When was the first time in your life you started to realize

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I guess deep down... I've always known

>>36716726
10 years old, when I didn't fit in with the boys or girls and decided to be a messenger between the two factions during recess.

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>>36716726
I think i've always known. But i really started noticing it at about 12ish.

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>>36716755
Holy shit dude i was seriously about to post ur pic but i decided to anime it haha

>>36716726
When other kids fought over NOT having me in their sport teams at school

>>36716726
17 when I lost all my friends and had to go off campus and eat in my car alone for lunch

I kind of started realizing it when I was around 12 or 13
Ever since then, I've just been making worse and worse decisions.

>>36716726
I was 16

>getting learners permit at DMV
>kid there is talking to his dad about the money he's saved from his job so he can get a car
>i was thinking about going home and watching some anime
>it hits me
>he has a job and friends and a gf
>I'm a fat virgin loser who wants to go home and watch anime

i didn't get my drivers license til i was 18 either

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It was in 6th grade. I forgot the context but there was a group project where we had to partner with two other people and pretend to be mother, father and child. Naturally most of the girls were mothers but to pick the fathers out of the guys, my teacher literally said "I'm going to pick the father based on which one of you is most likely to be a father." I shit you not. Pretty much saying "I'm picking you based on your physical attractiveness." but he can't say that obviously.

I was one of the guys that didn't get picked, it felt pretty shitty. It's been forever branded in my mind because I remember vividly how me and the other guys felt during that entire process. He went around the room one by one and hand picked the "dads". Even at that early age, the other guys could tell when they were being told they were lesser. All the guys that weren't "fathers" and then had to pretend to be a "child" to the guys that got to be fathers felt pretty bad and demeaned.

I'm not sure why it had to go down that way but it crippled the self-esteem of a lot of us. The girls laughed at the guys that didn't get picked to be "dads", it was the worst. That entire project was the worst and to this day I have no idea what the purpose of it was or why it had to be that way besides the teacher just wanting the less popular guys to feel shitty.

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In grade seven we had to do this finding yourself/self esteem building exercise one day in home room, and one of the parts of this exercise was to come up with a list of things that you're good at. I didn't have anything to put down.

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>>36716798
Great losers post alike

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>on my way home from school
>walk past 2 girls
>one of them whispers to the other asking if I'm that loser from school
>she tells her to shush and they both start giggling
I wish I was making this up, I felt like crying.

>>36716726
Around 16 when I saw that people treated relationships with the same level of emotional investment I have when choosing the color of the socks I'll wear today.

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In grade 6 when the girl i liked found out i liked her and she went "eww"

>>36716905
Im Italian and these American school "projects" sound incredibly retarded

I legitimately can't think of a time where I didn't think of myself as a loser.

>>36716726
Earliest I can remember is 7th grade (13).
In a group during class I was asked what's the farthest I've ever gotten. I instinctively lied and said making out.

There must have been earlier signs but Christ, Mikey, that was over a decade ago.

I know that before I was a teen I planned to off myself before adulthood.

Don't remember much o that though

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I suppose it's a gradual descent. Every day is a new realization. Really similar like yesterday but slightly worse today,

Nothing helps really, besides the promise of death.

I went to the amusement park with my mom when I was like 9 and none of the other kids there wanted to sit next to me for the ride.

>>36716905
The teacher was most likely unconsciously following his primitive psychological impulses to shun unattractive people.

It it was random and the universe laughs at those profound moments that become choke-points for thoughts and idea of how the world is a cruel and unfair place.

I always knew I was a loser.

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>>36716726
I was in 6th grade.
I had already lost at any attempt to have friends before this but i finally found a small group of friends id hang out with, one of which was in all of my classes so i tried really hard to get him to like me.
>one day the 4 of us (me included) are hanging out at lunch
>suddenly they all tell me they are convening a "meeting" on if theyll let me stay in the group or not
>wtf
>would play tag with these guy and make jokes with them and play vidya at their houses sometimes (lived in a small town in a big city, so everything was only a 10 min walk away)
>sitting on the grass infront of the 3 of them
>talking about all my faults
>"yea anon is really clingy"
>"totally and hes super pushy too"
>that i dont get, i was always just doing what they suggested never over riding any of them[/spoiler)
>"yea hes just such a pushy jerk"
>"agreed"
>"well anon you heard us, you cant hang out with us EVER again"
>"yep, dont come to our table at lunch anymore"
>they all get up and walk away talking amongst themselves

I have never had a friend since then and am 32.
I was told a bunch of times that im the guy that would shoot up the school, no matter how many times i went to a different highschool for a fresh start i was always alienated or too nervous and scared of rejection to approach people after that incident, but it doesnt help i come off as a weirdo anyway.
Now the closest thing i have to a friend is my boss whos always quite nice to me.

>>36717124
Mark your text and hit ctrl+s to spoiler text

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>>36717140
I know i know im just use to using the old way of doing it.
Ill be more mindful in the future.
Im just fucking retarded and no matter how much i practice at something i always fuck it up.

I noticed it when I was 11
Then I became a shut in the year later
Things don't get better

>>36716756
How is that being a loser. You're a natural diplomat and that's a highly coveted skill.

Don't give up anon.

I'm not sure when the first time was, I remember feeling like a loser as early as third grade but I'm sure it goes farther back.

Recently, unfortunately I'm stupid and I have to be thinking of it to understand it.

I'm stupid and autistic, and my big bro even pointed out that my middle school ex friend was more successful than me

>>36717124
why don't you start hanging out with your boss?

>>36717274
He is a hyper religious black guy.
Hes also very intense and talks really really fast.
I dont think wed like each other if we spent time together outside of work.
That being said, me and him are very efficient and get shit done over there.

>Smoked some weed lmao in college a couple of years ago.
>Saw myself as other people see me.
It was pain

When I started uni and realised I am the only virgin here. Even the nerds have had gfs.

When girls started reacting with disgust just being around me, probably around 8th gradeish.

Girls are such cunts, like even in a situation that isn't even romantic they will go out of their way to embarrass you if they think you're unattractive. One time in 10th grade we had to partner up with people and this girl got forced onto me and she went out of her way to be like "Eww," "I don't want to, not with him" "Please change my partner." Fuck you you dirty whore. It wasn't even a girl I was even remotely interested in, we just had to do a school project together and she had to make a fucking scene. God I wanted to throw her out the fucking window.

Pisses me off just thinking about it.

>>36716726
When I realized the only place I can "pick up" girls is /r9k/.

I've had sex with 3 girls in my life, but all of them I met online. I haven't fucked anyone from my own country, and the only chance I have at getting my dick wet is paying hundreds of dollars to cross the atlantic because all the slutty damaged goods are in the US.

>>36716726
Pre school?
Kindergarten?
First Grade?

Somewhere around there.

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I realized I was a loser my whole life
ive always been quiet
Im 21 and for 3 years ive been a serious neet

>>36716814
This is the ultimate indicator.