autsitic things you've seen or done in the past

okay yes i'm bumping this very particular thread at the very moment

>>36539254
>I went to jewish school
>have apple for lunch put sticker on head
>have holocaust assembly later that day
>forget about apple sticker
>walk into assembly with sticker on head
>get in a heap of trouble because i was disrespecting such a sad day.

>hot spring day walking to morning class
>sweating up a storm
>get in elevator
>someone asks me if it was raining
>dropout

>enter 4chan
>see this post
>op is a faggot

>>36539479
Oh shite that's a good one

>>36539534

thanks I remembered it today and wanted to kill myself for remembering it

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>be a bit autist
>not like rainman genius autist
>more like retard dumb autist

feels bad

Preface: I have a chronic disease and I take opiates for the pain.

>in art class
>teacher brings up andy warhol
>asks us what we think of his work
>no one is answering
>soblazedrn.jpg
>high as fuck brain decides to answer
>"His art is no good. I mean, what's the difference between him and those idiots that post My Little Pony recolors on DeviantArt?"
>post my little pony recolors
>on deviantart
>recolors
>on deviantart
>spaghetti is fucking everywhere
>geysers are spouting out of my pockets
>don't return to the class until final

Goddamn these drugs.

>>36539662
...but you were right

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>be me in last year of highschool
>coming back to the classroom after PE
>pick up along the way a tree branch
>sort of gives me a nice feeling, decide to keep it, name it Cletus
>come back to the classroom, see normies normie-ing around
>start acting as if i couldn't use one of my legs and help myself walk with cletus as if it was a cane
>quickly walk over to the normies (still using cletus as a cane)
>they look at me
>hold the cletus over my head with my two arms
>start dangerously moving it around while saying I'm moses and that they should open a way for my people to cross the sea
>they just move
>theatrically make my way, all is well with the world

>there's a corner of the classroom with an old poster made of polystyrene
>it's set up in a way that a person can fit behind it
>make it my new home
>take cletus there with me
>use the place it to sleep and eat in class and during breaks
>threaten anyone that approaches with cletus, say that I'm not afraid to offer one of their eyes to the god of sticks

>one day we have to make posters with kraft paper
>teachers give us to much
>get autistic idea
>decide to wrap myself up in the paper
>get some niggas to help me, end up making a nice wizard costume
>make a nice cone hat
>go out of the classroom taking cletus with me
>start making poses, threatening normies and chanting magic spells at random people in the corridor
>seize the whole area, instill fear in the hearts of normies
>erradicate every normie in sight (actually break was over and they went to their classrooms but welp)
>become "wizard bum" AKA "that guy who sleeps in that corner full of trash" protector of robots, punisher of normies
>people find it fun so keep doing it until cletus rots and dies like an hero

>graduation comes close
>time to take the last group pic
>decide that i should, once again, remind the normies of their place during such a social exercise
>put on the costume again
>pic related becomes the front page of our yearbook

>grocery shopping after not sleeping all night
>qt standing in front of fruit cups
>park cart, get fruit cups from behind her
>throw cups in cart, start walking away flustered
>"EXCUSE ME"
>turns out I stole some old lady's cart by accident

this was 2 days ago

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>>36540414
>that entire story
>that picture
fucking hell, that was a riveting tale
i'm cringing and simultaneously impressed

posted elsewhere before but
>meet guy online years ago
>a brony group so already cringeworthy
>super nice and older than me, thought he was cool
>talked every day, shared stuff
>he ended up being interested in me sexually even tho illegal and age difference
>get dick pics from him, never send any back because my cock was pretty small (still is) and didnt wanna embarrass myself
>thick so I sent ass pics, he was adamant on fucking me and was constantly asking for more pictures
>goes on for a year, end up meeting him inn my home country
>he has lost weight and was super attractive and I was pretty attracted to him actually, moreso because of his powerful nature
>end up having sex with him multiple times, each pretty different
>grow up now knowing I helped a pedophile get off
>jerk off to the thought often
won't elaborate unless requested, but I genuinely think he turned me into a gay person at an easy to manipulate age

Anime club:
>Club president is a super-super-senior who has run the club forever
>She vetoes any show "the club"(she) has seen but it's 2003-4 and there's only so much stuff available
>End up mostly watched really oddball fansubbed stuff, ranging from obscure stuff I'm glad I saw(Narutaru) to complete shit(Scrapped Princess)
>She goes on vacation and the Veep shows the club FLCL
>She flies into a rage that her authority has been circumvented and sends club members angry e-mails/voicemails
>Gets institutionalized for a week

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>>36540414

Originally my face when. Congrats on your supreme autism.

>>36540596
actually same
> be me 13
> meet 18Y/O briny fag
> we had a lot in common and often talk about gay shit.
> eventually he comes to my house when I invite him over to play Bideo games
He sucks me off and we fukuoka
10/10 gay to this day

casually watch porn with male friend and both fap to it.

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>Local neckbeards decide they're going to try to get into the Guinness book of world records by playing Magic for several days straight
>Enter game store
>BO miasma makes my eyes water
>Notice something sticking out of the guys' pants
>Realize they're all wearing Depends

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>>36540742
I'm him, do you reckon now that something in people can be like switched on or whatever to make em gay? I do but I cant understand what specifically it is

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>Be Emt-B class
>qt 3.14 Asian grill in class
>Trauma assessment
>"Someone get on the floor and be the dummy"
>Always volunteered
>Asian girl did trauma assessment on me
>Dat head to toe Patdown to check for DCAP-BTLS
>Touched my inner thighs 6 inches from my ween
>Closest I've ever gotten to secks.

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>>36540414
hats off to you anon

>>36539254
>play battlefront
>heroes vs. villains
>start imitating wookie screams as a form of battle cry
>usually get like 5000 points per game unless i'm especially tired.

>>36540787
> realizing that women are completely inferior and that being gay is the most pleasurable way to live

>>36540414
I want to believe
origame

Have posted this story before
>freshman year of high school
>its the day of the homecoming football game, which means we fuck around and play games all day
>Im emulating banjo kazooie on my school issued laptop
>1st hour teacher brings in mutha fuckin cookies
>puts them on a bench in front of class
>I get in line for that shit, but sit in front of class because of horrible vision so not much wait
>suddenly, girl in front of me drops her cookie on the ground
>instead of waiting for her or a few other people around her to pick it up, I sperg out
> crawl underneath girl's legs, she's wearing a skirt mind you
>grab cookie
>start to crawl out from underneah her legs, misjudge when I should stand up and brush my head on the underside of her skirt
>dont really remember her reaction, she may have smiled, but some stoner made fun of me for it
She was dumb as a sack of rocks and got pregnant on purpose senior year. In a Catholic high school nontheless

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>>36540414
include me in the unoriginal screencap anons!

>>36539479
Made me laugh in a boring calc class.

Thanks.

>>36540414
Simbly ebic poast

>>36540759
>they're all wearing Depends
is that like a type of diaper or something?

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>>36540414
Do you even regret any of this?

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>>36540414
>Cletus the fucking God of Sticks

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>>36540414
>wizard bum, protector of robots, punisher of normies
top fucking kek, holy shit.

>school swimming carnival
>10th grade
>been playing final fantasy x recently
>standing at the edge of the pool looking at the water i feel like tidus
>roll up one of my cargo pants' legs to look like tidus
>i am a 5'6" fat frizzy haired ginger btw
>stood there for a few minutes hoping my oneitis would see and think i look cool
>eventually one of the other aspies in my grade comes over and sharply unrolls my pants leg and tells me off for looking silly
>tfw told off by an aspie for acting like an aspie

>>36540414
Fucking wonderful. Bravo

>>36540414
Ah, you were at my side all along, Cletus.
I can see magick in your mirai.

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>>36540414
>become "wizard bum" AKA "that guy who sleeps in that corner full of trash" protector of robots, punisher of normies

Perfect anon, just perfect

>>36541069
My feelings about it now are similar to >>36540520
I remember it and sort of cringe but then i also feel proud of myself, once i put on the hat and gave based cletus command over an army of different sticks i picked up along the way i felt i could do anything, that no normie could oppose me (and indeed they never dared). I think everyone has had similar experiences.

>>36540414
Hahah lol so randumb xDDDD