How do you kys you're self ironically?

>>36530804
why would you want to do that when there are cuties like that waddling around in trench coats

>>36530974
Poland is very far away from where I live

This is the greatest thread on /r9k/ right now.

Fucking normies aren't replying because too busy posting on trap and "fembot" threads.

reee

>>36530804
Become a clown and shoot yourself at a kids birthday party

>>36530974
Chuck is the perfect mix of

>PURE
>RAW

Hang yourself on the golden gate bridge.
Shoot yourself in front of a moving train.

Walk into a daycare and blow your brains out with a shotgun. Leave all the children traumatized.

>>36530804
Do it by "accident"
Have a picnic somewhere where there's a cliff
Or have a party on the rooftop of some building
Approach edge of cliff or roof
Make really exaggerated arm movements like a cartoon character and go "wwhhhoooaaa woooaaaahhh wwwoooooaaahh!!!!!!! heelpp I'm gonna faaaalllll!" as though you are afraid you might fall
Then jump lol people will be torn between whether you were committing suicide (which should be obvious due to the obvious caricaturized movements) or actually fell accidentally because they don't want to accept that someone could kill themselves comically.

>>36533151
>>36531878

That's Elliot Roger tier. People will think you're being edgy, not ironic.

>>36530804
Joke around with friends or coworkers about something trivial like the weather being "so bad it makes me want to kill myself". Then later on that day actually kill yourself.

Dress up as superman and jump off a building.

Link the livestream to /b/ and say you're going to become an hero.

Alternatively, commit harakiri and stuff a book of sudoku puzzles into your innards.

>>36530804
jump down the stairs and scream ups really loud

>>36533178

This is the best answer

oregano

Operate a suicide hotline and form a group suicide pact with other suicide hotline operators.

>>36534559
Knock knock

Who's there?

Sue

Sue who?

Just let me Sue-inside

When the person opens the door, shoot yourself. Well, anons? Are you impressed with my 100% original knock knock joke?

By slowly living your current life in front of the computer monitor until you die of deep vein thrombosis

>>36534635
Clever, I liked

Do one of those stupid YouTube videos like "3000 liter pool filled with mayo" and act like the usual fake-charisma douchebag, but then

"And I'm totally gonna fucken DROWN myself in it bros, it's gonna be fuckin RAD!!!!!!!"

And then drown yourself. And have it livestream everywhere or arrange for it to get uploaded everywhere possible, even YouTube and shit.

I have an idea
>get in a near fatal car crash and get rly fucked up
>be in a coma for months
>after you wake up spend mobths in the hospital allowing you shattered bones and torn ligaments to heal
>go through counseling for the trauma youve been through
>go through months of difficult physical therapy to learn how to walk again
>this whole process may take years
>the day you get home from the hospital you go to your room and blow your brains out

Bumppppppppppppppppppppioooiiouyredvbyf

i think it would be interesting
to leap into a woodchipper
but to have its ejection spray onto a giant canvas
and then spray the canvas with some kind of see-through plasticine to make sure your splatter doesn't rot
and in advance give the work a title like "automatic masterpieces study 1/1"
and set in advance the purchase price at $10 billion
i hate to give away this great idea for nothing but i realize i will never do it myself but would be amused if someone did

>>36535044
kek. Sounds like a chris morris sketch

KEEEEP BUMPIN FOR THAT HIGH QUALITY LADS

>>36534635
i have a problem with the line
>Just let me Sue-inside
it might work better written as
"Just let me, Sue, inside"

it's a quibble but improves the punchline by 8 percent and you need those points in the cutthroat comedy scene

File: 1490772113003.jpg (23KB, 249x214px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 249x214px

>How do you kill yourself you are self?

Good job

>>36535745
ITS CALLED IRONIC MEMEING YOU DIP
>>36535501
Fuck off dude it was better originally

>>36535783
>Fuck off dude it was better originally
it really wasn't unless the idea is to raise a lawsuit inside the residence

>>36535798
Are you absolutely retarded. Fuck off. It's supposed to sound dumb it's a knock knock joke. The pause just ruins the rhythm, and is less funny because they won't be named sue. You think you are le funny comedian but you are not.

Carry around a gun and wait until somebody tells you to kys, then shoot yourself in the head in front of the person who said it to you.