Trust Issues

>>36501516
I know that feeling anon and I hate it

>>36501516
No, I know this feeling, I've withheld my feelings from everyone. That fact is when people say "You can tell me anything", all they want to hear is that everything's fine. No one wants to talk about having depression or anxiety. My anxiety keeps me from having a good time and relaxing around women, I'm too afraid to make a joke in fear of her not finding it funny, I fucking hate it

>>36501516
i'm always scared that my jokes offend some of my friends and they are too scared to tell me

i don't know which is worse to be really boring and nice or to be seen as mean but maybe funny

Sounds very familiar, Op.
>I still withheld my true feelings sometimes with my gf of 3+ years
Catch22, when you really open up, you just pressed all her ' he is unmanly and weak' buttons, and if you keep it tight too much you are 'distant and cold'

>>36502846
>>36502630
>>36502943

>i don't know which is worse to be really boring and nice or to be seen as mean but maybe funny
Neither. After initial failure you will actually learn how to deal with social situations and people. Simply put you will tolerate people who don't match with your personality and instead you will try to find people who match with you. It's as simple as that.
You need to let it go to filter out people (real bros from bunch of fuckers) and get better at knowing social situations.

>>36502943
You can be confident about your issues too and you don't necessarily need to share all of them, but still the parts you share could be the truth.
You can start improving yourself, see above. That way you will gain confidence too.

Apart from this there are 7 billion people on this planet. There are enough people to use for practice. If that's your probably then I'm telling you now they are irrelevant. Most of them also won't remember what you did or said or even you.

Don't give a shit and you can break the circle. Easier said than done. If you don't think you can do it then just read something like this post every day before sleeping. You never know.

PS: Speaking from experience. Apart from that there is a difference between trusting someone and telling the truth. One is not being yourself, the other is being strategic and knowing if someone is an asshole.

>>36503232
>. If that's your probably then I'm telling you now
Typo:
probably ---> problem

>>36503232
I really enjoy being around these people but I am still extremely paranoid about their perception of me and I'm scared that they enjoy being around me less

I would rather change so that I match their personality better than be tolerated/filtered by them

>>36503321
I know that feeling, but don't give up on yourself. That way you will be lost and that can scare them away just as easily. They will think you're a try hard or that you don't have a personality.

Try to boost your self-esteem. Think of it this way: if they aren't your friends then it's time to move on. You will know if they tolerate you, that usually becomes pretty obvious based on their behavior. There are people out there who can be your (true) friends.
At least this is what I'm doing now. It starts to make more sense when you have been actually doing it for a while. Not at first, but after a while your mindset starts to change.


Yes, this is scary, you will lose contacts and you need to seek out replacements, new ones.
I realized this is how it's meant to be, when I grew apart with some of my friends or when some people were dick to me when I thought that they were my friends. Yeah, life fucks you.

Also, If they like you then they probably like something in you. If those things are your true qualities then you don't have to be afraid.
If they aren't then it's better to end. This seems worse than it's actually is.

Plus, you won't share the exact same interests with every friend. One friend is really good to talk about for example movies, the other one is a good partner at the gym, etc.
You can't talk about the same shit with everyone, or expect them to be interested only in the same thing your are.
Hell there is only one you with your unique thoughts. There is no other you to be your friend.

That's the truth I have realized. Eouch...
This is all I can tell based on my own experiences and I'm still learning myself, too.