counting days

I was raised in a poor household my whole life and while socially and emotionally I may be fucked, I am able to do what it takes to not get out of this poverty.

I just don't want to live my whole life miserable and hungry, stressing about making ends meet.

>>36547057
so you'd say your ambitions drive you?

>>36546929
>what keeps you going?
i don't have the means to kms properly
guns are more illegal than witchcraft in the middle ages
im too afraid that hanging would fail miserably and i end up as a drooling vegetable or very slow and painful death
the city is built in such a way that you cannot access tall buildings

otherwise nothing drives me

>>36547210
same here anon but if we're both honest to ourselves, we could find a way to make it work.
it's just apathy.

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>>36547187
I suppose you could say that, yeah.

I'd like to try and experience some sort of happiness in life. Being miserable is just normal at this point so if it takes a while that's not a big deal.

>>36547289
it's great to hear that. keep going man. i wish you the best.

I dont know anymore. My brother keeps sending me messages saying I should do something with my life. I responded today with:"But I hate studying and college it sucks."
He responded with:"we all do, most of us just accept reality and make the most of it." Is that what im doing? denying reality because I dont wanna work a 9 to 5 till I die? Because life as a whole seems meaningless? I just dont know what to do anymore.

>>36547517
i know the feel anon. life by itself is meaningless. apart from reproduction to ensure the survival of the species. so i guess you have to infuse meaning into your life. and if you're a pessimistic person, that simply means fooling yourself.

>>36547678
But even if we fool ourself wont we realise eventually that we are in fact fooling ourselves? maybe after a year, 5 or 10 years. I think it will all come crashing down again.

I like video games, food and movies. The rest is to sustain a lifestyle so I can enjoy those things.

Afraid of killing myself, afraid of what could come after death. Life keeps handing me little threads to dangle from (it takes them away just as often) so I always have a small reason or two not to.

>>36547748
yes. that's pretty much what a midlife crysis is. the only thing i can tell you to maybe help you is:
having success won't necessarily make you happy but not even trying for it will certainly break your back.

>>36547769
that's a good view on things anon

>>36547784
do you also wonder what you might miss if you kill yourself?

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>>36546929

I'm never going to get a girlfriend so i ask myself that on a daily basis. Probably just waiting for things to get so shit that people just accept my death

there's a woman I love who's 10 years older than me (I'm 23)
Haven't seen her in 2.5 years and she moved many states away. I've been living because my friends are so nice and get high with my NEET ass.

>>36547954
is having a girl really the deciding factor for you?

>>36548008
i can relate to the getting high part. as long as i can alter my state of mind, it's kinda okay.