hey robots, how do i become the ultimate waifu?

File: troubled uncomfortable glare.png (21KB, 415x450px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 415x450px

Step one: be born as a biological female.

>>36691760
done

whats step 2

>>36691765
Step 2, be anime.

>>36691765
that's it, your done

>>36691777
>tfw you will never be anime IRL

dont crush my dream, lads

>>36691780
What no.
Biological females that exist are awful.
This is already known.

>>36691790
Sorry about that.

File: aaaa11111111111.jpg (89KB, 723x691px) Image search: [Google]

89KB, 723x691px

>>36691820
i dont know what i did wrong my life is terrible and im ugly and i just want to not be this way

>>36691857
are you ugly or just fat?

>>36691965
5'6 130lb

was 113 and looked a lot better, trying to get back there

i have a lot of gross acne too

>>36692160

Post pics, it's probably not as bad as you make it out to be.

File: 2017-04-07 10.15.56.jpg (907KB, 2576x1932px) Image search: [Google]

907KB, 2576x1932px

>>36692173
chubby, acne, bad hair, bad at socializing, stupid face

>>36691730
First, be biologically female.

Second, have a cute sounding voice for discord/skype.

Third, indulge in robot hobbies (anime, video games, etc.) because they actually interest you and not to attention whore.

Fourth, be supportive and adorable while being supportive. Help robots overcome their issues by helping them with their lack of confidence.

And fifth, excercise chasity. Be a maiden waifu. No one likes a slutty waifu.

File: Disgust.png (117KB, 524x336px) Image search: [Google]

117KB, 524x336px

>>36691730
>>36692218
>attentionwhore who posts her nudes online
You are not and never shall be pure waifu material.

>>36692218

i just puked in my mouth anonette

File: 1452822467-2016-1-15-Anguishful-Thinking.jpg (204KB, 900x576px) Image search: [Google]

204KB, 900x576px

>>36691777
>>36691790
>you will never be anime IRL

File: mado87.jpg (61KB, 600x600px) Image search: [Google]

61KB, 600x600px

>>36692218
no wonder you need validation, you're fucking awful.

>>36692283
check

my voice is gross af

ive likes anime/video games since i was little

no idea how to be supportive though because i cant even figure my own shit out

also how else would i pay rent im too fucking retarded to get a 'real' job

>>36692326
>>36692327
>>36692350
>>36692352

why is everyone surprised that im fat and ugly when ive been saying help my problem is that im fat and ugly lmao

>>36692391
Vocaroo something. Tell anon to kill himself or something.

>>36692415

Original anon who asked for pics, I'd smash.

File: You're gonna have to try a little harder than THAT.gif (328KB, 1000x773px) Image search: [Google]

328KB, 1000x773px

>>36692415
>attentionwhoring this hard
We all know you look fine and are just fishing for complements. That or the more likely scenario of you simply finding a girl's picture that can't be reverse image searched and ebinly troll all of 4chan by pretending to be a gril XD.

>>36692218
Yeah you see that shit in your mouth.
Get rid of it.
That one you did all to yourself.

File: 1492805302874.jpg (40KB, 680x848px) Image search: [Google]

40KB, 680x848px

>>36692415

>my problem is that im fat and ugly lmao
>willingly gets a tongue piercing

>>36692426
vocaroo dot com slash i slash s1SjOTcC8d3f

sorry for shower running in background

>>36692415
You're just you, and you look fine so don't stress so much about your looks!

>>36692463
can timestamp proof if you want
>>36692482
got it in highschool with the dumb teenage logic that it would help give better head but getting it hurt a fucking lot so im not taking it out
>>36692487
ty anon <3

also i guess ill namefag now so people know its me?

File: Nani.png (115KB, 415x292px) Image search: [Google]

115KB, 415x292px

>>36692486
>it's actually a girl's voice saying what I wrote

>>36692391
So essentially you want to whore yourself out to pay for rent?

You're here for a "sugar daddy" aka a sad pathetic fuck of a robot who will blindly give you their NEETbux for a moment of your "affection". I see. Pretty typical of a roastie. You aren't waifu quality at all.

You can whore yourself out on a corner or be a camwhore on a porn site.

>>36692516

Wait a minute, don't you have a sugardaddy boyfriend and camwhore on chaturbate?

>>36692529
sorry my voice isnt cuter, any tips for working on that without being annoying?
>>36692545
no, like i said before, i use CB to pay my rent. im here looking for friends because im sick of spending my entire life inside of a 500 square foot apartment and only interacting with 3 people.
>>36692548
yes and yes
im on r9k to get better at socializing
lately ive been too anxious to even get on CB which is retarded because chaturbate is like very watered down 'socializing'

>>36692629
Try living an existence where you have no one you could interact with...

What country do you live in?
How old are you?
What kind of anime do you enjoy watching?
What genre of video games do you play?
What is your Discord?

>>36692474
im a bit scared of walking around with just a hole in the middle of my tongue tho

>>36692629

Hypothetically, how much would it cost to put my penis inside of you?

>>36692744
Oregon, USA
19
Right now Gintama but I really liked watamote, love live!, & dragon maids

File: 1493326291520.jpg (66KB, 749x738px) Image search: [Google]

66KB, 749x738px

>>36692629

>im on r9k to get better at socializing

Go to /soc/ and be with your fellow whores.

>>36692744
forgot discord sorry

fae
#4838

File: 1491334836466.jpg (12KB, 342x316px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 342x316px

>>36692774

>Oregon, USA

That explains everything. The PNW should be nuked t b h.

It's really simple.

Target lonely autists on r9k, quickly soft through to find one truly broken. Not beyond hope, but one you can tell would be desperate for make attention. Make sure he's below a 7/10 or if he is attractive has shit social skills.

Talk to him, find out how best to communicate. Figure out what he likes and make educated guesses. If you're right, you're just like him! If you're wrong then you may spark their interest.

You basically want to figure out what he wants in a partner and become that. Let them know you're struggling too, you need to be protected. Be cute, be childish if that's what he likes.

Tell him you'll do anything he wants, be as sexual open as he is.

It's more a case of 50% being the perfect waifu yourself and 50% finding the guy who thinks he's wanted you all along

File: cathfam.jpg (150KB, 640x445px) Image search: [Google]

150KB, 640x445px

>>36691730
1) Be biological female
2) Be temperate, prudent, just, and brave (morally)
3) Have the skills of a wife: cooking, cleaning, money management, basic decorating
4) Have skills and interests related to adding beauty - music, art, dancing, singing, etc.
5) Have hobbies and interests related to functionality and beauty - sewing, knitting/crochet, etc.
6) Be kind and giving; have a positive outlook towards yourself and others; be loyal and devout
7) Approach marriage as forever.
Not so hard, really.

>>36692218
Self-harm? Are those scars from cutting?

>>36692855
1. check

2. not sure on these

3. i suck at cooking, great at cleaning, money management is ok but not fantastic, decorating im shit at

4. none of this im bad at everything

5. i do knit! i also know how to sew/repair clothes but dont really sew things from scratch these days.

6. yeah definitely not im a depressed piece of shit
>>36692875
yup being a teenager was/is rough

>>36692911

Fae, answer me this before I go to bed. Is it in the realm of possibility that we could fuck?

>>36691730
Kill yourself and hope you accend to the 2d realm

>>36692754
you got it because you like sucking dicks

>>36692774
You still have plenty of time to figure your life out. Just don't procrastinate too long. If you do end up going to college, get a useful degree and not some hippie liberal arts degree. If not, take a year off and just focus on you and/or get a job that has a prosperous career as a future.

I'm a full decade older than you. I've done nothing in my life because I procrastinated my future away chasing fantasies and escaping reality watching anime and playing games. My biggest regret. I lost all those who I cared about over time. Had my heart torn out and grated more than once to women who I thought cared more about me besides how well I played and how often I played.

Compared to robots, you have it easy. You'll find yourself swimming in orbiters since you're young and have a vagina. You will find yourself with more than three people to interact with.

>>36692943
would i fuck a random internet stranger? most likely not

would i fuck someone that ive developed a relationship with over the span of a year or two and am really close with? you betcha

depends on what kind of person you are and if you get to know me anon

>>36692352
Piety-sama please let me orbit you.

>>36692947
fun fact, tried killing myself about 2 years ago and was legally dead for like 3 minutes or something like that
>>36692961
im a people pleaser (shocker) and in high school i was bad at giving head so i thought a piercing would help
>>36692964
tried doing community college but stopped because i cant do both work and school, and school doesnt pay my rent

i wish i had orbiters because then at least i could pretend they're my real friends. i talk to exactly 4 people in this world and one of them is my mother. im just so sick of feeling like im completely useless and unlovable and gross

>>36692965

I honestly don't know why I asked that since I cannot fathom the idea of me having sex also I live on the other side of the country, you have a boyfriend and I'm extremely unattractive both physically and mentally.

anyone know her chatturbate?

>>36692995
>im just so sick of feeling like im completely useless and unlovable and gross
Welcome to my world of 29 years.

At the very least the fact that you are attractive enough and have a vagina makes you desirable. I'm sure a handful of lonely robots here have already added your discord to chat with you.

File: eJwVzEsOhCAQANG7cACa4SvehiBBJmITul0Z7z5OUqu3qFtc8xCr2JkHrQBbo4xzk8Q4Uy2yItajpNFIZuyQmFPeezmZwCjntY4hxmDsoqxTLy3avKlPsD46qz20_t98RxXPD7_WIc8.jpg (38KB, 493x658px) Image search: [Google]

38KB, 493x658px

Do you guys think I can make a good waifu?


Pic related

>>36693020
i actually have a bf and a gf, and wouldnt be opposed to more! we're poly, everyone knows that im dating multiple people and is fine with it.

also if the entirety of my clinginess was weighing down on just one person they would commit suicide lmao
>>36693063
tinylilfae
>>36693066
a few but not many desu

the overwhelming response has been 'boo you whore'

>>36692911
Now you know the skills you need. Cooking classes, decorating classes, a bit of social dancing classes, maybe a bookkeeping class

>>36693078
>asian wearing sandals in house
Take those off, degenerate. Your parents raised you better than that.

>>36693108
Literally have zero reason to be lonely then. Now why would you want to be someone's "waifu" if you already have so much attention? What are you going to give? You can't continue to only take.

File: Peasants.jpg (87KB, 600x446px) Image search: [Google]

87KB, 600x446px

>>36693108
There it is
cutting-scarred, suicidal chaturbate chick doesn't want to be a waifu - she wants more followers to pay her.
Shill

>>36691730
Be loyal and have sex whenever your husband demands it, that's all you need to do.

So are you up late or awake early?

>>36693199
i talk to my boyfriend (when he isnt busy with work or his kind), by gf (who is busy with full time school and a part time job), and my mum (who lives 2k miles away, has a full time job, and is a part time student)

nobody has time for me.

>>36693256
kind of both/neither? i have a really fucked up sleep schdeule, i went to bed at 8pm last night and woke up at 2am this morning. sometimes i stay up until 6am and then sleep until 3pm or so though

>>36693257
I'd make time for you. But I'd probably ask you to cam for me on occassion and see how much of a people pleaser you really are. I have a thing for blowjobs.

why can't you make friends with one of the many guys off cb?

I'm sure theres tons of men that would talk to you.

>>36693351
theres a few there but its less 'hey im actually interested in you as a person' and more 'hey lets be friends so i can ask you for free porn five minutes later'
>>36693334
see above

i dont do sexual stuff unless 1. i want to because i feel like it 2. im getting paid sorry

>>36691730
grow a dick and that is how you become the ultimate waifu

Where is your father?
How did you get into/decide to do camming?
Why do you have short fake blonde hair?

>>36693452
2,000 miles away being a drunk piece of shit i guess
i had big tits and was homeles, it sounded safer than IRL whoring. seemed like an obvious choice at the time.
its not fake, was just cut super short and bleached the hell out of it. recently dyed it black and am trying to grow it out though so i look less like a little boy

Is acnekun the perfect waifu?
https://youtube.com/watch?v=mJ36huw50yM

>>36693507
is the money good, how long have you been on r9k?

>>36693565
i make enough to pay rent, i have made a lot more though (and would continue making a lot more if i ever actually put effort in)

ive been posting for a few weeks but i used to lurk in high school

>>36693378

I'll chat to you, drop me an email: [email protected]

>>36693257
>>36693507
>homeless
>still in good standing with your mother
Why didn't you just live with her? Even if you didn't have a bed and shit, sleeping on the floor indoors would be better than being homeless.

how did you meet your boyfriend/end up in seattle

>>36693643
oregon not seattle

earlier up in thread

>>36693614
was trying to finish high school, her house was too far. so i lived in a car and the school helped me out by letting me graduate a semester early.