Job Interviews

>>36698918
Part of the things they want you to do is suck up to them. Why do you have a problem with that?

>>36699424
Is it not enough for them to effectively own me for 8 hours a day? I'll give them my time and do the tasks that I am given but to have to grovel for my own slavery and then pretend to be grateful for it? It's dishonest and I don't like it.

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They ask that question to test whether you've researched the company, which is fair. Culture fit matters.

Though there's also "Why are you the best candidate?", which translates to "Beg for me." Anyone who asks this deserves to lose their pension and spend their retirement age jerking off high school dropouts for a job at Taco Bell.

>>36698918
guess they want to know if you will somewhat enjoy the job or not? happy workers surely are better than bored ones

>>36699603
It's not like the world owes you a living. You're perfectly free to be honest, but you will be at a disadvantage to those that will lie to get ahead. Unfortunately, most people figured this out when they realized Santa Claus wasn't real, so you're not going to get much sympathy anywhere.

>>36699808

>happy
>worker

Pick one.

Why does it matter if the work gets done, regardless?

>>36698918
This.
I fucking hate this ass kissing culture where you have grovel and thank for minimal wage job without any benefits. Its not like you're trying for a CEO position but for lower position where the only question should be whenever you have problem with substances and not what are your hobbies are.

>>36698918
I take bread to people. I have to be a nice person because I am the face of the whole business. Their whole job is selling bread and I am the breadbearer. I have to be nice to the breadbuyers or else they may not buy bread any more. Then there is no more breadmakers or breadpackers or breadmanagers.

So, it's reasonable to ask why someone wants to work there.

>>36700064
It's not about being nice. You can be a perfectly pleasant person to customers / clients / managers / whoever. That's expected. That's part of the job. I don't have to care to be nice to people. That's baseline human interaction.

But if someone in the interview for your job were to say to you, "Why do you want to work here?" What exactly are you supposed to say? "I love bread"?

>>36700064
>So, it's reasonable to ask why someone wants to work there.
You pay and i work. Anything else is bullshit.

>>36700266
>>36700287

I do love bread. But if someone is so stupid that they can't answer why the want to work for me when they even know that question in advance I definitely don't want them.

>>36700308
If you like smokes and mirrors then hire some loud-mouth instead of a person who'll do the job. Like i've said its like they're hiring a successor of the company instead of a simple cog with clear function.

>>36700375
You obviously understand how it is but you just refuse to play along?

>>36700414
I understand that i'll have lie about being motivated and such but it still grind my gears.

>>36698918
This is a by-product of women being allowed in the workplace, as well as the fact that your corporate identity is now your only identity because traditional ethnic and religious identities have been destroyed so you are perceived entirely by what meaningless task you perform to rake in shekels

>>36700442
ah. I see. You have no work ethic. I don't have to pretend.

>>36700308
Well what the hell do you want them to say? Something bland about your "corporate vision" cribbed off your website? What does that tell you? They can read and do a basic amount of research? Whoop-de-fucking-doo, they have a pulse and a brain stem.

If that's really something that needs clarifying at the interview stage and not quite obvious from their CV then couldn't you at least get this from a less demeaning question than "why do you want to work here?" Unless of course you get off on hearing your own words said back to you and you're just doing it for the power trip.

>>36700479
I don't care what they say. But they have to have an answer ready at least.

>>36700514
Well then my answer is "for money." Did I get the job, Mr Shekelstein?

>>36700475
>work ethic
You pay, i work. Someone else pays better, i go there. Loyalty means nothing. If you want to hear lies, so be it.

>>36700744
hahahaha nope nope

>>36700790
Not him, but what if I say that bread sexually turns me on and I might become suicidal if forced to part from it?

>tfw in one of my last job interviews they asked me "On any given day how many people Do you think drop a smartphone resulting in the screen being broken?"
Lol wtf. I passed that interview but turned down the offer because I got a better offer but it still pissed me off.

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>>36700761
is this why all you youngins are socialists now? Real world was too hard? Can't play the game? Your biology degree got you walking tall thinking you're too good for work? Things would be better if doctors were paid like mcdonalds workers?

>>36700790
What was wrong with my answer? You said you didn't care what I said, I just had to have an answer ready. That was my answer.

What would you like instead, Mr Shekelstein?

Because my answer at least tells you I'm honest where an answer that's just a bland recitation of your "company values" tells you nothing.

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>>36700873
I didn't like it. you are trying to convince me and I wasn't convinced.

>>36700855
The youngins are upset that CEOs make more money than them

They expect to make money without working hard and taking risks

>>36700873
>Because my answer at least tells you I'm honest where an answer that's just a bland recitation of your "company values" tells you nothing.
He doesnt give a shit about value and answers as long you're going to work hardest for as little as possible. Honest men are too dangerous because they rarely can be manipulated by ideas and promises

>>36700902
And you'd honestly be more convinced by some bullshit pulled out of my arse like: "I'm a bread man, Mr Shekelstein. I know my bread and I know that Shekelstein brand bread is the best damn bread out there. I admire the corporate culture that Shekelstein bread promotes where hard work pays off. I'm a hard worker and I want to work for a company that rewards hard work like Shekelstein bread."

Is that really what you want to hear? Or can we cut the shit and I just gave your arsehole a little swish with my tongue? Since clearly this has moved beyond an exchange of money for labour and you're just in it for the power trip now.

An employer is entitled to my time and my labour, nothing more.

>>36698918
Because normalniggers love wasting time.

>>36701081
I guess you just can't teach suaveness to autists.

>what makes you want to work here?

>Well, I'm familiar with your bread operation and I applied here because I know what to expect and actually it just so happens I've tried your bread before and it's pretty good.

Look at that.

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the marginal productivity increases you are responsible for by being a hard worker who keeps to himself (i will assume the best case here) are offset, and then some, by the corresponding decreases in team morale and effectiveness due to your presence because others cannot fulfill their social needs via talking to you. in, effect, even though you are slightly more productive than others, you are causing probably anywhere from a handful to several dozen people to experience corresponding losses in productivity.

furthermore, due to automation, you don't really perform your actual job role anymore in a lot of jobs - instead, you simply act as a liaison between your boss and to him or her what appears to be a mysterious black box function of software/hardware (they are especially clueless if they are boomers. which they will be).

in school, the secondary function is to actually learn what you are ostensibly there to learn. the primary function is actually to engage in networking and communication memes, because a computer does most of the busy work for you, so therefore, if you have the type of brain that prefers doing the actual busy work itself and doesn't like the communicating with others part, you are F U C K E D

>>36701217
>Bland corporate answer.

That tells you nothing about the candidate.

Why would you not want someone who tells what they actually think? That person isn't going to bullshit you when you want a straight answer.

Say you're in a boardroom and you're showing off your new package design. Who's more useful? The 9 sycophants who take their tongue out of your arse long enough to say "great job, boss!" Or the 1 voice who tells you that the new logo looks like a penis when you put it on it's side?

>>36701420
>implying I was lying about being familiar with their bread dealio

Oh, I knew exactly how they bakery ran before I went in their doors.

>>36701236
I thoroughly enjoyed your post anon.

It was such a well though out and seemingly original contribution.

>>36701449
We've already had this point. You have a pulse and a brain stem and you are capable of doing some basic research on a company before showing up there for an interview. Congratulations.

My question stands: Who is more useful in the situation outlined? The bland corporatist or the one who tells it straight?

>>36701420
Contrary to the belief that bosses want honest opinion, they want appear smarter therefore being honest is a massive risk.

>>36701545
>he thinks there are only two options

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>>36701236
>>36701527
Same. A shiny gold star for you, anon.

>>36701527
>>36701585
wew thanks senpai. i sort of ran out of space and wanted to say that basically they are looking for someone who tacitly understands all this without it needing to be said explicitly to them, but i guess that was kind of obvious
that's really the kind of advice that these ""career counselors"" should be giving you though right?

>>36701582
Well congratulations your new logo is now a penis when tilted on it's side. That CEO of the year award is yours Mr Shekelstein.

>>36698918
I find this rather funny. It's entirely based on assumption that you are desperate for a job.

When they encounter people that don't care it comes apart. Sometimes they literally don't know how to react.

>>36701639
I guess it's basically impossible to come out with these sort of answers unless this is actually how your mind works.

It's impossible to convince someone you have social skills if you don't. Only a total autist would come out with statements like "I'm great with people" or "I'm a team player". Someone who was actually good with people wouldn't have to say it.

Yeah... People who just want to get on with their work and then go home and live their actual lives are fucked.

They ask that to weed out edgy try-hard faggots that are generally unlikable and won't integrate well. What they actually mean, but aren't allowed to ask is:

>"When I ask you to do some menial, pointless shit that there's no need whatsoever to do but it says on page 532 of our 12000 page manual that this process must be followed, will you ask a million questions about why or will you just fucking shut up and do it?"

>>36698918
>"why do you want to work here?"
lol if you can't answer this question then you should not be hired

the whole point of interviews is to weed out aspies who can't handle simple questions

>>36698918
Last job I tried to apply to, they made me fill out a 20-something page questionnaire full of bullshit agree-or-disagree questions like "I think authority should always be respected", "It is important to get ahead in life", "My coworkers would describe me as *virtuous quality*"

I'm applying for a minimum wage retail job, not campaigning for miss america

The point of interviews is so companies don't accidentally hire people like us

>>36698918

They're interviewing your personality.

If you didn't have the qualifications, you wouldn't have been called in. Once you cross that it's about being able to fit into the team.

If it's a job that doesn't need qualifications, they're still looking for someone they want to work with.

The actual skills of the job can be taught if needed, almost anyone can be trained. They don't want to hire someone they'll have to fire quickly.

>>36702669
You'd think that the answer "for money" would resonate more with this attitude? I'm not here to ask questions, I'm here to do my job and get paid. Put it on my desk and it'll get done so long as you keep paying me.

>>36700266
>What exactly are you supposed to say?

I always just tell a story about how I came in and saw how helpful / laid back/ enjoyable the employees were, and how it seems like a great environment to be a part of.

>>36702776
No, because they're also checking to see if you're socially inept or not. You answer honestly, and you come across like an edgy 15 year old, and that you won't be friendly or fun. Why would they hire you, when they could hire someone who'll do the work exactly the same as you, but is actually someone they enjoy being around?

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People who bitch about job interviews will never be happy. They exist to filter out shitty applicants, do you understand now? I just told you what it all means. Are you happy? Do you not believe it? Still angry? Fuck you.

>>36702776
Of course you can say that. But, then, you lose the job to people who have more reasons than the blatantly obvious one.

They aren't coming to you, you are coming to them. It's a matter of courtesy if you will.

>>36702911
Would you rather work with Coldsteel the Hedgehog or classic Sonic? They both spindash and go fast, but one is generally much more unpleasant to be around for most people.

>>36698918
Say that but just say you will work hard, you do not have to be fake and say you dreamed of it or anything, say that you need a job and you will work harder then the rest

>>36703008
Coldsteel for the keks and Sonics for the kids.

>>36700471
atleast one goy can see through the ultimate ruse

>>36702911
what does being "friendly and fun" have to do with following orders and not asking questions?
>this process must be followed, will you ask a million questions about why or will you just fucking shut up and do it?"

>>36703165
Thank you for your approval of my conjecture. I'm humbled.

>>36702935
People who post edgy unhelpful bait like this get rectal cancer. You're going to die of rectal cancer, do you understand now? I just told you're going to die of rectal cancer. Are you happy you're going to die of rectal cancer? Do you not believe you're going to die of rectal cancer? Are you angry you're going to die of rectal cancer?

Fuck you. You're going to die of rectal cancer.

>>36703185
Why don't you join the military, the mercenary or some street gang?

You'd fit the culture better.

Why not just go a temp agency then you'll get sent places and not have to interview?

>>36703185
Are you the one doing the hiring anon?

Do you think social science hasn't touched workplace efficiency and interpersonal and communication skills (which people perceive as one being friendly and fun for one) yet just so that you can throw your baseless assumption to make yourself feel more justified?

>>36700471
So this is what it is to see everything through ideological lenses.

>>36703185
I wasn't very clear there, I meant them as two seperate aspects of why they ask questions like that.

>"But what's the point of learning about triangles (or whatever), I'm never going to use that in real life anyway"

Everyone probably said this to their friends or whatever at some point, but everyone hated 'that kid' who said it out loud in front of the whole class because it's cringy as fuck and everyone knows the reason is 'because we say you have to'. It weeds out 'that kid', because no one wants to work with 'that kid', they want to work with someone who isn't totally cringeworthy.

>>36703397
It's a valid question that people don't address seriously often.

To argue for the status quo, I believe that if asker indeed feels another more important calling is at hands, that is potentially constructive and doesn't require a HS diploma, then he should by all mean attend to it instead. But from experience, people tend to have nothing better to do with their time.

>>36703397
Would rather work with that kid than "Bill from accounting" who'll chat sportsball with me by the watercooler. It's a stereotype but you get what I mean.

Office chit chat around the safe topics of "How are the kids doing?, How was your weekend?, Did you see x on the teevee" is akin to spiritual death for me. I can't handle the same conversation day in, day out.

Work me and real me are two very different people. I have to pretend to be this person for 8 hours a day in exchange for food and shelter, there's nothing I can do about that but please don't make it harder than it already is, Bill.

If the opportunity arises for an honest conversation with that triangles kid, I'm jumping right on it.

>>36703707
How's your weekend anon?

>>36703896
You have to go back to the accounting department, Bill.

>>36703982
Did you see "the accountant" in theater?

>>36704045
No Bill. Please stop bothering me at my desk.

>>36703707
That's fair enough, but bear in mind you're a robot, msot people aren't.

>>36698918
You have to play the game. You have to show that you're willing to jump through the hoops. No-one wants to work with a smartarse.

>>36704172
How are the boys doing?

:)))

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>>36704346
BILL. PLEASE.

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>wasn't even interviewed for my job
>just sent in a resume that said i graduated highscool and got a call about training
I really enjoy it, I mostly yell at people and get paid $12 an hour

>>36703298
How exactly do these temp agencies work? Have you used one before?

>>36699603
>>36700479
>>36700873
>>36701081

I sympathized with you because I felt similarly when I was starting out, but after reading your posts, I can say that I wouldn't hire you if you were so openly cynical about it. Don't get me wrong, if you had pulled off your bullshit bread answer, and then later revealed your cynicism to me, I would fucking love it and we would probably get along well because it shows you see through the bullshit social rituals we undergo but also that you understand the importance of these social rituals enough not to sperg out in a job interview.

Unless you have the delivery and likability of a stand up comedian, then being so openly cynical in a job interview will make you seem like a misanthrope with little respect for authority. You're right, you're being interviewed as a cog in a machine, but you're demonstrating pretty obviously that you don't think much of being a cog in a machine and you would likely make for a shit cog. No one wants to hire a shit cog.

>>36703229
No fucking you

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>>36703008
>Would you rather work with Coldsteel the Hedgehog or classic Sonic?
hearty kek

Fellow robots, is having a job as a Security guard ok?

>>36705728
Depends on country and position.

Night-shift security in the UK is a good for robots. But day-shift security in a shopping centre or supermarket would be hell because people will bother you.

>>36704714
Punch yourself in the face, you deserve it.

>>36704998
The death of the factory job has crippled us. where once you could get a spot on a fucking conveyor belt nowdays its all social media and normal everyfag interactions.

its still a shit position where some bloated and worthless boomer can follow your line of logic, flawed though it is. This is why I don't feel bad about being a leech

>>36700839
They ask these questions to see how confident you are. If you can answer quickly and reasonably, they'll know you're an alpha.