Anyone else here depersonalized? How did you get it?

>>36559270
OP here, the entire world feels completely different than a few months ago..

Almost as if my spirit is slowly decaying

>How did you get it?
Too much dxm and dissociatives and psychedelics combined with heavy isolation too little mental fortitude
Its not overwhelmingly strong and more along the lines if derealizarion

Life isn't too bad compared to before but i kind of want to kill myself or at least not be alive and conscious

>>36559424
>derealizarion
*derealization

20 yeaars of various abuse, but i haven't had it since i moved out of my parent's house, but i'm also co-dependent on my bf

years of isolation.

Anxiety and mild depression


originalio

>>36559424
>>36559473
>>36559497
>>36559505
how does the world feel to you?

I've been convinced that I'm going to hell

2 break ups in a row and was poisoned by a pharmaceutical for hairloss. I don't remember what it feels like to feel real.

Abused the normie MDMA drug, and realized that my decision in having normie friends was ultimately my downfall.

Spent 6 months watching myself do everything.

For most people it'll happen from drug abuse, but at times of intense or prolonged anxiety or depression, it'll also happen.

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I prefer the term...

ENLIGHTENED.

You're not going to hell, you're already here.

For me it feels like ive woken up to a reality 90% of people cant see or feel. Or they just choose to ignore it.


I feel like humans are a very capable and an intelligent animal, so the fact the majority of them choose to ignore the truth makes me feel like i'm surrounded by psycopathic savages, desu.

>>36559562
I swear to fucking god, I've just seen like.. 5 999 trips today, I haven't found any other different trips

WHAT THE FUCK

>>36559724
I've had the exact same feeling that we're already in hell, but after this experience.... It feels like I'm breaking down into another layer

>>36559724

>I feel like humans are a very capable and an intelligent animal

Bahahahahahaha

Most people are idiots, dude.

>>36559782
Not the same guy, I'm OP. But humans are domesticated.

Animals in general tend to have natural instincts which has them working to their full potential, whereas humans are lazy shits in general

If everyone managed to achieve their primitive intellectual capabilities for the sole purpose of survival.. Then they'd have a pretty wide mental bandwidth

Diphenhydramine, but I was also molested as a kid.

I'm not smart, but I understand something most others don't, I don't know what it is though, but I know I know something important.

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I got depersonalized, but got over it once I kept thinking to myself it's all in my head.
>Smoking weed for the second time ever
>Wanted to impress friends
>Take multiple huge bong rips
>Got super high
>Horrible anxiety attack
>Saw myself leave body
>Went home to fall asleep
>Still feel high
>Anxiety triggers
>Figure I'll be okay
>Go to sleep
>Woke up, still felt high, felt like everything I was doing and saying wasn't myself
>Reoccurs for over 3 months
>Deep depression and suicidal thoughts everyday
>Convince myself I'm okay and that this is just an anxiety disorder
Since I got over my anxiety and depersonalization, I've been really good. It doesn't ever come around. You just need to reassure yourself that this isn't the end, you'll be okay.

>>36559562
Empty and fake which actually helped a bit with anxiety
The terrifying part is seeing reality divorced from preconceived notions of familiarity, thinking about living things and seeing them as grinding meat machines driven by suffering is really taking a toll

>>36559424
same man, how do we do this shit every day?
i used to dxm non stop throughout high school and stopped because my appendix ruptured, probably due to dxm abuse.
then even after i would mix dxm with pot and lsd, dxm with mushrooms and pot, etc.
Along with the incredibly heavy isolation, and completely negative thoughts that surround my subconscious, i became completely detached from reality and depersonalized in myself.
Part of my actually believes that every single person on this planet is a version of myself sent here to influence me and my decision making throughout life, so i can experience the most out of life (in terms of pain, pleasure, experience, goals, drive, etc).
So basically everyone is me, and when I die i reincarnate into myself over and over yet when this happens my memory is wiped so I can experience these new experiences and memories/living for an eternity, over and over again until I finally experience everything.
So really when you die, you wake up a second later, because when your dead time cannot be perceived, and rather than being dead for a really long time, its more like a split second and youre back in the real world.
drugs really fucked my mind and i know this because i look at other people and realize that they have never witnessed, thought, or experienced this or any other outlook like it in life.
that they never experienced the complete questioning of their own actual existence and what comes after death. (which is only questionable to me as well)

>>36559724
> a very capable and an intelligent animal, so the fact the majority of them choose to ignore the truth makes me feel like i'm surrounded by psycopathic savages
More like an insufferable world impossible to face without breaking down
The normies know deep down and they repress it like nothing else, why do you think they intentionally dumb themselves down or turn to dogma?

I am again struck by the notion that I have some weird variant of DID and I am every poster on here, sometimes quite literally but that usually passes. If anyone can appreciate that sentiment it's probably us.

>>36560289
you just put my fucking thoughts in words.

I thought that my soul sold itself before I was born in exchange for this knowledge.

I'm trying to convince myself that I'm losing my fucking mind but I'm going delusional

>>36560456
part of me wants to believe it's delusional
but what I saw while "tripping" was very similar to the say, planets aligning.
it wasn't just conjecture or just a trip.
some greater power or whatever the fuck somehow, showed me, in my own mind, what life was before I was born, what it is now, and what it will be after i die.
it was like watching the chronological river of time unfold before my eyes and I was told (by me, myself) some of the secrets of the universe.
i know all of this is stupid trip blabber, but by far the realest thing I've ever experienced happened on that day, and I remember sitting on my couch just smiling, might of had tears in my eyes, and saying "i've done it. i've figured it out."
you know when you can say a sentence and know the emotion is not there to back it?
i had the complete opposite effect.
i could say "ive done it" and the emotion backing that sentence reinforced that I did find something out that day that I never experienced or was exposed to.
I plan on experimenting with this drug combo choice in the future and would advise everyone to DEFINITELY try it themselves.
about 700mg-800mg DXM, 2 hits of acid (or more) / or an eighth of shrooms (atleast 3.5g, or more), and a good amount of weed.
I would just drink the dxm, wait an hour, mix another, down that, and while im coming up also drop the shrooms/acid then when i'm entering the trip smoke a bowl or two of weed.
If there's any way to open your third eye it definitely started right there for me.
Now whats crazy is sometimes my mind can go through many hypothetical situations before they actually happen, and be prepared for when it actually does happen, but knowing that it might happen, then having it actually happen and being prepared is just a whole another world in it's own.
Future sight or not that shit opened my mind to being able to read shit before/as it's happening as well.

>>36560670
also to add, there was a feeling of "Great knowledge" being bestowed upon me, that I wouldnt actually remember until I had taken many trips after this event.
The trip would trigger a memory, and just like opening a door or a flipping a switch, so much knowledge/memories/hypotheticals flooded my mind (not in a cluttered way, but in an organized fashion that made sense so that I understood exactly where I was getting at).
It was the equivalent of an extraterrestrial (or some fucking shit) touching me on the forehead with it's index finger and bestowing great forgotten/forbidden knowledge.
Knowledge that mortals aren't supposed to know or knowledge that mortals were supposed to forget.
I know what I'm saying is whack at times, but take it from me I'm not a robot, and I attend college regularly.
Work, pay bills, taxes, etc.
So for me to be saying this isn't just like your local street junkie spitting nonsense.
This shit actually influences/changed my outlook on life.

>>36560670
This is literally the same shit that's happened to me

I've even been having constant deja vu through the perspectives of people I interact with.

But now that I convinced myself that I'm going to hell.. It's fucking hard to relax these days..

But something also tells me that I've lived this life before and that I'll still be apart of the reincarnation process and that I'm just a schizoid rn

>>36560811
It's wild. I'll even have dreams and parts of the dreams will end up playing out in reality maybe months or even years later.
Like I'll see it happening, and I know a vague picture of what's going to follow or happen next.
What's scary is that it actually happens.
Like this is shit a writer couldn't even dream up.
Deja Vu is some weird shit my man.
To see it happen and relive it as it's happening is one of the oddest feelings I've ever felt.
Like being caught in a blur between time and space.