how do i become less of a disgusting slob?

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in college i had a washer/dryer in the apartment but i was still fucking gross. i also smoked weed all day every day. I don't kno how i graduated, but i did, on time, in four years. Not having a washer is not an excuse. I've always been this way and I feel this is who i am. I have serious issues dating back to bullying in childhood from peers and my sister. I also have parents who had kids very late in life and who i didn't relate to. My Dad is a functional autist who has know friends and has his "routines" and shit and who i could be farther from. I fear my mom rode the cock carosel for a long time and, having known my father for a long time, finally decided to marry him (she asked him) and popped out two kids in her late thirties. I am short but uncommonly attractive, which i didn't realize at that time but now i realize people were jealous of me and mean to me because of it.

I have no fashion sense, no connection to popular culture, no connection to my peers. I'm not a complete autist but i have serious issues. This is compounded by the fact that girls do find me attractive but i don't have anything to say to them so it is always so very weird and awkward for me. Sometimes i feel like it would be easier to be fat and ugly because then i would accept the fact that girls find me unattractive. As it is i have to awknowledge that they do in fact find me attractive and if i was just more like other people i would be getting laid all the time. But I'm not. Sorry for sounding like a narcissist, everyone comments that i am a narcissist when i make threads like this but i am just being honest here. I have real issues and need help.

>>36460694
Why your baby blanket? That's like, depressing. Why not an old t-shirt or something?

Dude, listen. You have to give a fuck about yourself before you can expect anyone else to. You're all you've got.

Firstly, keep what you have simple. TV, couch, entertainment. Desk, chair, computer. Bed, nightstand, mattress, sheets. Take one day out of your week and just throw everything you don't need out.

Go get a cheap washing machine, and a cheap dryer. It'll run you a couple hundred bucks, but tell you what, I'm sure you have some junk that somebody'll be willing to buy. Sell it on craigslist, use the money for the appliances.

Vidya is fun, but fuck it all to hell. I've all but stopped playing vidya. It's a waste of time, and it won't help you at all. It's merely you extending your depression rather than helping it.

As for food, buy a dozen eggs each week, 2 loaves of bread, and also (not each week) buy a giant bag of rice, and many different cans of beans. Look up rice and bean recipes, it's all in the spices, and buy either a rice cooker or a pressure cooker, I use the Instant Pot. It's cheap, but it's damn fast. Buy sandwich meats and cheeses, and buy condiments.

For breakfast you'll have eggs and toast. I cook eggs over medium, with some toast and butter. Well, I used to, but I'm strictly no carbs now. Although that's an evolution for later.

For lunch, eat a sandwich

For dinner, like I said, rice and beans. What's great is they're so adaptable to every type of food imaginable. It's delicious, and it's easy. Also good for you, especially if you go with a wild rice type.

Keep your eyebrows trimmed, at least the middle part. It varies from person to person, but I look like a neanderthal if I don't shave the middle, preventing a unibrow. Although, I'm like a quarter slavic, so that's probably why.

Keep your nails trimmed.

Shower every day.

Brush your teeth every day.

Treat yourself like gold. Women are the enemy. Make them beg for you.

>>36460835
With the rice and beans, rinse the canned beans in a colander in the sink. That way it's not salty as shit.

Also, excercise. Simple things like pushups and sit ups every day do wonders for your body and state of mind.

at the very least i have a (shitty) full-time job now and i don't have to take my cats to a shelter (my mom is allergic) and move in with my parents. Now at least i am able to support myself.

When i moved out (for good hopefully) two years ago and burned through 30k of inheritance i literally made a list of things i wanted to achieve. Literally the first thing on the list was to, "not live in filth." Flash forward to like two years later (and four months) and I still live in filth. I also have no friends in the city in which I reside. I moved to the city I went to college in three hours away from where I grew up. All my old friends in other cities either have girlfriends/wives or have moved across the country. I never see or talk to them.

>>36460835
I'd rather killy myself than live like that. The same food every goddamn day? What the fuck is wrong with you holy fuck

>>36460835
>Why your baby blanket

I honestly don't know why. But this was 10-14 years ago so the point is moot. My Mom found it once and washed it for me and folded it perfectly and placed it on my bed. Awkward.

Is it a problem that there are no hookups? I know apartments advertised sometimes say, "with hookups" (in lieu of actual machines).

>Vidya is fun, but fuck it all to hell.

I've been coming to the realization recently that I don't enjoy them. I used to play a lot of sports games (and i used to play halo 3 religously) but now i see it just makes me tense and angry and isn't actually fun, even when I win. My Dad called me out a couple years ago, commenting, that it is supposed to be fun (which it clearly wasn't in this moment. I was high and piping hot mad cursing at the TV). I'm still in an online XBOX 360 college football online league (i have not upgraded) but that is only 1-2 times a week.

>food advice

I have a rice cooker, and when I was doing better last year (though underemployed) i was cooking rice in the bottom and putting ground beef and broccoli and shit in the top portion, and i was sticking to it. I need to get back doing that. Eggs are definitely a go to for me.

> strictly no carbs now.

When I am following my diet i am following this pretty close as well, although I have one serving of rice a day, and I eat sweet potatoes sometimes as well. But A lot of salad based dishes. I have never actually cooked my own beans though i bought some long ago.

>shave the middle

I've been taking care of that. My mom says that if you shave it that it will grow back ferociously and you should pluck instead. but i have taken care of that.

>Keep your nails trimmed.

>Shower every day.

>Brush your teeth every day.

I have been doing this since i started my new job. I certainly wasn't before.

>Treat yourself like gold. Women are the enemy. Make them beg for you.

Thanks for all the advice.

>>36460849
last year i was running almost every day and then finishing with push ups, sit ups and leg curls, and a set of 50 with ten pound weights (and 10 with arm lifts). I must admit i do feel better when i excercise. No use starting to do it again now that i am employed, my excuse used to be "what's the point." I am still skinny because of my body type but that is no reason to not exercise anyway because it does help. I used to run Cross-Country (long distance) in high school.

>>36460903
Well I happen to love eggs and toast, but as far as the sandwiches and beans with rice are concerned, it's highly customizable and can taste different day to day.

>>36461065
No problem man, you sound like a good guy, you just need to keep it together. It's hard. Eggs are so good. Now that I've gone low carb though, I rarely eat over medium eggs, it only tastes good for me with some toast or something like that. I mean, technically I'm eating eggs all the time for breakfast. Since I'm doing low carb (I'm doing Keto, which is essentially an ideal of 5% of your diet being carbs), I make pancakes with a mix of egg anc cream cheese. Sugar-free jelly, peanut butter, and sugar-free syrup and damn do I not miss peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, or pancakes.

>>36460903
live for the weekend and eat tasty shit then. The work week is shitty might as well add to eat and eat the same shit (i guess). Once you get into the routine you forget what real food tastes like. But if you slip up you fall off the wagon completely and don't want to go back. I would have eggs, salad and then rice broccoli and ground beef every day for months for a while now. But i haven't done that for a while but im tryna get back

>>36461215
i got this egg poacher contraption so i make myself 3-4 poached eggs, but they sure would be great with toast. I should prolly just say fuck it and have some nice toasted sour-dough with my eggs. Avocados are also a go to