Anyone else teetering on the edge right now?

>>36813519
Yes, it has become a constant battle to find any reason at all to live.

>>36813576
I can browse this site while feeling miserable all the time yet can't even motivate myself to watch a single episode of anime

>>36813687
I haven't watched anime since I was in high school. But I also don't watch movies or television shows or anything at all. I don't really give a fuck about anything anymore.

>>36813519
Yes OP.
Please dont remind me.

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Only in relation to other people and society, other then that I'm pretty dandy.

>>36813576
You must keep your head up, if there's one thing you do fight for, it's securing the survival of the bleached race. It needs your help

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>>36813519
>tfw hear voices as I go anywhere but my room
>tfw confined to my room by schizophrenia
>tfw parents drag me outside to get activity and ask me why I always look so terrified
I don't understand why this is happening to me.

>>36813519
Right here man. I've lost almost all ambition, I've fallen into despair. The only reason I have not killed myself is my parents.

>>36814883
Think this might be happening to me, anon. I can't tell. When I was a kid I would hear voices. It went away when I was 9 or 10 though. I don't hear voices anymore but now I have odd behaviors and thoughts and only occasionally do I realize how insane they are. I don't trust the water and avoid drinking it, I wear the same two outfits everyday, I literally believe im constantly being watched and listened to by everyone else. I believe my thoughts are being read by those around me. I look insane. I forgot how to make facial expressions. I'm incapable of it, I'll sit in the mirror for hours and try but I'm unsure if im doing it right. i leave my room only to go to work. If I have a day off, I won't leave my room even once.

The biggest indicator is how other people react to me. People avoid me like the plague, they seem creeped out by me or disgusted. No one bothers me, at work I can be 40 mins late and they don't say anything, when I talk to people they get nervous, their eyes start watering, they look all stressed out or disturbed. I don't know why. I feel like what I'm saying is fine but clearly something's wrong.

>accused of sexual abuse
>lost job
>probably gonna get arrested very soon
>life is in disarray
>still have to pretend everything is ok with family so they dont get upset
I dont know what to do help me pls

I am past the edge. I've been eating insects. It tastes like cannibalism. I might hide down in the cellar and eat insects for as long as I can. I'm already fine sleeping with bed bugs so I guess this was the next step. I feel like I relate to insects more than humans and I like the way they feel. I feel like an insect. I want to become their leader and to sleep where they sleep. I want to become a human insect. When I see insects now I see family. I will eat them but I really want to follow them and the lead them to the promised land. Am I weird?

I just hurt my back again can't feel like legs my ass my back or chest. I'm close to just taking cyanide.

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>>36813797
Idk man anime is all I have left that makes me happy besides piano. Idk what I'd do without it.

>>36813519
Yeah, but won't put my parents through the pain of losing me. They are good parents, they don't deserve that kind of anguish.

>>36815614
.....Yeah, we're gonna need to know what happened.

>>36813519
No, I'll probably never kill myself. I feel that my life might change if I live long enough.

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>>36815614
What happened, exactly? Who were you accused of abusing?

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Couldn't put my parents through it all. Just want to fucking end it though, not even seriously depressed I just dont see the point in living. I dont believe in myself or others or think that there is any special reason to live or any special thing that I can have in my life to make it worth living.

>>36815614
D-Did you do it anon?

>>36815919
You're a good man

Bloxxxxx

>>36815715
I've recently just began to torture and kill animals. Dogs in the street, a few cats and deliberately killed a couple of wild foxes. Visit to the petshop next. I just either let them starve, drive over them, or strangle and drown them. I'm starting to berate and insult random women as well. Calling them whores, spitting at them, throwing random objects at women who I pass by. I make sure they can't get me though.

>>36815919
If you're at the point of wanting to kill yourself, then they weren't good parents.

>>36816304
That's an incredibly immature way to look at life.
>>36816200
I wouldn't post that here.
>>36815614
Don't post any details if you're gonna be under investigation.

>>36815990
There isn't. If you've got to the stage where you're currently at, then ask yourself - "have you led a fine life up until now?".

Don't you see that you have become detached from lifes material possessions?

>>36816399
Why should I set aside my own happiness for other people just because I'm a combination of their dna.

> Severe depression, paranoia, anxiety and am on the autism spectrum
> Attempted suicide three years ago via Helium/exit bag
> Got a diluted tank + attempt was interrupted by me jolting awake due to a nearby car accident
> Slight brain damage as a result
> Have a slight slur/stutter, I walk a little funny, and I speak faster than I think, so there's tons of awkward pauses and I often lose my train of thought

I'm planning on a second, successful attempt. Locating good helium/inert gases is extremely tough.

>>36816304
Nah, they are definitely good parents, my sister is doing just fine (better than fine). I just suck at life and I get progressively worse and worse as time goes on. No ones fault but my own.

>>36816488
your young