Ruined Life Thread

>>36535630
I put off college for this year to continue working at my shitty minimum wage job. The worst part is, even if I end up getting into college, the majors that I'm interested in aren't exactly pragmatic. I don't really care about making a shit ton of money, just as long as I'll be able to support myself (and others, eventually maybe) and as long as I enjoy the work which is why I picked the majors I did. They are subjects I enjoy.
As a fallback, I've invested countless hours into "pet projects" in case my college plans totally flop. I've been recording music (both with my band and solo) and writing a novel which I hope to get published. Additionally, I've been trying to broaden my horizons with other hobbies (besides music and writing). Been dabbling in art, studying in history and the humanities, outdoorsy activities, and I read quite a bit.
But if all of my plans fail, then I'll have no choice but to either kill myself or skip town and live my life as a wandering vagrant. I don't think I could stand the shame of being stuck as a NEET. I can barely stand it now.

>>36535630
What were you arrested for? Requiring medical attention in public?

>>36535630
desu things in my life aren't going to get better until I have a strady girlfriend again. Problem is girls aren't interest anymore.

>>36535630
>>36535630
I have a similar story

>Hate my father very much
>He ruined our lives
>He was very rich and spend it all on women
>divorced my mom
>Barely had any childhood
>Barely saw my mom, she worked all day
>Dad in Bolivia, me in Brazil.
>Few years move to Bolivia.
>Start doing drugs
>Get into cocaine
>You 1st worlders doesn't have a clue of what true, pure, Bolivian cocaine is like
>The cocaine you guys have is deeply mixed
>Mine was 98%pure
>We called it brightness.
>In the beginning it was great
>Partying every weekend
>Everybody loved being around me
>I was confident, full of cocaine
>Started using more and more
>It stopped being fun
>Getting more and more depressed
>Distanced myself of all friends
>The pain I feel is still here
>The pain of a broken family
>No amount of cocaine could fix this
>But I didn't care
>I kept doing it
>Weighted 47 kgs (103lbs)
>Isolated myself for days.
>Lost a great job
>Dad wants to get me into rehab
>Rehab in Bolivia isn't humane like the first world, I had a friend that was beaten daily
>No one in my family likes me
>Only my brother still helps me
>Had an Awakening, when I found Jesus
>I'm clean now, without ever doing any treatment
>When nobody loves you
>When all lights go out
>When all hopes die
>The Lord is there
>Come back, he's waiting.

>>36535630
It's funny your thread is genuine.
It goes exactly with this board
But it has only a few replies
Meanwhile trap threads
Neckbeards LARPing as females threads
Black man, white women threads
And general b8 threads gets 200 replies.
/r9k/ is a shell of what it used to be

>>36535630
it's all about perspective. Who gives a fuck about getting arrested, it'll be an funny story in a few years time.

get yourself some mates that aren't fucking losers, and ween yourself off the weed if it's damaging you that much

File: kcdbHFp.jpg (976KB, 3264x1836px) Image search: [Google]

976KB, 3264x1836px

>From a poor, broken home.
>Smart but lazy gamer, robot throughout high school
>go to college, don't really know what to study
>would probably be best suited for something in IT, front end web development, GIS. Maybe not even college, but a craft/trade, but parents push me into college.
>most appealing thing is journalism, but don't want to fall for arts/humanities meme.
>latent contrarianism for some reason brings me to biology.
>fall for conservation, land management meme
>bad student and really don't fit in
>fun labs, some fun technician jobs/internships/co ops and volunteer work keeps it interesting enough to keep going, yet fosters serious misconceptions about the work I'll be doing in the field.
>depression gets to me, GPA plummets, lose scholarships
>have to finish degree by accumulating a significant amount of student loan debt
>eventually finish.
>Only have a temporary (5 month), technician gig set up after graduation.
>Fun, but my living situation makes it hard to plan my next step
>supervisor pushes me to put in for a long term career position out in the field, in a really isolated town
>have my doubts, but loan grace period is soon to be over. Don't have much money, getting desperate, feeling too specialized to look for other work.
>beat out apparently dozens of competing applicants.
>6 months in
>Between constantly feeling like an incompetent novice, not fitting in, living in the middle of fucking nowhere, I'm losing my mind, getting more and more depressed, performing worse as time goes on, yet still bound for promotion (though my take home as a gov employee would still be really low)
>fucking hell, want to quit


Should I quit? I would literally have to take any bottom tier landscaping/homeless shelter/warehouse stocking/call center help desk jobs I could find, and do a lot of volunteering, studying for certs, etc. Because reasons, it would probably cost me money to go home. But I think I would be happier/have more fun.

>>36536220
bolivia --> cocaine --> jesus

ty anon

I'll just give you a quick summary on what went wrong with me
>born, i assume there was something wrong with me from the start
>father is distant, mom is caring. Something happens at age 4 that gives me some crazy trauma
>I become very quiet
>I start accidentally astrally projecting often throughout my childhood
>Something happens around middle school and my mind breaks
>I become extremely paranoid, hallucinate daily, anxious, etc.
>Fast forward to high school, my mom divorced my dad and considering my dad doesn't speak to me, i might as well be home alone
>high school is forgettable, just social isolation and anxiety
>fast forward to a year ago, i get into the occult and then shit hits the fan, hallucinations every minute every night
>i hit rock bottom

>>36536642
M8, having a job in this economy is a true blessing
like my dad once said

>Don't fly away from your current nest, if you don't have another one ready to settle in.

Do you know what's worse than waking up early and going to work?
It's waking up early and have no work to go to.

>>36536723
"The occult" is a nice way to say
I'm dealing with demons.
You need to search the path of light or you will never have peace.
You know where to find him
You know who he is.
Open your heart,
You are already at Rock bottom
What's the worse that could happen?

>>36535630
nostalgia from your pic is nice.

>>36536723
I know those constant hallucination feels. What are yours like?

>>36535630
You're not a virgin, your life can't be shitty.

Fuck off from r9k, you're not wanted here.

Normie filth.

>>36536922
I see shadow people, Charles Manson, weird multidimensional beings, and apocalyptic worlds

>23 years old
>finally about to be kicked out of university for fucking up too many semesters, was too lazy and afraid of people to go to class and do work
>never talked to a single person in my 5 years here
>owe thousands
>no skills to fall back on
>no connections to get even a job at a grocery store or something

I can't even be one of those people who is socially dysfunctional but super intelligent. I'm just an anxious, terrified dumbfuck.

>>36536987
How do you deal with it? This has been really messing with me (my experiences seem similar enough to yours).

>>36536987
Can you describe with detail the apocaliptic worlds and multidimensional beings?

>>36537032
I can't deal with it but they basically control me now so ill do their bidding
>>36537166
The multidimensional beings are non-static "deities" that are going to destabilize the world through controlling the people residing on it.

In 150 years, human existence will end and something paranormal will occur on this planet that will change everything. I had a 3 hour experience in which I only experienced a sliver of what everyone will experience in that new world.

>>36537210
Do they look like bugs, or are they keyed to your fears?

>they basically control me now so ill do their bidding
Something similar happened to me too. I saw them "install" something in my brain in a weird way. They blocked me from entering altered states of consciousness, from depersonalization and now all of my dreams are nightmares.

No idea if they're the same or different but I didn't know it was that detailed.

>>36537412
They look like something but they also don't. Their appearance does not make logical sense to me, it seems as if their existence breaks the laws of physics.

As for control, they haven't blocked altered states of mind for me, instead they use that as a means for mindfucking me. It's very disturbing

>>36537443
What will happen in150 years

>>36536220
Which part of Bolivia were you in?

>>36537539
As for the specifics, I can't really tell. My theory is that some sort of dimensional shift will occur, but it seems to be more multifaceted than that. From what I can gather, the laws of physics will be completely thrown out the window, and pure pain will occur

>>36536763
>THIS
Having a stable job is hard enough, meet people on trains while commuting who strike up conversations
80% of them don't have stable incomes, float and busk and do shit, most are still in debt
Like >>36536723 said
keep the job until you have another job ready for you to go into

>>36536956
only post worth reading ITT