Anhedonia

Drugs cure it temporarily. Stimulants: speed, coke, ritalin etc.

Suffer through the week then sniff gear and shitpost on the weekends. What do you have to lose? Hint: the answer is nothing.

>>36596098
Where the hell am I going to get that?

I've heard that Ayahuasca rituals in Peru are effective at treating certain disorders, but there's no way I could afford that anytime soon with my shitty minimum wage retail job.

>>36596140
/r/darknetmarketsnoobs

>1300 calle

anhedonia is true hell.
knowing your potential but not wanting to use it drives me past suicide.
i wish i wasn't.

That's because your life sucks. You are stuck in a mindless routine of repetition and boredom

How could you think you can cure this allergy you have towards this boredom while still maintaining this boring life?

Drugs will only harm you more, therapists are useless. Meditation is the one thing that could help you but not if you continue with your shit life

What you need is a big change. Step out of your comfort zone and go experience the real world.

And don't you come up with bullshit excuses like a lack of money. The one thing holding you back is your own self.

>>36596047
I belive its called apathy.

>>36596156
I'd get caught.
>>36596193
I'm going to college in the Fall. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to feel things again, but nothing has worked so far. For example, I tried to make friends the previous year, but came to realize talking to them wasn't enjoyable at all. I hit it off with a girl not long ago, but not even the slightest sense of happiness hit me.

I often fantasize about a semester abroad in Europe, but a big part of me imagines it'll just me the same shit in a different wrapper. I'm curious why you think it would help much.
>>36596215
Apathy is not caring about anything, while Anhedonia is feeling no pleasure.

>>36596281
A change like going to college might be good, but you'll still be deep in the same system and in the same society you currently are in now. College is really just highschool 2.0, the only major difference being you live there.

In short, I have no idea what it is you need to get out of this anhedonia. Only you can figure that out. But you can only figure it out if you do try other things. Stepping out of your comfort zone is a given necessity.

Don't discard options until you try them. Maybe eventually you will realize how great life is, and how little any problems you have matter. Wouldn't this result be worth anything and everything?

>>36596480
Yeah, it is worth anything, but I sincerely don't know what to do. Short of going off to Asia to live in a monastery (Which I've considered, but am not interested in currently), what do you suggest?

>>36596556
What can cure you from this is very personal to you. Only you can figure this out

All I can do is suggest you become a Seeker. A seeker of the ultimate truth, a seeker of the ultimate reality. Truth and reality is relative while you're still in this body, so there is no use in seeking others' realities or truths. The only thing that matters is your own truth.

If you want to accelerate this, psychedelics MIGHT help. LSD worked wonders for me, but this is also very personal and does not work for everyone.

Do what feels right to you. Follow your gut more than your brain.

>>36596764
Guess so. It definitely feels like I'm past the point where general advice will work, and I'm mostly on my own. I'll cope with it eventually, but it does feel like I've been prematurely condemned to a dull and shitty life because of unlucky genetics and an unstable upbringing.

>>36596904
The only thing that can have you be "prematurely condemned" to a dull and shitty life is the very thought that you have been prematurely condemned.

You have the willpower of a human, so act like it. An animal is definitely limited by its upbringing, location, etc. But not a human. As a human you can transcend anything material through your own willpower.

Your life is in your hands. Whether or not you have a dull and shitty life is up to you only.

And you're right that you're on your own once you're past the point of general advice. If you want company, go for the dull and boring life, because that's where everyone is. If you want an interesting and "great" life, you will mostly be on your own.

>>36597086
That's motivating, and I'll get up off my ass tonight, but I'm still curious why you say that some people aren't prematurely condemned. I've read many forum posts by people afflicted with Anhedonia for upwards of 12 years, and have tried just as many medications, but haven't solved their issues. Some say they've never been otherwise.

I mean, sure, anyone can get fit and put in a lot of effort to succeed in something, but what if they don't enjoy it after that?

>>36597191
Medications attack the symptoms, not the cause

Prematurely condemned implies being permanently limited. It is obvious that some people start out better, have easier opportunities, and have an easier time achieving what they want. But none of this is set in stone.

"condemned" is a strong word that implies something you are unable to change. Unless you have a serious medical condition, you can rewire your brain and your self into anything you want.

A good start is removing all the easy dopamine you get by browsing the internet, video games, and 4chan. This (You) I just gave you triggered dopamine release in your brain. This is not good.

Have you tried manual work? Actually working with your hands and muscles to produce or create something instead of just consuming and consuming? At first you won't enjoy this because you have access to easy but empty dopamine release. Keep at it and remove false rewards and I bet you will be changed at least a little bit.

>>36597498
When I moved houses last year, I spent two weeks without internet just reading books, and lack of 4chan didn't necessarily feel better. I'm willing to quit, but there has to be something beneficial in its absence. I truly am open to your suggestions, but what evidence is there that productive things become more enjoyable over time?

It feels like my levels of pleasure in everything are falling. Getting responses on 4chan doesn't feel good like it once did, so I'm not sure this will be that effective.

>>36597639
Productive things only become more enjoyable when you lower your expectations for happiness.

Look up "ataraxia" as used by Epicurus. It is a permanent state of calmness and tranquility where nothing can disturb your inner peace. It is not happiness, joy, or pleasure. It is inner peace which is more valuable than those.

Instead of seeking happiness, reward, fun, etc. maybe seek more subtle and sublime things like simple peace of mind.

Maybe your levels of pleasure failing are a good thing. It might be an indicator for you to seek past material things (pleasure included).

>>36597835
That's what I've been doing lately, but I've grown to dislike it. Meditation helps me approach the situation rationally, but it doesn't cure the symptoms or give me inner peace. That takes many years to acquire, and I'm about to enter college. If I do that, it's four more years of guaranteed shittiness and emptiness while I hope something changes.

>>36598009
Meditating on material things will yield material gain. And you are clearly not satisfied with material pleasures or gains.

Don't meditate to analyze your external, physical, material world. Or at least don't expect spiritual gains while doing so. Meditate to know yourself better, to go deeper and deeper. Meditate on your Self, on your soul. Not on the world, or your situation.

>>36598238
I am satisfied with material pleasures, they've just disappeared. Honestly, meditation doesn't seem to work for me because I don't feel any emotions come to mind. I mean, sure I'll feel a little anxious at times which it does help with, but I never get the opportunity to explore myself since there's no place for me to start.

>>36596193
this is a pretty dumb anti-science post that makes a ton of assumptions based on nothing

there is a huge difference between boredom/ennui and anhedonia and anyone who struggles with the latter for any significant length of time (at least months, but ideally years) can easily distinguish the two

>>36598408
You've had it for years? Any advice?

>>36598685
Since 2000, about two months before turning 13. I'm just waiting for Esketamine to be approved in 2018 or 2019, since that's a new class of medicine that actually does target and relieve anhedonia, unlike SSRIs and all the other current categories.

>>36598782
Interesting. Have you figured out why you might have it?

>>36598834
Nope. I mean, I had some mental issues a good 4-5 years before anhedonia kicked in (self-esteem issues, anxiety, social withdrawal), but my emotional range was perfectly normal. Looking back at the way I felt during 1999/early 2000 and my entire lifetime before that, those feelings and emotions are so vivid and foreign that they almost seem like a sixth sense. I've been pretty empty since anhedonia suddenly set in, though I've regained some dull feeling during my 20s. The emptiness was a lot more gaping as a teenager.

>>36599139
Have you come up with any ways to adapt? I realize most hobbies are futile in the face of it, but there still must be something that makes it better. apart from the things already listed.

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>>36596047
>>36596140
>anhedonia
I've had this shit for two years, and I honestly think doing acid fixed me. The first time I did it I just became depressed, but being depressed was a BIG improvement over my previous situation, which was just me trying to do things that previously caused me joy and feeling like I was preforming a chore, trying new things and feeling once again like performing a chore, and sitting on my bed for hours and hours at a time staring at my floor.

Regaining your will to live and your ability to enjoy things is a process and while doing LSD helped me a lot, it obviously didn't instantly change things. It just gave me a fun and blissful afternoon, and for the few hours I spent walking around in a park I just kept seeing the trees and birds, flies, bees, etc. through the lens of "holy shit this all works, these biological machines that were created by a billions-years old trial and error process all do their incredibly complex things, they all interact and the little bits and pieces all fall into place, and even though I know full well how my eyes work and how my nerves interact with my retina being hit by lightrays, it's just so crazy that I can actually SEE all this shit". It wasn't pure bliss, and I experienced a wide range of emotions and feelings (something I haven't for years at that point), but after having experienced that state of being it somehow wasn't really a distant memory anymore, but a realization that beauty and joy did still exist in the world, and everyday petty things could be interesting, and that there was a way for me to be genuinely excited by things again.

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>>36596047
>>36596140
>>36600124
cont.

After this I think I was depressed for a few months, and I felt an immense hopelessness because I could remember that kind of blissful joy very distinctively, but I was convinced I couldn't feel it again without drugs, and that it wasn't even real because it was just my brain being fucked up by a serotonin receptor agonist. But that feeling was different from what I felt for two years beforehand, because at that point the memory of feeling things, and being excited by things was very fresh and recent, and for the first time in a while I knew what it was like and I also wanted to have it.

I know not everyone is interested in molecular biology, and how living things work on the lowest level, but I'm really glad I've read all those books and articles on things as a teen, because your thinking can become really analytical on acid, and I think having a decent understanding of things around me was the reason I was able to feel amazed by otherwise uninteresting things, and use that to find joy in simple things again.

Given your position I think you should definitely try it to see if it helps. It's not like you could get any worse, and if it doesn't give you any motivation and doesn't make you see joy and beauty in simple things either give up and work up the motivation to kill yourself, or start snorting coke and do the killing self part once you've sold all your belongings and used up all your money.

Less than 0.1% of people ever get caught ordering anything from the dark web, so look into it (I recommend alphabay, you can find the url if you just search for it but don't use google or bing) and read up on LSD and its mechanism of action so you don't freak out when you do it and understand what's happening.

>>36600124
>>36600176
I appreciate your advice, though I am a little scared of the side-effects since LSD has the potential to awaken horrible things you aren't aware of.

Still, I'll think about it. Is is difficult to acquire on a large college campus in America?

>>36600558
Acid binds to various serotonin receptors, and the primary effect of this is that you feel happy and blissful. The other important thing it does is that whatever you're feeling tends to get exaggerated a lot and you can really dwell on certain thoughts and feelings.

Most "bad trips" or "nightmare trips" happen because people start freaking out either because they don't have a good understanding of how it works and get scared, or they just get a minor spook from something in their environment and enter a loop of panic because they keep thinking "oh shit oh shit I'm panicking on acid I want off this ride but I can't turn it off". The other kind of bad trip is an ego death you aren't prepared for, but that starts at like 400 micros, which feels like taking a completely different substance.

If you plan carefully and make sure you're in a familiar and comfy place with plenty of time, no responsibilities and some entertainment like a game, a movie or some music there shouldn't be any problems.

Also if you're really afraid you could try hawaiian baby woodrose seeds first, they contain LSA which is very similar to LSD, but without any kind of visuals so it's much less intimidating. I tried these seeds before doing acid, and that might have been one of the reasons I didn't freak out. You can get these legally, but LSA is really energizing in my experience, so make sure you get plenty of sleep if you try them.

Also read some reviews of either obviously, and get at least a basic understanding of their mechanism of action. Being informed is the best thing you can do to prevent negative side effects.

I don't know how difficult it is to get legit acid on college campuses, but if you buy it from someone in real life definitely buy a test kit and check if it's actual acid. I'd still recommend the dark web though, as it's much safer.

>>36601490
This is really useful info, thanks. How do you make sure you're in the right mood beforehand? Also, where do you get a test kit?

>>36596047
>Didn't mention regular exercise once

>>36601781
I've been meaning to get into cardio for some time, but my shoes are so shitty that the few times I did run, they loosened and nearly fell apart. That's one of the reasons I got a job, and I'm getting a new pair tonight.

I didn't want a bunch of responses telling me just to eat right and exercise, though, so I wrote that I've tried everything to get those out of the way.

>>36596047
Do you smoke weed? I just smoke weed pretty much 24/7 when i'm not at work or sleeping and that seems to do the trick

>>36601939
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3448908/

I hate running so I bought a bike. It's fun and has helped me out. Also helpful because I have some mixed use trails nearby to ride on.

>>36601530
I think the best attitude you can have is that there's no pressure on you, you don't have to do anything for at least a day, and no matter what you are feeling (perception of time sometimes gets weird and you can feel like time is crawling very slowly and you just want to go to sleep and end the day but you're still tripping) you WILL come down, the trip and the day WILL end, and a week from now you won't even remember how infinite time felt.

I know it might seem redundant, but reminding yourself of things like this can feel really calming and can release all the anxiety that might build up.

Most of my second acid trip was ruined because I kept feeling like I was supposed to be doing something and I was running out of time, like I was neglecting some duty or something and I spent hours just doing useless stuff like cleaning my room, organizing my folders and attempting to work on a uni assignment.

I sometimes worry about the stupidest shit like not drinking enough, having an appointment I forgot about, leaving the stove on even though I already checked twice, checking my phone battery every 20 minutes because I'm convinced it's gonna die even though it was at 80% last time I checked, etc. You just have to prepare for this and make sure there's food at home, you don't have work the day after, your phone is charged, etc.

I don't know about test kits, I've always trusted the acid I got from alphabay so I never used one, but you can get them in head shops, just google headshop [your city] and see what you find.

Also I'm not trying to sell you on acid, I just had really good experiences with it and I think it helped me a tremendous amount. You should probably try doing other stuff like sports or maybe that europe trip first if you're otherwise not interested in doing LSD.

>>36596047
Sheeit that's what this is?

I'm not always "depressed", but I sure as hell don't enjoy much, haven't for years. I got into pills and booze and it helped for a while, then eventually got my first gf and I just felt happy. I cut way back on the drugs, because for once I didn't feel like I needed them.

Then she left of course, and I'm back to square one.

>>36602629
Ooh even better, anhedonia is linked with schizophrenia, which my mom has.

Can't wait to go off the deep end

>>36596047
Have you tried the ketamine treatment yet? I'm probably going to do it in a few weeks.

>>36601999
Pretty sure that blazing it 24/7 is more likely to induce Anhedonia than cure it. Still haven't tried it before, though, so I can at least look forward to that.
>>36602339
I don't think you're trying to sell me something, lots of other people have praised it. I've heard that it gives insights similar to what meditation can bring after years of practice, albeit in a more dangerous way. Plus after a certain amount of time, there's not much to lose in trying some. Probably won't ever consider buying online due to the risks, though.
>>36602629
Could be ennui, you'll have to describe it more. After a while, it is painfully obvious that you've lost the ability to enjoy things.
>>36602704
That only works for a few weeks, no? Sounds like a treatment for either rich people or people who like to torture themselves.

>>36596047
I've had this weird thing for a little while where I've been fantasizing about getting a tedious office job, working for 10-12 hours a day and just doing nothing but eat and watch TV and then go to sleep only to repeat it the next day over and over again.
Just pure numbness to the point where I don't feel pleasure or pain anymore. Maybe one day it'll force me to work up the courage to pull the trigger of the gun in my mouth.

>>36603353
>Could be ennui, you'll have to describe it more. After a while, it is painfully obvious that you've lost the ability to enjoy things.

I can't make it through most movies, tv shows, I play video games for like 20 minutes then quit, hanging out with people doesn't really do much for me unless I'm really drunk.

I pretty much feel like everything I'm doing is just to pass time till I can go to sleep that night.

>>36603353
>probably won't ever consider buying online due to the risks, though
This is probably the least risky part lol.
>make anonymous btc wallet
>find local btc atm at coinatmradar.com
>buy some btc
>download tor
>register on alphabay
>deposit btc
>find vendor with good reviews
>buy acid
>get envelope a week later with a fingernail sized piece of paper hidden inside
There's absolutely no way to detect the acid inside the envelope, btc is completely anonymous, tor is as well and you aren't liable for whatever gets sent to you anyway.

>>36603484
Fantasizing? Are you NEET?
>>36603519
Sounds like Anhedonia then. We're in the same boat, unfortunately.
>>36603837
Thanks