What is the most awkward moment in your life?

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>>36429269
>Be 16
>friendless silent type that no one knew existed
>sitting in history class watching a documentary about the slave trade
>BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAB.mp4
>massive wet fart comes out of my ass
>teacher gives me a sidways disgusted glance as he pauses the documentary.
>mfw my autistic rage meter fills up and I yell "GOD FUCKING DAM IT" at the top of my lungs
>didn't go to school for the next 2 weeks
>No one said anything but I know what they where thinking.
>Spend the rest of the year plus my senior year with no one talking to me unless its forced by a teacher.

>having dinner with parents and little sister
>little sister is 10 and I'm 19
>mom asks me if I have a girlfriend
>not thinking and say "I'm waiting for my sister to get older so I can marry her"
>parents are speechless
>sister agrees and says "yeah, let's get married!"
>realize what I said and said I was just kidding
>parents were not amused

>>36429542
you need to tap that

>>36429542
She's down anon, bang her.

>>36429542
you better hold on to that promise, oniichan

>>36429542
Only white people are obsessed with incest.

>12 years old ugly kid
>sexually confused and frustrated
>would often glide my hand across girls, just to see what they feel like
>sometimes just touch their shoulders
>other times touch their thigh/bum
>do this for a few weeks, think I'm super sneaky
>one day class goes out for break, teachers calls me out
>"anon, can I talk to you in private"
>"some of the girls say you are touching them in, uhm, private areas"
>act confused
>start crying
>say they made it up, I had no intentions
>ask to go to the bathroom, leave school, run home early

Nothing else came from it surprisingly. It was years ago, but I still am extremely uncomfortable touching girls. To the point where I cross the street if it's a narrow sidewalk and a girl is walking towards me.

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>TFW blocked all memerys I don't like so can't remember any
Feels good man

>>36429542
Yeah fuck that 10 year old puss.

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>girl i like comes over from town next to mine for the weekend
>hangs out at my house for a bit
>she has a bookbag and various fruit flavored condoms
>laugh about it
>asks me if i want some
>i say that theyre all nine inch so theres no way theyd fit me
>she saw my ween before but not in person
>she argues that my dick is nine inches
>we debate this for awhile
>we're about to leave and i ask her to leave for a second
>pull out my dick and wave it around and get hard
>call her in to prove my dick is infact not nine inches
>she freaks out and tells me to put it away
>walk with her for a while in silence and she leaves me to get high
>she still doesnt know my dick isnt nine inches

dunno why i did it it but seemed like a good way to get plowed at the time

>>36430308
I probably would have given some waring beforehand. Did anything happen afterward?

>>36430373
nah but i realized she was only in town to get high anyways. she was with me to kill time.
wasted my time for a few months after that and then she went missing and now shes pregnant

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>be me in high school
>pretending to be gay
>>allow me to explain:
>>>there was this girl I really liked
>>>I knew for a fact that if I were to approach her traditionally, she would very likely reject me
>>>however, I overheard her talking to one of her female friends about how she wants a gay best friend more than anything
>>>[lightbulb goes off over head]
>anyway
>it's January
>we both got to school early
>we get to sit around in class, free time until 8:30
>my oneitis had a massive crush on our science teacher, Mr. Lynch
>she starts swooning over him
>it hurts me emotionally, but fuck it, I guess I'll start swooning over him too just because
>start joking about a porn scenario where I'm talking to him about my failing grades and he tells me, "Oh, I'll give you an A. But first, I'll give you the D."
>she laughs her ass off, I'm glad I've pleased her
>meanwhile, I'm too busy getting lost in her beautiful smile to notice that the entire classroom had fallen silent
>our conversation started out through whispers but had gradually grown until we were the loudest ones in the room, and everyone quieted down to focus on us
>Mr. Lynch interrupts us
>"You know I can hear you guys, right?"
>complete silence
>everybody's staring
>bell rings, school begins
>I had to go to school with these people for 6 more months
>residual embarrassment never fully goes away
I will be haunted by this moment forever

>>36429796
Because only blacks carry it out

>>36430559
the worst part is that I never even bothered to make a move on her. embarrassed the hell out of myself for nothing at all other than to have a chance at being her "gay" best friend.

>>36430559
Yeah that's pretty bad

Aasddff