Psychological Issues #54

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How do I cope with loneliness if all I want is someone to care for

>>36814564
Masturbation

(originally)

>>36814612
I can't jerk off my heart anon

>>36814564

You then have to find someone.

>>36814627
Not possible at the moment, long story

For now I just need a way to cope and avoid thinking about it all the time

>>36814645

Stick around here and talk with people. It helps. You and others.

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>>36814664
narcissism's last breath

>>36814664
Morning Nick. Early start today

>>36815139

Yes and no. It's not that early for me.

Hey everyone, hope you're all having a nice day.

so, thinks have progressed with Dan and I. (Dont read if you dont want to read about faggy shit)

>he invited me over Thursday night, things are cool between us two
>we start touching eachother and blow eachother
>but neither of us cum
>dont think much of it since i was burned out after doing my diss
>go to sleep with him and im happy
>wake up early because i have a lecture
>meet up again later last night
>things heat up again
>he ends up cumming but i dont cum, realise i dont think i can in front of other people
>before he goes to sleep, says "i wish you weren't going away" (i'm going to a different city for my new job next week)
>i say "well you're the one going overseas next month"
>we both agree to enjoy what we have going on right now and to talk after he comes back after summer

long story short, i've completely fallen for him
is it bad if i still talk to other boys while he's away?
how would you define our situationship?
should i try to un-fall for him in case he doesnt want to do anything after he comes back?

sorry if it sounds like regular relationship drama but i'm new to all this and i dont want the depression to come back

thanks in advance

>>36815170
Early for me. It is almost 10am now, your threads are usually up around 2pm my time. Wish I could have been more involved yesterday, but real world getting hectic.

Morning. Enjoying my customary hangover. Had a nice chat to meta last night (I think)

>>36815221
>is it bad if i still talk to other boys while he's away?

Discuss it with him, make things clear.

Or if you'd both rather remain unclear, don't say anything and do as you feel.

>>36815221
>how would you define our situationship?

I'd define it as tricky. But all things are workable. It's a matter of will.

>>36815221
Talk with him about this. I'm no relationship expert. But If you want to become a thing with him you both need to talk out what is acceptable and what isnt

>>36815221
I don't wish to alarm you but based on your post I fear that you may have come down with a case of the gay.

That in mind, it's absolutely a subjective issue. The most important thing is for you to discuss it with him and make your boundaries and intentions explicit. It could be that a LDR is reasonable, or it may be more sensible to go on a break or terminate things altogether. What's most important is that you discuss it and get on the same page.

Greetings, just had lunch but still hungry as fuck,
going to try to draw something today, hopefully it doesn't strike me down.

Howdy friends, Mikey Mike has made his triumphant return! Nick, I scrolled past the thread yesterday or the day before and it said you got banned, what was that about?

Also I've started my new job which is in corporation formation but I also still serve legal papers and whatever else they need me to do in the office. I like to think of my new position as the oil that lubricates the machine, if you'll pardon a metaphor. While I don't serve one irreplaceable purpose, the ability to do many different things correctly keeps me valuable to my boss and I feel like I'm in a good, stable place.

How's everyone today?

>>36815318
>>36815333
>>36815378
thank you all for this advice

hes gone back home for the weekend but i'll see him sunday night, i'll talk about all this with him then

will update you all when it happens

>I fear that you may have come down with a case of the gay
and facet, always have, always will be

>>36815425
Sounds good. I'm eating rancid microwave pie in an attempt to dry up my hangover. Also, a blackcurrant lemsip.

>>36815425
>it said you got banned, what was that about?

For bloxposting, those words you add to make your post artificially original.

Sometimes I get warnings, sometimes I don't.

>>36815505
It's obvious that some cunt has it in for you at this point

>>36815505
Just bee more originaligo

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>>36815517

Yes, and it's not hard to know who it is. It's always the same troll.

Or maybe this other person whom I shut down. Pic related. They left the thread without a word after that.

I took a pill, I'm feeling more woozy now.

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>>36815567
He should have just beed his self desu

>>36815455
Sounds gross, man. I go for gaterade with fried eggs & toast for my hangovers

>>36815608
The GOAT is a fried egg, baked beans and sausage sandwich. Optional extras can include black pudding/ onions/ mushrooms. However, this was a 70cl of vodka night meaning I'm not up to leaving the house yet

>>36815447
I hope it works out for you Ben. Certain personal opinions aside, but I believe everyone should get the chance to live happy.

>>36815597
Just to address the content of her posts, Cluster Bs do have traits in common and it can get pretty murky between them. More women are indeed diagnosed with BPD but that is in part because men tend to be diagnosed with ASPD instead, even if their symptoms more closely fit BPD.

>>36815425
That is a good place to be. It is what I do wherever I work. Be invaluable. Be irreplacable. Make them need you, and you'll never go hungry.

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>>36815666
This post brought to you by the Forces of Darkness

>Went to doctors
>told him Vita lope a my didn't seem to be working
>prescription for 3 months worth of citalopram...

>>36815628
That does sound like the GOAT. What kind of bread are we talkin on that bad boy?

>>36815664
thanks, i feel happy right now and i want it to continue
i'm trying to keep it together without scaring him off, but i think he understands me

>>36815694
Citalopram not "Vita lope a my"

Fucking phone posters are the worst.

>>36815666

I'm aware of all this, Satan.

>>36815709
It's got to be a large white bap, nice and soft I reckon. This may be divisive but I think a fair bit of ketchup and either brown sauce or BBQ. Never more than two sauces though, these aren't the last days of Rome.

>>36815730
>Citalopram not "Vita lope a my"

How does that even happen?

Funny.

>>36815753
Auto-correct. Im phone posting.

>>36815764
>Another Brit
Well weigh in on black pudding then bloody hell, these are the big issues

>>36815884
Good black pudding is awesome.
Cheap black pudding is like eating Satan's turds.

>>36815902
I know what you mean. I find if you get it soggy with beans it's redeemable but dry black pudding is the worst. White pudding is the patrician choice but fadingly rare

>>36815710
Well as long as you both communicate effectivly you shouldn't have any problems

>>36815934
I've never tried it. But the butchers near my mums sells it.

I may have to take the plunge, they also do the best Cumberland sausages

I haven't gotten out of bed yet and this thread is making me disgustingly hungry :-)

>>36816162
If you like black pudding you owe it to yourself to give it a go.

>>36816162
>>36816166
What's the best sausage then lads? Might nip down the butcher's myself later. Cumberland is a classic but my personal favourite is a Welsh Dragon: pork, leek and chili.

>spider crawls up my glass and falls into my drink
>pick its dead body out after it drowns
>moist spider parts floating around and inside the drink
>drink it because every ounce of alcohol counts

How normal am I>

>>36816203

How did the spider lose its limbs in your drink?

>>36816193
The order of sausages is thus:

1. Cumberland
2. Lincolnshire
3. Pork and apple
4. Tomato
5. Bratwurst
6. Everything else

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>>36816235
>German filth anywhere on the list
>Not even a mention of pork and leek

>>36816203
Sounds like an alcoholic to me.

>>36816305
Bratwurst are fucking delicious. They deserve a mention.

I don't particularly care for leeks.

>>36814620
Have even tried?

>>36816481
I meant to put a (you) in there.

Hey Nick did you fall asleep on us?

>>36816568
There's some shit going on that I believe he's dealing with atm. Not my place to say more but it's important

>>36816568

No, I'm here. I've taken the pill thing and I'm not sure it works really.

I'm not at my best.

Just tired of everything being so unreal. It's been months now.

>>36816597
>>36816585
Hope you get better soon Nick. Can't speak for everyone, but this world would be worse without you

>>36816627

Kind of you.

Ethan is at the hospital, for anyone who wondered about last night.

>>36816797
What happened?! Also just now realized I dropped my name here
>>36816568
>>36816627

>>36816814

Ethan told me I could say what I wanted in the thread, if asked, so I'm not sure what to say.

My worst fears came true, basically. It was a trap.

>>36816856
Dammit!! Fuck it its my fault I should have convinxed hum it was a trap!

>>36816919

It's the fault of the attackers. Nobody could imagine something like this would happen. I did, but I thought I was being paranoid, so did Ethan.

>>36816960
Who attacked him? Why did they do it? Is he going to be ok?

>>36816991

He has several broken bones. His mind is shattered and he said he may never speak to me again. I'm very concerned for him.

>>36816960
I've seen this shit go down more than once before. I should've spoke up more.

>>36817111

You have? How so?

>>36817119
Ganging up on those that are different happens all the time in a small town. Don't want to dox myself so I'll be vague, but it can be anywhere from forcing someone to fight someone else they can't possibly win, to burning their house down while they're inside. People are fucking evil, especially when they believe they are right.

>>36817261

I'm so tired. Of all this.

>>36817326
people suck

Sounds like some shits going down with other anons.

I'm slowly descending back into hermit mode, just got to go get some drinks and I'll be set.

>>36817509
Yeah one of ours got assaulted by a band ot evil. He's thankfully alive but I fear he'll never trust again.

>>36817615
Like, muggers?

Seems so surreal to me, hope they grt better soon though.

>>36817615

He had been assaulted before.

>>36817636

Much worse.

Hello everyone!

I'm gonna vent a little if you don't mind. Yesterday I got very drunk, drank almost a liter of hard liquor (stolichnaya vodka by the way) during the evening and now I feel like shit. Thing is, it's not that I feel like shit because of the booze, I know what that's like (my hangovers are very mild). It's different. My head is ringing, I have trouble breathing. Actually when I was walking down the street I had to stop a couple times and stand still while breathing deeply. I was supposed to go to a social event but I just couldn't stand being there, so I left. It's like this strange panic or something. Now I'm in my room again and I feel fine, but being outside I constantly felt like screaming, crying, just going apeshit in general. Anyone experiences things like this?

>>36817660
Worse than muggers? I wasn't here for last thread. (In fact I'm only here maybe every 5-10 threads~)

>>36817671
I know it. Eat something, have a shower, sleep more if you're able. You've just got to write the day off.

>>36817671

To some degree, sometimes, but not quite like this.

When are you seeing a therapist again?

>>36817693

He was beaten and raped, and beaten again. He passed out and was left for dead. They broke his leg, a few ribs, and several fingers after he slashed one with a knife he had on him.

>>36817735
Do you know where he's from?

>>36817735
Oh fuck.
Does that have any correlation to anything on here though?

>>36817733
Well yeah but this doesn't happen usually. I've never had hangovers like this before. I don't know if they get worse by age, but I was never this panicked. It's like a brand new world of shit.

Maybe the hangover amplifies it.

>>36817735
>When are you seeing a therapist again?
You know I can't do that. For some legal reasons.

>>36817660
And I'm worried this will break his trust in humanity completly. I fear he'll withdraw from everyone until he's unreachable, lost to his fear

Look, we can't leave it like this. We have to do something. I don't know what, but we have to do something. We have to.

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>>36817762

Not far from London.

>>36817766

Yes, we had been discussing this dinner thing for a week. I had first thought it could be a trap. I had imagined pretty much what had had happened, but it seemed unbelievable. There were some red flags. I alternated between trusting my instincts and telling him not to go and thinking I was paranoid.

Ethan's story has been ongoing for a while now.

I failed him.

>>36817810
>You know I can't do that. For some legal reasons.

Detail that crap to me again.

>>36817814

He's in a state of shock now, with massive depression and derealisation. I'm trying to get him to seek mental help but he wants to wait for his therapist's appointment. Ethan isn't used to getting what he needs and insisting, same as me, so he doesn't.

>>36817870
Does he know who they are? What information does he have about them?

>>36817849

The police is on the case, and I don't see how this ends well for them. They will catch the main guy and I doubt it'll be hard to get the others from that one.

>>36817910

He most likely knows the full name of his coworker. He'd recognise the other two, and one of them was wounded by him.

>mfw my advice to get the police involved would have caught them on the spot and prevented this horrific event

I often dislike being right. I wonder if the police would have played along, though, I assumed they wouldn't.

>>36817906
>Detail that crap to me again.
There are some things you can't do if you have a record of mental illness or being treated for one. I'd rather not go into too much detail, but it's something I enjoy doing and would have to give up.

So why does the faggot keep getting raped? Does he secretly enjoy it?

>>36817959
>>36817934
I'm worried that he'll bottle out or downplay it to the police, or he'll be threatened or coerced into dropping the charges.

>>36817962

You're a gun nut aren't you?

>>36817982

He told them everything already. His boyfriend will make sure he doesn't drop anything, but I doubt he would. He wounded one of them with a knife, pretty based.

>>36817968

You're a piece of shit and you know it.

>>36817987
Well, I don't know. Given the things I have said in these threads and on 4chan in general. I'd rather not be explicit.

But if I were? Every case like that (a gun license owner with mental problems) gets made an example out of.

>>36817766
he was one of ours, and those assholes nearly killed him
>>36817959
I'm as much at fault as you Nick. If I'd told him some of the more graphic things I'd seen maybe he wouldn'tve gone. But it's too late to beat ourselves over it now. Now we gotta just be there for him and pray for him and his doctors that he recovers.

>>36817968
Please go fellate a shotgun. He was nearly killed and all you care about is being edgy.

>>36818051
It's really good that he has a bf whom I hope will keep things moving on that score.

>>36818051
Yes, and?

>>36818114
Whoa, man. I love guns, but I'm not a faggot.

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I'm truly sorry to hear about Ethan. What can we do?

>>36818349

You could write to him. I can give you his address.

>>36818349
The thing is, any edgy suggestion I could make would ultimately only be selfish. He's such a sweet person and I cannot imagine him wanting to see suffering visited upon others. Much as they may deserve it.

>>36818356
If you think that could help even a little, I'm certain willing.

>>36818392
Not what he meant Facet. He meant what we can do FOR Ethan

>>36818425

I think it'll help. He needs all the help we can give him.

>>36818392
I just never know what to do. Kind words seem inadequate or even insulting.

>>36818436

Facet understood very well, but he's ready to go fuck shit up in Ethan's name.

I say let the police do its work.

>>36818449

Speak with your heart. It's always difficult to have anything worthy to say in such cases. Just speak with your heart.

>>36818468
I think you're right. The law is the right way to handle this. However, if justice isn't done I would like to help Ethan in whatever way he would think appropriate.

>>36818449
Just tell him the truth. That you're sorry this happened to him and that you wish him well.

>>36818468
Are there any witnesses? I mean groups like this usually have some relations to the police otherwise they couldn't go about their bussiness.

>>36818537
He's in Britain, so as long as they're not Muslims the law will get them.

>>36814374
Hey Nick, thought you had killed yourself or something. Haven't seen the threads in a while.

>>36818628

It's been up every day since March, without fault.

>>36818596
That's exactly the thing ... I guess we can only hope that they will get punished. And if they don't, I think there are things we can do.

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I'm just going to post a silly picture to lighten the mood a touch, if that's alright

>>36818654
He wouldn't want that. Poorly as they treated him, hea a good person

>>36818641
I didn't know that. I guess I must have missed them.

>>36818684
Shit actually that wasn't entirely sensitive. I just picked one at random. Feel free to ignore

>>36818684

>chimeny
>chimney

Triggered.

>>36818700

I wondered, but decided not to get mad this time. Don't worry.

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>>36818684
>>36818700
Its fine no harm intended. I agree with some light-heartedness

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Here's another. Don't see this one upsetting anyone

>>36818696
Yeah, him being a good person is not totally relevant here. I'm just saying that some revenge is in order. Regardless.

I'm still sitting in the queue for my psychiatric evaluation, failing job after job.

I can't tell if I'm bored, depressed or what's going on anymore.

>>36818736
That's wrong. As much as it hurts, you can't continue bringing more of this kind of thing into the world. It's not fair, it's not just, but what happened to Ethan can never be undone by further violence.

>>36818778
So you think that it's acceptable to just let them get away with it? That will bring more violence into the world.

>>36818810
It would be disrespectful to Ethan to do so were it contrary to his wishes. I expect that he would not endorse that course of action. If the law failed to bring them to justice and Ethan agreed though, it would be reasonable. That's a big if. As I said before, if you or I were to act unilaterally then it would be selfish and scarcely about Ethan at all. He needs to be at the center of it all. We are here to support him.

>>36818736

As soon as you step beside the law, the law can't help you anymore. We don't want more problems, we just want justice.

If things don't work, you're better off altering the media and homo right activists.

>>36818810

Even if you were right, discussing this in the open knowing that there are several independent websites which archive every word we say would not be advisable anyway.

They will get caught. If they're retarded enough to plan such shit, they will get caught.

>>36818736
Revenge does not break what has been broken Dan. This is not the right path. Doing unto them what they did to Dan won't "Teach them a lesson." That is the same thought that leads people to do what they did to Ethan. All this would do is harden the hate in their hearts and make it MORE likely they do this sort of action in the future. All we can do is remove them from the rest of society

http://outofthefog.website/top-100-trait-blog/2015/11/4/lack-of-object-constancy

Object constancy/permanence.

I now believe I have some issues with that, specifically with regards to the past, which I can't quite think of as real, ever since the traumatic events of last November.

>>36818717

Still reading this. It's cute as fuck. And hilarious.

>>36818810
No, it's not acceptable that they evade punishment, but that must come from within the bounds of the law. As difficult as it is, we must resist the temptation to dehumanize those who do evil, lest we lose our own humanity in the process. Any extralegal retribution will only lead everyone involved further from healing.

>>36819029
>events of last November
How did- Oh you meant you. What is it about relationships falling apart in November?

>>36819029
Could you give more details?

>>36819050
Saw it yesterday. Wishing there was more to it

>>36818875
>>36818932
>>36818943
>>36819054

I'm not saying we go out now and burn their houses down. I'm just saying that there is a real possibility that not much will happen and maybe even that they will attack Ethan further if he reports them or they will try to intimidate him into not reporting them. Not something that is unheard of.

It should just be something to consider. I don't know if anyone IRL can help him in this situation, I know you guys are moral, probably much more than me, but law isn't everything. Especially when dealing with minorities.

>>36819067
>What is it about relationships falling apart in November?

It's a shit month.

Just like October.

>>36819077

Every November, I look at the 27th with dread, because that is the day when a classmate of mine killed himself. We were in high school, first year, he was 15.

I never forgot, and every year I think of him.

In 2015, on the 27th, I was holding a school party I had prepared with my students for several months. I was in charge of the hot dogs and other food items, while most kids danced the night away. I teared up silently for my old classmate. The saddest hot dog.jpg.

Exactly a year later, unintended, the 27th became the day my own life ended. Sometimes I believe in fate and destiny, but I then also believe that God wants me suffering or dead.

I keep running away from my problems, as I keep getting older they just keep getting bigger and bigger, and some problems have no solution this instant but is a long process, and I can't wrap my head around that.

Abrupt change of subject, we can't make things better by dwelling, even if it seems callous.

>>36815252
>Had a nice chat to meta last night (I think)

I certainly enjoyed it, but how much do you remember?

Have a depressing moment.

>be me
>living in ruins and trash, formerly a pristine apartment
>time to do laundry, once a month now
>put clothes to dry on shitty hanger thing (one of the defective gifts from my parents)
>put many clothes
>the hanger thing collapses
>I try to prevent its fall, hurt my foot
>clothes fall down on the floor, which hasn't been vacuumed in 2 months
>clothes now covered with wet dust
>desperate rage
>consider hanging myself right that fucking second

I calmed down and found a solution. I have one pair of pants only. I always wear the same fucking pants.

I can't keep up with anything domestically. I used to be an absolute king of housework. I absolutely believe you can tell mental states from house state. Jung also said that, in dreams, houses were very often symbols of oneself.

I dreamt I found LO again, in an attic, hiding from monsters.

>>36819260
Care to list some of those problems?

>>36819111
It is a real possibility. It is entirely possible that they will get away with this completly free. But we shouldn't become that which we hate. If we devolve to their level then we no longer can claim any superiority over them. The best revenge against this type of savagery is to simply recover, and live your life happy. They wanted to "teach him a lesson." If he doesn't become like them then he's won. >>36819260
What kind of problems?

>>36819279
You live similarly to me.

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>>36819269
A lot of the time I was checked out, plus we drank 70cl of vodka before passing out so not much desu. I remember you got into it about religion, there was some edgy racism from one of them. In fact I think you ended up talking to all of them, is that right?

>>36819126
17th for me. Its a rough month.

>>36819285
>They wanted to "teach him a lesson."

I doubt they had education on their mind. They were raging homos who probably hate themselves and projected all that hate onto him.

>>36819308
Only two and you. Do you only remember the cytube conversation?

>>36819304

Every now and then I get the urge to clean, but I'm not always able to do it. I failed everything I meant to do today.

>writing exams for work, undone
>working out, undone

If I don't write those fucking exams I'll be in deep doodoo soon.

I'm gonna get cooking.

>>36819285
Your post is insanely naive. What good is moral superiority when you are bedridden. Sometimes you just have to fight otherwise they don't stop.

>>36819364
No, I know we spoke on the phone. Not entirely sure how, but I know we did.

>>36819304
Haven't vacuumed since I got to uni in September

The carpet in my room is grey and blotchy by design anyway, so I didn't really think about how bad that is until now, whoops

>>36819279
Hey man. Interesting thing about the dreams of houses. I have a recurring dream where I'm in my flat or my parents' house, but there are but there are rooms I've never seen before, or doors that lead to almost secret rooms. Of course I wake up and my flat is exactly the same.

I'd love to see a jungian psychologist to analyse my dreams.

>>36819462

That may mean your unconscious thinks your parents have secrets you're somewhat aware of.

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>>36819279
I often dream I'm back in the house under my parents. I sleep lightly anyway, why stop being afraid just because I'm unconscious

>>36819462
Dream interpretation is very interesting. I always use websites that offer common interpretations. In general, doors symbolize opportunities. Maybe some that you're not taking?

>>36819513
Nick pls my parents aren't narcissists

>>36819543
I think most of my dreams revolve around this issue. Thing is I've sat on the sidelines for so long I don't even know how to take opportunities anymore

>>36819391
What's cooking?

>>36819605
>Thing is I've sat on the sidelines for so long I don't even know how to take opportunities anymore
I don't think it's accurate to think of opportunities as a skill you can forget. You just do things or you don't. It's that simple.

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>>36819605
I'm sorry son, your mother and I are narcissists. Now get off that telebook and make my dinner you little shit.

>>36819342
It wasn't Actual teaching, you know the difference Nick.
>>36819279
Take it one thing at a time Nick. Ask someone you can entrust to come help you. I know you don't want those you know to truly see how bad you're doing, but getting others involved in your life is the best way to work through it.
>>36819393
I'm not saying don't fucking defend yourself. I'm saying don't become a fucking animal with no sense of right and wrong and start assaulting people over your sense of justice. Doing this you become the same type of animal you're after and someone should put you down as well.

>>36819632

I cut onions. One of them has things growing of it, it's literally 20 cm long.

I'm cooking gulash meat in a pan and pasta. I'll add the onions to the gulash and pour that on the pasta, and maybe add some basilic sauce I have in a jar.

>>36819753
You've put me in the mood to cook something a little flashy tomorrow. Today I'll probably just have a grim takeaway since I haven't wanted to leave the house, but tomorrow I'll fix up something proper. There might even be a vegetable.

>>36819663
>Ask someone you can entrust to come help you

No. Nobody's coming in.

I'm trying to be more social. I'm seeing an old friend this week.

>>36819753
>Gulash
FUCK YEAH!

You ever had gulas with dumplings or only pasta? You should try dumplings sometimes, they really go well with it.

>>36819810
Thats good. You need people that care around you, and not just on here.

https://youtu.be/AlFg-FdGEwk?t=4m5s

Enjoy.

Vaporwave is the last thing LO and I discovered together. In the Fall of 2016.

I keep finding her cute things everywhere, when I don't expect to. Instant break down every time.

>look for spices
>find a box
>it has a cute kawai creature holding a carrot
>it says "I heart carrot" with a little heart for the word "heart"
>I die inside
>break down and almost lose balance

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>>36819942
Nick... Fuck

>>36819942
Vaporwave is shit. Kill yourself, you cheating nigger.

>>36820070
Still at it? Why such devotion to someone you obviously dislike?

>>36819791

>add verdura sauce
>decide to add a shot of mustard to the whole thing
>parmigiani cheese, my fav

It tastes delicious. Gluten free pasta, too.

I used to be LO's assistant for cooking. I chopped onions, I loved chopping things.

Now I don't need onions to cry.

>>36819812

I put everything in gulash. Eggs, in purgatoria, that's when they seem to be floating in gulash hell. Vienna sausages chopped in slices, onions, I vary endlessly.

Bought loads of gulash in cans back in the day, when LO and I were happy and counting our calories together.

>>36820117
People whomst cheat on their "loved one" should be burned at the stake

>>36820193
Oh, I see. You've clarified a lot and I appreciate that. I invite you to relate your experience, if you're comfortable with that.

>>36820125
I also enjoy chopping things. Washing up is no fun though. Might try tackling verdura sauce, not sure. My favourite sauce uses chopped tomatoes reduced down over an hour, appropriate herbs and fried garlic, then adding onions and creme fraiche. It comes out quite pink and as such goes well with shellfish over spaghetti.

>>36820193
Looks like you're burning your daki tonight then lad, because I slung one all over her night shirt

>>36819283
>>36819285
I have a rare birth defect that is tanking my self confidence, I'm saving up to get it fixed but I can't save soon enough, which also leads to me believing that my life is dependent on this thing being fixed and I can't go on without it, which leads to me leaving everything I should be doing and stopping every aspect of life in waiting for this thing to be fixed, which lead to the major problem of procrastination, I could be doing great things right now if I follow up with some of my actions, but I never do, I prefer to return the safety of my comfort zone, which I haven't left in years.

>>36820070

The funny thing is that since your intentions are so transparent, your words don't hurt me at all. I chuckled at your effort.

Some vaporwave is amazing. I absolutely love it. The song I linked to directly is great.

I have more if you want.

I think I broke my brain. I can't seem to define words now. Language has no meaning to me. Words feel foreign to me and has lost all meaning. What mental disorder is this

>>36820298
What's the defect? And why do you feel you cannot live a fufilling life without your defect being fixed?

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>>36820193
>People whomst cheat on their "loved one" should be burned at the stake

I don't expect you to understand, but I can't fault you for that thought.

>>36820298
What sort of great things are you interested in doing? Is your birth defect an aesthetic thing or something more limiting?

>>36820245
Luckily I've never been cheated on, so I have nothing to share. I strongly believe in monogamy and despise people whomst practice polygamy without the other knowing.

>>36820255
I don't understand what you're trying to say.

>>36820351
How did you break your brain?

>>36820428
I was asking hard questions then I got a psychotic break now my understanding of language is fucked

>>36820381
Come on, Nick. Don't say things like that. People are sometimes driven to act on urges they can't suppress, like drinking when thirsty. No one would say they should be engulfed by flames for that. Every other behavior is similarly beyond true control, especially the past. Determinism is not without its merits. Viewing things like this can really help you. It is an error of cognition to suppose you could have done otherwise, despite how convincing the illusion is.

>>36820469
How long ago did this happen? How are you still communicating? Have you tried looking up words in a dictionary?

>>36820476
But you drink in order to live. You can live without sticking your shaft into more than one individual.

>>36820351

I remember reading this as a symptom, but I forget for what. It is something, though. Maybe just mental confusion.

>>36820533
Yes Nick fucked up. Yes he ruined possibly the best thing to ever happen to him. But he's suffered enough for his sin. Leave him be. And before you start, yes I DO fucking understand how much hurt that causes. In EVERY SINGLE relationship I've been in I was cheated on.

>>36820428
>despise people whomst practice polygamy without the other knowing.

If that is the reason why you hate me and attack me in many threads, I'll let you do it. I can understand that motive.

>>36820511
This happened 6 months ago. I don't know how I'm still communicating i tried dictionaries but the language is still lost to me docs evaluating me for schizophrenia

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>>36820476
>It is an error of cognition to suppose you could have done otherwise, despite how convincing the illusion is.

I could have. I am fully responsible for my choice.

>>36820580
T.P. is that you?

>>36820589
As long as you understand why I do it.

>>36820600
Odd. I've never heard of anything like this before. I hope you can fix whatever problem you may have.

>>36820639
>As long as you understand why I do it.

Is that the reason, then?

>>36819942
I like you, Nick. I don't know why, but there's something good about you when you dare admit your sensitivity and the fact that you actually care about people.

I cannot say I am the same, but I know virtues when I see them.

>>36820533
Necessity or lack thereof makes no difference. The freedom we feel we have is simply not present upon inspection.

>>36820721

Goes straight to my heart. Thank you.

>>36820639
No idea who you're talking about, but T.F isn't me or any of my screennames

>>36820751
>The freedom we feel we have is simply not present upon inspection.

I don't believe that. I knew I had a choice because I agonised over it for a long time.

>>36820619
Nick, you will have to abandon this type of thinking sooner or later. I know you will eventually, no matter how long it takes. You're too reasonable to persist in torturing yourself over the past. If there is any choice you can make, it is to focus on the present and apply the actions you can take in it toward the betterment of the future. Stay strong.

>>36820809

I'm not sure what the future has in store for me now.

The way things are going, I'll end up in a clinic within 2 months. An absolute mess of a man.

Reason isn't what I follow, I follow my stupid heart.

>>36820807
I know you don't, but that finality of decision that resulted from all that thought was ultimately out of "your" control. There isn't a "you" at all, in fact. Just a pitiable system that hurts itself again and again. You can love it, as you once advised me to love my own twisting, tangled neural forest.

>>36820843
>>36820757

In another way, you frustrate me. I know you're a good person, and that you care about causing good for the world. Why can't you let this woman go, why do you continue to her torment you?

>>36820843
Your heart can be reasoned with if we're determined enough.

>>36820894
The woman isn't tormenting him. There's no doubt that that kind of clinging to a mental image of her and her suffering that produces his own, or at least plays an important role.

>>36820876

My consciousness is me, for better or worse, regardless of how precise that definition is.

>>36820894
>Why can't you let this woman go, why do you continue to her torment you?

The best explanation I can give is that I have cared for her the same way a normal person would their child. She was my family, I can no more break up with her than I could with my son. Sometimes I think I always loved her but things got messed up in my mind and I lost consciousness of certain things. I have no idea what happened sometimes.

>>36820908
>Your heart can be reasoned with if we're determined enough.

I laughed heartily. You can't reason with my heart. It would just say, "I know, and you're right, but it doesn't matter."

My fucking head hurts and life is shit.

>>36820843
>>I follow my stupid heart.
Then maybe you'll listen to this:
You still stay in contact
You still love her
Then what would she think seeing you now? What would seeing you and your home in this state do to her? Despite what you did to her, she still loves you. She hates you for what you did but despite that she still loves you. She wouldn't stay in contact otherwise. What do you think your falling apart is doing to her?

>>36820975
I agree, your consciousness is what you are, but just observing it as it goes about its routines can reveal a stark difference between the volition you believe you have and the truth of the matter.

>>36821011
Sorry to hear that. I'm hungover, so I can all too easily sympathize.

>>36821035

It's making her sad and she's worried about me. She'd like me to move on and let her move on; she said she'd like me to be happy with someone else.

As much as I understand these thoughts, my mental reality is very different from such rational thoughts.

>>36820355
>>36820382
The defect is totally aesthetic, but whatever I do I can't shake the feeling I'm missing something, no matter what I do, I know it isn't that bad and most people who knew about it said it doesn't change anything about me, but still, I go everywhere carrying the feeling that I'm missing something

>>36821134

Do you have a hole in your chest?

lol I knew you all were a bunch of histrionic fags. you were always drooling over each other's cocks and now you have a member that's ERPing a gangrape for attention. lmao tripfags are such cancer

>>36821134
Try to think on whether or not it's true that you're missing something. Are any experiences closed to you because of this? No? So there can't be anything wrong with you. Whatever it is, everything that would've been available to you had you been born differently is still there for the taking.

>>36821177
You should admit to yourself that you actually have no idea whether anything in this thread is true or not. Not sure what any of the rest of your nonsense means.

>>36821110
Did you read what you wrote here? You're not only torturing yourself, but her as well. I'm gonna be tough on you because you need to hear it. Get your goddamn act together. Drowning in your own misery is one thing, but dragging someone with you is wrong Nick. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for her. Let her move on man. Hasn't she suffered enough?

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Also I love how Nick started these threads as if he has any right to proselytize when he's a cheating subhuman that apparently LITERALLY lives in filth and squalor. holy shit lmaoooo

>>36820975
So there's no way you can stop caring for her, you don't think it'll fade over time?

>>36821353
Who's proselytizing? I'm sure you don't even know the meaning of the word.

>>36821388
he's trying to convert you to this little circlejerk cult of pseudo-scientific psychoanalysis garbage, you of course can't see it because you're brainwashed

>>36821416
You are so far from any semblance of correctness that the only appropriate moniker to append to you is "Moron." Don the name and join us for therapy. Unfortunately, your condition is incurable.

>>36821416
Most of us are under professional treatment and gather here to discuss and share. Where is this psuedo-scientific psychoanalysis garbage you speak of?

>>36821312

I know.

>>36821353

I'm not proselytizing anything. And yes, my current living conditions aren't the best, but it won't be like this forever.

Not very classy of you to use everything I give you against me, I hope you realise.

And you can drop the fake laughing thing. It only makes you sound young.

I'll assume you've been cheated on and find it satisfying to attack me for it, as a stand-in for your cheating love.

I am sorry this happened to you.

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>>36821458
fuck dude I've never been so OWNED in my life, omg my psyche is in shambles

>>36821380
>you don't think it'll fade over time?

It's not fading. So no. I cry more and more often. I miss her. My memories of her feel like unreality now and I can't stand this very well.

>>36821485
It's obvious, you needn't have said so.

>>36821416
>he's trying to convert you to this little circlejerk cult of pseudo-scientific psychoanalysis garbage,

I'm not doing that. All the concepts used here are to be found in the DSM, except for CPTSD, which will soon be, but none of that is pseudo-scientific. I rarely try to convince people that one theory is better than another, unless I know it's bullshit; otherwise, everything I use is fairly commonly accepted by the scientific community.

>>36821154
Nope, Poland syndrome

>>36821487
I honestly don't know what to say about that. Have you tried speaking to her about it?

>>36821485

At any rate, I'm glad you speak to us more.

The fact is that I am extremely curious of what your actual resentment is. I suspect it's the cheating thing.

If you ever change your mind and choose to speak, I promise I won't use it against you and will forget all previous offenses.

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>>36821474
Maybe you weren't here in the original threads, but Nick would always harp on some Jung/Freud shit like
>all of your problems start with your parents
like he would literally put as one of his numbered suggestions in the OP
>Tell me anything peculiar about your parents
and then he'd tell everyone the same thing
>>36821475
>Not very classy of you to use everything I give you against me, I hope you realise.
Coming from someone that lives in a trash heap and can't control shoving his meat into any wet hole he encounters, I don't think you get to have any say on "class"

>>36821529
>Poland syndrome

I was right about the chest, though. Testing my telepathy skills. Damn, I didn't even know about this condition. Poland syndrome. Amazing.

Should be easy to fix with some silicon, but yeah, expensive.

I imagine a girl would get used to it fairly quickly.

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I'm in "love" with a close friend. I asked her out a while back and she didn't want to go out with me. She's started going out with someone new recently and it's really eating at me.

Last Friday I posted a very worrying status to FB and she came to check on me at like 3 in the morning (we live in the same building). We've been hanging out a few times since then and we are hanging out again tonight.

I talk to other friends online which helps a little. I was in a serious relationship for three years, and other than dating one girl briefly I've had no intimacy with anyone for more than a year now. I'm starved for affection these days. I want to be close to someone and love them.

I know that this is infatuation, I know that I shouldn't be torturing myself over this. But I do it anyway.

>>36821538
I hate you all for a plethora of reasons.
1. Psychology is a cancer pseudoscience, and stroking each other's egos like you do here is not at all healthy or productive.
2. This "thread" belongs in a chatroom if you're all going to tripfag, namefag, and roleplay instead of on a goddamn imageboard.
3. You personally, I always thought you seemed absolutely irritating and presumptuous, but now that I know you're an actual subhuman I have vindication for my loathing

>>36821475
Ok you know. Now do.
>>36821576
Having fun?

>>36821536

Yes. We both miss each other.

>>36821576
>Maybe you weren't here in the original threads, but Nick would always harp on some Jung/Freud shit like
>all of your problems start with your parents

All, no, but all issues having to do with childhood development have connections with parents or caregivers. This was very much confirmed in the thread. Not saying it's always that way, but I always explore a person's parents. It'd be stupid not to do so.

Freud was wrong on that count, though, but I have explained it before. I don't understand why you don't ask questions if you think someone is BS. I have no problem explaining my positions or admitting ignorance about things I don't know.

>like he would literally put as one of his numbered suggestions in the OP

Yes. Anyone who thinks nothing of a person's upbrining must have no education in child psychology and development. I assume you don't know much about the subject, so you can only take my word for it: it matters a shitload.

>>36821576
>Coming from someone that lives in a trash heap and can't control shoving his meat into any wet hole he encounters, I don't think you get to have any say on "class"

That's not how it unfolded, but I'll still give you a "oh snap, it burns."

>>36821649
There are only 2 real cures for infatuation. Finding someone else to fawn over, or spending so much time around a person that you lose the "idolized" version of them

>>36821662
>Having fun?
Actually yes, letting you all know how much I wish you would leave the board or kill yourself is refreshing. You all really are cancerous parasitic wastes of oxygen

>>36821650
>1. Psychology is a cancer pseudoscience, and stroking each other's egos like you do here is not at all healthy or productive.

Except it's not. There is bullshit out there, as with any science, but it's not hard to see what's bullshit and what isn't. If psychology was bullshit, it couldn't make accurate predictions about human behaviour, yet it does. Do you have any concrete examples in mind?

>>36821650
>2. This "thread" belongs in a chatroom if you're all going to tripfag, namefag, and roleplay instead of on a goddamn imageboard.

Just like you belong in a thread you like, not here, yet you're here, so what gives? Nobody gives a fuck about any of this. It's not like there's limited space on this board and you need it for another thread. A chatroom functions differently, and the same conversations wouldn't be had if we could post directly, as you know.

>>36821650
>3. You personally, I always thought you seemed absolutely irritating and presumptuous, but now that I know you're an actual subhuman I have vindication for my loathing

It's not just the cheating then. You're one of the few I irritate, but the reasons for that lie in you more than they do in myself. Tell me more about that.

>>36821747
Well as long as you're having fun I suppose you're not completly wasting your time. As long as you know we'll still be here every day when you finally need us.

>>36821747
>Actually yes, letting you all know how much I wish you would leave the board or kill yourself is refreshing. You all really are cancerous parasitic wastes of oxygen

As opposed to you, a breath of fresh air in a world of farts. Thank you for your positivity and kind words, we'd all be very sad without you.

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>>36821793
>Thank you for your positivity and kind words, we'd all be very sad without you.
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

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>>36821747
:))))))))))

;))))))))))))))

:OOOOOOOOOOOO

M; p ju kioki

>>36821839
>Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

Hate that one. Gimme one more round of, "Better to have loved and lost than never have loved," which is even more bullshit than yours.

Funny mcnuggies though.

>>36821873
She's hot, sir.

Despite my residual hangover and the shadow of current events, I'm feeling good today, guys. I wish you all the best.

>>36821962

Are you leaving us?

>>36821968
Nah, just felt like saying that since it's such a rarity.

>>36821962
Thanks meta

>>36822010

OK, I'm glad you feel this way.

I am 21 years old and I love a girl ten years more young.

*age of consent in Argentina is 13 but I want to she have 15, idk wat do now

>>36822196

She's 11?

I work with kids that age, that's way too young, my friend. She's a child, you're an adult.

How come you love someone this young?

>>36822218
Third world is most sexualized.

>>36821202
Maybe you're right, I've been inside my head for so long now I don't know how else to even begin to think differently, I should go down this new road ...

>>36822261

Mmm... OK, but still, she is 11, with the mentality of a child, you're 21. Would you say you are yourself somewhat immature?

Were you abused when you were a child?

>>36821626
I'm a boy so it isn't that big of a deal, can't imagine what a girl would go through, but yeah good psychic skills there.

Just talking about it relieved me so much, thanks.

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>>36822352

Very welcome. If you have more to share, I'm all ears.

Is there any reason I had to be born as a male if I hate it?

Like seriously, who thought it was a good idea?

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>>36822444
Why am I empty? I thought it was because I was becoming neet and not moving forward with my life. Now I have an internship in my field, and a possible job prospect after the internship ends. Only two classes this summer away from getting this stupid piece of paper. So why do I still feel empty?

>>36822555
>Is there any reason I had to be born as a male if I hate it?

Trips.

Is there any reason you had to hate being male?

>>36822565
>So why do I still feel empty?

Because you're like my post: single.

>>36822618
I can't:

- Be pretty
- Be Cute
- Attractive
- Have a bunch of attention, love and all for nothing.
- Feel awesome, feel pretty, feel attractive
- Live life on Easy Modo
- Be in the opposite role instead of the shittiest one.
- No guys will make me feel special cause I'm a male. No guys will flirt with me and tell me I'm cute, pretty and good looking and all that crap.
- Wear female clothings
- Wear lolita fashion
- Have a female voice
- Do amazing cosplay


I'm a male, a bulky, built, impossible-to-become-a-trap type of male. I'm repulsive, I have no love, I have no self esteem, I am not special, I am a waste of a man when I could've been such a phenomenally wonderful female.

I know this list is short but if I have to go on with it I will.

>>36822638
I had thought that too at first. But it's not that either far as I can tell. I don't know what I'm missing, all I know is I'm lost

>>36822788

Sounds like you hate yourself as much as you hate women.

Since when have you wanted to change sex?

>>36822845

I was a little child, probably like 4-5 years old, I'd always role-play with the other kids as a female. It felt right to me, until I reached a certain age where it would cause cringe and questions, I hid it and pretended to be a real dude.

I hate myself endlessly. I often have suicide fantasies, I'd say every single day I fantasize about dying.

>>36822833

Therapy time.

>>36822879

Other symptoms? Do you have a strong sense of your own identity?

>>36822916
I guess. Wish I could afford that right now.

>>36822982
I do.. but it depresses me, because no matter how much I know who / what I am, I'm still not 'it' at the end of the day. I spend most of my days sleeping my life away so I don't have to experience this depressing reality.

>>36822982
Nick, I have a question,
what does one's identity entail?

About to collapse with exhaustion. Must go.

All my love.

>>36823217

It's how you think of yourself, all of it.

>>36823265
Take care Nick. See you around next thread

>>36823265
>It's how you think of yourself, all of it.
and what do I think of myself, I don't know

Looks like everyone left. What to do with an empty thread?

>>36823813
Reveal your plans to destroy your rivals, usurp Nick and declare yourself Big Nick

>>36823813
Exactly like an empty room,
alone, cold and with nothing to do
you could actually do whatever but you don't

>>36823890
>rivals
Closest I have to a rival is a state away because her dog of 15 years had to be put down yesterday.
>>36823898
That's exactly what I'm doing now

My head hurts a lot and it's also midnight
what am I even doing awake, am I waiting for something?

>>36823974
Try to sleep.

>>36824026
part of me wants to, the other part doesn't,
maybe I should just end this day and go to bed

>>36824063
I know what you mean. In the kind of mood where nothing is very appealing.

Fuck it, I'm going to bed,

hopefully I will wake up feeling good and not completely ill.
Goodnight

>>36824168
Sleep well Dram