Psychological Issues #52

>>36773599
Hey not Nick!

Dan invited me round so I'm gonna go in a little bit, but I dont want to catch feelings for him,

How do I stop that from happening?

I also only did 6k of my 10k diss and handed it in late too. Am I fucked?

>>36773701
Sorry for my ignorance, but I don't really know your story. Can you quickly tell me who this dan is to you? Sorry again

>>36773599
>Nick will not be with us today, he has been banned
Serves that armchair psychologist faggot right. How long is it this time?

>>36773722
That sounds like 6/10 credit to me

>>36773722
That certainly doesn't sound good, but it's not the end of the world, hope it turns out well for you

>>36773599
Thanks for opening Ethan, archive diving on mobile is hell!

>>36773757
Another 24 hours. He's a good person, really

>>36773757
I know right? Which is why I'm asking for a shortened version of bens story instead of going through the archive (sorry Ben!)

Ethan, have you realized Facet was right and gone full DID?
Or is this just until Nick gets unbanned?

>>36773793
He may mean well, but he does more harm than good.

>>36773757
Come talk with us. What's bothering you?

>>36773822
>>36773787
Oops meant for hero, didn't mean to agree with what he said about nick

>>36773747
sure no problem

>be 18 and a fag
>fall too hard for a boy
>he feigns interest in me
>we do stuff too quickly then pars me off
>get emotional and still not fully over it because he was my first
>got tinder last week as per housemates request
>match with a boy i've been crushing on for two years now (im 20 now)
>we talk and thinks go good
>go to his
>i'm enjoying myself, feel happiness for the first time in months
>he all of a sudden says that hes going overseas next month
>i say oh wow, i'm moving cities for work so no biggie
>he clarifies hes going for the whole summer
>i'm hopefully graduating this year so i wont be at uni
>feel bad because that short lived happiness was shattered just as fast as i felt it

>dont talk for a couple days
>messages me while im doing my diss
>keeps me entertained
>invited me round today
>i say sure

but i dont want to fall head over heels for him like i did the last guy

what do

>>36773771
ha i wish

>>36773779
thanks for the positivity

>>36773831
Just until nick gets unbanned

Gonna go now but i'll be lurking on my phone when i can

thanks for any advice in advance guys, you dont know how much of a help you all are

>>36773882
I do. You go do you irl

I don't want to call the stupid hotline because they'll SWAT me, so I guess I'll post here.

I'm already seeing a therapist, but it's never helped anything, and all she ever does for me is tell me she's "grasping at straws" and "doesn't know how to help me" It's really made me feel even more hopeless, but I'm afraid every other therapist would be the exact same, because she's stated she's spoken to her peers about me, and all of them know fuck-all how to help. I used to be on medication, for years in fact. My parents put me on prozac sometime before I was ten, I don't know exactly when. But it never worked well enough, because I was always miserable. All it did was make me placated enough to never realize the ever rising problems in my life, and the fact I was missing out on everything. So I know medication doesn't work either.

My question is; where do I go from here? If neither therapy, nor meds work for me. I'm going to commit suicide soon. I even have a date picked out. But I really don't want to. I just want to be happy, or even just not miserable and alone all the time. I know I'm not going to able to find any excuses not to do it this time, though. Everything I try is failing. I don't know how to escape this any other way. This got way longer than intended, sorry.

Hey, everyone. Just woke up and can't think fluidly, but I hope you're all having a good day.

>>36773919
>It's really made me feel even more hopeless, but I'm afraid every other therapist would be the exact same, because she's stated she's spoken to her peers about me, and all of them know fuck-all how to help.
Doesn't have to mean much, maybe she just knows other therapists who are near her level skill-wise. I wouldn't give up on therapy just yet.

>>36773919
>My question is; where do I go from here? If neither therapy, nor meds work for me. I'm going to commit suicide soon. I even have a date picked out. But I really don't want to. I just want to be happy, or even just not miserable and alone all the time. I know I'm not going to able to find any excuses not to do it this time, though. Everything I try is failing. I don't know how to escape this any other way. This got way longer than intended, sorry.
Don't be sorry. But first things first, what exactly is your therapist unable to handle? Sorry but I'm not Nick and can't remember everyone.

>>36773862
Thank you for catching me up.

>but i dont want to fall head over heels for him like i did the last guy

Is there no chance of seeing him after he comes back from the summer? I do think that that you shouldn't get too attatched if you won't see each other again, but if you reconnect after the summer, then you can try again. Since you matched on tinder after you already knew each other (or am I reading into that wrong?) then he must feel the same way about you a little bit at least. Just give it time and see what happens between you, everything should be natural. Hope for the best. Sorry if you've heard this all already from Nick. Good luck!

>>36773941
By shitposter-anon spamming reports probably.

>>36773941
Evading the robot by typing "raviolo" at the end of a post

>>36773919
Can you describe in as much detail the feeling you're attempting to rid yourself of?

>>36773996
>(or am I reading into that wrong?)
were in different years so we knew of eachother but didnt know eachother well

actually, thats a new viewpoint
thanks ethan

>>36773941
>origami
Watch out, you could be next...

>>36774019
Oh, that's just a short ban I think. No biggie. He still can talk to people on email.

>>36774014
Yeah probably a combination of these. I mean many people do what Ethan said >>36774019 but if someone is reporting you constantly, they ban you.

>>36773862
Well if you feel you're falling for him, depending on the friendship you share, be open with him and tell him. I'd wait until he's back after the trip to tell him however. Let it cool off while he's away, see if you still feel the same after he comes back.

>>36773919
>all she ever does for me is tell me she's "grasping at straws" and "doesn't know how to help me"

Can you get a different therapist at all? I wouldn't believe what she says about her colleagues not being able to help, I imagine they'd at least probably try and not be lazy like she is in telling you she "just can't help".

>My question is; where do I go from here? If neither therapy, nor meds work for me. I'm going to commit suicide soon

Don't. As I said, if you think your therapist isn't working for you, try to see if you can get a new one. What does she find so difficult about your case in the first place?

>>36774038
>were in different years so we knew of eachother but didnt know eachother well

I understand, completely the same situation with my boyfriend. My point still stands though, if he liked you on tinder or whatever (I don't know how tinder works) then he must have meant something by it, it would be weird to do that for someone you see around often, but not do anything about it. He might be feeling a similar way to you

>>36773981
I really hope that's the case. I'm in a shitty area for it, and there aren't many therapy places around me. So finding someone else is difficult.

>>36773986
I've never posted in these threads before, so I'd be surprised if you remembered me, it's alright. She can't figure out anyway to help me out of whatever's wrong with me, I guess. Depression, would be the main issue, I guess. It feels like she hasn't even tried anything though. I've heard in therapy there's supposed to be homework assignments, and things that are more scientific based, like methods to help with certain things. All she's done is sympathize with me, and cry. I feel like a therapist isn't supposed to break into tears about stuff.

>>36774020
Loneliness? Hopelessness? I feel like I can't do anything right, never have, and never will. I feel like there's nothing good about me, from my appearance to my intellect, I have no potential to do anything right in the future, and life is just going to SOMEHOW get worse. I feel like it would be better if I stopped it now, rather than suffer through the rest of it. Even if what comes after is nothingness.

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>>36774062
>shitposter tries to prevent thread by removing Nick
>thread still happens
>hfw

>>36774109
I'm trying to see a different person. It's difficult in my area. I feel like we're a terrible match-up. She has all these dead relatives and can't stop talking with them, had a son my age that died, a nephew that killed himself the other day, and more. A lot of the time, I feel like I'M the therapist, because we spend a lot of time talking about her family. And I feel like an insensitive selfish person, because I don't want to do that when I'm seeing a therapist.

>>36774222
Trips. What would it take to make you feel good about yourself? How much of a change towards the positive is necessary in each of those traits to enable you to value yourself? I relate to what you're experiencing, by the way.

>>36774222
>I really hope that's the case. I'm in a shitty area for it, and there aren't many therapy places around me. So finding someone else is difficult.
Yeah, but if you don't try, there will come a day when living with your problems is going to be much more difficult than finding a different therapist.

>>36774231
Poor bastard can't catch a break, can he? Foiled at every turn.

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>>36774222
>I really hope that's the case. I'm in a shitty area for it, and there aren't many therapy places around me. So finding someone else is difficult.

>I've never posted in these threads before, so I'd be surprised if you remembered me, it's alright. She can't figure out anyway to help me out of whatever's wrong with me, I guess. Depression, would be the main issue, I guess. It feels like she hasn't even tried anything though. I've heard in therapy there's supposed to be homework assignments, and things that are more scientific based, like methods to help with certain things. All she's done is sympathize with me, and cry. I feel like a therapist isn't supposed to break into tears about stuff.
>Loneliness? Hopelessness? I feel like I can't do anything right, never have, and never will. I feel like there's nothing good about me, from my appearance to my intellect, I have no potential to do anything right in the future, and life is just going to SOMEHOW get worse. I feel like it would be better if I stopped it now, rather than suffer through the rest of it. Even if what comes after is nothingness.
This sounds like severe depression. You sound a lot like my internal monologue when I'm at my worst. A therapist SHOULD be able to help, but she doesn't sound professional to me.
Pic reated, my reaults in one of Nick's famous tests.

>>36774289
>A lot of the time, I feel like I'M the therapist, because we spend a lot of time talking about her family. And I feel like an insensitive selfish person, because I don't want to do that when I'm seeing a therapist.

I feel bad saying it after you mentioned her dead relatives, but she sounds like a terrible therapist. If she needed one herself she should see one instead of talking to you about it during your sessions.

>>36774222
>Depression, would be the main issue, I guess. It feels like she hasn't even tried anything though

Considering she can't help with one of the most common mental problems faced by therapists' clients, this shows again how ineffective she is.

>All she's done is sympathize with me, and cry.

I feel bad for saying this, but stop seeing her. She's obviously doing you no good at this point

>>36774315
Exactly! Despite his best efforts and intricate plans, we're still here.

>>36774353
A crushing defeat like that could be traumatizing. He should really come in for therapy.

>>36774353
>>36774387
I just hate nick, I don't care about you fucks. Stop acting so smug.

>>36774353
I've got to be careful not to evade the robot myself now so I won't get banned.

Not that it would stop us

>>36774406
Why do you hate Nick when he helps so many people?

>>36774406
Well, want to be a pal and tell us why? I'll drop the smugness if you'll satisfy my curiosity.

>>36773599
Huh, this is going to be interesting. How are you Ethan?

>>36774291
I've asked myself that question actually. What would it take for me to be happy. I've entertained my wildest fantasy, and I still wasn't happy in it. Even if I find a girl that can stand me, friends, a good job, I can only see myself as miserable. Being happy seems too unrealistic. Like a kid's fantasy. No wonder she doesn't know how to help me.

>>36774326
It's constant. There's a constant voice in my head yelling at me about everything I'm doing and have ever done wrong. It's gotten so bad it's like it's not even me. I have no control over it.

>>36774343
That's what my parents say too. And it's what I've come to as well. I'll definitely try to find someone else now. I feel bad though. I don't want to leave and make her feel worse, like she'd feel like she wasn't good enough or something. I know that's probably silly.

>>36774441
Well enough. How are you?

>>36774406
So why do you hate Nick?

>stop acting so smug
Does it sting, to know all that effort was for nothing and we're still here?

>>36774455
I'm doing pretty good since I've given up.

>>36774432
>he helps so many people
That's debatable

>>36774470
Do you read? I don't mind you people posting.

>>36774496
Do you want to talk to us?

Nicky, what do you do in life when you know you're a useless piece of shit and there's also nothing in life or the future that you're interested in. Then what do you do when you don't wanna kill yourself because it's such a selfish act?

>>36774470
>>36774440
>>36774432
Why give him all this attention? You guys should know better than this. If he really wants help, he will eventually come on his own. I know this, because about a year ago I would shitpost and derail all Nicks threads into submission, just like him.

>>36774474
Given up what? You were posting some strange things last thread and I remember no one responded.

>>36773599
>he has been banned

How did that happen?

>>36774454
>I know that's probably silly.

Definitely not. I would feel exactly the same way, believe me. If she isn't already, recommend she see a therapist herself. If you don't really want to hurt her feelings you could pretend and say that she's really helped, and that you feel you won't need her sessions even more, then see someone else

>Being happy seems too unrealistic. Like a kid's fantasy. No wonder she doesn't know how to help me.

Is there nothing that brings you joy currently? I know you say happiness seems unattainable but it can seem that way at first. What do your fill your spare time with?

>>36774514
Has he hurt you? Was your ego so inflated and he popped it with a few posts? Is this just irrational bullshit?

>>36774454
>It's constant. There's a constant voice in my head yelling at me about everything I'm doing and have ever done wrong. It's gotten so bad it's like it's not even me. I have no control over it.
Sounds like extreme depression.
>I feel bad though. I don't want to leave and make her feel worse, like she'd feel like she wasn't good enough or something. I know that's probably silly
No it's not at all silly. Shows that deep down you're at LEAST a decent person.
>>36774410
They could ban us all, we'd still be here because there is nowhere else for us

>>36774520
It's harmless and possibly even a good thing if it gets him to introspect.

>>36774474
What do you mean by that? Talk to me about it

>>36774546
I was talking about myself actually...

>>36774520
Also, why did you do that?

>>36774530
The strange things were for fun. I wanted to see if others would notice.

I've given up on trying to be better, or to try anything.

>>36774552
>It's harmless and possibly even a good thing if it gets him to introspect.
Sounds good in theory, but I think it really won't. As I said, I acted very similarly to him and eventually it was me who made myself introspect, not anything anyone has said to me.

But as you said, it's harmless. Just don't expect much to come of it, that's my guess.

>>36774510
No, talk amongst yourselves.

>>36774541
Because he says the exact same thing over and over and over again, and The Robot doesn't like that.

>>36774559
Oh, would you like to talk to me about it? If so, could you adopt a name? Unless you want to keep your anonymity of course.

>>36774559
>>36774514

Sorry, I ignored your post because I too thought you were talking about Nick. Unfortunately he's not here right now

>Then what do you do when you don't wanna kill yourself because it's such a selfish act?

If you believe killing yourself is selfish that must mean you care about having an impact on something or someone. What is it?

>what do you do in life when you know you're a useless piece of shit and there's also nothing in life or the future that you're interested in

Absolutely nothing? Surely there's something you have to strive for. What's your situation in life right now if you don't mind me asking?

>>36774454
I relate to this as well, but there's a marked difference between what can be extrapolated from your current state and what those things actually feel like. The advice others have given about finding a new therapist is good. I honestly hope you find proper help and feel better.

>>36774555
I've given up on life. I'm not going to kill myself or anything. I'm just not going to try anymore.

Anyway, today in uni went pretty smooth, we showed progress on the group project and went home early, then I played Zelda until now.

How are you all doing?

>>36774559
Don't take it too personally, rampant shitposter afoot.
>>36774514
You should get help. That state of constant pessimism and self-loathing isn't how your brain SHOULD be operating. It means that you're probably depressed but should see someone to make sure.

>>36774642
Not as good as that sounds.
Who am I kidding, university sounds terrible. I'd be dead in a week.

>>36774638
>I've given up on life. I'm not going to kill myself or anything. I'm just not going to try anymore.

I saw someone say the exact same thing, and it didn't end well. Thinking that way isn't healthy. Why don't you care anymore? Is there nothing you want to achieve or move towards in your life?

>>36774642
I'm well. I've been feeling better lately.

>>36774625
Call me Jeff if you want.

Family is the main reason why I wouldn't kill myself, younger brother and sister that kinda look up to me. Brother actually lives with me.

And for something to strive for, I don't see anything that I would want to do or become, I have zero interest.

>>36774660
Why? what are you studying?

>>36774700
nice to hear

>>36774674
I don't see the point in caring. It doesn't hurt if I don't care.

I don't want anything out of life anymore. I will truly be happy if I give everything up.

>>36774574
Well back then Nick usually started fitness threads. This was before all the shit went down with him, I think that time was when Nick was very happy.

On the contrary I was at that time very unhappy, constantly angry, drunk or both. Angry at everything really, suicidal, black and white thinking (Chad or dead). So seeing someone who praised self-improvement and who actually got some tangible results was like a red cloth to a bull for me. That someone else was doing what I wasn't and succeeding. Improving his life. Yeah I derailed the shit out of his threads. I never reported him though and as Nick has said before, I wasn't vile, just raw and angry.

Of course now I still sometimes go back to this way of thinking and get insanely, but I'd like to think it's an exception rather than a rule.

>>36774638
Is that even possible? You're mustering the effort to post, at least.

>>36774738
I'm going to live. I'm doing the minimum.

>>36774542
>recommend she sees a therapist

I think she is actually seeing a therapist. I don't know how much good it's doing though, considering.

>what do you fill your spare time with

I try to learn things. I draw, animate, play piano, learn languages, work out. I used to watch youtube sometimes, and cartoons and stuff, but I just feel like that's wasting too much time now. Like I'm just being a lazy piece of trash. I end up wasting even more time being sad, though.

>>36774547
I've never been a bad person. At least not on purpose. I'm trying to be meaner, because then I don't think people will be able to bother me so much. I feel like I must've done something to deserve all of this though. Like there's so much bad stuff that's happened, I must have it coming somehow. Maybe I was a murderer in a past life or something. I know all that's stupid. But it's hard not to feel that way sometimes.

>>36774637
Thank you. Me too.

>>36774715
>Call me Jeff if you want.

Would you like to put it in the name field? I have horrible memory and this is my first time doing this, it would help me keep track.

>Family is the main reason why I wouldn't kill myself, younger brother and sister that kinda look up to me. Brother actually lives with me. And for something to strive for, I don't see anything that I would want to do or become, I have zero interest.


Does your brother look up to you? If you are close to him and are living for your family then being someone he can look at and be proud he's related to would be a good thing to strive for. If you don't want to better yourself for yourself, do it for him

>>36774738
Jeff here, it doesn't take much effort to type or watch something etc. For example I have the motivation to walk to the shop to buy a litre of vodka, I wouldn't necessarily call that effort?

>>36774735
What caused the alteration in your thinking? Having seen some of your posts in these threads, I'm aware of your potential to relapse. I am very interested in your case, as it's a puzzle to me how best to rectify maladaptively over-general thought processes.

>>36774730
I can kinda respect it, remids me of a monks lifestyle. However, it still doesn't sound completely right to me. If you're sure your lifestyle works, then you do you, but I don't want anything bad happening because of it

>>36774791
Different things are inconvenient to people to different degrees. Typing and posting is actually very stressful for me personally.

>>36774789
Not lurked enough here I guess. I think we see each other as mates more than brothers. I wouldn't say he looks up to me, he has said it's the best place he's lived in the past but I know it may be due to me threatening to find a new place to live on my own.

>>36774836
I can't promise nothing bad will come, because of it, but I see it kind of like a monk's lifestyle too.

>>36774768
>I try to learn things. I draw, animate, play piano, learn languages, work out.

I do the exact same actually. If you enjoy these things, then focus on them. You will be enjoying yourself while simultaneously honing your skills. You might even get good enough at something to make a job out of it, and as they say, if you enjoy your job, you'll never have to work a day in your life

>>36774730
Desiring desirelessness, a Buddhist's bane.

>>36774866
>I can't promise nothing bad will come, because of it,

I don't like the sound of that. If it's your choice, it's your choice, but try not to be apathetic enough as to let your lifestyle threaten your health

>>36774900
The only thing I will want is food, water, and shelter. I can entertain myself. It's not to the point of Buddhist monks, but I'm trying something similar.

>>36774852
>I think we see each other as mates more than brothers.

Still, if he's close enough to you to not want to see you being so depressed, then try being better to make him feel better, and who knows, you might actually end up feeling better yourself

>>36774913
That's actually the one thing I am worried about.

>>36774956
Think I do enough putting a roof over him, and letting him take advantage of everything I purchase? Then again one night I did get blind drunk and apparently I punched him, like full force. So if I drink at home I just stay in my own room now, to avoid that.

>>36774974
>That's actually the one thing I am worried about.

At least you care about your well-being, that's a good sign. Makes me a lot less stressed about what you're doing

>>36774811
>Having seen some of your posts in these threads
Yeah one of the times here, it was just like the "good" old times. I remember insulting Charlie among others.

About the alternation. I don't know. This depends on the kind of thought-processes you have. I'm gonna name some of the ones I've had. Actually it might be an interesting project to make kind of FAQ for bad thought processes, how to identify them, what causes them and reasons to stop them. I think if we pool our experiences together, this can absolutely done as we're all kinds of fucked up in the head here.

>Overgeneralization
A very simple one. Drawing general conclusions from isolated incidents. More dangerous form is when you use statistics to justify these overgeneralizations while ignoring some important facts. Like with divorce statistics ignoring that some people get divorced many times. So if you have 10 people, but 5 divorces, these 5 divorces might be just from 2 out of these 10, not 5. Just an example.

>Perfectionism
This is a subset of black-and-white thinking. You use this as a justification for inactivity. You're inactive either due to laziness or tendency to self-harm. I believe it can be a form of self-harm to do nothing, justify it by never being able to get the perfect result and thus missing out on life. The solution for me was to strive for perfection but settle for the best result I can get, because it will still be great.

As I said there is many. I might write up some others.

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Haha retards

>>36775033
Well, I thought about starving myself to discipline myself, but that may not be the best course of action. Especially since I'm super skinny.

>>36775025
>Think I do enough putting a roof over him, and letting him take advantage of everything I purchase?

I didn't mean doing things for him, I meant doing things for yourself. He obviously cares about you so I'm sure he wants to see you happy.

>Then again one night I did get blind drunk and apparently I punched him, like full force

Was he very angry at that? If not, then that's also a good sign, he cares enough to be quick to forgive you, and not keep any bad blood between the two of you

>>36775054
I feel personally addressed by this.

>>36775074
>Well, I thought about starving myself to discipline myself, but that may not be the best course of action. Especially since I'm super skinny.

I definitely wouldn't. If you're already skinny it shows you have control enough not to gorge yourself, there's no need for fasting to prove discipline.

>>36775054
You should get a name. I'll name you if you like.

>>36775053
This is a good idea. I'll contribute if I think of anything (highly unlikely, as a cogent thought is an oasis in my nigh barren mental landscape)

>>36775122
That's the funny part, I do eat a bunch. I just burn it off fast.

>>36775054
Why is wendy's popular suddenly? I'm always late on internet trends

>>36775145
Just call me daddy.

>>36775171
>That's the funny part, I do eat a bunch. I just burn it off fast.

As long as you're a healthy weight then everything's fine, nothing wrong with eating lots if you burn it off

>>36775187
Silly Ethan. That's Anne of Green Gables after she acquired her time machine and got hooked on McD's. Just before she became a prostitute.

https://www.depression-anxiety-stress-test.org/take-the-test.html
http://www.celebritytypes.com/dark-triad/test.php
http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20151123-how-dark-is-your-personality
http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv
http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/do-i-have-ocd
https://psychcentral.com/quizzes/borderline.htm
http://www.pdchat.co.uk/psychtests/stpd/stypal.php
https://pcsearle.com/screening/screen_des.html
http://aspergerstest.net/aq-test/
http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20151123-how-dark-is-your-personality
http://vistriai.com/kinseyscaletest/
https://psychology-tools.com/empathy-quotient/
http://www.educateautism.com/infographics/sally-anne-test.html
https://www.psychologytoday.com/tests/health/mental-health-assessment

http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-test.mv
http://www.4degreez.com/misc/seven_deadly_sins.html

Others

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201602/10-signs-narcissistic-parent

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/personality-disorders/borderline-personality-disorder.htm

http://www.blueknot.org.au/Resources/General-Information/Types-of-child-abuse

http://www.synergiacounselling.com/the-complex-post-traumatic-stress-disorder-cptsd-test/

>>36775088
Nope not angry upset, upset enough to call our mam about it. To be honest I dunno where I am in life, not achieved anything really, don't want to achieve anything at the same time, it's like I've either given up or literally don't care. I mean it got to the point where my last girlfriend just left me and I wasn't bothered in the slightest due to me not wanting sex. I have zero sex drive or at least I think so because I'm not bothered about it.

>>36775187
marketing and some subsequent meme'ing

>>36775237
Unfortunately that was lost on me, I had to google Anne of Green Gables. I see the resemblance though

Finally got my diagnosis and it was such a fucking cop out: "amphetamine induced psychosis". I did a bit of meth and now you wanna blame all my problems on that? I had the symptoms before i did it regularly.

Nick told me i could have borderline which was causing me to have psychotic episodes, but the doctor was convinced me it was all drug related.

I wish i hadn't told them i ever used it.

>>36775212
No, you're more of a... Charlie.

>>36775267
Bad jokes are best when no one gets them.

>>36775281
psychiatrists are not trying to help you, they're trying to sell you pills and their "valuable" time

>>36775281
Could have been a trigger though. That's probably what they meant. Right?

>>36775219
I might be under my normal weight.

>>36775281
That sounds terrible. Is it possible you could get a second opinion from someone who doesn't know about it?

>>36775331
Well that in case you should more! Fasting definitely isn't a good idea

I've not been drawing for a few days,
and it's making me feel like shit
but also lately drawing is making me feel like shit
I'm at an impasse.

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>mfw been depressed for 2-4 years
>been drinking a lot
>been cutting
>everyone around me does cocaine all the time
>brother addicted to cocaine
>tried to beat me up when parents were in
>said he was gunna kill me and shit
>parents sided with him for a lot of the argument
>he comes out as coke addict
>parents do everything they can for him
>6 months later only just realised I've been dealing with his outbursts and paranoid shit for ages
>tfw basically no sympathy still the black sheep of family
>brother still doing coke parents don't notice
>brother keeps saying we should be best friends and shit
>asks me to drive him to some guys house so he can stab him cos he was talking shit
>mfw I hate everything and everyone
>was supposed to move in with my best friend who moved away years ago
>mfw his mum calls me says shes worried
>ohshit.jpg
>he took a bunch of Xanax and is also on anti depressants
>have to provide emotional support cos hes my basically my true brother
>mfw can't leave this shitty area and these shitty people for a bit longer
>oh and also i'm on house arrest

>>36775361
Can you just do exercises with no expectations of producing a work of art?

>>36775361
Well it drawing was making you feel bad earlier on, but not doing it is making you feel bad NOW, then i suggest that you should draw now and see if you enjoy it.

>>36775360
Yeah. You're probably right Ethan.

>>36775361
Can you draw me a dick?

>>36775396
Wow that's a lot to deal with. Why do you think your parents are showing support for you brother, but not you, even though you've actually been harming yourself?

>oh and also i'm on house arrest

Why's that?

Nevermind, it's all coming back. It hurts again.

>>36775318
Yes i was given a short term anti psychotic and redirected to rehab.

I haven't used it weeks...

>>36775326
I understand it might have been a factor but to say i have no underlying condition is inaccurate.

>>36775339
This was the specialist so i thought I'd be as open as possible but they turned out to not give a shit. It would be hard to see someone else now.

I'd love to stay but the real world calls! I probably won't be back tomorrow either, but I'll be around this weekend. Good luck everyone!

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Schizo affective disorder, wrecked my life for nearly ten years. I lost the best years of my life (16-23) because of what happened. I became agoraphobic and barley came out of my house for eons at a time.


I'm only now healing and I will never forget it and I hope one day I can live a better life.

>>36775491
What's wrong? Are you OK?

>>36775509
So you have schizophrenia and what else?

>>36775500
Wow that's a shame. Can you tell me what symptoms you experience?

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>>36775452
Never told them about my depression and I always wear hoodies or long sleeves around other people.

It's not really house arrested just didn't know how to explain it because I'm english, but basically I have a tag on my ankle and I can't leave my house between the hour's of 8pm-6am . I got on it for throwing a few punches in a brawl.

>>36775509
>I'm only now healing and I will never forget it and I hope one day I can live a better life.

Well that's good to hear! I hope the same as you. Do you think there's a certain reason or catalyst for you beginning to feel better?

>>36775529
Yeah. I am, but it just hurts again. It's a pain in my chest. It's not, because of anything specific I just don't feel well, but I smell cigarettes for no reason. I hope that my problems are mental, and I don't have a brain tumor.

>>36775568
>Never told them about my depression and I always wear hoodies or long sleeves around other people.

Have you considered opening up to them about it at all? If not them, then how about seeing a therapist?

>>36775601
That doesn't sound entirely mental. Does this happen often? If so, have you seen a doctor about it?

>>36775504
Take care, Watchful Protector.

>>36775637
It's random. I don't know why it happens, but at least the smell is quality cigarettes.

>>36775504
Stay safe, and have fun.

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>>36775611
If I actually came out about the way I feel and have been cutting, it would probably break my family. Can't let the act up man.

I think I'm too cynical for a therapist, think I'm too far gone for it actually.

>>36775683
>It's random

I would at least book an appointment for as soon as you can.

To be fair though, I'm a huge hypochondriac, so if that happened to me, I'd be straight to the doctor's

>>36775398
I never have expectations, I just draw, studying, sketching, making finished pics, it's all the same

>>36775413
the drawing process starts in my mind, and nothing good is coming up now

>>36775430
I can, but I don't like to

>he has been banned
what the fuck

even if he broke the rules who would report him?

what did he do?

>>36775712
>If I actually came out about the way I feel and have been cutting, it would probably break my family

Are you sure? How do you know they wouldn't support you? Is it because they're busy dealing with your brother?

>I think I'm too cynical for a therapist, think I'm too far gone for it actually.

I'd at least try it. I thought it would be a waste of time for myself at first as well, but it has helped me incredibly

>>36775756
He tried to evade the robot, and there are a few people who hate these threads and him who eould report him

>>36775554
Very typical stuff: voices, hallucinations, delusions. It was like i had dropped some acid and had a really bad trip, but i was completely sober.

This usually happens after a big build up of stress. Problem is i get stressed over absolutely everything, stuff that doesn't even matter to most people.

How is that normal?

>>36775720
Are you sure you don't have expectations? Don't wait for a good idea to occur, just draw whatever. Want suggestions? Could that help stimulate the creative process?

>>36775717
It's been going on for a while. If I did have cancer it'd be stage 2 or 3 by now.

>>36775789
>How is that normal?

It definitely isn't, did you tell the person that you were experiencing these symptoms before you encountered drugs?

>>36775764
>Are you sure

trust me it's not a good idea.

There's too much shit for a therapist, i'd have to search around and talk to a bunch of different therapists too find someone who gives a fuck. They would probably just tell me to get on anti-depressants anyway and fuck that noise. Everything in my life is fucked at the moment and everyone thinks i'm doing well when i'm doing worse then ever. Except for my oneitis who takes all the pain away but I let slip my problems to her every now and then and I fucking hate it.

>>36775814
Saying that is scaring me. Have you considered the doctor at all?

>>36775807
>Are you sure you don't have expectations?
Yep, I just do it
>Don't wait for a good idea to occur, just draw whatever.
That's what I do, but my stuff is starting to look all the same, and I can't think of different things to draw
>Want suggestions? Could that help stimulate the creative process?
You are welcome to try, but it usually doesn't work

>>36775871
Only a psychologist.

>>36775850
It's a therapists job to care. Trust me, they wouldn't just brush you off because your case isn't interesting to them, in fact, you probably have the most to work with out of anybody here. I really think it could help you, because it did for me

>>36775948
If these pains continue I'd really recommend seeing a medical doctor about it, it could be something you don't want to leave unchecked

Is it healthy faking happiness around other people? Will it eventually make me normal and be able to actually feel happiness more often?

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Proof of nicks ban

>>36775817
I did drugs in college so i couldn't really say that. It wasn't much, but it didn't matter as soon as i mentioned them nothing else mattered.

Do you think it's possible to induce psychosis in someone that suffers from OCD if you don't let them follow their rules and routines? I think that's what happened to me, i was very sensitive and other people basically broke me by not letting me live how i wanted.

Thanks for replying by the way.

>>36776018
Nah, I'm good, but thanks for the concern.

>>36776037
No, don't try to fake happiness. Try to something you enjoy and focus on that. Think of things that actually make you happy, no matter how small they may be. What do you enjoy?

>>36775986
You overestimate the British health care system anon, think i'll just keep doing drugs.

>>36776041
I don't believe it for even a second.

>>36776065
>Do you think it's possible to induce psychosis in someone that suffers from OCD if you don't let them follow their rules and routines?

Possibly, I'm not well educated on OCD. If you feel a strong relationship between your psychosis and your OCD, then it could be the case. Does living how you want prevent psychosis in any way?

>Thanks for replying by the way

It's what I'm here for (today at least)

>>36776079
Music can make me happy indifferent of my mood, but around other people I cant seem to have the same emotions as they have. The truth is I dont really care what other peoples day was or what they enjoy, the usual stuff you talk about with others, but its not intentional, so I have to fake all these emotions to not become an outcast...Ive been doing this for so many years that I can fake interest and happiness around others.

>>36776078
No problem, just please remember that advice if it continues frequently in the future

>>36776091
I'm British myself, and I've had great success with therapy myself. It's your choice in the end but that's the best piece of advice I can give. I hope all ends well for you

>>36776065
There's some evidence of a genetic connection between the two disorders of schizophrenia and OCD, but if you're experiencing psychotic symptoms, consider these additional to your OCD, not as a result of it.

>>36776135
Damn, you saw through my plan to fake nicks ban and replace him forever

>>36776149
>music

Well that's something at least, do you think you could enjoy creating music at all?

If you'd rather be away from people, that's completely fine, you don't need to try and fake interest and happiness in other people's lives. Just do what makes you feel comfortable

>>36776174
I'll try Ethan.

>>36776226
I couldn't be sure until I had it from your own mouth. The jig is up!

>>36776286
Thank you very much, eh

>>36773599
Ik I'm a normie but was robot for a few years, and I never had the courage to post.

I just fucked up while talking to my gf and I have no idea how to repair this. She went to sleep and I've been crying for a hour now, I'll probably cry myself through the night. She won't believe me and in 5 months made my life into heaven but I feel like I'm gonna lose her because of a single mistake. I made some before but got over them with her ... I basically said I wouldn't care if she wouldn't love me, that I'd still love her but in all honesty I'd care way too much

>>36776367
You probably predicted that we'd ask for the circumstances surrounding this mistake.

>>36776367
Could you explain why she's angry at you please, I'd like some more insight before I try to advise you on this

>>36776200
Not him but you don't live in the North East. Nobody gives two fucks about you up here, at least where I live. They immediately think you're lying, or taking advantage of something, even though you're not even asking for anything.

>>36776420
Thing is she isn't angry. Not one of us ever gets angry. I just kinda am insanely emotional and I was locked inside of me with emotions till she showed up. I never expected anything out of this. But I just feel insanely comfy and Happy with her, I had no one before her. No friends, family wouldn't care if I'd die RN. Tldr is I love her and said I wouldn't Care if she didn't love me. But I would.. I imagined around hundred of scenarios of how it would be and it broke me even more. I'm just too stupid to believe probably nothing happened. She said she doesn't love me by an accident today and we joked about it. But she took this joke seriously

>>36776263
I started playing guitar 2 years ago and it helped me infinitely through hard times, but I started losing motivation in playing.


About being alone now. Thats when my depression kicks in, its like some voices start telling me Im alone in that particular moment just because no one likes me. I feel worthless compared to others. Those same voices tell me no one wants to hear what I have to say when I talk to others. Its like a cycle that I cant break.


After 5 years of this I feel just empty...and the days that I feel normal are to me what parties would feel to others, worth remembering.

>>36776499
That sounds horrible. In that case I'm very sorry I assumed otherwise

>>36776512
I haven't really been in your situation so I'm sorry if I'm misconstruing this, but it sound so to me like a minor argument in a relationship. Has anything like this ever happened before between you?

How do people actually get on with life? I don't understand it, is it some form of defect or imbalance where I feel like I would prefer to be alone or a reject than go out and socialise, have "fun" etc?

I see chavs happier than me, but I would never want to BE them because they're scruffy fucks. It's like I'm jealous that they can somehow cope with being a fucking loser, they get on with it and that's not something I can seem to do.

>>36776512
Think hasn't clarified much to me. Is there an identifiable reason she finds it upsetting that you could continue loving her if she didn't reciprocate? Sounds rather strange to me. Apologies if my comprehension is way off, but it doesn't make sense to me.

>>36776654
*This not think
I deserve death

>>36776643
Do you truly enjoy being alone?

>>36776708
Well I like drinking alone, I like playing games alone, I feel I can get more emotionally involved in a film or show when I watch it etc. Everything seems better.

>>36776563
Maybe you should try picking up guitar again, it might help like it did before if you've taken a break from it.

This is a hard one. You don't have any interest in other people, but when youre alone you feel terrible? That's tough. I don't really know what to say. What situation do you feel MOST comfortable in? A social one, or being alone?

>>36775551

Schizophrenia and major Depression due to a traumatic upbringing with a alcoholic father, he didn't hit me or anything like that but he fucked up our life and we had to move around a lot because he kept getting fired from his mechanic jobs.


>>36775586

thanks, it was a lot of positive things in my life, mostly It's because I've taken total responsibility for my life since I started healing, eating better, studying 3d graphic art ( I studied unprofessionally for about 5-6 years since I fell off the face of the world but was too depressed to go to the pro level) and now im taking it seriously, I bought 565$ worth of training courses on Udemy at 80% off for 60$ ^^

On top of that I have a friend who is 3 years older than me with ADD (or something like it) who is wasting his life away playing League for 18 hours a day and when I saw him doing that I realized even though this illness messed me up I wasn't going to let that be me.


On top of that I've been studying animation and have undertaken a few different projects here and there all with decent degrees of success so I feel hopeful about my future.

>>36776654
>>36776617
I am basically trying to be "cheesy" but I miss wrote something and she is basically addicted to depression, has no self esteem and is living a hard life. We both are. I'm probably overthinking this (like 100%) but I just needed to somehow vent. As someone with social anxiety that reaches levels high enough to call it psychological problem, posting is easier than I thought. Sorta vented and it helped. I'll stay tho as I 90% won't sleep tonight

>>36776643
The thing is, they dont over analyse every aspect of life as you may do. To them life is just happening without a reason and without consequences of the things they do in the present. Us with social anxiety over think even the simplest interactions and we judge ourselves the hardest over the smallest things. Its easy to say "dont overthink every little shit" but the truth is its almost impossible, I know I cant just not do that.

>>36776734
Do you feel you're missing out on something? Not sure exactly what you were getting at in the first post.

>>36776734
There's nothing wrong with preferring to be alone at all. Some people are just naturally introverted. I've said quite a few times in this thread, but instead of focusing on how other people are doing, focus on yourself and things you enjoy. Do everything you for yourself and others you love, pay no mind to people who have no effect on your life.

>>36776760
Wow, that sounds like a lot of progress! Very well done! I hope you can be an example for that friend of yours

>>36776769
She'll probably get over it if you effectively communicate her importance to you. Feel free to stay and post anything else you'd like.

>>36776769
No problem, I'm sure this thing will be a distant memory for both of you soon enough

>>36776775
So it would be better to be brought up with less intelligence to not be able to over analyze everything? I do sometimes freak myself out when over drunk and I start thinking about the universe in general, and what we are compared to everything the sheer thought fucking scares me sometimes. It's so hard to comprehend infinite.

>>36776736
I have a few people that I can call true friends. One left to study in another country, one is busy with work almost every day, and a couple people that are as quiet or calm as I am, where I dont feel the need to fake too much(there are some days that even they cant help brighten me up). Hanging out with these people helps me forget about depression/anxiety, but our lives are just too different to be able to hang out too often, so my other option of having a "normal" life is hanging with other students in my year that arent quite like me. Just so I dont become a no one in the eyes of society.

>>36776844
Thank you desu, just seeing someone answer me helped. I honestly tell her how much I value her every day but because of her low self esteem compliments do nothing and my actions prove my words. My past is made me lock my emotions inside and now that they are finally awake they are overflowing and I've been over thinking everything. I made a couple of mistakes but we worked past them. I basically got her out of a long distance relationship that was faked by her boyfriend. I noticed it instantly but she hoped. Well we somehow got together and now I'm just over thinking but it's fine. We both are. We've been together every single day possible since we got together. It's nice to know people on this board are helping each other. I watched this thread since #30 I think. Thank you Ethan

>>36776910
>So it would be better to be brought up with less intelligence
No. Take it from me, you don't want less intelligence. It annoys me a great deal when I hear people claim to want this.

I had a dream I was on a small bay lodged between two adjacent, short cliffs. The sky was light grey and cloudy. There was a dock that went out to the ocean beyond the cliffs, but this dock seemingly never ended, it just went on and on as far as the eye could see. I decided nonchalantly that I would walk on this dock and see where it went.

So I started walking, and eventually I got far enough where I walked past where the cliffs ended. I looked from left to right, and all I could see was ocean and the dock infront of me. Eventually, the dock path was replaced by small swathes of land that were barely above water, but it still made out what looked like a path, with wooden planks joining two bits of land here and there, still the path had no end in sight. But I noticed that the tide was becoming worse, and I could see waves crashing on the dock from left to right in front of me. I realised that if the tide got any worse I would be knocked off and would probably drown. So naturally I started making my way back. The waves started crashing against this dock more and more violently, and I looked behind me and I saw that the path behind me was submerged in water. The bay was far away, and the waves started crashing on to me and then I woke up.

I've had loads of odd dreams like this that seem like short stories or something.

What do you guys think it meant? Has anyone read any of Jung's books?

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I'm extremely tired and I've noticed I keep missing words out of posts. It's time for me to sleep. I hope I've been as much help to everyone as nick had been. Good night everyone!

>>36776922
If you want we can finish this conversation in tomorrow's thread, or you can email me earlier in the day. We have more to talk about. Same goes for any other conversations I might've left unfinished.

[email protected]

>>36777024
Someone else cover this one. I don't see value in interpreting dreams.

>>36776910
A saying that I heard often growing up was "dumb, but happy" used jokingly when someone said some stupid shit. And I think it applies in general, dumb people are happier, they dont think about what happens when they die, they just laugh about what stupid shit they saw on TV last night.


As about your drinking, would you think its a problem? Do you drink alone every day? And do you drink to forget certain things or because you are chasing that hope of being happy while drunk?

>>36777024
>>36777041
Sorry, if you want, I'll talk to you tomorrow, but right now I'm about to collapse from tiredness

>>36777041
Dammit Ethan. Now I'm on my own.

>>36777069
Thanks for the help man, talk to you tomorrow then.

>>36777062
>or because you are chasing that hope of being happy while drunk?
This. Because of work I tend to drink on weekends ONLY, but sometimes I might have a drink now and then during the week (very rare). But on the weekends yeah I'll do easily 2-3L of vodka. Usually more in the 2L region.

>>36777078
I can try to help D: honestly I helped a few people out and basically won't be able to sleep tonight as I am shaking uncontrollably and crying a lot

>>36777062
What an appropriately stupid caricature of unintelligent people. Stupid people can have existential angst just as anyone. It's the human condition to wonder about these things, not the exclusive province of the cognitive elite.

>>36776963
Not sure if you realised you weren't replying to me, but thank you anyway.

>>36777094
Don't worry, I think the threads dying down now. I believe you can keep it as well as me or nick

>>36777057
>Someone else cover this one. I don't see value in interpreting dreams.
Why not?

It's a pretty cool dream, you have to admit.

I fucking hate all you autists with your dipshit problems in this thread that don't actually matter. REEEEEEE. Fucking kill everyone

>>36777111
Feel free. Try to ask relevant questions to tease out information that will bring a solution into view.

>>36777078
>>36777094
>>36777123

Oops meant for meta. God I need sleep. Goodnight!

>>36777123
Oh yeah, metapsych, I'm sorry, kinda out of everything trying to control myself so I don't wake up my sibling

>>36777130
Sorry, but I didn't even read it man. I will if you insist. Don't expect much of a helpful analysis from me, though

>>36773757
I hate nick. I hope he gets banned every time he makes another one of these faggot threads. He's such a lonely attention seeking dipshit. Plus his advice is garbage.

>>36777146
Want to go into detail about why these people's problems don't matter? I harbor no hostility towards you, despite your own. I'm available to listen to any of your problems.

>>36777146
I really hope you're a troll taking that name and not the person I was talking to who forgot to take off his name, because if so, that's disappointing

>>36777198
Do you realize that only you can suffer from your hatred? Let it go for your own good.

>>36777024
Dreams are usually just minds creation in the night, I have weird dreams and I mean weird as arguing who will sleep on mozzarella while me and my friend are basically roses weird. Don't look for much in it. But I'd like to hear about the other odd dreams

>>36777116
True, but my view is (and it may be wrong) that the sadness they feel from wondering things like WHY we exist is short lived, as opposed to someone a little more intelligent that fixates and analyses things until they dont see the beauty in other things anymore. But yes, I agree with you, I may have not expressed myself well with my previous reply.

>>36777337
They likely do experience less of it on average. Apologies if I seemed hostile. Sensitive subject for me.

>>36777258
>>36777258
Idk. I read some Jung and it's tough to explain without hitting the character limit but I'm inclined to believe that their might be some significance to dissecting what dreams mean. Your dreams are persuading me otherwise, but nonetheless.

I had a series of nightmares one week, I had about 4-5 hours a night because I would wake up in cold sweats from horrible dreams.

One I had was where I walked into a dentist's office, sat myself down on the chair, and after he had finished doing whatever he was doing to my teeth he showed me a mirror to look at my reflection. My face looked bright red, and it began to inflate to a point where I looked like The Elephant Man. Me and a woman I was with started freaking out, and I looked at the doctor but he had this expressionless face whilst staring at me. The same thing was happening to him though. So I get helped down the stairs, and into the waiting room everyone who was there before was staring at me also. Their faces were inflated and bright red too, as if they got stung a thousand times by some wasps. It was pitch black outside as if you could step outside and glitch and fall out of a map like in a video game.

I think my dreams are weird because they almost play like short movies. What do you think?

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Foveal bump

>>36777243
I didn't forget too take my name off, I'm pissed cos the only advice I get is too see a fucking therapist. When all these cunts with problems that are just a complete load of shit get detailed discussions about their fucking dreams or their fucking drawings fuck all that.

>>36777564
Just out of curiosity, are you a primarily visual thinker?

>>36777609
I can understand your frustration but there's no need to lash out. You can have your say and I'll respond to the best of my ability.

>>36777564
I used have nightmares as well, woke up in sweat too, but I got over it as I'm with her. I think they might a bit unusual but you can remember them well, that's nice. I used to remember only parts of them. I loved one thing about my nightmares, they made sense. My dreams are crazy. Literally crazy. Ultimate answer is that I don't think you should look for a meaning unless something in possible future is mentioned in them.

>>36777609
Are you sober right now? Can you describe your hatred?

>>36777685
Fuck you I already said what happened to me but that isn't even all of it I fucking hate everything and I fucking hate how everyone on here as these insignificant problems that they could fucking solve so easily, and I hate how all the fucking normies have a decent time their whole life. And I fucking hate how i'm supposed to care about other peoples problems when no one cares about mine.

>>36777609
>I'm pissed cos the only advice I get is too see a fucking therapist

Why do you expect to get better fucking advice from some shitty forum online? He tried his best, and looking through what else could he have said? He's not a psychologist, he can't magically fix your problems through text posts retard

>>36777740
>Are you sober right now?

Kek how do you think I deal with this shit.

>>36777771
Why do you think people post here newfag? So they can REEEEEEE as much as they want. Go fuck yourself you autist.

>>36777649
Well, I'm not sure what you mean by that but I think maybe I am, yeah. I'm good at making a mental image of things, but I think maybe I'm an auditory thinker too because I am really passionate about music.
>>36777706
My dreams never used to make sense, but in the past few years they do. It's not that I have the most fantastical dreams, but they are like short indie films or something.

Describe a dream you had.

>>36777823
What's the fucking point of coming here to tell your problems, then just get angry cause you're unwilling to cooperate? Fuck off yourself idiot

>>36777745
No one is demanding that you care about anyone here, but other people are not you and their problems matter to them just as much as yours do to you because first person perspective is all anybody has to work with. If you don't mind saying, what drugs are you on now? Just alcohol?

>>36777857
Kill yourself, I'm just venting anyway. Anyone with any kind of experience with helping people would know this. Get out of this thread and get back the reddit newfag.

>>36777857
If you could refrain from agitating him further, I'd appreciate it. It won't help him. Let him vent if that's what he needs.

>>36777862
Yeh I'm about to smoke a joint though.

>>36777852
One of the weirdest was that Jason statham gave me a car and I drove it around my city but fueled it with ground, literally sucked it in and went on. Then I stopped in front of a store and took a mini elephant with me and I got to a point I just drove on a highway and Jason jumped in, kicked me out and I touched a random person, their head opened and their brain flew out like a Lotos flower

What was your nicest dream ?

>>36777916
Maybe stick with the weed, assuming you aren't at risk for psychosis, and cut out the alcohol while you're feeling angry.

I only come to these because i can't tell anyone i know irl how i really feel because they'd never speak with me again.

How do i get rid of a life long build up of rage and hatred?

I might kill someone someday if i keep in like this.

>>36777960
Strenuous exercise? Where in your body do you feel the rage?

>>36777960
Did you ever try meditation ? Also where does the hatred come from ?

>>36777960
Could you say a bit about when this developed and any specific triggers you have?

>>36778019
>>36778039

Where my heart is supposed to be.

>>36778051
Any behavior i don't like, for specially someone messing with what i own.
Thats what stands out the most.

>>36778105
Which behaviors do you dislike? There could be something revelatory there. I experience extreme anger, as well. Just fyi

>>36778105
You could try physical activity to release rage, or try meditation, helped me to control myself while playing sports/games and with deep depression

Yo, what do you do when you live with your brother who is a disability robbing motherfucker and doesn't clean, cook, or do anything to support the household; Whilst you're the older brother who does everything else?

Is this thread for or against psychiatric medication in general?
Sound off.

>>36777928
This is one of the reasons I have reservations about Jung, I wonder what the hell he would think about a dream like this? I have random ones like this. In certain video games, you can have access to the console and go in noclip, and I have loads of dreams that I can do that irl.

The nicest dream I had was one where there was this kid living in some kind of after life, he died when he was a kid and he would never age. I came in to see him occassionally and I kind of felt like a father to him. A lot of my dreams are cheesy as fuck, kek

>>36778174
Why is he on disability? Do you love your brother?

>>36778182
Nick is generally averse to it, but I'm certainly not for disorders of genetic origin. I can't make clinical diagnoses, however, so you'll never see me recommend any specific drugs.

>>36778212
Love him as mate, hate him as anything else. He has some 'heart problems' for the past 2-3 years, but yet still does everything perfectly fine.

>>36778256
I can't decide whether to take the drugs my psychiatrist recommends or not.
How do you discuss your inability to trust anyone with someone you don't trust?

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>>36777944
I'll try

origiikhgf

>>36778184
I am cheesy as fuck irl and I didn't know it about myself till her. I really had not many nice dreams whatsoever and mostly live on nightmare/weird mix.

>>36778150
Well, in addition to my other post i also hate being talked about behind or infront of me.
I don't need anyone's attention or pitty.


>>36778174
I feel you, I'm the middle child in the family, no one gives a fuck about me and anytime they bring me up in a conversation it's just to talk shit about me, saying im lazy and shit, although i do everything around the house.
I'm just the family punching bag.

>>36778283
You just have to take the leap if it's important enough (which it likely is, since you mention it at all) What else can you do?
What are you prescribed and for what purpose? I recommend that you heed the advice of professionals.

I just remembered a dream I had today,
I was in some sort of public building/shop and for some reason I was getting ready to sleep in a bed that was there, but suddenly I heard my ex gf and went to hide, then from my hiding spot I heard her saying that she saw me there and that she was waiting for me to go away, while saying this she was laying on the bed where I was supposed to sleep and I was on a couch not too far from there and on which I fell asleep.

>>36778260
Try sensitively starting a conversation about how you view his inactivity. Make it clear you want the best for him and that he can't progress while wasting away at your expense.

>>36778337
What are you worried someone will say about you?

>>36778338
citalopram
lithium
seroquel
beta blockers
few other memes
thyroid
I just don't know. I told him I was taking them last time and that I still can't leave the house and he just told me to keep it up; these things take time.
Going to his office is two of my four front door exits since the new year.
This all seems like nonsense. The pills keep all of the bad, and steal all of the good.

>>36778391
If I do this, I'll likely just punch the fucker, and then he'll call my mam or sister and get the most attention as usual, and then I'll be the 'bad' guy in the situation.

>>36778413
I hate being talked about, neither for praise or condescending.
I don't want anyone talking about how "sick" i am, i can hear everything through these walls, and it hurts.
Ignorance is a bliss.

I'd like to be a no-body and die like i lived, forgotten.

>>36778444
Bipolar disorder, perhaps? It seems citalopram and lithium are majorly contraindicated, but I'm no doctor.

>>36778499
Get yourself a tea, and slowly talk with him about everything, I did this too with my younger brother and now we don't want to kill each other daily

I was diagnosed with bipolar at 18 and struggled with mental health problems since I was 14. I'm now 22 and I'm scared that the only definite is that I'll kill myself.

>>36778549
He's had a history of drugs, maybe I'll do a weed tea or something.

>>36778444
>>36778536
You didn't state what you're diagnosed with. If the doctors assure you that this is the best treatment, you could get a second opinion and try to find something less risky. Please be aware that I have absolutely no credentials and defer to the experts totally. Take their advice before any of mine.

>>36778611
Why are you so sure you'll kill yourself?

>>36778536
I'm diagnosed with MDD and ADHD. I think my doctor probably thinks I have bipolar though, yeah.
I'm unconvinced any of this is real, I'm just a miserable fuck and the names are just window-dressing for their scam to extort me while I'm being chemically imprisoned.
It distresses me that this is both a stereotypical reaction of people I've thought insane in the past and unequivocally my standpoint.

>>36778642
Just get a classic tea, sit down with him and talk, it might take a bit of time but might also help

>>36778688
>It distresses me that this is both a stereotypical reaction of people I've thought insane in the past and unequivocally my standpoint.
This should tell you everything you need to know. Your misery is a testament to the reality of your malady, my friend.
In addition to medications, try to ensure that all the more mundane aspects of your daily routine are in order. Exercise, proper nutrition, healthy relationships and communication, etc (all things I myself lack...)

>>36778535
Why would praise bother you? This intrigues me.

>>36778785
He'll wonder what the fuck is going on, and neither him nor I will actually talk about anything. We'll be more confused as to why we're there than anything and probably end up just drinking.

>>36778828
I'm same except the communication. I am 184 cm or 6' and at 66.6 kg for 3 years, no exercise or healthy nutrition whatsoever

>>36778828
As much as I hate being that guy, it doesn't generally stop me...
>people I've thought insane in the past
What if everything that I thought I knew was wrong?
It's not like I think my thoughts are irrational now; just antithetical to what I was taught, what is generally considered more mainstream.
>In addition to medications, try to ensure that all the more mundane aspects of your daily routine are in order. Exercise, proper nutrition, healthy relationships and communication, etc (all things I myself lack...)
Naw, I mean everything else is fucked too, and I do feel slightly better when I make a conscious effort to be healthy, but it doesn't feel good enough to not collapse at the first sign of a crack.

>>36778499
You should be able to control your own reactions before attempting to deal with his. Can you try putting yourself in his shoes and seeing how easy it is to slip into this pattern when there's no pressing need to stray from it? It ought not to make you angry if you realize that were your own characteristics slightly differently tuned, you'd be in the same position. Maybe weed actually could help prevent an irrational outburst. But it's best to get it under control and convey your feelings in an objective, neutral, yet caring way rather than allow it all to fester and get even worse.

>>36778611
leaving this world isn't as scary as it sounds.
You could try and survive in this vicious world, i don't know for what purpose.
Or you could give this gay earth the middle finger and take the easy way out.

Whatever makes you happy.

I myself have nothing to live for anymore, i could die right now without a single regret.
Infact i wish i would die right now.

>>36778896
I can't really put my finger on it.
It just pisses me off.
Specially coming from my peers.

I guesss you can't make up for years of neglect and abuse with a few sweet words.
It always sounds forced.

>>36778966
You can question things eternally and get nowhere for it. You have to make the choice to accept the scientific process as your only bet for improvement.
Keep at that effort to be healthy, it will pay off eventually, even if it doesn't feel like it at first.

>>36779022
Maybe you feel it's not truly meant? Or not truly deserved? Is there anything you would welcome hearing from another person?
Want to talk about your history of abuse?

Evening everyone. I had my additional therapy today. It was mostly housekeeping, giving him a general picture, filling in a CORE form etc. He rather cheekily said
>If you decide after 30 minutes you don't see it working out, I won't charge you
and then took half an hour asking basic questions and explaining his confidentiality policy.

Anyway, it went reasonably for a first go around I think. He didn't bat an eye over the DID stuff and seemed as though he had experience with it. That boded fairly well. He also said it would take well in excess of 20 sessions to begin to tackle my issues. While I don't disagree with him, I'm conscious that it's me who'll be paying for it and it isn't cheap.

He seemed rather too focused on my diagnosis of ASPD (Antisocial Personality Disorder). Now, this diagnosis was given to me by an African GP on our first meeting after about half an hour. As such I don't personally consider it to be credible. I don't feel it fits. There again, I suppose the high Machiavellianism and disdain for authority, mistrust of others, etc etc. Anyway, he also took the splitting seriously. If I'm completely honest I was afraid of being belittled. My current therapist refuses to acknowledge the given genders of the others, and we find that disrespectful.

He also made mention of some cutting edge version of therapy involving REM, induced reliving of trauma and consequent memory loss. He also warned that it could shift me out so who knows, could be pretty exciting. I said I thought it sounded like Victorian nonsense but I'd give it a go anyway.

I also didn't like that he cited my mother's bipolar 1/ manic depression as potential evidence for 'grandiosity' on my part, and that my father's schizotypal could indicate 'magical thinking'.

He asked for me to pay via bank transfer within 24 hours and I agreed, but then got a burst of paranoia. I said I'd pay for both sessions in cash up front next time. He didn't reply. He's just going to have to deal with it.

>>36779169
Hey, Facet.
>He also made mention of some cutting edge version of therapy involving REM, induced reliving of trauma and consequent memory loss. He also warned that it could shift me out so who knows, could be pretty exciting. I said I thought it sounded like Victorian nonsense but I'd give it a go anyway.
Color me fascinated. Did he make mention of a name for that? Rereading and breaking up my responses.

>>36779169
Do YOU personally feel disrespected by his misgendering? He doesn't want to lend credence to the notion that they are truly autonomous, presumabky.

>>36779097
I'd welcome anything that doesn't involve asking me for favors.
An occasional hello and a short chatter would do fine.

My history of being abused isn't really an interesting one, not as far as i remember.
It was mostly
>Beatings and yelling is the cure for any autistic behavior that comes from our child.
My father was always at work, when he isn't he's being a shit father, i don't think he was prepared for the responsibility of raising children.
What i hated most is always comparing me to other peoples children, like it's a dick measuring contest for fathers.

You can't control what you want your son to be, if you want to, you shouldn't have children in my opinion.

>>36779169
>I also didn't like that he cited my mother's bipolar 1/ manic depression as potential evidence for 'grandiosity' on my part, and that my father's schizotypal could indicate 'magical thinking'.

Do you disbelieve that your disorder has a genetic component?

>>36779243
It's the next big thing apparently:

>Eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing (EMDR)

>If something traumatic has happened to you (whether it be a car accident, abuse or something seemingly less significant like being humiliated), the memory of your experience may come crashing back into your mind, forcing you to relive the original event with the same intensity of feeling - like it is taking place in the present moment.

>These experiences that pop into your awareness may present themselves as either flashbacks or nightmares, and are thought to occur because the mind was simply too overwhelmed during the event to process what was going on.

>As a result, these unprocessed memories and the accompanying sights, sounds, thoughts and feelings are stored in the brain in 'raw' form, where they can be accessed each time we experience something that triggers a recollection of the original event.

>While it isn't possible to erase these memories, the process of Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprocessing (EMDR) can alter the way these traumatic memories are stored within the brain - making them easier to manage and causing you less distress.

http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/emdr.html

>>36779269
I do, because if he denies the experience of one of us then he denies it of all of us, plus he's calling me a liar by extension. The thing is he doesn't exactly say it isn't a seperate identity: he says she's a little boy. And that's bullshit when you think about it.

>>36779169
Look at it from the perspective of placing priority on harm reduction and you can understand why someone would focus on AsPD.
Have you had people not take the splitting seriously before?

>>36779320
I do disbelieve it, but it would be a mistake to rule it out I suppose. Perhaps it's because I tell myself that I would have been normal and happy were it not for what was done to me. If it's genetic, then I never had a chance.

>>36779373
You only need to look back to the start of these series of threads. There was someone consistently calling me a liar and I have to admit that it bothered me. I prepared a fairly long response at the time but never had occasion to post it.

>>36779354
>he says it's a little boy
Ok, that would piss me off to. Why'd he think that? I'd feel he was disregarding or effacing my own experience, something he can't possibly have access to. You should be candid about that with him.

>>36779401
>Perhaps it's because I tell myself that I would have been normal and happy were it not for what was done to me. If it's genetic, then I never had a chance
I get this.
If it was inevitable, it really is all my fault.

>>36779401
What difference does it make now? You are the way you are in the present, but don't have to be in the future.
Only you can truly know if you're telling the truth. You shouldn't hold skepticism against people.

>>36779436
Incorrect. You didn't select your genes. You couldn't possibly be at fault for that.

>>36779483
My genes aren't separate from my person; they are me, I am them.

>>36779273
Do you compare yourself to others as an adult?

>>36779429
Because he's saying they're all me, just at different ages/ developmental stages. He seems to believe that everyone has different 'alters' and they're all just the voice of you: the infant, the child, the teenager, the early teen, the late teen and so on.

>>36779469
I see what you're saying. However, if someone is outright denying something intensely personal that has made my life very difficult throughout my life I have a right to be offended.

>>36779517
But there need be an alternative for you to be at fault. You couldn't have averted their coming into being. You aren't your genes, either. You are your conscious experience.

>>36779536
Not that i remember, no.

>>36779541
It's an intriguing idea and there's probably some truth to it, but you should lay out that it seems to deny the reality of your experience. If he doesn't understand or refuses to honor your request, you likely won't get far if it bothers you this much. Tell him it's counterproductive at such an early stage.

>>36779541
>right to be offended
I understand fully, man. But you have to go about it gently if you want that fact to be appreciated.

>>36779631
The therapist who believes that is the one I've been seeing for several years and will be seeing tomorrow. The new one hasn't thrown any theories like that out yet. He seemed to take it more seriously without putting a spin on it, and honestly I appreciated that.

>>36779681
I suppose. I know it's fairly entertaining for you, but that's fine. Bear in mind, they have scant opportunity to talk to anyone much less outside of the context of a meltdown, a frenzy or some other damage control situation. When you talk with us you're on the other side of the internet so it's a lot safer and I feel better about it the next day knowing that no one will have been hurt.

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>>36779799
Have to take a short break. Back very soon

>>36779951
See you soon, meta

>>36779951
See, you're killing this guy dudes. Stop it.

>>36779972
How's the thread been?

>>36780066
Better since your double dubs arrived. I've only been here an hour tops. Been talking about my therapy today, if you're interested:
>>36779169
>>36779354

>>36780051
I'm fine, just not used to being so dedicated.

>>36779799
Appreciate it enough for it to be worth the money?

>>36780066
Well, it's had only yours truly at the helm for a good portion of it so... predictably mediocre on my end. Ethan did a good job, though.

How're you holding up so far?
Did the exposure to autism turn you gay yet?

>>36780267
Far too early to say. My default position is disliking everyone until I warm up to them and he's no exception. However, it gained him some points. That and his already bringing something to my attention that hadn't really registered to me yet in all my years of therapy: I developed a lot of what was going on because there was the sexual abuse (pretty bad) had it rough at home (worse) and was then re-traumatised by incredibly ill-advised choices in therapy (compounded things). The effect of this was that neither at home, nor at school, nor in therapy was I ever safe. When you look at it that way it makes sense that I never, ever feel safe. That was basically my experience throughout childhood. Shit sinks in.

>>36780127
Rather interesting, if I say so myself. Which I do.

>>36780348
This is in the top ten most confusing things I've ever read.

>>36780292
don't downplay yourself mata, that's my schtick

>>36780396
Ok, top 100 but still a head-scratcher

>>36780399
I'll best anyone at the art of self-deprecation. I dare you to challenge me to a humility-off! I'll win every time! No one is more unsure of their own prowess at everything than me. NO ONE!

>>36780444
I thought it's pretty straight forward.

nice trips brah

>>36780369
Well, I certainly hope he can help fill in the gaps your other couldn't. Is there anything you want to bring up to him but feel nervous about?

>>36780530
I imagine there's a lot but I'm not sure yet. It's difficult to know where to begin, honestly. There's a ton of ground to cover.

>>36780560
Maybe we could try to find a starting point now.

>>36780626
Ok sure, I'd be grateful for the help if you have some ideas and tomorrow is drinking night again so chances are the others might pitch in then

>>36780495
Fine you win. You're the best. I couldn't beat you anyways

>>36780700
You didn't even try and it's still better than my conceited post!

>>36780682
I really don't but I'm distracted by a nearing intrusion, so I'll think on it for a minute

Won't anyone new Join the thread?
Im bored.
I think it's time to go to sleep.

>>36780682
>drinking night
I must say that I'm very tempted to save some alcohol for that...

>>36780825
That sounds great, we should dive into it together.

>>36780817
It would be fun, wouldn't it? Seems somewhat perverse when I put it like that...

>>36780770
>didn't even try
That's the point. You thought you were better than me. Kinda the antithesis of thinking you're worthless.

>>36780839
My self-control apparatus is too defective to permit that. I'll drink it all tonight as soon as it arrives.

>>36780817
First the Blacked trolls spread from /pol/ here, now the sleepyposters too?

>>36780853
I'm so inept that I'm contradicting my stated purpose, whereas you've maintain a clear position from the beginning. My loss is obvious and absolute.

>>36780886
Get off my micro dick dude, its 3:30am.
I'm on here to redpill people into take their lifes, if no one is coming I'll go to sleep.

>>36780878
I will make an effort to resist for you, Face T.

>>36780923
Do you really have a microdick?

>>36780967
Not really, tbqh with you pham its 8 incherinos
So slightly above average, too bad its never ever going to get used properly.

>>36780878
>>36780926
Thanks. But there again, why drink one night when you can drink two? Also, 'arrive'? Do you order it online rather than just heading to the shops?

>>36780903
You actually thought that you were the best at something, so you had that going for you.