What bothers you the most about your life anon?

>>36823787
The shear patheticness of it.

>>36823787
That ill never be in love

>>36823927
Care to share? Just curious.

I myself have constant brain fog whenever i a learning new things. I can not follow simple instructions or do some things normally that other people might do easily. I just do not "get " stuff.

>>36823999
trips spoke, we didn't read
>
>
that ^

>>36823999
At least you got trips.

Oregano

I am black
No one will love me
Both parents died before i reached 20.
I work a shitty job then come home and play video games and sleep.
Antisocial.
Feel like i am trapped.

>>36824017
Unlike a lot of robots.
I used to be a Chad and what not.
It's like my desire to die has ruined everything around me.
Now even my intelligence has faded because of multiple concussions. Not sure it will ever return.

>>36824126
That first one is the worst of all

original

That I tried hard and fucked up my back. Oh well life isn't fair at least I'm loaded now

>>36823787
I'm contempt with being alone.
I'm contempt with being quiet
I'm contempt with being blunt
but I truly want to have a family.

>>36824182
Whats wrong with yours faggot, 6 week mark from spinal fusion for me, no sciatic pain but cant feel my foot anymore nerve damage inside my penis some how doesnt work anymore and feels like its on fire got to love back injuries

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>>36823787
Too lazy and beta, my highschool years were the end of me. orgie

>>36823787
Where are all the fap rags on the floor at?

My brother, my only family, ghosted me. Now I'm officially alone in this world.

Thinking about all the missed chances I had from years of self-imposed loneliness and isolation

>>36823787
That I betrayed the one I love and will never be fully happy again.

>>36824252
So that was what 1 year ago?

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Loneliness.

I fucking hate the fact that I was such an idiot in my late teens/early twenties. I lost all contact with my friends, made a complete asshole out of myself, smoked and drank copious amounts, and became a lazy faggot and lost all of my muscle mass. Above all of those things, spending 90% of my time alone is killing me inside.

At least I'm doing well in uni now.....I guess.

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>>36823787
That I don't know what even bothers me.
Seriously. I don't know anything anymore. I don't know why I'm depressed, I don't know why I don't care about anything. I just don't know...

That I let myself get hurt by people and their actions. It could be something small that wouldn't and shouldn't matter to anyone else. Feels pretty pathetic

>>36823787
That I had good prospects and completely fucked it up. Now I've got no future prospects what-so-ever and I'm pretty much on the lowest rung of the social ladder.

This is second time ive walked in on my friend of 5 years kissing a girl that I have feelings for and he knew. He was cheating on his girlfriend who is also a really good friend of mine. I want new friends thats care about each other. I was already in a big wave of my manic depression and i feel hopeless. Where do I meet nice people?

> go to work
> earn a crap wage
> go home
> dinner
> Bed

Weekends are almost as boring.

I find its borning and theres nothing really going on.

>>36823787
The fact that unlike people on /pol/ who merely have trivial 'issues', I have an actual problem since I am mentally handicapped due to an accident.

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>>36823787
that i cannot make connections with people because im too scared of getting hurt

The fact that the spark of creation will forever elude me. I will never express myself or give life to my thoughts.

>>36823787
Addictions that will eventually make me a vegetable.

>>36823787
That I may not be able to get a job.
Crippling loneliness is my normal, but without money I'll become miserable real fast.

>>36824239
I Bulged a disc in my back it was helping up great until I pulled it again. I'm sure it'll heal in time.

Small penis - the worst problem of them all

>>36823787
How disgusting being alive is. The fact I was born. If I can't disappear from this place and get relief one day I will surely lose my mind.

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tfw no dreams or hopes

tfw the only thing keeping me alive is my cowardly faggotry in not being able to pull the trigger on my shotgun

tfw don't even want a gf anymore, nor companionship of any kind

these are a few of my least favorite things

>>36824303
>>36824272
Same. Loner in gradeschool but somehow had a normie friend group in early hs but ignored all of them and became really hostile for no reason. Same with potential gfs who approached me. I just don't get it

>>36823787
no sex and physical contact, and knowing that even if i managed to get a girl to like me enough to want to fuck, i have no experience and a small dick so it would be an absolute embarrassment

>>36825410
This is the worst about being a kv, I'm way more anxious about being intimate and fucking than I am approaching or dating

>>36823787
The fact that it's never going to get any better.
I'm just riding it out until I run out of money.

My life is fucking awesome and I'm worried that it'll fall apart.

>>36824300
2.

oregados

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Op here

Yea i am drunk right now. I hate my fucking brainfog so much. I am such a retard in even basic things. Sometimes life feels like it's not even for me. Sure i am not a victim of unit 731. But i feel like i do not want anything in this life aside from a gf because of nature. I feel like i am just forced to make it through life. I do not understand normies that have the ability and cunnign to enjoy this shit.

That I'm still alive despite the fact I've been getting the cold shoulder from life for a long time. I should really take a hint.

>>36823787
Nothing.

The thing that should bother me is the fact that I can't feel and have never felt any strong emotions; which means I likely won't ever experience many of the things that humans say defines their existence. However, to feel that way would require me to feel sadness, which is one of the many emotions I don't have.

When I was younger, I was told I just needed to encounter the proper stimuli to feel various emotions I lacked, but it never happened. At some point I concluded they weren't there.

It doesn't matter what happens. I have always felt this way. It's not bad. I don't dislike it.

It more the things that are completely out of my control that bother me. I feel the world going down the wrong path and believe that we're beyond the point of fixing any of it.

I'm also bothered by the fact that every woman in my age group is sexually experienced while I'm still a virgin and even if I did find someone I would be incapable of ignoring the fact she either loved someone else before me enough to be physically intimate with them or lack enough personal integrity to substain from shallow meaningless romances

>>36823787
the fact that the temporal dimension is one way

>>36823787
I'm so fat and I just CANT change it.

I know i'm pig disgusting, and I know I should kill myself.
Somehow I just can't bring myself to not eat food, idk.

Maybe I need to be put into an obesity program.

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>>36823787
I lack discipline. It's what got me kicked out of my elementary school, almost held back in middle school, almost kept me from graduating high school and whats about to make me drop out of college. I'm good for nothing.

i finally got a great bf, and i have horrible thoughts everyday because of my depression. i think about him leaving me, us becoming stale and not talking anymore, me breaking up because i dont want to put effort into seeing him even though i love him, him killing himself and me being truly alone, etc. everything is shit

>>36826098
work hard labor

That I'm running out of time

Dropped out of grade 9, not even because of the schoolwork.

I just don't understand why I'm so pessimistic and lack empathy. I think it's because I was given a pretty shitty hand from birth in some regards and I've let it turn me into an abrasive, pessimistic asshole who no one can love.

I'm either being shy and quiet or I'm being loud and abrasive. There doesn't seem to be a middle ground for me. I'm attractive enough to make this work if I put myself out there and played the douchebag role at bars but I'm nowhere near self-confident enough to pull that off. The only person I hate more than everyone else is me.

i cant understand myself

>>36823787
The anxiety and inability to make my own choices.

>>36826359
Do you like just don't really give a shit? Not meant to mock you it's kinda what i got but i am still nervous as hell while that does not make any sense.

Oregano

My 4 inch dick

I'm not bravr enough to really talk to people

>Very little motivation. I'm here instead of studying for finals
>Manlet
>Never been in a relationship when all I want is a qt to cuddle with
>Come to here vent even though I don't have it that bad

>>36823787
I think I'm female sometimes but look nothing like it

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I'm a schizoid. As a result, I feel out of place. Feels like I should live far from society. Instead, I am forced to work and stress, when inside I am mostly apathetic.

I can't be dealing with this shit. I couldn't give less of a shit about my future.

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I feel like everything I do is fraudulent. I cannot tell if I am a low ambition sociopath or somebody larping mental illness. I have almost no natural sense of self.

>took 6 years to finish 3 year course
>was taking course full time
>took 2 years more to get entry level job
>entry level job is dead end
>no motivation to study to get certs
>credit card maxed out from car accident
>put on 20kg since start of the year
>lost all muscle mass
>mental health is getting worse

How about most of my fucking life.

>>36823787
That I am a coward and get everything that I deserve

>>36828718
>Come to here vent even though I don't have it that bad

constantly this shit. I also wonder if i have it bad enough to feel bad and then feel bad and pathetic because "well it is not that bad".

>>36824152
how were you a chad? what does that mean and what was it like?

>>36823787
That I seem to be utterly repulsive to practically everyone around me. I haven't had a full, deep conversation with someone in weeks. I haven't talked to my parents in months, and my coworkers barely acknowledge my existence. They don't talk to me at all at work other than to ask me something. Otherwise it's just dead silence.

That, or the massive trust issues I have with fucking EVERYONE.

Then again, I'm mostly responsible for that as the thought of socializing and interacting with other people terrifies me. I'm just so pathetic. I mean, who the fuck refuses to cook because they're afraid of what their roommates will think? Me. Who the fuck stays in their room all day because they're afraid of talking to their roommates? I do. Who the fuck rides the bus all the way to the final stop just because they're too afraid of inconveniencing the driver and other passengers? I fucking do.

My existence is just fucking pathetic. If I could just feel comfortable enough around someone to let my guard down a little and just talk with them, that would be fucking spectacular. If I could make just one good friend whom I could talk with candidly and openly, that would be fucking swell. Yet I can't even trust my psychiatrist or therapists enough to even say 1/10th of what I actually want to say about how I really fell. I'm just fucking sick of being so dull, lonely, and utterly pathetic.

>>36827853
Like I really don't give a shit. I've been told time and time again that my decisions will lead me no where and I just can't find a will to care.

That I live in Sydney. Any danger of these house prices going down.

>>36829042
Do you care for yourself in life? Like you have your own income and all that shit? I want to get to that level so that i am free to really not give a shit and not feel bad about fucking over someone else.

>>36823787
That I'll never be worthwhile. I'll never produce anything of value

>>36829232
I believe in you anon, what's wrong? Go draw even if it's shitty, read a book. Who cares if you're 25+, breaks my heart to see anons not believing in themselves. The hardest step is to start, leave 4chan and go.

>>36823787
If only I was raised differently, to stick up for myself, to have self confidence, to not have been second to my other siblings, things would be so much better

>>36826480
Oh stacy you and your bf are going to enjoy many years together.
Untill chad cheats.
As for Ops question...Everything in this thread.
Some day soon I will be home.

>>36823787
How bad i lost the genetic lottery.
Every time i try to self improve i always remember that im an irl Quasimodo and give up

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>>36829493
Stop being a shoulder to cry on ass hole.
The attention, here you are

>>36829635
That sounds like it really sucks anon

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OP here.

In reality i probably would not last but does anyone else just want to escape sometimes? I think i would like to just live in a small wooden house in fucking sibirea. Money and cold would be a problem. If only i was not a sperg with constant brainfog i could have figured this shit out.

That it wont work out with the only person I love

I don't like being different.
I've always wanted to form friendships and go on adventures and shit, but people just don't like me.

The worst part is when you can see everyone else around you has no problem, even literal autists get friends faster than me. And anyone who sticks around long enough invaruably becomes bored with my uninteresting life.

>>36826572
This! Fuck my family!!!

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my height (5'6) and my cleft lip (even though ive had many surgeries) it really really fucking sucks that ill prob never have a gf no matter how much effort i put in.

>>36823787
People and duration,it's FUCKIN long.

The boringness and the unlucky.

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The fear of death, and its motivating forces

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>that I'm not dead yet
I keep telling myself I won't be anything in life, and that I need to and want to die, but I just can't do it. Too pussy to walk into Wal-Mart at 18 and try to buy a gun

>that I get too attached
I've always been a loser, but I can pull off looking semi-normal. Since I've never really had many good friends, (Only 1, hardly talk anymore) I get attached to some of the pimple I'm around. My coworkers especially, a couple of them are going to different jobs, and I wish I could keep in contact with them. Most likely won't be much if anything. I also just recently quit because of them more or less, I would stay at the shitty ass job if they stayed as well. Either way though, it's shitty and if I wasn't as attached I probably would've left around now anyway, as it's fucking terrible during the summer

>>36830372
*people not pimple s m h

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>>36823787
How little I've improved at drawing for how much time and effort I've put into getting better.

>>36823787
That there's apparently a teacher shortage right now (especially in science), but yet no one seems to want to hire me. I figure someone will, but it's seems like it's going to be rather grudgingly.
I know it's not a huge, existential problem like some of y'all have, but it's what's bothering me right now. I have a part-time job to pay the rent and stuff (and it's easy and I like it), but that won't pay the student loans.

>>36823787
Could have done so much...
Done nothing but wandering.

>>36831128
Seems like there are a lot of these "in demand" fields that aren't actually in demand.

>>36823787
I've been a NEET now for almost 2 years since I finished college in 2015, and looking back on these last few years everything is mostly just a huge blur to me. Other than my mom almost dying of cancer it's been a pretty uneventful and boring last couple of years.

Moreover I don't know how many other neets on here will be able to relate to this feel, but in a way it also kind of hurts seeing most of the people I graduated with who already found decent careers right out of graduation and who are progressing in life while I've sat around and have done almost nothing the last few years.

I half realize that I should just settle for a shitty retail job or call center job, if nothing else to keep me busy for at least some of the time but I reallyyyyy don't want to go deal with pushy and annoying people/customers on a daily basis again. I worked a retail job in my senior year of high school for several months and I absolutely hated it. I'm not on Neetbucks/welfarebucks, but I live with my parents and don't know how much more patience they will have with me.

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The fact that no matter what I do it's completely pointless in the end. It's like playing a game to the end just to get the bad end every time.

>>36829021
Aaahhhh!!!!
Fucking this!!!!
I want the world to end already for the love of God.

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>>36823787
I constantly have gay thoughts.
I wanna be fugged in the butt but I dont want to be gay.

end it

i used to dream about love

>>36823787
i am just bored. i don't know what to do or where to go. nothing has made me happy in a long time and i don't get it. nothing feels new or exciting or fun everything seems mundane. new video games, tv, outside, hiking, books, math, science it feels like i already have a general idea of what is going to happen. like king soloman said there is nothing new under the sun

I would give anything for acceptance.

>>36823787
>i can't seem to form close bonds with anyone
>I can't find employment
>i fail at the most basic of tasks, despite giving it my all

>>36826098
Simple carbs fuck with the hormone insulin and make you want to eat. Avoid simple carbs and you'll experience a change in your appetite and your metabolism.

>>36831795
This comes from too much weird porn. Stop watching too much weird porn is the best solution.

>>36832711
Even after quitting porn all together it comes back.

That I don't go outside as much as I need to. I'm lazy, unmotivated, and a kissless virgin.

>>36823787
That looks an awful lot like Bernd's room.

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>>36823787
An utter lack of motivation, and total apathy to life in general. It's a struggle just to get out of bed in the morning, requiring almost superhuman effort on my part. The only reason I have a job and am studying is to make my family happy, even though in all psychological aspects I'm a total failure and can't wait for them to die so I can finally commit suicide and be at peace

>>36829493
I know so. I have so many mental problems it's pretty much impossible for me to do anything, social anxiety being the hardest. I never leave the house

everything op

everything

original

>>36823787
>What bothers you the most about your life anon?

that I'm a manlet. There are plenty things wrong about me but being a manlet bothers me the most

>>36823787
That it might not be too bad if I actually tried.>>36823927

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>>36823787
That I will never be happy, that I will never get my brother back, that I will never be a kid again, that I wasted and continue to waste what pathetic excuse for a life I have, that I could never achieve any of my goals, that I'm a fat, lazy pile of shit with no hopes of ever doing anything worthwhile, that I will die alone.

That I miss the ones I love more than anything, and I cannot see them. This is Hell.

Being alive. I hate having to eat, shit, feel, think. I'm not a religious person but I fear what awaits me if I kill myself.

>>36823787
My mentally handicapped sister

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>>36823787
The fact that i'm 21, and still living at home like a leech. i don't even have a car or license, My dad drives me to work.
He keeps talking about me "Moving on" It's clear he doesn't want me around anymore.
I work as a cashier, and anybody whose worked in that field knows how shit it is.

I don't know how to leave, i have to have someone teach me how to drive but there never seems to be any time, And i already know if my dad taught me how to drive he'd be yelling the entire time.

Fuck everything
My struggle is not yours though

>>36825153
iktf
It's too small and I'm otherwise unattractive
the sexual part of the human experience is not for me
I feel like I'm about to cry but nothing's happening what is this

I'm directionless in life. Working a a dead end job. I feel like I annoy everyone around me. No gf. No friennds.

I have everything most people we would want, and still I feel empty. I'm trapped by humilations and guilt from decades ago. No matter how successful I am the sense of being haunted and tormented never fades away. Always forward, forward, no rest.

Other than my medical competence I swear I have nothing society wants or needs. Sometimes I think I work so hard so that when I'm dead my patients will be waiting for me. Maybe they will advocate for me even a little to whoever makes decisions about worthiness.

There is no way out for me. I will ride until the end, and expect nothing good to come of it. Maybe I can make it easier for others, maybe I'm fooling myself. I think I've even helped a few people here.....

I guess my whole life bothers me, anon. It's ok though, I'm used to it.

>>36830408
>not using construction
>hasn't even bothered to read the st/ic/ky
>effort

>>36823787
Sex thats been driving me lately.
And I guess just being on here.

>>36825682
>enjoy this shit.
You just have to get off on the abuse.

>>36829725
I live in canada but its fun living in a winter wasteland.
You can die if you pass out drunk its a rush.

That I will never be good at anything i find fun

Dying is seen as bad, and people want me to stay alive. My desire is to die with the only exception being whether or not I find something that instills passion in me. I am obligated to live because choosing to die feels unfair to the people who have put effort into me. One day I will feel my life is my most sacred right and I will do as I will, but for now I wait until I can wait no longer. I wish I did not feel this guilt that prevents me, and I wish I was selfish enough to do it. I am certain it will happen someday.

>>36823787
The lack of... i don't know what is lacking in my life in the recent month, i think is the lack of affection, the lack of sense, the lack of money, a big emptiness that's starting to annoying me.

I'm intelligent enough to do 99% of jobs and socially apt enough to get myself there, but sheer lack of motivation keeps me from doing more than the bare minimum to survive.

The fact that my family has done so much to get me where I am today at a top college, yet I've completely wasted my first year. I've been in my room wasting away and staying up until 6 am, I miss lunch every day and I just a dinner a day, and I know my fucking up is entirely my fault. I don't get how the fucking normies around me just don't deal with this shit, they just do things like usual but for me when I sit down I can't read a page until the pointlessness of my life and my career hits me. I don't want to live to work and I don't see any point even if I get far, because I'll always return to this hedonistic, selfish, traitorous version of myself. I know I need this degree but I've failed classes for the requirement and I'm just angry at myself for being a dumbass

>>36823787
The fact that all of my problems could all be solved with just a little bit of fucking effort, but my brain is wired for porn and games now. I should just throw my electronics away. But I won't.

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>>36823787

I hate the people that surround me but I care a lot for them, I feel like my life is empty, i dont feel like im going anywhere. I'm a shadow of my former self, many of the things i use to love doing i no longer do them, the things that used to define me as me, the dreams i had locked in my head are gone and i wonder what the fuck happened. Everything i use to enjoy is either illegal, immoral, or a sin.

The only thing that keeps me going is my faith in sky daddy, and the previously mentioned people depend off me.

I was a huge loner at one point, i didnt have any friends or family to hang out with. One day i realized that if i where to die by accident or anhero, no one would notice me missing for a solid 2 or 3 months or until i get evicted.

I enjoyed it, its like some sense of freedom or some shit.

I view them as a bunch of fucking idiots, each and everyone of those people that are relevant to my life (friends, family, coworkers, neighbors, etc.).

Not the people from church, i see them as the family that was missing in some parts of my life.

I keep telling my self, it could be worse... i could end up a junkie or a hobo, im thankful i dont have those problems.

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>>36823787
other people and my dependence on them
if I didn't need so many people, and the things I have to do to live in the world with them and could just chill with doggo, it would be just the best.

>good Uni degree and work experience
>work my ass off and win local bodybuilding competition against roiders while natural
>land dream grad role
>move out into a super nice place for virtually nothing
>realize that despite reaching "success" in so many various ways, I'm no way as happy as when I was when I was 11-15 and playing 2005-2010 era video games all day with my friends
>lose all motivation for everything
>start balding

This can't be it, I can reach every pillar of normie success but that level of happiness will ever be reached

>>36823787
People still have expectations of me, but I already know I'm a complete failure.
I see the traincrash coming, but I can't do anything to stop it. I just want to get past the moment everyone realizes exactly how pathetic I am already so the pain will stay at a constant level and I don't have to cower in front of a giant wall of it anymore.

>>36823787
Probably that I'm not rich. I notice that's what I obsess over lately, since if I can't obtain happiness through normal means money should be able to allow me to grasp it.

>>36837756
Just go full NEET and watch anime all day.
We robots aren't made like normies. What makes them happy doesn't make us happy.

Everywhere I look I see successful people,
they know what they want, and they get to it easily, without even trying

Meanwhile I'm here, all I want to do is draw,
I do it every fucking day and I'm shit
I don't even know what I am, it's like I don't have an identity nor an objective,
I'm just a living empty shell

>>36837856
It's not the same, I took 3 weeks off work and binged vanilla WoW but it's not the same. I even bought the same deoderent and listened to the same music but it's not the same - The nostalgia is gone.

I just believe that that was genuinely the high point of my life and that's a crazy thing to wrap your head around when you're going to be alive for another 5-6 decades.

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>>36823787
I've lost control of it. My dad has been a literal NEET for a year and I'm stuck paying all this shit, all the while trying to save up to move out. The biggest problem being whenever I hit 1k saved up he "borrows" it to pay for his debts and shit. Holy fuck I'm so stressed all the time and he's been saying he'll get a job for fucking ever then says shit like, "well I'm here at home to support you" when I say he should get a fucking job.

Sorry for blogposting, I just needed to vent

>>36823787
The sheer dullness, monotony, and purposelessness of it. I either wish life would be more fantastical, or that I'd find at least some things in reality remotely interesting.

>>36837890
Your problem is trying to relive it instead of experiencing new joys.
What's gone is gone, but you can go after new experiences. Just gotta realize that the normie dream of a good job, a stacy, and 3 children that hate you isn't what's ever going to make you happy.

>>36837905
I'll never understand people who are stuck "supporting" their parents. Like nigga what the fuck are you doing, stop being so emotionally attached. If he's able-bodied he will find work and if he's not that's the price he pays for the choices he made. Don't let him ruin your future too.

>>36838016
You're absolutely right but, there's no where to go. My mom wants me to come live with her but she's a fucking psycho and I'm afraid if I say no to paying for my dad's shit he'll kick me out. Then I'm a bum for however long until I can get my own place. I had a plan to leave but, the guy I was going to room with left for college upstate.

All I know is when I do get out of here they're never going to hear from my ass ever again

>>36838141
Your mom may be a fucking psycho but will she take your money? If you can live with her you can save up enough money to at least move out and stay alive on your own, assuming you make enough to do so. You could also continue looking for a possible room mate.

>>36823787
The lack of happiness
Can't get a dog

That drugs are thing that lets me escape my past.

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>>36835684
I understand. I failed out of school after two years, then was NEET for one, then got work for most of a year and am now NEET again. Cut off contact with everyone other than when I was about to be evicted and needed money. I hate myself, my life would be so much easier if I could have just stuck with college.
I hate myself. My back is messed up so I don't sleep much anymore, just from time to time in my computer chair. I hate myself. I need to do stuff but I'm not, I'm just not. I wish I had the powers of a normal human being and could just take care of my life, I wish I could drive and be around people and talk to them.

>>36837890
Fucking hell, the plaiying vanilla WoW as a teeanger being the highest point of my life hits too close to home.

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>>36823999
the fact that I'll never feel the loving embrace of woman haunts me daily

Im so awkward and lonely. i dont want a gf or even friends, i just want to be able to be a part of a conversation without sperging out.

I want kids and I have right wing political views, but ive been dating a trap for years and i love her tremendously

Cant have a family or join any paramilitary group because Im a huge faggot who gets emotionally attached

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>>36823787
That kids that graduated when they turned 18 had hopes, a future, a girlfriendn a social life, a college that just sent them an acceptance letter.
I hate saying it but i got sucker punched by the system, my dad got to sue them for me before he moved back East, but it doesnt make up for my lost experiences, the life i never got to live.
I was homeless when i was 18, and other kids had it made, its so unfair.

>>36823787
That I don't know anything. And people won't help, not because they are all mean or something (most people are good imo), but because they don't see inside my head. The world would be a much bettter place if we all were honest with each other and had no reason to be afraid to.

>>36831441
that is actually comfy to me. no matter how much i fuck up sweet oblivion will come. Yes i know how edgy that sounds.

>>36839945
it's not edgy
whenever shit gets heavy I just remember I'm going to die and in 100yrs time no one will even know I ever existed

helps me put things into perspective

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Apathy. I can't tell you how it happened, but I have a theory: When growing up, everybody has their own set of rules that define their world, which, when broken, dissociate them from their environment. For most people, this is something like Donald Trump becoming president, but it happens in other, subtler ways. Your parents can finally get a divorce and move away, and you can see a website you once identified with strongly become nothing to you. By degrees, you change and undergo new phases until it's impossible to relate to anyone. Even those obscure hobbies that seemed to have infinite potential become just another thing. When you ask about it online, people will tell you to start reading philosophy, or start meditating or exercising, but the novelty always wears off after a few days even if you keep at it, and you're just left with that grotesque emptiness inside you.

And this is life now. For the past years, it's all been dwindling, and now I have only the ashes of a once enjoyable life. I'm only eighteen years-old, so there's a good chance it'll improve, but these past few years have been so barren that I honestly don't know how it could.

>>36840377
I don't know if this is real anymore and that disturbs me for internal and external reasons.
Do not want

>>36840416
Are you speaking of your life, or my post?

I listened to everyone's advice and did everything "right".

All it did was make me miserable, used and alone.

>>36823787
Trying to get back to where I was a few years ago but the amount of work I need to do just makes me feel so defeated.

>>36840443
Your post initially, but I realized it was kind of vague afterwards and enjoyed the ambiguity, fwiw.

>>36840518
All of the post is true. I'll admit a few advantages to make it more realistic: You have complete freedom with your money and can buy anything without regret. You can't get really angry or sad. After some time, you become accustomed to it and stop getting upset over it. That's how it is most of the time, it's just on weekends that it breaks and I come here. I still try new things, maybe they will stick some day. It's out of my control, so there's no point in stressing.

I procrastinate too much, like I'm doing right now.

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NIGGERS & SPICS

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The fact that everyone else seems to think Im doing pretty well in life yet I don't feel it.

>Earn a decent wage
>A lot of savings for someone my age
>Pretty happy family life, everyone seems to like me

All this and yet I still don't get this "content" feeling with life. Im not exactly an ambitious person, just want a small, comfy sort of life and someone to share it with. Coming up to being a 20yr old KHV soon and this feeling is becoming more crushing with every day.

>>36823787
Mostly just loneliness. Not physical or romantic loneliness, but rather lack of belonging anywhere, inability to form connections with others, no peer group of people with similar ideas and opinions, etc

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I've wasted it. I've never had anything interesting happen to me. High school was just me being a sperg and going home and doing nothing. Evertime I read greentext stories I can't relate at all. And I can't blame anyone but myself.

How hard it is to do stuff. Not even "hard stuff", like, wanna download an anime? Go to horriblesubs, search for it, select a resolution and get the magnet, wait for the torrent to load and don't be able to use internet for an hour because torrenting takes up the whole bandwith.