I'm heading off to a mental hospital today or tomorrow, AMA

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Sorry anon, shit is brutal. I was in for a month last time, had my fucking birthday in a hospital. Felt bad man.

>>36716857
What is it you plan to improve about yourself by the time you get out?

>>36716857
quick recap? is it forced?

>>36716947
well, I hope to get some help with life skills. Like paying bills and taking care of myself if that is even a thing.

>>36716927

quick recap huh.... no prob


>have mental break down 5-6 years ago because of Schizo-affective disorder (think Bipolar II but schizo)

>drop out of highschool in 10th grade

>be extremely depressed and excommunicate everyone and become a "prepper", taking on a very fatalistic view of the world

> get "repilled" by my uncle who is ALSO a prepper, tells me about the coming muzzie invasion and how the gubmint is coming for the guns

>buy into it and go full tiller, training for survival and the like, tell everyone to get their guns and ammo
> buy into "Planet X" and go even FARTHER down the rabbit hole, at this point I have become paranoid to the point of thinking they are shooting microwaves at me to try to "hide the truth"

> get diagnosed a year or so ago and become more depressed because my life is now ruined

>have been genuienly suicidal for an entire year and think daily about jumping off the nearest bridge, but am too much of a coward to do it


> am getting close to being so fed up I've worked out a plan to do it

>the other day I layed in bed an entire day and I have never done that before, family is very worried now


I have taught some 3d graphic art skills and can 3d model/animate reasonably well, so I'm not entirely hopeless, but If i can't defeat this depression im done. I feel like ending it every day

I voluntarily went and was there for a week, it's really shit and so boring good luck son

>>36716857

Honestly senpai just end it, I'm not as fucked as you but a life of mediocrity is worse than no life desu.


Maybe people will think that my advice is bait or something but I'm being honest.

The only reason I won't kill myself is because I don't have the balls to do it. If I could just press a button to die I think I would do it without a second thought.

The only thing holding me up is drugs.

>>36718133
What jobs have you worked? What do you do in an average day?
I stay in my bed all day a lot and my family doesn't even think it's weird anymore, so at least you're not as bad as me.

>>36719089
Mine is guilt.

I know for absolutely certain that my family would be better off without me, but they keep me at this twisted arm's length where they will guilt trip me as hard as possible to keep me from ending it and then ignore me to fail yet again at yet more things.

I've been trying to be 'normal' since I was six and I just can't do it. I've had more jobs since I turned eighteen than most people will have in their lifetimes.

Failing over and over and over again is so disgusting and it's not like anyone cares. They try and succeed, so you're just lazy.

I love being in a mental hospital, shit is always good fun. Don't have to work, get to do activities, nurses bring food to your room, people pity you and visit you. Pity is really underrated. Taking drugs there is awesome if you don't get caught

>>36719128

I've never worked. And it's too late to get a job b/c im an outcast so im pretty fucked desu

I did a stint in a psych ward last year. Meet Stoya and I didn't even know it at the time.

>>36718133

do you by any chance go on /pol/

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>>36719163

I have a similar situation, I feel like the people around me love me for selfish reasons. They constantly berate for being a fucking looser but I can't do nothing about it.

They just want me to succeed so that they could be proud, I know that this is cliche but, I didn't fucking choose to be born!

My mom is an alcoholic and my dad was never around, I don't understand what I did to deserve this.

>>36719128
I'm in bed right now senpai, fuck doing things.
>>36719219
What was she in there for?

>>36719277

fuckem, if they wanted you to do good they shouldnt have been fuck ups themselves

>>36719211
It's so easy to get a fucking job if you actually tried. Find a dishwasher ad on craigslist and make up a resume. Are you actually diagnosed with a mental disorder or you self assessed?

>>36719286

I assume she had some sort of break down because she was hysterical when she was admitted. When I saw her later she seemed to have calmed down.

>>36719277
I'd say the worst part about me is that I can't really blame my parents for how I am. I mean I can perform all the mental gymnastics and say that I am a loser because I was coddled as a child, but that doesn't excuse what I am today.

I was given everything one would need to succeed. I grew up in a million dollar house and was taught up to reading at a highschool level by the time I was in second grade.

I shouldn't fail.

Yet I do and that's what disgusts me the most.

>>36718133
>buy into "Planet X"
what

>>36719274

way too much famalm, gotta sabbe de white race :) :)

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>>36719277
Not the one you're replying to but I know that feel anon. My mom is an alcoholic who has been my entire life and I saw my dad maybe 3 times a year for a few days.

I wasn't raised to succeed one iota, even my dad admits that both of them completely failed at parenting yet they expect me to just pull myself up by the boot straps with total disregard for the damage they did.

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>>36719394

Tbh I think we're fucked beyond fixing, it's like raising an animal improperly, if it doesn't grow up properly in the wild it won't integrate back into its habitat.

I'll never be normal.

>>36719341
You sound a lot like me. Let me move in with you, please~ :3

>>36716857
i'll pray for you OP just did wishing you peace nd calm

I fucking hate the mental health system. One of my colleagues had to see a psychologist and they didn't let her go to work for three weeks because she works with select agents. All because the dumb bimbo counselor can't do her stupid job.