>It says here you graduated in 2012, what have you been doing

>>36501463
>"STFU Mr. Bossman Chink!"

>>36501463
"I've been working for a NGO in Bangladesh.
I can provide letters if necessary "

They'll never ask

>>36501463
Been to the 6 mental hospitals for my huge list of mental issues

>Trying to look for a job, sir.

Interestingly enough, having trouble finding a job, and having no job in the first place, makes you unhireable to many employers.

>>36501463
Ahh, eye see your a man of distinguished culture. I am one as well. You see I've been cultivating, harvesting and tending to my memes. It's been a gruelling process

>>36501463
y-youre.. son?

>*puts fingers on eye corners and pulls eyes into slits*
"OOOOOH CHING CHONG LING LONG TING TOOOOONG!

>>36501463
Why do they care if you have a long gap in your resume?

>Nothing that concerns you

>>36501463
i'm not at liberty to say. i don't answer any questions. are you giving me the job or not? I am well qualified and my time is valuable. simple yes or no should suffice

>>36501697
Anon this is a mcdonalds interview

>>36501463
I went on a journey. And lived in a Tibetan monestary for most of that time.

>>36501697
>I don't think I can work in an environment with this guy, he seems insufferable.

The position filled up, anon. No.

>>36501681
It shows you are lazy or something. It would be pretty easy to lie and say you worked odd jobs to make ends meet up until that point though.

>>36501618
So what do you do in that case? lie?

Personal improvement.

>>36501865
Wish I knew. The job market is a fickle beast because of the Baby Boomers. I suppose we could resort to nepotism, but that implies already knowing someone who's already inside and working.

>>36501618
That's because the people screening the candidates are either HR ditzes or blowhard managers with MBAs and no real skills. These people only want to hire Chad employees that other companies want to hire. They have no way to gauge whether someone is capable of doing the job (since they haven't done the job themselves) so the only real metric they use is whether other companies are trying to hire the candidate.

It wasn't always like this. People used to actually work their way up to management instead of getting an MBA and dicksucking their way into a "gig". Ergo the people who used to do the hiring had an intimate understand of the job they were hiring for.

>>36501560
>>36501681
>>36501697
Fucking lol. Are you guys serious with these answers?

>>36501865
Yes you should lie. Lies make the world go round.

I took care of my mother because she was very sick and needed lots of help and attention. I miss her very much.

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Uhh....
>spent two years doing adult education after graduation because I decided not to do art school
>last three years studying geology


Come on, dude I'm applying for a job at a supermarket.

>>36501463
I already worked two jobs and spent the rest of the time self improving. It is truly amazing what can be achieved with the help of the internet nowadays. Anything else you'd like to ask?

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>>36502380
>geology
what does that teach you? how to build a mountain?

>>36501463
Interviews for anything greater than a cashier at Wal-Mart are mostly a sham in the modern day; the company knows exactly who they want to hire through networking and nepotism and interviews are mostly a mask to avoid discrimination lawsuits

this kind of question is one of many to give the employer an excuse not to hire you

>>36502418
Eh, what I WANT to do is work in some government agency using my (much more useless) accreditation in forestry and botany getting shit pay but being outdoors. I'll probably do mining. I did some side / field courses that would let me do some petroleum stuff if I wanted, but I don't wanna live in fucking Alberta.

>>36501840
>worked odd jobs

Have been doing that and I'm still unhireable it seems.

Oh fuck this is me

>>36501463
Why not just move your graduation year to like 2016? Not like they're going to check the year and it's much easier to explain that you went to """find yourself""" after high school than it is to say you graduated college and then spent the five following years living in your mom's basement watching My Little Ponies.

>>36502950
This is a really bad idea. Lie about your work experience before you lie about your education. This is especially true if you actually attended the institution.

The college you attended has the right to revoke your degree if you're caught misrepresenting your credentials. You're far better off saying you graduated in 2016 from a university you never attended or better yet just lying about your work experience.

>>36503153
Holy fucking shit @ revoke your degree. I never knew that anon. I wasn't the person you were talking to, but I definitely considered moving my high school year up to cover that lull period before college.

Jesus christ.

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>"so it says here you're a virgin, care to expIain?"

Since I "worked" at my mom's office for a couple of years I just lied and used it to cover up a good chunk of the 4-5 year lull in my resume where I was a HikkiNEET.

To all NEETs looking for work, if you live in a city look for some kind of young adult program.

>>36503600
I'm not white and don't act black. I can't get it up without some sort of mental connection.

>>36503600
nepotism isn't working, nothing I could do!

>it's says here you graduated in 2006, what have you been doing since then?

Ummm... playing vidjya and sometimes working part time retail slave jobs but then quit after a couple months because I just needed enough to get more vidjya and to make my mom stop complaining fro a while.

>>36503153
You're retarded. They're not going to revoke your degree for a minor offense like misrepresenting the year you graduated. That's for major shit like if they somehow found out you plagiarized a ton in your studies or are claiming credentials of a medical doctor when you have a women's studies bachelors degree.

Worst case, you tell your school you "mistyped" the year on your resume.

wanking off and eating pizza
>nobody has been that honest, youre hired

i was thinking while doing chores earlier that if the only function of my existence is to do chores to maintain my apartment so that I can go to work to earn money to pay for my apartment to do chores in etc
then I should probably kill myself because that's retarded

>>36504035
it all pays off when you retire in fifty years anon

>>36504075
do you think it would be possible to hypnotize myself into forgetting the 9-10 hours out of my day that is spent commuting / at work, so that at least part of my brain can be NEET

>>36504195
My brain is off when I'm at work. I'm on auto-pilot at work and read during my commute.

>tfw graduated in 2012

Well I worked retail, then security, but now I have a comfy govt job where I don't have to work weekends anymore

>>36504345
yeah, but you still retain awareness and memory of the experience. I'm talking about effectively blacking out during business hours.

>>36504458
Being black out drunk might help :^)

>>36503785
wtf is a young adult program

>>36504558
It helps 18-24 year olds with obtaining job placement, job (hunting) skills, etc. I know it's not only in nyc.

There are public programs for a reason, people. Use them. You are in the literal sense never alone.

>>36501463
>Applying for USPS clerk thing
>"I see here that you don't have any relevant experience"
>Have a PhD in Neuroscience from any ivy league university

just fucking kill me

>>36504655
Sounds like you made good use of those 8 years and all that money

>>36504655
Bet that 12 bucks an hour pays off your $400,000 student debt really quick

>>36504655
That must be pretty annoying to people with higher degrees.

"Bruh, I'm "intellgent" enough to have this PhD. It'll take me less than half the day to understand how everything around here works. Just give me the fucking job"

>>36501463
>It says here you graduated in 2012, what have you been doing for the last 5 years?
fuck literally me why you do this OP?

>>36504681
instead of working 80 hour works i just want a shitty 40-hours-a-week job where i can squander my shitty salary on my anime collection

I swear to god you guys, I don't understand how people get jobs in things they didn't directly study in college. I mean, I understand engineering, healthcare and computer shit because you know exactly what to look for, but even a wide ranging degree like economics how do you know what to look for?

>>36502474
>digging yourself into a second hole

>>36504710
PhD's at non-shit universities are all fully-funded, so now i have neither debt nor the desire to continue living

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>>36504720
"If you're so intelligent," said Mr. Reubens as he paused to clean his glasses, "then why are you in my office begging me for a clerk position, 'bruh'?"

>>36504781
Can't you make a couple phone calls to some trust fund kids and get a 50k/yr job sitting in a cubical?

>>36504794
I'm begging because I'm unemployed, not because I'm intelligent.

>>36504794
Well I'm not begging, I just don't need prior experience as a clerk to understand all my duties in less than a day.

>>36504655
You do understand that in those jobs it's more about your interpersonal communication skills with the other low level monkeys and customers, right?

No one cares if the guy moving 50 pound boxes knows everything there is to know about Neuroscience.

>>36504818
i'd like to get a custodial job but the administration is concerned that seeing alumni scrubbing human shit off the hallway floor would be discouraging for the current graduate students

>>36504655
>finish engineering PhD from Ivy League university
>spend 18 months sending out resumes and living in my parents' basement
>eventually find boring job unrelated to my work

And I've been stuck there ever since. I've accepted that my career is over and I'll never publish again. I'm dead inside.

>>36504897
>"It's a research position. I'm collecting field samples and testing for bacteria connected to a neurodegenerative disease."

>>36503943
>You're retarded. They're not going to revoke your degree for a minor offense like misrepresenting the year you graduated. That's for major shit like if they somehow found out you plagiarized a ton in your studies or are claiming credentials of a medical doctor when you have a women's studies bachelors degree. Worst case, you tell your school you "mistyped" the year on your resume.

Keep thinking I'm retarded until your degree gets revoked.

Here's a bunch of cases of people getting expelled for fiddling with stuff like that, lying about GPA etc.

http://judicial.governingcouncil.utoronto.ca/Reports/Tribunal.aspx

Look at case 687 in the forgery of Academic records section. Guy boosted his GPA from 3.22 to 3.58 when applying for a job. He got suspended for 5 years and a mark on his transcript for 7 years.

Moral of the story is don't lie about stupid shit that can be easily verified.

>be me, studied for physical therapy in college
>most "internship" work in the medical field is unpaid "shadowing" stuff
>all internships are incredibly competitive
>due to healthcare regulations and insurance, unlicensed people aren't allowed to do shit so you don't really learn too much at these things

>graduate from college
>try to get low-tier job in the field before grad school
>they all expect you to have experience doing this stuff that we werent allowed to do
>have to take an office assistant type job with it

>healthcare grad schools are also competitive as fuck
>have applied for PT school for 2 years, didn't get in
>applying now instead for PT "assistant" program
>even this has 150+ applicants for like 30 positions

i cant take this guys

>>36501865
You have to lie before they even ask. If they ask that question they already knew they won't be hiring you. They don't want to reject you right away, because their boss told them to seriously find the best candidate. You are busy work to them, otherwise they'd be at their desk calling that candidate they've decided upon a week before. Because of you they can look busy, if they decide too quickly it will seems like they actually are useless, and the boss will think "huh, do I really need all these HR folks?".

So they drag it on, even though you are interviewing for busy-work job any 100+ IQ 17+ years old could do relatively well after a basic training.

Fill your resume with bullshit, especially bullshit that is okay but not too impressive. Look for big businesses where it would be complicated to reach one particular person, or businesses that closed down, and don't mention anyone's name on your resume. If you have a chance they will ask during the interview, then you can give them the name, but by then it's already late enough that they won't bother to check. Even before that, do you really think they bother checking all that shit up? Of course not, they are employees too, 80% of them just want to go home after 5. And just imagine, the last place you worked at. Was your manager or boss ever contacted concerning a specific employee? And if they have, were they even available to speak on the phone? If HR people really went out of their way to check all candidates references this is all they'd ever do and most phone calls between businesses would be about that.

>>36502418
>what does that teach you? how to build a mountain?
This sounds cool as fuck.

>>36504655
They just assume you're going to leave in 2 weeks. Also the guy interviewing you or the manager may very well not like you that much. He's been doing that shit since highschool and has no life, and now he sees that very intelligent doctor coming in and wanting a job, and he can just tell you are way smarter than everyone working there by listening to you. If he's a tiny bit insecure he will be passive agressive with you, because most guys nowadays behave like women.

Beyond health care and psychology (where phd is mandatory for legal practice, at least in my country), I don't think PhD are good ideas anymore. Even in the traditional academic fields and humanities, university research is oversaturated and phd graduates basically risk ending up without any project to join and no funding.

>>36505237
Great advice.

You could also give them a name that's difficult to spell. It sounds realistic, because it's not generic sounding lie ("Mr....Smith....? Was your old boss's name?"), and it makes it hard to fact check ("Wosh....koi...chev...sky?").

>cool as fuck

Geology is more about tearing mountains down, but learning about it is super fun.

It's an awesome subject to study - lots of great field trip experience. Only trouble is that I'm broke and field school is costly.

>>36505472
What about masters?

Also, you think an insecure person would hire you to lord over you.

>>36502474
Dude, this is what im going to school for.

How screwed am I?

>>36505016
It cant be that hard to perform in the higher ranks when you're being ranked on something you like.