Psychological Issues #46

Im so god damn bored

I want to do something but I don't like doing anything

reeee

>>36593662
Help nick. how does one not stress about the outcome of things? I spent too much time today worrying about how much muscle I can gain, and if my back can rehab well or not.

>>36593731

Have you tried physical activity?

>>36593802
Yea I have a small work out routine, but it keeps me busy only for a little bit

Literally sitting and listening to a clam song waiting till I get so tired I start hearing my thoughts again

>>36593756

Worry less about outcomes, and focus on what you can do, without worrying.

For muscle grains, you need protein. Eat enough protein every day. About 0.5 grams of protein per pound of your body. No need to be precise.

I'm probably going to see a psychologist that specializes in testing and evaluation.

>>36593875

Great news!

(I'm getting 16 seconds punishment now.)

>>36593887
Okay. I don't know if I'm going to be able to afford it though. I was talking to my Dad to see if he could help with payments, and he said he would, but he doesn't think that I have a problem. I fucking hate it. The only way that he can see a problemis if he is told it, or he has to fucking see it. If I broke my leg, and it was deformed he would takeme to a hospital. If you couldn't see any difference, and it looked normal, but broken on the inside HE WOULDN'T DO SHIT. He's ignorant. It really pisses me off.

>>36593662
Afteenoon Nick. Hows your thursday?

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>>36594008
>he doesn't think that I have a problem.

Of course not, but he's no psychiatric expert, and he has the same disorder you have, right?

Ignore his opinion.

>>36594059

Was shit. Had more C-PTSD-related attacks at work. Spent a whole period trying to hold the nausea in. Students noticed. Then I spent 10 minutes dry-heaving in the toilet, painful contractions, eyes tearing up, not because of sadness but because of the dry-heaving. It's taxing on the body. Then I fought fainting for a few hours.

The day isn't far when I just collapse in front of everyone.

You?

>>36594146
Much better than yesterday. You seem like you need an actual doctor

>>36594189

I need a bullet in the head.

At home, I have crying spells. Tear attacks, if you will. Easily 20 a day, probably more. I never get a break, whether at work or at home.

A doctor can't help because this isn't a physical problem.

>>36593731
same, until I just choose to do something, then I do that until I die

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>>36593662
I literally can't function without weed. Since childhood my brain has been scrambled. I can't think straight, am extremely impulsive and find it hard to differentiate reality from fantasy. This lead to me doing lots of dumb shit. When I started smoking weed at age 21 everything just fitted into place. I became hyper-organised, internally and externally. My emotional issues came to the surface and I dealt with them. the thing is weed is illegal where I'm at and I can't keep doing this shit or else I'll get caught one day. But I'm literally retarded without it. What do?

I smoke 4 times a day nigga.

is ADHD real?

>>36594368
Get a bunch of your weed and make coconut oil out of it. I prefer this instead of butter because it is healthier than butter for you and you can literally use it in anything.

>having tea
put it in that
>eating toast
put it on that
>eating pussy
rub it on that
>making food that needs butter
substitute butter for the oil
>become not retarded

>>36594368

>scrambled brain = mental confusion, emotional as well, possibly

>impulsive

>reality and fantasy bleed together

>doing dumb shit = taking risks

>self-medication with weed

I'll advise you to consider Borderline traits, because all these fit into the mold.

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/personality-disorders/borderline-personality-disorder.htm

And a test or two:

https://psychcentral.com/quizzes/borderline.htm
http://www.pdchat.co.uk/psychtests/bpd/borderline.php

>>36594382

As a condition, no, as a symptom, neither, but the signs that are mistakenly understood to be attention-related do exist. In my experience, ADHD is the result of abuse or literal mental retardation.

>>36594229
No but maybe they can give you something to mitigate the severity of your attacks

>>36594523

Anything able to do that would mitigate my ability to work. There's really nothing medication can do at this point.

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sup people, how's everybody doing?

i'm spending my thursday torrenting roseanne and wishing i had a husband like dan, then realizing i am probably destined to be the spinster sister, except without a loving family to support me.

Hello everyone. I'd like to apologize, I guess?

If you want to live lives being happy despite not being superior I guess that's your choice and I can only hate you for it and consider you weak, but at the end of the day it is your choice and talking you lot out of is is not going to help.

If anyone would like to talk about bullying, unrealistic goals and toxic attitudes, I think I can offer some insight.

>>36594406
how do you get diagnosed with depression and get meds

Hello everybody.

Had a decent therapy session today, talked a lot about parents and childhood. Not so great day at work but I'm used to it at this point

>>36594626

There's no reason for you not to find someone who will love you forever.

I thought you'd send an e-mail, but today's harvest didn't bring words from you (which is fine, of course).

You're not Polish by any chance?

>>36594588
I wish I could help friend[/spoiler

>>36594637
>Hello everyone. I'd like to apologize, I guess?

Either apologise or don't, but don't guess. Do, or do not. There is no try.

Would you consider last night some kind of crisis?

>despite not being superior

I am superior in a bunch of things, like everyone is, which is why I have the job I have, which nobody else in my team could do as well as I do. I have objective reasons to think that, and much the same could be said for my coworkers in their own fields.

>>36594691

Depression isn't the main problem. Meds aren't the solution. Borderliners don't respond to medication, because it's not a mood issue at heart.

What did you think of the BPD diagnosis?

>>36594708

I'm glad you went to therapy, though sad about your work day. Get the line cook fired by telling the truth about how shit he actually is. Teach your boyfriend how to cook and hire him instead.

>feel happy as fuck for a few days
>want to kill myself every moment of the next week
>feel apathetic for a week
>cycle repeats
>sometimes there are more than 2 very strong swings in a day
I'll be seeing a GP tomorrow, how do I bring this up?

>>36594742

actually i'm writing an email to you right now, I didn't want to monopolize your inbox right away.

>>36594803
>how do I bring this up?

Same way you did here. Could be bipolar or Borderline. Other symptoms?

>>36594791
one said i have bpd the other said I don't

>>36594772

>Would you consider last night some kind of crisis?
I was just being honest. I'm usually not. Which is why I'm guess-apologizing.

>I am superior in a bunch of things, like everyone is, which is why I have the job I have, which nobody else in my team could do as well as I do. I have objective reasons to think that, and much the same could be said for my coworkers in their own fields.
I'm not gonna respond to this. It would just be another thread danrailment.

>>36594791
>Get the line cook fired by telling the truth about how shit he actually is.

I know I said before that he was terrible, but I was exaggerating out of annoyance. He's not great, but he's definitely not bad enough to be fired.

>Teach your boyfriend how to cook and hire him instead.

Working with him would be my dream. No more being separated by shifts every other day. Unfortunately for me he has a good job and I would never want him giving it up for me

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>>36594816
>I didn't want to monopolize your inbox right away.

Monopolise the shit out of me. It keeps me busy and that way I can do something other than crying.

My entire free time is devoted to this thread and my inbox, and my few friends to whom I write endless e-mails.

So don't worry about it. I have all the free time in the world and no life to spend it on.

>tfw I should be married with a kid on the way
>tfw I spend evenings with my fucking cheap laptop instead

>>36594831

You clearly have traits. Keep that in mind as it helps modelling your issues, but don't get stuck on a label. This isn't astrology.

>>36594824
>Social anxiety
But I know the causes of this one. Should I bring it up? I want to get appointed with a psychiatrist that can pump me with meds for it but I don't know how to talk about all of this with a gp I haven't seen in a decade.
>random panic attacks
This used to happen when I woke up for school everyday until I dropped out, or when I'm forced to talk to strangers. Lately it's been happening randomly.

How do I cure shy bladder?
This is a psychological issue right?

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>>36594857

>tfw i live right next to an expensive private-run daycare, so i see dozens of 10/10 rich ladies with their adorable aryan kids every time i leave the house
>tfw i spend time refreshing this thread and checking when was my ex last online

existence is suffering

>>36594914
https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/shy-bladder-syndrome

This page has some good information on it

>>36594846
>I was just being honest. I'm usually not. Which is why I'm guess-apologizing.

Yes, you spoke your mind, but was it a kind of crisis to you?

>I'm not gonna respond to this. It would just be another thread danrailment.

You don't have to. Absolutely nobody else in my entire workplace has the skills I have and absolutely nobody else would argue otherwise. You don't have to respond, you only have to accept what you're told. I wouldn't have been hired had I not proved my worth in my function.

>>36594888

Forget meds. They won't help you. Your problem is not a mood disorder. You likely have C-PTSD.

What's your worst childhood memory?

>>36594914
>shy bladder

I piss in stalls exclusively. Fuck urinals.

>>36594968
Well, there is nothing that can helps that I can do alone?
>>36595026
I can't piss if I can hear people nearby
Sometimes putting my fingers on my ears so I can't hear them helps but sometimes not

>>36595026
I do too, but it could still be a problem right?

>>36594941
>when was my ex last online

On whatsapp? Facebook? Whichever, if he cut contact with you and doesn't intend to get back in touch with you, you're better off not torturing yourself uselessly.

Focus on the fact that it hurts this much because you attached a whole problematic on this man, but he is but a man, not a god or an angel.

Trust me, I know your pain. How long has it been since the no contact started?

>>36595053
>I can't piss if I can hear people nearby

And I don't want to. I wait for them to leave, then I piss. Though my bladder is enormous, I can avoid urinating from 6 am to 10 pm.

>>36595061

Sure, but it may have to do with animal instincts. Pissing makes you smellable from afar, including predators, so hearing sounds of others may inhibit pissing as a reflex.

I have been in hospitals, therapy and on meds for what feels like ages and I am still fucked
I am slowly doubting I will ever be okay again

>>36595026
I do exactly the same

>>36594984
>Yes, you spoke your mind, but was it a kind of crisis to you?
More like things that I have been trying to suppress for weeks. That's the only option, to suppress it, because what I am saying is the truth.

>You don't have to respond, you only have to accept what you're told. I wouldn't have been hired had I not proved my worth in my function.
I'm not denying that. Being good at one thing doesn't make you a Chad though.

>>36595053
>Well, there is nothing that can helps that I can do alone?

Well of course not, if you're afraid of peeing when there's people around, then you can't get used to it by being alone. Admittedly, that whole "pee partner" thing seems a bit silly though

Girls come on to me but the second i show affection back they don't like it. I get more girls ignoring my own feeling for them than I do when I actually show I care. Is it me?

>>36595096

What's wrong with you?

>>36595098

Stall-pissers master race.

>>36595170
>Stall-pissers master race.

I don't see the point in urinals at all, is it just for maximum use of space?

>>36595012
Nothing strong enough to warrant what you're saying. My whole childhood was a shitshow but I haven't been abused or anything like some anons here.

>>36595069

nick, i sent you an email :^)

>tfw you will never piss at an urinal

existence is pain once again

>>36595170
>What's wrong with you?
AvPD, BPD, depressions, paranoid schizophrenia
Currently in a Soteria

>>36595145
>Girls come on to me but the second i show affection back they don't like it.

Are you sure they're coming on to you then? No offense, I'm sure you're a lovely person, but if they were genuinely interested in you, I'm not sure they would just stop the moment you showed something back, unless they all had commitment issues or something. Can you maybe explain a bit further please? In what way are they coming on to you?

>>36595119
>because what I am saying is the truth.

It's what you want to believe. No one sane is this certain of knowing the truth.

>I'm not denying that. Being good at one thing doesn't make you a Chad though.

The only thing that makes you a Chad is being called "Chad". The rest is a meme from a Chinese North Korean animumu imageboard that some people take far, far too seriously. Climb down the tree of madness, Dan, it's harming you.

If you saw me IRL, you'd think I'm a fucking Chad, probably. It doesn't do everything, it doesn't save you from everything.

>>36595145
>but the second i show affection back

How do you do that...

>>36595189
>I don't see the point in urinals at all, is it just for maximum use of space?

Urinals for urine, stalls for poopoops.

Yes, it saves space and most people only need to piss.

Not sure if poopoops is a word anyone uses; it's how my Loved One called it, for childish keks. I find myself saying "poopoops"
in a vain attempt to summon her back.

>>36595267
>It's what you want to believe. No one sane is this certain of knowing the truth.
I'm not saying anything too preposterous. Only that some people get more out of life for less effort and that these people are to be hated.

>It doesn't do everything, it doesn't save you from everything.
It helps a lot. And it means you have a higher ceiling of what you can achieve. Not only that but natural superiority works like a multiplier towards your results.

When gifted people work hard, they get better results for their hard work.

>>36595205
>Nothing strong enough to warrant what you're saying.

You aren't qualified to say this. You'd be surprised. I may not have time to write you a 40-page long essay explaining the details of this, but trust me, you are in no position to judge for now.

>My whole childhood was a shitshow but I haven't been abused or anything like some anons here.

Let me the judge of that. The worst part of any abuse is the psychological part, not the physical. Even in the physical and sexual, what hurts is the psycholical part, not the empirical part. Emotional abuse does the same damage as sexual abuse, and frequently, much worse, due to the hidden nature of emotional abuse, whereas sexual abuse is more obvious, and past a certain age, you uncover the truth.

>>36595221

I'll never piss at a urinal either, and I frankly don't care.

>>36595352
I really hope I don't experience a loss like you have, it must be so horrible to reminded of it by things even as small as that. You deserve to be better

>>36595238
>Soteria

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soteria_(psychiatric_treatment)

New word to me. What's going on in there?

>>36595242
Sure, Spoke to a girl from class. Got her number the whole nine yards. She comes over to my house and she gets a little frisky. I get into it and kiss her neck and grab her waist and she just seemed uncomfortable. She was gone in .5 and now she wants to be friends.

This shit has happened with 3 girls and just getting to that stage was hard enough. Getting blue balled that often fucking sucks and has to be on my end.

>>36595391
Do you have a discord account? orig

>>36595375
>Only that some people get more out of life for less effort and that these people are to be hated.

So, not only do they get a better deal, but on top of that, you want to make yourself feel worse by thinking about them and hating yourself for it? That's adding salt to the wound, why would you do that?

>It helps a lot.

And you know this because you're a Chad, right? You don't know this. It ain't true.

>When gifted people work hard, they get better results for their hard work.

Very loose definition of "gifted", essentially meaning, "anyone you think was luckier than you."

You're someone else's gifted and lucky.

>>36595421

Everything reminds me of her. 4 years in the same small apartment. Her art is everywhere. Her things are everywhere. Her products are everywhere. Her hairbrushes are everywhere. I found a hair of hers in my bed the other night. I fucking collapsed in tears. It was a piece of her. Breathing reminds me of her.

>>36595528
>That's adding salt to the wound, why would you do that?
To remember who made the wound. To remember who is to blame.

>And you know this because you're a Chad, right? You don't know this. It ain't true.
I know this because I have been around Chad.

>You're someone else's gifted and lucky.
That is true.

>>36595434
That is strange, it to happen so often, there must be cause. Could it be something you say or do? Or do you think you act completely normally?

>>36595550
Have you considered moving to get away from it all? I'm worried about you

>>36595094
I guess that makes sense, but that would mean that we probably have a slight paranoia.

>>36595434
>I get into it and kiss her neck and grab her waist and she just seemed uncomfortable.

Well, yeah. Define "getting frisky".

The minute a girl senses that you just want to fuck her, she will leave, because that stuff is the least sexy thing you can pull off.

That's how you move from man to horny dog.

>>36595474

No, I don't even know what Discord is exactly, beyond something you can speak on.

>>36595599
>To remember who made the wound. To remember who is to blame.

How useful. Think about it.

>I know this because I have been around Chad.

Your level of empathy doesn't allow you to know other people's experience of life. You've proven this to me many, many times. Don't kid yourself, you have no clue what others live through.

>>36595622

I refuse to leave this place, it's all I have left of her.

>>36595636

Many animals don't like being looked at when they take a shit, because it's a vulnerable moment. Same deal, I'd imagine.

It's not paranoia if it is justified.

>>36595682
>How useful. Think about it.
It is. If you forget about it, if you move on, then you are justifying this system that shits on inferiors.

>Don't kid yourself, you have no clue what others live through.
I know guys who got attractive girlfriends with NO EFFORT for being tall/attractive. So much for that.

>>36595693
Don't you think letting go and moving on would be healthier for you? You're crying every day, and that's far from normal. I haven't experienced anything like you have, so I shouldn't really talk about it, but I don't like thinking you are suffering

>>36595603
>>36595645

Fuck, might be the horndog factor. I thought girls like the man in the street freak in the sheets thing.
Like another of the girls was talking about her ex that sent her sexy messages so I thought she was into dirty talk, Second we're alone and cuddling and I whisper "love how sexy you look tonight" it was like an instant barrier. FUCK im a horndog. Thanks robots

>>36595754
>It is. If you forget about it, if you move on, then you are justifying this system that shits on inferiors.

As opposed to being angry about it and living a worse life because of it? You really want Chad's dick to go as deep as it can down your throat, Dan. More is never enough with you.

>I know guys who got attractive girlfriends with NO EFFORT for being tall/attractive. So much for that.

Effort isn't what's needed. Not being a negative shithead goes a long way, not thinking of women as fuckholes exclusively helps too. Dan, the problem isn't that you're "not attractive," it's that you're fucking mentally ill and it shows when you open your mouth and speak. Get healed.

>>36595766

At this point, I don't know what's healthier. I cannot move on. I feel such responsibility towards her, might as well ask me to give up on my own child. I can't.

>>36595775
>I thought girls like the man in the street freak in the sheets thing.

They might, but in due time, not when you're just getting started.

One thing you seem to forget is that women know they're physically weaker than you, and this means you're always a potential threat. Never forget that they will always see you as somewhat dangerous, more so in the beginning. It's your job to make sure they feel safe, and you don't make them feel safe by rushing to grap their waists and kissing their necks, you rapey mofo.

Chances are you go for the wrong kind of girls too.

>CJ, FOR THE GROVE
>missing the damn train

>>36595833
As I said, I shouldn't talk things I haven't experienced, but I definitely think it would help. Just a suggestion, I'm not trying to force you into making such a big decision.

>>36595923

You don't always need experience in something to talk of it, especially if your intentions are good. Your opinion is something I'll always want to hear. Not agreeing with it is not a problem at all. Any advice is welcome.

You know, I only sleep on my side of the bed. Hers is now covered with a blanket. I don't intend to ever use that side of the bed. It was hers.

>>36595775
No problem, do you think that's definitely the problem? I hope you find someone who loves you

>>36595817
>As opposed to being angry about it and living a worse life because of it?
If I get two options, one is to be happy by accepting humiliation and the other is to be miserable but be aware of the humiliation. If I keep being happy, I am letting them win.

>Not being a negative shithead goes a long way,
Not being treated poorly for shit out of your control goes a long way towards not being a negative shithead.

>>36595958

He needs to find someone HE loves. For now, it sounds like what he really wants is a skinbag to have sex with, and they feel it, so they leave him before he gets what he wants from them.

It's that simple.

Sorry for speaking about you in third person, horndog anon.

>>36595978
>If I keep being happy, I am letting them win.

Yeah, because you being happy is a victory to them; first, they don't care, second, they don't care. Third, if you're happy, you win. There's no greater victory in life than being happy. That doesn't mean any condition is enough to be happy, but never consider happiness of yours the victory of another.

>Not being treated poorly for shit out of your control goes a long way towards not being a negative shithead.

You're treated poorly because you treat others poorly. Don't even argue this, I have seen you at work. I can only imagine how much worse you treat people IRL. Chances are you get treated how you deserve because of how you treat others.

In a whole thread of people trying to help you, you've been a dick to everyone. I can only imagine when people are just neutral to you.

Half of my family has depression issues on both sides
What should I do to prevent depression?

how do you guys release your anger when you see people on FB using 4chan like memes

someone I know used green text on their profile pic as well as quoting 'seeya space cowboy'.
I know they must think what they're doing makes them feel like a special snowflake t how would you guys cope with things like this

>>36596009
good point. That does sound accurate

>>36596091

Depression is only a symptom. Depression is unlikely to be genetic.

Describe your people, take a name.

i cant get over the fact how you faggots keep saying that geting laid is a solution to everything. so i went to this hooker and i didint like it at all cuz i kept thinking about everyone who has that for freee

what you going to advice me now? go to a more expensive bitch? god you fuckin faggots i hate all of you

>>36596091
do you have depression at the moment?

>>36596104
By not going on social media.

https://www.file-upload.com/zculanfbiaqh

Finally found a website to upload this. Collected posts between Hero and myself, or how we managed to help him with his issues.

The fastest mini therapy I've been through in this thread.

Enjoy and comment.

>>36596062
>Yeah, because you being happy is a victory to them; first, they don't care, second, they don't care.
The moment I let go is the moment I throw in the towel and justify their behavior. It's like giving them a free pass.

>You're treated poorly because you treat others poorly. Don't even argue this, I have seen you at work.
I have been treated like shit since I was young. It's nice to think that every bad treatment is deserved, but statistics prove that ugly and inferior people are more likely to get singled out.

>>36595957
I'm sorry, I don't mean to offend you, but that sounds really unhealthy. I know you loved her and still do, but even keeping the side of her bed because it's hers? Forget moving, try doing small things, such as removing the blanket from her side of the bed. I really believe it could help you move on, the attachment seems to be causing a lot of your problems. Again, this is all suggestions, and I'm sure you've heard it before, Burbank I really want you to help yourself

Hi Nick,
when I come home from school, I sit at home all day long, playing video games, watching some series of movies and doing nothing productive... I am not learning and for last few years I am on the verge of failing my class, because I am not even studying... I know that I should study, but I can't force myself to do so... And that's not only studying... Everything I know, I should do, but is no fun, or is not easy to do, I can't force myself to do said thing... Sometimes I get really frustrated and depressed, because I feel, that I lack control over myself...

>>36596136
I guess but I like to know how everyone's life is going for people who I use to know.

also it helps kill time

>>36596126

Empty sex will leave you dead inside. I don't recommend it, not that I've done it, but sex for sex is just masturbating with someone else's body. Not sexy at all.

Fix your issues and find a functional girl who loves you. How 'bou'dah?

>>36596261
It sounds like normal depression.

>>36596158
Nick you're my hero

>>36596104

I never see that, but if I did, I'd instantly not get angry because the last thing I want to be is a 4chan fanboy going "muh sikrit club, rule 1 and 2".

4chan is influential, so be it. It's just a platform to talk to other people. Let the memes roam freely and make new ones.

>>36596126
You fell for the meme. You wasted your money and time.

>>36596186
>The moment I let go is the moment I throw in the towel and justify their behavior.

You don't realise it, but you assume you're very important in the universe. They don't need you to justify their behaviour, but you need them to justify yours.

>It's like giving them a free pass.

Nobody needs your pass. You are nothing to them just like they should be nothing to you. Nobody cares what some random stranger thinks.

>I have been treated like shit since I was young. It's nice to think that every bad treatment is deserved, but statistics prove that ugly and inferior people are more likely to get singled out.

You singled out yourself in a whole thread made of people who were ready to care for you. You attacked some of them in really, really shit ways. I no longer believe your assessment of yourself and others in society is accurate. I think it's shit-tainted with your own fears.

>>36596126
You dun goofed. Paying for sex as a product is not the same as having sex with your gf.

>>36596290
Well... Then I am in an infinite loop without anyones help, becuase the depression leads to another layer of depression, which leads to another layer of depression...

>>36596228
>I'm sorry, I don't mean to offend you, but that sounds really unhealthy. I know you loved her and still do, but even keeping the side of her bed because it's hers?

You'll never offend me, don't worry. I know, if I were you, I'd say the same thing. But when you're in it, it's a different thing, I realise. Using her side of the bed is blasphemy. Like raping memories, I can't do it. It's pure pain.

I mourn her loss as if she was dead. I thought she'd always be here. My brain hasn't accepted that she was gone.

I'm all alone, there's no moving on anyway.

>Burbank

Teach me that meme, senpai.

>>36596382
>They don't need you to justify their behaviour, but you need them to justify yours.
Yeah. They will just keep tormenting inferiors. And for that they deserve to pay.

>You are nothing to them just like they should be nothing to you. Nobody cares what some random stranger thinks.
Except when that stranger gets more than you get. Takes what you could never get due to your inherent limitations and pretty much steals from you.

>You attacked some of them in really, really shit ways.
Like who? I told that attractive chick that she deserves no sympathy because she is an attractive chick and has by default much better standing that most men. And that I hate her for that. Completely justified.

Nick,
I am often really apathetic, for hours or even days, until I choose to do something, then I get really immersed in that thing that I don't even care about other stuff,
like I usually have meals really late when drawing because I don't want to put that on hold.

Does this mean anything?

>>36596429
Go to a psychiatrist and get antidepressants. Ask for prozac.

>>36596261

What is the one thing you wish you had the most?

>>36596487
Nope, that's normal. At least for me.

>>36596313
I think I get what you mean and I don't want to be those guys either I just view these as not a way of
sharing jokes around but more of a way of showing off.

sorry if I'm not making sense. I can't really translate what my mind says onto words or paper cause I keep forgetting what to write or say.

>>36596457
I get what you mean, I'll never understand your situation. Just do what you honestly think is best. Know that you can talk to me anytime you want.

I meant be, not Burbank, sorry about that

>>36596306

Right in the feels.

I cried. True story bro.

>>36596582
I hope my story helps someone here, even if the one it helps is just our lurking resident start-of-thread shitposter.

>>36596496
I don't know... Some good companions (maybe even girlfriend) to spend my time of life with? Yeah... Probably... I feel my life lacks sense and I find it utterly boring... This could help... I've been in relationship for 2 and half year... We broke up in January and since then I feel more depressed than ever... But still... I had these problems (incapability to do stuff I need to do) even before the breakup...

Nick, I don't want anything nor do I do anything anymore.

I think it's having to grow up taking care of myself as a teen since my rents were dead. I've watched all my loved ones die and lost all my friends. Tried several medications but no progress. Used to go outside/work out as well.

I've done plenty of therapy but I don't want to vent or be told "well look on the blight side, you could be worse"

I don't know what to do and I'm walking a thin line between apathy and suicidal thoughts.

>>36596384
>You dun goofed. Paying for sex as a product is not the same as having sex with your gf.

Indeed, with your girl, there's no thrill of risking an STD.

>>36596290

There's no normal depression. Depression is always a symptom and rarely comes alone.

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33KB, 500x364px

>>36596306
>>36596582

wtf i am not crying, i just have something in my eye guys

>>36596662
Huh, you learn something every day.
>>36596487
What about Dram?

>>36596463
>Yeah. They will just keep tormenting inferiors. And for that they deserve to pay.

Nobody's tormenting anyone. You won't make them pay, Batman.

>Completely justified.

You're clinically insane, Bruce Wayne.

>>36596652
>look on the blight side
Interesting typo you got there, friend.

What kind of medication did you try? And what kind of therapy- did you try CBT? Also, did you get a diagnosis?

>>36596738
To take from inferiors, to take things inferiors could never get due to their bad luck. To parade themselves around showing inferiors just what they don't have and never will. It's torment.

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>>36596463
Why are you so obsessed with calling yourself inferior Dan?
>>36596699
pic related

>>36596496
Also, I don't know, if it's connected in any way, but since I feel like shitty person who can't do anything right, I forget much more about things that happen... Like... I can't tell you, what I was doing yesterday... All past days merge together in my mind and I can't really tell, what I was doing on any of the days... And even if someone tells me, that I did something on Monday, that makes me kinda remember, but still I find myself shocked that I did that on this Monday and not a week ago... Just... I forget about almost everything that happens, and when I remember anything, I can't put it into right time...

>>36596487

It's a symptom for a personality disorder, but I forget which. Schizoid or schizotypal, I think.

>>36596796
>Why are you so obsessed with calling yourself inferior Dan?
Because I am not superior.

>>36596491

Don't recommend medication in my thread. You aren't a psychiatrist, and medication will benefit some very specific cases, but by far not people with depression.

>>36596768
>To take from inferiors, to take things inferiors could never get due to their bad luck.
Like what? Besides genetics what can't you get?
>To parade themselves around showing inferiors just what they don't have and never will. It's torment.
I'm wondering how you define parading?
No matter how I twist my mind I cannot understand how you think.

>>36596845
might be schizoid, since that is what a therapist told me,
also today I finished a new drawing, my friends seemed really happy, and I'm too.

>>36596845
Oh, I thought this was just a normal thing for everyone.

>>36596763

Celexa, seriqual, depakote, Wellbutrin, zoloft, lexapro, Effexor, lithium, Paxil and I forget some.

Yes, clinically depressed but I forget the term they use nowadays for being depressed for years.

It wasn't a typo.

>>36596536

Anyone showing off for being on 4chan needs to get a grip.

>>36596565
>I meant be, not Burbank, sorry about that

I reread the comment and "be" instead of Burbank doesn't work. How do you type Burbank for "be"? I'm dead curious.

Am I Burbank... is this my secret name...

>>36596643

I intend to post it whenever I'm asked for my qualifications. Hopefully, it'll be a good showcase.

>>36596644

You are lonely and need more friends. Can you join a club?

>>36596865
Sorry, I just wanted to help.

>>36596874
For example attractive female partners. The tall and attractive guys walk around with attractive girlfriends while short and ugly guys could never get these women due to no fault of their own. Same with good jobs (everything but management is for losers and managers are on average taller and more attractive than the general population). And before you ask, I am a loser.

How do I define parading? Being seen is enough. They want you to participate in their world and pitch in and for that you get less than them. FUCKNDSF

>>36596652

Make a quick list of things you'd want.

>>36596930
I'm glad to help back Nick. Especially since I can't help you with what you got going on except being here hanging out.

>>36596699

Heh... Mike Tyson raising pigeons always gets me thinking. But I never know about what.

Seeing my psychologist and doctor tommorow. My head feels empty and if it lingers until tommorow I won't be able to speak a word to either. Feels fruitless.

>>36596951

>The tall and attractive guys walk around with attractive girlfriends while short and ugly guys could never get these women due to no fault of their own.

you're wrooooooong jesus christ fuck how many times do i have to repeat that

>>36596768
>It's torment.

It's projection.

>>36597001
Really? Ugly and short guys could only get attractive women through being extremely rich, having a huge penis, etc.

Still they have to work harder than the lucky people.

>>36596903
God I'm stupid, I meant "because". I'm not saying you ignored it simply because you didn't reply to it, but please take the rest of my post into account as well. I'm honestly worrying about you now and I know this is going to hang over my head until I hear you've made progress

>>36597030
Whatever man. I get it, you and almost everyone IRL is so cucked that you don't mind overpaying. You don't mind working hard for what comes naturally to some. But some of us still have pride. Not pride like you understand it though, because you don't.

>>36596956

>air
>food
>water
>cigarettes

Thats it? I'm pretty simple.

>>36596845
Schizotypal has important critera along the lines of magical thinking. Schizoids, on the other hand, rarely get invested in anything outside of their inner fantasy world.

>>36596844

Big symptoms. Dissociation, maybe. Borderline does have things like this. Look it up.

>>36596863

You choose that.

>>36596874
>No matter how I twist my mind I cannot understand how you think.

Neither can he, in truth.

>>36597139
>You choose that.
Wrong. My facial bone structure, intelligence, height, penis size, family and some other things choose that.

>>36596995
I'm in the same situation, what can we do?

>>36596930
Well... I am already in some, but I find it hard to find any friends... First of I have problem to just start speaking to someone... The other person has to start the conversation, or someone else has to pull me into conversation or else I find it really strange to just approach someone and start convo... And even if we start talking, it always ends up same... Sooner or later, I can feel, that they feel uncomfortable in my presence and if there were some, which I've asked for honesty and they told me, that they find me really annoying... That's for the real life relationships... But I can make friends online... Because as I've found out, people are talking to me and are not annoyed by me until they meet me... There are few people, that also think I can be annoying, but they are ok with it... But they don't live in the same city, so we can't easily meet up...

>>36596894

I wanna see.

Ravioli.

>>36596931

No problem, forgive me if I sounded harsh. I just dislike medication for depression. Been on them for years and I'm convinced it was for nothing.

>>36597239
It's on DeviantArt,
maybe you're lucky enough to find it, just look at all the stuff that has been posted today, it will be there for sure :T

>>36597267
No problem. I just figured it could help the short term while he finds the source.
>it was for nothing.
It may have been. I don't have much experience with prescription drugs.

>>36596995

Write down what you'll say. In case you freeze, read that stuff out.

>>36597001

Just so you know, engaging Dan in an argument is dangerous because logic is not allowed.

>>36597043
>Ugly and short guys could only get attractive women through being extremely rich, having a huge penis,

You believe that. You have a lolsy way to see the world. But honestly, you're so ignorant of the world it's not even funny.

If you weren't a negative dickhead, you'd augment your chances. Goddamn.

>>36596899
Ever tried cognitive behavior therapy or dialectical behavior therapy? Those can be nice for those if you don't like traditional therapy methods.

The less you'll do, the more depressed you'll be. Though you probably already know that. Try to appreciate the good little things of everyday life. Depression is a bit less of a bitch when you let yourself enjoy nice things.

>>36597360
>Just so you know, engaging Dan in an argument is dangerous because logic is not allowed.
For you, acceptance of humiliation is logical. That's all I have to say really.

>>36597048

OK. Are you typing on your phone?

>because/Burbank

Who is this Burbank? I'm giggling about this stuff, just curious if Burbank means anything to you.

> but please take the rest of my post into account as well.

Oh, I do. All your words mean a lot to me.

Don't worry about me; I appreciate your concern.

>>36597237
Do you know what exactly they find annoying?

>>36597379
>If you weren't a negative dickhead, you'd augment your chances. Goddamn.
Did I choose to be born short and ugly? Did I choose to have a lower chance? No? Then I am NOT accepting it.

>>36597074
>But some of us still have pride.

You don't. I pay taxes, I know exactly what's up. I pay more taxes than you ever will. I can't change that, so I won't lower my pride because of things I cannot change. That line of logic should ring a bell.

You have no pride, Dan, because you don't think you have anything to be proud of.

Be kinder to yourself, you'll be nicer to everyone else too.

>>36597113

You have these. Make a list of things you don't have that you'd want to have. Go crazy

>>36597385

Can you explain a bit more about those types of therapy, please?

>>36597178

MUH FACIAL BONE STRUCTURE.

Please, may some artist anon make OC based on Dan. He's a goldmine.

>muh facial bones

>muh benis size

Goddamn. Nobody knows about your penis, Dan!

>>36597421
You're the one who sounds like you're accepting humiliation. You don't sound even interested in turning things to your advantage.

>>36597426
Burbank was a friend of mine, who has been on my mind recently. I'm extremely tired and and end up writing what I'm thinking about a lot of the time. Think nothing of it

>>36597226
I will go there and see what comes out of it. If it's fruitless, it will be a pain in the ass to go through it again at a later date.

>>36597518
and there I go putting two "and"'s in there

>>36597458
>You don't. I pay taxes, I know exactly what's up. I pay more taxes than you ever will.
Well it's not my fault that Switzerland has socialist government. And also considering my country is poorer than yours, you are right.

I really don't understand where you're getting at.

>You have no pride, Dan, because you don't think you have anything to be proud of.
And you think you have pride just because you have things you think you can be proud of? Despite accepting, wait. Actually why am I talking to you? YOU ARE CHAD. YOU ARE MY ENEMY. I should have realized sooner. It's in your interest for us inferiors to be complacent and accept a fraction of what you get for our hard work. I get it now.

>>36597237
>The other person has to start the conversation,

If you're ill at ease, this may scare people. Just ask them how they are. That's all you need to do. Have a kind, caring smile when you ask, and ask. No biggie. Don't care too much, just do it.

>>36597448
No... But I think it's my acting... The way I speak, things which I speak about, the way I act while having a conversation... But still, I've tried to act and speak differently, but I can't... I've tried really hard "not to be annoying" but it can't be done...

>>36597297

Not going to find it that way. I do have a dA account too. Haven't posted anything since 2012. I had a thing going on, even got a daily deviation award or something, I forget the name. I can only hope nobody ever finds out my work...

>>36597385
>Those can be nice for those if you don't like traditional therapy methods.

You mean medical. CBT and DBT are fairly "traditional" for treating depression and BPD.

Group therapy is recommended, too.

>>36597494
>Goddamn. Nobody knows about your penis, Dan!
Are you really this dense? Having a big penis gives you confidence, which shows.

>>36597513
You're wrong. It's like someone mugged you, but told you that if you don't fight back, he will leave you enough money to take a bus back home. Sure, you're objectively better off if you don't resist, but you helped your enemy. That's what Nick is doing and every non-Chad man out there who is okay with his position in life. Being mugged every day and offering to suck the muggers dick. Not challenging the unjust framework, but working hard for drops that fall from Chads mouth. A Cuck.

>>36597421
>For you, acceptance of humiliation is logical.

I feel no humiliation for things out of my control. Unlike you, that's where you're illogical and hysterical.

If I fight a giant and lose, I don't feel humiliated, the odds were against me. I judge myself accordingly. If I beat a dwarf, I'm not proud, the odds were against him.

You fight a giant, lose, and refuse to lose, as if you could, and then you spend your life crying about the mean unfair giant who kicked your butt.

Do you see how illogical your shit is?

>>36597452
>Did I choose to be born short and ugly? Did I choose to have a lower chance? No? Then I am NOT accepting it.

You're 178, not short, you're not ugly, your chances aren't lowered. You're not accepting to grow the fuck up is all you're not accepting.

Oh, Dan, you remind me of relationship arguments.

>>36597469

My therapist asked me this and I choked cause I didn't want anything.

1. Twizzlers that actually unravel
2. Some comic books to read

That's it and I feel horrible cause I don't really want that but it feels weird to always draw a blank when people ask that question.

>>36597489

Cognitive is about understanding the issues in depths so you can rethink them from a different angle and succeed.

DBT is Buddhism meets Borderline, talking to yourself to re-adjust to reality.

>>36597518

I knew something was up with Burbank. Maybe your unconscious wants to talk about him. Go ahead.

>>36597559
Well... I think it's weird even to ask them how they are we don't know each other... As you are saying... Maybe I am thinking too much about it, but it's really hard not to... Also, another question independent on the topic... Where should I go, if I think I have Tourettes syndrome?

>>36597721
There's nothing much to say about him. He used to be my best friend

>>36597623
>I feel no humiliation for things out of my control. Unlike you, that's where you're illogical and hysterical.
You don't feel humiliation that your hard work is giving you less than it would give someone who got born with better initial conditions?

It's like a function where you put in some amount of effort, money, you name it. Inside this function your input gets multiplied by an arbitrary constant and that gives you the result. For you the constant is for example 2, for Chad it can be 200. For every 2 dollars you put in, you get 4, while chad gets 400. Does this not sound AT ALL humiliating to you? You must be dense, deluded or just ignorant of reality and basic logic to protect your ... whatever.

>If I fight a giant and lose, I don't feel humiliated, the odds were against me.
Yeah that's nice and all. You can tell that to yourself as the giant is raping your wife and throwing your kids down the hill. Sure, you lost, sure, you will never get as much as him, but at least you're not humiliated. Fucking great!

>Do you see how illogical your shit is?
No I don't. Because it's not how my shit is.

>>36597548
>Well it's not my fault that Switzerland has socialist government.

What's that have anything to do with anything? You are failing the Sally-Anne test. Stop missing the point, goddamit.

>I really don't understand where you're getting at.

Remove the shit-tainted glasses from your eyes and you will see the light. Point being: I pay taxes, I can't do anything about it, so I don't care and don't feel humiliated, it's the same for everyone.

>And you think you have pride just because you have things you think you can be proud of?

Uh, yes? That's how it works. I'm proud of many things. Problem?

>YOU ARE CHAD. YOU ARE MY ENEMY.

Splitting on me again? I love you, Dan. I wouldn't waste so much time on you if I didn't.

>>36597647
Grow the fuck up? Accepting that for my hard work I will get less than Chad for arbitrary reasons is refusing to grow the fuck up? Then you are completely right. I REFUSE TO GROW THE FUCK UP.

Nick, are you sure this doesn't have something to do with the blood levels in your body ? fainting often occurs from it.
if it is something else (I am not responsible for any illegal activity!!!) Cannabis is said to cure alot of illnesses like IBS and other nausea related stuff.
if it is a mental problem, seek help, meditate, do yoga, releax. Everything will turn out okay.

>>36597773
>Point being: I pay taxes, I can't do anything about it, so I don't care and don't feel humiliated, it's the same for everyone.
Point being: You're a cuck. I also pay taxes and it sickens me that I am among others funding single mothers raising Chads spawn.

Whatever man. You got lucky. I didn't. You will keep trying to tell me I should accept that you will get more and I will get less. Nuh-uh.

>>36597601
>Are you really this dense? Having a big penis gives you confidence, which shows.

Look, Danny boy, it doesn't. For one, when you're a teenager, the only other dicks you see are from porn, and most are well-endowed, so when you do have a big cock, you end up thinking you're average. You don't realise you have anything special until you get naked with a girl, who informs you that you're above average. So, in that case, you got no extra confidence. Everyone's private bits are a bit weird anyway, few people find them reasons to be proud.

>>36597601
>That's what Nick is doing

I doubt it. You are much more affected by Chadology than anyone else. You're Chadding yourself off. You're your own Chad.

>>36597668

You don't want a wonderful woman who loves you?

You don't want endless money?

World peace?

>>36597854
> For one, when you're a teenager, the only other dicks you see are from porn, and most are well-endowed, so when you do have a big cock, you end up thinking you're average.
And when you have a small cock, you end up think you're microscopic. When you think you're microscopic you are less confident than when you think you are average. Not exactly rocket science.

>You're Chadding yourself off.
No. Even if I worked hard, I would never get as much as them. I'm not Chadding myself off, I was never born to be alive.

>>36597704

I've done CBT and ended up giving my therapy advice/letting her vent to me as well. It was funny at first but I had to let that therapist go cause the roles ended up being reversed each session and got more personal with her information. (Fuck paying for someone else to spill their guts on my time)

I suffered from IBS for 3 years-
Alternative medicine turned out to be the answer.

Conclusion: if something is a cure, it is illegal and not mainstream... therefore alternative stuff is often the answer

>>36597489
Both work to teach the patient how to better regulate their mood. The idea is to prevent vicious circles of negative thoughts by breaking down problems and emotional reactions into smaller parts, then learning what is and isn't helpful.
Sessions usually involve breaking down a problem (for instance, social anxiety) into smaller components (for instance, physical reactions, thoughts, emotions, etc), then highlighting ways to correct or act on these components. Between each sessions, you're asked to practice and report on what worked or did not work.

Boiled down example from a borderline case:
> "I am afraid others will hate me"
> "One of the reasons I am afraid of that is, when I make mistakes that harm people I experience intense guilt and self-hate"
> The therapist's job then it to walk the borderline individual through why these feelings are not helpful
> Then the patient is asked to write down, with help from the therapist, thoughts that will be helpful to break that specific negative thought pattern
> Example: "I feel intense guilt and self-hate but I know from therapy those feelings are out of proportion" / "the guilt or self-hate I experience are only my own feelings and do not represent what others think of me" / "rather than focusing on self-hate, I must fix my mistake instead of avoiding it" / etc

I am in an uncertain living situation and know what must be done to make it bearable, but though it is unstable, it is secure and somewhat comfortable, so I can easily dismiss my issues until I try to realise my goal and realise that my condition is putting massive obstacles in the way to the point where it becomes impossible. This is why I seek help, but once I sit in front of a shrink or doctor I don't know how to express myself.

>>36597723

Maybe a psychiatrist.

Asking someone how they are is always a good thing. It means you care for them. Nobody will get mad.

>>36597753
>He used to be my best friend

A very sad short story already.

Name Anon
>I feel terrible thinking negative stuff about myself
> But I enjoy it
> What is wrong ?

>>36597574
What about trying to be yourself though. Would you want friends who require you to try your hardest to be "non-annoying" all the time? Bonus question: did you ever ask anyone what they didn't like about you?

>>36597893
>I was never born to be alive
No, that is ALL you were born to be.

>>36597767
>You don't feel humiliation that your hard work is giving you less than it would give someone who got born with better initial conditions?

Dan, that doesn't make any fucking sense! Everything is harder for me because of my heavy past, but as I explained to you a year ago, if your path is harder, you come out stronger, with more experience. Everything you live gives you something in return. Don't waste that extra experience on bitter points.

You can either learn or be angry. Your rationalisations are pure mental illness and make zero sense.

You're just sucking your own dick and whining about the taste of your cum. Just fucking stop.

>>36597854
>until you get naked with a girl, who informs you that you're above average
So girls, who don't have penises, totally know what an average penis is, while men, who have penises, have no clue what an average penis is? Makes sense to me. But what about gay men? How will they ever find out if their penis is average or not?

>>36597792

Say you refuse, what is your option now? Do tell.

>>36598013
Inferior people are alive, but never live. Working hard for scraps of what gifted people get is not life. Sure, many inferiors condition themselves it is, but it's obviously just sour grapes. So is happiness. Happiness is sour grapes. You tell yourself you don't need attractive partners, money and success to be happy because you can not get these things due to your inferiority. It's all one huge cope.

>>36597980
Indeed, I wish he was here

>>36597601
What do you do to challenge that unjust framework? Complain on 4chan that society doesn't embrace your facial structure and penis size?

>>36597836

Thank you.

I'm sure it's not about blood levels, because there's a context I'm not sharing. I'm seeing a therapist several hours a week and will join group therapy as soon as possible.

As to things turning OK, I'm not sure.

>>36597926
Did you only drop in to enlighten us with your flawgic? Thank you, goodbye.

>>36597846
>Point being: You're a cuck. I also pay taxes and it sickens me that I am among others funding single mothers raising Chads spawn.

You are so damn obsessed. Taxes fund everything. I don't believe in Chad, that's a goddam meme, Dan.

You probably make more money than I make, because of your gifts and handsome face and huge cock, right?

Your shit makes NO sense.

>>36597623
He's not even fighting the giant, he's sitting in front of the giant and crying about how much of an unfair battle it would be.

>>36597867

No, I don't want companionship
More money, More problems
World peace can never be achieved due to humans having opposing viewpoints.

A couple of months ago I did want to die but the bar that held the noose broke.

>>36597914

Amazing. truly amazing. Maybe you should become a therapist.

>>36597940

Useful post. I hope to see you more often. I'm sure I saw you before, but I forget what we exchanged.

>>36598032
>if your path is harder, you come out stronger, with more experience
But you spend longer doing it. Gifted people use that extra time to acquire extra skills/experience, therefore they come out on top.

Let's say you are really fucking dumb and it takes you 10 years to learn english. But since you are persistent, you work past it, develop work ethic, learning system, etc. Good for you! But that smart guy still learned 4 languages in the time that you struggled to learn one.

What you are using is one of the typical delusions. Assuming that there is some inherent loftyness in living through hardship. There is not. That's once again just cope.

>>36598041
Do what has to be done. When someone attacks you, you retaliate.

>>36597948

Write your words down. Read them out.

>>36597996

You enjoy it because it relieves you from pressure: if you are indeed a piece of shit, nothing is expected of you.

Just a guess.

>>36598062
There is not much you can realistically do, nothing makes a difference. But it's still better to not ignore it.

Point is, if you try to damage Chads and Normies, they will imprison/punish you even if you justified. They are like a mob, trying to protect themselves and enjoy life on your expense.

>>36598038
>So girls, who don't have penises, totally know what an average penis is, while men, who have penises, have no clue what an average penis is?

Woman, I think I said woman. With experience. As to men, remove the N.

I'll say no more.

>>36598085
I don't get what you're saying. If you take average pays in both of our countries, it shouldn't be hard to figure out which one of us likely earning more money.

>>36598102
Yes. I'm not going to give the giant the joy of fighting. When you fight the giant, he thinks he won fairly, when he just got lucky.

>>36598003
I am myself... I have hard times lying about stuff... So I don't think I would be able to subconsiously lie about who I am... And since I am fully myself all the time, I've came to the conclusion, that it's rare to like someone like me... And for the bonus question? Yes I did... I am pretty sure I did... But I can't tell you, what was the response... As I've said before, I have trouble remembering things for to me unknown reason...

>>36597965
Yeah well... I can try... It will basically end up again with them finding me annoying, but sure I can try... But what can I do with the memory part and the "not doing things I need" part?

>>36598107

A couple of people said I should since I tend to hear people out, give the professional advice first then try to be realistic without overstepping my boundaries and try to come from different angles/perspectives as well.

Kezboard malfunction. Will have to reboot.

>>36598195
Why fight? Clearly you're in a society you don't like, and where you're not liked either. Pack your bags and leave. There has to be a place somewhere in our big blue planet where society works more in your favor, or at least isn't an obstacle.

>>36598249
You'd be surprised how many therapists have backstories along the lines of "I was seriously fucked in the head and I guess I got good at dealing with mental issues"

>>36598303
Typical for normies.

>Hey! We're gonna treat you like shit!
>What? You don't just accept it like a cuck?
>THEN FUCKING LEAVE.

How are people surprised that mass shootings happen?

Is it me or everything looks blue now?

>>36598056
Your life is what you make of it. If you want to spend your days crying about how unfair everything is and how every single person has everything so much better than you because of their facial bone structure and dick size that's fine. But I'm going to LIVE my life, while you waste away bitching about things you LITERALLY CANNOT CHANGE. What's the point Dan? We're all someone's PCs, and when our char sheets came up those 3d6 weren't too kind. Sure I'm not very nice to look at. Doesn't mean I irrationally hate the beautiful people.

>>36598245
Have you seen a therapist about your socializing issues? Sorry, I don't remember if you mentioned something like that or not.

>>36598400
I browse in night mode so its always dark as this board

>>36598432
>But I'm going to LIVE my life
Keep telling yourself that as you see men who get much more than you out of life for less effort. Just keep repeating it, maybe it will make the reality go away.

>Sure I'm not very nice to look at. Doesn't mean I irrationally hate the beautiful people.
Why not? They're taking away from you. They're taking success and opportunities that could have been yours, but aren't. For completely arbitrary reasons.

>>36598400

It doesn't look blue anymore...

Either my computer is acting up... or much, much worse is next for me.

I'm excited.

>>36598469

I use night mode too, but it was bluer than it was and is now.

>>36598387
That's called being rational. If it's not possible to fight, and if staying is truly as negative as your describe, then the best option is to leave.

Let's frame it another way: why would you stay? What do you have to gain from allowing your life to go to shit? Isn't that what accepting humiliation means? Staying there, in humiliating circumstances, when you could leave and actually live a decent life somewhere else?

>>36598559
It is possible to fight. But the other side will fight back and win just because of numbers, even though the justice is not on their side.

Staying here means I can do damage to them. As much as I can. To you, to Nick, everyone.

Sharing time.

My Loved One had frequent nightmares. I'd always wake up to the sounds she made, very scary sounds, at that. Like the way it'd sound if someone tried to scream while having no facial muscles.

I'd wake up and instantly wake her up from the nightmare. I'd hold her and say her name, telling her she's having a nightmare and that everything is fine. She'd then spring into my arms, saying thank you, and falling asleep again, safe and sound.

When she was away, the idea of her having nightmares and me not being able to save her from them killed me.

When I knew she was leaving (none of us really wanted to part, that's why it's such a painful thing), I couldn't handle the idea. Still can't.

The morning I told her the truth that would destroy both of our lives, I was downstairs, and I heard her having a nightmare. I ran upstairs, woke her up from it, held her back to sleep. Then I held her for a long time and cried silently. I don't know how long. I knew everything was about to change. I knew I was about to hurt the person I had cared for for 7 years. The worst hurt possible. I cried so much.

Then everyone went to hell for months.

>>36598491
>Keep telling yourself that as you see men who get much more than you out of life for less effort. Just keep repeating it, maybe it will make the reality go away.
What is your definition of "more out of life"?
>Why not? They're taking away from you. They're taking success and opportunities that could have been yours, but aren't. For completely arbitrary reasons.
If you are in an employment field where looks matter, and feel you're ugly, you may be in the wrong field. Where I work in IT, my personal appearance doesn't matter, just the quality and on-timeness of my work.
>>36598506
I don't know I'm still on my phone

>>36598579
>Staying here means I can do damage to them. As much as I can. To you, to Nick, everyone.

What?

You don't do damage to "Chads". Why would you want to do me damage?

>>36598146
I come here from time to time. We haven't exchanged anything memorable, I have an interest in psychology, plus I got some precious advice here a while back.

>>36598646
What happened Nick? What chcanged?

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>>36598734
>plus I got some precious advice here a while back.

What was it?

>>36598755

I told my Loved One I had been in another relationship for months.

>>36598682
>What is your definition of "more out of life"?
Getting better results due to halo effect.

>If you are in an employment field where looks matter
Looks matter everywhere. Even in IT. Who do you think is the manager? The good looking guy who often can't even program much, but has social skills (AKA looks). He gets all the credit while you work for FUCKING PEANUTS.

>>36598579
And when you fail at making a difference, it will be their fault and not yours. That's a comfortable safety net.

>>36598703
Yeah I don't. One day.

Why you? You're a Chad.

Case in point: >>36598774
>I told my Loved One I had been in another relationship for months.

>>36594772
>>>36594846
>nobody
>>36594984
>>>36597965

>>36596382
>Nobody
>>36596463
>Nobody
>>36596738
>Nobody
>>36597494
>Nobody
nobody

heh

>>36598809
And it's the truth. >:]

>>36598646
I like reading your experiences, because I can't relate to them on any level. Our lives are so different. What truth did you tell her? I must've missed it in another thread.

>>36598817

Why worry about other people if they make you miserable/angry?

>>36598908
It's not the worrying that makes me miserable and angry. It's the injustice, their very existence. That they exist and get more out of life than me.

>>36598646
I really don't understands how to respond when you post these stories. It's unbelievable what you've been through. If half of what has happened to you had happened to me, I'm not sure I'd be able to cope. You're a strong man. Stronger than me

I haven't been in control of my life since I was in elementary school. In my grade 6, I started dissociating often and socially isolated myself. I only had one friend, and all I remember about him is that he forced me onto his bed and held me down. After this the dissociation got really bad, I socially isolated myself and would keep playing vidya to escape.

I repressed pretty much the entire year and have trouble remembering it to this day. I've been running for 10 years but I feel like my past is catching up. I've been able to fake social interactions for the most part, but the isolation and dissociation have been coming back in full force. I have no idea what to do. I got a neuropsych evaluation and I was diagnosed with ADHD and depression, but the Adderal did nothing but make me jittery. I'm really confused.

>>36598462
No, I haven't... I am kinda anxious about seeing anyone like that...

>>36598774
I was conflicted about my interest for psychology and human nature. I'm not a warm person. When I talked about it, people here had no idea why I wasn't pursuing what I was interested in. Back then it wasn't part of my philosophy or upbringing to think human nature in itself could be worth studying. I made the effort change my priorities and it was very well worth it.

>>36598926

Mind explaining a bit more?
Why would you compare your life to another?
How is it injustice to you?

>>36598796
>Getting better results due to halo effect
How does anyone else affect the quality of your life?

>Looks matter everywhere. Even in IT. Who do you think is the manager? The good looking guy who often can't even program much, but has social skills (AKA looks). He gets all the credit while you work for FUCKING PEANUTS.
>IT Manager
>Good Looking
Haven't laughed that hard in awhile, thanks.
>Manager getting the credit for my work. HA. You obviously know nothing about the field of IT Dan. In any code I've typed my signature is strewn throughout every important block.

>>36598817
>Why you? You're a Chad.

I am? Because? And just like that, all the words we exchanged become nothing because you decided I was a Chad?

As to your case in point, life is more complicated than you know, clearly. I'd recommend staying off my case for this one, as I will not take it kindly if you try to use this to argue your case.

>>36599004
For my hard work I get less due to my shitty starting position. That is not just.

Why compare? Life is a competition. Believe it's not is a shitty platitude invented so that inferior people don't feel bad.

>>36598836

>nobody knows your penis!

Fun stuff, Nobo.

>>36599018
And holy shit I fucked up the greentext

>>36599036
You just gonna ignore all the posts before you rebooted then?

>>36598774
Oh... Why? I want you to tell me the reason you were in two relationships. Not the justification, but the reason(s)

>>36598881

see

>>36598774

>>36598931

I'm not so sure. You've been through extremely violent things. You're strong.

As to coping, I'm not coping much lately. I pretend well at work, much of the time, but it's falling apart.

>>36599018
>You obviously know nothing about the field of IT Dan.
Yeah except for majoring in CompSci you dumb fuck. Who gives a shit about code? No one. What matters is the functionality, the front-end. No one gives a diddly-fucking shit about your signed function somewhere in the pile of source codes.

>>36599036
You could get not one, but two women to be in a relationship with you at the same time => you got lucky to be a Chad. I will use this to argue, what can you do? Nothing.

>>36598990

Parents, describe them.

>>36599111
When you entered the second relationship, why did you not break up the first?

>>36599111
I wouldn't say one act of violence I've been through could compare to anything that's happened to you. I hope you find happiness. I hate someone as kind as you feeling bad

>>36599086

Link me to the ones I missed.

>>36599108

I will tell you in private. As much as it's possible.

>>36599126
And you resort to attacking me again.
Bye Dan. I hope someone can help you, you poor, sad, lost soul. But all you seem to want to do is argue with and attack us for trying to understand and maybe help you.

>>36599199

Here is mine... I don't know about others...
>>36598245

>>36599218
Its ok Nick, you don't have to if you don't want to but maybe a different perspective may help you. I would know.

>>36599108
Because he's a cheating sack of shit that never loved his "loved one" and nobody should ever trust him or what he says.

>>36598990
Find a good therapist. Sounds like you have a couple things to unpack, and for that you want a professional you're comfortable with.

ADHD is another thing. I can tell you it takes time for most people to find the right medication for them, but aside from that I'm afraid I'm very much useless when it comes to anything purely neurological.

>>36599126
>You could get not one, but two women to be in a relationship with you at the same time => you got lucky to be a Chad. I will use this to argue, what can you do? Nothing.

This had nothing to do with luck. I believe my job served me as social therapy for years, reacquainting me with humanity and showing me I was appreciated by people. This was very hard work originally, as I was very shy.

What can I do? I can stop talking with you. Have some respect is all I ask.

>>36599199
>>36598148
>>36598103
>>36598228
>>36598060

You didn't reply to any of these

>>36599264

because interpersonal relationships are just so simple, amirite?

>>36599170

It's a very complicated situation.

I'm here. I'm having a poor time of it. Spoke to my mother and now I feel dreadful. I'm also causing problems for my own relationship as a consequence. Drinking again, you see. I've said I'll hold off on drinking tonight and wait until I've had therapy tomorrow before I act.

>>36598992
None of us here can offer solutions, not on an anonymous board with people who mostly aren't therapists.
The very first thing you can tell your therapist can be, "I am kinda anxious about seeing anyone," it's also their job to adapt to you.

I hope you stick around in any case. I'd be interested in hearing from you again, if you want.

>>36599385
Care to share what transpired to make you feel dreadful? How have you responded to therapy so far?

>>36599126
You sound like a martyr. A willing and possibly eager one.

>>36599193

You make little of what happened to you, I'm not sure I would.

Today I've considered very seriously the idea of studying psychology to become a therapist for real. With my English, I'd never run out of business where I live, with loads of expats, and most therapists who speak English here don't have a good level.

Maybe this could work. My Loved One was the first to suggest the idea.

>>36599236

Dan, THIS is what happens because of you alone. No luck here, no gift, just you behaving in a certain way that makes you lose opportunities.

>>36598245
>It will basically end up again with them finding me annoying,

Why do they find you annoying?

>>36599518
>>36599415

So... Is your final verdict that I should go and see psychotherapist?

>>36599574

Answered this here:
>>36597574
>>36598245

>>36599518
Sounds like a good idea, especially if doing it will make you happy. You've definitely helped people in these threads including me I I know you can make a difference

>>36599351
Fair enough, you don't have to tell. I just find it such an uncertain scenario for the Nick I've learned about from these threads. You seem so sensitive (in the positive sense), empathetic and invested in people.

>>36599437
I find that he gives fairly consistent advice, though in other ways he irritates me. Anyway, my mother wanted advice because she's in with a drug dealer yet again and she knows what I'll say, and she won't take my advice though she agrees with it.

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>>36599264
>Because he's a cheating sack of shit that never loved his "loved one" and nobody should ever trust him or what he says.

>mfw

>>36599665
Was your advice to fork over all the drugs?

>>36599716
It was not to get treated like a mug, which is exactly what she's doing. She's being one of those dumb cunts who takes the fall for some shithead over and over and says
>But he loves me
At the end
Fuck's sake.

>>36599704
I dont believe that. Not with how you've acted that I've seen. I could be wrong, but I doubt it.

>>36599301

True. I tend to ignore Dan's posts when he's having a tantrum.

Dan and I have a long history, dating back a year. We used to have massive post wars. It was crazy.

Some posts were responded to by others, and the answers are fine, so I left them as such.

If anyone really wants my answer, link again.

>>36599385

Stop drinking! Stop talking to your mother!

>>36599592
It could help to have advice from a professional who knows you. If you're too nervous about seeing a therapist in real life, then we can talk in private if you want.

I have a gf but I don't love her, nothing really makes me feel satisfaction anymore. I met a girl on omegle who wanted to die and I watched her hang herself, I enjoyed it. I'm thinking that I might want to hurt young women but I'm worried that I will permanently destroy whatever I have left inside. I'm still recovering from a terrible drug overdose half a year ago that really messed up my psyche.

>>36599842
I've only had one beer tonight (while I was on the phone with her and because I was on the phone to her). I didn't call her, she called me and dumped all this shit on me again.

>>36599592

It can't hurt, definitely. And don't force yourself to see someone you don't feel is right for you. Give it 3 sessions or so, to see how things go. I liked mine after one hour. I realised she was nervous in the beginning. She's more relaxed now.

But yeah, seek a therapist!

>>36599161
I didn't know my biological dad. My stepdad is pretty cool, if a little emotionally distant. My mom is pretty normal, but she gets on my case for tiny things pretty often and we don't get along too well. Usually we get into arguments because she gives me shit, I take it too seriously and get defensive and then it escalates.
>>36599284
Yeah, I really need to. I'm moving in 3 months so I'm gonna find a shrink in my new area, but I'm not sure what kind of shrink I should find since what I'm dealing with is unclear.

>>36597574

Conversation doesn't come naturally to you?

Focus on questions: people like talking about themselves, it makes them feel cared for, interesting, etc. Which they are.

I don't know what the fuck I am doing in my life.
I dropped uni because of not being able to make friends so I got depressed. I also didn't give a fuck about engineering.
The thing is after I dropped uni I tried really hard to have a new start by going to a counsellor to help me find something I'm interested in and it didn't help at all. I said I was going to get my driving licence too but I haven't done anything.
So now I'm just playing videogame in my parents house and wondering what's the purpose of my life.
Any help is welcome

>>36599663

And all this is true. It was an unlikely scenario. I don't spend a day without crying about the pain I've made my Loved One go through, even now, as she had to entirely abandon her life here and move back to another country. Her sadness, and all the rest (and God knows there was so, so much more) are carved in my soul. I'll never recover.

>>36599919
Well... I like to listen to people and their problems... But I don't like to ask... I feel really nosy when I ask all the time...

>>36599926
> Do you have dreams or interests? What about when you were younger?
> Why did you pick engineering?
> What things are you naturally good at?

>>36599812

I try not to believe it either, but betrayal is betrayal. Definitely the worst thing I have done in my life, and the most hurt I have done to anyone. I'm still reeling from it all.

>>36599868

Ever seen a therapist?

http://www.pdchat.co.uk/psychtests/aspd/asocial.php

>>36599885
>I didn't call her, she called me and dumped all this shit on me again.

Don't respond. I think you need distance from your parents. Restrict her access to you. Allow her to write, nothing more. That's what I did with mine.

Fuckers still haven't responded. Not that I mind, but they have the nerve to pretend they care, then they take 3 weeks to respond. Kek be praised.

>>36600133
It's very difficult to do so when she says she has no one else she can turn to.

Sharing time (feel free to share anything too).

My Loved One has long hair. I taught myswelf how to braid hair (was trying to French braid well), and my Loved One loved when I did her hair, because it was like I was with her all the time. I'd do her braid in the morning, and she'd spend the whole day having me in her hair, so to speak. I loved doing braids. I'd redo if it was done too badly. I became pretty good at it.

Now she has to do it on her own.

>tears.pjg

>>36593662
Should I just give up on this girl I'm talking to? R9k has ruined me and I'm paranoid that she would cheat on me if we ever were together.

>>36599910

>emotionally distant
>gives you shit

Red flags, both.

Give concrete examples.

>>36600208

Why? What happened? What did she say?

r9k makes everybody paranoid, try not to take it to heart

>>36600042

Do you mind people asking you questions? If not, then don't worry about others, they won't mind either. They can always say no if they don't want to respond.

Feeling panicked and alienated. I can't stop seeing the faults of people and the world. It's making me feel depressed. There is nothing good I can see from anyone anymore. I don't see a point to trying for a world where I can only see bad. What's good? What's worth living for? Other people's definition of good just makes me feel even worse. It's never good enough. Am I being a perfectionist? My brain can't adapt to past, present or future. It's stuck in the inevitable. Their motivations, their perspective and their insights fall flat for me. I relate to nobody enough to feel that communicating with them or sharing my time with them is worth it. I have people I fell into this with, people who didn't leave, but I'm finding it hard to care, to pretend to be somebody I'm not. The worst of it is that I pretend the most with myself. The only way I can feel real is through alcohol. Otherwise I'm so buried beneath the weight I can't move. It's all so black with none of the white. It's either shit or it's shit, but sometimes I desperately shovel the shit because I'm suffocating down in the hole. I don't tell myself there's any flowers blooming for me on the surface, or there's anything worth trying for, but the logical conclusion is that the alternative will be more painful, so get to fucking shoveling. I have mood swings but I have no feelings of grandeur or self-worth. I just phase in and out of debilitating depression and full-blown panic. Deep down I know the futility and it keeps me grounded. It keeps me dead. Feels like invisible handcuffs. It's blowing in the wind, it's hanging in the ozone, humming a familiar tune of a certain sickness. The clock is ticking. My blood is flowing. I'm finding it hard to do things. Nothing feels right. Getting out of bed feels utterly wrong. Words don't seem to suffice, but I understand. I am not aligned with the ticking of the clock or the beating of the heart. I'm aligned in a wooden box six feet under the earth. That's the cure.

>>36599910
You said you felt like your past was catching up. You need someone who can deal with a potentially loaded past. It's actually the first thing you should mention when looking for a shrink, ask them what kind of experience they have with dissociation and loaded pasts in general. And if a therapist doesn't seem like your type during the first meeting, feel free to look elsewhere. You and your therapist have to be compatible.
I'd love to give you more specific advice on what kind of qualification to look for, but I don't know where you're from. And I'm not from any english speaking country myself anyway.

Okay this sounds strange but what do girls in the age of 19-21 mean when they say i'm cute?

I hear this almost everytime when they make pictures of me or when i touch my hair.

I only started to talk recently to girls.
I avoided them my whole life until now.
Now i'm surrounded by these creatures.

It feels so fucking strange when they start to talk about their period when we are both in the same room.