Living your life after the love of your life left.

He made me feel safe, cared for and at home. I never had that before or after him.

>>36838739
We understood each other intuitively, we knew what the other was feeling without having to explain, but everytime she did something that I thought was bad for her it hurt deep. I guess it was what growing apart feels like. I broke up with her in a particularly bad episode of depression. I felt so empty that I didn't feel anything for her anymore. I probably shouldn't have left her, we had a special connection.

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>>36838784
I know what you mean.

It's been years since I separated with whom I believe to be the love of my life. I have nightmares about him daily, and I constantly whisper his name like some obsessive mantra when I'm overwhelmed.

The life we won't have haunts me and is slowly driving me insane, I just miss him so much. The worst part is that I know it's for the best we're not together, and I hope he found someone cute and sane to love him.

I just really wish I could still be his friend. I wish I could congratulate him when he graduates from Uni, or celebrate with him when he gets married. I want him to ask me to babysit his kids when we're old and I want him to trust me and rely on me. I'd be ok playing a sidekick to his life as long as I got to be close.

>>36838834
I'm sorry man. That emptiness sound awful.

>>36838968
It was probably for the best. I'm still in the same place I was back then, but she moved on and grew as a person.

>>36838739
Round two: Hospital crush.
Committed to mental health ward, at same time as lovely Polynesian girl. We've been facing a lot of the same issues and have the same internal world. It's pretty rare to be understood so well.

But she's a few years older than me, and engaged.

>>36839076
>We've been facing a lot of the same issues and have the same internal world. It's pretty rare to be understood so well.
I briefly had that same experience with someone recently. It was amazing, and changed the way I feel about myself, other people, relationships and humanity in general, I think permanently.

I miss it terribly.

>>36839207
Reach out to them if you can! Do the facebook thing.

>>36838889
I hope you can move on. It's not right that you should devote your entire life to him without getting the same in return, and it would be a burden on him and his partner as well.

Who knows, maybe you'll even find someone else and not think of him anymore.

I'm still hoping I might. Although it's only happened once, and I'm already 30.

>>36839280
Yea, I know you're right. I only mentioned the friendship as an unattainable fantasy. He's refused to talk to me these past few years; it's nearly impossible to even ask how he's doing.

I sent him some chocolates a bit over a year ago and no response. So, I figured I'm already a big enough burden to him as is.

I'm happy you remain positive, I hope you can fill that whole too.

>>36839380
From what you've said here, I don't think you're a burden to him now. He's probably just trying to help you make a clean break, or trying to make one for his own sake.

>>36839414
I dunno...maybe. It still hurts to have someone so special turn into a stranger.

>>36838739
She cared.
I didnt know she did, so i just ignored her, and i didnt want to fall for her.
But i did, and she fell for me, but i was so scared, i was hurt many times.
She eventually moved from me, so im stuck here

>>36839489
I know.

May it pass soon.

The girl I loved back when I was a complete normie, we did everything together and we were the average movie couple that couldn't separate no matter what.

But back in my existential phase I completely lost interest in everything to a pretty unhealthy extent to the point I couldn't do anything without being completely overwhelmed by the fact that it's all pointless. She noticed and said she just didn't like the new me and she missed how I used to be up beat all the time. She left me and it didn't effect me whatsoever then. But I think that's why I never left that phase and am now in a constant state of wanting to die.

>>36839612
Jesus christ anon, she was not mature enough to be with you, to me it sounds like a bad person. Existential issues are a human thing everybody has sooner or later.
>t.cyborg

>>36839606
Heh, yea. Let's hope that day comes for us before we commit sodoku.

>>36839726
Hey, there's more to life than men and love. If I lose hope, I'll turn to drugs. I expect they'll make me feel much better than any guy ever could.

The time for sudoku is only after you've done so much drugs even that stops feeling good.