/britfeel/ Blackadder goes forth edition

>>36470488
Maybe just steal him in a physical sense and lock him in a car boot

>>36470523
Better thread image to be fair. Even if it is behind

Lads does anyone remember my posts about the "banter" I'm getting off Indians at work after I said I don't wank?

It's gotten a lot worse now. The old one came up to me and said "Ok now, make a video for me, where you shake your penis and all of de nice sticky milk comes out." He was whispering it into my ear and slurping as he said it

Not sure if I can hack it lads. Going to drive to a service station to get my mind off it.

>>36470523

What happened to westscotanon?

>>36470617
I hate that shitty chink meme

Other OP maker here, deleted.

>Make thread
>Fill in captcha
>13 mountains/street sign captchas
>By the time I'm done, a new thread is already up

File: See You Scotlad.jpg (105KB, 1174x880px) Image search: [Google]

105KB, 1174x880px

>>36470645
>What happened to westscotanon?
Suicide

>>36470670
Sorry mate. Benefits of having a pass.

who is the cutest poster in this thread and why is it lenlad

File: snookerxi.jpg (89KB, 499x333px) Image search: [Google]

89KB, 499x333px

Support Xiao Guodong now

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/live/snooker/39339922

Watching the new Fargo lads. Also considering going to bed early to try and fix my sleep pattern.

My granddad wants me to go to the pub with him some time but I've only ever drank alcohol once in my life and don't want to reveal to him I'm socially retarded. At least we could have a go on the pool tables.

watching some casualty lads, the NHS propaganda is disgraceful

another racism storyline this week too, fucking lazy if you ask me

>>36470691
>who is the cuntest poofter in this thread
FTFY

Are you a TV Writer? We would love to hear from you! Please contact us at [email protected] for more info!

>>36470702
whats that on laddy

>>36470703
I go for a pint or 2 with my grandad every week. I actually dont like drinking anymore but it's worth it to share time with him. Love that man.

File: 1488406950872.jpg (18KB, 581x528px) Image search: [Google]

18KB, 581x528px

>tfw in love with a youtuber

>>36470731
I just downloaded it.

>>36470730
I wish 2bh

>>36470702
Is there a third series or something?

My credit score dropped over 30 points

Guess getting 2 credit cards in a short period was a bad move

>>36470759
Yeah Ewan McGregor plays twins. Only 1 ep so far.

>>36470715
Casualty is incredibly boring

Got a Youview+ box sent accidentally by BT, it's quite nice, might get a sky sports pass

>>36470777
>Ewan McGregor plays twins.
Neat

>>36470776

Mine is above average, and I've never had a credit card.

Having never missed a bill payment helped though, and living here for 24 years continuously.

>>36470802
What is the average?

Watching League of gentlemen atm

>>36470802
Same, mine was good until I started applying for credit cards and using them instead of cash/debit

>>36470808
Clear score and experian are different

It's like 400 on clear score
Mine was 498 and is now 460

File: Quintessentially British TV.png (270KB, 672x700px) Image search: [Google]

270KB, 672x700px

>>36470523
White girls are easy edition

Oh, it's great being black in a white neighborhood

>White boys wont DARE start a fight with you

"intimidates whites boy*

>You get to fuck EVERY white girl within a one-mile radius with your beautiful big black...

*cuts to interracial sex scene*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyhmlS-CMsQ

>>36470703
Do it, mate. I wish I spent more time with my grandad now he's gone.

File: scout-costello-glasses-black-front.jpg (14KB, 700x368px) Image search: [Google]

14KB, 700x368px

I'm going to get these on my next payday

https://www.glassesdirect.co.uk/glasses/scout-costello/?prca=PRCA20121573&aspect=front

>>36470870
>paying seventy quid for glasses

IMPORTANT POLL LADDIES

http://www.strawpoll.me/12803377

>>36470901
You literally wear them on your face, everyday

Do you want to display your autism so proudly?

File: 1492759605767.png (242KB, 665x574px) Image search: [Google]

242KB, 665x574px

>>36470901
>he doesn't get the NHS voucher for free glasses
>he doesn't go to specsavers and get two pairs of expensive glasses for nothing

saw a proper robotic couple today lads

>>36470743
https://youtu.be/K2zX_DGQI0s

just watched this video of hers and i have that exact same FUCKING DUVET COVER THATS BEHIND HER. my walls are painted the same colour as hers too. kinda creepy

>>36470940
I'm probably to middle class to get the voucher
>>36470935
No you see I don't pay for them, father does.

My sister kinda blackmailed me over my gender dysphoria again

>>36470954
>couple
>robotic

>>36470954
c3po and r2d2?

File: IMG_20161214_173702.jpg (50KB, 907x689px) Image search: [Google]

50KB, 907x689px

>>36470743
I know that feel too desu

Oh look, the girl who's constantly flip flopping between desperate to see me and completely uninterested just messaged me after ignoring my last message like 3 weeks ago

File: 5a42c98c7e44d0de934859bdfdea1bfd.jpg (888KB, 777x777px) Image search: [Google]

888KB, 777x777px

>tfw vomited three times today

I really do not want to have to do this to myself anymore.

Hopefully tomorrow will be better~

>>36471003
It's fine, she knows you will give her attention like she hasn't just ignored you for the past 3 weeks ;)

File: robin1.jpg (3KB, 160x90px) Image search: [Google]

3KB, 160x90px

This thread is lacking Reliant Robins

>>36471043
desu I ignore her just as much as she ignores me

>>36471038
How do you purge, I've tried several times but can't force myself to vomit

File: ;;.jpg (1MB, 5000x5000px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 5000x5000px

>>36470918
That result.

>Xi posting is basically Vargposting

Even Chinese memes are cheap knock offs

File: muhdick2.jpg (40KB, 1266x628px) Image search: [Google]

40KB, 1266x628px

Wonder if they got a stunt arse or this really is the scott pilgram lass.

File: xi.jpg (189KB, 1280x853px) Image search: [Google]

189KB, 1280x853px

>>36470918

Ignore this poll

>>36471085
Actually preferred the chinese watch postings that happened a while back. Least they were somewhat comfy.

new shite

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fI5Usp38Y8

File: Screen Shot 2017-04-22 at 20.47.38.png (59KB, 1290x616px) Image search: [Google]

59KB, 1290x616px

36471108
You aren't wanted here.

>>36471119
Is he going to suggest we nuke israel but with a giant bus this time?

>>36471062
I just force it up using my stomach muscles, it does not really take much effort these days desu~

Sometimes I will use a toothbrush or my fingers though. I have heard that some people cannot do it for whatever reason.

Though I really do not recommend starting Poley~

>>36471123
oh, I'm OK with it

Bit weird but inoffensive

>>36471119
The cut from the intro to the actual video is never not jarring

>>36471108
Billion strong country cucked by a poll OMEGALUL

Any of you lads tried that trick of gripping your left thumb in your left palm as tight as possible and having it disable your gag reflex?

>>36471141
Won't lie, I'd rather have you here.

>>36471123

There are at least 3 of us

File: maxresdefault.jpg (50KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

50KB, 1280x720px

I order you all to listen to this and revel in the audaciously comfy harmonies.

>It will improve your Saturday evening tenfold.

https://youtu.be/r7d0bIlWDLQ

>>36471149
Why is his intro so fancy and his vids are shit quality bedroom wankery?

File: xi.jpg (189KB, 1280x853px) Image search: [Google]

189KB, 1280x853px

Spread Chinese propaganda

>>36471184
This is more my style

https://m.youtube.com/?gl=GB&hl=en-GB#/watch?v=BxRQNO8vg2Y

File: sophie-turner-town-amp-country-magazine-uk-spring-2015-2.jpg (214KB, 1000x754px) Image search: [Google]

214KB, 1000x754px

>>36471215
>m.youtube
GET OUT YOU PHONEPOSTING TRANNY REEEEE

File: reliant 1.jpg (62KB, 634x478px) Image search: [Google]

62KB, 634x478px

>>36471206
You're not wanted around these parts, chinky

Bugger off

>>36471238
Tablet actually, mummy won't let me have a computer

>>36471215
fuck off name fag.

spurg

I have a fool proof business idea but how do I persuade the banks to give me a loan for a slightly racist business venture

File: 2017-04-22 20.25.16.jpg (548KB, 632x1123px) Image search: [Google]

548KB, 632x1123px

what's filling ye tankards lads. forgot about this bugger when i moved,

>>36471278
What's the idea? Maybe us lads can invest.

File: sophie-turner-town-amp-country-magazine-uk-spring-2015-1.jpg (403KB, 1000x1488px) Image search: [Google]

403KB, 1000x1488px

>>36471269
aw, how many gb? You can only keep so many creepshots of polish girls on that tiny hard drive
love you really, how is hrt?

>>36471184
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YTgwY1Ld5s

This is essential robot listening. It tells the tale of a robot as seen through the eyes of others.

>>36470703
Get some pub grub off the schnydey cunt by the pool table to level u up

File: xi.jpg (180KB, 1280x853px) Image search: [Google]

180KB, 1280x853px

Buy Chinese Steel.

File: yinggan.png (3KB, 242x172px) Image search: [Google]

3KB, 242x172px

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0W9VysSivoa

Hi lads I need some advice

>graduated uni in October, no experience
>struggling to find a job
>started claiming universal credit in February
>Lied on my CV and said I've been working
>finally got offered a job, accepted it
>they need a P45, oh shit, don't have one
>planning to say I'm self employed
>also need to call up universal credit to say I've found a job
>they will ask which company

I'm a bit fucked here if universal credit call up the company I just accepted the job at. If they talk to each other, the company will say I've been self employed and the universal credit people will tell them I've been claiming benefits. I'll probably get terminated before I even begin at my new job for lying, and investigated for fraud by universal credit

Thinking about ending it all desu

>>36471288
Opening white run takeaways in UKIP constituencies

>>36471297

Yeah, it ends like we all will too.

What are your thoughts on Paul Simon being a closet robot?

>>36471249

Reliant robin got 3 votes for worst meme too.

You're not wanted either, Gweilo

>>36470840
My nan said all the old gals in the nursing home wouldn't shut up about this ffs

>>36471206
>>36471249
I wonder who'll win this irrelevant skirmish between minnows

Anyway, I give you my blessing to decrease comfiness levels of this thread with your feud

>>36471293
Eh, my main concern was always laser/hair removal before HRT and that's going OK but still have a distance to go

>>36471309
You just need to use appropriate language. "Traditional British food served to and by local people" or something.

>>36471305
UC should give you a P45 surely

>>36471309

So opening 0 takeaways then?

>>36471309
So you would advertise as "white British owned and run"?

If you really have the balls to do this, and you pick the right area, you will do very well.

>>36471305
you need to fuck the job off.

Ring the company and apologise saying you're gonna have to decline because something else came up.

Better than getting done for fraud.

>when CV fraud is genuinely a thing. google it.

>>36471309
>UKIP constituencies
But they have 0 seats in British parliament

>>36471303
>yin ga
WHO U CALLIN A NIGGER WHITE BOY!!!

>>36471305
you should have just told the truth about your empoyment situation, 6 months without a job after uni is far from crazy, and not nessesarily even indicative of you being a shitty candidate.

File: 1482023026401.jpg (26KB, 280x390px) Image search: [Google]

26KB, 280x390px

>>36471309
So mediocre chippys then? Also

>UKIP
>constituencies

Oh look my ex has sent me 3 messages, one of them is a photo. Wonder if it'll be her tits or some boring shit I'll have to pretend to care about?

>>36471365

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1VFcbJhCrTS

>>36471320
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zo1naJEacE8

I'm not the kind of man
Who tends to socialize
I seem to lean on
Old familiar ways
And I ain't no fool for love songs
That whisper in my ears
Still crazy after all these years
Oh still crazy after all these years
Four in the morning
Crapped out
Yawning
Longing my life away
I'll never worry
Why should I?
It's all gonna fade

I enjoy artists that sing about the plights of being autistic. It's nice to know someone gets me, it's like having a friend I guess.

>>36471381
No lad I mean indian and chink takeaways

>>36471382
post tits
captcha: footpath canelli

>>36471381
Also if the area has a low non-white British population then the takeaways would already be white

If not then the pakis would smash you up

>>36471359
Yeah - today.

On the 9th of June we'll wake up with a different story. I am predicting 359 seats for UKIP, and Paul Nuttals of the UKIPs being asked to form a government by the Queen.

File: e32.jpg (86KB, 736x954px) Image search: [Google]

86KB, 736x954px

>>36471062
I've always failed too. I've tried it like 10 times previously but each time I'm just sticking my fingers down my throat for like 10mins and doing the throwing up motion but all that happens is a load of snot comes out of my nose and tears out of my eyes (not crying tears) and I just puke up a bit of bile or something.

haven't tried in ages because of how awful that was. for the better

File: wolf.jpg (42KB, 280x390px) Image search: [Google]

42KB, 280x390px

Knock it off you disappointing batty boys.

>>36471423
>If not then the pakis would smash you up

I live in a 40% white area, and we have white takeaways that don't get 'smashed up by pakis'

>>36471423
>pakis would smash you up
the pakis can barely smash their cosin's sister, let alone nan bread

>>36471413
No such luck. Just some dirty/funny bday card a friend got.

So it's confirmed lads. "Those Good Fellas" is going to be on E4 this June.

>>36471392
>bei rin
YOU TRYNA SAY BOI YOU CHINK LOVIN CRACKER

>>36471401
stop it anon - These are all the songs I've been secretly relating to for years.

Could you be.... my guy?

File: tb.jpg (40KB, 449x337px) Image search: [Google]

40KB, 449x337px

Any of you lads got a favourite CBBC/CITV show?

No sky kids allowed.

>>36471478

According to who?

I cant see anything about it on the channel 4 website

>>36471401
Also 'I am a rock I am an island' is pretty robotic.

my bum is sore, stinging a bit. no clue why

File: sophie-turner-town-amp-country-magazine-uk-spring-2015-4.jpg (991KB, 1000x1500px) Image search: [Google]

991KB, 1000x1500px

>>36471497
>tfw too poor for sky
not really, my parents just refused to pay so much for tv
up on the roof was great, transformers, fuck I can barely remember anything else. Jog my memory lads?

>>36471401
Thank you sir, very comfy on the ear holes.

>>36471482

http://vocaroo.com/i/s16LDuJhCe6T

Well, do you?

>>36471519
stop putting things there

File: 14993459545.png (59KB, 658x662px) Image search: [Google]

59KB, 658x662px

>>36470076

T-thanks lads. Went with a new fried chicken place. Probably going to be shit

File: pg-34-chuckle-1.jpg (430KB, 2048x1536px) Image search: [Google]

430KB, 2048x1536px

>>36471497
any other show is inferior

>>36470991

boxxy will always be my queen, not only is she beyond perfect but i first noticed her at what was the best time of my life, 2009 or so

>>36471562
Ae sorry lad. What brand is it?

>>36471488
H-how do you feel about post rock?

>>36471433
>tears out of my eyes (not crying tears)
Same

>>36471588
Just some local owned one that just opened. Surprisingly a lot of stuff for the 8 quid I paid though

>5 pieces of fried chicken
>5 wings
>2 fries
>10 onion rings
>2 cans of coke

>>36471497
i used to fap to her when i was a wee lad

File: 1415389806096.jpg (35KB, 529x566px) Image search: [Google]

35KB, 529x566px

>>36471522
>tfw we OnDigital/ITV Digital
>could watch wrestling, Simpsons and Futurama, CN and Nickelodeon
>tfw it went bust and I had to go back to CBBC/CITV

>>36471618
Give us a review later boss man

>>36471591
I like Slint and Talk Talk will that do?

are you the music anon I always end up chatting to in here?

I like you.

Fucking HATE HATE HATE boy children. Want to slap the piss out of them. Noisy, snotty, horrible little cunts.

>>36471649
calm down you absolute pedo

File: Mummy-No.jpg (46KB, 768x432px) Image search: [Google]

46KB, 768x432px

>>36471649
>Fucking HATE HATE HATE boy children
What are your thoughts on girl children?

>>36470743
She's really not all that mate. Bit beefy down there

File: 1488405914243.png (532KB, 558x455px) Image search: [Google]

532KB, 558x455px

>>36471663
I wouldn't mind to be honest. I'm lonely and she's cute

>>36471662
Girl children are acceptable.

>>36471618
That's not a lot you mug

I planned to fix my bike and go for a ride today, but I got wasted last night and only just woke up

was the weather good?

>>36471663
how'd you know?
original ravioli

>>36471706
Nah not great. Try again 2moro lad.

just downloaded Eve Online, going to give it a go lads

I'm such a cool, hip, social guy that I'm doing my washing at 9 o'clock on a saturday night

File: 1480162825872.jpg (67KB, 468x548px) Image search: [Google]

67KB, 468x548px

dont mess with my nan she proper hard n dat

draw requests?

>>36471728
you must harness all your autism magicks

>>36471707
Hooked up with her during uni we literally had this story last thread

>>36471736
draw a crocodile being lynched by a gang of smug coyotees

>>36471736
draw john Lennon snorting coke

thank you

File: ED.jpg (124KB, 960x640px) Image search: [Google]

124KB, 960x640px

Well I messaged pic related. She's one of those weirdos who isnt online all the time so not sure when/if she'll reply

my local chippy gives me a free bottle of coke every time i go there. i feel like i've accomplished something in life now.

>>36471747
full of shit m8 without proof

I never get where people get off writing elaborate lies and fiction on the internet. Is it so they can pretend for just one second they have worth?

>>36471736
lenlad hanging out with kagamine len

>>36471767
Her skin looks like it'd flake onto your skin if you touched her face

>>36471767

whats the deal laddy? dating website or something? that looks like a pic youd find fo someones mum from the 1980s or something

File: 1466619633710.png (22KB, 417x500px) Image search: [Google]

22KB, 417x500px

>>36470523
>/britfeel/ Blackadder goes forth edition
Daily reminder that Oxford's a complete dump https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKuHYO9TM5A

File: sophie-turner-town-amp-country-magazine-uk-spring-2015.jpg (545KB, 1000x1291px) Image search: [Google]

545KB, 1000x1291px

>>36471784
>tfw no skin flake gf
every time I touch her, a part of her comes away with me

>>36471778
Here are your options
>I came up with an elaborate and extremely accurate fantasy about a relationship I never had despite having a degree from UoL at the time when she was there. The truth is that she's a virgin and has never actually had sex.
>We got friendly and slept together a couple of times

Your choice my man.

i don't normally like rap but the new kendrick album in pretty good lads

>>36471838
still keep in touch with her?

what's she do these days?

File: BGm_4D6CAAELzXK.jpg (26KB, 498x360px) Image search: [Google]

26KB, 498x360px

>>36471497

heard this mentioned the other day, brought back a lot of memories

>>36471736

Draw Nick Griffin

File: 1484368821511.png (9KB, 600x400px) Image search: [Google]

9KB, 600x400px

>>36471755
I trust this will satisfy madame?

File: EM.jpg (59KB, 378x238px) Image search: [Google]

59KB, 378x238px

>>36471789
We used to be real good mates ten years ago. Fooled around a bit but I had a gf at the time. We were still friends but drifted apart after she went uni/travelling. I tried to get back in touch with her but she replied with pic related. The other day she added me on fb so I'm not sure what's up.

File: robin3.jpg (10KB, 274x184px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 274x184px

>>36471767
Impress her with a Reliant Robin

>>36471736
>draw requests?

Draw any of the waifu anon waifus doing lewd things with/to each other please

What wanking tactics can I use to last longer?

Feel like blowing my load after 10-15 minutes fucking a girl and constantly have to stop just before the point for no return then change position. It's not at all ideal desu

>>36471866
Nope, I think she went to do a PhD further south.

>>36471706
>was the weather good?

It was half decent in Wigan lad, if not a bit chilly in the shade. Managed to change the front brake pads on my motor.

>>36471896
Only stroke the shaft - don't touch the glans.

>>36471646
Nah, I'm one of the weed posters and just an all around shitposter.

If you like depressing music you should check this out.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbnqwbLRDOI

File: 1465838994201.png (5KB, 600x400px) Image search: [Google]

5KB, 600x400px

>>36471869
okay i guess itll have to be ultrarrealistic though hope thats okay

>>36471896
Fuck off normie. Ur not welcome.

Tried Vegemite today after 10 years. Not bad but it doesn't beat Marmite

>>36471896
death grip and ruin your penis, at least youll have plenty of stamina if you can even get it up for long periods

>>36471838
i believe you lad

honestly, people exaggerate those who they are infatuated with. i bet she is nothing special. would bum her head in though

>>36471872
fantastic thank you anon much love

>>36471728
Yes lad, hit me up if you want a hand with anything. It's super complicated at first but there's no other game like it.

Dravos Tarimus

PIZZA WARS - tonight's contenders are Sainsbury's sweet chilli chicken vs the deep pan cheese and tomato

>>36471930
looks like one of those toby mugs

>>36471979
Gotta be Sainsbury's, Deep Pan never live up to expectations - too doughy.

Thank got I've got enough weed for a decent joint lads. Hallelujah praise the lord, I'm off to that special place shortly.

File: 1463184438695.png (10KB, 600x400px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 600x400px

>>36471895
i'm not really that familiar with them but i'll give it a crack

File: C9sWiPRWsAAK3OX.jpg (330KB, 900x1200px) Image search: [Google]

330KB, 900x1200px

have any of you lads ever considered human sacrafice for a gf? Seems like I have at least a decent shot at getting a qt. If you've tried before, which gods didn't work?

>>36472022
I'd human sacrifice myself

File: UnitedKingdom.jpg (48KB, 620x387px) Image search: [Google]

48KB, 620x387px

List every single town/city in the UK that you've been to.

File: 1474519522987.png (6KB, 600x400px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 600x400px

>>36471761
seems a bit specific but okay

>no girl will date me because I don't do alcohol or cannabis

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>36472037

>slough
>bradford
>oldham

>>36472037
Newcastle


>tfw been to more foreign countries than I have british towns

>>36472037

Why would I want to leave Gloucester

>>36472037
Glasgow, Southampton, Portsmouth, Exeter, perenporth. Anywhere where whites reside basically.

>>36472037
>london
>ashford
>egham
>hackney
>glasgow
>newcastle
>bunch of seaside towns as a kid

>>36472057

in the same boat my m8, cant drink because of gastric reflux disease, dont do drugs because too many bad experiences, although around here it isnt weed its coke that matters

>>36472102
Pussy letting acid reflux define you.

>>36471877
>Being a junkie is super lame

She is judgmental.

>Do you still love TV shows?

You sound fascinating.

>>36472117

3 pints makes me puke my guts out laddy, anymore than 3 and im passing out/puking through my nose sick

>>36472130
I know. I'd like to think I had things besides drugs and tv that define me but I guess not. She was wrong about me being a tattoo artist as well.

>>36472102
>>36472057
Guys... Just ask for a coke in a pint glass and tell her it's bitter.

File: IMG_2283.jpg (1MB, 3264x2448px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 3264x2448px

>>36472005
Winner winner sweet chilli chicken sainos dinner.

>>36472037
Only cities, in chronological order

Oxford - 1992
Southampton - 1995
Coventry - 1999
London - 2000
Birmingham - 2003
Norwich - 2004
Milton Keynes - 2006
Leeds - 2006
Manchester - 2008
Leicester - 2010
Bristol - 2010
Liverpool - 2011
Derby - 2012
Nottingham - 2013
Cambridge - 2013
Peterborough - 2013
Cardiff- 2014
Exeter - 2016

>>36472037
Bit tricky to remember them all
Windsor
Eton
Slough
Reading
Maidenhead
Swindon
Chiseldon
London
Welwyn Garden City
High Wycombe
Henley on Thames
Sherbourn
North Hampshire
Basingstoke
Manchester
Derby
Brighton
Littlehampton
Crowes
Christchurch
Ryes
Fishguard
Cwm-yr-Eglwys
Bangor
Glasgow
Parrog
And probably about five dozen that I can't recall

>>36472164

second anon here, tried this before, it doesnt look anything like bitter or flat guiness before you mention that

>>36471926
What's the science behind this?

>>36471932
I'm not shagging girls by seduction mate don't worry

>>36471954
I do death grip I think. I can cum in about 3 minutes if I want from wanking. I just wank till I almost cum, stop; then start again and eventually cum after about 15 minutes when I wank. I think that has a lot to do it with it. Especially since when I went 3 weeks without wanking and then shagged I lasted a good hour and had to go fucking hard at the end just to get myself to cum.

No fap might not actually be a meme lads.

>>36472054
nice original pic

>>36472188
Oops. Spelt Sherborne wrong

>look myself up on 192.com
>it shows my address, the people I live with, my age, when I turned 18
who the FUCK gave these people my info??

>>36471877

>getting high and playing Kerplunk
>working in a boardgame cafe
>being a junky is "super lame"
>Rick and Morty is completely amazing
>dude

I feel nothing but animosity

>>36472194
The science is that the nerves are most concentrated in your glans, that's what you stimulate when you jack off. If you don't rub that ridge then you won't orgasm as fast.

>>36472158
Haha so the only thing that Lou was right about is that you became a junkie? I like the way he threw in something good too. What a bro.

>>36472164
>hehe anon let me have some

best just saying it's a vodka coke desu

>>36472194
>3 minutes

youre not gripping hard enough, under a minute is how you know youre really destroying your dick

>>36472221
I've never had a girl ask to have a sip of my drink

>>36472206

id love to get some credits for that site and start doing some proper stalking, im afraid that the people will somehow find out ive been looking for them on there though

>>36472206
You did when you signed on to the electoral register.

>>36472188

You just reminded me of Chichester (2005) for mine here>>36472172

>>36471932
fuck off ya bitter virgin

lol never tasted a pussy in your life. the shame

>>36472244
I don't remember doing that

>>36472231
Really? There's a girl that comes out drinking with me and my mates and we share our drinks all the time

>>36472210
Nostalgia is a powerful thing I guess. But yeah she could get annoying. I've got nothing else going on in my life though.
>>36472215
Can only assume they had to think of something on the spot and remembered I had gotten a tattoo.

>>36472214
That logic doesn't make sense to me. If I wank without touching the glans and then shag a girl my glans won't know what hit them, the pleasure will be too much and I'll cum even sooner. Surely?

>>36472253
Not sure how my list will remind you of Chichester, but you reminded me of Milton Keynes, Leeds and Cambridge >>36472188

>Have you dumbed down 40K?
>Not at all. We've made it easier for new people to enter and get to grips with the basics.

https://warhammer40000.gw-hub.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2017/04/New-Edition-of-40K-FAQ.pdf

Final series of 40K released.

>>36472284

The only real solution is circumcision to reduce the sensation

>>36472284
Why are you shagging girls? I'm telling you how to make your wanks last longer.

Cant decide if I should try to go to bed early or try to stay up late. Need to be at the jobcentre at midday tuesday so have to get ready.

File: 1454110311007.jpg (38KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

38KB, 1280x720px

>>36472037
Manchester
Salford
Bury
Altrincham
Lymm
Warrington
Runcorn
Liverpool
Leeds
Bradford
Nottingham
Birmingham
Lancaster
Sheffield
Leicester
Gloucester
Chester
Oswestry
Exeter and other places around Devon that I can't remember
Llandudno and other towns around North Wales that I can't remember

>tfw I've never been to London and the only time I've been to Scotland was to get a ferry to Ireland

>>36472315
>Why are you shagging girls?
The /britfeel/ battle cry.

Plastic Nee-san is the greatest artistic work of the 21st century and I will fight anyone who disagrees.

>>36472284
your penis is yours
not a tool for others

>>36472311
I've no plans to ever mutilate my penis

>>36472315
>Why are you shagging girls?

Because it's better then wanking

>I'm telling you how to make your wanks last longer.

I'm trying to get my time during sex to last longer

>>36472365
>Better than wanking
If you weren't wanking like an utter pleb you wouldn't need a cunt

>>36472258
More pussy than u had hot dinners laddo, ur hot dinners are when mummy says milk from the breast is ready. Just like when I came round for "dinner" that time son! X x

>>36472363
don't know what that means

>>36472372
My wanks are class but nothing beats sex lad

>>36472037
The ones I can remember :

London
Edinburgh
Swansea
Southampton
Birmingham
Manchester
Exeter
Leeds
Cardiff

>>36472393
Yeah like I said you need to up your technique

just did a poo fellas, feel much better now

>>36472393
He's saying it doesn't matter how long you last.
All that matters is you get an orgasm.

>>36472390

my first boss used to say this all the time

>ive had more [X] than youve had hot dinners, anon me ol' muckr

in that fucking annoying Irish accent

File: e3704d7f640bcd6e0e1fc6cbf17ba73c.jpg (70KB, 800x1000px) Image search: [Google]

70KB, 800x1000px

Would you visit me if the NHS made me an inpatient? Do you have any experience being an inpatient, or outpatient for that matter?
Post waifus

>>36472372
wanking does feel better than sex but you can't get cuddling, kissing, feeling another person, face sitting

>>36472432
Ur boss was a wise man.

>>36472412
have sex

>>36472425
I want to last longer because I like fucking and it's annoying lasting only 10 minutes

>>36472468

he was fat fuck

>>36472363
Escorts will send you away once you come. If you want your money's worth you need to last

Anybody else feel that the Northern Irish are the pigeons of the UK?

Fucking horrible slimy, greasy, unfashionable, backwards, insecure cunts.

I've met many many northern irish. And all share the same characteristics. Not one redeemable quality. Even people I've met that seemed ok at first ALWAYS turned out like this.

What's wrong with them? Is it the fact they grew up in a war-torn, backwards shithole that is masquerading as a first world country when it is clearly third world?

Anybody else feel this?

>>36472475
It's not like you go soft straight after, unless you've got some kind of erectile dysfunction.
And more importantly, why bring this stuff up here? Wrong board.

>>36472476
So ur fat fuck of a boss has had more pussy than u had hot dinners? Bad times m8

>>36472507
Fair point. I'll try /adv/ tomorrow

>>36472481
so have a wank before you go

>>36472390
>ur hot dinners are when mummy says milk from the breast is ready.

you have some strange fantasies lad. no wonder the ladies stay away

>>36472528
And lose all desire to turn up to the appointment?

TRUE STORY - You will die in this lifetime at some point. What will make u a true Brit (or Brit feel contributer)

>>36472514

no, i think he may have been liaring, or perhaps being selectice with the truth, it wasnt just pussy, its jobs/interviews/cars/holidays/houses, near enough everything except hot dinners as it happens

>>36472543
if you're desperate enough to see an escort I don't think that will be a problem

>>36472495
>Anybody else feel this?

Absolutely. Also, if you find a 'brit' that adamantly gives a shit keeping NI in the UK, you can guarantee they'll be from there.

Why should I side with Orange paddies over green paddies? I'd rather Ireland take it off our hands desu

>>36472589
And lose all that oil off the coast of NI?

I wish I had an accelerated healing factor so I could cut myself without worry desu.

File: 1471551984140.jpg (82KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

82KB, 1280x720px

>>36472449
>tfw the urge to end your life is back

>>36472540
Son, me and mum are going to be "busy" for the next 3 hours, please close ur bedroom door and turn ur shitty rap music up or put the industrial grade ear defenders on I bought u from the last time I "visited"

>>36472611
Faslane nigga. They'll never have oil exploration there.

>>36472611

Loyalist detected, what oil?

>>36472449
ive been an inpatient many times in my life, sure id visit you though

>>36472625
i know your into the mummy and daddy fantsies lad but you dont have to tell everyone here about them

>>36472589
Kek Ireland doesnt really want it back so that's a problem.

File: s3f4d25ad09111e9c512bad99072440f3.jpg (188KB, 705x1000px) Image search: [Google]

188KB, 705x1000px

>>36472449
Of course I would visit you lad, and I am an outpatient~

I hope you get better soon lad

>>36472641
http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/northern-ireland/major-oil-discovery-off-ni-coast-29040923.html

seen a transgender person in a rock pub yesterday. it an m to f trans person. was so obvious that they are trans because of their voice. looked like a girl playing fancy dress.

File: C9xxklSWsAQYf0N.jpg (76KB, 1200x772px) Image search: [Google]

76KB, 1200x772px

Just proves this place is full of normies, friday and saturday night go slower than weeknights

>>36472698

7 billion worth of oil, NI is subsidised by about 11 billion a year

File: ja rool.jpg (13KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

13KB, 480x360px

DAE feel like Ja Rule has a very nice body?

File: Fun House Twins.jpg (24KB, 223x322px) Image search: [Google]

24KB, 223x322px

>>36471497
>Queens_Nose.web is too large for /r9k/

>>36472773

Whats wrong with normies lad?

>>36472764
>looked like a girl playing fancy dress.
So many of them do. Do feel bad for them no matter my views on the subject in general.

>>36472672
Do I have to do anything as an outpatient?

>>36472809
>Do I have to do anything as an outpatient?

Yes. Hospital visits and meeting with specialists etc. It is not very intense though and you get a lot of independence~

>>36472806
Fuck off, you normie. I fucking hate you

File: swoleblackrapper.jpg (90KB, 800x1114px) Image search: [Google]

90KB, 800x1114px

>>36472795
although nelly does too

>want to go down to get some water and maybe a snack
>this polish retard is doing god knows what for hours downstairs

I dont know what the fuck is wrong with this person, is he so desperate for human interaction that he'd fuck around doing nothing in a public living area just to be intentionally ignored?

Might do a wank lads

>>36472807
i feel a bit sorry for them. i guess i dont feel a lot of empathy because i cant relate to their problems and at the same time i just think why did they get it done. fair enough if they didnt like societies expectation of a female but they could of still done there own thing with out becoming male. they never knew what life is like as a male, and that makes me think they never truly knew if they wanted to be male.

Just finished the chicken lads, it was a decent experience, barely. The classic chicken pieces were hot throughout which was a good sign, tender and flavourful aswell. The batter was dead though, soft and chewy. The hot wings, while spicy were barely warm and the batter suffered the same problem as the original pieces. The fries were dead, needed to bury them in salt to get some flavour out of them. Texture was shit. Onion rings were overall a disappointment, soft and floppy and had no flavour.

Original chicken pieces: 6/10
Hot wings: 4/10
Fries: 2/10
Onion rings: 1/10
Value for money: 7/10

Overall: 6/10

You got a lot for the amount I paid and I wasn't able to eat it all. Unfortunately you just get a lot of mediocre stuff. I think I'll pay a bit more next time and get some Dixy Chicken or pickup a KFC.

>>36472865
I've lived in shared flats before and I hate this.

Thank god those days are over.

whats the best final fantasy game? main series only

File: 1490377494464.jpg (122KB, 1200x1059px) Image search: [Google]

122KB, 1200x1059px

I love Rose, lads

>>36472942
Thanks for the review lad. No excuse them having fries that bad imo. The only chicken place near me is a KFC (although it's a white area so I'm sure that's part of it).

>>36472980
>main series only

pleb

>>36472980
Thirteen of course :^)

i wish i was brit, these threads seem really comfy

>>36472980
2d: IV
3d: X

>>36473003
Where you from mate? And yeah except when we're all arguing it's pretty nice.

>>36472865
>>36472949

I can understand if this motherfucker wanted a cup of coffee or a sandwich or whatever.

but when this autistic cunt literally spends 2 hours in the kitchen with a laptop on the living room all alone.

what the fuck is wrong with you? do you not get the hint that everyone in the house only goes to the kitchen to cook, maybe watch the telly while eating and then hide?

nobody wants to fucking see you spend 6 hours a day on the kitchen+living room hoping for some semblance of interaction.

>>36473040
burgerville

Time for another night of heroin I think lads. I just dont care anymore.

>>36472980
XII, XV.

Shit Tier
VII

>>36472986
No problem lad, I should have trusted the 1 star Google reviews but the Just Eat ones seemed decent. Just have to worry about not getting salmonella now

>>36473056
non-brits can be granted a special one month visa under special circumstances, but non-brits need to abide by the culture and rules of the thread

File: 1473181300179.jpg (68KB, 536x567px) Image search: [Google]

68KB, 536x567px

>tfw too retarded for the most basic point and click games

>>36472980
V is my favourite.

>>36473087
Non Brits need to know the basics of Brit culture and not think some shitty Irish stereotypes = Britain.

We fucking need a citizenship test.

>>36472993
No need to be a dickhead mate

>>36473138
i-it was just banter

>>36472842

Why do you hate me? What have I done to you?

>>36473044
Leave an anonymous note that says this.

File: 1486858052407.png (28KB, 354x286px) Image search: [Google]

28KB, 354x286px

>>36470523
BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM
I WANT YOU IN MY ROOM
WHERE WE CAN STAY TOGETTTHER
FOREEVER IN NY ROOOM

File: image.jpg (286KB, 1100x660px) Image search: [Google]

286KB, 1100x660px

I want this gf reeeeeeeeeeee
The ugliest fucking normies get laid at uni and I just sit inside all day.

>>36473223
iktf lad

>tfw my 5'6 obese mate has a qt 7-8/10 gf he's been dating for 2 years now

fucking how

Think about your biggest secret

Now think about how big the averages persons biggest secret is

Whose, secret is bigger, yours or the average persons?

File: image.jpg (360KB, 1080x1765px) Image search: [Google]

360KB, 1080x1765px

>>36473244
Beta uprising when

never feelsbadman

>>36473223
>>36473244
they are probably fun people to be around. why would women bother with us if we just sit in our rooms all day.

>>36473259
The average person. My biggest secrets are things people have told me in confidence.

>>36473317
Yeah I mean I'm happy for him and everything. I reckon if I wasn't such an antisocial fuck I'd probably have a gf

>>36473259
my secret is extremely big, the average person's secret can't compare

im a dog

I'm hungry but there's nothing I want to eat

File: image.jpg (434KB, 1200x1540px) Image search: [Google]

434KB, 1200x1540px

>>36473317
Because when I'm not depressed and comfortable I'm genuinely funny to be around. I have no friends at uni, but a bunch of turbo normies in my home town keep me around for that reason.
I am, however, a cunt.

Gonna be a bloody landslide lads

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/jeremy-corbyn-labour-bank-holidays-general-election-2017-a7697296.html

>>36473259
My problem is that I have thousands of tiny secrets that I have to lie to skirt around and then I have to remember the lies I've told.

Normies have it easy.

>>36473317
I'm fun in short bursts but I get exhausted and miserable if I spend too long with people.

>>36473223
whenever i go out i always see fat loud chavs with gfs and i wonder how they do it. then i realise its because i only ever go out to go to the corner shop and never talk to anyone

>>36473305
Will you lead us? Will you claim her as your own?

File: image.jpg (47KB, 631x480px) Image search: [Google]

47KB, 631x480px

>>36473389
Smart shot at some of the nationalists actually, making St George's day a public holiday. Definitely trying to capture the disaffected Midlands and North.

>>36473223
>tfw constantly miserable so no one wants to hang around with me so it makes me even more miserable

File: merlin-premier-league-95-album-cover.jpg (23KB, 200x283px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 200x283px

Anyone got any doubles to trade with?

File: 4f4c06308b1410c533f7e909f9f81d54.jpg (117KB, 500x631px) Image search: [Google]

117KB, 500x631px

has anyone ever tangled with a truck boy and came out on top?
maybe it's a right of passage
if you beat a truck boy; you become a truck boy
i'm from the city and my dad drives a prius so i'd have no chance
who could possibly beat a truck boy?

>>36473463
Robothood was always a vicious cycle. I'd drink to you if I wasn't already in bed.
>>36473455
I'm a manlet and still taller than her bf, if that was all it took to win her heart is be balls deep in my waifu

>>36473336
>I reckon if I wasn't such an antisocial fuck I'd probably have a gf

my problem is that i never meet girls or if i do they are in a relationship or i dont like them at all.

i can be anti social sometimes though. never really know what to say to people.

>>36473377
>Because when I'm not depressed and comfortable I'm genuinely funny to be around.

you could probably get a gf quite easily if you tried. women love guys who are funny. i used to be funny but over time my sense of humor has died.

>>36473486
Sorry mate only loads of Swindon.

File: tumblr_lo8kl9LskU1qd2z5to1_500.jpg (54KB, 468x344px) Image search: [Google]

54KB, 468x344px

These lads are basically robots in denial.

File: image.jpg (85KB, 640x640px) Image search: [Google]

85KB, 640x640px

>>36473515
Dealing with the depression and anxiety lad. Slow progress. Thanks though.
>>36473441
Meeting people is so fucking difficult. Actually on the verge of trying internet dating. Is there something that has both young people (like tinder) and some element of seriousness (like ok Cupid etc) ?

>>36473584
They were just trying to get out of the cycle

>>36473584
Don't be mean to my autists

Snorting this time lads. Fuck forgot how awful it is.

>>36473584
Is that robert webb?

Why are most dakis so lewd? I just want to hold my waifu

>>36473587
Booze and coke can eradicate this problem bro m8

File: 68ca73e1437c66541a8b18689e0eee5d.jpg (43KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

43KB, 480x360px

>>36473497
nothing stops truck boys
on foot or in truck
you can only hope to out run them or hide
but nothing stops a truck boy

>>36473647
Harry Enfield and Kathy Burke lad

File: image.jpg (67KB, 858x536px) Image search: [Google]

67KB, 858x536px

>>36473652
If I'm spending that much money I want the fap and the feels

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HNpYrTw0Q4

>yfw when you realise Candice from the movie went on to be Lydia from Breaking Bad.

Call your sleeping patterns lads.

Mine is

>9am - 6pm

>just finished my washing
I'm a real cool dude clearly

>>36473759
Only if you set it to eco friendly

>>36473722
>tfw the guy that starred in get out is parking pataweyo

>>36473784
It's earth day. Of course I didn't

>>36473749
>before tonight
12am - 7am

>tonight
???????

ended up having a 5 hour sleep in the middle of the day for no reason so who knows

>>36473749
About 4am to 2pm. Wish I could bring it back 3-4 hours.