Tell me about when it all went downhill anon.

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>>36698448
>be 16
>watching a movie with my oneitis
>she leans her head on my shoulder
>the obvious move is to reciprocate affection by leaning my head on hers, or doing literally anything to acknowledge the affection
>do nothing

happened 4 years ago and still struggle with that memory

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When she stopped talking to me 4 years ago.

>>36698656
why do you think you did nothing?

>>36698656
>be me
>meme arroz
>feels guy
>sad frog
>tfw no gf
>ree
fml
i made oc on this board once and i regret it because of this bullshit thats plaguing this board

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>>36698448
When I walked in my dad fucking the dog

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>>36698903
Maybe because I was afraid of acceptance

hmmm

why haven't i tried thinking this through more

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>>36698656
I'm even more autistic

Once a girl asked me can she kiss ma on the cheek
I freaked out and said no
srsly, I don't deserve to live

>>36699999
>>36700000
>on the cheek
>I freaked out and said no
>srsly, I don't deserve

Mentally I died the day I walked into kindergarten. Physically things went downhill when I got diagnosed with my chronic illness at 23. I could bare it when it was just mental anguish. But the abuse from my parents because I'm a failure, being treated like dirt or like I don't exist by everyone I meet combined with near constant physical pain and utter neglect from doctors who think I'm weird has pushed me over the edge. I'm just finishing up some books and games before I kill myself. My happiest memories are from when I was around 2 and 3 where I was the only child and my mother hadn't grown to resent me yet. I remember us holding hands walking in the yard and I looked up and I could feel how much I meant to her, and I knew how much she meant to me. Once it became clear I was a loser, and she had other sucessful children she just gave up and focused on them. Everything since then has been hell. Everyone has completely abandoned me in the moment I needed them most. I thought that doctors would care enough about their work to ease my physical suffering for monetary reasons alone but they don't. I've tried so many of them and they all look at me like I'm a piece of trash, and they see no point in providing quality of life for trash. I cannot wait until I'm dead and the suffering is finally over