Psychological Issues #45

>>36566894
You're entering in a most hated tripfaggot pantheon.

I posted late for the one on Monday >>36526638

>>36566916

It's only you, though. You'll notice nobody has any particular hate towards me, nobody minds. I do my thing in my thread with people who want to, and everyone's happy, except you, because you join a thread you're not interested in.

That's how I know you have an interest in being here, there's something you like. There's something you like to hate about me, because that's easier than to question yourself over it.

You most likely know the reason why already. Just know that makes two of us.

>>36566950

I remember, because of the button analogy; I use the same to estimate my level of depression. I had responded to you from my bed, as an anon, with a short message.

Do you connect your current state to anything that may have caused it?

>>36566953
Thank you to open my eyes.
Sorry Nick to have annoyed you.

Hey Nick, did I tell you about my anger issues?

>>36567033

The fact that you don't write English too well helps identifying you, you know.

I also note that you mostly post in the beginning of the threads, when I'm usually alone, but virtually never later on. You know why that is, of course.

You don't annoy me. Just like everyone else who posts here, you are dealing with your problems; the difference is that your way is not efficient for now.

>>36567089

No, but I read your posts from last night, and it made me think of bipolar but I forget why exactly. Something to do with mood changes, I suppose.

>>36567108
P-please no bully! Nick !

>>36567108
Do you want me to describe it again?

>>36567125
Just join us in a friendly conversation.

>>36566894
nick you make threads everyday do you not have a life

>>36566992

It hasn't always been on this level but I've always been low level and never tried hard. I barely passed school and I did work a bit here and there after I graduated but I always hated it.

>>36567136

Sure, go ahead.

>>36567160

How do you define high and low levels?

That Cambridge test gives no results! Dammit.

>>36567171
Well, every once in a while I feel super energetic. The reason why I call it anger is, because it's brought on by being angry. Sometimes I'm angry while like this sometimes it's just a good feeling. I feel extra conscious. I feel like I have superhuman abilities. I feel invincible. I feel like nothing can stop me.

>>36567344
>once in a while I feel super energetic.

This, this. That's the thing I saw last night. Mania, look it up.

It's very, very much like mania.

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Check that result. I expected something high, but not that high.

God dang.

>>36567171

Sluggish, not enthusiastic, taking more time than it should to complete a task. I have never been high level but I would assume it's not what my regular state is.

>>36567403

There's a misunderstanding between us.

my first question:

>Do you connect your current state to anything that may have caused it?

You never answered this (the way I meant the question, if at all), and then

>It hasn't always been on this level but I've always been low level and never tried hard.

When I asked about high and low levels, I was thinking of your depressive state, your condition.

Can you think of something that started your current state? Your condition?

>>36566894
Morning Nick! Its morning here so I'll say morning. Your thread is up much earlier than usual, you doin okay?

>>36567360
It sounds pretty similar, but I'm not like this for long. I can get it to last longer, but I have to try to use it. I usually zone out, and this brings the feeling down.

>>36567502

Wednedays have afternoons off in Switzerland. So I go to therapy for a long session, then I come home. That's why.

How are you?

>>36567510

That's a good clue to explore. There's more to you than a psychopath, good thing.

>>36567542
Was fine. But this board isn't good for my depression. Fucking cuddle thread hit me deep with the feels. Realizing I'm probably gonna be alone forever unless I settle for some heavily damaged goods. All I want in life is a decent girl to start a family with and my own place. Getting a place is nothing but hard work, easy to do. But finding someone worthy of raising my future kids is impossible.

>>36567452

Sorry, I'm not very bright and the depression has shrunk my brain. No, I feel like I've always been depressed. Low level depression for me is no will to do anything, high level is having suicidal thoughts and actively thinking of ways to kill myself.

>>36567555
A bipolar psychopath, that's great. I'll be going on a murder rampage anytime soon.

Hello Nick, slow day today

what is the link to this?
>>36567400

>>36567612
>But finding someone worthy of raising my future kids is impossible.

It's not that impossible. There are countless women out there who want to find a good man to have a family with.

>>36567626
>No, I feel like I've always been depressed.

Earliest memory of being in this state?

Have you done the depression test already? Not really necessary but always good to see your symptoms in more systemised ways.

>>36567629

I hope not!

>>36567641

https://psychology-tools.com/empathy-quotient/

Hey Nick. I'm also from switzerland. Is it worth visiting a psychologist if you can cope with daily life but are stuggling?

>>36567764

Yes, if it's a good one.

Often, a milder problem is worse than a huge one, because a huge one will force you to stop and deal with it. A milder problem, one that lets you live, but you struggle, can last for a long time, and it can wear you out little by little over the years, and leave you in a horrible state, and waste your time.

What are you struggling with? And where are you in Switzerland? (You don't have to answer.)

>>36567706

Can't really pinpoint a memory, everything seems to blur together. May I have a link to the test?

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I'm trying to get my life back on track. But whenever I try to sit down and study something, I start to panic a little then distract myself with trivial things. What do?

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>>36567706
welp, what does this mean?

>>36567706
I got 29/80.

>>36567821

https://www.depression-anxiety-stress-test.org/take-the-test.html

You'll probably get higher results than you thought, and not because the test is biased, but because you think less of your levels than they're at. That's my prediction.

>>36567834

Find out why you panic. Do you panic in other circumstances?

>>36567842
>welp, what does this mean?

That you forgot to answer the questions?

How do you get 8?

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>>36567673
But where? Churches are all 40+ women, I don't drink or smoke and hate being around drunks, and there is literally nothing else for an hour either direction. Also fuck online dating, not getting fished.

>>36567930
>But where?
>Also fuck online dating, not getting fished.

There's your answer. You can't get catfished if you use common sense. Choose a website that is more in depths than Tinder, see what happens, and don't get too involved before you meet the person.

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>>36567882
I took this test. What does this mean?

>>36568035

It means you have extremely severe depression.

As predicted, that's probably a lot more than you thought you had.

>>36568016
>common sense
>an fucking hero
Did you forget who I am? It took me three full months of blueballs to realize what was going on and leave my ex.

>>36568035
>>36568078

Wrong person, sorry.

It means you aren't doing as well as you thought you were, Eh, and your state is probably a defence against this severe depression of yours.

>>36568083

Common sense, or shoe on head. That's all you have to ask on a webcam, things that prove the person is who she says she is.

>>36567904
I just answered

>>36568095
I doubt it.

This is not original.

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>>36567882

WelI shit.

>>36568133

I can't understand how you'd get such a low score. How do you feel about my score? How do you understand it?

>>36568140

Psychopaths aren't automatically depressed; usually, they're not at all. Something's up with you.

>>36568145

I predicted correctly, right?

Take your depression very seriously, and realise it's really, really severe, because if you don't, you'll assume normal life is this hard, when it's not.

Things are supposed to be way more fun.

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>>36568108
But they'll just lie to me and take advantage of me again and again. I can't fucking do it anymore. I can't keep getting my heart torn out like that. I've only had two relationships since I was 16. Both were long-term(for me) and both ended with them cheating on me. All I'm grateful for is that I didn't offer my last ex pic related before I found out she was sleeping around.

>>36568204
People get depressed when they're bored. I'm always bored.

>>36568204
you can understand how people feel just by looking at them while I don't give a shit?

>>36568232

Any red flags before you found out the sleeping around?

Nice ring. Very nice.

Mine is always by my side.

>>36568240
>People get depressed when they're bored. I'm always bored.

No, people get bored when they're bored. Depression is not boredom. You're bored because you're depressed, not depressed because you're bored. You're bored when nothing is fun anymore, and when nothing is fun anymore, anhedonia, you have depression.

>>36568204

The fucked up part is I know that and I know I could probably do simple things like have a better diet and actually go outside to make myself feel better. I know in subconscious I probably want help because I'm actively discussing it and always bringing it up but in my conscious state I don't want to get better and just die because it seems much easier than trying. I've taken antidepressants before and been to a mental ward but I feigned feeling better so I could get out and stopped taking the pills because it didn't work.

>>36568243
>you can understand how people feel just by looking at them while I don't give a shit?

Yes, of course. Why don't you give a shit? How can you not give a shit? Even if I hate the person, I'll still feel for them and know how they're feeling.

>>36567785

I live in Aargau. I have been struggling with social interaction for as long as I can remember. Have gotten better at school, my grades are high. Still, I find myself only talk once or twice a day to the same person and just for a short period of time. It doesn't really bother me, as long as I'm not forced to interact with others. Which has been the case since a couple of months. I am simply unable to talk to people without making them upset at some point (after 10 minutes mostly) because I say something impolite, that I haven't been aware of. I also have some things that don't bother me but they are certainly not "normal". Thankfully my parents don't care too much about my mental health.

>>36568232
My plan to make sure that my girlfriend doesn't cheat on me, is threatening to kill her and her loved ones including the other guy. Just don't yell this at them, say it casually. Also whenever she jokes about cheating on me, I shove my finger up her ass. Then I make her admit that she's mine.

>>36568354
>I could probably do simple things like have a better diet and actually go outside to make myself feel better.

Yeah, but depending on what you have, this won't be enough and you may end up more depressed for having tried something that didn't work. I do advise a good diet regardless.

Meds will probably not help.

Can you see any causes for your condition?

>>36568328
Besides the 3 months straight blueballing, never messaging me except as replies, and never wanting to go anywhere with me? Went a week without sending her a first message. We didn't talk that week.

>>36568349
I don't know why I'd be depressed though.

>>36568328
Also why do you keep the ring beside you? It would hurt me to look at. I only dug that box up because it was relevant to this.

>>36568393

People will wonder why we keep talking in English, but that's the greatness of Switzerland.

>I also have some things that don't bother me but they are certainly not "normal".

Tell me about that.

>Thankfully my parents don't care too much about my mental health.

And that too.

Nice to see someone from my homeland, by the way!

>>36568431

I think some people are just broken, I was a defective product straight from the factory.

>>36568413

You're one fucked up mess. Allow me to explain, without shoving anything up your butt.

1. You shouldn't want to possess people, but to be loved and wanted by them. What's the point in having someone who doesn't want you? You can't be loved by someone like that. Do you want love or a slave? Don't even answer.

2. You shouldn't assume that cheating is about you or that it's personal.

3. I take your finger comment literally. If she stays with you, she certainly has major issues, as you do. I think I remember you mentioning things that showed she was a pretty toxic person herself, but I don't recall what exactly.

I don't think you're capable of a healthy relationship for the time being. I'm not sure you can love someone.

>>36568436
>never messaging me except as replies, and never wanting to go anywhere with me? Went a week without sending her a first message. We didn't talk that week.

Yeah, that's a pretty big one. It sounds like she kept you around, as an orbiter, rather than straight cheating on you.

What was your reaction to her after that week of silence?

>>36568438

So? As long as you feel it, it's there. The reasons will likely have to do with being raised abnormally, having a brother like yours, etc. None of that promotes well-being.

>>36568463

It hurts to look at, but it's not like it makes me think of my Loved One more than I already do.

>>36568521

And you're probably dead wrong about that. Tell me about your parents.

>>36568384
dunno, maybe I just don't hang around people enough.

>>36568683

Maybe some other time, I'm going to finally go to bed. Thank you for trying to help, honestly.

>>36568743

Do you have any siblings?

How were your parents again?

>>36568504

Multilingual country!
School sent me to the KJPD a couple years ago because of my abnormal behavior: Mental absence in class, I was playing and even talking to myself. While not having any friends at all, never had, parents never wondered why. After the first visit, my parents fought to get me out of there and they succeeded. Now my parents just want me to have a happy life, not messed up with mental illness. I couldn't care less.
I have gotten very self-observant so when I developed this skill, I was shocked to see the way I was behaving. I engage in repetitive behavior all the time. I only have my interests and nothing else in my mind (which is philosophy btw). I feel no emotions for 99% of the time and the 1% when I do feel emotions, I seem to completely lose control and get overwhelmed by them. I also follow a strict routine in my daily life and get really angry or scared when someone/something interrupts it. Most of the time that doesn't happen though. I am very sensitive to sound and light, getting agitated when a person starts laughing loudly or when something is bright. I am unable to listen to loud music, unable to go to concerts, parties because the sound intensity is so high, it hurts me.
Well, because most of these cases don't happen in my daily life I can get along quite well, still remaining curious about what makes me so different from most people. Maybe I'm not that different after all and that would be the worst case.

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>>36568634
Ill paraphrase, greentext is her
Hey
>hey
Busy?
>whatsup?
Where've you been
>huh?
Where Have You Been?
>here at school, why?
I thought you were starring in taken 3
>huh?
Because You've Been Gone ALL WEEK
>I've been busy
Busy?
Too fucking busy to let me know you're alive? Is a fucking three second text too much work for you?
>yes I've been busy

And at that point threw my fone, took a hatchet into the woods and spent what I later found out was 45 minutes destroying about 4 fallen trees. Pic related, hatchet. My grandfather made it.

>>36568814
2 older brothers
dunno, normal parents

>>36568614
I don't want to possess people, and I do want to be loved. My girlfriend does love me, she just jokes about cheating on me. As a result of this, I jam my finger toward her asshole. Finally, both a lover and a slave.

I think cheating is a problem between the couple. The cheater has some problem that made them cheat, or something else is possible.

I do care for my girlfriend. I already said that I don't want to leave her, because I want to protect her. I don't want to hurt her dramatically. I try not to hurt her anymore, but what am I supposed to do if she jokes about cheating on me? Let her do it? Fuck that. I want to be with her sometimes.

>went to doctor for physical
>weighed in at 391
>knows i need to diet but the motivation is never there
ok

>>36568668
So, I'm depressed because of my childhood? If I really am super fucked up, then I'm going to see a psychologist.

>>36568841
>Maybe I'm not that different after all and that would be the worst case.

Don't worry, you are different.

I studied philosophy at university level, but quit because I figured I'd prefer reading it on my own.

Your case is highly interesting. I recognise a lot of things there, but not all part of the same condition.

>when I do feel emotions, I seem to completely lose control and get overwhelmed by them.

Give me an example of that.

Reminder to seek real psychological advice from a doctor instead of feeding the ego of nick and the other people who think they can help

>>36568845

Yeah, "I've been busy" is massive bullshit and a major lack of consideration for you.

You need to train at caring for women who actually are worth it. This one wasn't.

Nice hatchet. How do you make one?

>>36568911
nick is the first one to tell people to go to a therapist you fucker.

>>36568853
>dunno, normal parents

Describe your normal parents.

>>36568878
>I don't want to possess people

Then don't threaten to murder them if they consider cheating on you. Threaten that you wouldn't accept it and would leave, instead.

>As a result of this, I jam my finger toward her asshole.

This shows that you consider penetration a sign of possession, I suppose.

>but what am I supposed to do if she jokes about cheating on me?

It depends on the exact joke. If she's a good person, and sees that your reaction is negative, she'll learn not to do it again.

> I want to be with her sometimes.

Aren't you?

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>>36568948
He put an axe head on a hatchet stick. Exhausting to use but damn does it do work. Gotta try and fire this up, wish me luck. If it works I'll be back in ~2 hours.

>>36568886

You weigh 391 pounds? You need to cut those calories down by quite a bunch. What do you usually consume?

>>36568990
>Describe your normal parents.
I don't know what to say, could you ask me questions? it's easier for me.

>>36568990
Yeah, but my opinions change all the time. Sometimes I care, sometimes I don't.

>>36568909

Your childhood is no stranger to it, surely. You are super fucked up, yes. Find a good therapist.

>>36568911

Many people who come to me already have a therapist, a psychiatrist, a doctor, etc. Just because they're paid for it doesn't mean they're always very good. You know that if you have any experience in the field, which I guess you don't.

Also, riddle me this: if you think one needs to be a professional to have a valid opinion, how come you think your opinion on any of this is valid?

Anyway, I'm feeding the troll for the sake of others.

>>36568993

Good luk with that!

>>36569001
Too much garbage food, really. I understand calorie counting and all, it's just that the discipline isn't there. That's also why i'm trying to get a therapist as well. With my (very possible) depression, I will not be able to get ANYTHING done. Now that I think about it, I haven't been skinny a day in my life.

>>36569021

How did they punish you?

>>36569026

Chaotic mind, are you?

>>36569037
Do you think a therapist could help me?

>>36569063
Am I what? Please explain.

>>36569059

Describe the food you eat in more details. And what you drink, as well.

>>36569065

Yes, a good one. Describe your condition the first time around, see how they react.

>>36569085

Is your mind chaotic? (I was pulling a Yoda.)

>>36569063
I'm not sure they ever did,
like I think I got slapped two times only and then mostly nothing.

>>36569086
Snacks such as cheez its if they're in the house, second helpings of any food my mom cooks, take out or fast food on occasion, etc. I mainly drink water surprisingly enough. Lots of it.

>>36569102

Were you an extremely well-behaved child?

What was your bedtime?

Did you eat meals together with your family?

How often did you get washed?

>>36569100
My opinions always change. I have conflicting ideas. Nothing's consistent.

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>>36566894

I posted my fears about being bpd in the last thread, but it was shortly before the thread died. An fucking hero, thanks for your replies, and i feel your pain regarding the communication with your ex. Exactly that type of short replies and ignoring is what triggered my current downward spiral.

Current update on my mental health:

>i am lying to everybody that i am seeing a therapist
>spend days sitting alone and browsing 4chan
>not eating, i think i weigh less than 100lbs now
>tried to stop drinking, fell of the wagon yesterday, and i don't even feel bad about it, because I felt like shit when sober too

>>36569125
>any food my mom cooks

What does she cook?

How many calories do you consume on average?

>>36569126
fuck I'm having a hard time remembering
they told me I was really stubborn and that things had to be always like I wanted

can't remember at all

yes iirc

no fucking idea, but I hated taking showers

>>36569199

Have you ever seen a therapist?

Would you see one?

>>36569241
>they told me I was really stubborn and that things had to be always like I wanted

Which can easily mean they were very demanding and that things always had to be exactly like they wanted.

My parents called it, "the spirit of contradiction." Whenever I disagreed or voiced any opinion, it was the spirit of contradiction, as if anything I said or did was done to spite them and had no value beyond being about them, as always.

My main issue is that ever since going through basic and ait I've realized there is something wrong with me, I feel like I'm out of place, switching moods monthly and feeling guilty. I know I need to go to a doctor but I don't know how the motor will treat it if I get diagnosed with something serious

>>36569230
She usually cooks a mixture of grain, vegetation, and protein(such as meat). I have no idea what my calorie intake is. I never bothered counting.

>>36569292
>I don't know how the motor will treat it if I get diagnosed with something serious

What?

>>36569161
I forgot to put my name back on. Once a thread right?

>>36569311
>I never bothered counting.

And that's both the problem and the solution. Once you start counting your calories and become calories aware, it'll be easy as fuck to lose weight.

Take a notepad, or anything, and write down every calorie your eat/drink. Do that every day. At first, I'm not even asking you to try to diet, just write down everything you eat.

Having to do that will generally already make you feel like eating less, but I'm not asking you to. Just become calorie conscious, know what you eat. It'll make a huge difference.

You can eat enormous quantities of food with low cals, and very little with high calories.

So, from tomorrow onwards, you keep count of your calories. No discipline required, you just write the stuff down for each day.

OK?

>>36569248

i have been seeing a mandatory therapist a few times in my life, it never brought me anything. one of them was a new-ageish "just think positive and universe will reward you" cat lady, the other dude just sad and listened to me during the mandatory therapy session and left without saying anything.

i have been trying to get a therapist, but my healthcare plan makes it nearly impossible. and like i mentioned in the previous thread, i believe i am seriously fucked in the head, but they mostly just write me off as depressed

>>36569268
nope I was a fucking piece of shit,
like when I was so young and still needed help to clean myself after taking a shit
I wanted my mother to help me, always.
or like once when eating a slice of pizza
I wanted the toppings to stay in the same place when I moved it from the plate to my mouth.
what a fucking idiot

Time for working out. I'll check on the thread between sets, but may be slower at times.

>>36569394

You need more serious people. Get one that's part of a team led by a psychiatrist.

Meanwhile, stick around. I may not be a professional, but I can help getting serious clues about what you may have, which is very useful for your next therapist (if only to see if they are qualified to help you at all).

>>36569415

like i said, i've been trying to for years, long before i had a full nervous breakdown, it just seems impossible at this point, and the fact that my maslow's pyramid looks like a goddamn tetris piece is not helping

>>36568910
Chani mache!

>Give me an example of that.

When I was playing as a kid, I was literally screaming and people thought I was hurt or that something happened but I didn't notice at all because I was so overwhelmed by excitement, that I completely got lost in it.

Another example is when I don't understand something and someone tries to explain and I don't get it, I will start crying and not be able to talk, think or do whatever I have to do because the feeling of sadness is so overwhelming and I get absorbed in it. Lose track of everything else. Of course at the time, I don't notice but in hindsight, that's what happened.

>>36566894
My life's a fucking mess. I have always repressed everything since I was a child, every feeling, every facet of my being, it's all a farce. I'm hiding so far behind a mask I haven't seen myself in years. The pent up feelings of despair and rage are not allowed to come out, I'm not allowed to come out. I don't get to feel. Inhuman scum like me can just burn in hell. I can never ask for help. I know deep down the kind of help I need cannot be found. A parasite like me isn't allowed to spread my filth. They're all just as filthy, but my filth shows on the outside, so I'm not allowed to live. I'm rotten physically and mentally. I can't show myself to other human beings. The panic, the fear, the restless wrongness... I can't even make eye contact with my own parents. I can't laugh in front of others. I can't make facial expressions. I can't touch other people. I am not comfortable with them touching me or seeing me. I panic when people see me doing anything. If I'm watching a show, listening to a song or reading a book, or even brushing my teeth if somebody sees me doing anything I feel like I murdered someone and they're catching me burying the body. I was mute as a child. I can't converse. I fake it when I need something from somebody, then I'm gone. All of my replies are conversation enders. I am alone, but I'm not lonely. I cannot function on my own,

cont.

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>>36566894
I have high ego and I know it. When I am belittled or fail at something, I would say anything to keep my pride up, like "I wasn't even trying hard on that test". I would shove anything at my friends' ass like how good looking I am, even if I know I'm somewhere average to slightly above average. I would intentionally go late for a class, go in, do any exercises our professor would give without effort and might result in me getting either be it highest in class or be at the average.

The thing is that I know the exact reason why I'm like this and that its bad for me(sometimes good, my ego keeps me competitive in my college), but something inside me is telling me not to change. Is there something wrong or is it normal.

Hey everyone.

How do you deal with irrational hate? Well, not really irrational according to my opinion. I'm angry that I am short and ugly and that I have a more difficult life because of these things. Why is it going to be more difficult? Because normies will treat me poorly for my inferiority. I can't change my looks or height, but normies could change their behavior. Yet they don't. So I'm angry.

Sure, it's a viewpoint that is considered immature, but what's actually wrong with it?

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>Spend good 5 minutes making a nice organized post
>Nick: well its time for me to sleep, fuck you latefags.

Every single time.

>>36569739

doesn't sound like a high ego, i do a lot of that stuff you described, but i am insecure as fuck and hate myself. to me it sounds more that you avoid confronting your shortcomings at any cost, but maybe i am projecting idk

So at this point, do you even know what's wrong with me anymore?

>>36569670
I cannot help myself, but reaching out seems even worse because I have to fake it to get what I need. I never feel real. The rage feels real. I am very quiet and try to make no trouble for others. Those I deal with are not aware of social etiquette and common sense and are walking projections of white trash. Removing the mask for people like this is like slamming a revolving door and getting surprised when it swings back around and knocks your ass out. Reality becomes a blur and it's like staring into the sun when I am faking it. I go blind. I go deaf. Time slows down. My heart beats faster and faster. I hate myself so much because that's the only way I can morally justify my hatred towards them. The morals they made. They carved the path. They brought me here. They gave birth to unhappiness and pain. They were just having a quick fuck and cummed me out without a second thought, like it was nothing. The same way they do everything, like it's fucking nothing. Empty. I want true freedom, but they conditioned me into helplessness. I'm a prisoner. I have to dance to their tune just to scrape by as a bottom feeder. I don't want to walk this tightrope anymore. Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow. I don't want to think about tomorrow anymore. My brain is rotted. I'm buried alive in my own brain above the ground. The rope is gonna snap. Nothing brings me pleasure. Intrusive thoughts keep getting worse. I have to catch the bus, but it's light years away. If I start running now I might as well be running through a thunderstorm of feces with my mouth wide open. Fuck it.

>>36569397
>nope I was a fucking piece of shit,

No child is a piece of shit.

>like when I was so young and still needed help to clean myself after taking a shit

At what age? It's your mother's job to teach you, and if you were of age, it's her job not to yield to your demands. Whatever way you spin it, it's her problem, her fault.

>what a fucking idiot

This may be more OCD than "being a fucking idiot", but you may not realise that. Either way, if you want the toppings not to move, that's your problem and I don't see how that could have been a problem to her.

>>36569556
>Chani mache!

I'm probably supposed to understand that, but I don't. I decided not to learn German at school, so I didn't... Bad choice but you know...

You seem to have crises of sorts, that's pretty intense.

Were you ever diagnosed with anything?

I am a attractive, autistic dude with a small penis, no friends, a lonely family full of rich and poor social underachievers and also I have the great urge to work for the advance of the entire humanity. Also I sometimes get the urge to kill myself and to fuck with people.

I imagine myself having sex with holy angels and St. Mary and stuff, while rubbing my dick on a fucking bedsheet. I am lonely, I hate my fucking life, get extremely angry like 500 times a month without showing it and I won't stop procrastinating with anything.

I am an over 6' tall man with a ridiculous look like I'd be tripping, nobody takes me seriously, everybody except my closest ones think I am an idiot, despite being highly intelligent in every single field except those that I wouldn't give a shit about, and they don't care about me, despite being frozen by depression, induced by some stupid fucktards who are just too jealous to not ruin random people's lives.

>>36566894
I'm back! Onrey thing started in two minutes, gotta be a speed record

Hello. How is everyone?

I found a another silly test about your purity, sorry if it's been posted before.

Ricepuritytest.com

I got 74

I got

>>36569670

Damn, James. You have very low self-esteem, and I doubt you gave that to yourself. Your case is very serious. I'm glad you expressed yourself, which you CAN do and do very well, at that.

You're not alone anymore

What makes you think you're such a bad person? If you had to mention one reason.

>>36570096
I'm fine, how are you?

>>36569739
>The thing is that I know the exact reason why I'm like this

Pray tell.

>>36569752
>but what's actually wrong with it?

It's not really true and it holds you back for nothing.

I remember the "short" thing, but you're above 170cm easily, aren't you? You aren't even short, and most likely not ugly either.

>>36570111
Decent, just trying to get through the week of work

>>36569792

I have to leave at some point. I'm just working out for now, I'm not gone.

>>36569876

You're right, that's actually a fake high ego that covers for an actually low one, a very insecure ego that needs extra protection to hide itself.

>>36569910

Nope. Mania with atrophied emotions? Definitely not just a psychopath.

>>36570012
Don't worry, I just assumed you were able to speak swiss-german but I understand not everyone in switzerland speaks it.

I have a crises? I had an existential one a couple of months ago. I really don't think I have a crises. I feel normal, as always, nothing intense. Just the daily struggles I've dealt with for my entire life. In fact, I don't understand why people have negative thoughts, because positive/negative is subjective and it doesn't matter because of that. You see, I am a very, very logical thinking person 99% of the time.

I've never been diagnosed because my parents annulated all appointments I had with the KJPD. Since then, I think, I've been able to integrate into society to the point of nobody noticing anything weird. At least as long as I shut my mouth.

>>36570130
>It's not really true and it holds you back for nothing.
Is it not? So do people not judge others negatively for things out of their control that are negative? Do attractive people not earn more or average, are they not more successful in romantic relationships?

>I remember the "short" thing, but you're above 170cm easily, aren't you?
Yes. I'm 178. We've already been through this and I think it's just a minor point, but 1.78m is not tall, so it's short. That's how women think. Or maybe that's how I think...

>>36569966
>I have to fake it to get what I need.

Not here. You're doing great by the way. I have no doubt you could do the same with a therapist eventually; it may take some practice here but you'll be fine.

Know that there is more hope than you feel at the moment.

From what I can read from you, I can tell you're resilient and have resources. Guided correctly, I see every reason to think you'll do better.

I can see some symptoms in your description, but I want you to write me a list of symptoms, a very succinct list of them, as many articles as you want, but short description of your symptoms.

>>36570042

What would you say is your biggest problem?

>>36570069

The weed whacker!

>>36570096

Hello, Ethan!

>>36570165
>because positive/negative is subjective and it doesn't matter because of that. You see, I am a very, very logical thinking person 99% of the time.

Yes, but that wasn't logical. Subjective thoughts and emotions, in my case, can make the difference between being able to go to work, or not, so it matters a whole lot. What you feel is no less a fact than a mountain.

You have crises (plural) when it comes to emotions, where you freak out. That's absolutely extreme.

Tell me about your parents.

>>36570257
Hi Nick, how was your day? Are you feeling better?

>>36570134
Yeah, me too. I'm glad to hear that nothing's going wrong.

>>36570201
>So do people not judge others negatively for things out of their control that are negative?

That's what they judge the least, since it's not your fault. If they catch themselves judging you for that sort of thing, they judge themselves right afterwards, because you're not responsible.

>Do attractive people not earn more or average, are they not more successful in romantic relationships?

Not necessarily, no. I know some really hot people who don't make much money, and ugly ones who make loads. Romantic relationships depend on much more than good looks.

>Yes. I'm 178.

You're my size, fucker, and I'm not short by any means. Most women aren't 178cm high anyway.

It's how you think.

>>36570257
Being out there with nothing but time to think made me remember my grandpa. He passed a few years back, I think it was 2013. I may almost have this 4 year degree and he dodn't finish 7th grade, but I'll never be as smart and clever as that man was. He made a front bucket for a riding lawnmower. With nothing but scraps and spare junk he had laying around. And even at 74 years old he was always working 6 days a week, even though he'd retired from the mines.

>>36570304

Today was better. I didn't sleep much last night, but I got social today, and spoke to various workmates on top of teaching; plus I had my extra long therapy session today.

My therapist is actually pushing me to study psychology to become a therapist myself. She says I'm exactly the type of person to do it.

>>36570367

I'm sure your grandpa would be proud of you. You're a hero after all.

>>36568413

lol who taught you this shit. Who thinks that molesting one's GF's asscrack would prevent her cheating.

Your GF is either an asshole or a perverted retard, in both cases a psychologically burdened time bomb. Just leave her man.

>>36570383
Sounds good, I'm glad to hear it. You just reminded me that I have a session tomorrow as well. I'm not really sure what I'm going to talk about

In the past month my anxiety has gotten exponentially worse, I used to just have a hard time talking to people and somewhat normal stuff like that.

Now whenever I get anxious about something my hands and legs start shaking uncontrollably and I basically start to hyperventilate. I've become more paranoid and depressed and it's really starting to become impossible to deal with.

>>36570342
>That's what they judge the least, since it's not your fault.
Really? Women often turn men down for being too short, ugly, whatever. They don't feel bad about it, they see justice in it.

>You're my size, fucker, and I'm not short by any means. Most women aren't 178cm high anyway.
First, you come from switzerland where average height is about 5'9", but since you live close to French/Italian borders (I assume since you don't speak german) you're likely even more over average. Where I live, the average height is 5'11".

Secondly, it doesn't matter how tall women are, tallness is considered a virtue, it changes how people see you, it is a massive advantage.

>>36570418

You don't know Eh. A normal woman would never be with him, I hope.

>>36570438

Cooking at 11 and how you don't realise it's abuse. Being locked for hours alone as a toddler.

You'll get questions anyway.

>>36570442

Do you see a cause for it?

Does anything trigger?

At what time does it happen?

>>36569988
I don't remember the age,
also I didn't make it clear I think, I meant that if my father came to help me I would send him back to call mom.

>I don't see how that could have been a problem to her.

It wasn't, but I complained a lot, and for me it was her problem.
but as I said, little me was an idiot.

>>36570474
>Women often turn men down for being too short, ugly, whatever. They don't feel bad about it, they see justice in it.

Judging isn't turning down. Women, like men, have their preferences, just like you have. You like to hate on women but I could introduce you to 50 women you'd all turn down because they don't fit what you want in a woman, physically only, and this would be things they didn't have any control over, either.

Women generally like a man who's taller than them, but that's about all.

>>36570474
>Where I live, the average height is 5'11".

2 inches make no difference. Do you really uses inches in your country? Besides, most of my coworkers are German and French, so your national average thing doesn't matter much.

>Secondly, it doesn't matter how tall women are, tallness is considered a virtue, it changes how people see you, it is a massive advantage.

Not really. Lots of tall people don't like being tall. If you were tall, you'd complain about how being tall is a problem. Garanteed.

>>36570544
>I would send him back to call mom.

And he let you do that?

>>36570249

I guess being a social retard while having an urge to fuck attractive chicks is a big problem.

I am beginning to hate humanity and nothing has stopped me so far. I love everybody on a personal level, but I hate the chaos and suffering caused by predatory numbskulls.
I am also being completely unable to act against the power structures in my social environment, which hold me down.

>>36570160
That sucks, but are you sure that I'm a psychopath?

>>36570489
Oh yeah I forgot we were talking about that. Now that you've reminded me though, I forgot the to tell you yesterday (or maybe I did, I was a bit out of it yesterday) that I was talking to my mum and she told me that she was cooking by herself at 13, which is probably why she thought it was normal for me.

>>36570574
the few times I remember yes,
but I can't be sure if other times he didn't

i went outside to buy some sips and i saw a bunch of young mothers taking their kids out on a stroll on my way to the store

now i am back inside, stewing in my own filth, wishing i was dead. i am constantly confronted with a life i can never have

>>36570576
>I guess being a social retard

Describe that.

>>36570587
>but are you sure that I'm a psychopath?

No.

>>36570594
>she told me that she was cooking by herself at 13, which is probably why she thought it was normal for me.

Yep, this stuff gets passed down generations usually. Still, between 11 and 13, there's a huge difference in a kid. I know because I work with kids ranging from 9 to adulthood, and they grow fast during those ages. Also, as a girl, your mother at 13 was likely twice your heigh at 11.

>>36570499
Mostly when social situations don't go well, I've started doing stuff with a few friends online recently and I really love being with them.

But if for whatever reason they say that they can't do something that night/something doesn't go well. I get paranoid about if they are actually my friends and go through all that.

It mostly hits me at like 3-4 in the morning. Also my sleep schedule has been really fucked recently once I start to calm down a bit I go to sleep and then have to wake up at 6AM. I usually get home at around 3 and sleep until 7.

>>36570612

You can have a wife and a child.

>>36570489
Non, being a psychopath, I can manipulate women into loving me.

>>36570838

i'm a girl, and i am infertile

>>36570829

http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv

Do this, and don't worry about results, this test is touchy.

>>36570474

I guess a good strategy to compensate the struggles of an ugly midget-existence could be working on every single aspect that may make you look worthy. We need everyone, this is not "Attractive Lives Matter", really. Everyone.

>>36570563
>Women, like men, have their preferences
Tall and attractive men are often preffered.

>You like to hate on women but I could introduce you to 50 women you'd all turn down because they don't fit what you want in a woman, physically only, and this would be things they didn't have any control over, either.
Yes. Exactly. But the point is, since they got lucky, they get more. I don't. There is really no way to play this down. They got gifted, they got lucky. I did not.

>Do you really uses inches in your country?
Nah. I use feet/inches on 4chan.

>Besides, most of my coworkers are German and French, so your national average thing doesn't matter much.
I fail to see how this matters.

>Not really. Lots of tall people don't like being tall. If you were tall, you'd complain about how being tall is a problem. Guaranteed.
I know people like that. But they are retarded. Being tall has more benefits than it has downsides.

>>36570843
>I can manipulate women into loving me.

That's not love. Most likely, you're using her issues to get her to be with you, but that's feeding off refuse.

I'm sure it flatters your ego to think you're smart enough for that, but really, it's like being mashed potatoes before the starved. Mashed potatoes isn't special, but if you're hungry, you'll eat it, even if it sticks a finger up your anus every once in a while.

>>36570634
What about me changed your mind?

>>36570848

You can adopt. It's not the same, I know. I am sorry.

I may never have children either, I empathise.Though I know it's not the same either.

>>36570883
Nick, it was a joke. I'm sorry if it didn't come across as one.

>>36570864
>I guess a good strategy to compensate the struggles of an ugly midget-existence could be working on every single aspect that may make you look worthy.
No. It's very simply retarded to do this.

Let's say we have two people. One is gifted, let's call this the person A. The other one is inferior, let's call this the person B.

Person A has more worth than person B. If person B starts working hard, he might never reach person A because of the discrepancy in worth.

You're thinking about it the wrong way. Why should I accept this injustice that normies enforce? There is no good reason.

>>36570864
>an ugly midget-existence

He's 178cm tall. He is no midget.

Also, Dan, the average height in your country is 180 cm, so stop whining about being 2 cm shorter than the goddam average; shoes will make up for that difference easily, and it's not like everyone is 180 cm.

File: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.png (32KB, 473x361px) Image search: [Google]

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>>36570860
not looking too good here lmao

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>>36570406
I really wish I could have talked with him about it. He drove a tank. I'm sure he saw some shit over in Europe when he was deployed. His pocketknife, my grandma gave me, can tell you more about the type of person he was than I can.

>>36570922
>shoes will make up for that difference easily
That is the goddamn point. Why should I wear shoes to accomodate normies who decided that short men are unattractive? I did NOT choose to be short. It's THEIR fault. Not mine.

>>36570825
>Also, as a girl, your mother at 13 was likely twice your heigh at 11.

Wow is that true? I never realised how quickly children grew. That's probably because I haven't done much growing myself though. (I'm only 165cm)

She also told me about how she moved out alone when she was 16, something I never would have done at that age

>>36570882
>Tall and attractive men are often preffered.

Athletic women are often preferred. I don't see your point. Bodies aren't all women want in a partner, unless you're convinced women are vapid whores and nothing more, in which case you need to rethink your vision of women.

> They got gifted, they got lucky. I did not.

Gifted with what?

>Nah. I use feet/inches on 4chan.

Indulge me, use meters.

>I fail to see how this matters.

It shows how my national average doesn't mean much.

>Being tall has more benefits than it has downsides.

You think you know, you don't. It's a lot of problems, actually.

>>36570901

if i had a loving partner, i'd adopt. it's more about this feeling of being unconditionally loved and not alone, i yearn for it every second of the day, and it's driving me insane

>>36570890

Mania, alleged ability to switch on empathy, the fact that you bother to think about your case at all, the fact that you're considering therapy, etc.

>>36570907

I wondered, that's why I told you I took it literally.

>>36570930

Good, that means there's a lot to work with here.

https://psychcentral.com/quizzes/borderline.htm

>>36570294

I wouldn't say I freak out, but I get overwhelmed.
My parents? Absent when it comes to my emotional life. They only want me to function in society. They give me a lot of freedom though. If i want to drop out of school, I totally could without any interference of my parents. They simply don't care in my opinion.
My mother also has problems. She's never visited a psychologist either but I can see how stressed out she is, without even leaving the house. She probably has OCD, although I'm not qualified to say that.

>>36570944

My grandfather had a similar pocket knife and was an outdoors man too. Had a vineyard in Ticino and kept bees on top of making furniture.

>>36570971
scored a 45

>>36570949

You shouldn't, nobody said anything about it. Nobody said short men are unattractive. Loads of short women won't mind.

It's not their fault you're perfectly fine in height. You're 178, for fuck's sake, that's my exact height. I can guarantee your height isn't an issue.

>>36570954
>she moved out alone when she was 16,

Is that even legal?

Did you sleep with the light on?

>>36570958
Why only if you had a loving partner?

>>36570962
I think about it because I'm bored. I'm not going to therapy for empathy problems. I still think that I'm not one though.

>>36570958
>it's more about this feeling of being unconditionally loved and not alone

I wonder how many women crave this, and if it's a healthy reason to have children.

Do you have a cat?

>>36570955
>Athletic women are often preferred. I don't see your point.
You really don't? Think about it. It's very simple to figure out.

>Gifted with what?
Being born an attractive woman. Due to this having a better life, always having more worth by default. I see many women in my building who barely do anything, they at the fucking reception looking pretty and spending 90% of their time on their phones. Would an ugly male get paid the same money to do the same thing? Would he have the same options? HE WOULD FUCKING NOT.

>Indulge me, use meters
Might as well. I learned to use feet/inches naturally after all the years spent on 4chan, it's my default "setting", it's not an attack on you.

>It shows how my national average doesn't mean much.
How exactly?

>You think you know, you don't. It's a lot of problems, actually.
No. You are simply wrong. Having problems with your knees and back, having trouble finding shoes and being remembered by people is nothing compared to always being considered the leader, having halo effect work in your favor and earning more statistically. It's a trade-off I would take ANY FUCKING DAY. And the men who are tall will agree with me. The ones who don't are simply wrong.

>>36570979
>Absent when it comes to my emotional life.

This alone may be the cause of your abnormal brain development as a baby and child. Humans need a lot more than food and shelter to grow up. You may never have been given any of the real stuff that makes life worth living.

>>36570634

I was bullied in school, like in every year and on every school. I further was bullied at an adolescence psychiatry, where I was bluntly honest to some girls who wanted to fuck with my head, and that got me in trouble. The only people who understood me there were themselves allegedly suffering from mild autism and torture experiences, bipolarity or schizophrenia. And there were many people with many different problems.

Some specialists told me that I could be suffering from mild Asperger, but never pointed out why, they just said that it was my fault that people bullied me and they never explained themselves to anybody. These were the kind of medicine people who got a steady boner for rapid-diagnostics and easy pharma money, so nobody from their team believed them actually, but nobody helped me either.

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>>36570987
>making furniture
Mine did the same. Also other things, wood and metal simply bent to his will. Like this cup. Still need to get it safely sealed so I can drink from it.

>>36570999

At what?

>>36571020
>I think about it because I'm bored.

Sounds like those teenage girls who take photos of their tits and post them everywhere "because I'm bored."

Really? Can't you play a video game if you're that bored? Explain.

>>36571009
>Nobody said short men are unattractive. Loads of short women won't mind.
Pick two men who are exactly the same, except one is 5'6" and the other is 6'3". Actually, this could be easily done as a tinder experiment.

>I can guarantee your height isn't an issue.
You are simply wrong. Move away from anecdotes and examples. You should see it in a broad view.

>>36570978
>>36570999
replied to the wrong post sorry about that

>>36571017
Sorry, I worded that oddly. I meant when she was a child, before I was born, she moved out of her parents house

>>36571019

because i'd be a terrible single mother, and if i adopt, the environment will see me as a pathetic spinster trying to cope with loneliness. the child will also grow up resenting me.

and my primary goal in life is to find somebody who will love me and care about me. without a partner, i feel like i deserve to die.

>>36570914

Hard work actually beats talent. Look at me. I have talent and I got nothing.

>>36571034
>You really don't? Think about it. It's very simple to figure out.

Probably something about "didn't choose", but my point is about esthetic preferences. Stop thinking in terms of justice, this isn't a court of law, you'll never make someone change their preferences based on what's fair.

What kind of breasts do you prefer?

>>36571060
That's a flattering analogy. I can't play a video game now, I'm not at my house. I don't think about this when I'm on free time.

>>36571081
Only in the extreme cases where talent does nothing at all or even deliberately fucks up.

If talent at least shows up in the competition, it will win even with a finger up it's ass.

Chances are, you don't really have talent mate.

>>36570930

Be the next Steve-O. Might be fun. At least consider it.

>>36570294

Now that I'm reflecting on the past...

It's not emotions but all senseations, that overwhelm me.

When I was in kindergarten, I once told the teacher to "fuck off" when she touched my arm and I lost control.

If I'm honest with myself, I think I've changed the way of directing the energy (sensations) that is incoming. Now I tend to shut in, rather than freak out and start hitting people, which also happened during school because of seemingly small sensations, like someone touching me unexpectedly or someone starting to scream loudly near me. As I said, I get agitated by those sensations. Now I just shut in and don' talk to anybody, lose the ability to rationally think but I don't get physical. When someone talks to me in that state (sometimes even on the bus), I will not be able to answer or I will 'break out' of that state and realize how fucking nervous I am and how overwhelming it all is and maybe I would freak out and get physical in that scenario. Don't want to think about that.

Maybe I didn't express myself clearly enough. Tell me when you need additional information.

>>36571116
>Stop thinking in terms of justice, this isn't a court of law, you'll never make someone change their preferences based on what's fair.
And that's why I hate them.

>What kind of breasts do you prefer?
I don't have a preference. The women I have been attracted to were everything from almost flat-chest to milena-velba-tier when it comes to tits.

>>36571120

So-called "talented" people, who get their shit going, have their hobbies, that they spent their time on, strict routines. I hate routines and therefore I hate life.

>>36571178
And still if you did anything at all, you would likely be better than me (if what you said is true about you having talent).

>>36571034
>Being born an attractive woman.

I didn't say attractive, Dan. I said women you'd turn down because you don't find them attractive.

> Due to this having a better life, always having more worth by default.

Only to people who value this over the rest, and those people generally don't give two fucks about these women, and once they get older, they're dumped and are in much worse conditions than you'll ever be.

>I see many women in my building who barely do anything, they at the fucking reception looking pretty and spending 90% of their time on their phones.

Looking pretty is more work than you know, because I doubt you work out or know much about makeup and hair care. Having lived with a woman, I can tell you it's a craft.

>Would an ugly male get paid the same money to do the same thing?

You don't actually know how much they're paid, are you. You probably get paid more. No one ugly gets hired for a reception job.

It's like I'm hearing Dan from last year.

>How exactly?

Because the people I work with aren't Swiss for the vast majority? Does that make sense to you?

>is nothing compared to always being considered the leader, having halo effect work in your favor and earning more statistically.

That's not how it works. Tall people, when they aren't the actual boss, will often be considered dumb. We have insults for tall people in my area, and most have to do with being slow, dumb, etc.

Being tall is as much a gift as a curse. You think otherwise because you don't know what being tall is like.

There's a tall man in this thread who doesn't agree with you, and I can bring you another one from last year's fitness thread.

>The ones who don't are simply wrong.

Convienent, but you don't get to tell them what they know. You get to listen patiently and revise your version of things, because you're wrong.

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I wish I had a hobby

>>36571043

Most children suffer from an abnormal development with fucktard authorities not caring or fucking it up. It is nothing special and it does not necessarily lead to psychological disorders.

>>36571044
>These were the kind of medicine people who got a steady boner for rapid-diagnostics and easy pharma money, so nobody from their team believed them actually, but nobody helped me either.

Not surprised. Professional help isn't always very professional.

>>36571204

What are you doing to your own advance? Are you playing Banjo or some shit? Have you considered that you could've fucked up your routine? Like really, I don't think that you've got no talent.

>>36571060
The borderline personality disorder test you linked me, it didn't have any info other than the score though

>>36571211
>Only to people who value this over the rest, and those people generally don't give two fucks about these women, and once they get older, they're dumped and are in much worse conditions than you'll ever be.
Some of them are. But many of attractive women are very well off when they get older. Honestly I don't see where you're basing this.

>Looking pretty is more work than you know, because I doubt you work out or know much about makeup and hair care. Having lived with a woman, I can tell you it's a craft.
Yeah, except if an ugly woman puts in the same amount of work, she will not look as attractive due to heir shitty starting position.

>You probably get paid more. No one ugly gets hired for a reception job.
Yeah I probably do, I'd be surprised if they were even making average to be honest. But they get their money for doing essentially nothing.

>It's like I'm hearing Dan from last year.
I haven't changed. I tried to suppress myself in the last few threads, but the thoughts are still there. I told you how I only imitate people around me? I imitated you, I acted how I presumed you would want me to. But these things I am talking about now, they're still not answered.

>Because the people I work with aren't Swiss for the vast majority? Does that make sense to you?
Doesn't.

>Tall people, when they aren't the actual boss, will often be considered dumb. We have insults for tall people in my area, and most have to do with being slow, dumb, etc.
So will ugly people. And don't even get me started on the amount of insults for short men. Tall men are better off. Period.

>Convienent, but you don't get to tell them what they know.
I get to tell them, that they are wrong. Statistics about being considered more attractive and earning more DO NOT LIE.

>>36571410
>What are you doing to your own advance?
What does it matter? I saw men get more than me for less work due to their lucky starting position. There is no routine. THERE IS LUCK.

>>36571049

It's the holy grail!

>>36571063
>Pick two men who are exactly the same, except one is 5'6" and the other is 6'3". Actually, this could be easily done as a tinder experiment.

>go to a website that prioritises looks for one night stands over anything else
>choose a short guy and a tall one

Still, depending on how you look, the short guy might still get picked, but whoever uses Tinder for serious relationships is looking for trouble.

You keep using vague stats and studies and experiments to justify your personal conditions. That's a cop-out. You just want reasons to stay how you are.

>You are simply wrong. Move away from anecdotes and examples. You should see it in a broad view.

Don't give me the old "ANECDOTAL FALLACY", because it's not. You're one person, any example involving one person is enough. If 1% of women only liked guys who are 178cm, you'd still have a chance and no excuse. You're 178cm for fuck's sake, do you think half the man in your country are single forever?

I know lots of men who are shorter than me, and you, and they're married. Sometimes with women much taller than them. This proves it's possible, which is all you need to stop being a pessimistic person about it.

>>36571067

That's what I understood. You worded that fine.

>>36571080
>without a partner, i feel like i deserve to die.

You and me both, but that's a problem we have. Codependency, look it up. You're not supposed to feel this way, and love isn't supposed to be the one reason to be happy to live, though that's exactly how I feel too.

>>36571457
Oh then did you mean did SHE sleep with the light on then? In that case I have no idea, she didn't tell me anything aside from that. I know it's illegal now but I'm not sure about how it was viewed at the time

>>36571118
>I can't play a video game now, I'm not at my house.

Who said anything about now? Did you think therapy was for right now too? Like you were gonna pop some therapist right off your pants and tada, they'd talk you into doing better, for shits and giggles so you don't get bored?

>>36571120
>If talent at least shows up in the competition, it will win even with a finger up it's ass.

Real world, you need to meet it.

>>36571496
I now ship Charlie and Nick

>>36571449
>Still, depending on how you look, the short guy might still get picked
Might? MIGHT? Why the fuck? Did he choose to be short? Is the chance going to be roughly 50:50?

>You keep using vague stats and studies and experiments to justify your personal conditions. That's a cop-out. You just want reasons to stay how you are.
Are they not true? Are tall men not considered attractive? What are you getting at?

>If 1% of women only liked guys who are 178cm, you'd still have a chance and no excuse
Why should my chance be lower because of height that I can not change? That is what I am getting at.

>>36571521
Why are you assuming I haven't? Because I don't agree with you?

>>36571155

It sounds like CPTSD, complex post traumatic stress disorder. If you can't stand getting touched, that would suggest you've been touched when you didn't want to. Is that the case?

Same with shouting and strong lights, blinking, etc.

What you feel may be regular PTSD as well: you get triggered by things that remind you of previous states, and send you right back to it.

>>36571496

really? i thought that was what makes me borderline. i will look into codependency, thanks!

>>36571529

this made me smile for the first time in a week heh

>>36571504
>>36571017

Oh were you asking I felt I slept with the light on as a child as a separate question completely? If so, sorry, I confused myself. I did have a nightlight for what my mum told me was longer than the average child. Nowadays I do like some kind of ambient light, especially if it's coming from outside, but I'm absolutely fine with sleeping in the dark, as not to annoy anybody else in the room

>>36571163
>And that's why I hate them.

It never occurs to you that you will fit women's preferences as well. It's all negative all the time with you. If liking 178 cm angry dudes who snap the fuck out when they get mad is a woman's thing, then you're on. You won't hate her for her preferences, even if someone else deserves her more than you do.

>I don't have a preference. The women I have been attracted to were everything from almost flat-chest to milena-velba-tier when it comes to tits.

Describe the ideal partner for you.

>>36571365

I just need intelligent people who are honest enough to give me a comment of how I fucked up and like how I could fix it. But most professionals are taught to be mindless coconuts, being hairy unshaved bastards and having no regards to the worth of lifeforms. They repeat their bullshit to pay their kids' diapers, their debt and their imbecile materialistic lifestyle mistakes.

>>36570103
>What makes you think you're such a bad person? If you had to mention one reason.

One reason? My brain is a mess I can't stick with one.

I get constant intrusive thoughts that never go away. I do not get anything out of any human interaction I've had and it's only a burden to me. I can't tell if they're my true thoughts, but I can't stop thinking of and visualizing myself committing evil acts and taboos. I find myself wishing people would stop talking and I must excuse myself if the rage sneaks in. I've hurt people before when I let it slip. My father is good at dragging rage out of me. The sound of and tone of his voice alone torments me. I have tackled him through the wall and choked him out, threatened to decapitate him, poured a steaming hot bowl of oatmeal on his head, threatened to bludgeon him with a sledgehammer and dropped a dumbbell on his head when he was sleeping. One night out of the blue I got this urge and I told him there was going to be some noise and not to worry, and I walked to my room with the sledgehammer and broke it through my door again and again while screaming. I'm also not racist but racist thoughts keep replaying in my brain. When I converse with people all of their faults come to mind and brew while I converse on auto pilot with no memory of what is being said. It's gotten to the point all of my thoughts are just obsessive and uncontrollable. My brain does the opposite of what I want and tortures me. It floods in and drives me mad. I've done things I regret and they haunt me. I also talk to many different people that live in my brain. The dominant one was an evil god. It used to come out and take control of my body when I experienced psychosis and demand the loss of human life. If I lost control the only way to get around it was to incapacitate myself by overdosing. I wound up in the psych ward with amnesia.

Just some reasons I'm not a good person.

>>36571204
>And still if you did anything at all, you would likely be better than me

Please stop this self-deprecating crap. You are ignorant of your own qualities. You probably believe you suck at masturbating too.

Please realise this is all core beliefs based on bullshit to make sure you don't feel too bad about not trying, or that failing is OK because it's what to expect, etc.

You know that's true!

You have talent and skills, I've seen it in the thread. You are way better than you say.

>>36571559
Certainly not. I've never had any traumatic experience before these problems appeared. In fact, my parents sayd that I've always been like this. My parents also wouldn't do anything bad to me, so don't worry about that. I've always been like that, no trauma involved.

>>36571598
>It never occurs to you that you will fit women's preferences as well.
Not good enough women. Yes, I do want the attractive women that attractive and tall men get. Because I didn't choose to be short and ugly.

>Describe the ideal partner for you.
Why? So that I show some preference and so that you can call me out on it and tell me that I am the same as these women I hate because I also have preferences? Wrong. These women still get more due to their better position. Me not having preferences won't change how they act. Not one damn bit.

>>36571223

Then choose one you like. It's not hard. I do Warhammer 40k modelling. Used to.

>>36571348
>It is nothing special and it does not necessarily lead to psychological disorders.

It does actually. Just that many won't be recognised as such by people who haven't learned about said disorders. Many will be thought of as simple personality traits.

>Director of Silence of the Lambs dies
Goodnight sweet prince, may a flight of angels wing thee to thy rest

>>36571420

It should say somewhere what it means, above or below, or at the beginning of the test.

>>36571163

I guess your ideal of a partner is more about the personality, since you just want to date an attractive female.

>>36571658
>Please realise this is all core beliefs based on bullshit to make sure you don't feel too bad about not trying, or that failing is OK because it's what to expect, etc.
Being born anything but top 1% of male population genetically and socially is a failure.

>You have talent and skills, I've seen it in the thread. You are way better than you say.
I can pretend to be better, but I don't believe in it. Because from all that I have said still stands.

As long as people get born unequal and some have worse results and conditions than the others, I will not rest.

How do I find out whether I have any talent or skill?

I just feel so below average on everything

>>36571678
it is if I don't like anything besides listening to sad songs and browsing /r9k/ with a movie once a week

For compulsive test-takers, let's see what kind of gamer you are:

https://apps.quanticfoundry.com/lab/gamerprofile/

>>36571678

Then like everybody would have a disorder. I think as long as somebody is happy and functioning well as a creep in the machine, everything's fine.

>>36571425
>But many of attractive women are very well off when they get older. Honestly I don't see where you're basing this.

Same source as yours: your magic ass.

>Yeah, except if an ugly woman puts in the same amount of work,

You underestimate the power of makeup and fitness, both of which are work. You are not used to makeup artistry, stop assuming it's all about being lucky. Stop assuming it's about justice, it's not. It's not a court of law.

>Yeah I probably do, I'd be surprised if they were even making average to be honest. But they get their money for doing essentially nothing.

Please think about what you've said here. Is it fair that a short ugly midget gets paid more than these sexy ladies? Uh? If one of them was you, Dannette, she'd say some crap like this that doesn't make any sense.

> I imitated you, I acted how I presumed you would want me to. But these things I am talking about now, they're still not answered.

You did what I do, but it was no imitation. You said and did things I wouldn't have said or done. That wasn't me, that was you. It's in you alone.

Answers will come slowly, when you're ready. You're more ready than before, but we're not there yet, though it's coming.

>I feel it coming.jpg

>Doesn't.

Really? Swiss average, working with non-Swiss people, that means the average is meaningless in my case.

>Tall men are better off. Period.

Your call.

>Statistics about being considered more attractive and earning more DO NOT LIE.

Being attractive doesn't mean a woman will marry you. I find some women attractive and more, but I'd not want a relationship with them for other reasons. Did that ever occur to you? The idea that finding someone attractive doesn't mean more than just that?

>>36571736
Don't need a test to know that I turn on a game twice a week and play 10-20min each session before i get bored

>>36571712

lol just chill and do your thing. As long as your dick measures more than average and you're not looking like a stoned loser, inequality shouldn't even be a thing.

>>36571696
Scored a 45, the test says that 33+ is severe

>>36571803
>You underestimate the power of makeup and fitness, both of which are work. You are not used to makeup artistry, stop assuming it's all about being lucky. Stop assuming it's about justice, it's not. It's not a court of law.

That is actually pretty damn right. Men suffer from many misconceptions regarding the attractiveness of women. The majority of women look like shit actually, they just want to be around a guy who is a Dopamin booster.

>>36571803
>You are not used to makeup artistry, stop assuming it's all about being lucky. Stop assuming it's about justice, it's not. It's not a court of law.
For me it is. When someone decides I will have to work harder because of something arbitrary and things it's okay to do this, it's enough justification for me to hate them.

>You underestimate the power of makeup and fitness, both of which are work.
When attractive women put on makeup, they look better than ugly women who put on makeup. Easy.

>Please think about what you've said here. Is it fair that a short ugly midget gets paid more than these sexy ladies?
They do nothing. What they are doing, anyone could do. What I am doing is what not many people could do. See the difference? No? Once again, things you can change vs things you can not.

>Answers will come slowly, when you're ready. You're more ready than before, but we're not there yet, though it's coming.
Fuck that. I'm not going to spend years ignoring humiliation and injustice. You can say that we're not court how many times you want, but at the end. I'm having a harder time because of shit I can not change. Easy. As. That.

>Really? Swiss average, working with non-Swiss people, that means the average is meaningless in my case.
I guess switzerland is special, since you're country is quite homogenous. Still, there are more swiss people than minorities (hence the name).

>Did that ever occur to you? The idea that finding someone attractive doesn't mean more than just that?
Being considered attractive gives you confidence that helps you EVERYWHERE in life.

>>36571448

Somebody handle Dan!

I'm done working out, off to showering, will come back soon. HOLD ON TO DAN, WE'RE LOSING HIM!

Dan, I'll come back for ya. Just you wait.

>>36571678
>used to
What was that like? Been semi-interested in tabletop, but nothing around me to get started and /tg/ is as unhelpful edition-fagging and shilling product to be entirely useful or reliable.

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>>36571736
I don't play games too often

>>36571803
>Being attractive doesn't mean a woman will marry you. I find some women attractive and more, but I'd not want a relationship with them for other reasons. Did that ever occur to you? The idea that finding someone attractive doesn't mean more than just that?

Marriage is just a bond for couples, who do well together, although not permanently in many cases.

The thing is that it is not about marriage, it is about that thicc ass that needs to be centered and about the emotional needs of that man Dan.

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>>36571736
I used to play video games a lot as a child with the SNES and N64, not so much anymore. My favorite game is Yume Nikki.

>>36571828
>lol just chill and do your thing. As long as your dick measures more than average
You say it like it's so easy to fulfill. But it's not. As it so happens, my dick is shorter than average. And much thinner.

>you're not looking like a stoned loser, inequality shouldn't even be a thing.
People tell me I look like an aggressive neanderthal and they always judge me to be about 10 years older than I actually am.

Not a thing? Oh it fucking is.

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Late to the party today.
We can pick up where we left off if you want to, Facet.

>>36571915
>Being considered attractive gives you confidence that helps you EVERYWHERE in life.

Cannot argue against that. But your own achievements give way more room for confidence than any fuckface could.

>>36571978
By all means. Though, where did we leave off? I just arrived more or less, by the way. I put up a gamer style test if you're a gamer.

>>36572032
>Cannot argue against that. But your own achievements give way more room for confidence than any fuckface could.
Wrong. To have confidence is necessary, but it's not sufficient. Success comes from hard work and good starting position. If you work hard but start out as shit, someone who works hard and starts out as gold will fucking gut you like a squirrel whenever he wants. That negates all the confidence you could ever have. Because you are NEVER GOOD ENOUGH. And you can never be.

>>36571971

Time for the PEGym then. Also: Women prefer caveman-like facial features, just make yourself look healthy and change your expressions. Facial expressions can alter someone's perception of one's intelligence level and likeability significantly.

>>36572032
The two aren't really comparable. Having achievements takes a life of work for most and others can't directly see it, while attractiveness to some is just something they're born with. Add to that their own achievements and they end up a lot more content than the ugly achiever.

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>>36572099
>Because you are NEVER GOOD ENOUGH
To whom? Who are we talking about here?

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>>36567400
These tests are interesting I suppose.

>>36572099

Success is not a straight line coming from pure luck. It is all about the strategic mind and the effort you've put into changing your circumstances.

i do something thats not in the slighest sex releated and these thoughts of everyone around me having sex since its so normal and natural appear in my mind and destroy my mood


why is that and how do i solve this

>>36571915

>Being considered attractive gives you confidence that helps you EVERYWHERE in life.

i just wish this meme would stop. i have suffered a nervous breakdown, and shitposting here is the only thing that keeps me from hanging myself in my back yard. i used to be a agency-signed model for 6 years, and the guy i am considering killing myself over is a 5'6" balding weirdo with a beer gut. and most of the girls from my agency (the ones i am still in touch with) are similarly miserable

people react to how you make them feel. if you think you will only ever be happy with a woman who satisfies your arbitrary visual standards, you have a problem with women in general.

>>36572165
What if you don't have the strategic mind or the capacity to put in the effort to change your circumstances?

>>36572099
Fon't compare yourself to everyone else. That isn't doing you any good. Focus on yourself Dan. Improve yourself. If you wake up a better Dan than you were yesterday its a good day.

>>36572108
This is really useless to talk about. My facial structure is just shit. Calling myself a neanderthal is the best I can describe it, but I am far from the attractive jaded caveman-like look. This is not worth talking about to be honest as you don't know shit about me and I will post my picture here.

But let me tell you, I once made a tinder account, simply to gauge my looks. I swiped rights on several hundred women. I got three matches.

One was a 50 year old very fat woman.
One was a somewhat attractive 30 year old gold-digger who asked me what kind of car do I have and if I have money to travel within first 5 messages.
The last one was a bot.

These results told me enough.

>>36572127
To everyone. For example, let's say I asked you who the best chess-player was. You could probably remember a name or two even if you don't play chess. Who could you remember? The very best.

Unless you are the best, you do not exist. And if you get born with sub-par starting point. You are not going to become the best.

>>36572165
And unless you have a good starting position this effort will be wasted by normies who will give advantage to gifted people.

>>36572109

You are not born attractive. You are born as a toddler, having no achievements or developed traits. Even with 18 or 25 your face could still change for the better. Even your bone structure changes with its use.

>>36571515
No, of course not. I'm just saying, that these are the most entertaining threads. That's why I come here.

>>36571969
Really should play that. Our friend nobody is a big fan. However I'm too much a scrub to play anything that doesn't have a console port.

>>36571963
And yet you're driven to excel. Interesting.

>>36572098
I'm not a gamer anymore, simply because I can't afford the habit (I'm talking hardware).
I think the last post you made was an answer to my inner monologue question and also to the one about intensity of experience. With the differing standards of treatment you would dole out to other who don't share your lust for ever increasing stimulation, you're doing a good job appreciating the blander tastes of your fellow species members.
What I still don't have a firm grip on is why you would even want to deliver an experience to them that they'd enjoy. Is it an act of cognitive empathy? A colder, rational prescription? Why do you want to be moral?

>>36572185
And still you experienced more happiness and joy in these six years than a dozen of under average people will experience in their whole lives.

Actually who even gives a shit about your opinion? You're miserable? DON'T MAKE ME FUCKING LAUGH. Whenever I see attractive women talking about being miserable I get very angry. You attractive people don't know shit. You're miserable? I'd fucking wish for you to live a life of inferiority for a single month. Then you would FUCKING KNOW what misery is.

>>36572193
These are retarded platitudes.

I will compare myself. Not comparing myself doesn't change the fact that I am inferior.

>>36572174

Get laid. And meditate as often as you can. No transcendental bullshit, just mindfulness with breathing for half an hour a day. As a routine, it could even increase the quality of one's blockhead with one becoming a smartass.

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>>36572143
Because it mentioned Autism I took that test too. I wonder if any of this is accurate.

>>36572194
>These results told me enough.
About what? The average man gets no, or very, very little action on Tinder. The 80/20 number is based on these services and it reflects very little about your actual attractiveness and far more about how malleable the female mind is and how their perception is corrupted by these sites. (If that's what you're on about)
You might always have shitty images as well.

>>36572230
>To everyone.
But why do you value yourself based on everyone? Can you explain your views?

>>36572240
>You are not born attractive.
Oh please. Attractiveness is a mix of genetics, hormones and healthy diet. You are born with the potential and unless it's stunted by something, someone born attractive will grow up to be so.
>Even with 18 or 25 your face could still change for the better. Even your bone structure changes with its use.
Not in any notable amount.

>>36572288
What would you do with yourself if you had all the traits you desire?
I sympathize with you, just so you know.

>>36572288

>And still you experienced more happiness and joy in these six years than a dozen of under average people will experience in their whole lives.

How did you get to this conclusion? Like I suspected, you have a problem with women. Or more precisely, you choose to project your feelings of inadequacy on women, in order spare yourself the mental work of change. Also it might not be the most tactful thing to say, but I've read a lot of mass shooter manifestos, and your circular reasoning and catastrophizing sounds pretty similar. Please be gentle with yourself.

>>36572185

True. lol
Having appealing looks does not make a man attractive, right? I already guessed he'd have to be a trivial asshole who knows how to abuse the Dopamin system of brains. :D

I feel very sorry for you. Just, just continue your living. Please. People actually need you or would care about you.

>>36572341
>About what?
Sure it's not completely accurate, but it gives you an idea. Even if it was very wrong I'm still so far from average it's not even funny.

>But why do you value yourself based on everyone? Can you explain your views?
The ones who get the most resources and have the most success are the most ... successful. That's how you determine your value. By your success. Does this really need a further explanation?

>>36572262
I guess I just like to get good at things. I always do it with lots of stuff, not just games, such as instruments

>>36572230
>>36572288
Why do you have to be the best out of the 7+ billion people to compare yoursef to? Does the fact that I'll never have the money of Trump, Soros, Gates, or any of the other way too rich people mean I should NOT work for a raise? Does me not being attractive as one of these "1%ers" mean I'll just give up ? Does me being dumber that my 6th grade educated grandfather mean I shouldn't have gone to college to better myself and my station in life? Why should you care who is better looking, better off, or smarter than you?

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>>36567882
I'm finding it hard to breath like every pore is petrified and I cannot cope with any stimuli.

>>36572367
>What would you do with yourself if you had all the traits you desire?
If I got born with all the good traits then I would have had a better life, been more successful and maybe at this point in my life I could have been happy.

>>36572379
>in order spare yourself the mental work of change
You're completely correct. I do not want to change, to work hard. Because for my hard work I will not get as much as a tall and attractive guy who also works hard. Easy as that.

>Also it might not be the most tactful thing to say, but I've read a lot of mass shooter manifestos, and your circular reasoning and catastrophizing sounds pretty similar.
What I am saying is not disproven though.

>Please be gentle with yourself.
Considering I haven't punched myself in the face/head how I usually do in a couple weeks now, I would say I'm on it.

>>36572413
>Why do you have to be the best out of the 7+ billion people to compare yoursef to?
The best people get the best things, the best experiences, the best relationships. I want these.

>Does the fact that I'll never have the money of Trump, Soros, Gates, or any of the other way too rich people mean I should NOT work for a raise?
It does.

>Why should you care who is better looking, better off, or smarter than you?
Because they get more than me, often thanks to luck. I have to work more to get what they get (and usually even less).

>>36572379

this was me, also, name disappeared when i refreshed the page

>>36572384

Thanks, dude. I hope I find a way out of this, but for now things are looking pretty grim. Only times I am happy is when I am dreaming, that is why the prospect of suicide seems too appealing

>>36572443

>What I am saying is not disproven though.

yes, yes it was. you just can't see that, because you're trapped in the endless cycle of hatred and self loathing. i also had a lot of autodestructive tendencies, that's why i researched the mass shooter stuff. sounds silly, but seeing their delusions on paper and how convinced they were, makes you realize that also you could be wrong about some things and that nothing is as bleak as it seems to be.

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>>36572379
>lso it might not be the most tactful thing to say, but I've read a lot of mass shooter manifestos, and your circular reasoning and catastrophizing sounds pretty similar
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rY2Z0qhhgk4

>>36572387
>Sure it's not completely accurate, but it gives you an idea. Even if it was very wrong I'm still so far from average it's not even funny.
Unless you look like this, I don't believe you. Self-perception is very untrustworthy. Changes with disorders, mood, confidence, depersonalization and a multitude of other things. The fact that you got matches on Tinder in the first place is evidence that you're not truly ugly. Maybe consider getting a third party opinion for your images? They're not selfies, are they?
https://www.photofeeler.com/
>That's how you determine your value. By your success. Does this really need a further explanation?
I don't really determine my value like that. I value myself as myself, but then again, I'm a bit of an egoist.

>>36572341
>Oh please. Attractiveness is a mix of genetics, hormones and healthy diet.

AND your own contributions. No wonder that people can say who somebody is by looking into his face.

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>>36570860
I feel like narcissistic should be low. I'm the opposite.

>>36572559
Yes, but the raw potential is determined by things other than one's contributions. If you're hideously ugly at birth, working out and dressing well does nothing to change your inherent ugliness.

>>36572525
>that's why i researched the mass shooter stuff. sounds silly, but seeing their delusions on paper and how convinced they were, makes you realize that also you could be wrong about some things and that nothing is as bleak as it seems to be.
So have I. I don't see delusions.

It's so very simple.

People get born with different starting positions.

People who get born with a shitty starting position and work hard will not get as far as people who get born with a great starting position and who also work hard.

This is not acceptable, because these people get less out of life and this is decided by things out of their control. And who decides that some things are bad and some are good? The normies! They decide whether they will torment and humiliate short people or not. They decide what is ugly and what is not.

>>36572443
Is success the only thing you feel could bring you happiness? What does success look like to you? What's the most crucial element that separates the successful from the unsuccessful (I mean once they've already attained it, not what allows them to reach it)

>>36572548
>Unless you look like this, I don't believe you. Self-perception is very untrustworthy.
Wrong. Self-perception is extremely trustworthy if you are being honest to yourself. Most people aren't. I am. They pretend they're not ugly their whole life to protect their sanity.

>The fact that you got matches on Tinder in the first place is evidence that you're not truly ugly.
Have you read my post? A 50 year old landwhale, a woman who talks to ugly fucks to trick them into giving her stuff and a bot.

>I don't really determine my value like that.
Well if you don't mind not getting good things in life, then I guess it's no use for the two of us to talk as we are both completely different.

>>36572480

I've known a girl somehow like you. She was very dreamy, her depression was superficially hidden, she did no make-up and therefore she did not look like any Instagram model, but her inner beauty made her appealing to everybody. Also me xd

Sadly she played with me, fucked with random dudes, I got kicked out and everybody hated her. One year later she killed herself. Pls. Just think about your own contributions to this world, be selfless since this seems to be the kind of journey you're on to. Don't make the same mistake, some people are just smarter and luckier and get shit because people want to own them. Think about your options since they don't seem so bad.

>>36572389
Have you ever tried weeb instruments such as the shamisen or koto? I bought the former but all the guides were in Japanese so it turned out to have been a huge waste of money. It's a nice shelf ornament now though.

>>36572664
>Is success the only thing you feel could bring you happiness?
Yes. The people who pretend there are other ways are just coping with not being born good enough. It's sour grapes really. "Oh, I will never be good enough to be the top 10 000 so I don't need success to be happy". Yeah, right. If this doesn't have sour grapes written all over it then I don't know what does. There is a collective belief in sour grapes that most people are conditioned to in order to preserve the natural hierarchy of losers and winners.

>What's the most crucial element that separates the successful from the unsuccessful (I mean once they've already attained it, not what allows them to reach it)
The successful can pick the best. The best food, the best women, the best experiences, everything.

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>>36572479
>The best people get the best things, the best experiences, the best relationships. I want these.
Why? The most successful people often cannot find happiness despite all their stuff and money, especially in relationships where they lose more shit than we'll ever own combined.

>It does.
So by your reasoning, because I'll never be CEO of a Fortune 500 company I shouldn't work at all? I shouldn't try and better myself because I'll never be on top? I shouldn't try to get in shape because I'll never look like Olympian Arnold?

>Because they get more than me, often thanks to luck. I have to work more to get what they get (and usually even less).
Again, why do other people matter so much to you? My friend won $500 in the lottery last week, and $50 the week before. Does that mean I shouldn't ever try the lotto again just because other people are luckier than me and have won twice while I've won nothing? I just cannot understand your reasoning. This knife means more to me than any amount of money.
>pic related

>>36572613
>This is not acceptable
That's just like your opinion, man.
>because these people get less out of life and this is decided by things out of their control.
The people who get more out of life have things out of their control as well. Nobody has any REAL control over their own being and circumstances.

>>36572684
>Wrong. Self-perception is extremely trustworthy if you are being honest to yourself. Most people aren't. I am.
Hah, sure you are. As if you had any control over your own subconscious and its functions. You aren't special.
>Have you read my post? A 50 year old landwhale, a woman who talks to ugly fucks to trick them into giving her stuff and a bot.
Yes and? Those are matches. Actually UGLY people get no matches. At all. You just sound deluded to me. Defeatist, depressed with relevant self-esteem issues, but some sub-conscious ideas that you deserve the world for some reason.

>>36572548
Not even this guy looks too bad.

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>>36572613

the fact that you started off reasonably about privileges and unfair differences, then chose again to focus on "normies" and hatred of short people, is making me seriously think you're elliot rodger's ghost shitposting

"People who get born with a shitty starting position and work hard will not get as far as people who get born with a great starting position and who also work hard."

>be me
>born in dumbfuckistan, eating pebbles for lunch
>work and diet my ass off to become a model, rendering myself infertile in the process
>get a contract and move to a first world country, finally i am saved
>lifesaysno.jpg
>i am now living alone in said first world country, abandoned by the love of my life
>working shit tier immigrant jobs because i never had a chance to get an education
>come here and see a dude claiming the system is rigged against him because he's a manlet
>mfw

>>36572611

Look at Megan Fox. And I find her hot.

I am not as angry today as I was yesterday, which is nice. I'm still wary of the three people I described yesterday and I'm seeing two of them this week.

Trying to focus on the ends, that I might receive a new treatment or medicine that causes change, rather than the interactions with dodgy people I have to go through in order to get there. Puts me more at eace.

>>36572771
>Why? The most successful people often cannot find happiness despite all their stuff and money, especially in relationships where they lose more shit than we'll ever own combined.
And still they have much better life than anyone who is average, let alone under average.

>So by your reasoning, because I'll never be CEO of a Fortune 500 company I shouldn't work at all? I shouldn't try and better myself because I'll never be on top? I shouldn't try to get in shape because I'll never look like Olympian Arnold?
Exactly. It's useless. Working hard when you have unchangeable flaws is like building a house on shitty foundations. You can build and build and build but you're gonna come to a point where you just have to stop building otherwise the whole house collapses because the foundations suck balls.

>I just cannot understand your reasoning.
Look above. Also a nice knife you have there.

>>36572787
>The people who get more out of life have things out of their control as well. Nobody has any REAL control over their own being and circumstances.
Yeah but they get more out of life, so.

>Yes and? Those are matches. Actually UGLY people get no matches.
My results are very close to zero. Just because I'm not pure zero doesn't mean I'm not low.

>Defeatist, depressed with relevant self-esteem issues, but some sub-conscious ideas that you deserve the world for some reason.
Yeah because I didn't choose to not get born extremely attractive and wealthy.

>>36572269
I suppose it must be cognitive empathy. Logically I'm aware that I will eventually die and on the rational level I have to accept that other people have parallel experiences and equally expendable lives, then it makes sense to try to increase the net positives that people experience in the world. To make it better for those to follow, with a goal of incrementally improving things.

>>36572748
Is there a reason you won't answer my question? Say the word and I'll stop asking.

Does anybody here have bipolar disorder?