Hey Anon, I heard you're still single?

yeah. I'm, like, married to god

when i feel earthquake, my hand automatically go to the dick. i stroke the dick and feel i have sex with the earth. all becoming calm

>>36704981
Not to you I'm not.

>>36704981
Yeah.

Ouch. I felt my stomach hurt.
Maybe it's because it wasn't original and god hates not being original?

>>36704981
hi, that is true. who told you?

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>>36704981
yup and also Auntie said I can borrow your clothes and makeup

>>36704981
yeah haha if i don't get laid soon i might as well just blow my brains out right hahahah hahahahaa

>>36704981
I would panic. Feels like a trap.

Yea. The chickadees can't keep this man tied down B-)

>>36704981
"Yeah. You tryna get with me? I'd be down."
That's sincerely my best shot.

>>36705420
I this is how you talk to women I can see why you're a virgin. You have to make a little joke or just keep the convo light hearted. When it's a little underway get flirty. Keep interacting more intensively over time and voila, you got a gf.
Or at least that's how I think this works. It looked like that when I observed mating rituals among my fellow students before I became NEET. I am stll virgin myself..

>>36704981
"I...uh...can I see y-your tits?"

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>>36705493
I'm not a virgin.
And I wouldn't say it in a completely serious manner. It's kind of hard to read a tone of voice through text, though. I would say it to her in a bold, yet relaxed, and kinda joking tone. But if she asked if I was joking, I'd say that I was serious.

>>36705602
Oh that might work. What are you doing here as a non virgin my man? Now you're here anyway, care to tell an anon how to deal with a girl? Im going ballroom dancing in about 15 hours and she asked me to go there but I've never even been on a date so I don't know what to do or if this is even a date and I kind of like her but I don't know here to well and I feel extremely uncomfertable with opening up on a emotional level in any way. How do I turn this into a "anon loses his virginity sooner then expected" succes story. She's a not very pretty qt that I met on fare I was at with my sister.

I'm saving myself for marriage. Please no.

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>>36705527
Eh? You've never seen a pair of breasts before? And you're HOW old?! J-Jeez! Ahahahah! W-Well, we'd better fix that, then! Just close your eyes for a sec, aaaaaaand...

HERE! BOlNG!

AHAHAHAHA! You should have seen the look on your face! J-Jeez, anon! Th-Th-They're just sacks of fat on my chest, ya know! Do they really excite you THAT much?! G-Get a look at this, then! See how they bounce up and down! Jiggle jiggle! I-I bet you want to squeeze them too, don't you, Mr. Perverted Virginboy Anon?! G-Go right ahead! Honk these honkin' honkers as much as you want! Take your time! Heck, s-suck on 'em too! I know you really want to~! Just be careful; my nipples are super hard right now! C-Can't imagine whyyyy...~!

I-I-I-I-I-I bet you wanna see my vagina too! You pervert! W-W-Well, we're already this far! Might as well! I'm not wearing p-panties anyway!

S-S-S-So, what do you think? ...Well, I guess that ragin' 'rection in your pants answers THAT question! HAHAHAHA! Y-Y-You're such a pathetic pervert, anon! I-I-I-I bet it's the first one you've seen since you slid out of your mother's! L-L-Look how wet it is, too! Jeezums fucking Crikes, it's so fucking wet! I-I've never seen it this wet before! Look what you're doing to me, you freaking pervert! Y-You sure know how to make a girl all hot and bothered! Oh, my! Christ-on-a-stick! You'd better take some responsibility for this! A-After all, when it's this wet, it's much easier to cram something up there! And Im leaking like a freaking sieve here! You'd better p-p-plug it up RIGHT NOW!!

>>36704981
i heard you are rather busty.

>>36704981
I have no clue who you are, and leave me alone I'm busy.

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>>36704981
nah bitch, I'm in a loving DDLG relationship.
Cuck

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>>36706839
... put your clothers back on.

>>36704981
Sorry, but I'll have to stop you there.
>boobs are too big
>too much makeup
>clothing is too provocative
>face too expressive
>smiling
>arms aren't toned
>hair too long
>neckband too small
>too short most likely

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>>36707090
>boobs are too big
what the fuck? how is that bad?

>>36707133
Would have to pay for the back problems she gets.

>>36707176
This is some shitty bait you're posting nigga

>>36707133
I don't care about boobs. I'm fine with smaller boobs, but hers just take up too much space.

>>36707257
>arguing against flat chests
>saying that the other guy is baiting
Either you yourself are baiting or you're too insecure about your sexuality to enjoy small breasts.

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>>36707303
Really? Takes up to much space? Those are perfect tits man. There are way huger boobs out there and you say no to the perfect size? Go back to your washboard women anon.

>>36707090
>He wouldn't fuck Angie Varona

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>>36707536
>only one poster in the entire thread knows who angie is
fuck i'm getting old

>>36707656
Why should we care who this particular roastie is? Do you think the people here give a shit about popularity or celebrities?

>>36706839
damn, raging boner right now

>>36707675
nah, i generally don't care about instawhores either, but she was a big thing on 4chan 5-10 years ago so i'm surprised that more people don't know who she is

>>36706839
somehow this always gets me rock hard

Yeah man I hope you aren't asking for your fat friend

Someone figured out how to search by sub count on insta.

>>36705083
>Hey Anon, I heard you're still single?
>Not to you I'm not.
>What?
>Y-you too.

>>36707090
>when she is so far out of your league you have to meme because you can't imagine she'd even talk to you

>>36705166
Underrated post if guy
Gtfo if girl