What is the worst kind of feel, or at least the worst one you felt?

>>36446314
The past does not exist.

The feel of having my face and mouth cut up by wire was up there. But it definitely has to be having surgery and not being given painkillers afterwards. Apparently I was too young so they wouldn't give me anything. Which looking back was incredibly fucked up.

the feel of living your life

The feel of breaking someone's heart

tfw my childhood friend I stayed friends with all these years killed himself 5 monthes ago.

>only friend i had
>i went 7 monthes without talking to anyone besides him and my parents
>would tell eachother anything no matter how objectively pointless it might be/sound
>support eachother while still criticizing one another in order to help the other improve
>basically watch over one another
>would randomly share some cool interesting facts with me
>would show him my art and every other part of me I'd normally wouldn't show anyone because
I fear vulnerability
>would talk to him on the phone at least once a week and we'd talk about how eachother's week went
>he'd always say "don't worry, we'll be okay anon" before hanging up
>tfw it has never been this not-okay
>tfw too much of a pussy to join him

I just want my only friend back

falling in love because you know what's going to happen yet you still have hope like a fool and obsess over her

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>>36446314
Having my heart broken.

Can't get over it

>>36446314
The weight of 15 years of loneliness.

The feeling when you realise that so many things in your life are out of your control due to circumstances you can't change. Genetics, economy, et cetera. Hopelessness and powerlessness.

Alternatively, the feeling of a nerve in my mouth getting infected.

>>36448112
happy 15th birthday lad
now you have to go

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For me it was the realization that no one cared. No one really loved me and no one really hated me. No one would think about me at home, or feel nice talking to me, no one would remember me when i was away, and no one made any effort to talk or be with me. I am always just kinda there and then forgotten.

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today i woke up to someone i've gotten insanely attached and close to over the past 3 months just telling me that they don't want to talk to me ever again. it comes at a moment where i would finally get to see them, too, as they are finally about to visit the states. i will never get an answer why, either. even after telling them over and over about being abandoned before.

why.

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>>36446314
panic attacks. no other feel has come even remotely close.

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It breaks my heart to know that my parents care about me.
They want nothing but the best for me. They've helped provide for me and supported me no matter what I wanted to do. All they want is for me to do what I want to do.
But I don't want anything. I don't care about myself. I'm self-destructive by nature.
I'm constantly letting them down by letting myself down

I'm sorry, Mom and Dad

>>36446314
You're gonna carry that weight for the rest of your life

>>36448216
If he was 15, he'd stll have ol' famalamdingdong unless he was on bad terms with them.

>>36448274
I have a good memory birdo.

Being a KV incel at drinking age

>>36448056
probably this because most bad things in life come after some incarnation of heartbreak such as loneliness, depression, anxiety, paranoia, trust issues, etc.

>>36448274
the feel of people actively despising you behind your back is worse than this

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>I will never be physically attractive
>all the mistakes I made in the past cannot be undone
>I embarassed myself so badly I can never return to my home town
>my family resents me
>I will always be bald and ugly

No matter what I do to improve my appearance I always look ugly and "off".

I've even had groups of trendy people take me on make overs and shopping trips but I just end up looking like a polished turd.

>>36448161
>The feeling when you realise that so many things in your life are out of your control due to circumstances you can't change.
If you think that you have free rein over things that are naturally beyond your control, or if you attempt to adopt the affairs of others as your own, your pursuits will be thwarted and you will become a frustrated, anxious, and fault-finding person.

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Nonexistence. The feeling when you realize you're there but your presence is pointless.

>>36446314
I've felt so many bad feels at this point that I'm not even sure. Back when I used to break down and cry? When I couldn't look anyone in the eyes and felt as if needles were stabbing into every inch of my body when around other people? Or when I felt extremely empty and dead inside? I don't know.

i was hungover af this morning. felt pretty bad desu

>>36446314
When you're just going about your business and you feel kind of ok. Nothing actively terrible is happening to you. Maybe the sun is shining and the sky is blue. Perhaps work wet well today, or you have something to look forward to; a movie you wanted to see, a new videogame, maybe just cooking your favourite meal when you get back home. And just as you start thinking maybe life isn't all that bad you see a couple holding hands and it hits you you're a 29 year old KV who's never been loved and literally everyone around you has a lifetime of tiny moments when they felt bad or were afraid, or unsure or lonely and someone held their hand, or gave them a hug, or a smile or a kiss and they knew it would all be ok.

But you never had that and you probably never will. So each time that great yawning emptiness creeps up on you at 2am it takes a little bit more of you away and you don't quite know how much of you is left. Not much probably.

And who'd miss you'd anyway.

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>the feel of being conditioned from early childhood to always succeed, get the highest grades, only live to study, to work, to get the better job, to make the connections, the climb and climb and climb until you one day realize that you are still just an empty shell of a person that willingly hangs out with NEETs on an anime imageboard and you wonder what it was all for

>>36446314
I realize once my parents are dead that no one is obligated to at least try and care about me. My mother is rip and I very rarely speak to my dad and he's 3 hours away.

I don't not see myself in five years.

>>36449300
Fuck my double negative drunk ass

>>36446314
I had the perfect conditions to talk to a qt from my university classes, chance encounters and everything, but I never managed to say "Hi". Whether it would have worked out or not isn't even the regret, it was the inability to take a first step towards it, and now on the times I visit the university to catch up with some friends, I see her and all those missed opportunities come crashing down.

kidney. stones. pissing. through. dick.

>just be yourself XD
>it'll get better

Haha. The feel of realising some people actually believe this and you'll never be blind to existential crisis

>>36449300
Same. If my parents and brother die before me, I'm almost certainly going to kill myself. Even if they don't, I'll probably get myself killed somehow... make it look like an accident.

>>36446314

I joined the military to help me cure my depression and it hasnt done anything but expose me as a huge beta to a group of chads.

Everyday is humiliating and I now know that what I have isn't fixable. I am considering slashing my wrists and ending it this weekend if I can't find a way out of this predicament and crawl back into the darkness.

>>36449488
I'm slightly relived my family doesn't tend to live long. My extended family hasn't spoken to me at all except for my mom's funeral. If I didn't have roommates I don't think anyone would ever hear about me.

>>36449586
Lucky. My dad has been really healthy, though he has family history of high blood pressure. My mom might have stress related problems in a few years but I don't think anything major.

The bigger problem is that they had me at 16 & 18 years old so I'm 20, and my dad is 38-9. They've got a while. I'm not sure I can outlast them

>>36449649
Proverbially hang in there anon. Hopefully we both can find our peace some day ;_;

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>>36449503
i know this feel. Trust me bro, lock up on the inside and get through it. It's worth it for the government neetbux in the end. i'm serious- you can live forever as a robot on the government's dollar and get veteran discounts if you make it through!
You can do it!
you can do it- seriously! Power through

TL DR; being to im going blind even thou i went thou 2x painfull eyesurgery treatments:
So i was 17 at the time and little me was told i got Keratoconus, and that involves losing ones eyesight over time. I would expect to be half blind at 30...... BUT they had this surgery called CXL, that would stop it from progressing. HOLY SHIT was that horrible. It starts with you laying down. Then they mount you to a metal clamp (the types you see in horror movies). And then a metal piece scratch the outer layer of your eye off. BTW you can still see this, and the pain is horrible. I got this in my right eye. Then about 3 months later, i get told i have to do it in my left i to. OK what you wouldn't you do to not go blind. Then about 6 mouths later i get told the surgery did not do shit and i am still going blind. FML + they cant do shit

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I'm assuming this is non-drug induced (have been through psychosis, not fun).

>be me, 17 and in junior year of high school
>work at Five Guys as my first job
>see my 10/10 also working there
>don't think I have a chance, but talk casual to her anyway
>eventually we hang out once or twice
>one night I kiss her, and I ask her out
>she's nervous because she isn't sure, saying she just recently got out of a relationship
>assure her it's going to work out
>success.jpg

>best relationship of my life
>begin to fall in love
>thoughts of marriage as a possibility in my life 6 months into it

>stop having sex
>she becomes distant
>I'm too stupid and naive to realize anything
>eventually it explodes, and she no longer seems to be interested
>recall going to the park, sitting on a blanket
>she says she doesn't know what to do
>assure her it's going to work out
>just like the beginning

>we break up

>tfw my innocence has been ripped away
>all girls I've been interested in after that have ripped my heart with anxiety
>emotional distancing
>lack of ability to like a girl now
>single ever since
>the end of romanticism
>beta in a Chad body
>everyone says I should be able to get a meaningful relationship but fail every time now

>>36449300
Know the fell, man just me my brother and parents left. Everyone else is dead, at least i did't fell that bad when some of the rest like half the grandparents went because it was kind of normalized by then.

>>36446314
Social anxiety amplified by ritalin comedown.
My head just wouldnt stop, couldnt sleep it off either cause of the ritalin.

>>36450074
same. Once your heart is broken you can never trust a girl again because what you think is their unconditional love is so convincing

>>36449040
>I embarassed myself so badly I can never return to my home town

greentext

When she tried to kill herself on my birthday.

>>36446314

The feeling of knowing that one day I'll lose both my dogs and that it is an inevitable fate I can't escape, and I will be absolutely miserable once it happens.

Fuckin nostalgia & longing to live in another world.

Will always be here and grow stronger with time sadly

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>>36448056
this

onion

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>>36447937
It's okay friend, you still have us. Tell us some stories about him.

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That would be:
>tfw no gf

>>36448056

Give it time and distance and you will, Anon. I promise you. You will.

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>>36448619
Fuck anon, you weren't supposed to post MY worst feel.

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>>36450074
Hey be happy that s still one more archievement than me in the life game....

>>36446314
rught npow famalam
im drunk as shit and lonely S FUCK

iwant to die and i want to kil ymself

God why do I have to feel like this I'm sdo lonely please help

>>36449846

looks like a summoning album cover

ill take ur advice because of this

>>36446314
The feeling when I realized that nobody fucking likes me, the person that I considered my best friend merely tolerated me, and girls avoid me, all for the same reason, my shitty personality. I sat down and made a list of my pros and cons, and I could only think of cons. I realized that I am objectively the worst person in my social circle. I live with this feeling every day for the last year or so. Suicidal thoughts returned after that, the only reason I haven't killed myself yet is because I don't want to hurt my parents more than I have already.

>>36446314
experiencing life by myself

>Very mentally ill
>once every 3 years get a 1 year break tops where my mentall illness suddenly goes away.
>still takes meds, but it doesnt matter because I will psychoticly break randomly
>The psychotic breaks get worse every time
>I want to live happily with SO, but even though you have a good future, living through each 3 year breakdown is too much
>Had a Pseudo breakdown a week ago and still unstable. My SO keeps just leaving to stay with his mom every time Im having a breakdown. He is my life support
>All I feel like is a burden. Im ruining my life and those around me lives because I cant control my illness. Even with extinisive treatment.

The worst part is knowing I cant do this much longer, but I really do want to live. In those Psychotic breaks I lose control and I know I will kill myself, even though I want to live. Im sitting at home alone, and feeling suicidal while SO is hanging out having fun with his bros.

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>>36446314

When you are completely and hopelessly lost. Where you walk through your day in a mental, moral, and emotional fog. You can't tell what's right and wrong anymore. You can't tell if your actions are selfless or selfish anymore. You can't tell what's a step forward or a step backwards. You try to find a way to get out of the fog. You look at others and then inside yourself but you only get more confused. You feel like all your choices are a choice between getting crushed to death or ripped apart; the pit or the pendulum. You want to scream for help but you don't know how to do that either. You don't know if you are broken, weak, or both.

>>36446314
The feeling you get when you know are about to die very soon

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Waking up at 2am and for a brief moment comprehending mortality. Its a fear beyond all else

The feeling I get whenever I realize how fake I am, and the things i'm willing to say to look good in other people's eyes.

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>>36451789
Oh anon, I wish it were that way. All past trophies, medals, and achievements mean nothing after the glorious moment. For every hill you climb, you come across another hill, and you see you only have farther to fall down. Being at the lowest means you have false ideation of what is greater, and to those who have risen from those lows realize that they are still the same person. That is why robots will never be 100% like normies, because normies started off to what we have had to achieve. Sisyphus knows our struggles well.

>>36453250
Oh my god. Those brief flashes where suddenly you understand EVERYTHING (either about a subject, or simply //everything//) are terrifying, yet exhilarating. Fucking fractals, man.

>>36453336
It's called an epiphany.

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>>36446314
The feel that the christian concept of god is real and i am eternally stuck in his cosmic/celestial playpen; like some giant extradimensional sadistic toddle who can bring me into and out of existence at will and watch me suffer for the sheer enjoyment of it. Like a kid and an ant hill is a somewhat accurate analogy. A sort of ultimate entrapment if there ever was one. Freaks me out sometimes

>>36449278
Dude, fuck you. From the bottom of my heart, fuck you. You don't know how good you have it. For hard work to become a habit like that and then later second nature.

>>36446314
>oneitis will probably never feel the same way about me as I feel about her

I'm gonna try tho, it's all about perspective, right?

Fuck fuck fuck

Probably some pretty ugly self hatred mixed with desperation, insecurity and existential dread

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Being ignored or talked over (repetitively) in a conversation.

what did you do to embaress yourself?

>>36453336
>>36453364
Glad I'm not the only one, its the most terrifying and beautiful moments in life. Its like finally seeing behind the vale

>>36453623
I agree completely. We're all just riding the wave.

>>36446314

That feel of lacking masculinity. That feel of knowing you will never be attractive to women because you're a low test, framelet, dicklet beta.

>>36453541
This made me REEEEE
Used to always happen, made me subconsciously develop a stutter and always talk obnoxiously loud tho.
I made it stop by saying little, calling people out when they interrupted me, and making sure the little I had to say was worth hearing.

But it still makes me SO MAD when I or others get interrupted, I honestly want to kill those people

The fact that humans are wishful thinking and look for spiritual meanings to fill the void of death and how meaningless they are in the scale of the cosmos, and how it's apparent the universe gives no fucks about them individually and only cares about the collective survival of the species.if u analyze the world , u will see the purpose is for the strong to survive and weak to die, everything else is subjective human fantasies.

>>36453808
Not really a bad feel, unless you got mindwashed by the Jews into believing your life has to mean something.
But no, go work extra hard and fight in the rat race to compensate, good goyim.

>>36448216
I am 30.

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i really struggle to sleep. if, by some miracle i manage to wake up early & go to bed tired at a reasonable time, i'll wake up at 2/3/4am with intense panic and suicidal thoughts, i've gotten good at dealing with it, but i just yearn for the days of a normal sleep routine. even when i was a wageslave i would never sleep properly.

>>36454332
Ive had that too. Its weird because im totally fine usually during the day. But have had some extreme panics in the muddle of the night randomlt. They have plenty of meds on the market for sleeping though

>>36454332
That's brutal. Sleep deprivation is torture.

>>36454398
>>36454403

yeah it sucks. i have to go to a job interview tomorrow at 8am, so i purposefully slept only 3 hours last night so i would be tired tonight, i fell asleep at 1 and woke up at 1:40 and have been awake since. i probably should try to get medication but i'm always hesitant with that stuff, like there must be a way to deal without tablets? i don't want to become dependent

>>36446314
Probably sitting in my room my whole 20's.

Broke my brain for good lol.

>>36449213

>25
>kissless virgin well on way to becoming superior wizard
>unironic edgelord
>get /fit/ thinking people would actually like me and I'd feel better about myself.
>Realize nothing's actually changed, still hate myself
>Living in parents basement shit posting and circlejerking to anime
>Go to college, lie to all my peers and friends that I actually do stuff and have had relationships before

the worst kind of feel is being alive because I have to live with myself.

>>36450864
But anon, animals don't see death the same way we do. Dogs don't have existential crisises. I fear this day too, but only because I understand death. So long as you treat your pets well they are happy. Give them treats, take them out for walks, clean water, stroke their fur and they will be 100% content with their life. They don't give a shit if they die. They are animals. They just don't want to feel pain, and want to be loved. The truest robots desu

>>36453471
And fuck you for saying "fuck you" to someone who isn't lazy. It's ez to blame the world. Hard to actually change yourself for the better. It's actually not hard at all. Just requires more effort than usual.

Feeling someone you care about slip away, and knowing that one day they'll leave you

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>be in high school
>"Everyone form groups for projects!"
>turn to friend to form group
>he's already grouped with another of my friends and a girl
>turn to other friend
>already grouped with two other people
>end up grouping with the other rejects

also
>hang out fairly often with people I considered best friends
>find out they spend twice as much time with each other and countless other classmates than I do with them
>realize I'm only experiencing a fraction of the social life that everyone else is, even with my best friends

By my senior year of high school my conception of reality fell apart. I thought I had good friends and was "in" with certain social circles but wasn't at all. Everyone else was having sex and going to parties and I was alone. This worsened through college and now I only have one person in life I consider a friend but he's getting married next week and I've still never been on a date.

So that transition from considering myself a normal person to realizing what a outcast I am was rough.

knowing that you'll never, EVER have sex with an attractive young woman.

>>36448056
Total normalfag "feel"
Fuck you.

>>36456127
this desu
What if the attractive young women aren't bitches, but are actually hot AND sweet AND nice and intelligent?

what if chads are getting the nice girls too?

not a good feel

>having my mom love me proportional to my relative amount of success in life


JUST

>>36446314

trying to live life after servitude in the military, finding a woman who is as emotionally traveled as you are in the same age group, and trying to explain why you're stoic and numb to things where others are shocked is constantly a chore and feels depressing to me as time goes

i don't want to talk about politics, i don't care if gay black trannies run rampant in the streets screaming about being oppressed, i don't want to play videogames and mindlessly indulge in brainless television, entertainment or otherwise entertain the idea that the apex of all life is constituted by some religious foundation or pop-culture beliefs which is it not

i have a more draconian perspective of the world and it is justified from witnessed violence and aggression, explaining this to a woman is abstractly difficult to me unless she has been through similar experiences, and at the end of the day all i can do is be silent and humble about it and bide my time on this earth before the lights go out

at this point i just want to buy an acre of land and a prefabricated off-grid house that is independent from state provided utilities, away from the noise of society. I almost had a breakdown going through a shopping mall watching people go this way and that brainlessly ogling their smartphones as they filled plastic bags full of shit they don't even need, but i don't live in the material world mentally or choose to participate in it, if i'm around crowds the migraines get severe and i have to leave the area before my blood pressure spikes too high.

most of the time people view this as cowardice, which is another terrible feeling to be viewed as a coward, when in reality i am only averting these large groups of people and confrontation because my capacity to use violence is greater than theirs and will end in loss of life because i am hard-wired to take down a threat until it stops moving

i'm probably going to alaska

>>36456844
To those who better understand the world, there is less emotional reaction to the fleeting experiences we have. I'm not a vet and not as hardened as you, but I understand your view of mild indifference to the world.

I find it helps to focus on something and give it attention, such as reading, building, or something of labor, whether it be physical or mental.

If you need someone to talk to, I'm here anon.

>>36446314
When she left.

She was from r9k too.
It hurts loving someone who hates you.

>that feel where you've been awake for more than 3 days straight and you're no longer tired, you just feel really funny
It's a weird, paranoid, indescribably feel and it only gets stronger the longer you go without sleeping. Which is hard, because you stop feeling sleepy after a while.

>>36449278
this was me until i just accepted neetness, it feels the same

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>dad is near perfect father who always takes care of me
>dad is best friend who always comforts me, talks to me, plays games with me and is always there for me
>be preteen
>things change, dad begins sexually abusing me
>don't want to tell the police or report him, don't want his life ruined, don't want to lose him
>struggling to understand him, afraid to be home, don't want him to hate me or go away, struggling not to kill myself
>get pulled out of school one day (age 15)
>dad killed himself out of shame and guilt
>left a suicide letter saying he always loved me and he's sorry and I was the only thing that kept him going
But the absolute worst feeling I've ever experienced was
>visit his grave for the first time, 8 years after his death
>walking through cemetary trying to find his gravestone
>turn to left, see I'm standing over it
>legs completely give away and I collapse on the ground and cry in agony as all the feelings come flooding back
>thinking of everything that happened, thinking of how things could have been different, wondering if I could have saved him, wondering why things had to be this way.
>just lying on the ground crying, digging into the grass and dirt with my hands in an emotional storm that I didn't think was possible for a human to experience
I cried harder than I did when he died, I don't know why.

>>36457402
Cry more for me, your tears almost taste salty enough.

>>36457592
If it's you, please take me back.
Just message me on Kik.

I still love you. I'm sorry about everything that happened.

>>36457583
Quality feel there senpai.

I looked up to my father until he abandoned me.

Was a pretty depressing feeling.

>>36446314
The worst feel is having bad feels pile up on you, obtaining temporary reprieve, and then a really minor inconvenience will occur which will make you want to break down.

>>36457721
Dissatisfaction with who you are is also pretty upsetting.

when I woke up from a dream with my wife and realizing it will never be
I searched for her in complex underground ruins filled with obstacles and the climax was me finding her and bawling into her skirt on my knees. her patting the back of my head was the greatest feeling I can recall

I'm sure I have felt worse and with more intensity as a child but I do not identify with my past self

>>36453438
I have a cure for that feel

Its called 'epiphany'

The moment you realise that stuff isnt true youll have a moment of extreme euphoria and you wont know what to do for a while. All youll want to do is break all your loved ones out of the matrix so they can feel that freedom of knowing why nothing ever felt like it truly made sense

and theyll say to you
'whatever anon, god and jesus are definitely real'

and youll just look and them speechless

>>36449036
Varies from person to person, I couldn't care less.

>>36453808
underrated post.

This is why drugs, transgenderism, homosexuality and prison are a thing - to make sure that those unfit cant pass their genes on

>>36446314
the worst feel i ever felt was looking into my father's eyes and seeing a dead, glassy look when he emphatically tried to reassure me that i wasn't a mistake

and then see the light go back into his eyes when he went back to his paperwork

>>36457364
>>36456844

FUCCKKKKKK these mind-blowing feels. This is how Ive felt my whole life

> tfw deep and warranted understanding of life and the universe means nothing phases me
> seen as weird

To the army vet guy it must be insane to come back and just see all of us sedating ourselves with materialism. I want to break out of it but I dont know how

>>36447568
How did this happen if you don't mind me asking?

>>36446314
When I run out of stuff to distract myself with.

>>36458004
You would be surprised that some people understand it low key but continue into materialism. I cope with drug use, but I'm attempting to stop that. I've found myself with more time to think about the meaninglessness of life, and my nihilistic views, then decide again that a drink is better than these feels.

Perhaps past the escapism is a brighter picture..

>>36448619
This. I completely relate, anon. They'd be fine if I did nothing, they just love me. And I'm failing them by not being greater somehow.

When I kept telling my daughter she would be okay, even though I knew she wasn't going to make it.

>Start dating girl in high school
>Things are going great, think I've found my soul mate
>A few days away from 1 year anniversary
>Take her to prom
>Ends up eyeing chad friend we've both been friends with for a while
>Cheats on me with 2 other guys
>Forces me to end the relationship
>Immediately starts dating chad
>Ruined my self esteem, still had to see her everyday at school
>Ruined my innocence and trust
>She tries to be friends months after the relationship
>Completely shut her down
>Tell her to leave me the fuck alone
>Turn out as miserable as ever
But at least I stuck up for myself r-right?

>>36456127
$$$ solves that issue anon

>>36449040
>>I embarassed myself so badly I can never return to my home town
gonna need a greentext anon

>>36446314
>walking through the black of night
>bruised forehead and slight concussion
>realizing I will almost certainly go to prison for armed assault
>contemplating whether it would be worth tossing the weapon or not
>thinking about how I could possibly fuck up my life so quickly
>all while attempting to appear strong in order to comfort my younger brother

I ended up being alright, but it was a hell of a night, I was basically going into shock.

>>36446314
Telling my family that I would never give them a grandchild.

>>36458958
Alone and miserable will always be a better alternative to cucked and miserable. Remember that anon

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>>36446314
>had gf
>i did not feel much just warms when i hugged her
> she starts to notice i dont don't show emotion
>for a good 6 mouths she trys every thing to ge me to feel
>after the 6 mouth i just realized she was trying to hurt me now buy using words like "gay" and "week"
>that fucking feel then the only thing what makes you feel warm, is now try to hurt you
TO GET YOU TO FEEL :c

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>>36449266

you got me with that one senpai

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>>36446314
Being in love with a lesbian
I was literally fucking numb for 3-4 months after she told me. That part of my life is 100% blank. I remember almost nothing.
Except a final exam I took in Art History. Took it the day after she told me. Got 100% on a 120-question test. Took me fifteen minutes. The questions barely registered in my mind. I was literally like a robot. Went home, curled up and faded into oblivion for 2 weeks over break.

>>36459985
What did you do anon?
origamino

>>36458902
Fuck off normalfag
This is an original post

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>>36446314
>16
>in car with sister
>she 18 with license so she can drive me home
>always ask her for her perspective/advice when im in the car alone with her
>suddenly a question that i know is taboo pops in my mind
"Hey Alex, how do you think our dad feels about his marriage."
>sister suddenly carries a sense of dread in her voice
"Don't bring that up."
"But, do you think he is happy?"
"Once when me and mom went to LA when i was 8, she told me that she was gone for three months while we were babies because she wanted to divorce dad."
"Oh..."
>realize the implications of this statement
>our mom abandoned us for 3 months to have an affair
>me and my sister were raised by Opears (long term baby sitters) that caused my intense connection problems because she wanted to have an affair
>my dad must of also figured this out
>feel the worst feeling of dread, sadness, and pity i ever had in my life

because of that car ride i can never fully trust women and have resented my mom from ever having anything to do with my life if i have the ability to

this experience did make me respect my dad a lot more though

>>36460199
>be 17 years old
>hanging out with three friends my age, and my 13 year old brother in public park at sundown
>two other teenagers come up and start insulting us for no reason
>tell them to fuck off
>they leave
>they come back a few minutes later with around 8 extra guys
>oshit.png
>start beefing us, obviously trying to start a fight
>pull out pocket knife, concealed in the palm of my hand in case they all try to jump us at once
>the first one to insult us gets real close, screaming obscenities in my face from a foot away
>he tries to sucker punch me but winds up retardedly slowly
>tackle him before he lands his blow
>struggle on the ground for a second, but end up on top
>end up beating his face in with the butt of the pocket knife that was still in my hand
>his friends are all too pussy to do shit
>I get up, tell him and his friends to go home, absolutely bewildered and unsure of what to do
>friend tells me "Just go, I'll handle it." and I start walking off
>other guy gets up, stumbling all over like a retard, obviously concussed
>he shouts "you hit me like ten times and I didn't hit you once! That's not very fair!" with slurred words and stuttering
>sucker punches me in the right side of my forehead
>I tell him "Wow, that was real cruel" and just keep walking off into the night
>younger brother joins me while our other friends stay behind
>get far away enough, think we're in the clear
>brother gets text from mom
>some faggot in that group recognized my brothers face, and they went to our fucking house looking for us
>realize I'm most likely going to go to prison for armed assault
>consider tossing the knife, but it would be pointless with so many witnesses
>brother and I go back to our house
>faggot I beat up is waiting in the driveway, saying some shit about how he's gonna call the cops

>>36460323
>my father comes out of the house, mad as fuck, yells in the kids face
>father and I end up driving to that kids house
>talk to his stepdad, who is a good guy stuck with a retarded son
>both fathers agree not to call the cops

If the cops were called I definitely would have been charged for assault with a deadly weapon, self defense laws in Canada are pure shit.

>>36460277
I really think the ultimate redpill is realizing that your mom is just as awful as any other woman. Stomach-turning.

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>>36448023
>tfw I knew this from the start when I started falling for her
>tfw still ending up emptyhanded and brokenhearted months later

>>36448056
>tfw you don't get the chance to get broken up with or even rejected
>tfw having to move on knowing you'll never tell her how you felt about her and wondering if things could've turned out differently somehow

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>>36460352
i personally think my mom is more awful than many of the other girls out there

i hope i can find 1 that likes me that isnt like that

they also say that you are usually attracted to somebody that is like your opposite sex care taker, but when i was younger i was actually raised by Opears for years 0-5 (the reason we started using them was because of my moms affair shit) so i hope that im attracted to the people that raised me more than i am attracted to my mother

>>36446314
Having a crush and then hear her talking about boys she likes

>>36446314
When i was 15 and i found out my 16 year old ex gf was fucking a 25 year old man

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That I cannot and will never be able to truly connect with people. It's not really that bad of a feel, but it's hollow and that kinda worries me, I'm 99% sure I'm schizoid.

A more straightforward one is when my dog died.

>>36446314
being abandoned by (((((((friends)))))))

Despair. Imagine being that guy who has no friends at school, just getting by through the grades with average scores, noone cares about you, the only thing that makes you not totally miserable is the home that you go to and then your parents die. There's nothing to fall back on, despair consumes you, noone to help you and it'll be even worse when you get your bottom tier job.

The following worst feels are interconnected or experienced seperately.

>Your best efforts not paying off.
>Being bound to people you can not stand, (employment, marriage, family, etc.)
>That feel of decaying relationship but, they don't want to end it thereby forcing you to do so.
>Attempting suicide but, failing.

If I had to pick one it would be failing suicide attempt but, friendzoned is a close second.

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>>36460277
iktf anon. my mother cheated on my dad first

then my dad had an affair with my (then) best friend's mom. after that they split up

>>36461416
I think the first one hits me the hardest. The feel when an opportunity for you presents itself, and it's
one of the few times you really want this thing, and you fail horribly... That keeps me up at night

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I tried to be better
I tried to be normal
I tried to get a girlfriend
I tried to be happy
I tried to get fit

All i get in return are the people i thought cared about me telling me i am a monster and they don't want to ever talk to me ever again.

All everyone i care for does is abandon me when i need them most!!!!
I am so so alone.

I got smarter
I got a job and my coworkers like me
I started talking to a guy that i thought liked me
I was happy
I was working out
I got abs!!!
And he just thew me in the trash!!!!

>>36461574
are you a dude? are you bi? im so confused by you saying you tried to get a girlfriend and then say "started talking to a guy that i thought liked me"

>>36446314
im not sure but one things for sure im really tired of having the left side of my brain tingling as fuck and feeling weak everytime it encounters stress. it then happens for days and it's crippling like crazy. i made myself sick a couple times because of some emotionally overwhelming sick garbage.

>>36461658
Gay dude
Surpresed homosex
Family still doesn't know

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>>36456120
>realize I'm only experiencing a fraction of the social life that everyone else is, even with my best friends
Are you me? The worst part to me was how late i found out. It was in the last semesters of high school and by then it was just too late to form meaningful friendships.

>>36448287
>even after telling them over and over about being abandoned before.

That probably did it, it's tiresome and too much pressure on the average person.

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>>36450074
Go fuck yourself normie

in an original way

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Truly realizing that I was in all likelyhood going to spend most of my life alone, back before I built up all the immunity and ability to see the bright side that I have now.

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>>36460886
I know this feel, I second that this is the worst feel.

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the worst kind of feel is not feeling at all

i haven't had a real spur of emotion in more than a decade

even my hormonal impulses are weak, timid nudges at this point

people say that anti-depressants make you into a zombie, but what's the cure when your default state is a stale grey malaise?

>>36446314
When my mother speaks. I remember it use to be like being stabbed in the soul when she spoke.

>>36453541
Both my parents do this constantly to me!

Gee I wonder why Im schizoid.

>>36460461
No, even Im not that sick in the head.

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>Tfw getting caught in your lie

Holy fuck this is the worst feeling.

>>36457892
And yet, prison niggers have 8 children with 5 different baby mamas, drug dillers have an endless supply of women On their cock. Fuck you.

Realizing I could dissapear and besides making a few people cry nothing would really change

Also had the worst acid trip once and thought i was going to die, i felt genuine horror from that and for some reason it gave me the ability to make a blank expression (Like instantly switch from laughing to blankface and not being able to laugh again)

>>36456844
Completely serious here, anon. Try starting up gardening. Growing plants is so incredibly calming. You get to build things up rather than tear them down. You participate in helping to create, to bring new life into this world. On top of that, the plants are oftentimes extremely beautiful. They provide happiness to all those around them. If and when you start to get really into the hobby (it's pretty fun, and you may find yourself spending a lot more time with it - a very GOOD thing!), try planting some fruits, vegetables, and spices. Eating something which you've created from a small seed, dirt, care, and effort is one of the most amazing experiences out there. I legitimately think we're hardwired to derive pleasure from this, which is probably how we got started with agriculture (or vice versa haha!). It's just a really good kind of feel. When you start to get to the REALLY late/advanced stages of the hobby, you may even find yourself planting trees, grape vines, and that sort of thing. Plants which take years, or even decades to fully grow and mature. And you'll realize at that point that you're no longer planting them for yourself, but rather for people in the future, humanity as a whole, so that they can derive some enjoyment from them. So a couple can have a picnic in the shade of a tree, so that a small child can attach a tire swing to one of its branches, so that an old man or woman can put up a birdhouse in memory of his or her recently deceased spouse. It's things like that which will start to bring you true joy, peace, and serenity. It's a feeling unmatched by very nearly anything else. You've spent a good portion of your life dealing with fast, unpleasant things. There's a reason they tell people to stop and smell the roses. If you slow down every once in a while and really CONNECT with nature as I've described, I swear to whatever or whomever you'd like, it will bring about an incredible and fundamental change in your life.

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>>36446314
The feel of extreme depression. You feel completely empty and dead inside. If something good or bad happens it does not affect you. You are in a constant state of numbness, dullness, and emptiness and you seek for an escape out of your body so that you can actually feel something but you can't. You're trapped in this state with no way out. This realization fills you with even more dread.

>>36446314
>Lying on my back in cow-shit with my webbing tugging on my rib-cage, listening to the static over the radio, feeling the dampness of the air and the ground, my legs sore aching from 10 hours of non-stop movement through dense bush, choking the straps of my pack.

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>>36453808
>and how it's apparent the universe gives no fucks about them individually and only cares about the collective survival of the species
>and only cares about the collective survival of the species

That second part. Where on earth did you get that from?

>>36462256
tfw u just think they're scum now and avoid them and u found a new group of friends but they phsyically abuse u sometimes so it's just bouncing between introvert bipolar and overly happy cunt that gets beat up

>>36448311
This; or night terrors

>>36447391
This is a great feel what are you talking about?

>>36446314
when you're under the blankets and you fart. the smell is a mixture of rotten eggs, shit, and sauteed brussel sprouts. you are trapped in this enclosed space left to suffer as you take a whiff of this poisonous mixture for a few seconds. you try and brush it off. you think the smell will go away but it does not, for it only becomes stronger and fogs your entire senses until you cannot take it anymore. you quickly release yourself, jump out of bed, run across the room, and take a deep breath of fresh oxygen as you gradually come back to life. for a second you feel relieved that you survived such a traumatic event you imposed on yourself. but afterwards the reality sinks in. you are filled with disgust with yourself because your body created such a dangerous concoction that is so horrendous it has the potential to kill millions. although you lack the motivation, at this point you know you must improve your diet before you unironically suicide from your own ass bomb.

She blocked me and our mutual friends

I was not even trying to be her boyfriend thought I was making a second real friend in life

>>36462274
Other, better drugs. Trust me, been there. Still am lmao. I'd recommend opioids if you actually want to feel something GOOD. I won't sugarcoat it; you'll probably get addicted to them and """ruin your life""" - but when the alternative is killing yourself (about a thousand times over), then I'd say it's the smart choice. It's what I did/am doing, and at least I feel SOMETHING now.

Hope

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