/cripplingdepression/ general

Storms are comfy
Bfs are gay.
Good.

>>36631784
There's a storm here too. You in the midwest by any chance?

>>36631810
hopefully no tornados those freak me out
also true
im glad you're good

>>36631814
yup, been here all my life

finally got my neet bux renewed after 2 and a half weeks of no pay at all, eating only bread. Got pizza when it opened, watched a bunch of red dwarf and thought a lot about doing something productive like drawing but never actually did anything.
also flatmate got me weed while he was wagecucking on a Saturday (kek) so life is ok for today.

>>36631784
I feel like shit. I'm drunk as fuck and I want to die.

>>36631851
jesus two weeks of bread? I'm so sorry my dude

>>36631866
Why do you want to die anon?

>>36631877
I'm a horribel person, I'm hideous, dumb. Basically I worth nothing.

>>36631894
i dont believe that anon, no one is worth nothing, no matter how low your self esteem is

>>36631929
Oh boy, I do. I should be studying right now but instead I'm drunk alone in my room browsing 4chan and crying.,
Sorry for bad grammar btw, english is not my mother language.

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>Depression is killing me

I want to drop my job and life and just travel, travel, travel. It doesn't matter how I do it. Hitchhiking is fine. Anything is fine
>tfw losing my mind

>>36631988
Sometime I dream about leaving my current life behind and starting living in the middle of the jungle. Like a primitive man with no one to bother me. It'd be tough, but it's better than this.
Maybe you should try and go travelling.

>>36631977
Wanna talk? Your english is fine btw

>>36631988
Get a job that will let you travel maybe?

>>36632071
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9TdoO2OVaA
this guy does a lot of primitive stuff, super impressive

>>36632156
>Wanna talk? Your english is fine btw
Thanks, my english usually sucks when I'm wasted. Talking would be helpful, I guess. I usually don't talk about this kind of stuff with people. They offer you no help and they start treating you differently after you open up to them.
I want to know, what keeps you going? What motivates you to live?
Sorry if it sounds dumb.

>>36632281
I dont really have anything that keeps me going or living. I just keep looking for it.
SO i guess thats what keeps me going. The search for something.

>>36632355
Well, I feel like this is kinda similar to what I do. But sometimes I feel like i'm looking for something that isn't there. Like I'm wasting my time to something unreachable.
Maybe I'm not supposed to be what I wanted to be. Maybe I should just accept that I was born to be a failure and live like that, or end it to not feel the pain.
It's kinda painful to see people so close to you succeed and you fail.
Thanks for the thread, btw.

>>36632481
>Thanks for the thread, btw
Oh yes, there would definitely be no outlet to talk about sad feelings in a board about sad feelings if not for this tripfag who goes against board culture

>>36632547
hey
ur
back
here's
ur
you

>>36632481
Noone is born a failure, although some of us have the odds stacked against us higher from the beginning.
what are you trying to reach, what do you want to be? If you dont mind me asking?

>>36632547
well, I don't know. This thread feels kinda comfy,
I'm way too wasted to care about anything right now, desu.

Managed to get lonley enough to start shaking a little. Nights suck.

>>36631784

Good to see you Skelly. How are you?

Also getting drunk on beer. This week I made some progress at eventually transferring positions at my job. There might be an analyst position opening up on another team, and the team director said I would be the top candidate for the job if it opens up. Also talked with my current boss and he said that he would be okay with me transferring.

>>36632582
I want to feel normal. I want to be useful and cared about.
Professionally (dunno if this word exists), I want to do lots of different things, but I feel like I don't have the capacity to do anything.
I have ocd since I was a kid, and people have treated me like a special snowflake. Like I'm different and can't think or do things on my own. This kind of treatment have really hurt me and now I can't stop acting like I'm not worth of things.

>>36632668
im okay, ready for tomorrow
Hey cool, you excited for the transferL?

>>36632711
You might be a bit different, but that does not mean you can t do things on your own or think for yourself. I can get how that would be hurtful for you

>>36632711
btw being treated like a special snowflake does not imply being treated nicely (which is the case for a good chunk of my life).

>>36632730
I feel weird when things go right and I manage to fuck everything up when it does. I've fucked up good things so many times that it makes me depressed. Every day I think about the dumb shit I've done and it consumes me a lot.

>>36632730

It's not guaranteed yet since the position may or may not be created, but it was good to hear that I would be the top candidate, and even if it doesn't happen now, I'll be considered for something in the future. Guess I've been doing something right, haha.

What's happening tomorrow?

>>36632799
pathfinder! Tomorrow im going to get very drunk and be very loud as i pretend to be a spiritualist monk

>>36632793
Try not to get down about the dumb shit you've done. its in the past. youcan move on

>has friend he can play pathfinder with
Why do you pretend you're a robot again?

a little tired

i've been trying to meet girls but nothing's been really working and i'm not getting anywhere

>>36632983
what all have you tried?
note i have no advice for meeting girls?

>>36632842

Oh nice! Drinking and tabletop games are the best. Might be playing D&D myself tomorrow.

>>36633027
>has friends
Fuck off normalfag

>>36633027
nice! what edition do you play?

>moving half way across the country with my cat because fuck this place and fuck everything

i.. I'm doing it!! I'm literally "just leave"ing!!

>>36633089

Currently 3.5, we might try 5th once this campaign is over.

>>36633141
>3.5
oh man, you should really play anything else desu

>>36631784
I seem to have weeks/months where I'm really really down. I'm in one now. I wish I knew why it happens like this.

>>36633385
depression comes in cycles sometiems. Does anything trigger it that you'd notice? A change or somethinG?

>>36633470
>didnt even notice my comment an how im doing it finally

yeah fuck you.

>>36633470
nah stress i guess, idk. I think I get super anxious and maintain it so long I crash eventually.

>>36633486
im legit sorry my dude, i must have missed it
which comment was ors ?

>>36633501
ever tried meds for anxiety? THey help me a lto

>>36631784
Mind telling me how to know if someone has depression?

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>>36631842
I'm so sorry you had to grow up here

>>36631784
>getting drunk on beer
Is that possible?

>>36634565
its
something

>>36634584
i drank a bunch

>>36634110
how do you feel?

I spent the last week of school being in a major depressive episode and now I'm probably going to fail my class. I won't be able to graduate and my GPA will probably drop. I already talked about killing myself, which got me sent to a psych ward, and now I have no idea what I might do.

>>36634613
Tired of life. I don't know, that's a vague question actually.

>>36634835
Are you serious, that's fucked up. Was the psych ward nice though?

>>36634926
I was in there for less than 24 hours, so it wasn't too bad.

It was nice thanks to some friendly people I met. would have been a lot scarier otherwise.

>>36634985
That's nice. What helped? Also what caused the episode in the first place? Is the stress and everything about the future crashing down again?

>>36635018
I've been depressed for several years, but only received an official diagnosis a few months ago. As for what caused the episode, it might have been stress but who knows? These occurrences come up without warning. I can be "fine" one day and barely able to move the next.

>Is the stress and everything about the future crashing down again?

I'm just trying to fix my life but I have a very limited set of workable solutions. The depression and mood swings don't help; I make next to no money and my parents are stuck trying to help me when they already do so much. I'm a shitty child and I should have been aborted.

I don't have close friends or a lot of support. I'm ashamed and embarrassed that I can't pass one little fucking class, I shouldn't need help.

>>36635106
How is an official diagnosis done? I've had it for several years too, but there's no confirmation, so I'm actually never sure even though the symptoms are there.

I understand what you mean though, it's so weird how it just comes out of nowhere with almost no reason behind it (besides messed up brain chemicals).

Tell me, what are you trying to get out of college? A degree for something? I've been wondering if it was worth the stress too. Depression doesn't make it easy to do any of it since there's a severe lack of support.

>>36633141
My group is doing the same thing, we're finishing up a 3.5 game and will start a 5 this summer.
Thought thats a funny coincidence.

>>36635173
I went to a psychologist and told him what I was feeling.

Yeah, a degree because I don't have any other options. I don't have any profitable talents, too stupid for STEM, too slow-witted for trades, I just don't have anything going for me.