Psychological Issues #47

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Yay my psychiatric doctor husbando is here! <3

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>>36620453

I don't give prescriptions, however, but I am here. This is my animu form.

>>36620487
tell me about the kinds of problems people who enter these threads have

>>36620516

Often mentioned:

- depression/anxiety
- lack of motivation
- heartbreak

Sometimes mentioned:

- seeing things/hearing things
- PTSD-like things

Rarely mentioned:

- antisocial behaviour
- alters

How can I stop having homosexual thoughts?

>>36620829

If you're a homosexual or bisexual thought, you won't be able to repress such thoughts, nor should you try. Some things you don't want to succeed at.

Why do you want to stop having such thoughts?

>>36620885
I don't want to be gay at all

>>36620611
people are too anxious to answer these kind of posts

>>36620896
What are you afraid to suck a little dick? Are you some kinda faggot?

>>36620896
You're out of luck there, then. There's no real way to stop being gay and trying to repress it will just leave you miserable.

>>36620925
Shutup or I'll suck YOUR dick, fag

Well, this thread is off to a shitty start. :/

>>36620896

Well, you are. Why don't you want to be homosexual?

>>36620902

I'm not. I'll answer anything.

>>36620925
>What are you afraid to suck a little dick?

Is that a proposition?

>>36620935

This.

>>36620971

It usually starts worse. Most threads in the past ten versions started with being told to kill myself, so that's quite OK in comparison.

Hello.

How can I help my friend to stop being a furry?
he's obsessed aboout it to the point it's actually harming him. He talks less and less to everyone.

Don't try to question me why should I try to stop him, just give me some advice to do it if you can.

>>36620323
Hey Nick how are you today? Doing ok?

>>36621013

Find out the source of his obsession. If it goes to that level, there's likely something else to figure out.

What are his problems, if you know?

>>36621029

No, I'm half out of my mind. I had some short interaction with LO, so now I'm all messed up. Day had tense moments too.

I've read your e-mail and appreciated it, but haven't responded yet.

>>36621001

Heh. Did you get my email? :D

>>36621013

Stuff like furries and bronies etc is usually a defense mechanism against building meaningful human connections. As your friend's a furry, I'm already guessing he's bullied a lot, but what are other difficulties he has?

>>36621048
LO? Also glad you read

>>36620976
It's just something I don't want to be, like when you're fat but want to change it by exercising. I hate it and want to get rid of it

>>36621079

why do you hate being gay?

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I'm putting this together as I type so I'm sorry if it ends up being long

At an early age I was diagnosed with ADHD which, until recently I thought I had; focus issues, sudden onset of mood/emotion, issues with aggression, etc. I took a high dose of concerta xr throughout middle school/high school, never had issues.

I even stopped taking my meds I'm uni because I didn't like the side effects and still had no problems with focus

I'm not sure when this all started happening (let's say roughly month or two ago) but it feels like my ADHD symptoms kicked it into hyperdrive
I can hardly focus most of the time, major brain fog, been having intense mood swings, and it's even taking a toll on communication (lately I've been having issues with studdering, losing words). I have never had any issues with talking, and the mood swings are worse than they've ever been. What the fuck is happening to me? Could I have been misdiagnosed? Is this something entirely different that just hasn't surfaced until now? I don't even feel like myself anymore

>>36621105
It's something I don't want to be. It's annoying trying to find other gay people, most are just looking for sex, and there aren't that many around anyway, it's just shitty

>>36621063
>Heh. Did you get my email? :D

The last one I got was the good night one. If you sent another after that, I didn't receive it.

>>36621063
>Stuff like furries and bronies etc is usually a defense mechanism against building meaningful human connections. As your friend's a furry, I'm already guessing he's bullied a lot
That seems to be true from my experience too. Lot of people who got mistreated develop very strong bonds towards animals also. Sure, they mostly don't want to become one, but I think it's on the same spectrum.

>>36621064
>LO? Also glad you read

Loved One. LO and behold.

>>36621079

Do you consider yourself mostly heterosexual with some homo temptations?

>>36621033
>>36621063

Crap, you guessed he's a brony too.
He no longer can 'just' enjoy things like videogames or that shit, as he always end up searching for fetish fanarts of it's characters.
He has done that even with his childhood heroes, making he feel like shit. He takes that shit way too seriously.
Also, he generally doesn't act as a man his age at all. He doesn't know how to normally interact with people (and yes, i know im on rk9, but he goes further).
He's not autistic, he just doesn't know what the fuck to do.

Hey Nick.
I'm the swiss guy again.
Want to continue our conversation?

>>36621124

Describe your mood swings and tell me if anything triggers them.

>>36621169
>Do you consider yourself mostly heterosexual with some homo temptations?

I present myself as heterosexual, but I'm actually just gay

>>36621169
Oh. You expecting tha, or?

Stacey said my long dick makes her anxious

>>36621159

yah, I phrased it wrong. i was just expecting a response email when you said you'd write today

>>36621164
>>36621182

Guys like that are the amplified version of teenage girls having crushes on justin bieber and edward cullen and shit - instead of putting yourself out there and risking getting your heart broken, you retreat into a fantasy land. with bronies and furries the detachment from the world is even more pronounced, because they can't even imagine getting it on with something even vaguely humanlike.

>sources: my ass, but i think it makes sense

>>36621187

Of course.

>>36621193

Embrace your sexuality, you'll have no other.

>>36621225

I'm sorry?

>>36621243

It's probably true.

>>36621256

True, my bad. Right on it.

>>36621164
>Lot of people who got mistreated develop very strong bonds towards animals also. Sure, they mostly don't want to become one, but I think it's on the same spectrum.
I think it might just be replacing human interaction with something easier. Animals don't take half the effort people do and they're not at all as needy. Don't need to act like you're interested in them either to not put their panties in a twist. Can just be yourself.

>>36621256
>Guys like that are the amplified version of teenage girls having crushes on justin bieber and edward cullen and shit
Yeah. I would say that guys who are obsessed with hentai are the equivalent to women who are obsessed with justin bieber. I knew one guy like that from high school, he actually said "Hentai is better, real women smell and hate me". There was no reasoning with him though, he grew out of it on his own, I think. Then again he did have some interest in human relationships.

>>36621190
I can't really think of anything that specifically sets it off aside from gender dysphoria but that's a whole 'nother thing

But I bounce from feeling amazing, happy, alert etc to feeling depression to the point of thoughts of suicide. I can be on top of the world and one small inconvenience can put me right back in the gutter, where I stay until for seemingly no reason I feel on top of the world again

Hi. How is everyone

>>36621143
Trust me when I say I've felt the exactly same way as you, and in the exact same position. If by saying "they're all looking for sex" you mean on Grindr, stop using it, you're right in how that's all they do on that app. Tinder is slightly better as its more of a "dating" app, but it's still not great. Don't try and become straight, it's impossible. I'm sorry but all that can really be done is try and socialise more, and hope to find another gay guy who you get along with. Gay bars actually aren't too bad for that.

>>36621296
Were you expecting LO to contact you?

>>36621309
True. I think disappointment and underlying trust issues are to blame here. What I think people like that need is someone they can trust. It shows that there are people for them.

>>36621354

Consider the following:


https://www.helpguide.org/articles/personality-disorders/borderline-personality-disorder.htm

>>36621374

Hello Ethan.

I'm sure that's the best advice anon is ever going to get on this issue.

>>36621386

No.

The way she keeps it to a minimum because it hurts her just annihilates me.

>>36621482
Do you want to talk about it? Or just not here?

Saw psych and doctor today. Psych said, based on the profile she summarized out of my answers to her questions, that I suffer from high levels of paranoia and OCD. Doctor said I might have autism and wrote me new evaluation, didn't diagnose me for now but referred me to psychiatrist.

>>36621374
Same position? You gay too?

I did mean grindr actually, so thanks for the advice on that, but like I said, there aren't many gay people where I live, so I'm losing hope in just finding someone

>>36621523

Hookup apps always give you a distorted view of the dating market. I've never felt more disgusted and worthless than back when I was using Tinder. It's not some moralfag bullshit, that stuff really corrupts you from the inside.

>>36621453
The only thing is ive never had issues with abandonment. If anything, I prefer to be alone.
I have considered the possibility of a personality disorder though

>>36621518

Not really. Not now. There's nothing much to say, just tears to shed.

>>36621473
Hi. How was your day today?

And you gave him decent advice yourself. He shouldn't take it as fact though, I might have just had different experiences to him

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>>36621425
>I think disappointment and underlying trust issues are to blame here
Could be, yeah, unless there's some disorder causing it.

>>36621521

>autism

Doctor memes.

Good you went. Did you mention schizoid?

>>36620323
How do i get over the fear of touching females in sexual way?

>>36621579
I'll stop using them then

>>36621296
Ok, here's a short summary of my problems.

>One-sided conversations with me talking about an interesting subject or the other person talking about something and problems with the reciprocal flow. Don't think about/notice any subtle non-verbal information from another person. Problems with knowing what is 'normal' and what isn't. Applying the social norm. No eye contact. Altogether punctual language with no usage of tone, pitch. Don't talk very often (only with close friends and parents). Leading to me not having any friends. Don't really have a desire for them.

>Odd things like: Extreme repulsion by certain sensations like touch of strangers, bright lights, loud noises and certain tastes/smells. (Only some of them, not all) Daily routine, which I get upset when it's interrupted or changed. Don't feel emptions for 99% of the time (not meaning I don't have any) and very intense emotions 1%. My body language seems to be misleading in a lot of cases. I seem rude because I don't understand how the other person is feeling... etc.

I could go on but I think you get the idea.
Where should I go for getting checked out in switzerland? Where should I go when I seek a diagnosis for a certain disorder? What do you think I have?

>>36621523
Yeah I am, unfortunately, short of moving , you can't really fix that. Like I said, just get out there, and maybe you'll meet someone

>>36621651
>What do you think I have?
Something on the autistic spectrum. The extreme repulsion from physical stimulation like loud noises combined with inability to understand social cues is a pretty dead give-away.

>>36621683
e-email?

>>36621602
Ok I'll leave it alone

>>36621651
>Where should I go when I seek a diagnosis for a certain disorder? What do you think I have?
I know it's a minor thing, but you shouldn't go out seeking a diagnosis for a certain disorder. You seem hellbent on being sick, which you might be, but you seem very sure of it. And your description sounds spot on, maybe even to o spot on.

What do YOU think you have?

>>36621776
Sorry I'd really rather not share it here

>>36621606
Either way, it's good to talk about it with a professional. And other than that, being there for the person is good enough. Sometimes that one person who doesn't give up on them is the only link they have to "real" people.

>>36621595
>If anything, I prefer to be alone.

To avoid being abandoned? Or because you don't need others?

>>36621604

Day was OK for the most part. No major attack, just cried in the staff room when no one was around. Mostly managed to hide my tears when someone did come in.

>>36621616
>How do i get over the fear of touching females in sexual way?

What scares you exactly?

Very interested in your question.

>>36621925
Wow, I'm so sorry. What do you mean "mostly"? Did they notice? Do any of your coworkers know about the state your in?

I had a bad day today at work as well, started freaking out again

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>>36621895
>Either way, it's good to talk about it with a professional.
What can a professional offer that introspection can't? I'm wondering this for myself.
>Sometimes that one person who doesn't give up on them is the only link they have to "real" people.
You're right. Most people just won't stick around for long unless the individual puts in more effort than they're comfortable with, or capable of.

>>36621651

You're quite unique to me because you're the only anon in my own country.

You should look up schizoid. I'm not expert on it, but it's worth checking.

http://www.pdchat.co.uk/psychtests/spd/schizoid.php

Help. Struggling. Help. Head is all muddly. Battled bloody

>>36621840
I am not sure, but the probability is rather high that I have at least some condition because I've been sent to a psychologist before when I was younger. All because of my abnormal behavior and the problems I described above. My parents however cancelled all appointments and made sure that I would not be diagnosed with any mental illness.

I had written down all my problems and compared to mental conditions using multiple sources. I have therefore reduced the possible conditions and I have the two most likely conditions figured out. They are >>36621708
and schizoid personality disorder. But I can rule schizoid... out because I was like this since childhood and personality disorders develop in later life. This only left me with previously mentioned disorder.

>>36621937
>What scares you exactly?
It's very hard to explain. I guess the idea of human closeness frightens me out. It's like i could touch on non-erogenous areas but kissing situation would enable fight or flight situation.

>>36621980

I've told a few. Only one knows about my suspicions of C-PTSD, the others just witness me being as pensive as if I was on death row. Some may have heard me hurling in the restroom, but I don't know who it was. They'd probably think I'm making myself puke. I never eat during the day, so I have this anorexic reputation.

I also got upset and slammed a door. They probably noticed that. They were in the room.

>>36621937

I'm female as well, and I don't want to be nicknamed "lesby".

>inb4 tits or gtfo

>>36621898
I don't have a fear of abandonment whatsoever

I guess I prefer to be alone because people just get in the way
I mean I don't harbor negative feelings to anyone I don't mean it like that, it's just that I really don't like in person interactions with people, it's too much work.
I can't really ever get out what I wanna say if I make eye contact, I'm always paranoid Ill say something dumb or embarrassing, stuff like that

>>36621982
>What can a professional offer that introspection can't? I'm wondering this for myself.
Sometimes introspection is very difficult to do right. You think you're doing it, but you're really not. It's very hard to do it in your own with a change of perspective.

>Most people just won't stick around for long unless the individual puts in more effort than they're comfortable with, or capable of.
True, but I think it's about the only way for the person to recover. Either that or some major life change (usually for the worse) that makes them snap out of it, but for a price.

>>36621986
Yeah but doesn't schizoid develop in later life?

>>36621982
>What can a professional offer that introspection can't? I'm wondering this for myself.

A perspective that isn't yours, and trust me, that is sorely, sorely needed. Introspection will not offer you the knowledge we have gained on psychological conditions over the centuries.

>>36622059
>I'm female as well, and I don't want to be nicknamed "lesby".
>>inb4 tits or gtfo
that's not me.

>>36622057
Do you enjoy the job? What do the students think of you? Are you friendly with your coworkers?

Sorry for firing off questions, I just think it's more efficient

A feeling in my heart is starting to grow, i have noticed that the world is just, the whole system we are in is pure shit and typical shit like that, but that is making me feel bad.

Well, not just that, or maybe that's a shell to hide myself from what really makes me feel bad.

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>>36622011

Sounds like we're having an emergency.

What's going on?

>>36622020
I'm not saying it doesn't have to be true, but sometimes it's very hard to really pinpoint what you have when it's just you looking at yourself.

I've been on /r9k/ for ... god ... 8 years? During that time I thought I had so many mental illnesses. I am a rather fucked up individual, but many of these were just me seeing stuff that wasn't there, because some of these diagnoses are very simple to make and while this will sound strange, they do in a way make you feel like you are less responsible for things you are not content with. It gives you a certain peace. For me, most of these were misdiagnoses.

Not saying that it has to be that way for you, but don't take self-diagnoses too seriously. Seek out perspective, always. Just like not being able to lick your elbow, I believe people are mostly not capable of judging their own mental state accurately.

>>36622020
>because I was like this since childhood and personality disorders develop in later life.

That's not true, though. Many personality disorders are in fact people becoming emotionally and mentally arrested at a certain level between 0 and 6 years old. Not sure where you found that idea, but you may be thinking of schizophrenia, which develops later in life, around 18 and above. Personality disorders are not like schizophrenia.

>>36622038

Have you been abused sexually?

>>36622152
I'm interested. What self-diagnoses have you made in your time in this shithole?

>>36622059
>>36622090

And this is why we need trips. If anyone wants to mess with you they only need to do this.

>>36622011
What's happening, Facet?

>>36622173
>Have you been abused sexually?
Not as i remember. I guess i've never knew how to approach girls and that grew out of proportions.

>>36622066
>It's very hard to do it in your own with a change of perspective.

This. You need someone who can challenge your vision and offer you a new perspective.

>>36622069
>Yeah but doesn't schizoid develop in later life?

The test I gave you says "usually in early adulthood", but that doesn't exclude happening earlier. I experienced derealisation at 10, and wouldn't know what it was for 24 years afterwards. No adult could help me, nobody believed how I felt and I couldn't explain.

>>36622181
Autism, ASPD, schizophrenia, depression, anxiety, social phobia, psychosis, schizoid.

These are the major ones I can remember, although I did find out some interesting things too, for example that I have synesthesia which I would have probably never known had I not read about it here. But still, I try to assume as little as possible about my mental state. I am the kind of person who can talk himself into many things and when I told myself often enough that I have a problem I actually started showing the symptoms.I guess hypochondria should have been up there, right?

>>36622094
>Do you enjoy the job?

Yes, the only reason why I don't are external to the job itself.

>What do the students think of you?

I was always a favourite. This year I'm a bit undone. Students generally really like me. I'm a demanding teacher, but I'm never mean, and I always understand everyone. I also make the effort. And I'm funny.

>Are you friendly with your coworkers?

Almost everyone likes me, yes. I'm easy to get along with, I always help when I can. I listen to everyone, and most will notice that and start telling me personal things, given the chance.

>>36622152
I've taken care of that. Self-fulfilling prophecies are in fact dangerous. That's why my analysis is not just based on my own experience but mainly on notes that my teachers took about me when I was in school and reports from my parents because I asked them a lot of questions about me. Also I gather as much data from objective facts of my past like: "I made people upset a lot of the time when I talk honestly to them without realizing until they cry" Rather than: "I often felt dizzy when in large crowds of people" Although both might be correct, I can only take the first one as objective truth. That's what my self-evaluation is based on. I've spent a lot of time (2 years) on this while simultaneously reading a lot about philosophy, which certainly helped me making this possible. I think I have the truth, but I can't be sure about that. So where should I go now? Now that it's complete, I want to get serious and figure out who/how I am. THis knowledge can help me design a much more comfortable life.

>>36622098
>maybe that's a shell to hide myself from what really makes me feel bad.

Dig there. Tell me what you find.

>>36622152
>Just like not being able to lick your elbow
Just out of interest, has anyone tried to do it upon reading this sentence?

>>36621614
Nope, merely talked about experiences. He didn't diagnose me, thankfully. I see it as a possibility that I do have autism, but based on my knowledge of the condition, I doubt it. His "official" actions was to prescribe me new medicine, and raise my case to a higher instance with a psychiatrist.

>>36622329
Better answers than I thought I would get (no offense). I'm glad you have a job you enjoy.

As for the coworkers you've told, have they offered you any support? Did they have a good reaction to it?

>>36622278
>nobody believed how I felt and I couldn't explain.
Ahh, man, I know that feel. I went through this same shit, but four years later than you. Really frustrating trying to explain something as obscure as that to doctors who won't listen or even really try to understand.

>>36622308
>I guess hypochondria should have been up there, right?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Medical_students%27_disease

>>36622195
>Not as i remember.

What do you remember?

>>36622333
>So where should I go now?
Mental health specialist for sure. You can't lose much other than some time and money. You can get many useful insights. About the actual advice, I think you're better off asking Nick, since he's also Swiss.

>THis knowledge can help me design a much more comfortable life.
Just one more thing, don't shy away from help. You will need it even if you think you won't.

>>36622410
>What do you remember?
Not sure what do you mean by it.

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Well, this may be my chance to get help without getting help irl, thing which i will never do because i can't trust people.

Well, here are some things listed i guess

There are so many things happening in my head. I'm currently a freshman in university, I'm in love with somebody (though it may be obssession), I talk to her a lot and miss her a lot (she's living in another city, but we see eachother every weekend) I'm not jealousy of other men, I'm actually secure about our relationship. I think the root of the relationship problems is nothing else but me.

One of the things i can't stand is my mother and my father, my father pretty much because he's shit and my mother because she's a whore. Don't get me wrong, I'm not against her having sexual intercouses with men, i don't give a shit, it's that she currently has a relationship and gets in bed with other men/women(?) i dont know, it disgusts me a lot. I hate my whole family except for my brothers and some cousins. I mean, I kinda understand why my mother acts like that, she was privated from freedom pretty much when being with my dad, but still, I don't like that.

I hate the whole system we are in, politically and economically, in every sense, I hate it, I can see the bad thing about it, people are unhappy, and so I am.

I hate being in places with too much people and with too loud music or sounds, I stay stuck thinking about other things.

Sometimes I can be happy for a whole week, but the next week I feel shit. While in the happy week I can plan to do lots of things, but never finish them or never actually start them.

I smoke le weedo 420 xD!!! on a -almost- daily basis (5 days a week?)
And now I forgot about everything i wanted to say, and want to finish this here before I change my mind about posting this. Oh yeah that, that always happens to me when I'm about to say something about my feelings to others. I really tried to tell my gf about my issues but I just can't, i forget about everything.

Pic not relate

>>36622355

No, because I knew that was the point of that sentence.

Let me try now. I can't. Just like I remembered.

>>36621986
Your Recent Results = 58.3%

Based on your answers, it's highly unlikely that you have Schizoid personality disorder. ..."

My results.

Help me please. I csan feel the tendrils rising up. I can;t see them but I know they're there. It's horrible. I'm aware but I can't fight them. Help meNick. PLSPLSPLS

>>36622372
Despite a rather lackluster experience (who wants to learn that they might have autism?) I am feeling very good right now. My new meds and alcohol seem to blend nicely together so far, and this is a high season weekend giving me an excuse to drink for 3 days straight. Good music is blaring, I am playing a video game I have been waiting for. No one is bothering me. There's no anxiety right now or other issues occupying my mind. I wish this was how I felt all the time.

>>36622461
This is my hash, forgot to add it, I doubt someone will try to steal my identity but who knows

>>36622391
>As for the coworkers you've told, have they offered you any support? Did they have a good reaction to it?

Mostly yes. They're very supportive. One reached out to me, actually, two. I'm very appreciated, so I get a lot of support. I think the ones who don't reach out don't want to sound intrusive. I appear to be a very secretive person, and perhaps too intense. I probably give that vibe that everything is at stake with every breath.

>>36622278
So Nick. Where should I go if I want a psychological analysis and possible diagnosis? Aargau, as you know. Maybe someone who is familiar with the autism spectrum but not solely specialized on that.

So the other day I was thinking about my friends
made me really happy

>>36622451

You said, "Not as I remember," so I thought maybe you remembered something but not "as" abuse.

Do you remember anything having to do with touch?

Did your parents hug you? Did you like it?

>>36622535
>Mostly yes. They're very supportive. One reached out to me, actually, two

Very glad to hear it.

>I probably give that vibe that everything is at stake with every breath.

I understand why they think that

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Im clinically depressed, agoraphobic, extremely socially anxious, autism spectrum, and a KV.

Im not a autistic neckbeard robot, im a good looking, thin, tall guy, i just have the social skills of a housefly.

I have no friends and have never had a gf, even though i could easily have had all these if i wasnt socially inept.

Im in college, and i always told myself i would come out of my shell at uni but i still do the same things all day i did in my teens, which is play vidya and watch tv.

I have no hobbies outside of vidya because of depression / no motivation

Havent had a friend since like 8th grade.

feels bad man

Worst part is could easily be alpha male if wasnt /aut/

>>36622524
Situations like these remind me how easily my ideal life could be achieved despite my issues, it would be as simple as finding the right medication that kills the obstacles in my ability to work. Gives me hope.

>>36622576
>Do you remember anything having to do with touch?
not really, it was common in my family to be "touchy"
>Did your parents hug you? Did you like it?
I remember when pops wanted to hug me but i felt weird about it as it was uncomfortable.

>>36622461
>Sometimes I can be happy for a whole week, but the next week I feel shit. While in the happy week I can plan to do lots of things, but never finish them or never actually start them.

Does anything trigger that?

Hey Nick, I started monitoring my thoughts, and I realized that most of them are about hurting people. I was also with my girlfriend, and I said something that pissed her off. She talked back to me, and I remember thinking, "She challenging me." What's this all about?

>>36622480

Try the other tests, on the left.

>>36621651
that sounds like autism spectrum to me, all those things are well known symptoms that i and many other /aut/ people experience as well. ask your doctor about ASD.

>>36622499

Try this: go to the bathroom splash cold water on you. Your face, your chest, etc.

Even take a shower if you want. Engage in physical sensations.

I'm here.

>>36622618
I don't know. But it may be the enviroment where am I living, it is a little house and I lack privacy.

Also, sometimes I sit and start thinking on how fucked up everything is, maybe my main problem is that I overthink shit and make it personal, I don't really know what am I feeling

>>36622568

Find a therapist who works under a psychiatrist. Insurance will cover 90% of the costs. It'll be 15 Swiss bucks for an hour, which isn't much.

That's all you need: go see someone who work in a team led by a psychiatrist. You can see your family doctor to recommend you such a team.

>>36622575

That's good. When do you see them next?

>>36622583

Do you like your parents?

>>36622604
>I remember when pops wanted to hug me but i felt weird about it as it was uncomfortable.

Let's dig there. Why was it uncomfortable.

>>36622784
They are all internet friends, remember?
Though it can happen that I meet some of them.

>>36622695

It's all representative of a specific mode of engaging the world. It's like you're in a perpetual fight. You're in fight mode, all the time.

>>36622837

OK. How far are they?

>>36622811
>Why was it uncomfortable.
It's because being so close to the person. I mean it's acceptable for me to touch to people shoulders and hand but anything below shoulders is a big no. I guess i feel vulnerable by doing it.

how do you decide to respond to here? I noticed sometimes you just stop responding

>>36622875

Why did you not tell them not to touch you? (I don't accuse you of anything, it's a literal question; I've been tickled to death myself and can no longer stand tickles because of it: tickles PTSD, the condition I can never tell anyone seriously about, "fortunately", I have way more up my sleev.)

>>36622800
yeah, they are very caring and supportive. My only problem is peers

>>36622861
One lives in the same province I am now, others are at around 2~3 hours of car/train, then some are 2~ hours of plane and then there are the americans

>>36622921
who to respond to here*

>>36622921

Sometimes I leave, but I always say why.

Sometimes I don't respond to every post, because others are engaging them already, and so, in such cases, I just pay attention and comment if I think I must. I explain this in the OP today. It's related to how popular a thread is.

>>36622933
>My only problem is peers

How so?

>>36622875
I know this quite well. People in high school would always make fun of me, because when they touched me on my back without my expecting it, I would always jump up and feel uncomfortable. Like when you're crossing the road and you almost get hit by a car and you realize the danger. That kind of feeling. Your heart jumps into your throat.

Is it similar for you, at all?

>>36622970
I have no problems communicating with parents or family, but i struggle with social conventions and interactions only with others my age

>>36622841
Could you tell me more about this?

>>36622060
does this still sound like bpd in your opinion?

>>36622977

This is typical of abused children. Always breaks my heart when a kid jumps out of his skin when he realises I asked him something quietly and he didn't notice. It usually checks out too. Sooner or later, I hear about that kid's parents.

>>36622931
>Why did you not tell them not to touch you?
I did tell them that i didnt liked touched.
>>36622977
> because when they touched me on my back without my expecting it, I would always jump up and feel uncomfortable
Yeah i know this feeling. Even when i'm 24 i do still feel uncomfortable by other people touching me besides hands.

>>36623056
I used to do the exact same too. Don't really think it had anything to do with my parents though. God I'm glad I'm out of school

>>36623056
I do it to this day, I have twitchy reactions to surprising things, only now my initial reaction is to attack back instead of run away like it was when I was a kid. When I was about 16, my initial reaction to people touching me unexpectedly was to take a swing at them or grab their arm and yank them towards the nearest wall. Now I learned to just take a few swift steps back and prepare my arms.

Just to add, it doesn't have to be only abuse. I was never abused (by a parent), only bullied by my peers.

>>36622695
I have a question, rather than answer. When you fantasize about hurting other people, do you imagine specific people? What I mean by this is, a specific person, a specific gender, race, appearance and so on.. or do you only fantasize about people in general?

>>36622997

I'm assuming you grew up in violence, your brother's, and you adapted to that. Now you expect others to attack you, and you feel safe only if you attack them first. Just throwing ideas out there.

This would cause high anxiety, which would then cause derealisation. You're out of yourself constantly, desensitised to your real feelings. Always ready to fight. I could be wrong.

>>36622720
I tried them. Under 50% on all of them except OCD (70% "Based on your answers, it's unlikely that you have Obssesive-Compulsive personality disorder.")

>>36623040

No. Avoidant is more likely, but that doesn't sound Borderline.

http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv

>>36623074
>I did tell them that i didnt liked touched.

How did they react?

> Even when i'm 24 i do still feel uncomfortable by other people touching me besides hands.

Everyone, or does this differ from person to person?

>>36623074
>Yeah i know this feeling. Even when i'm 24 i do still feel uncomfortable by other people touching me besides hands.
Yeah I'm 24 too. Actually being hugged makes me extremely uneasy. I was once on a date (well, it was the only date I've ever been on) and it didn't go well, but at the end she hugged me, I remember feeling very conflicted. It was very pleasant to feel human warmth but at the same time I was completely unused to it and felt sick, felt like I'm doing something I REALLY shouldn't be doing. Every second I spent hugging her, I had this irrational fear of someone sticking a knife in my right kidney. Now that I think about it, that fear is surprisingly specific.

>>36623241
The only flaw is I'm never anxious.

>>36623283
>Everyone, or does this differ from person to person?
If you meant that everyone does, I don't. I'd rather not be touched, of course, but there's nothing uncomfortable about it in itself. It depends of course on how close you are to the person. Some random bloke hugging you is of course uncomfortable, simply because it's so damn unusual and weird.

>>36623132
>Don't really think it had anything to do with my parents though.

>known child abuse of various levels
>established consequences in adult life
>"Not really my parents."

Yes, yes of course it was your parents. I have a student who's jumpy as fuck, and he has abusive parents. It's very obvious the kid isn't bad, but acts up a lot. His parents are something special.

>>36623283
>How did they react?
They didnt understand why i was so twitchy about it.
>Everyone, or does this differ from person to person?
Thing is i actually touch other people but i dont like to be touched by them.
>I was once on a date
Dunno i never was on a date. I hugged other females in platonic way but never in sexual one.

>>36623198
>When I was about 16, my initial reaction to people touching me unexpectedly was to take a swing at them or grab their arm and yank them towards the nearest wall.

You're on fight mode constantly too.

>Just to add, it doesn't have to be only abuse. I was never abused (by a parent), only bullied by my peers.

That has been enough to give you issues. It may be some kind of PTSD reaction.

How were your parents to you?

>>36623355
I'm not saying you're wrong (I don't know for sure what the cause is), but I'm leaning more towards what Dan said in >>36623198

>it doesn't have to be only abuse. I was never abused (by a parent), only bullied by my peers.

It only started happening with me really during (and after) secondary school, when I was bullied quite a lot

>>36623247

These tests are very demanding. 70% is very high for it.

http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/do-i-have-ocd

Try this one.

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>>36623256
sounds like we might be on to something. It's just as well, I already planned on seeking a professional next week, for various reasons. If that does happen and you have a thread up I'll pop in and let you know how that went

>>36623308
>. Now that I think about it, that fear is surprisingly specific.

I'm starting to consider you may have trauma from a past life, Dan. Why the fear of getting stabbed? Have you ever been stabbed?

>>36623429
>How were your parents to you?
Always good. Never beating me or abusing me psychologically. I didn't really talk to them much about my problems though (they never knew about me being bullied). I still don't. They were working 8 or 12 hour alternating shifts during most of my childhood, so that there was always one of them at home, most of the time it was only one of them. Obviously I don't blame them, I'm just explaining why I'm not used to sharing my problems with them.

>>36623330

Not anymore, no. Derealisation happens after high anxiety, in order to remove it. This may be a more or less permanent condition for you.

>>36623354
>If you meant that everyone does, I don't. I'd rather not be touched, of course, but there's nothing uncomfortable about it in itself. It depends of course on how close you are to the person.

I meant: is this the same with everyone touching you or does it depend on who touches you? What about a lover?

>>36623483
I scored 7/40 this time.

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>>36623556
No. Well only in school with compasses (not the thing that shows you north, the thing you use to make circles - pic related) that we used in school. But I other stuff done to me, I don't think I need to go into details, it feels silly in a way ruminating over shit that happened to me in middle school.

Never been stabbed though.

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>>36623545

Pretty tame results, on average. See mine for a comparison.

>>36623684
>it feels silly in a way ruminating over shit that happened to me in middle school.
I don't see why it should. Being fucked with by your peers at that age can easily leave life-long scars.

>>36623725
Theres really not much difference between the two.

>>36623650

Very low.

Do you want all the tests?


https://www.depression-anxiety-stress-test.org/take-the-test.html
http://www.celebritytypes.com/dark-triad/test.php
http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20151123-how-dark-is-your-personality
http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv
http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/do-i-have-ocd
https://psychcentral.com/quizzes/borderline.htm
http://www.pdchat.co.uk/psychtests/stpd/stypal.php
https://pcsearle.com/screening/screen_des.html
http://aspergerstest.net/aq-test/
http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20151123-how-dark-is-your-personality
http://vistriai.com/kinseyscaletest/
https://psychology-tools.com/empathy-quotient/
http://www.educateautism.com/infographics/sally-anne-test.html

http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-test.mv
http://www.4degreez.com/misc/seven_deadly_sins.html

>>36623794

I realised that after I posted. I had a memory of way worse results than I actually had.

General question:

Does anyone actually read the archived threads?

I keep the file updated with all the links to previous threads.

I'm here ppl

>>36623839
This is the first one I've responded to/interacted with

>>36623839
I haven't yet but I might go through them. The biggest reason I keep coming to these threads now is because I enjoy watching you help people. I'd like to go back and see more of it at some point. Also, what file do you mean? (sorry if you've mentioned it before)

>>36623866
Hello, are you feeling well?

>>36623901
Hello Ethan. I'm feeling extremely rough because my mother has got involved with a drug dealer and his violent friends again. I'm quite a misogynist because of her, truth be told.

>>36623923
I'm sorry to hear it. What do you mean by "got involved? Romantically? Has she been buying drugs off him? Or something else? Don't answer if you don't want to obviously, I'm not trying to pry

>>36623609
Nice. I've been fucked since childhood.

>>36623839
i dont read the archive tbqhwy

i have a somewhat urgent question today. a little background:
i have an older brother who got married november of the last year. a month and a half ago my sister in law had an unwanted abortion.
today my brother left his vehicle at the house so my father could take it to the mechanic (cause my brother had work and couldnt take it himself).
so a few hours ago me and my mom went to pick it up from the mechanic and my mom thought it would be a good idea to take it to a car wash so we did.
there were a lot of papers in his vehicle that we took out before they washed it.
among those papers there was a little note in cursive that i think is a suicide note (im not completely sure since i dont understand some of the words)
i didnt tell my mother, i just put it in my pocket to reread it.

what should i do? should i tell him i know? ive never been in this situation before

>>36623960
You're a sweet young man. She's in a romantic relationship with him, and has been for five years. He keeps telling her lies about protecting her, while at the same time asking her to lie for him and remaining in connection with African smugglers.

>>36624033

What words made you think it's a suicide note? I think you should tell somebody ASAP, especially if you're concerned about your bro.

>>36623901

A copypasta file. So I can just post all of them in one go, for anyone who wants.

>>36624049
Wow. That sounds horrible. I can't think of what I would do in that situation myself. I hope she realises her mistake eventually, it's really a shame that things like this happen

>>36623980

Hope that's not too literal.

>>36624128
It's a poor do indeed. She's permanently stilted my mental growth. I don't think I'm stupid but nevertheless there's a fundamental stage of mental growth that I have genuinely foregone.

>>36624120
Oh, I see.

Kind of off topic, but I'm interested since I need a new job. What does it take to be a teacher? Teaching has always interested me. I'd love to join one of those teacher training programs

>>36624167
Don't worry, you seem more than smart enough in my eyes. Have you ever tried talking to her about it?

I'm back, what'd I miss?

>>36624221
Now and again. But there's a deficit there. Aside from her sexually provoking me

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>>36624099
ill try to translate it the best i can:
I [redacted name] decided to [take the life?] for different [reasons?]. No one is guilty other than [myself?]. Take advantage of what you want, do whatever you want with the rest. [signature]

>>36624033

What does the note say exactly?

Who wrote it? I say talk about it with your brother.

>>36624283
>Now and again. But there's a deficit there.

I see. I'm similar with my parents

>Aside from her sexually provoking me

What? What do you mean?

>>36623372
>tfw ignored :/
feelsbad.

>>36624288

That does sound like a suicide note dude, try to contact him and/or your parents as soon as possible

>>36624312
She would masturbate me, among other things

>>36624131
I hope so too, but I wouldn't know.

>>36624182

This being the UK, I think you'll find all the training programs you need. I teach in a private school, they could hire monkeys if they wanted. I have a master's in what I teach, but never had any training. I literally started teaching students age 10 to 20 without more experience than a week of substituting for someone else in another school.

Pretty rough. I learned the job by doing the job.

You'd be a great teacher. I'll teach you what you need to know to hold a class if you go through with it.

>>36624288

Contact the signed.

>>36624323

I am not ignoring you. I have read your post.

Describe yourself some more, behaviour-wise.

>>36624371
I can't really think of any other options other than cooking somewhere else, but I don't want a repeat of what just happened. I need to have something asap so I guess I'll just bite the bullet and go for it. I'd probably hope to be an English teacher if anything, since I got a literature degree and did nothing with it. Maybe it will stop my parents complaining.

>>36620323
Hey, you might or might not know me, but I occasionally post a ***Christian General Thread***, doesn't matter if you don't, and one of my biggest problems is answering all the responses. There are times when I get multiple responses and really want to engage in a discussion with each of them, but sometimes I feel as though I won't have enough time to answer everyone before they all get tired of waiting. Also, at times it can kinda feel overwhelming, and I would like to answer them all, but sometimes it just feels tiring.

So, you seem to do this a lot seemingly daily so how do you do it?

File: YaAktkpTURBXy9iNmQyMmVmZjYxOWVhZmEzN2Q5NGM0M2IxOGJmODNiMC5qcGeSlQMhAM0F_s0DX5MFzQMgzQHC.jpg (29KB, 800x450px) Image search: [Google]

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>>36624352
>She would masturbate me, among other things

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

Did I know this? I don't think so. Facet, what the fuck.

How did she rationalise that one?

>>36624445
>Describe yourself some more, behaviour-wise.
I usually put a bit of a distance between people but if i find a person to whom i can click i'm prone to a bit of over-idealization following ignoring that person if he/she makes a mistake. I'm not a very good with a girl if i have an interest into her but if she's not interesting to me i can send a lot of mixed signals.

>>36624352
Oh my god, what? How old were you?

>>36624449
>hope to be an English teacher if anything, since I got a literature degree

You do? I didn't know that! I do too. Lit major master race ftw!

That should enable you to teach way more easily.

Forget about your parents' opinion. It won't matter.

>>36624469
Er, well it was just fair enough
>>36624487
About fourteen

>>36624501
Jesus. That's terrible. Did you ever talk about it afterwards? Does she regret it?

>>36624468

I used to do Christian threads on /b/, answering questions for 10, 14 hours in a row. Legendary threads.

I type really fucking fast is what I do. It was easier with my mechanical keyboard, now I'm stuch with absolute horseshit.

The only way I could do this, here, was to just read, write, post, read, write, post, nonstop.

It's getting to the point where I can't fully do it now. In my Christian threads, I'd often be 45 minutes late. Here, I get 30 minutes late sometimes, even when I write nonstop.

With regular anons here, they handle people and provide interaction while I'm responding to everyone. It's becoming a team effort, so it's more manageable. Like a club. Considering having some assistants.

Where do you hold your thread?

>>36624494
>I do too. Lit major master race ftw!

Oh cool! Do you read a lot?

>That should enable you to teach way more easily.

Excellent. I'll look right away for training courses. I'll take what I can get

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>>36624485
>if i find a person to whom i can click i'm prone to a bit of over-idealization following ignoring that person if he/she makes a mistake.

Right in the feels.

Can you explain the process of ignoring someone for a mistake after having idealised them so much?

>>36624554
No. She believes that she did nothing wrong and it's selfish of me to blame her for my problems

>>36624501
>Er, well it was just fair enough

She said that? How did that happen? I mean, did you freeze? Did you fight?

Holy shit...

>>36624592
>Oh cool! Do you read a lot?

I used to do little else. Nowadays I only read 4chan posts, but I have a lot of books in my apartment.

>Excellent. I'll look right away for training courses. I'll take what I can get

Excellent idea.

Ethan, the literary cook.

>>36624621

I'll never let go of this one. Your mother is fucking insane.

Share more.

>>36624606
>Can you explain the process of ignoring someone for a mistake after having idealised them so much?
I just ignore completely like stop talking at all. I mean i just do my own thing and i stop finding that person interesting to talk to. Usually when my mood strikes i cut people off - i've done it couple of times.

>>36624573
>With regular anons here, they handle people and provide interaction while I'm responding to everyone. It's becoming a team effort, so it's more manageable. Like a club. Considering having some assistants.
Yeah, that never happens for me. It's always like it's me against the world on 4chan

>Where do you hold your thread?
I post on r9k although I posted on /pol/ once and I actually got good responses. It was great! My first ever religion thread was on /pol/ and it was legendary as well. *looks out window nostalgically* but I guess for some reason I just prefer r9k

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>>36620323
How do I be a good employee?

>>36624621

For my general education on narc pieces of shit, might you describe the kind of arguments she'd use to defend masturbating her own teenage son?

You can't make this shit up.

>>36624682

How the fuck is this possible?

I've seen it with my own eyes, though. I'm asking because I cannot ever do this to anyone.

>>36624706
>Implying I was a teenager
Preteen my good Lord

This week has been pretty tough for me and it isn't getting any better with spending my birthday alone tomorrow, the one day I especially don't want to spend alone or rather the day I'm supposes to be happy. I have noticed that I still feel lonely even in the presence of others and overall having an undaunting sense of worthlessness due to me thinking about what I could have done differently in the past to have bettered myself now, and be free of strain. Reveling in the realizations of everyday life with a perpetual cycle of meaningless droning to amount to nothing in the end. A poor player in the world of apparent infinite possibilities, reduced to a former shell of a human who can only sulk in anger instead of being productive. This may be the last post I make depending on how things go in the near future. I commend those who work here to help and give my regards to op, thank you.

>>36624621
Wow, does she not realise that that's completely wrong? Do you ever try and convince her of her mistakes? I would honestly have just cut contact at this point

>>36624722
>How the fuck is this possible?
It's possible because to me people are just things (no edgelording). What i mean by this that i have very shallow connection with them and breaking it is not difficult.

>>36624689

Use a trip. You're bound to attract followers. If they stick around, they can become allies. If you don't do the thread regularly, just alert them by e-mail when you open one, or something.

>>36624704
Number 1: SHOW UP ON TIME
Number 2: DO YOUR JOB
That's it.

>>36624704

Be good at what you're paid to do.

>>36624758

You said 14.

But yeah, share more about this sickening mother of yours.

>>36624799
>Use a trip
What is?

>>36620323
Just ADHD, autism.
Basically I'm a social retard.
You have to design things for me if you want me to do something.

Just.
Eh.

>>36624775
Come back tomorrow, I'll wish you a happy birthday. And in case you don't show back up, Happy almost Birthday!

>>36624661
>I used to do little else. Nowadays I only read 4chan posts, but I have a lot of books in my apartment.

Nice, I've been getting more and more into reading lately. Aside from here, /mu/ and /lit/ are all I visit.

Also, I've never been fired up until now, but shouldn't they give a fair warning that I'm going to be leaving, instead of just one day? I swear I've heard about "two weeks notice", or is that just for resignations?

>>36624845
The string of nonsense behind Nick and a few others' names.

>>36624825
>>36624818
>Be good at what you're paid to do.
Ok, but how about having a good relationship with the boss? Like so he doesn't just see me as lame but also kinda like a work buddy. What I'm trying to say is how do I get on his good side. I know doing your work can help but I just wanna be more than just a workaholic root who clocks in then leaves with little to no contact with people.

>>36620323
I don't know if you remember me, but the other day I had a story about my girlfriend Harriet and how she accused me (violently) of cheating on her with her alter ego, for lack of a better term.

She has now taken up residence in a mental hospital. I was told that I really shouldn't have contact with her,until they have a better handle on the situation, and I don't think she's allowed any visitors but her parents. Do you have any idea how long they usually keep people committed for? Or at least when they stop holding them incommunicado?

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>>36624338
>>36624388
i guess i'll have to confront my brother about it?
im not very tactful though.
how do i go about telling him i know he planned a suicide and that we care for him. i dont think he will commit suicide now since my sister in law is pregnant again and it looks like this baby will make it but im still worried about him. i thought i was the only suicidal one

>>36624775

Very welcome.

Tell you what, come tomorrow. We'll celebrate your birthday together! OK?

>>36624790
>It's possible because to me people are just things (no edgelording). What i mean by this that i have very shallow connection with them and breaking it is not difficult.

Just as I feared.

How do you idealise someone?

>>36624845

In the name field, write this:

"Robert ##485632"

The number can be anything you want, it's your password. It'll show up as a "tripcode". This is to be sure only you can use your trip. That's how I prove that I'm me.

>>36624846

Probably wrong on most of that list.

Make a list of symptoms.

>>36625024
>How do you idealise someone?
I just find that person to be comfortable with and want to spend more time with him/her. If they dont want to be spend time, i cut them off.

>>36624916
>Ok, but how about having a good relationship with the boss? Like so he doesn't just see me as lame but also kinda like a work buddy.
I don't know yhis feel. Boss knows I'm a major workaholic, but because I get ahit done he trusts me.
What I'm trying to say is how do I get on his good side. I know doing your work can help but I just wanna be more than just a workaholic root who clocks in then leaves with little to no contact with people
First you have to interact positively woth people. Then go above and beyond your job description. This makes you exemlary to the boss(es).>>36620323

>>36624916

Ask him questions, see how he reacts. If he gives you short answers and seems busy, don't insist.

If he gives longer answers, ask some more. Play it by year. Same way you'd make a friend.

>>36625056
IS there a maximum and minimum amount of numbers that can be put after the #?

>>36624959

I remember you.

They usually keep them for however long they need to cease being a danger to themselves or others. So I don't know. Contact her parents and see what's up?

>>36624997

Don't go full frontal then. Ask him how he is, face to face. See how he responds.

I doubt people casually forget suicide notes in cars. He may have wanted people to find it.

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>>36620323
Hate I didn't get to hang around much today, its the one day a week I can actually catch my neet friends online at human hours and Smite it up. Gotta run to practice, see ya tomorrow. Pic related, to trigger anti-weaboos, my forms weapon for martial arts.

>>36625096

What kind of mistakes makes you cut them off?

>>36625215
>What kind of mistakes makes you cut them off?
Basically not spending time with me or not writing to me.

>>36625006
I suppose so, but I wouldn't want to burden you or others with that.

I'm back pls help

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>>36625196
my brother is very disorganized, his car is the center of his disorganization. i found the note crumpled along other papers. i bet he thought about throwing it away or something once he got home or to work and he forgot about it

>>36625134

I've never tried. I guess not. Go crazy, try!

I'll try right here.

>>36625200

Nice!!! Have fun!

>>36625257
You're not a burden, we welcome more people to show up and hang out.

>>36625257

I know what it's like to have nobody to celebrate your birthday with. We're here for you. You're not a burden.

>>36625257

I'd be happy to.

>>36625258

What can we do to help you? I sent you an e-mail.

Is it fine to threat to kill a person's pet rat, because it ate my food?

>>36625413

No, that's absolutely psycho, in common parlance.

>>36625425
I kept telling her to put it in the other cage so it wouldn't get out. She didn't, it got out, and I told her next time I'm killing it.

>>36625510

Is it the pet's fault? No.

Should the pet be punished? No.

Is it fair to kill the pet to punish its owner? No.

Solutions: change cage yourself; discuss this more until she is convinced.

>>36625542
Well it's either death or she's getting rid of it. It's strange, because I yelled at her, but I wasn't actually mad.

>>36625297
And made it. Now just around 15 minutes of waiting before sensei gets here to unlock doors and another 20 before it starts. I always got everywhere 5-10 minutes early, now I leave half an hour even sooner than that because if someone's laying on the road I don't want to be late wherever I'm going. But I wouldn't be able to simply drive away

>>36625573
>because I yelled at her, but I wasn't actually mad.

Maybe you were, but couldn't feel it. Maybe you're so disconnected from your feelings and yourself that even this much you can't feel.

How do you get it through to counselors that you have a deep mistrust in mind-altering drugs being offered as a solution to your problems? Why is this not one of the first things they ask at the start of a chain of sessions with them? Just a simple "do you wish for me to avoid suggestions that revolve around drugs, and instead simply TALK to you in order to get everything off of your chest".

"Here take these drugs, just ignore all the side-effects and the documented extremities that has caused among people in the past".

Yeah no, last time you guys did that someone shot up a fucking school because they became even more psychotic than before the drug. I'm not taking it.

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>>36625583

Is this serious? Do you mean it?

>>36625669
>How do you get it through to counselors that you have a deep mistrust in mind-altering drugs being offered as a solution to your problems? Why is this not one of the first things they ask at the start of a chain of sessions with them? Just a simple "do you wish for me to avoid suggestions that revolve around drugs, and instead simply TALK to you in order to get everything off of your chest".

Mine asked if I wanted medication to help me, and I said I was skeptical of meds. She never once brought the subject up again.

>>36625669
Initiate that conversation. Tell thim immediately that you distrust big pharma and drugs.

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>>36625686
Yup. Sitting here waiting. Been in this spot since my last post. Also all white isn't my style, but rules is rules.

>>36625714
>>36625708

Thank you.
Also how would you word it to them saying you would prefer a male to talk to?
I kinda had a lot of women abuse me as a kid, I even mentioned this and how it built mistrust in them...yet they didn't even ask whether I felt comfortable speaking to a woman about it.

>>36625809
do you mean with practice, or with waiting?

>>36625845
>Also how would you word it to them saying you would prefer a male to talk to?

Try this: "I would prefer a male to talk to."

My LO wanted a male to talk to, receptionist asked her why. She said, "Well, if you give me a female therapist, I will fantasise about her and this will disturb me." Reception was like, "Oh, OK."

You don't even have to state your reason. I always made a point to choose a female therapist.

>>36625856

Do you train in katana duels?

Judo? Karate?

>>36625897
Tae Kwon Do, Tai Juitsu, and we not long ago started some Tai Chi. With the sword, it is only weapon forms. No people-to-people weapons in my circuit. I think there is some in Kendo, not sure.

>>36625666
Maybe, maybe not. I might be a super villain in disguise that has the magnificent capability to not care about shit.

>>36625888
Thank you Nick, appreciate it.

>>36625897
Class is starting, I'll be back for a few around 8:20pm if thread is still up.

We're in a shameful state. Who'd like to hear a monologue?

>>36626027

Pretty nice.

Raioli

>>36626142

No problem. May I ask why you'd prefer a man? Always curious, me.

>>36626201

Not sure what your local time is. But probably.

>>36626218

Go ahead.

>>36626285
Sexual, physical and emotion abuse via family and friends. Only able to attract women who are either abusive or have been abused, or are alcoholics/druggies, etc. Just really aren't able to relate to women at all when speaking from my mind, it feels so awkward.

I would like to participate but I cannot find a reason worth exploring. Just saying hi, I suppose. I see these threads and I don't think they're beneficial, but I like looking into the windows of people's private lives you might say. I had a therapist just like you and she quit her job because of me.

Could I pls ring someone?

>>36626377

Just to be sure I understand: your abusers were females?

Oddly, for my part, I relate more to women. I'm one of the girls.

>>36626441
>>your abusers were females
Yes.

>>36626431

What's going on? Share.

>>36626470
I'm having a bit of a rough one. Instead of being emotionally honest, how abouit a monologue? Gizza link

>>36626512

Have at it.

No clue what a gizza link is.

>>36626524
I'm juxt saying, whatever link I will slay

>>36626524
gizza = give me a.

A link to what?

>>36626701
I do believe they wish to initiate a chat with you outside of this web domain.. via an external application.

I'm in your room, Facet.

>>36626781
Give us a soliloquy and I'll fucking slay it

>>36620323
Is there any hope for the anally born? I'm just sick of being a literally worthless human being.

>>36626986

Slay this.

To be, or not to be- that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them. To die- to sleep-
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heartache, and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to. 'Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die- to sleep.
To sleep- perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub!
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause. There's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life.
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
Th' oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of despis'd love, the law's delay, 1765
The insolence of office, and the spurns
That patient merit of th' unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? Who would these fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death-
The undiscover'd country, from whose bourn
No traveller returns- puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry
And lose the name of action.- Soft you now!
The fair Ophelia!- Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins rememb'red.

>>36627002

Why do you feel worthless?

>>36627205
I don't feel worthless, I AM worthless. I'm an assbaby. I'm literally a mutant born out of an ectopic pregnancy and somehow managed to survive. But I'm in no way as physically or mentally capable as a normal person. There is literally nothing I can do as well as an average person. I get dizzy when I stand up too quickly. I smell like sour milk no matter how well I wash. I have trouble remembering things and I can't draw simple logical inferences. I am a waste of human flesh.

>>36627314
>. But I'm in no way as physically or mentally capable as a normal person. There is literally nothing I can do as well as an average person.

You can spell better than 95% of posters on YouTube. That's gotta count for something.

>>36627046
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1m3EMAc0a8R
Here it is

>>36627467

Very nice.

I have to say, on a purely subjective level, and I could be wrong and biased, but I sometimes feel like I can hear you shifting.

At one point, I felt very, very ill at ease. To the point of feeling actual fear.

>>36627639
Yeah? How so?

>>36627754

It feels like I sense something very wrong. Like you're about to break. I think I'd be very, very tense around you.

>>36627792
At what point?

>>36627811

Near the end I believe, especially the parts where you raise your voice.

It's like you're always on edge. Maybe I'm just imagining things based on what I know of you. I don't know.

>>36627397
>That's gotta count for something.
No it doesn't and we both know it.

So the other day I was talking to a guy on the Internet, who I later found out is 13, and I asked him what a friend is
he simply said someone that you love and loves you back (it works better in Italian)
and that made me think.

>>36627881

Uh, it does. It very much does.

>>36627890
>he simply said someone that you love and loves you back (it works better in Italian)

Well then, say it in Italian, ragazzo.

>>36628043
what he said was
qualcuno a cui vuoi bene e che ti vuole bene,
but exactly what he said isn't the point here
the point is that for the first time in forever I actually have the definition of friend.

>>36628103
>qualcuno a cui vuoi bene e che ti vuole bene,

My French helps me understand this, we say, "vouloir du bien" to say, "to mean well", so I get it. It's a good definition.

It's very good.

>the definition of a friend

That sounds good too.

>>36627999
So, you think that the defining part of the human experience is being able to spell correctly? That's kind of a pathetic existence.

>>36628154

You said you weren't as capable as the majority of people, I gave you an example where this wasn't true.

That you're trying to twist this into something else to justify being aggressive towards me makes me sad.

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Time for me to sleep.

Night all!

>>36628141
because in the past when people talked about friends I would always say, what's a friend?
meaning that I didn't have, but also as the actual question.
but now I know, so maybe after all there might be some people IRL that I could start calling friends, but I still don't care about them as much as my Internet friends.

>>36628254
Night Nick! See ya later

can anyone think of a reason to live for 21 year oldNEET with no friends, no gf, bad genetics, social anxiety and depression? This last month has been overwhelmingly hard. I can't shake that "I wish I was 16-18 in school again" or "I wish I was 13 kid again going Summer camp" or "I wish my parents would just hold me".

I'm even doing something productive these past few days up until 50days from now and have to take breaks to cry alone. I know crying makes me a faggot but otherwise I'm numb from the sadness and just feel incredibly tired.

>>36629264
anyone know if having sex will help me? >>36628736

I don't think it will but might give me some confidence

My mind isn't what it used to be

>>36620323
Holy shit this thread is good, this brings up a lot of intresting questions and thoughts. I wish I knew about these threads sooner. :P

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>>36630613
>:P

Say Joy Lane

>>36620323
Histrionic personality disorder
Schizotypal personality disorder
I constantly feel an urge to touch living things and play with them. My romantic life is erratic; I'm a twink but an "acquired taste."
By this, I mean my train of thought is hard to follow for people, I push a genius IQ, and people either love me and accept my insight and humor as admirable or they hate my guts and think I'm creepy/annoying.

I want to know how to self-treat. What things can I tell myself, what behaviors should I hone, to become more normal/ less flamboyant and dramatic?

>>36631069
>I want to know how to self-treat. What things can I tell myself, what behaviors should I hone, to become more normal/ less flamboyant and dramatic?
you're a genius, figure it out by yourself

>>36631189
Tried and failed, ended up giving myself OCD and having to self-treat THAT.

>>36631215
Oregano, that was me.
Mr. Cool the Most Original

>>36631215
>Tried and failed
guess you're the dumb kind of genius :)

I know I'm coming in really late but i hope you're still here
For the longest time I've struggled with religion. I grew up in a religious house that was very open minded. And I mean that in a way that they were open to concepts and very deep thinking which they taught me. And why in theory this seems like a good thing it was way to much for me to handle at that age so I ended up never being very confident in my believes because I always felt like there was more to it that I didn't understand and that I was condemned to hell. It got so bad that I would have random moments where I would start crying uncomfortably and either my parents or my sister would have to try to calm me down. Once I was in about middle School I started having very bad depression and thought I was unsaveable and that it was God's plan for me to grow up to be some sort of horrible person. My logic for this was that I was like the ferro of Egypt when God purposely hardened his heart to not let the Jewish people go. Later I grew out of that type of thinking but still struggled with knowing if I was truly saved which is why I'm religious but I'm so scared of being religious that it's hard to commit to any kind of religion
(sorry if this is really badly put together, I'm very sleepy currently. I'm also probably leaving out see important details)

>>36631309
I misspelled a lot of shit

>>36631263
The best kind.
Mr. Cool the Most Original

>>36631309
Similar situation here. What helped me, however, was attending our Presbytery, whose pastor was a historical perspective genius. Never once were we hit with a Jeremiad, never once were we hit up for more cash than we could spare, never once were we given one-sided arguments.

Just find a good pastor for whatever you decide to settle down with. Though I'd certainly like to see it be Christ-ey.
Mr. Cool the Most Original

>>36631309
>>36631352
Its ok I got the general point. I think. I'm a simple man so forgive me if some higher point go well above my head.
You were raised a skeptic. Question everything, especially your own beliefs and arguments right? So raised in this environment, with no firm ground to base beliefs on except that everything you beieve could and is probably wrong, you never had the confidence of belief. Of faith. You were TRAINED to not accept a belief, no matter how much you want to. I don't know how to help you, but maybe knowing your problem can help you counter your, I hate to use the word, but your indroctrination.