Describe your ideal partner. What are they like?

>>36429941
they are CUTE
CUTE!

>>36429941
Real, as in real nigga. I got that jungle fever famalam.

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>>36429941
>is asian or white
>has a lower iq than me
>shorter than me
>will do drugs with me
>whill watch hipster arthouse flicks with me
>will just lay on the ground in the park with me
>has an innie

>white
>loves bjs
>lives near me
>doesn't care that I'm a crazy/ugly robot
>has his own place so I can visit him in private

>>36430081
are you female(female)?
and if so, where are you from

>>36430110
This thirsty faggot wasted no time scampering out of the woodwork, huh.

>>36430081
>loves bjs
you mean giving them?

>>36430110
no I'm male, I don't think females like BJs

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>>36429941
>this, literally just this.

>>36429941
>kind
>hard-working
>optimistic
>likes children
>freckles
>not obese
doesn't exist ;^)

>>36430164
I do, are you interested?

>>36429941
>dark brunette hair
>short to medium height
>slightly nerdy, enough to enjoy and talk about similar things
>creative, likes to draw, write, play music/sing
>blushes easy
>dresses cute
>likes peace and quiet
>loves snuggling and holding hands
>sweet, kindhearted, gentle, loving, patient, trustworthy, supportive
>smart enough to think for and stand up for herself
>secretly super submissive, loves being tied up and likes pretending to be my damsel in distress

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They look like this, always there for me, and probably the only woman who cared when no one else did.

>>36430265
Obese okay?

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>>36429941
A female who was genetically engineered to love like a man,to be as loyal as a man and to be as intelligent as a man. that is all I want from a female but still have the body of a female. also to be genetically engineered not to have hypergamy because that is what causes women to be gold diggers and to cheat.

>is 3D
>Has a vagina
>Likes playing vidya, even if she's not that good
>Smart
>Funny
>Cute
>Loyal
>Attracted to me

>>36430381
So a lesbian?

A female clone of myself that doesn't require too much attention.

>>36429941
>Shy and a little awkward; maybe even autistic
>Likes anime + if speaks Japanese and cuddles
>Smart but not too smart
>Will eat the food I cook together with me and draw shit
>Tall, chubby, and hairy
>Short hair
>Probably a 4-6/10 on conventional scales

>>36429941
I'll tell you if I meet her.
I really don't know what I want or need.

I might be gay.

>>36429941
There was a wisecrack video about tinder and how people filter things. You end up erasing the chance of love to spring up from places you didn't expect

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>dresses kind of conservatively/traditionally
>a bit demure acting, but internally more headstrong and confident
>some kind of an artist
>introverted, but not entirely opposed to doing stuff when we feel like it
>good taste in film, literature, music (obviously that's subjective, but for me essentially just means actively engaging with the material)
>doesn't take being alive too seriously
>will listen to me play my music

I find a lot of features beautiful as far as physical stuff goes, but I guess I do really like curly hair on girls and since I'm a manlet it'd probably be better if they were short.

too bad I'm a fuck up and will never find a girl like this who would also be into me.

>>36430423
nope because a lesbian as hypergamy and why this phenomenon happens.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lesbian_bed_death

they are waiting to for the other female to be the breadwinner.

>>36430455
wants a 6 but is a 3

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Why do you guys want a Tomoko?
Wouldn't you want the person you like to be happy?

>Masculine and thin yet naturally beautiful and glowing face, like that of a 90's skatergirl
>Brunette hair with natural blonde hair lights, always in a ponytail
>Thick AF. a small waist and tits huge enough to get a breastjob from, but the hips, ass, and thighs totally blow them both out of the water
>Coffee house clothing style
>center-left, national libertarian politics, intellectual and a good debater, helps me out when debating with others
>Educated on memes
>Big on cartoons, movies, and vidya, minorly into fishing, hiking, music, and anime.
>Musically reactionary. Hates synth, techno, ect. Pretty much into anything else though and is good at recommending songs to people
>loves to cook and clean for others, knows her way around a wrench
>Motherly, helpful, and kind. wants either a huge family or none at all
>lucrative, low stress job with good hours, willing to put up with a NEET
>Same height as me
>Loyal and Clingy, scared of fame
>Virgin, shaves
>Funny as hell
>Blunt and honest with people
>Loves cuddling, being groped, being tugged on, and spooning
>shares my sick, sick fetishes without liking the more normal sick shit like BDSM or toys
This is all 100% just a checklist for a made up waifu. I'd pretty much date anyone.

>quiet
>high sex drive
>no friends
>isn't fat
>likes animals but not to the point she won't eat them
>misses me while I'm at work
>sends me lewds every morning
>texts me cute things daily

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>>36429941
some misguided 18teen who wants to drink and watch movies and neet around. I want her to now be shy If i want to lick her ass and drink her piss. I want her to just relish in the disaster we call life.

>>36430455
asl, anon-kun?

>>36430550
19 year old britbong male who really should get to bed.

>Cisgender female, non of that trap/trans shit
>white
>cute face
>big tits
>round, spankable booty
>perfect feet that smell wonderful after a long day
>great sense of humor

doesn't seem like too much to ask for

>ginger
>very smart (can be smarter than me, but doesn't have to be)
>likes vidya
>has the same political ideas like me
>small, thin and shaved
>not very empathic
>manners
>Good taste of humor
>some kink (except for shitting, pissing or cutting)
>non religious
>the same age as me (+/- 2 years)
>metalhead
>stylish wardrobe
>isn't against drugs (but not a junkie)
>very kind and nice to people (especially me of course)

>>36430391
hey I match this one! Do you want an online gf?

>>36430363
h-how big are we talking?
I like girls smaller than me so I can at least feel like a man and I'm only about 150lbs

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>is pretty
>is intelligent
>is not a slut
>has no personality disorders
>has an interesting life

Basically a unicorn

>>36430691
closer to 200, so too big

>>36430622
Where do you live? Sounds like you're close enough to what a lot of robots want.

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>pretty
>doesn't need to identify as liberal or conservative, just can't be a feminist, a sjw or be a slut
>is intelligent or at least doesn't act like a dumb bitch
>kind
>feminine, girlish
>is supportive
>elegant, has a sense of class and knows how to behave properly
>could be irreligious(without bashing religion) although it would be way better if she was a christian.
>has a sense of culture and heritage. Doesn't need to be a nazi waifu

>>36430893
Thanks for the advice tripfag, but a lot of "robots" are just teenage newfags who wouldn't actually settle for a fembot.

>>36430622
yes i do, potentially irl if you live close enough

>>36431091
irl? where do you live then? and something I can use to contact

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>Big Tits.
>Loves cuddles, snuggles, hugs.
>Kind but not a pushover
>Not a big spender, saves money
>Not super politically active.
>Won't cheat on me.
>(bonus) into lactation

I know this girl doesn't exist. But I still dream.

>>36430265
this type of girl is out there anon. i knew her

>>36431219
can you introduce me to her?

>>36431188
Wish I had a tittycow gf into lactation too

>>36430988
>can't be a feminist

you just eliminated 99% of the female population

>>36431242
How long are you going to be on? I plan on making a lactation thread later.

>>36429941
>works out (lifting, not running)
>can have intelligent conversation
>(preferably) has an alright looking face
>takes care of her hair
>has sexy smelling pheromones that really get me going

i need someone who can be my gym buddy and enjoy talking about weird ideas and doesnt have a history that indicates that she'll leave me in a month

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>5'11"
>black hair with cut bangs that she always wears up in a ponytail
>big thick eyebrows that make her look serious all the time
>big round blue eyes
>ghostly pale skin
>pear shaped figure with wide hips and thick thighs
>quiet and reserved
>generally disinterested in most hobbies/sees them as a waste of time
>has a single old book/movie/song she's obsessed with
>stoic for a woman
>apolitical but hates liberals and liberalism in its entirety
>prude as a nun to the point of getting angry or flustered
>generally hates being around people or in public
>gormless but never makes a fool of herself
>loves watching the rain
>doesn't need saving and isn't looking to save anyone, she just wants a partner to experience the fundamentals of life with together
>prioritizes motherhood and raising our 6 children above all else, including me

I'd die for something like that

>>36431323
And I thought my milk maid fantasy was hopeless.

>>36431266
Probably going to sleep now sorry bud

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>>36431234
she would not online date anyways.

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Pretty much

>Do not weigh more than I do (200lb)
>Does not watch reality tv shows
>Enjoys talking
>Not too smart not too dumb
>Low expectations

God damn I just want my own Misaki.

>>36431348
Bummer dude. Hopefully you can partake some day.

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>>36430594
>looks similar to pic related
>Catholic or willing to convert
>mediterranean culture
>younger and shorter than me
>petite thin body with nice breasts
>nice feet, hands and lips
>feminine voice
>shy/sweet personality
>hates unecessary rudeness
>can be verbally aggressive to defend herself or others
>hates gossiping, bullying and belittling of others
>dresses well
>good hygiene
>dislikes dirtiness and is organized
>isn't tattooed
>doesn't smoke or snore
>doesn't eat with her mouth opened
>is disgusted by farting and burping
>doesn't care about politics
>doesn't care about celebrities
>is annoyed by americanism
>is annoyed by "sexual liberation"
>would never wave a rainbow flag
>likes children, dogs and rainy days
>has good musical taste
>enjoys my interests
>can laugh in stressful situations
>enjoys/understands my sense of humor
>isn't triggered by my swearing
>is as loyal as I am
>is very attached to me
>doesn't want me to be clean-shaven
>doesn't mind me being a lanklet
>doesn't want me to become muscular
That would be ideal ;_;

>>36431494
l meant to quote OP.

>>36429941
Loving me and not being imaginary.

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Here's mine.

>bright blue or green eyes
>dirty blonde hair or ginger
>freckles
>has some european, indian, or spanish accent
>from a foreign country so i can learn about her culture
>decent height. not a femlet or model tier height
>skinny, but chubby is okay too. just not obese
>hairy
>carying, loyal, likes listening to me and my problems without thinking im less of a man
>cuddles all the time
>loves me unconditionally. but not clingy. she knows when to give me space without me telling her or getting offended
>wants 1 or 2 kids
>wants to be married
>had less than 3 sexual partners before me only from committed relationships that lasted longer than a year (starting to realize virgins are too unrealistic in this day and age)
>understands me
>doesnt judge me. i can be myself 100% without criticism
>same hobbies and interests, but also some im not into so i can learn new things
>has a useful STEM bachelors degree at least
>loves to watch documentaries

D-does she exist...?

>>36431550
>D-does she exist...?
Well...
>bright blue/green eyes, dirty blonde/ginger hair
>indian accent
Anon, I...

>>36429941
>cute
>straight-edge but can be lewd with
>kind and caring, lots of snuggling
>anything but black

this is my most ideal partner

>nice and kind
>loves me for whatever reason
>dickable

Ok what is with these drawn out hyper specific fantasies? Isn't this just setting yourself up for failure or disappointment?

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>>36431340
It's an "ideal" partner thread, asshole. Now go fuck yourself

>>36431494
This is ideal for me too. Minus the catholic part. How are you catholic yet you swear?

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>>36431593
See pic related. Rare but it exists.

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>>36431622
idgaf motha fuckah

>tall 6'+
>big tiddies G+
>fierce look that stirrs loins
>cruel with soft side
>legit cruel not some bitch with ego problems or some larper
>slightly smarter than me
>loves slow cuddly sex
>knows my faults and can work around them
>not emotional unless it comes to rship
>forever loyal to point of suppressed obsession
>great chemistry and can maintain a playful dynamic


Women like this don't exist, if they do the body is not there or vice versa.

>>36429941
>east asian
>smarter than me
>equal height
>blue eyes (will never exist)
>right winged
>watches anime
>shoots guns
>yandere
>red pilled

>>36431715
>east asian
>blue eyes

why have an obviously impossible fantasy?

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>>36431623
I never swear around others but I swear a lot A LOT when I'm by myself and I'd love to feel very comfortable around my partner and not having to resist swearing when I stub my toe.

>taller than me, skinny or average weight
>dark hair and light eyes
>virgin
>intelligent
>can make me feel secure
>doesn't mind me being clingy or quiet
>wants to get married and doesn't mind waiting till we're married to have sex
>introvert but willing to spend lots of time with me
>doesn't drink much or do drugs

>>36431700
I hate you so much

No shit that wasn't original

bigjail

>>36431817
>taller than me
cuck

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>>36431752
Anon just let him dream. I guaranteed that no one in this thread is ever going to get their ideal partner, at least the physical aspects of them.

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>gay, feminine bottom
>short and skinny virgin
>maybe has body image issues
>picky eater, doesn't eat much
>doesn't drink, smoke or do drugs
>always follows the rules
>dislikes confrontation
>doesn't like upsetting people
>doesn't like going outside
>doesn't like talking to people
>but, likes talking to me a lot

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Just like >pic related

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>>36429941
Just calm, has a sense of humor, and likes good music. Humility, hygiene and kindness too.

Not too overweight. Darker features preferred. Easy to speak to - likes conversation.

>wont drag me around to normie shit like parties
>will be content with just chilling at home with me
>not deformed
>laughs at my jokes
>doesnt mind silence
>enjoys rain

>>36431656
Doesn't look ginger to me...

>>36431949
>implying I will ever get this irl anyways
She would look good with dyed blonde hair though. It's 2017. You can change a lot of features about yourself.

White
Woman (Female)
Decent looking
Not fat
Has to have 100+ iq

>>36431989
>Has to have 100+ iq
Enjoy getting cucked like there's no tomorrow.

>>36430081
>>36430165
Where do you live?

I'm probably not near you...

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>tfw no optimistic, upbeat and occassionally cheeky gf
I'm a sad and broken man, I need someone to smile at me like pic related.

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Yuno but a bit older, of course.

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why do all of you want white women so bad? you do realize she will age like milk right?

>>36429941
good major, good grades
has drivers license
no social media
into at least beginner metal or hard rock
short, at least 5'8
preferably thicc or pear shaped, but chubby is cool too as long as she's not over 250 lbs

that no social media factor is the only big one though

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>>36429941
My height
Short haircut
Green eyes
Good shape
Nice jawline
Freckles are a plus

(Want a woman who will produce children that are like me but better)

Personality wise.. high energy, talkative, understanding and cooperative. I don't care about her political beliefs as long as she's not into that sexual liberation stuff.

>Tfw I'm decent looking and could probably get a girl like this if I didn't enjoy manipulating people and was more confident

>>36432038
Forgot to say this:
>tfw no qt yandere gf
Do they even exist? If so, how do I acquire one?

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>>36429941

>tfw no literate redhead painter research partner arcade fire fan GF

>>36431087
Lucky for you I'm pushing 30, and have very low standards.

>>36429941
They have to be decently attractive, and rather intelligent. I like girls with blue eyes. The size of their ass/chest doesn't matter too much, but it is an added bonus. She has to be right leaning, and can't hate dogs or guns. Race doesn't really matter too much, but I'm mainly attracted to Asian and white women.

>>36431494
>shorter than me
>doesn't mind me being a lanklet
Is this why manlets exist?

>>36431869
kek yeah ok

>>36429941
>male
- any age above 18 and below 29
- has a sex drive as high as mine
- open-minded, easy to converse with, doesn't mind dissenting opinions
- cares about me
- loves me

>female
- any age above 18 and below 29
- has a sex drive as high as mine
- open-minded, easy to converse with, doesn't mind dissenting opinions
- cares about me
- loves me
- isn't a filthy trap

>thicc, hourglass/womanly shape
>heart of gold, very kind and compassionate
>loyal
>shy/introverted, insecure, but down to earth and easy-going
>likes books/reading but isn't hyper-intelligent or snobby
>artistic/creative
>not very ambitious or worldly
>likes cooking
>likes nature/outdoors, likes animals

>male
>at least 22 y.o. (I'm 21)
>legitimately quiet (not just shy, he simply doesn't like talking)
>emotionally independent, doesn't need to hang out with me a lot
>takes care of his appearance, grooming, dressing well, etc. (but not too much)
>ascetic, doesn't partake in too many "fun" things
>doesn't care about what women think of him, has never spent time, energy, or money towards impressing a girl
>hasn't had a serious relationship in the past
>doesn't have a hobby that involves consumption (e.g., listening to movies/reading books/watching movies)
>reasonable
>capable of understanding abstract ideas and principles
>hard sciences major, but not the kind that dismisses all non-STEM subjects
>looks tired all the time/has that heroin-chic look
>is attracted to me

basically the male version of me, which unfortunately I'll never find

>>36429941
In no particular order:
>Intelligent
>Kind
>Patient
>As good looking as me or better
>Cares about themselves and others
>Believes in magic

>>36431602
>/r9k/
>ideal
Where do you think you are?

>>36432050
>implying we won't
>implying aging like bacterium won't keep her trapped
Honestly, ain't even care about race. Just need to plant my seed.

>>36432125
They do exist, but they're never attached to betas they'd just end up murdering before they even fuck, because the beta won't mount them against their will.

>>36432358
How much do you weigh? This is all that matters to a man.

>>36432432
Let's assume I'm not a beta. Then how do I acquire one?
>inb4 "if you browse r9k, you're a beta"

>>36432490
I weigh around 90-95 pounds

>>36432358
i fit most of those. got a contact?

>>36432599
lol I don't want an online r9k boyfriend who would legitimately want to start something with someone they met on this board

>>36432571
This is ideal to 90% of men. You'll do just fine.

>>36432629
Smart too. I like you. Best of luck finding your dream bf.

>>36432358
sounds like my perfect guy, except I'd want to spend a lot of time together even if it's doing nothing in particular

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>5'0
>chubby but mainly bottom-heavy, with maybe a bit of tummy
>decent tits
>soft features but not fat-faced
>brown hair, blue eyes
>is mainly cute, not sexy, but has the ability to be if she wants to
>likes anime (no plebshit)
>bisexual so we can share cute girl images
>shares my political views, or at least is against tumblrshit
>wants to have a family at some point
>around 130 IQ
>is into drawing to mirror me being into writing
>is shy and has a bit of anxiety so we understand each other's problems better
>is working on her own career goals
>virgin so we can be the only people we've ever been with until we die

Pic related

>>36432629
>doesn't have a hobby that involves consumption
>capable of understanding abstract ideas and principles
wow you sound boring. no wonder you don't have a bf

>>36432629
ouch, alright then.

>>36432629
what an absolute retard

here's hoping you stay alone forever, no man deserves your terrible company

>>36432654
i've seen you post that pic before oh lord

>>36432634
cool

>>36432643
thanks anon! (assuming you're not being patronizing)
you too

>>36432678
I am suuuuper fucking boring, you are 100% correct. no sarcasm

>>36432680
you should have some more self-respect anon, if you do fit all those criteria then you're a total catch and shouldn't be willing to settle for a girl who is willing to give out contact info over r9k

>>36432686
I don't really disagree with this, I'm pretty aware that guys tend not to like me

>>36432698
D-do you like her?

>>36432740
you seem stupid with delusions of intellect

not boring

just stupid

and craving attention

>>36432778
I think I can be boring and stupid at the same time anon, might as well make it a two-for-one insult while you're at it

could you tell me how to improve?

>>36432686
>gives him contact info
"REEEE ROASTIE ATTENTION WHORE"
>resisting giving him contact info
"Oh...well...DIE ALONE BITCH"

What the fuck is this?

>>36432761
she looks funny anon. look at her man im laughing my ass off. she does look cute in an ugly way though!

>>36432808
how can i meet you?
i won't mention r9k at all irl.

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>>36429941
Looks:
>my age group (17-20)
>cute nerd aesthetic
>thin with small breasts and butt
>tall (5'10"-6')
>pale

Persoanlity:
>smart+knowledgeable, preferable more than me
>funny
>loyal
>top tier bantz
>submissive (but ACTUALLY submissive, not some roastie that says she is but then refuses to do anything you tell her)
>respects alone time
>emotionally reserved, but willing to cry with me when she (or I) need to
>has a sexuality, but isn't a cockslut
>shaves her legs but not her bagina
>not against drugs but stays away from frequent use
>politically moderate on either side, won't break up with me because I dont like Trump/Bernie
>virgin, but not saving herself (we wait until we know we really love each other to have sex)

When it comes to non-ideal requirements though, I only ask for:
>not fat
>not slutty
>likes me back

Luckily I'm going to college in NYC so these types are easy to find

;__;

>>36432808
post less on r9k and spend more time reading joyce mishima gide soseki arno schmidt beauvoir and camus (LOL good joke)

>>36432686
>halfway intelligent fembot refuses to give contact info to orbiters
>REEEEE STAY ALONE FOREVER FUCKING SLUT

fuck off, faggot

>>36432830
thirsty virgin nerd freak kill yourself

>>36429941
>male
>taller than average, but not too tall
>not too fit, not fat, not skinny
>brown hair, messy and at the longer end of "short" (as in if he puts a hat on, most of it is covered, but still long enough to be messy)
>if facial hair, then a well-trimmed beard and stash
>hazel or greenish eyes
>MUST: happy trail
>penis size doesn't really matter to me

>>36432830
meet me @ times square, noon tomorrow. I'll be the one in a red hat

>>36432879
>joyce
can't stand stream-of-thought writing, it makes my head hurt
>camus
actually I love camus, and in fact if you look at my original post I am basically describing meursault

haven't heard about the others though

>>36432898
if u think she's halfway intelligent then u r not even quarter way there my dude

>>36432898
>halfway intelligent
you mean halfway autistic? who the fuck doesn't listen to music, doesn't watch tv, and wants their boyfriend to not like "fun"?

>>36432916
the reason i put (LOL good joke) after camus was because you have obviously read camus because you're a pseudo-intellectual internet female and that was the joke i was referring to in the post

it made me very happy to see that i was 100% correct and u are literally as dumb as i guessed, ty for the hearty laugh

An answer to your question and, in my opinion, one of the greatest love songs I've ever heard. Says it better than anyone else here can.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Xfk07nrQNk

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>ideal partner thread
>immediately devolves into beta orbiters begging for contact info when fembots post

Come the fuck on, faggots

I don't like women using the board but this pathetic groveling is a hundred times worse

>>36432937
>halfway autistic
lol I've gotten this from a few people I know irl too

>>36432945
oooh well spotted in that case, I'm glad I was able to brighten up your evening. don't go to bed too late anon

>>36432937
>>36432919
She's smart enough to know anyone who begs for a gf on /r9k/ isn't worth her time

>>36432971
hehe lol my irl friends say im halfway autistic because sometimes i say things that are a little offbeat hehe im practically an r9k boy x

you are a subtle parody of yourself

>>36432971
You just need to try drugs or get dicked down hard for once in your life femanon. Maybe that'll help

>>36432985
"smart enough"

meaning not very

>>36432999
i don't say things that are offbeat and I don't think I'm an r9k boy anon where are you getting this from

>>36433008
I really do need to try drugs, don't really have the time though

>>36433040
pretentious roasties are the worst
go back to /lit/ tinychat

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>>36429941
Someone who I actually love and can feel comfortable around

>gentle
>no or few friends
>never been on r9k
>lazy
>laid back

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>white or asian
>quirky sense of humour
>born female
>cute
>likes me
>will watch anime and play videogames with me
>adores me, loves me, cares for me
>genuinely nice
>preferably a virgin but becomes eager sexually

>>36431376
how tall are you to be that heavy?

>>36433257
That's not even that heavy for an Amerifat.

>>36431752
Eh, one can dream I guess. It's not like I'm going to my ideal person.

>>36429941
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUYNUbKORaU

>>36432557
If you aren't Beta then gaybars are your solution.

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>fit and tomboyish
>enjoys cycling, surfing, and other active stuff
>competitive, wants to destroy everyone at everything
>gets pissed off when she loses, but never gives up
>likes normie shit
>occasionally gives me grief about enjoying weird garbage
>wants to do road trips, bike tours, travel to out of the way countries
>doesn't worry too much about stupid shit
>gives me shit for constantly worrying about stupid shit
>is as sadistic as I am in the sack
>does girly things in secret
>has days where she's a piece of garbage and throws things at me for no reason
>looks like pic related

>>36429941
>white or Chinese
>light brunette or blonde
>prefers coffee over tea
>opera connoisseur
>kind and trustworthy
>good in bed ;)

>>36429941
>4'9
>intelligent
>memer and shitposter
>funny
>big DSL's
>beautiful smile
>thin hair
>almond eyes
>easy to talk too

there's more but those are the basics for my ideal partner

Feminine, virtuous, tidy, creative, politically moderate, can sing but doesn't too much. Loves me to death but is not in my fucking face about it all the time.

>>36429941
she exist

>not fat
>no friends/prior boyfriends
That's all I'm looking for, just a girl who is similar to me.

I've come to realize that I've been projecting a Mother character on all of my three last girlfriends, essentially wanting a GF because mommy did not give me enough affection as an infant. I'm receiving therapy from a friend to help transcend this and heal myself through visualizing myself as an infant and receiving affection from my adult self. It's working.

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>>36429941

>virgin
>non-dark skin
>young
>slim
>cute face

These are literally the only simple things I look for. Though simple, they are extremely rare WTF!

>>36429941
Kind, strong, funny, honest, and intelligent. Being chill would also be a plus. Not too picky on looks as far as specifics go. Just cute or physically attractive to me in some way I guess. Sexy doesn't hurt.

>>36430486
That a woman like Joanna Newsom exists and is not mine is the fucking shittiest joke the Gods have played on me yet. She is so far beyond what should be possible, and now she's married to a fucking manchild Hollywood jew.

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>looks like this
>loves me unconditionally
>totally loyal
>faithful to the core
>wants to have strange and disgusting sex
>very private
>loves being in nature
>has tastes for things like handguns and cars
>listens to acid house, 90's idm, a little punk on the side
>takes care of me when I'm too high or sick
>holds me to sleep
>is still talking to me
>hasn't run off because I'm a fucking loser

maybe in the next life

>girl (female)
>6.5/10 minimum
>any race
>hourglass or similar
>B+ cup or greater
>legs for days
>slightly shorter
>plays vidya
>same IQ range
>likes artsy things
>various music tastes, doesn't mind any metal
>likes sex but not thirsty all the time, would prefer to cuddle during a movie
>cyborg personality, can overlook my mediocre looks and love me for my personality and our shared interests.
>didn't ride the cock carousel
Honestly I'm not really sure what I want, just a woman who can find something good in me and isn't Elephant Man tier

>>36429941
>white
>bigger than me
>patient and kind
>can sing or do fun voices
>will finish my food for me
>likes animals and kids
>takes care of me and lets me take care of him

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>breadwinner
>has a house/apartment
>not indian
>not younger than me
>4+/10
>i dont care about body shape, she can be as flat as me or twice as fat
>shes completely obsessed with love and being true to each other
>she locks me in the house and doesnt allow me to go outside because she fears that dirty whores will try to steal me
>she assigned me as the homemaker and makes me cook and clean the house and do typical housekeeping things
>we also hold hands sometimes

i dont mind basically being a female but a dude
i dont care if someone controls me like that so long as they give me love
i want to be forever with someone, be in a pure relationship that will end with both of us dying of old age together

>>36434877
You're gay, aren't you?

Origaboo

Female version of myself.
>Comfortably ugly
>green eyes
>Hard to love
>Professes deeply felt but conditional love to me
>absolutely psychotic, spends her free time making sure I'm doing what I say I'm doing
>doesn't want children, implanted birth control that she can't fuck with

All women cheat on me and break my heart, that's why my ideal gf isnt ideal, because with her I just wouldn't care enough to have feelings about it but would have enough feelings to want her in my life and enjoy her company.

This is the only relationship I could maintain until death do us part, anything more or less would burst into flames, as proofed by girls past.

>>36435064
I'm a girl(female) if that's what you're asking.

>>36435114
That's a shock.
>tfw both of my maternal uncles maintained their relationships on fun voices
>I can always finish femanons food
Honestly, I'd keep going, but if you're actually murrikan, my kik is barroll and we sound like a great match

>>36435194
I'm not on kik, do you have discord?

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>>36429941
Me but with a pussy box

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>>36429941
Two extremely hot girls who never ages and love me - and each other - forever for no reason.

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>>36429941
>What are they like?
real

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>>36429941
Long bright blond hair.
Fair skin. Tall for a girl (but obviously not taller than 6'2" me)
Kind and compassionate (Like, really!)
Slightly awkward, but outgoing and comfortable.
Clever. Likes challenges, and works hard in school and stuff.
Enjoys spending time with me...

>mfw aside from that last one, i just described le school crush that i never had the courage to talk to.
>and now ill never have the opportunity again.
>feels bad man

>>36431323
Want a gf? I have dark brown hair but fit most things, even the 5'11 one

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>tall
>confident
>take charge personality
>good listener
>layers
>green
>leaves through window
YFW

>>36435953
>layers
What did he mean by this?

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The ideal partner is Max Stirner.

>>36430518
>Coffee house clothing style
what did you mean by this?

>Taller than me(5ft11) or shorter than me
>Latino with brown skin
>Skinny to slightly chubby
>is kind and constantly making me laugh
>wants what I want in life
>mentally and emotionally stable
>spontaneous personality
>doesn't act super feminine for a gay guy
>is moderate to slightly conservative politically and not a sjw tumblrina,

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>>36435995
Ogres have layers

>>36435953
>layers
>green
Shrek?

>will watch anime and play video games wth me
>likes cuddling and hand holding
>likes hadpats

why does australia have to be filled with stacies?

i don't exactly know what i want in a partner. Instead I'll go for what i don't want in a partner and some bonuses.

>not overweight, a little bit of chub is accepted
>no severe mental issues
as it is, i'm already having a hard time with normal people
>not smart enough to hold a normal everyday conversation
this one is pretty obvious
>enjoys having a busy schedule/life

bonuses:
>fluffy hair
>nice physique (not too buff, not too fat, etc.)

i should have more standards, but i like to keep my options open. Or maybe i want to avoid being disappointed from having too many standards.

>>36436090
Troll, or child.

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>Nice
>Good sense of humour
>Relatively sane
>Slightly clingy
>Virgin
>White
>Average-to-chubby build
>Doesn't mind my fatness OR will help me lose weight
>Nintoddler
>Enjoys or tolerates the 60-year-old rock/country/R&B music I collect

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Veronica...
her soft lips, smug smile, cute eyes and fluffy hair drive me insane

>>36435249
Ye. barroll#4654

>>36436964
Literally this but neet.

>>36430185
anon that's my waifu get your own.

>chubby?
>brown eyes
>likes esoteric music
>speaks French
>socially retarded
>occasionally spontaneous
>likes vidya

There's probably a lot more variables involved, but I'm just lazy.

>>36437136
That's your ideal except you'd want her to be NEET, or is that you but NEET?

>>36437177
What do you mean by esoteric music?

>>36437276
uh, instrumental metal, lofi hip hop, bossa nova, smooth jazz etc.

>autistic(i'm not and that's why I find autistic girls so fascinating)
>blue or green eyes(these are literal deal breakers)
>black, brown or red hair
>at least a c cup
>intelligent enough to keep me intellectually stimulated
>cute face
>not a whore
>loyal
>mentally ill
>likes me
>5 ft 3" - 5 ft 10" tall (i'm 5 ft 10")

>inb4 "lower your standards! no wonder why you don't get laid"
i get laid though

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>>36437397
OUT NORMIE

>>36437136
>>36437220
plsrspnd

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>cute
>no addictions
>plays vidya, ARPGs and some shooters
>used to watch anime, now only occasionally when it's not garbage
>indoorsy
>not fat
>needs alone time about as often as me so we can cuddle when we're feeling like it
>dark hair green eyes
>self sufficient
>loyal
Maybe a couple exist but she's not necessarily compatible with me if she doesn't browse here, a tumblr or lolcow girl would probably be a pain in the ass.

>>36437427
how can I be a normie if I'm under 6ft?

>>36437653
Being a normie is all about the end result. Even if you're a fucking midget you're one if you can get laid.

>around 5"10 - 6ft
>Cute face
>Dark hair
>Bushy eyebrows
>Muscly

>Confident
>Smarter than me
>Plays instruments (I play 3)
>Speaks languages (I speak 3 fluently)
>Happy
>Talkative
>Likes dogs
>Right wing
>Older than me
>Likes rock/metal music
>Dominant socially (not necessarily in bed, I'm a bit into femdom)
>Reads at least a book a week (I read 2 or 3)
>Has real hobbies (like sailing or shooting)
>Doesn't play video games
>Caring
>Not a virgin (I've learned this is a red flag for boys)
>Nihilist
>Willing to go to church with me

>>36437714
Oh yes and also
>Doesn't study stem

Also long term learned that's a red flag

>>36430023
Yo dude whereabouts you located. Sounds like maybe me. Gotta know how smart you actually are though.

Ideal partner?

I want a gf that is a Christian desu since my whole family is Christian.

>>36429941
i have no original idea

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>>36437714
>no stem
>no video games
>no virgin
Whoa now this is just ridiculous.

>>36432358
I'm dating this kind of guy. Wanna swap? It gets boring.

>>36430486
Throwaway email, anon?

>>36437809
Stem boys are normally super shut in and lack knowledge outside of that super difficult thing they're studying that has no connection with the outside world.

Video games are for children. Most of them don't educate you or bring any profit apart from being a waste of time. They seclude you from society and make you addicted to technology.

Virgin boys get really clingy in their first relationship and they have no idea how to act because they've never been dumped.

I want a girl who is very sensitive but also kind of pushy. Who would like cuddling, and sitting on my face, and talking about feelings. It would be cool if we shared interests, I really like books, philosophy, music, smoking weed, poetry, horror movies and grand strategy games. I'd like it if she had strong opinions about stuff and liked to talk about them.

from my /imt/ thrad post because why the fuck not

Me:
> 24/f/southeast-asia
> asian/white
> 5'2"
> chubby thicc
> very domestic, aspires to be a housewife
> love cooking and baking
> crafty
> likes animals and has pets
> shut in
> don't play vidya but I don't mind if you do.
> somewhat goth-y / alt-y
> unnatural haircolor, changes semi-frequently
> anti-theist
> likes to read, occult, paranormal, alchemy, art and music.
> kinky (to an extent)
> Bipolar, on medication
> multilingual
> a bit clingy and jealous

Him:
> around 6'+
> from around here would be good
> preferably white or half white
> preferably dark hair
> glasses are cute
> skinny/medium built. fit is not a must. figure doesn't matter too much.
> age 24 and up
> shares at least one interest with me
> caring dominant
> introvert
> intelligent
> honest, speaks his mind
> no weeb
> likes books
> monogamous
> understanding, lean on each other's shoulder when needed.

oreganolio

She's young, white, slim or fit, petite and cute. I would prefer someone submissive, someone who can share my interest and I hers.

Sadly all i attract are women 30+ i fuck em but they arent what i look for

>>36429941
Boring, kind of average, likes to read and stay at home. Is happy with me and we have OK sex a couple times a week.

Slender, very introverted, almost shy to anyone but me, from scandinavia or slavic country, has same intetests as me, never drinks, smokes or goes to parties, ideal meetup would be walking trough the woods, urban Exploration or going to some museum, maybe slight depression i could talk her out of.

I know i will stay alone but i am honestly happy with that. Maybe due to being slightly schizoid

>>36437883
You sound great but I'm 19 and don't live anywhere near south east Asia.

>>36437859
Fair enough, I'll admit I'm most of those things.

I must also admit, however, that your "ideal" person sounds like the most boring, stereotypical chad dickhead I'll ever meet in my entire life.

>>36437951
Yeah. I know. I want someone like that as long as I see them as better than me.

You see.. I've been browsing r9k for a few years, took three robots virginities so far. So I've dated the shy, introverted, cute, video game playing guy. It just doesn't work out as well after a few months. It's not interesting to talk to someone who doesn't go out of their room unless it's with you.

>>36431340
Yeah, what's your contact?

>asian
>weigh less than 100 pounds
>flat stomach (this is the anti chubby midget clause)
>religious
>educated in her religion and metaphysics generally and willing to talk/teach me her ways
>meditates and prays regularly
>exercises regularly
>can cook yummy food
>not scared of insects or nedders and will slay them for me
>enjoys movies
>is content to read next to me while I read
>deeply monogamous
>cute voice
>will pick out clothes for me
>rarely smiles
>wears glasses
>and obviously big into purifying her mind body and spirit and becoming a better person

that would be pretty ideal

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>Korean or latina
>qt
>nice long legs
>petite
>loyal and funny
>selfless and talkative
>encourages me
>nice ass
>nice tits, don't mind about size

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>shy
>sweet
>loving
>saving herself for marriage
>not particularly attractive, has that homely or dorky look
>modest, wears no makeup except for special occasions, doesn't wear skinny jeans, yoga pants, short shorts, miniskirts, etc. Occasionally wears longer skirts and dresses
>into geeky stuff like animu, vidya, tabletop RPGs
>also likes travel, exploring, and going /out/

>>36438142

>Long legs
>Petite

Gondola?

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MEW from Fargo

>>36435811
Sure, how can I hit you up?

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>>36429941
-Any height under 6 ft
-Feminine
-Has some type of hobby, isn't a Netflix cat coffee girl
-Disliked social media
-Sexy to me (nice butt, skinny, attractive face)
-Decent sex drive
-Yandere

How hacked am i? 6 2, gonna be making 50+k a year, fairly fit and getting fitter, smart, but not charasmatic. Also I am patient and would put up with yandere shit.

>living
>human
>female

That's about it

>>36432125
I think I might qualify, but I'm already in love with a guy I met online. We don't talk anymore but I'm still thinking about him everyday. A few days ago I stayed in bed all day and slept, fantasising about what I'd do I'd we were together. It feels terrible, really. Having someone be jealous and clingy for you might sound precious, but that doesn't apply to the person feeling like that.
I want to meet him in a couple of years but since he lives in another country, I'll have to work to buy plane tickets and I can't imagine what I'd do if he rejected me.

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- 6-1 years younger than me.
- Short/petite (5'2-5'5)
- Preferably brunette (but not a deal breaker)
- Cute face/facial features
- Glasses/Contacts
- Nerdy interests
- Likes to travel and explore but also down to just chill and binge watch Netflix.
- Likes horror movies.
- Average to above average intellect.
- Caring/nurturing/loving
- Into giving oral as well as receiving.
- Monogamous
- Decent-above average sex drive.
- Good singing voice/musically talented.
- Naturally funny/good sense of humor.
-Charismatic

>>36429941
>5'10 (This isn't really important)
>Tomboyish
>Clingy, spends most of her time with me
>Yandere
>Short Black Hair
>Is leading in conversation, is okay with my shyness

>>36437859
>not being clingy
>not wanting a clingy partner
you can just apply to a brothel at this point roastie

>>36429941
>kind
>rational
>doesn't have to be smart, just not dumb as a brick
>not japanese or russian
Bonus points
>actually a qt
>shares some interest like anime or vidya or star wars
>really short (4'11-5'3)
>either really long/really short hair

Feels good to dream man

>>36429941
thread killer

Looks

>tall
>slender with a flat stomach
>long dark hair
>bright green eyes
>wears glasses
>small or no boobs
>pale skin
>no tattoos or piercings

Personality is subjective across every individual but

>loyal
>honest
>kind
>compassionate
>sweet
>weird
>able to hold, and partake within, a conversation
>smart
>doesn't play mindgames
>doesn't wear a lot of revealing clothing
>doesn't start arguments for the sake of starting arguments
>doesn't act like a child
>likes me as much as I like them
>caring and willing to show it
>doesn't want kids

>>36439886
That's part of the reason why I personally want a gf like that, femanon. I would wipe away many of those concerns and doubts from her mind, because I'd be completely receptive of her and her advancements. And of course, I would provide as much emotional support for her as she would want.
Good luck with your oneitis, he's lucky to have an admirer like you.

>>36440659
>doesn't want kids

Why would you waste a woman's time like that? Admit you just want a fuck doll that worships and celebrates all your character flaws as virtues

>>36429941
Me with tits and a vagina.
Oregano

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>>36429941
I want a cute girl with mental disorders so that i can mold her into what i want

>>36429941
Me, but without a penis

>>36437987
Been a few hours so I'm not sure if you're gonna read this but
>took three robots virginities so far
How does this work? Do people from here actually meet up?

>It's not interesting to talk to someone who doesn't go out of their room
I beg to differ. If you both have similar interests, it can happen. LDRs and relationships with literal shut-ins do not work though, of course.

>>36433257
5'8"
I carry it well though, I go to the gym

>>36440799
Thank you so much, Anon. This was a really pleasant surprise. Best of wishes!

>>36441810
Yeah I've met a few people by posting my Skype or in chat rooms. It's mainly in group chats actually.

Hmm. Only some interests work, ones that can be constantly built up. And most robots don't have interests like that.

Healthy, responsible, smart, honest, and moral

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>right amount of autism
>only wear dull color shirt
>boring look
>have a interest
>trustful never betray
>cozy and chill
>good at cook if she can
>frugal
>smells of rainy day

>>36429941
>height
Anything over 4'11
>weight
Anything over 110 and under 220
>looks
he woyld be a 5 at least, hopefully
>what they would like/how they acf
Pokemon, digimon, always sunny, sci-fi and horror movies, dogs, fish and small animals. He would enjoy shopping wi th me and be patient as I take a while in stores. Hopefully the kind of guy to say "I'm not rushing you, but I'm gonna go to a store I like while you browse" when he's bored at the girl store. He would be really turned on by sexy bras and stuff, he wouldn't be overly sexual but once a day is a good range for sex. He would also be a great singer and loves my cooking. He also likes stand up comedy and we watch stand up on weekends. Also he should blaze it,faggot.
>the bad in him
Probably lazy, probably a little sarcastic and he can get on my nerves easily if he tries. I have a BO fetish, and he would be kinda messy and smelly after work so idk if that's a bad th ing or good.
>in the end
I just want a guy who likes everything I do and even if he has some hangups, we would work on it together through vidya and weed therapy.
Also I want a guy to pokemon battle with

Oh and he must like magic the gatheri ng without being a cardshop asshole every game. Let me win sometimes :)

>>36429941
>is 3D
>Likes playing vidya, even if she's not that good
>Cute
>Loyal
>Yandere levels of obsessed with me
>Lives relatively close.

>>36430622
Where do you live?

>>36429941
>shy/autistic
>short
>pale
>black hair and brown eyes
>5/10 face
>has interests in common or is willing to do them with me (vidya, anime, blacksmithing)

I'd take a girl that has different traits than the first 4 of course but the second two are required.

>>36443730
Also I forgot to add that she has to be thin/not fat.

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>>36429941
Physical
>asian or white, preferablly white
>preferablly fit, slim or skinny
>any haircolor fine but it has to be long
>qt, doesn't have to be hot just cute
>preferably no tattoos or piercing
>not taller than me

Mental
>careless and laidback behaviour
>loyal and nice
>have her own hobbies and interest seperate from mine I'm sperg so I don't like sharing my hobbies and interests regardless of who the other person is
>be able to show me as much love and affection
>family oriented
>romantic
>likes cuddling and other physical contact
>introvert but lieks going out now and then

I just want someone to hold, I never got any love or affection as a kid, only abuse and social isolation

My boss at work. She's a qtp2t, we get along, and for some reason I can talk to her without spilling spaghetti everywhere.

>>36443453
>Let me win sometimes
How about you earn your win
Also are you a gayboi or girl

>qt
>intelligent
>supportive
>unambitious, half shut in
>/co/mrade

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pls rate famalam

im pathetic but at least im not as pathetic as some of you

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My oneitis if she didn't have a boyfriend and felt the same way about me.

She's short, at least shorter than me but if she was the same height that would be fine
medium/long hair, preferably brunette but its whatever
Big expressive eyes
she is more outgoing than me but only a little, just enough where she can break me out of my shell but not enough so that she still needs me with her to feel confident
loves me

i guess that last part is where i lose them though

>>36443862
Girl. I try man, but I play standard and I've been out the loop for so long I'd get my ass mashed. But I really love it, I like to play with pauper decks.

Faceapp girl me is pinned in my browser forever.

>>36443862
Also I run green/black or green/white how bout you??

>>36443979
>>36443999

I haven't played magic in a long time but that's one hobby I could get behind if I had someone to play with.
I had a shitty sunburst deck back then.

>>36429941

>Pale skin
>short to mid size
>a bit curvy but not fat in any regards

now her personality
>a bit shy
>a bit perverted
>good sense of humor
>cultivated
>loyal

I don't see the point of this anyway, it's not like a girl like this would want a loser like me.

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>>36429941
any size of pic related next to the guy but semi /fit/
they have some interests that are similar to me but some of her own that's she tries to get me into and vice versa
Is faithful and would never cheat on me as the same for me to her
is a virgin so we can lose our virginity to each other on our honeymoon

>male
>short to average height, medium build
>within a couple years of my age (19)
>dirty blonde to brown hair preferred
>brown eyes
>virgin
>not a whore, won't cheat on me or stare at other women
>doesn't think that objectively men are superior to women
>genuinely loves me

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Physically this girl
Shy
Funny
Likes to watch any kind of movies

>>36443453
Where are you located anon? Got a contact?

Loves me. Wants me. I'm a fat white girl so this already impossible.

In my fantasy, he's a chubby Japanese guy bc I'm a weeb so we can live there together. Or white man who wants to increase the white race. Either is okay.

We live together in a small apartment with our two year old daughter and I spend the day cooking and cleaning while he good to some sort of IT job. When he gets home I'll make him snacks while he plays video games with our daughter.

I call him daddy while we fuck bc my fetish.

She never shaves and let's me lick her hairy ass while she blows she me.

Also we smoke weed together and she's okay with just chilling out all day.

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>>36443453
>imperial system

I fit your description almost perfectly (singing shit aside) but I'm an eurofag

feelsbad

>>36429941
Tall
Nice dick
Kind

Only problem is that I'm that person and I want to be a cute little boy

Kill me

>>36444332
>call himm daddy while we fuck
God it's hot when girls do that shit

>>36444230
My blue eyes cucked me yet again

>>36444332
contact info?

oriental

>>36444332
You sound almost perfect. Have you tried to lose weight?

>>36444420
Trying. I'm also NEET and about to turn 25 and hit the wall so the dream is getting further and further away.

>competitive, at minimum in a fun playful sense
>knowledgeable about random subjects unknown to me
>enjoys my how I am passionate about the things I like ( hobbies, views, and relationships) even if she doesn't enjoy the concept itself
>likes to cuddle ( all last gfs didn't like romance or anything that wasn't pump and dump)
>extremely playful/cute, like teacher cute. Buying silly things, suddenly replacing my books with stuffed animals
>knows how she wants me to look and isn't afraid to say it
>maybe plays vidya
>maybe draws art of does something creative
>doesn't leave me when she learns that I've had a previous gay lifestyle that I left behind and I just want to move on despite my massive collection of dragon dildos
I've come to accept the fact that I'm going to buy escorts to pretend to be romantically interested with me without actually having sex with them.
>tfw buy whore and watch her build legos just because

>>36444481
What's your BMI and body-fat percentage? Do you mean overweight (Chubby) or obese (Straight up fat)? You might not be that bad. Also what's your face on a scale of 1 to 10? You could probably become average and get a guy with effort.

>virgin
>white
>even if rightwing not a bigot
>autistic, pathetic, or submissive
>athletic or skinny but willing to fatten up for my fetish
>lives in California so meeting is possible but is willing to never actually go out or speak in person
>posts his ideal in return

>>36444570
femanon?

origami

>>36444570
I fit these anon. Are you not fat? Are you female? Leave contact please

>>36444617
yes I'm a grill (female), post your ideal and contact if you want...

>>36444564
31 BMI so pretty fucked. I've put on a lot of depression weight since my birthday. I'd rate face 6/10. Not that cute but not deformed in anyway. Gotten some compliments on it.

Considering suicide if I make it to 25 without even a BF.

>Female
>Shyer than me, which will force me to practice social tasks more
>Sweet, empathetic, patient with me
>Same political ideologies
>Mental disorders are fine as long as she won't pull some manipulative bullshit if we fight or end up breaking up
>Not-religious or not serious about religion
>Practically worships me like a crush or an idol. Makes it obvious, but won't tell me up front.
>Not clingy though.
>Will drink/do soft drugs with me
>Likes indoors-y type stuff. will stay home and watch movies or read with me
>Not kinky, sort of vanilla in bed
>Loves me (most important one)

>>36444570
>>virgin
>>white
>>even if rightwing not a bigot
>>autistic, pathetic, or submissive
>>athletic or skinny but willing to fatten up for my fetish
>>posts his ideal in return

Did I win... is this possible?

>>lives in California so meeting is possible but is willing to never actually go out or speak in person

FUCK FUCK FUCK MY ENTIRE EXISTENCE

>>36444570
>lives in California

FUUUUUCK, so close yet so far

>>36444801
I'm sorry anon!

Post yours and I will wish you the most luck!

>>36444890
I'm >>36443525

Not in the US. Godamnit I wish I was in cali.

>>36444865
I didn't know hoping someone would live close to me would be so sucky! Maybe I should have just said could visit every couple of months? But then neets would be ruled out and I don't care about money or education or anything like that.... Ah!

>>36444332
More dreams.

While he at work me and our daughter will go walking and shopping. I'll buy her cute sold and such.

My husband would collect those mecha figures, or anime girl figures I don't mind, they are cute. Or those war hammer figures. Something geeky because I watch anime and kids shows happily and don't want to feel intimidated by him. But he'll still be husbandly and man of the house-like.

We'll go to the beach on the weekend sometimes. But sometimes he's too tired from work and that's okay so we'll stay home and he can do whatever makes him happy.

Proposes to me at Disneyland.

Dominate in bed. Spanks me when I do something wrong. Kinky but not too kinky (futa and traps are for faggots).

>>36445163
No I mean so close because I would have fitted your expectations perfectly.

I live in France.