First or worst drunk stories

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Continuing

>Friends call my parents out of fear
>They get there and have to take me home
>Puke over 10 times on the way and at home
>Lay down on bed feeling a bit sober
>Want to fucking kill my self out of anxiety thinking about tomorrow
>Go to school, absolutely everyone knows about it, apparently there were more people that I knew there than I thought
>Don't know what to feel about all this
>Don't really give a shit and laugh about it too
>Parents lost all trust they had in me
>They are always afraid of me drinking everytime I got out for a while
>Don't drink again till I'm 16
>Start drinking again, buy a liter of vodka and share it with friend at my place
>Nearly died again
>Can only drink beer now, will vomit if I drink anything else

So, what are your stories robots

>>36593180
how did you just go buy alcohol at 12?

>>36593350
In my country they don't really give a shit, nearly everyone drinks once they are 16/17, and my town is not really big or small so you can buy it anywhere

>>36593180
>having friends after the age of 10
fuckin normie

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>Middle of the year
>Time for a little family vacation
>Went to a small town to enjoy the festivities
>First day of parties went smoothly
>On the second day i met my executioner
>Executioner started to drink pure vodka
>Me and some friends that traveled with us started to drink our beer
>Got a little drunk and the thought pf taking down executioner grew stronger
>Friends and i agreed to try and fight that drinking beast
>Got abandoned by friends and started to fight him alone like the retard iam
>Things went blank
>Flashes of my sister carrying me home appears in mind
>When I got home vomited my whole pitiful existence and slept in the bathroom
>Aunt sees that scene and laughs
>Wake up in bed all vomited with some bag tied to my face

At least my family have seen my retarded side and have no more expectations for me

>>36593350
because its a fake story

>>36593314
Holy shut that happened to me I got black out drunk a few times as a kid and every time i drink straight liquor I puke

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>21st birthday
>normie bros convince me to do something
>small get together I guess
>they all bring tons of booze
>as the night goes on more and more people start showing up until it's a proper party
>taking ridiculous amounts of shots of Fireball to get over anxiety
>last thing I remember is my 5th or 6th shot and drunkenly toasting to "making the best of the new year"
>wake up on the bathroom floor hugging the floor mat
>vomit into the toilet for a while then head out of the bathroom
>some girl is in her panties making eggs
>a-anon? Holy shit are you okay, you drank enough to kill an elephant
>finger guns and smile
>ahaha, I'm gonna puke s'more
>uhm, okay?
>look in the mirror
>beard has vomit in it
>shirt has vomit on it
>quick shower
>ask what happened to eggs-girl
>she shows me countless videos of me going "ONE MORE SHOT" and people wrestling the bottle away from me
>mfw the shame hits

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I can't remember anymore but I bet it was niccccccce, since if it wasn't I wouldn't be drinking this much

>>36594439
>people showing up

God I wish I didn't live in a small town

>>36594439
You should try fireball and apple juice that shit is delicious. Or you can put it in your hot chocolate

>>36594542
I will never touch Fireball again for as long as I live. I definitely got alchol poisoning that night

Even the smell of cinnamon makes me gag

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>>36594439
>>she shows me countless videos of me going "ONE MORE SHOT" and people wrestling the bottle away from me

Im glad no one ever recorded me, I've done some stuff that is really funny, but last thing I'd want would be people being able to see it, and just the smell of vodka or any strong alcohol in general makes me gag too, and most of the times I vomit if I drink it

>>36593180
>Join the army at 17, ace basic, go to DLI
>our class is me, three other guys right out of basic, and three girls out of basic, and a special forces guy from Bragg
>One of the girls, Leila, is hawt as fuck - Japanese from Hawaii, gymnast in high school. She hooks up with Lonnie, a good ol' boy from Alabama, who is in our class
>other girls and guys and I date around, nothing serious
>After a year graduate Classmates decide to have a party
>Guy from Bragg leaves immediately, so it is just the trainees. Get a suite at a hotel
>Two of the guys are 21 so they buy about 20 cases of cheap beer. We all just watch movies, eat pizza, and drink
>I had never had more than 1 or 2 beers at a time before, but was having fun
>Lonnie and Greg start drinking tequila shots - other guy joins in. I decline
>Girls start drinking tequila except for Leila - she was sticking to a few beers
>After a while the tequila drinkers go to the other end of the suite, can't remember why, and Leila and I are watching buckaroo banzai and chillin'
>After the movie she looks for Lonnie, then rushes back.
>I am drunk (nothing serious, just first time) but know something is wrong. Go look
>two of the guys and one girl are asleep Check the bedroom
>Lonnie and Amy are in bed, asleep, and naked.Amy has cum all over her back
>Go to talk to Leila
>after talking for a while she says something like 'I need this' and just - jumped me
>She pulled my clothes off, sucked me hard, then rode me like a porn star on meth. She came 2-3 times before I did, then immediately dropped, sucked until I was hard, and rode me again. She came 3-4 more times before I did
>She said 'thanks. You're a good friend' and took a shower and went to the barracks
>I took a shower and Amy was staggering in as I left the bathroom
>I slept on the couch
more

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>>36593180
>>36593314
Legitimately retarded

>>36595079
>I wake up and Lonnie is confused
>He is certain he fucked LEILA because he is naked, but she left
>At first I think he is fucking around, but he obviously has zero memory of what he did
>Amy is upset, but plays along
>I bolt and catch Leila in the chow hall, tell her what is what
>She doesn't believe me, but Lonnie comes in and it is obvious - he's majorly hung over and apologizing that he can't remember her and him,, and he must have been rude and fallen asleep on her, etc. Fucking too hungover to act and too clueless to be lying
>She sorta' - goes with it.
>She tells me later that she's sorry. I told her not to worry about it
>We all go to follow on schools within the week; me, Lonnie, Leila, and Amy to Goodfellow. A month after Lonnie and I go to Bragg, Leila to Meade, Amy to Korea
>A month after THAT, Lonnie announces he is marrying Leila, Marriage goes through, he gets sent to Meade to be with her
>And about 6 months later, she has a little girl.
>Lonnie has brown eyes, like everyone in his family. Leila is pure Japanese.
>Little girl? Blue eyes. Like me
>Leila and Lonnie have black hair.
>Little girl? Auburn. Like me
>Leila *demanded* she be named Michelle and calls her Micky
>I'm Michael and I told her (and no one else) my mother called me Micky when she was alive

I fell asleep at a strip joint once

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>turn 21
>get smashed at home alone
>end up stumbling to mailbox
>night
>no mail
>waiting for package
>get angry
>start throwing punches
>call mailbox a taco bender
>end up banging up hand and destroying mailbox
>tfw some neighbors saw this
>tfw they were hispanic

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>be me
>having a party with friends and brother
>making vodka/fanta cocktails
>got a few shots' worth in me, feeling alright, start just taking shots of Smirnoff
>get bored
>friend M is small time gangster
>says he saw some rival gang's graffiti on a wall and wants to go cross it out
>go with it because drunk, lost count of how many drinks I'd had
>stand up and fall on my ass
>M, A, R and I all go out
>bring 32s of Miller because live in ghetto in case you hadn't figured
>go to back of the target building
>M whips out can of spray paint and starts crossing out other tags
>halfway through big ass can of cheap beer at this point, can barely walk
>say "N-no buddy that's not how you do it let me show you"
>autistic hiccuping
>take M's paint and start drawing a big ass veiny dick on the wall
>fuck up and color my whole hand black
>R starts puking in a dumpster
>wild niggachu appears
>[paraphrase]
>"what the fuck are y'all doing here?"
>3 more dudes walk around corner with him
>M recognizes them from rival gang
>"shit let's go guys"
>Timetoabandonship.jpg
>start running
>African American gentlemen chase us for a block or so then fuck off
>tired by now
>all go crash at R's place
>R's cousin who likes me is there
>5.5/10 and batshit crazy so I was never interested
>sees how drunk I am and takes advantage of me
>say no but too tired to fight it
>repress the memory of the whole night until I see a crossed-out giant dick painted on the back of the store a week or so later and remember
>have self-crisis over the little rapey incident
>go to therapy for 2 years and shun women as a result

At least the hangover wasn't as bad as I was expecting

>>36594439
tfw I don't do anything dumb when drunk. My friends seemed pretty disappointed. I'm the same except I just say I'm drunk. Even when trashed. I act the same and just puke in private.

>>36595194
>>36595079
>A fellow Jody temporarily cucked the husband
My man

lets just say the first time I got drunk I blacked out.
Long story short the house I was in I did these things
>broke a sink in the bathroom
>threw up everywhere
>tried to rape a girl(the owner of the house) in front of everyone
>almost got into a fight with the neighbors
>woke up covered in my own vomit, smelling like shit
>first thing I hear from the girl " see you in court"

she actually forgot about me, I was scared shitless for a few whole months just waiting for the police to bust inside my flat.

>take shirt off
>do pushups
every time

>fight with gf
>decide to talk about it
>talking and drinking screwdrivers
>we're deep in screwdrivers and decide on make-up sex
>in the bedroom, but shitfaced
>making out, decide to go down on her
>say to her "I'll be right back"
>walk over to bathroom and puke my guts out
>walk right back in and go down on gf
>get her off, fuck her until I cum
>walk right back into bathroom and puke the rest of my guts out
>get back into bed
>gf had no idea what happened the net morning

>>36595194
>Goodfellow

You poor, poor, Intel sumbitch