/r9k/ is full of inane bullshit. Let's talk about shitty birds.
This species of flying asshole is called a spoonbill. It is one of ugliest birds on the planet and spends all its time walking around in shallow water, stinking and being ugly. Not only that but it makes a noise that sounds like someone letting air out of a balloon.
>autistic kid who designed fantasy weapons with random protruding shit designs a bird
I just wanted to post this nice birdo
Mallards on the other hand are actual rapists
This ogre piece of shit """bird""" is called a cassowary. It's Actually not a bird but, rather, some kind of dinosaur with a beak. It does not fly and is about the size of a goat. It is extremely aggressive, can rip your guts out with a single strike and it sounds like this (turn up your bass):
https://youtu.be/4dcQO6Zb8Eg
This thing is made of nightmares and has been known to kill peoples' dogs.
See this? It's an infected rhino's dick with cancer, right? Nope! It's actually a helmeted hornbill. This ugly piece of shit flies around making sounds like someone is projectile vomiting. Imagine trying to sleep and hearing someone having a seizure outside your window, so you rush to help them only to be met by satan in bird form ripping all the berries from your favorite bush.
>>36617980
>It's Actually not a bird but, rather, some kind of dinosaur with a beak.
All birds are dinosaurs, not all dinosaurs are birds.
That kind of phrasing you do belongs on >>>/reddit/
"Oh shit...", you say, "what is wrong with this poor deformed bird? I think we should call animal control! This poor bird clearly has zika, down syndrome, radiation poisoning and several other mutations! Someone has been toxic waste by my home and it has effected the wildlife!"
You be wrong. This genetic freak is actually an entire species of bird called a potoo. Sounds kinda like "poopoo", doesn't it? Fitting, considering all it does is stink, be ugly and smell like shit.
By the way, these mouths are like 90% of their bodies which earned them the nickname "frogmouth bird". Seriously, go look at some pics of these things. They're scary as hell when their maws full open up.
>>36618199
Meme elsewhere thanks. Go back to one of the 9000 nogf threads where you belong and will clearly be for the resst of your life. Have another potoo.
>>36617980
>It's Actually not a bird but, rather, some kind of dinosaur with a beak
You fucking retard, ALL birds are dinosaurs, they're literally 'avian dinosaurs'
>Ornithischia had beaks
go the FUCK BACK
We all have heard of the turkey - another """bird""" that can't even fly and is so ugly that we are forced to ritualistically mass murder them every single year.
If weebs were birds, they would definitely be the turkey.
>that shitty zit-faced complexion
>fat as fuck
>can't do the only thing their species is supposed to be able to do
>lazy, slow and out of shape
>smell like shit 25 hours a day
>leave a trail of abhorrent filth wherever they go
>totally oblivious to how much everyone hates them
>flock followers and beta orbiter as fuck
>one of the least intelligent birds on the planet
Truly this is one of the worst birds, if not THE worst bird on the planet
>>36618397
Dinosaurs are all extinct, champ. Read a book.
>>36617980
>It is extremely aggressive
it's not really aggressive if not provoked
iirc one of the only deaths ever caused by a cassowary was one of a kid who tried to kill it with a bat
What do people think of Flamingos? What about Orioles? I honestly love orioles.
>>36618485
>Dinosaurs are all extinct, champ. Read a book.
Try harder ledditer, nobody is taking your shitty bait, get off my fucking board
>>36618433
They were breed for that, this thread is horrible
>posts a fucking turkey before posting a Kakapo
too fat to fly
doesn't know what eggs are
tries to shag brits
>>36618510
This is not true at all. Turkeys are naturally shitty birds. Even the native Americans knew good and well of their shittiness long before the pilgrims showed up and started farming them.
>>36618433
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pS45_L8fLLc
>>36618509
but he's right you know. birds are birds, not dinosaurs. It would be like calling humans slime molds because that's what we all evolved from.
>>36618509
>>36618397
>>36618199
Literally cancer. Kill yourself.
The seagull. Everyone has been shit on by the fuckface organized terrorists. They are loud, annoying and very large when close up. The ruin everyone's trips to the beach, steal your pizza right out of your hand and then throw it in a bush because it's too hot for its faggot webbed feet, ruin your car with their droppings, rip open all your garbage bags and throw the garbage all over the street (because they are positive that their food for them in there - like who the fuck doesn't know that garbage bags are full of GARBAGE?) forcing you to have to pick up wet garbage from the street like a subhuman... oh and did I mention they will literally attack you for no reason?
Ever wonder why no one keeps seagulls as pets? Me neither. Fuck seagulls.
Can we take a minute to admire the intelligence of crows
Crows are super smart
>>36618664
This guy knows nothing about birds and posts all kinds of nonsense.
>>36618688
I call them beach pigeons
these birds are all beautiful :( do not bully birds!
>>36618688
>tfw never been attacked by a seagull
I've been stalked by vultures but seagulls normally run away from me
Bio student here
Birds, reptiles, and dinosaurs belong to the same clade, Sauropsida.
However, Birds are not dinosaurs.
It's kind of the same relation as humans and chimps.
>>36618754
>Birds are not dinosaurs
Next you'll say Cats are not Canines
>>36618754
You are wrong.
The ancestor of birds is a dinosaur.
While humans and chimps just share the same ancestor.
Nobody here is appreciating the ultimate bird
THE CHICKEN THE COCK
People should admire the cock for being so majestic, admit it robot you people love cocks
>>36618688
I like seagulls. Where I am, they mostly mind their own business and will only try to eat your food if you deliberately throw it to them. They don't even get into people's garbage, only possums and raccoons will do that.
>>36618712
>tfw pigeons and dodo birds are closley related
It's a shame though because dodo birds are gone
>>36618535
I came here to post that.
>tfw no kakapo to fuck your hat
>>36618818
Sir this is a bird thread, possums and raccoons cannot fly
If it can't fly it's not a bird so please don't mention such reptiles
>>36618787
>Cats are not Canines
>felidae are not canidae
well would you look at that
>>36618808
aye, you're right on this one.
I don't know what sort of bird it is, but for the last few weeks it has been screaming outside my window in the morning, about half an hour before my alarm goes off.
Not the whole species is shit, just that one individual in particular.
Why have a thread dedicated to shitty birds? Why not talk about birds you like?
I like cockatoos. They're loud, friendly, and live up to 80 years!
>>36618695
Crows are based. This thread is not about good birds.
Which brings me to the next shithead on the list. This ugly fucker with the pedophile haircut is called the marabou stork. These birds are not only huge and ugly but they're also dickheads. They slowly strut around other smaller birds, pretending to be another innocent ground pecker. Then once the other birds trust it, It picks up another bird in its filthy beak, stores it in its massive neck sack until it suffocates and stops fighting, then swallows it whole. Such assholes.
Birds are alright but there's this dumb shitty bird by my house that starts talking at like 1 in the morning, what bird is it?
Also one time I was at work and a pigeon flew into the window and killed itself, so I picked up the body and moved it to a tree
Rest in piece you dummy