The emptiness

I look back into the past like its some sort of abstraction. I really don't understand my past self, nor can I sympathize with him. Even yesterday feels like a millennia ago.

Anyone else feel this way?

>>36476785
Its how it is with all of my friends, if its not 2 days ago it might aswell be 3 years ago is what we all say.

Still can't get over what the odds are of being born such an oddball. 0.013% of people actually kill themselves which I interpret to mean that there was a 99.987% chance of being born somewhat normal.

The shittiness of my life seems so deliberate. It's like I've been tailor made by the gods to suck. While I accept it all, I'm still in disbelief. Even when I look in the mirror, all I can think is just "there's no fucking way". It doesn't feel real.

When you accept that you can do nothing to improve your life (up to your own standards of success), you get an intense feeling of relief.

I was suicidal a year ago, but now I'm constantly in a state of bliss, even as my situation has worsened.

No drugs.[/spolier]

I usually forget about all my failures in life but for some reason on nights like tonigth the feeling of dread slips in without warning. no gf, no friends, no social life, no stories, i only have myself and i and me. what hurts most is that i feel like i am to blame. i live a parody of what a human should live, Sure im not in some third world country sure im not being tortured alive but to me the loneliness is constant and its the worst pain i know.

>>36476785
Your past self doesn't exist so it's only sensible to not identify with it.