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Anonymous
How do I explain porn to my parents 2017-05-04 05:05:25 Post No. 36762761
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How do I explain porn to my parents 2017-05-04 05:05:25 Post No. 36762761
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>be me, lying in bed, on my phone
>watching webm of black dude getting fucked in the ass with a strap on
>It's late at night, my parents went to bed about twenty minutes ago
>Not a sound throughout the house
>Accidentally turn the sound on
>No headphones
>Dudes moans are loud as fuck
>Try to turn the volume down on my phone, accidentally turn it all the way up
>Panic and turn off my phone
>Sound is still playing
>"Yeah look at your ass swallow that big cock!"
>Have to unlock my phone to turn it off while the dude is moaning and you can hear the sound of the dildo squelching in and out of his asshole and the woman is telling him good he is taking the dick
>This lasts for many many seconds at full volume before I turn it off
This happened about ten minutes ago. How do I explain this one to my parents in the morning? They already think I'm weird since I never leave my room. I am thinking of saying I got a virus on my phone and it played a porn ad. Any other ideas?
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>>36762761
Just tell your parents you were watching a donkey eat a chicken.
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explain the gachi meme to your parents.
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>>36762830
What? How does that help? They will probably regard me even lower than they already do if I said some weird shit like that
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>>36762761
>mom found the cum contraption
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>>36762870
It wasn't gay porn though, it was pegging. Not even my favorite video either
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>>36762877
>how does that help?
>>"Yeah look at your ass swallow that big cock!"
Ass is a donkey and a cock is a chicken. It's foolproof anon.
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>>36762900
they dont know that though. they'll probably forget they heard a female voice at all once they know about gachi
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>>36762761
It was a funny youtube video
Just show them boss of this gym memes if they ask
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>>36762912
I could be kicked out for this and you're making puns??? I might be homeless in a few days man, I need some airtight explanations
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>>36762761
you're probably a young male. It's completely natural to have the biological urges to mate. they need to understand that. If you are a guy, then be grateful, parents are more hard on their daughters, when it comes to sex.
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There's no point worrying anon. Just act like nothing happened in the morning. If asked, say a youtube ad blasted at full volume.
I hope you smothered your phone under your pillow when it happened
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>>36762991
>YouTube ad
What kind of YouTube ad has moaning and a woman dirty talking about fucking a guy with a strap on? They will know I'm lying
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>>36762948
Anon you're retarded. Play like nothing happened. If they ask, just say you accidently clicked a b8 link to the porn. Have it planned out what you'll say so you don't look like autismo supreme.
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>>36762761
Virus idea is good. It should work, considering most parents don't know much about computers and tech and shit and thus wouldn't be any the wiser.
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>>36762830
This is fucking brilliant desu. Do this OP.
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>>36762761
You didn't hear anything. You had your headphones on. Must have been coming the neighbours.
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I left my prosrate massager on top of the toilet before my father prepared for work. If they ask just say a friend snapchatted gay porn or something
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OP, are you retarded?
its not a big deal, if they dont mention it dont say anything. if they do, just pretend you have no idea what theyre talking about. its not hard.
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>>36762761
Just say it was a funny vid or something that people were talking about online.
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