I am a sex god

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Alright.

Are you Seth Green or close friends with him?

>>36774975
No, i am not seth green. Would you like me to set a curse upon him shriveling his dick to the size of a raisin, and make his testicles disappear so he can not reproduce?

>>36774914

How do I cure my impotence.

>>36774914
is mcdonalds ok for sex?

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>>36775400
200mg Korean ginseng every day for 3 weeks.
50mg of zinc twice a day every day for 2 weeks.
drink plenty of water, and do kegel exercises for 2 hours a day. in the morning and in the evening before sleep
Purchase a prostate massager and massage your prostate for an hour or two a day every other 3 days. for 3 weeks.
balance your electrolytes by getting potassium, sodium, magnesium, and phosphorus, and calcium in your diet.
eat lots of green vegetables and chicken and/or fish, yogurt, and walnuts.
BRUSH YOUR TEETH 2 times a day! This one is important
Do 10 push ups every hour for 3 weeks
and get plenty of fresh air and vitamin D
Purchase a goat from your local farm, and drain its blood and smear your penis with the blood, and write on the wall "sex god bless me".

Your dick will be hard as diamonds.

>>36775659
as a location or a food item? Because the answer is no. Do not eat mcdonalds. High sodium, high sugar. kills the libido, and raises blood pressure making it difficult to achieve full firm erections. and your semen will taste bad.

How do I get a one night stand without downloading tinder?

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>>36775922

So you swallow blokes cum after they've had a fatty McDonalds meal?

Not something I'd do... but if your into that...

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>>36776015
I am the god of sex, not personality, so my advice is not golden, like my urine. You must leave your home.. That is all.
Once that is achieved, find a female, and engage in friendly banter with her. Signal with a suggestive comment that you would like to smash. If she wants you to smash, she will give you her phone number.

I didnt get to be the sex god by talking to girls. Im not very good at that sort of thing. Girls just generally see me and drop their pants and bend over as im walking near them.

>>36776034
i dont do that. but i know a guy that does.

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>>36776127

Yeah yeah sure you do.

And my dad works at Nintendo and I can play the new Xbox early but nobody can see it since he'll lose his job otherwise.

Weak thread.

>>36776143
i am just here to give advice about sex.

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>>36776176

> giving advice on sex on /r9k/

Where the fuck do you think you are?

Also, giving advice based off "Some guy I know" isn't the best advice.