What is your suicide plan, robot?

>>36767003
To 'lose control' of my car so it hurts my mum a little less.

I wanna die semi slowly

Not slitting my wrists, only girls do that

Probably stabbing myself, If I can commit to that then im surely gonna be done with everything

make it look like an accident but i dont know how

>>36767103
Have some honor anon, use a sword.

>>36767003
i have a couple
>jump infront of a train
pros: easy, over fast, no regret
cons: messy, public trauma, no regret

>slitting my radial artery
pros: can regret, something for my family to bury, can do it at home
cons: pain, hard to do, can go wrong

>jumping down long set of stone stairs
pros: easy
cons: will hurt like a binch, will take long, chance of not dying

>jump into the harbor in winter
pros: easy, no regret, freezing to death should be nice
cons: public trauma, no regret

>>36767159
Only if its some short sword

Otherwise my arms wont be long enough for me to actually stab myself

Put my had on a railroad and let the train to cut it off.

>Sleeping pills and alcohol
I'll just die in my sleep

>>36767293
believe it or not anon, that method is somewhat difficult to pull off and most of the times you just end up waking up and feeling like shit

>climb a tree that has thick branches
>sit on a branch, tie a rope to my legs with one end of a rope the other end tie to the branch.
>cut my throat with a knife
>lean backwards
>hang by my feet from the branch and drain like a pig
I'm probably not going to do this but it's fun to think about

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Pic related, in reality I'll probably just stab myself.

>>36767003
Good ol' failproof hanging

It's gonna take a while, but it works everytime, sometimes sooner that what you would expect.
You don't have to do anything just live your life and you will die. often 40-60 years later. 10/10 do recommend

Leave a goodbye letter to my beloved mother.
Pay for a trip to a nearby island, take a gun with me.
Go to a high and remote spot on the island.
Watch the sun set.
Darkness comes.
Bang.

No trains at my place, so not sure. I'll probably just order the drug they use to euthanise people over in northern europe, on the dark web. just puts you to sleep. My best friend, my first love, did it and I haven't been the same since.

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I honestly don't know. I would just shoot myself in the head, but the only gun I have is a .22lr revolver. I'm worried that it won't be powerful enough to kill me and I'll end up waking up in a hospital with permanent brain damage and have to live as a retard for the rest of my life.

probably jump in front of the first morning train, or the mid afternoon train. whatever has the most commuters to inconvenience

i remember how pissed off i was trying to get to work on time when they would have to stop the train to scrape somebody off the tracks. a nice fuck you to all the wagies

Wait till my mom dies and then six shooter to the mouth

Basically kill myself with poor life choices.

overdosing tonight

To my fellow robots that plan on overdosing on pills:

I tried this last year. I'm on some fucking serious sleeping pills because I have insomnia. Just taking 2 will knock a horse out. I took 20 one night when I tried to kill myself. I woke up the next morning with the worst headache and pain in my sides/stomach I had ever felt before and spent the entire day throwing up. What I'm saying is either don't do it or make sure you down the whole bottle of whatever you're taking. Also don't take them all at once. They get into your bloodstream better if you take a couple over each time over the course of an hour.

>>36767003
Being a martyr would cool, taking down the illuminati with me

i tried to overdose with 70 pills of Antidepressiva,almost died but survived and now i am in a mental hospital

>>36769500
Any of the nurses hot?

belt to the neck,easy.

>>36767003
Old Age most likely.

When I'm tried of existing I'm going to leap from a bridge, getting close.

>>36767003
most robots from the old days are probably dead

>>36767003
I'm planning on popping about 50 tramadols in december this year. Gonna chill out in the secluded hills and just smoke prerolled joints and listen to music until I die. Do you think it'll work lads?

>>36769574
How the fuck are you going to get that many tramadols?

>>36769568
yep. probably
3gr of oregano

>>36767075
Make sure you unbutton your seatbelt. I almost died from a car accident not intended to kill myself.

I feel the same way. A near death experience kind of don't want to.

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>>36769574
Have been stockpiling, have about 30 so far. Getting my wisdom teeth removed in june (for genuine reasons) which should give me the last 20.

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Came just in time huh
I had edgy plans after my psychotic break (pic releated, you guys probably don't even remeber) but I'm too crazy for army, so seems like I'm going to make a noose and jump from some building, or something like that. I'm feeling too lazy to even put effort into killing myself right now, though. Let's see how this mount will pass.

Pill overdosing almost never works. Overdosing only works if you're using some legit stuff like fentanyl.

>>36767175
>>jump infront of a train
please don't do that, It's really bad to make the engine driver into a murderer

My plan i to collect a lot of poisionous plants, mix them and gulp that deadly smoothy down

>>36769586
sorry below is meant for you

>>36769607

>climb a random mountain in Alaska or somewhere like that
>either shoot myself in the heart or do something like an ancient warrior and cut my innards out
Hopefully they don't find me soon, son my shit can freeze and it won't be as bad for the senpai

>>36769607
>Getting my wisdom teeth removed in june (for genuine reasons) which should give me the last 20.

That's not fucking fair. When I got my wisdoms taken out, they only gave me slightly stronger than over the counter Ibuprofen. I had to borrow some of my dad's oxy to take the pain.

>>36769615
Good. Leave the normalfags traumatized and late for work, it's what they deserve.

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AGAIN WITH THIS FUCKING THREAD. ITS SO FUCKING SIMPLE. PURCHASE PHENOBARBITAL (WIKI IT, HAS A LONG A 100% SUCCESS RATE OF DEATH) YOU CAN SPEN 150 BUCKS ON IT AND BOMB YOUR LIFE IS OVER WITHIN 9 HOURS.

PROS YOU GO OUT HIGH AS FUCK, AND WHEN THE MOMENT COMES THAT YOU DIE YOU DONT EVEN KNOW BECAUSE YOU BLACK OUT WITH ZERO WARNING.

PHENOBARBITAL FOLKS. JESUS CHRIST GET ON MY LEVEL. IT'S HOW IM GOING, ILL BE LAYING IN BED WATCHING ROBOCOP 1 AND WILL HAVE TAKING SEVERAL 1000MG'S AND SAY PEOPLE OUT BITCHES, FUCK THE KIKES! AND BY THE WAY, MAKE SURE YOU SHIT AND PISS EVERYTHING OUT BEFORE HAND NO ONE WANTS TO PICK UP YOUR BODY AND HAVE SHIT AND URINE SOAKED EVERYWHERE, IF YOU NEED HELP GETTING THIS MEDICATION, I CAN HELP YOU. REAL SUICIDERS APPLY ONLY PLS.

>>36769615

Grow some deadly nightshade and eat berries and make a tea from the leaves.

>>36767175
Drowning is one of the worst ways to suicide, inevitably your body jumps into survival mode as you drown, feel all the regret without a chance of saving yourself.

>>36769574
THAT WILL NOT WORK YOU DIPSHIT MORON, IT WILL CAUSE YOU TO HAVE A SEIZURE. REFER TO MY POST ON PHENOBARBITAL.

>>36767003
You ever have one of those moments when EVERYTHING comes into focus and you forget everything all at once.
Like switching from cable to 4K resolution but suddenly you're also 4k and your mind just goes blank outside happiness and content?

I'm sure theres a term for it i used to know. Anyway, i used to get those from time to time when i went on early morning walks as the sun rose. Its like one moment would just hit me and for a split second i saw, heard smelled, felt, and even tasted everything perfectly. I miss those moments more than anything and i do mean anything.

So i carry a nice CZ 97B with the manual safety off and a round chambered at all times in case i EVER get one of those moments upon which i'll pray to whatever deity is listening or exists i can get it lined up properly in my mouth and pull the trigger before that magical moment disappears forever.

Its been 6 long years since the last one and my only biggest fear beyond missing that "moment" is that i'll just never get one again.

My family knows and the only reason they've told literally no one such as authorities or a psych is they know i'd drop myself then and there without hesitation i'm not going back to that.

>>36768428
It won't be. Shotguns are cheap enough.

>>36769574
Other anon is right you'll just get seizures and a lot of pain before vomiting it all up. Worse case you'll just have some permanent painful issues for life but constantly be on suicide watch.

Take my 13 gauge to my parent's 20 Acres and leave a note to my step dad warning him not to let mom back there.

She doesn't need to see that

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>>36769679
What we need is a veterinarian robot, so he can supply us all with lots of nembutal, so we can all go to together, peacefully with no pain and no gore to whoever finds our bodies.

>>36769766
this

We can go out as a family. Family of tards, but hey, it's still a family

>>36769705
Intresting idea though why you'd choose death at that point, I know not.

>>36769690
pretty sure you'll die from the cold without drowning yourself

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>>36767003
The only method that I feel like I'd have guts to do is opiate overdose. Would at least die with bliss

>>36768428
>>36769708
fun fact time!
If you shoot a .22lr top down, preferably from behind the bottom of the skull is thick enough the bullet will ricochet around. Its guaranteed death basically.

Outside that google flaccid paralysis in shooting and the "T-zone". Hit where all points intersect and even a 22.lr will drop you.

I've been wanting these since I was a kid:
>jump into a volcano
>jump from outer space like Felix Baugmartner but no parachute
>jump from Angel's falls
I'd just like to be happy and excited, full of adrenaline the moment before I do it.

>>36767075
My mum tried killing herself this way and just wound up all maimed. Not surefire.

>>36769805
They're literally the only moments i've ever felt truly happy or unburdened. I'd rather die in that state than with all the usual crippling shit on my mind.

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>>36769687
This. Maybe add some of pic related and also some laburnum and similar stuff. The more the merrier.

>>36769887
If I were you I'd much prefer a shotgun.

>>36769869
Do angel falls. Less painful.

Volcanoes require you to get to the magma which means you'll be burning alive on the way to it before you can jump in which wouldn't be fast either and atmospheric rentry would actually be insanely painful as that would friction burn you to a crisp and unless you could maintain perfect composure you'd just roll slowing you down prolonging it all and ensuring an even "cook" instead of an ideal headfirst.

Or just go banzai skydiving and try and beat the current world record.

>>36769679
would you get caught trying to order these online? they're prescription only here

>>36769851
>Fuddlore

Fuckoff.

>>36769954
Hollow point .45 and i know the exact angle needed. A lot of research went into this. The main issue is people do that bullshit dramatic flat right angle to the brain with both hands instead of just taking your relaxed arm and bending at the elbow till the barrels on the roof of your mouth then its only a slight tilt back of the wrist for optimal damage to the brainstem. Any back or forth error still possible due to the anatomy of the wrist will just move you towards the medulla or inward toward the corpus and at the caliber i'm using hollow point would do enough blunt force trauma and energy transfer it'll instantly lead to brain death. Even if i somehow "survive" all brain activity will be dead.
Also I can't just carry a shotgun around town all day every day.

>>36767003
Drive into a ditch or tree at 70 mph

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>>36770041
>fuddlore
Its actually been proven. The "fuddlore" part of that is that people assume any angle will work but in actuality anything outside a top-down non-right angle shot will either stop the bullet or it'll pass through.
However, if you fire at a top-down angle thats off center a bit the bottom of the interior of the brain case is actually thick enough and concave enough it will literally bounce around inside for a bit as the brain will give almost zero resistance and its speed is now such that it can't exit the skull.

>>36770082
Not a guaranteed kill.
I've been in both of those at around 75mph. Turns out airbags aren't an illuminati conspiracy after all.

Hanging
Easiest way if you are not retarded

>>36770210
I dont have anything strong enough to put the rope on

>>36770295
>grab stool
>find tree
>set up rope
>set up stool
>set up self
>kick stool out and away as far as you can
>let gravity do the work

>>36769991
NOT AT ALL. JUST GO ON THE DARKWEB AND GO TO ALPHABAY. DO YOU HAVE 15?0 DOLLARS? IF NOT SELL WHATEVER IT TAKES AND MAKE IT HAPPEN. 12GRAMS OF PHENOBARBITAL WILL PUT YOU INTO MAXIUM COMFY REST AND YOU WILL SUDDENLY BLACK OUT, AS IN YOULL BE FULLY AWAKE AND THEN BOOM, YOU'RE OUT. ZERO FEAR, YOU DONT EVEN SEE IT COMING.

DOWNLOAD TOR, GO TO ALPHABAY AND PEACE OUT OF THIS SHITTY FUCKING WORLD. MAKE SURE YOU HAVE NO ONE AROUND FOR 24 HOURS, OR IF YOU HAVE A CAR DRIVE SOMEWHERE SCENIC AND CHILLAX WITH SOME NIRVANA OF RASHEED AND YA.. IM GETTING HARD JUST THINKING ABOUT THE DAY I PEACE OUT THIS FUCKING SIMULATION.

>>36770433
Why haven't you done it yet? What's the delay?

>>36767103
Find a closed space and park your car in it. Listen to good music on the way out

>>36767321
BAD, and I mean BAD idea
This would keep blood flowing to your brain for the longest amount of time even with your kneck slit

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>>36767003
Not even close to suicidal but if I ever do get to that point then I'm going to test quantum immortality. I will put an explosive around my head and then hook it up to a Geiger counter. If the many worlds interpretation of quantum mechanics is right then the Geiger counter will never trigger while the explosive is connected. With quantum immortality there's a whole range of fun things I can do by entangling my life to favorable outcomes, an easy one being winning the lottery.

>>36767003
get drunk and slice my throat with a 6" knife i have around

>>36770574
It would fail because you are not the only observer in the universe

>>36770687
How deep do you have to cut?

>>36770750
3 to 4 inches should do, but i'm going balls deep

>>36770717
That's not how quantum immortality works. You will die in 99.99% of all universes, but you cannot experience being dead and as such the only you left to experience anything will be the one alive.

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>>36769359
god speed anon
gsfgwgdfgd origi

>>36767003
Only thing I could do is get drunk and shoot myself with a shotgun at close range in the head. But then again I dont want a bloody mess everywhere for someone to find so a pistol would be cleaner. However theres a chance of survival with a pistol to the head and I dont want to become a vegetable.

>>36770905
When are you doing it? I'm planning mine for tonight.

>>36771144
Thanks, I'll be sure to tell you what the afterlife is like.

>>36769679
Please , tell me this is legit or are you joking.if this is legit then you are my god,anon.

NOT safe ways to kill yourself and you might end up suffering horribly without dying:
>pills, drugs
>knife cut
>car crash
>jumping from bridge into water
>holding onto electric power cables
PRETTY DAMN SURE WAYS TO KILL YOURSELF:
>Jump from VERY tall heights into concrete or rocks (the taller the drop, the quicker and more safe the death). Skyscrapers and cliffs are ideal
>shotgun to head (make sure you get the angle right and blast your brain to pieces)
>explosives (go out with a bang!)

>>36771583
What if you want an open casket funeral?

Overdose on medication desu

Probably the most painless way you can go

>>36771717
There's always the classic chair kick into rope trick.

>>36771717
If anyone would come to your funeral in the first place, I would reach out for their help before considering suicide.

Would I be able to slice the artery in my leg or is it too deep?

>>36769869
don't jump into a volcano it's not like the movies you die very slowly as the blood boils in your body

>wait until family is out of town for whatever reason
>go to storage shed
>empty said shed
>freeze a large cube of ice in the big freezer we have
>stand on said cube of ice
>set up rope
>set neck
>kick the cube away
>it will melt and eventually vaporise

>It'll look like a murder, everyone will stay wondering who was the murdered.

Alternative

>freeze knife in ice cube
>fall backwards on knife
>it'll look as if someone stabbed me in the back

Hehehe

My last mischievous deed to an ungrateful world.

>>36772631
You fucking stole those ideas you fucking thief
I heard that shit when i was school

Buy a 20 gauge shotgun and blow out my brain stem. No waiting period, zero chance of failiure, available for $200 plus the smallest box of ammo you can buy

>>36772658
Eh, i saw it in that anime about the investigator kid.

>>36772687
So jealous of burgers, no chance of getting any kind of firearm here.

i have no way of killing myself

i've tried getting people to kill me and i always ask but no one will

>>36772763
you have to get creative

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>>36767003
I enjoy pretending I enjoy life too much to commit suicide

Live and die alone

Patagonia

Drinking myself to death, hopefully

>>36767003
I don't know but I'm gonna need a good one within a year.

>>36771583
How tall is tall enough do you reckon? Got a bridge overlooking a highway nearby that I'm thinking of jumping off and i want to be sure I die. Is it better to pin drop head-down as well?

>>36767003
>What is your suicide plan, robot?
This: >>36767683
I don't see any reasons to actually end it, even if it's really bad.
Suicide won't make me happier, it'll make me gone, and I can do that at any moment if I want.
But instead I want to live and see what happens with this world while I'm still interested in it, or maybe something comes by that'll make me happy.

But if I decide that I want to go I had that autistic idea to do it 'with style'
As much suicide methods at once as possible, like eat half a jar of pills, jump off a 9-floor building with long rope arond my neck tied to something on the roof and shoot mylesf when I fly down.
>picrelated
But I am such a pathetic loser that I wouldn't be able to get a gun (they are under control in my country), wouldn't find access to roof etc. and would end with some usual stupid method.

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>>36773653
How did I forgot to attach a pic? I should get some sleep now.

>>36773687
And that's a thumbnail...
Okay, now I'm finally killing myself

my ideal suicide is a classic shotgun in the mouth routine, it caters to my starving masculinity, edginess, and gore afficianadoism but probably i am too much of a coward to ever do it, not to mention taking the effort to get a gun licence and actually buying a gun

Wait til mom dies, then I'm hitch-hiking to the Mackinac bridge and taking a nice long drop.

>>36768428
>.22
Just buy a shotgun you fucking spastic. It should be relatively easy if you live in America.

>I'm worried that it won't be powerful enough to kill me and I'll end up waking up in a hospital with permanent brain damage and have to live as a retard for the rest of my life.
Why are you retards always worried about this ?
Why do you retards plan to shoot yourselves in your homes ?
Just go to the middle of the fucking woods at night at shoot yourself in the head with whatever caliber. You're going to bleed to death before someone finds you if you don't die on the spot.

Another idea: go on top of a high building, lean outwards, shoot yourself in the head. You'll fall to your death if the bullet doesn't do the job.

Suicide by old age

>>36774392
lame desu

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Judging by how the things look now, probably alcohol poisoning

>>36773537
Swan dive in front of a truck.

>>36767003
I'm hiding helium tank in my basement with exit bag attached to it already and I ALWAYS carry a 10 meter manilla rope with me in my backpack, it's already tied and ready to go, I need all of this because the police are looking for me so I need to be ready in case they start closing in on me

>>36775047
does the police chasing you have anything to do with cheese and pizza?

Go to a ghetto and suicide by nigger. Just wait for someone to try to rob me and resist until they shoot me.
Mom doesn't have to deal with the guilt of her boy offing himself, nigger goes to jail, i die like an hero that didn't fear having a gun pointed to his head

Cons: it could be very quick or very slow and failure is likely

>>36775158
they just don't like cute young women posing to artistic photos man, they don't see the beauty in it

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>>36767691
If you really love your mother, dont cause her that pain.

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>>36768491
They'll convict the train driver. Don't do that to him, guy probably has kids to feed.

>>36775481
A train driver robot posted a thread on /r9k/ some time ago.
Apparently, suicide by train is so common that train drivers supposedly get used to it after a while.

>>36767691
You could just leave as if you were in a hiking trip and "get lost and fall through a cliff
I know of one guy that went to a mountain with some friends, got high as fuck and ran naked until he fell 30 meters into a cliff, but after he died everyone was sucking his dick as if he died like a hero or something

>>36775206
that's actually really fucking smart lmao

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>>36775516
thats really fucked up actually, jesus christ

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Murder some people that deserve it. Attack the cops when they arrive. I'm too much of a pussy to kms.