How are you? No normie answers. Be honest.

>>36416352
I'm actually not doing too bad. I'm a NEET on a nocturnal schedule, so I had a great night of doing nothing and now I'm getting ready to sleep soon.

I feel like shit. I'm a lazy fucker and basically I don't do nothing in my life. I can't get out of this and I tried and tried and tried... And still I don't get nothing done

>>36416352
On the verge of actually going mad.

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>>36416352
Feel a lot better than I should famalam

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>>36416352
>NEET KHV
>broke
>earning scraps from making furry porn
>video games and junk food to escape reality
Life, could be better.

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>>36416352
my mind is lost. I've been in the same white square room for 3 years now and theres no end in sight. Don't ever become a shutin, you'll go fucking mad.

>when i come home at night i always think someone has broken into my house
>i always see shit moving under my desk or in the corner of my sight
>sometimes hear banging on my windows
at this rate i'll soon end up accidentally hurting my mom.
am i schizophrenic?

>>36416824
probably not, unless you have family history. regardless, those are pretty clear warnings of a mental break, and like you say, could be a timebomb for hurting yourself or others. I'd address them while you can still recognize them as hallucinations/delusions before it gets out of your control.

>>36416352
i'm living in a neutral state, neither satisfied nor dissatisfied. i am a diagnosed schizoid PD though, so my life feels as it should be.

>>36416352
Feel worse than I should

>>36416352
Could be better. For the past 3 years ive been going through these phases every few months where im generally happy and feeling good, to a couple months of feeling extremely paranoid, depressed, suicidal, and i feel like im losing grip on reality. I can physically feel these things happening in my body and its been happening lately so i know im in for some hell for a while

Feeling pretty good honestly

I finally got under 200 lbs and just got done taking a cold shower after playing Dance Dance Revolution in my basement.

Now I wait a few hours until getting paid and then I'll hit up my weedman so I can celebrate dudeweedlmao day properly.

Also gonna make a bbq double bacon cheeseburger for lunch fuck yeah

Not to well.

Uni is not going well, work is not going well, and I often find myself at night on the balcony thinking and drinking.
You will say "you live alone, work and study at uni, you basically have what most people here want, be happy".
And I will answer "it's not that easy, to be happy".
I was alone for too much time to actually be sure I'm normal now, and that I didn't develop any mental illness.

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>>36417376
> I was alone for too much time to actually be sure I'm normal now and that I didn't develop any mental illness.

That hit too close to home

>>36416352
I have to teach a class about WWII to a bunch of cadets tomorrow and call chief to discuss it but I haven't read past the first slide in the presentation and I need to study for some tests and I have no gf

>>36416352
I have like 5k debts but I don't really feel bad about it.

>>36416824
nigga paint your room. White walls lead to madness. Paint it a cool color, nothing too bright but not very dark. See if this doesn't improve your mental state

>>36416352
>hungry
>dont think I deserve to eat

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Not sure how much longer i can do this desu OP

absolutely shit

>>36416352
The way I see it, my life is like a train ride. Birth is the train ticket, and I have no idea where the fuck I'm going. I didn't even choose to get on the train, I simply woke up and realized I was on it. As to where it's destination is, I know not of. I'm simply riding and trying to enjoy the ride as best as I can.

I know you said no normie answers, but as a newfag i must confess this place is turning me.

>diagnosed S.A.D, depression
orignowqidjoqwdj

but, honestly before I found this board a a year ago I simply hated myself and considered the normies superior.

Now, im content i fuck it dont even have the energ

>>36417520
I could have swore i wrote "desu" not desu, but okay. that works too i suppose.

Well, i'm about to get breakfast and i watched the Gorillaz interview like an hour ago, and my mother returned from Mexico City last night and brought some good stuff, like quartz, so you tell me..

Oh! and i'm gonna watch a season finale with a friend this saturday :)

>>36416352
Doing alright for now but I know everythings about to fall apart

>>36416352
I became a normie yesterday

>>36417579
So how does it work? Does desu just change to desu?

I'm having a hard time living. I feel like I can't relate to anyone on any level and I don't understand.

>>36416352
My life is okay all things considered... but I still feel like I'm a fucking joke. I cant fucking be happy, why cant I be happy?

Could be better
I feel like I'm not a good person because I have violent and aggressive thoughts, but I act nice despite it.
I want to change and become a truly good humble person.
My emotions overpower me and I compromise the values I set for myself.

I just want to not have to deal with this and live a Norman life

>>36417665
god shut up newfag

mohawk street

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>>36416352

>Just started to realize my descent into robothood.
>Negativity has replaced my optimism.
>A year ago whenever I felt down I started researching jobs etc. to make myself feel better about the long term/post uni
>Now even if I know that I meet the minimum requirements for most jobs I still feel inadequate, I feel like there will always be someone better than me.
>Probably won't do anything to improve this.

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>>36416824
seriously get help now. stop distracting yourself and think through your issues
i have been a shut in for 7 years. from when i was 13 to now im 20. i was picked on and my dad was a cold angry piece of shit, mum was exactly the same.... blah blah blah you get the picture

Trust me eventually you'll snap and you don't know if you're going to unleash this frustration on others or yourself or whatever. You honestly cant keep a lid on your issues forever as the heated cauldron that is your mind will eventually boil over at the worst moment. Something will trigger this reaction

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>>36416352
Stressed as fuck. I'm late on two assessments and my collaborator is pissed that I wasn't in class today because they just started another fucking assessment.

Im always alone, I dont have any real friends, I dont know how to talk yo ppl, and the only thing that i know to do is sit and play vidya.

>>36416352
The one thing that gives me strength is missing
I'm going to wither away and die

>>36417738
>He's giving advice like he has any life experience
>He's 20
lollllllll

>>36416352
I think I'm finally losing it.. I keep seeing weird patterns out in the world, or feeling like people are following me. By patterns I don't mean like visual hallucinations, I mean like I'll be thinking of a song, and then I'll walk into a store and it'll be playing. Or like I'll think about some friend I haven't seen since high school and then run into them totally out of the blue. Weird coincidences I can't fucking explain.

>>36416352
Stressed about work (sales). Trying to make numbers for the week, but it's slow-going.

I've been here nine months though, so I'm eligible for unemployment if I get fired. That keeps me from shitting my pants every morning.

>>36417932
how old are you anon?
I AM FUCKING ORIGINAL

>>36418083
My age doesn't matter. I'm not giving out life advice at 20.

>>36418108
"Too old to be on 4chan"
Is the answer we were looking for

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Tbh I'm rapidly losing friends and people are thinking that I'm actually gay

>>36418117
>Haha, ur 2 old gramps xDD
I'm 23 and this site doesn't have an age limit. Fuck you're dumb

>>36416352
I've been going to therapy and talking about my inferiority complex, loneliness, and the intense emptiness I feel inside.


It's been a great help, but its frustrating that my counselor can't seem to understand that talking to women in today's social climate is incredibly risky.

Well, i'm starting posing myself useless questions on why the society is so stupid. Then i start thinking how i can improve it. I realize the only way is to pray the peacock.

>Been gaining weight because busy and eating garbage again, will need to lose it again in the summer.
>High risk of failing class needed for summer placement as it's all subjectly marked projects and the instructor hates me, I'll be lucky to get a 50.
>Finishing 5th year of college and made maybe two friends and neither is going to be long lasting. This is after being outed from two social circles.
>25 next year and still no GF.
>Mind still stuck on someone who ghosted on me hard after promising we would hang out for a few days a couple of years ago even though I know we won't be friends again.

I'm feeling pretty bad.

>>36418248
Are you literally eating garbage?
I wouldn't blame you, i do it myself, because it's free

>>36418290

No, just a lot of junk food. Chocolate, fast food, and Pizza's.

Got hired as a supervisor with 130k salary but doing intern-level work a year later. No power. Not growing in my career which is not the worst but it's annoying considering how much responsibility I had at my last company

>Dead broke, less than $500 in the bank
>Anxious for NO reason
>No real hobbies

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>>36416352

I've been playing hearthstone like crazy the last couple of weeks. I'm stagnating around rank 1 for the last 185 fucking games. 185. One hunderd and fucking eighty five games I'm around rank 1. I've tried another deck and now I'm demoted to rank 3. Blizzard is fucking me over and I haven't been this frustrated in my entire life. I feel like burning my fucking house down. LET ME REACH LEGEND RANK YOU FUCKING AAAASSSSSHOOOOLEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSssSSSSSSSSSS ddffrsgdrgdfdgdt


REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>36418164
Get your geriatric ass off my board before you break a hip, great gramps!

>>36417738
Wtf are you me? I also started fucking my life up at 13. Now im 20 with zero friends and about to drop out. Fucking vidya man.

>>36416352
Nervous, been chatting with a 14 year Old Girl (18 myself) who lives not too far from me, yesterday she reciprocated my questions, now she takes longer to Response and doesn't ask back... Help me robots, i don't want to loose my last chance at teenage love

Unstable, it is an up and down ride, one day im okay, the next day i feel like shit, im my worst enemy and i cant change it.

>>36419140
Your going to go to jail you stupid fuck, good chance shes telling all her friends who will tell someone else or you are on catch a predator

>>36416352
Terrible.
Absolutely terribIe

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>>36416352

Depressed tired sad and empty

>>36416352
I want some form of connection to somebody to call a friend.

Everybody seemed to just leave right after high school.

Zoloft pills aren't working, and anything else the therapist gave me don't generally work. The only thing that actually worked was drugs, which i raided my parents pill cabinet for, so I'm too much of an autist to actually go get more.

Which makes me even more sad, because to truly be happy, I have to be disconnected from this world.

Other than that, pretty much the same. KHV Neet, but not making any money. I only have $800 USD in my savings.

I don't think i will ever find a social group i can fit in as a well-assimilated, non-criminal minority in a nordic country. There's very few people who i can relate with, who come from the same place i do. Most people just ignore me, because they're simply not interested in me. I've never had a true friend. I feel like i'm always surrounded by strangers.
White girls aren't interested in me cause i'm not beautiful and tall enough, and brown girls aren't interested in me because i'm not tough or confident enough.

>>36420128
Oh, and I also was failing community college, and just ended up dropping out.

What makes it worse is that my mother seems to think I'm some form of "higher intellectual" and she's convinced I'm working on something.

I'm not.

>>36419461
I'm a manlet and often people think that i'm 15-16 so i'm not seeing it as a problem.

Also i live in germany and she doesn't even know that i'm 18 so theres that>>36419934

>>36420256
Wasn't meant to reply to >>36419934

I went to a girl's house because she said she'd be my gf and after I got there she said another friend was coming over. But then they talked as if they hadn't seen each other for a small while and afterwards I realized that she must have invited him over because she didn't want to be alone with me and that makes me angry.
Not that she didn't want to be alone with me, but that she said yes to the gf question and then presumably made me look like a fool to this other person

I am impulsive and a bad procrastinator, hooked up to instant gratification.

In about 15 hours I will be standing by myself alone in a party full of normies richer and more successful than I and in 39 hours I will be standing alone in a party full of high school kids celebrating their life before they start exams. In the few little parties I've been to before, I stood alone anyway but at least I get paid to stand alone nowadays as a bouncer.

I wear a mask and act the way a normie expects a bouncer to act. I laugh, chat through what's become an increasingly recognizable routine of things to say, wish I could sit down, then drive home alone and late. I've talked to more girls working as a bouncer than I think I've done in the rest of my life. I am numb during the drive home but being in a car alone insulated from any form of distraction means I have a lot of time to think. Some of these times I break down crying while driving home but after I get home, I pretend I'm feeling ok so I don't cause my mom to worry.

I really don't want to fail uni this semester or this year really. I want to finish up after failing for so long, find a mediocre job, and try to salvage something out of my life before it's too late.

I'm an outsider but I'm still hanging on. I have no friends. Fellow bouncers sometimes ask if I want to stay for a drink after work but this requires me to put on another mask, one I'm not familiar with. I can do the average coworker while on duty mask. I can't do the relaxed chat about life coworker mask. I don't want to talk about my life outside because I'm afraid it'll be negatively perceived and then have it ruin the precarious so-so existence I have at work which I've spent so long to build up.

I'm lonely. I feed off a small internet community after working my way up there to a small circle of people I can chat with but they're online people who I can't be open with about life anyway. I know I sometimes feel like reaching out to just anyone tangible.

>>36416352
>How are you?
To be completely honest I'm in an apathetic mood. I lost my virginity to a 6/10 with some mental issues, secured a well paying job, and am making straight A's in my classes. Despite all this, I feel as though my life is simply progressing without my control. Vices like drugs, video games, and sex are the only things that give me genuine pleasure anymore and only for a moment. Also my professor is making me writing an essay about portrayals of gender roles in the media, so fuck him I guess.

Is there a term for someone that has a job and gets out to get to office every day, but basically is a hikkikomori beyond that? Just work and staying inside. 'Cause that's me.

I dont eat any proper food , the last 20 hours i only drunk a coffee and ate some biscuit ,having 4 hours asleep per day (barely )im not sleeping nd dont feel like eating anything so basically feeling like shit

>>36420341
but no one is there when I feel like reaching out.

I occasionally check my score on a website to see how I'm dealing with 'depression' and 'anxiety'. I'm a (horrible) psychology student and even before that I'm sure I've got some form of avoidant personality disorder. It all fits, especially the part where avoidants desperately want intimate relationships but avoid them out of fear of being negatively perceived. It's pretty crippling. There's just no one to be open and frank to. Over the years I think it's changed me for the worse.

I've forgotten what friends are. I see people with friends going out on nights as a bouncer and sometimes I roll the thought of going out with friends around in my head and it's just weird. How does a person do that? Talk with each other, joke with each other, trust each other? Sometimes I imagine it when I'm bored but I pull back. I can't imagine ever opening up to anyone. It feels like a pointless exercise. I can't make friends with anyone. I want to be open to another person but I don't want to scare them off so I have to lie or be evasive at the start. In the end I just keep the few conversations I have to banal work chatter. Not because I enjoy it but because I have to, otherwise the mask slips and I become known as not a normal functioning member of society. It's lessened a bit nowadays but I still feel some satisfaction from coming out from a conversation with my mask intact.

It slipped once, really horribly, in my first year at university. It was autistic as fuck and I don't know why I acted the way I did.

Anyway there are a lot of real life issues I need to fix before I can even think about opening up to someone. Who wants a failure of a person as a friend much less a partner? I'll probably be so old by then though. Kinda sad too, I check IDs all the time as a bouncer and I'm surprised at the girls I see that are my age. They look old, older than I feel. Maybe they just suck at make-up.

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>>36416352
IM SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING RIGHT NOW

>>36416352
I'm not really sure. I feel like I am in a daze of some sort most of the time, my normal state is feeling a little bad and having so much brain fog that I can't function properly. I am not doing well, but I probably could be doing worse too. Sucks too since if I was at my best I might be able to pull myself out of this rut since I have an opportunity coming soon, though if I fuck that up I can see a steep downhill for my life.

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>tfw deleted my post four different times
I can't even describe why I currently feel like shit, transcribing it to text just becomes an aimless mess

>>36416352
I'm a 18 with a F in all my highschool classes and have to do a shit ton of work just to get a D in two classes to graduate. I'm freaking out on the inside because realistically I'm too lazy to trust myself.

>>36417279
>after playing Dance Dance Revolution in my basement
Which one?

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Ever since I quit drinking, it's like I'm in a permanent state of unhappiness. It's like something in me died when I quit drinking.
I really feel dead inside.

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I'm fabuIous

>>36416352
I am so tired.
Every failure hits like a truck. And it seems like I am near a highway full of trucks.
The light dims.
I am a bad person. I wonder if I ever felt love. There was literally one person I have ever cared for in a romantic way and I lost her 5 years ago.
I feel bad. Life feels like a punishment.

Depressed, anxious. The usual

>>36416352
Iam fucking sick, like literaly have bacterial infection in my throat yet I went to classes from 0600 to 1900.
Unbeliebably I dont feel really bad.
Just tired.

Suicidal. I ordered the stuff I need for an exit bag, it should be here soon.

>>36417171
have you considered help for bipolar disorder? I was talking to my counselor just the other day about this exact thing

I have worms. What do

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>tfw a 26 year old kv hikki and your biological clock is ticking but you know you don't have the life skills to be a good wife or mother anyway

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Very stressed. I have 5 more weeks till I graduate college and of course everything piles on during the last semester and the last few weeks. I don't want to fail, I've already been accepted to grad school so I can't fuck this up.

Pretty good, just got new shoes

"Fine"

This is the only non normie answer

>>36421421
I don't care what you look like, I would knock you up

I am in a grad program and it's awful. I don't know what I am supposed to do and people I ask only help me reluctantly. I hate having to feel like a nuisance. Why did they accept me if they were going to not tell me what to do?
Why can everyone else just naturally become part of the team and I have to be this dumb faggot who doesnt kniw what to do and who nobody likes.

Last year of college, still minimum wagecucking but I'm getting background checked for a public safety job at the moment which I should almost certainly pass. Not much going on socially but I'm not a complete shut-in on that front at least. Preparing myself to say goodbye to my oneitis forever.

>>36416352
I literally only come to /r9k/ to support the boipucci threads at this point. I spent a fucking hour making reaction redditfrogs with my shitty mouse. I still can't draw. I'm tired of the internet but if I leave it'll be worse when I inevitably come back. I'm socially isolated.

Not especially great tbqh

I'm stupid and unmotivated, probably have no future. Might join the army so I can go to war and get killed, so I wouldn't have to do it myself and look like a bitch.

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First day dieting. God I hate the feeling of being hungry.

I also think im loosing my mind. Im so foggy, slow and paranoid. Im worried the hallucinations will come back.

>>36420128
are you going to school? I have no friends am in school, have no idea how to make any outside of school.

>>36421677
>>36420173

No, i failed and dropped out. I didn't really give a fuck about it.

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I'm just waiting to let the suicide happen.

>>36416352
Forgot to take my medication now I've been wide awake since 1am cleaning fucking everything lmaoooo

Currently a NEET.

Family is moving to North Carolina May 31st.

I worked for about a year in the city before I got fed up with it. It took 2.5 hours one way to get to work due to the traffic. My back was killing me from sitting in the same 20 dollar Office Depot chair for 10 hours a day, and I Crohn's so I ended up shitting myself a couple of times on the bus.

I go to bed early and wake up early though. I exercise too in the morning after I purge my bowels for a few hours.

I'm currently studying for my A+ certification but I'm only half way done with my class. It's not the most difficult thing in the world, just a lot of studying to do.

I can't go back into marketing. I see job postings and it makes my skin crawl. I hated it so much. Promo codes, email coding, cataloging, landing page designs etc. I can't deal with that shit anymore. I want to do something I love but that seems like it's not an option.

I'm 23 but feel like my life is already over. I have a gap on my resume that I know will make me never get a job again in an office setting.

Gonna probably work retail or something because I'm too dumb more than likely to do anything else.

>>36421034
DDR MAX 2 for PS2
I haven't bought a new video game since 2004.

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>>36417738
>I am 20 and still fucked but I finally got it now that I'm grown, do what I'm saying.
It's always brightest right before the dusk.

>>36420128
Anon you are literally me from 12 months ago, right down to the Zoloft not working
I got better meds and they made a huge difference and now I have a gf and a job
There's hope dude
still no friends though

>>36422058
what are you now taking? I pretty much gave up on taking anything else.

Also, what job are you working? how is life?
Maybe similar experiences lead to similar likes / dislikes?

>>36421057
I'm 4 months off and, while it's more stable, the existential dread makes this life so much worse than the shitshow of addiction.
What keeps you off it?
I don't have a great reason, so I'm sure it's going to break soon.

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>>36420256
>>36420286
Yo, you hit me twice just to say this?

I'm about to take that first sip of the day.
t. feels goodman

>>36422159
/fit/ gtfo

>>36418444
Just netdeck LOL.

The only reason I haven't killed myself is because I don't wanna put my family through it. I will never get a qt gf or be happy. I just can't find the motivation to do anything and stay committed to it.

>>36416352
annoyed that i still don't manage to get anything done

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I should be doing my homework but I feel like studying Italian and browsing the internet for a while. It's a nice sunny day out, gonna go walk my dog later. Life's not too bad right now.

>>36422128
I'm taking lamictal but unless your similarity with 2016 me extends to undiagnosed bipolar it's probably not gonna do much for you
It's shitty factory work and it sucks ass but the pay is decent and I don't have to talk to anyone
Life is decent

>>36416352
I'm 19 year old and never held hands with a girl. How should I feel?

Im 20, high school drop out, no gf and cant finish driver license for 1 year...

19, no gf, virgin, can't drive, depressed, no money, about to drop out of college...Fucked up is the term for it I guess??

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>>36416352
I unironically want to kill myself, I'm so lonely it hurts, I have no friends and aside from profs calling on me at uni I haven't spoken to anyone in months (which I'm failing anyway), all I ever get is shit fucking normie advice, "lol just talk to people nigga it aint hard", "jus b urself" etc, but I literally can't, any attempts to talk to people just turns into me spilling spaghetti or literally forgetting how to speak and the other person looking at me like an alien. I think I might actually be autistic and just passed through childhood undiagnosed.

>>36416352
I am doing fan fucking tastic, I am editing a memorial video for Eric and Dylan.

I am contemplating suicide. Sick of my 9-5:30 job that barely covers my student loans. I feel trapped, unappreciated, and lonely. I had been helping take care of my grandma but she is in hospice care now. She was the only family I had who lived in the area. I have no friends and soon I will have no family.

>>36416352
>28
>enrolled in college but have completely stopped giving a shit
>sit around playing video games all day
>don't really enjoy the video games that much

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Sorry if my English is bad but i'm not an English native speaker

I never felt so good, I'm 18, I have no friends since the age of 13 and I feel so fucking good, God i hate people, I hate social intercouses, I hate women I hate everyone and it feels so good to be alone, just with myself i love myself, I have paranoia and I am the only person i can trust in, people make me so fucking uncomfortable

Anyone here loves to be alone ?

I wake up in the morning and consider suicide.
Every day I come home from work and look longingly at my window, but I'm too pussy to an hero.
I'm fine

>>36416352
Why do you care? Fuck off.

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>>36417667
I know that feel all too well. Life is a meme.

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>>36417802
Are you me?

Come here.

>>36423012
I work 9-7 with a two hour commute.

It's suffering my friend.

I am drunk

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>>36416352
I am becoming more content, I am currently in a wheel chair for a year. I am trying to stop complaining and feeling bad for my circumstances.

>>36420522
>It slipped once, really horribly, in my first year at university

Please elaborate, friend. I implore you.

>>36422710
>I unironically want to kill myself, I'm so lonely it hurts, I have no friends and aside from profs calling on me at uni I haven't spoken to anyone in months (which I'm failing anyway), all I ever get is shit fucking normie advice, "lol just talk to people nigga it aint hard", "jus b urself" etc, but I literally can't, any attempts to talk to people just turns into me spilling spaghetti or literally forgetting how to speak and the other person looking at me like an alien. I think I might actually be autistic and just passed through childhood undiagnosed.
> I'd say try to learn to speak in public, it took me a couple years to learn how to speak.
Have you considered getting a coach?

>>36423859
luckily i only live a 10 minute walk from my work.

>>36416352
Terribly bored with life, and currently quitting smoking and drinking (not through my own will, but through complete lack of funds, I'm broke).
Considering offing myself for the past year or two, but don't want my little sister to grow up all traumatised.
Life's good, anons.

>>36421421
Leave dumb bitch. You know nothing about our feels.

I'm unsuccessful.

On a scale of 1 to 10, probably like a 5. Soon to be 9 once that DXM kicks in.

>>36423935
I envy you mate.

I just want a short commute.

>>36416352
More miserable then I have ever been, fucking can't stand my job anymore. All I want to do is smoke and drink and then hopefully die. I can't take this life anymore.

I've finally had enough free time to play the guitar for a satisfying amount of time and it feels great. Feeling like Django Reinhardt right now

>>36423935
Forgot to ask, what do you do?

what am i supposed to say to her? im too scared that something between us wont work out. we've never even met in person. but ive thought of her every day for the last few months. and before that she was just buried inside my heart as a hurt from the past. i didnt even think i would be able to like her again, and i surely didnt expect to be obsessed. if i dont do something soon she will just fall back into another relationship for sure. why is the feeling of love so painful and draining?

>>36423981
Quit the job, theirs always other ones and you willl be happier.

>>36423989
I just stared to play the drums again, I am enjoying it what kind of music do you enjoy?

>>36423998
I work for a state govt. I analyze financial impacts of various proposed legislation.

>>36416352
I receive my paycheck tomorrow.
I will purchase a shotgun, ammunition, and kill myself on the side of the road.
I'm happy my pain will end.

>>36424003
Some can't afford that luxury.

I wish I could leave my job, but I got bills to pay. I need money. By the way I'm not the guy you're replying to.

I'm a 30 year old NEET who still lives at home. So pretty bad

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>>36416352
I've got a great job. Video games look better than ever before. I'm able to effort moving out soon.
It's all I ever wanted! And I'm unable to enjoy any of it because I've mutilated my face many years ago. I spend every living second in regret, even as I'm sleeping I think about it.

>>36416352
Well yeah, not good. I noticed that everything we know that isn't nature and logic was created by humans. Every fucking shit. I mean, I knew it before but really realizing it is different. Language, mathematics, everything that has ever happened in history. Atheism and nihilsm is really doing me bad but I won't get religious.

I came to the realization that I displaced losing my friends too much. Them having new friends and not talking to me anymore hurts me more than I thought it would. Even though I still have my family it's not the same as having friends. It's slowly killing me inside.

I don't even know how I live my future life. I don't want to have a woman in my life, that might change, but it's not the case right now. I don't know how I would buy all the stuff to survive on my own in my place. You might laugh now because you know it will happen intuitive but I really have no reason to live anymore. I'm broken and I don't even want to fix it. My worldview is being like this for years now, I'm not even bad at school nor do I give up but I'm sure I soon will.

>>36424027
Ew, sounds boring anon.

At least your commute is short.

My job is a mailroom technician. I don't get home until 9PM.

>>36424031
My bad I did not mean to reply to the wrong person. What do you do for hobbies?

>>36424046
> I've mutilated my face many years ago
story?

>>36420128
hit me up anon

http://steamcommunity.com/id/cypher208

maybe we can be friends

>>36424078
How do I add on steam I am confused on the layout. sorry

>>36424068
Not that exciting. I spend my teens in insanity in which I showered 3 hours a day for years. The soap I used fucked up my skin, hair, everything.
It's easy to blame it on somebody else, and I'm not going to, but.. why didn't my parents stop me..? Why did they just let me do it, day in day out? Why didn't they fucking do anything, Anon?

>>36424062
Gunpla model building. I like collecting keycaps for some reason too. GTA is fun, same with some mobas. Of course, I can only.enjoy this on the weekends.

>>36420522
steam anon, hit me up if you wanna talk or do stuff

>>36416352
I'm getting closer to suicide. Yet I want to escape it more.

Alright. Been thinking a little about who I'd give what to if/when I kill myself. Playin' some video games too.

>>36416352
dunno if I even feel right now
I just want to go home

>>36424144
Sounds rough anon but I was worried something awful had happened with a knife or something. Is there any treatment you can use/get? Yeah sounds like your parents didnt really have much of a handle on you back then. How old are you now? How is your relationship with them?

>>36417376
I thought I would make friends in uni. Or at least talk to people. I haven't talked to a single person my age since my friends left high school in 2012.
Also failed every class this year so I'll probably drop out. I have ten days to sign up for a different bachelor, but I don't think I will. That means I'll start in 2018 at the earliest and I've wasted five years of my life. I assume my classmates from high school finish uni this year if they haven't already.

>>36424163
>Gunpla model building. I like collecting keycaps for some reason too. GTA is fun, same with some mobas. Of course, I can only.enjoy this on the weekends.
What is your job, I enjoy playing gta, anime, drums and playing the piano on the weekends.

>>36424248
I am too afraid to even enroll in college, I did not do too well in math and I barley passed the classes. I want to try though so I filled out some forms.

>>36420694
Dont give up anon, dont do like me. Im 20 and still in hs, because i repeated two years, and if i dont pass two final exams i will be here another year.

>>36424026
Cool! Drums must be really satisfying to play also. Who's your favorite drummer? I like almost every genre - jazz, classical, rock, hip-hop, traditional music, folk, ambient, you name it. With my guitar I mostly play blues, metal, jazz and bossa I guess
Here's an improv
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1OYkCvqk2tk
it's full of mistakes but don't bully

>>36416352
shit
went out of my comfort zone
got a job, my boss can't stand my slow nature wants to fire me but can't because i am a quiet nice guy. Lost weight worked out, tried to meet girls, nothing more than just basic friends, also I am failure in the eyes of my parents.
I am slowly killing my ability to feel any other emotion or to sympathize with people.
I only care now for a cat that comes in the early morning to feed her at the front of the office i work at and a couple of pigeons that i feed on my window . That is the only time i feel remotely normal.
i basically stopped working out recently, gained weight back, started smoking again. But I don't drink anymore due to the fact that i do it alone and it makes me feel like shit.

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>>36416352
>inb4 feel like shit

I just got back from an Army recruiting center after considering it for over two years but really looking into it the past year. Now within the past month it's all I can think about, so I finally got the courage to go there instead of fantasizing. I wanted to be a veterinary technician there. Before getting into it I asked if people with seizures can join, they said only if I've been cured and off the medicine for five years.

I've been on medicines since I was 8, INCREASING the doses because it wouldn't work, there's no way I'll ever be off of it. I knew there was a fair chance they'll say no and it's my fault for hyping myself up since last year. Now I don't even want to work out anymore.....what's the point? Having extreme strength goes towards nothing. I'm stuck at my shitty job, will never make my family proud, and I'll never make anything of my life. All I know is that I can't get drafted.

At least I can say I tried.......right?

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>>36424189
I'd trade everything to have it been a knife accident. I'm 22 now. And as for the relationship with my folks, they're good people, and that's why I hate them still having to be around me. I'm still too ashamed. I make eye contact with 'em so rarely that each time I do, they've visibly aged.

And how are you doing? Which one of these is yours?

>>36424309
Neil pert
you seem good, i enjoy the calmness.
i have played for about 6 years but I struggle with playing quickly and I do not know how to roll or play basic rudiments. I am about to get a teacher to help me get better.

My boss ridiculed me in front of all my coworkers today and I can't stop seething over it. All I did was call his attention to the time because I didn't want to miss my bus.

I hate this fat fucking faggot but I need the experience.

>>36424309
where are you from I have been looking to learn to play with others.

>>36424346
this>>36424037 is me. I have very bad self harm scars all over my arms. The anxeity I have about them is terrible and the thought of working or meeting new people freaks me out because eventually they'd have to find out. I wish I could go back in time and give myself a slap desu

>>36416352
Pretty mixed. My autistic flatmate just dropped our lease, leaving me with less than a week to find somewhere to live but my career is on the right track.

>>36416352
Im feeling sort of down. None of my hobbies really seem all that appealing anymore. If this feeling blows over soon it mightve just been nothing but if not i might need to check out depression symptoms

>>36424373
I am not you but i would not take that, try to get him alone and talk to him about how to treat you?

>>36424100
you login into steam from your web browser and add me there

or you can try searching through the steam client itself, if you do that I suggest looking up the replica soldiers group and adding me from there cause it'll probably be easier

>>36416352
Sad and fucking irritated.
I don't know what to do anymore and i just want to stay home and not do anything anymore.

>>36424424
Ok great, I do not play many games but whatever you guys have ill get.

>>36424392
>I wish I could go back in time and give myself a slap desu
You and me both.
Sorry to hear it, Non.

>>36424386
Paris
>>36424367
>I do not know how to roll or play basic rudiments
Probably a good idea to get a teacher I guess
What do you think about the drum solo that begins about 6:30
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wW_dYLcate4

I'm very happy as of late
my girlfriend, being a non-normie, is very understanding and loves me dearly. Her words always brighten up my day

>>36424417
He does it to everyone and only gets worse when someone does anything about it. Trying to get another job atm and going to college in the fall so it should all be fine in the long run.

>>36424485
>What do you think about the drum solo that begins about 6:30
I like how he rolls everywhere around the kit and has independence.
What kind of music is more along like this?
I have been trying to find more inspiration instead of rock.

>>36424270
I work mailroom for a media company in NYC.

I hate it.

I want more time to just think. I get home at 9. I make noodles, shower, and then I get into bed.

I'm so tired.

>>36424505
Then good you're taking imitative, i'd like to say these types of people get whats coming to them but 9/10 they never see discipline. I am too going to school in the fall. It took me a while to decide since i feel a little embarrassed being in a wheel chair.
What is the intership for?

>>36424537
>I want more time to just think. I get home at 9. I make noodles, shower, and then I get into bed.
I work basic secruity I have too much time to think. What makes you the most happiest?

Feeling kind of bad
I got high yesterday/today for 420 and being an idiot let my family know
I did some autistic shit and they were disappointed
I feel better than I have in awhile other than that tho

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For the last 5 years i keep descending towards the Robot life. I have phases where I feel good and manage to get back to beeing quite normie like.But atm I just got out from a down phase and fear that i might reach the point of no return soon.

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Angry and sad as fuck. Even if I "get my shit together" I still think I'm going to feel this way, I'll just be making more money. I suppose that's an improvement though I guess. I don't think I'm ever gonna find someone because even if someone liked me I'd just push them away with my depression and anger problems. Fuck it time for a lot of vodka and dude weed lmao.

I always want to live in USA. Im from Europe, get high school drop out and im working in factory. No money and no chances for visa. Gg

>>36424595
i struggle with self pity and anger issues, I usually would push people away all the time. I am not saying this about your situation but doing a little bit each day different slowly makes me feel at least a bit content with myself.

>>36416352
Giving myself purpose by preparing for school in some six months. I'm going to fuck the hottest girl in the entire school, I've already decided that. Currently reading up, dieting and training. This loneliness comes to an end now.

>>36416352
Not good.
Joined the military hoping it would magically change something. It stresses me the fuck out, I've wasted two years of my life for nothing.
I never talk to my high school friends any more
I don't talk to my family any more.
Exercising isn't fun.
Socializing isn't fun.
Reading isn't fun.
Aimlessly browsing the internet isn't fun.
I work, get off work and think about killing myself.

>>36416352
Ran out of money for anti psychotics only have a days worth left. im going to have to start smoking again if i dont figure out a way to get enough money

>>36424653
I almost joined and was denied 4 times.
What is your job, where are you at, what do you look forward to other than suicide obviously?

>>36424559
Its a construction job. Everyone else I've worked with has been chill, but this guy just seems to take his frustrations out on everyone.

>>36424520
>What kind of music is more along like this?
Well, you know, jazz
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2IQNPlnc9c0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNoLbP5s-68
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VL_6IVSGmks

>>36424704
that is how I felt when I hurt my back I would take out my anger on my own mother, I am still dealing with the pain, i would get out of their if he attacks you directly to be surrounded by a negative person really destroys your self worth.

>>36424690
Is this an American healthcare thing?

>>36424710
I know I was just trying to find more guitar type, I do not listen to music a lot I am trying.
What else do you enjoy?

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It's always when I start to wonder why I felt down in the first place that it begins to hit me all over again. I'm 23. I'm supposed to be a person and do things, but I don't. I spend every day escaping life, and my life isn't even bad. I hate myself and want to die, but I also don't want to be dead. Sometimes I think that things would be so much easier if I just had cancer or something.

>>36424692
Supply, Texas. I thought it would be more physical, but it's only interacting with people and computer work.
Absolutely nothing man, I work 12-13 hours a day and when I get off I just think about work the next day.

>>36424653
The ride never ends man. I just wish I could have a beer with any of you guys, I just for once want a
physical conversation that has substance.

Tbh I'm feeling slightly better for about a month now..

Started going out with this girl I met recently (still didn't make the move tho, but I enjoy her company), also started preparing for the new uni, since I dropped out last year and been a NEET since.

Also feeling less anxious after I started smoking weed 3 times a week again (haven't been smoking for a year and a half).

But in the last couple of months, safe haven of playing vidya started to crumble... Don't really know why, but nowadays I get bored extremely fast, especially with the new vidya that I haven't played before..

To conclude, if I fail to start a relationship with this girl, I plan on focusing on the work for the new uni and cooling off with my attempts with girls for about half a year. If I fail the entrance exam I don't really know what I'm gonna do.. Probably try working as a waiter or something.

>>36424837
>Absolutely nothing man, I work 12-13 hours a day and when I get off I just think about work the next day.
Damn that is the job I was getting until I was canned last month. It was going to be in a texas. How is the life on a base do you have frieinds.?

>>36424803
I'm beginning to think no-one actually has purpose. I guess other people are just okay with a dead-end job and a
day-to-day grind, the highlights consisting of video game releases and new Ikea furniture.

Ignorance is bliss, I guess.

>>36421993
That's arguably the best PS2 US mix.

My personal favorite is DDR Extreme (JP). Has 108 songs. I used to play 1 hour on Diet mode daily, for fun and exercise, now I can't even do 30 minutes without wanting to die. Played 8 footers and 9 footers.

I'm not fat btw.

>>36424891
Yeah I dunno. I wish I could see an alternative to the rest of my life consisting of making somebody else a bunch of money doing something I'll almost certainly not enjoy while also dealing with stress, anxiety, and self-loathing only to die alone 60 years later. Like, I don't fucking wanna deal with it. I don't plan on getting past 30, honestly.

>>36424767
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GW2pFhSo8Cg guitar jazz
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3s3dne0d8Q fusion
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pr1iOyuegpY latin jazz (I like the hi-hat stuff)

On another note
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rz9Y8s2EVKU japanese punk-jazz
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3Xn2MTFheY japanese math rock

I don't know man I like too much music I can't just tell you what I like
I have thousands of albums on my computer

>>36424997
I meant other hobbies, what else do you like? I enjoy working out or anime sometimes I try to learn more highschool math in my free time.

>>36424580
I like law enforcement or computer hardware.

I like repairing stuff and fixing it from the ground up. I know repairing computers isn't exactly a profession that pays very well. Law enforcement sounds neat but it I have Colitis so it's not an option for me.

>>36420341
>I am impulsive and a bad procrastinator, hooked up to instant gratification.
Everybody is you fucking faggot. If you put off a project due in 1 month you get rewarded 29 times and punished once. No human being has not had this problem.

I've been up and down a lot this week. I met a girl a couple weeks back and things were going well. This is the closest to being in a relationship I've been and only the second girl I've liked both personally and romantically. She said she's been super busy and it's mid term season so it's believable but her lack of/delayed responses make me think I'm just being ignored. I feel very sad at times and can't do anything but sleep, the rest of the time i spend telling myself that i shouldn't care even if things don't work out and to just look at the positives that came from the experience.

>>36425053
>Colitis
I cant join law enforcement due to my back so I can see how you feel. I do not know what I enjoy besides basic hobbies as drums and piano. Are you using you considering higher education?

NEET here. Went on Facebook earlier and saw old friends having fulfilled lives. Been thinking about suicide whole day.

Shyters- have alcohol problem, kicked weed 3 months ago after 15 years. Now on amphetamine alcohol and the dreaded nicotine. Send help.

>>36424960
I'm the exact fucking boat you're in. Not sure what my 30th birthday will bring, but it's a cointoss between
suicide and something outrageously extreme.

>>36425113
See, that's why I don't use facebook. It's a corporate scheme for indoctrination anyway.

Got asked on a date, they suggest we both bring a friend to be safe, I don't have any friends
what can I even do in this situation, should I cancel

Take a hooker

>>36425041
I am not sure what my hobbies are anymore. I'm transitioning to adulthood so I have little free time. I'm doing translation at uni, an internship at the ministry for finance and some video game translation / sound effects / soundtrack work on the side (not that often but still).
I like anime but barely watch it anymore, I like video games but barely play anymore, I like reading, working out, watching movies... Ideally I'd like to brush up on my japanese, my chinese and my C# also.
Why are you interested in math? What are your favorite anime?

>>36425177
You either tell the truth or cancel. I'd just say my friends are busy.

>>36425128
I don't even want to make it that far, honestly. But I probably will anyway. Sorry you could relate, dude. It's an odd mix of bad and good feels knowing other people feel the same way.

Be 33. Will be even worse every year that goes by. Just kys now.

>>36425228
>Why are you interested in math? What are your favorite anime?
I am interested in math because I do not know it, I want to become better at it because my goal is to enroll into school this fall. I am considering either accounting or cyber security.
As of now my favorite anime is a tie between K-on and Clannad, I just finished clannad first season

JUST KYS NOW. YOU WILL HAVE TO CHOOSE 3 STORE FRONTS OR 3 SIGNS FOREVER

>>36416352
Never worked professionally in my life, got my associate's coming, I haven't slept well recently, and I'm taking a break from playing old school runescape since I'll be helping a relative move within the next couple weeks. I'm just chilling, browsing 4chan and playing a mix of Killing Floor 1, TF2 and Overwatch on occasion.
Could be less chaotic schedule-wise but I'm pretty good.

>>36417625
How?
Originale comentario

Kinda off as of lately. I have the cutest robot bf but I'm constantly afraid of hurting him on one of my aggresive rampages. Failing everything at school, while a year ago I was a honor student. Just spent like 400 USD in less than 10 days. Couldn't even eat today. Life seems distant and I'm emotionally dead by daylight, feeling too much at nightime.

>8 inch cock
>fucked my brain up with drugs
>if I'm off my meds I get panic attacks when I masturbate masochistically
>can't be masochistic without drugs

My life is a train wreck in comparison to my siblings. Doesn't matter I've basically given up at this point. Being stupid and making bad decisions got me to this point in life.

I mean, the popular kids (who I was once a leader of) at school wanted me to hang out with them but I rejected them because I didn't like how they treated me and I don't forget.

Not many kids would do that. I had a different heart, and even that is no longer as strong as it used to be (because of drugs)

Thinking of killing myself but I don't cry anymore because of the lithium.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sxhcvIjc58&feature=youtu.be

>>36416352
Surprisingly not total shit. Though these past few days have been a roller coaster ride. Female coworker gave me her number and I asked her out for coffee a few days later and she said yes. I'm not sure if I'm turning it around but it feels good senpai.

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Ive gotten better looking as I have gotten older,I work a pretty physically demanding job and It is defiantly starting to show,Hands have become like Vice grips,arms are getting bigger and My shoulders are looking bigger and stronger.

Women have been Glancing my way more and more and now some will have a good good look at me while smiling but Im not used to this. I was a very fat social outcast and neet for a while so I know myself Im quite bitter towards women I dont know.

Had an incident a few years ago with the first girl who told me she loved me which almost led to me being thrown into jail for rape until one of her friends actually took my side and cleared my name. I find myself terrified of women after this and I cant seem to get past it no matter how much I try to think it through or sort it out.


Its gotten to the point where If a girl even does all the work for me I get afraid of history repeating itself and sometimes I cant even keep it up.


It seems even now that my hand is well stacked to win I just cant seem to play my cards right. I need a girl to help me trust them again but no girl wants a broken man.


Just sad times really.

>>36418042
you are controlling reality anon

>>36425288
>I am interested in math because I do not know it
Wisest motivation of all I suppose
>accounting or cyber security
I have a friend who's doing cyber security. He gets paid outrageously well - that said, he's one of the best at what he does. I'd do that if I were you but that's because I find programming much more interesting than accounting.
I'm a big fan of K-On too. Don't know about Clannad. My other favorites would be Durarara, Detroit Metal City, steins;gate, maybe Ano Hi Mita Hana no Namae wo Bokutachi wa Mada Shiranai. I've watched plenty of slice of life stuff that I forget about nowadays. Like Kokoro Connect, Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai, Denpa Onna to Seishun Otoko. I wish I had enough time to watch more anime.

>>36425579
>I'm a big fan of K-On too. Don't know about Clannad. My other favorites would be Durarara, Detroit Metal City, steins;gate, maybe Ano Hi Mita Hana no Namae wo Bokutachi wa Mada Shiranai. I've watched plenty of slice of life stuff that I forget about nowadays. Like Kokoro Connect, Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai, Denpa Onna to Seishun Otoko. I wish I had enough time to watch more anime.
Kokoro connect is forgettable for me.
I really enjoy k-on it makes me feel happy.

I've been out of work for about half a year so i have a lot of time. Detriot metal city is nice too!
I did horrible at math because I never understood the basics.

>>36425450
> used to be the leader of the popular kids

worst feel because you know deep down all you had to do was fucking be normie, keep your ego in check and not screw up like a fucking retard and youd be not only normie, but normie king.

And then you know deep down you can never be accepted by them again because they literally watched you descend from the best into a piece of shit

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>broke up with loving and caring gf because a part of me thought I could have better while the other part of me knew I was deluding myself and didn't want to drag her down with me when I would miserably fail at life
>getting shit grades in all the exams I'm doing and ruining my grades, even in Math and ChemOrg where I used to excel
>next exam session is next week and passed the last week procrastinating
>heavy smoker and since two weeks ago I've been coughing no stop, since last week I've been starting to cough up small amounts of blood

I feel like I can't escape my fate of failure

>>36425110
I have a degree, but it's in communications. I can't stand it anymore.

Sorry for the late responses, I'm packing up and leaving for the day finally.

How'd you hurt your back?

>>36424764
Yea because i dont have insurance because obama made my rates to were i cant afford and obama care doesnt cover my meds

>>36425288
>Clannad
Overrated. They told me "wait until After Story, that's when shit gets real". It gets real shit yeah.

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>>36416352
Im fucking terrible, tried getting past my anxiety to talk to this girl and of course i fucked up like i do every time

This world just wasnt made for people like me

>>36416352
Currently imagining how I could slit my throat and violently push a knife into my heart but I know I'd never do it so its pretty comfy to think about.

>>36426003
I bugled a disc working out and didnt know my femur and tibia bones were rotated and caused my back to take all the brunt of the weight.
I am getting surgery to be in a wheel chair for next year, I am nervous going to college looking disabled.

>>36427366
Shit man, that's horrible.

Are you getting fusion done?

>>36427604
No I am getting my miserable malaglignment of my legs corrected. My back will heal on its own in time. gotta stay positive.

>>36425113
It's a manufactured image. I'm not saying they aren't happier than you, but you can't tell that from whatever is on their Facebook wall.

>>36427642
Holy hell.

I'm sorry anon, that's horrible. Are you going to be able to walk again?

>>36427739
From what I hear it'll be 8 to 13 months in a wheel chair, I will not be able to drive or walk until then. I am having difficulties walking now the pain in my legs is tremendous the doctors near me say they will not do the surgery as it is not life threatening and i have to deal with it. That means I have to go all the way to Chicago or new York to get the surgery done.
I am hopeful from what I see the surgery is a success and that means I can walk normal and have no pain ill do it.

Bad.

I'm so strapped for cash I might consider being a regular loterry player. Living rent free temporarily. Part time working Saturday and sunday only, 24 hours.

I wouldn't be able to handle 60 hours. My company will set me for 60 if I ask so I have to stay at 24 (8 on sat 16 on sun).

I don't see a way out. I'm lucky I even got this job. Scared, anxious, overweight,

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>>36416352
Blacked out on benzos last night. Woke up to find Mom pretty amused with me.

Apparently we had an hour-long conversation about /r9k/ and how fat I thought I was. I fell asleep on her bed, she woke me up, then I refused to go to bed until I made a pizza. She just watched and made sure I didn't burn myself.

I also took a bunch of shrooms in my benzo haze and woke up with the world flowing around me. I'm even more sleep deprived now than I was yesterday.

>>36427820
Damn. The Hospital for Special Surgery might be able to take care of you honestly. They fixed my mother's back when she broke it and needed to be repaired.

I wish you the best anon, I really do. Don't give up.

>>36428556
I have looked into it, I only have medicaid. i appreciate your kind advice. I am not giving up I dont want to complain anymore its getting to the point where I pushed everyone away complaining.

Right now I just feel like

"fuck"

>>36428556
If it means I can walk with out pain ill do it. I just do not know if they accept medicaid from out of state.

>>36416352
I've totally lost a coherent sense of identity. It's got to the stage where isolation has made me completely lose touch with whoever I was before it, I'm so used to living through anonymous accounts with different personalities that my default response to real life is to retreat into another identity the second things go wrong.

Example:
>fall out with high school friend
>mind scrambles & removes him from memory
>personality changes and any remaining connection is lost forever
>mind alters within days to the point where I 100% believe the lie
>truth comes out at a later time but damage is done

I don't even know if what I remember is real or just a cover now. I want to understand human company & affection but I don't have a singular identity for someone to connect with. It's tearing me up at present.

>>36416352
I need to sleep more and do right by myself to get things done but I keep procrastinating and wasting my time and I have for years. I've heard numerous pieces of advice on how to fix my situation but I feel like I'm doomed to never actualize on it all. It's like everything I read is only good for impressing my grandma at 7 PM when Jeopardy comes on. I sometimes think I can't ever change my life and the way I am.

Aside from that I'm ok.

>>36428600
I feel you. I'm trying to complain less but it's hard for me too. Crohn's makes everything shitty, literally. I shit so much and the pain is so bad that I think of ending it daily. But I have to learn this won't kill me. Well, it might if I get a blockage, but I need to survive.

>>36428793
I'm unsure really, I'd check. They might, they have taken international patients.

>>36429020
>I feel you. I'm trying to complain less but it's hard for me too. Crohn's makes everything shitty, literally. I shit so much and the pain is so bad that I think of ending it daily. But I have to learn this won't kill me. Well, it might if I get a blockage, but I need to survive.
What are your hobbies

>>36429043
I said before I think, gunpla building, vidya, anime, keycap collecting etc.

It just takes the edge off and I focus on other things besides my bowels and work.

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>>36416352
Pretty shitty, friends are hanging out this Saturday and I don't think I'm gonna be invited.

>>36429133
>It just takes the edge off and I focus on other things besides my bowels and work.
What is gunpla?

>almost done with 2nd year of college
>made no friends since starting college
I'm pretty surprised at how comfy it is to not have friends.
If I was financially secure then I wouldn't mind living alone for the rest of my life.

But because i'm in college i have to deal with niggers and normies on a daily basis
I'm starting to get tired of the normies and their ignorance of reality.
Luckily I have summer to look forward to so I can relax away from the normies.

>>36429179
It's building Gundam models. It's expensive, won't lie, but it's a lot of fun. Detailing, some painting etc.

I have a few and they take a lot of time but I spend my weekends doing it mainly.

>>36429240
where do you get the parts?

>>36416352
fucking TERRIBLE, even though things aren't as bad as they used to be, thanks for asking

>>36429264
GundamPlanet for me.

I visited the store last week and dropped 300 ona models there. They all come in a kit. It's all plastic but some parts require glue or cement to get it to stick together.

>>36416352
at a crossroads 34 wiz neet. either keep drinking or try to better myself as some of my friends tell me. I want to try but I know the normie life isnt for me. The only way I can be social is through the consumption, they dont understand and nobody does in the end.

>>36416352

I need to talk to someone, anyone. I feel like I'm going insane.

I feel like giving up on school. I don't have any real friends except 2 people. It's hard for me to fit in anywhere. I have anxiety when I talk because I'm constantly made fun of cause of my lisp.
It's too much, other than that I'm fine.

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>>36416352
I just want to feel something. Sadness, happiness, anything. How do I function in life if nothing moves me?

>>36416352
everything in my life is going good. I can't escape sadness. I'm at a good school and i have a qt3.14 gf but I find it hard to keep smiling. I can't bring myself to do work. Bursts of energy come and go. What's wrong with me

monetarily wonderful. i could move out if i had any sort of drive past working for my parents 10 hours a day 6 days a week. socially and mentally it's still going downhill, but it's still in the realm of being an enjoyable degradation.

got prescribed adderal even though i dont have adhd, way easier than i thought it would be.
started out on 15mg but can move it up next month if i want to

dont take it every day but if i have tons of shit to do or just want to hyper focus on doing something productive ill take it and ride the amphetamine all day.

8/10 would reccomend, you build up a quick tolerance and can crash hard if you take to much at one time (will literally feel like cocaine)

>>36430672
oooo nigga you gonna lose your mind

>seen kids on addy go crazy

have fun rambling and being annoying unless you keep to yourself and then have fun going insane. word of warning anon trust me that this will not end good.

>>36430756
know quite a few people on addy, some with adhd, some with add, some with nothing.

but yeah, youre right, a well known prescribed drug infrequently with low dosage will 100% turn me into a schizo

>>36416352
reaching the end.

Miserable.
I feel horrible
I want to die

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I overcome my madness, i feel great again. tomorow i will go out and find a job. or just hang out somewhere. and even live outside if i have to.

im just getting over a break up and want to date again but have no idea how to fucking do it. 6 year relationship that started when we were 17 and she broke up with me for an 18 year old she met online, were both 24. im completely fucking retarded and hate going to bars and shit like that so im either going to do okcupid roulette or die alone

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>>36430813
dont say I dindnt warn ya pal

>>36416352
I feel like I'm missing something. I can't tell if I want school to be over because I'm just done with school or because I don't care anymore, that I don't care about my future and I just want off this ride. I feel like a failure. I've lied to my parents about my effort in school, about how I've asked for help, about how I applied for internships. I've been given all these things in life and I've just squandered them away. I've lied to them about all of it and now I hate myself. I just want to be done with this shit. I don't know if it's school or life but I can't handle this anymore. I think I'm just a pussy and whining because I fucked myself over for not studying as hard early in the semester. I just wish I cared about it, I wish I didn't like playing video games. I wish I was smarter about my decisions. I wish I could go back. I'm sorry Dad, I messed up. I lied to you. I didn't do anything of things you wanted me to because I'm a lazy piece of shit. Because I don't care and I'd rather play video games. I'm sorry for wasting your money on me, you've got to out two more kids through college and you're wasting your time on a failure like me. I don't deserve any of it. And I don't deserve you and Mom.

Sorry for the blog post, I just needed to get it out.

>>36416352
I want to kill myself sometimes but I don't want my family to be sad.

>>36431115
get into a trade school my man welding or some shit hands on. trust me its what gamers where meant to do.

out of reasons to fucking live.

Pretty bad.
I feel like I want to throw up and cry but I don't know why. My stomach hurts and I'm getting noticeably fatter.

>>36424003
I finally worked up the courage to quit, funny I kept the job because I didn't want my mom to worry about me. I feel like freedom is just around the corner, I'm sorry mom I'll never be the man you would have liked me to become.

>>36416823
You are exactly like my brother.

All things considered I'm doing all right

>>36424144
Please post a picture.
Oregano.

>>36425113
Fagbook niggers always capture the highlights of their lives and make it seem like that's average for them.

>>36416352

gonna have to cram hard the next two weeks, turn in all my finals
then go back to work at my wagie job
chill around until the lease is up and then move back in with my parents

ive been better desu
could be worse i guess

My parents weren't meant to make a child man fuck, they were both socially awkward cunts who lived 3000 miles away so the chances of them meeting were slim in the first place, and then they create this fuck up of a person who will spend the rest of their life doing shitty jobs

I don't want to go to fucking college and I'm too stupid to start a business, i want to kill myself but I don't want anyone else to feel at blame for my own fuckups

>>36425113
There isn't any reason for you to try to compete with them. You should live, or die, because it's what YOU want, not because someone expects it of you.

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>>36416352
There's a qtpa2t in my entomology lab and she's really smart and dresses nice. She dressed particularly nice today, too.

The semester is almost over and it's now setting in that I'll likely never see her again after the semester is over. I hate how easily I get crushes on people.

who else here /FallnLoveEasily/?

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im ok, i dont feel sad or happy really. just kinda empty waiting for something meaningful to happen to me

>>36416352
Everything rides on my next fucking drug test, and if I fail, I might become homeless. If I become homeless, I might fucking kill myself.

>>36416352
I'm studying and doing quite good but not as good as I would like

and I've been obsessing over a cute closeted faggot I've met

I want to try gay stuff with him

and that's driving me crazy

Super stressed out, really really busy, this is the only day this week I can just come home after school and not have other shit going on. I just want one girls that cares about me, just one girl that wants me, I tears me apart knowing I go after girls that will never love me back

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>>36416352
>Recently thrusted into the normies domain to continue schooling
>live in a dorm with tons of other people
>lived here before but broke a bone and sent on medical leave
>come back with low expectations of finding a girl
>instantly first week randomly start connecting with girl
>shes perfect
>like we have known each other forever
>finally feel like I can get out of this hell and be with somebody in this shitty world
>everything going smoothly
>get dropped a bomb
>her old boy friend recently came back into her life
>she is loyal to him again
>our feelings were mutual but she chose him
I was so close /r9k/.... So close. I thought I finally found her I was so certain but I was just a fucking idiot. I so desperately wish to find her somewhere out there but I shut myself away from these emotions. Now they have been restarted and I feel like shit. I cannot escape this hell, it's my god damn fate.

Extremely lonely and sad. No one will ever want or accept me.

even more sad than usual
my coworkers the other day kept asking me about girlfriends and me being too honest ended up addmitting im a gf-less virgin and now they wont stop talking to me about girls and giving dumb advice and pointing random ones out saying "go talk to her anon she looks pretty good" or just lecturing me on things to do with a girl or just talking to a girl, most of it is stuff i already know about because my parents say the exact same things only in english

i honestly wish i couldve just lied to them like i have with everyone else about that one thing because i know that thats the one thing that people wont let go about me when i admit it
theyre all married with kids and im the odd one out
also today i caught two lizards and they started fucking. makes me even more sad. i want to die.

gf broke up with me a few hours ago
i'm fine i suppose
things were shit anyway

>>36417758
Don't be that guy, anon. They're counting on you! Even if you can't turn in your own assignments (which is understandable), you have to do your best for your collaborator. It's only fair

>>36432457
Why don't you talk to her, anon? Just because school is the only setting in which you can see her now, doesn't mean you can't take the first step to see her outside of it.

Even though it's obviously not that simple, just do it! Make your intention clear and ask, the answer is no if you don't try

>>36416352
Constantly thinking about how much I hate life and want to die. I'm 18, but too scared to buy a gun, so I'm just waiting for the end I guess. I want something that is 100%

>>36428800
What's your primary coping mechanism?

I don't like life lads

Tfw the manic phase of bipolar kicks in

>>36416352
Pretty not ok. More and more confused and upset daily. Frustration increases. So many illogical things.

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I'm pretty.... bad.

Constantly depressed. No sense of direction or hope. I moved in with my best friend and he's been supporting me, but I only wonder for how long. I've been looking for a job, but I'm picky and I really shouldn't be. All the jobs around here are fucking garbage and the only good ones I applied to and I'm still waiting for. I just want to smoke weed and chill, but I can't because I need to pass these drug tests.
I also feel lost because I have these dreams of becoming a musician and starting a band and playing shows and recording music, but I fucking have no friends and I always do nothing but sit on my computer and every now and then write a song while drunk or something. I need to pursue this shit, but I have absolutely NO inspiration.
Any of you guys ever feel this way?

I'm okay. I watched this show on netflix for a few hours and it made me forget my life for awhile so that was nice. Usually when I watch things I can't really focus because my head is still racing with the same repeating thoughts but this time was different and it was great. But then when I stopped reality slammed right back at me and now I feel kinda bad but I'm thankful for the fact that I didn't all day, at least.

>>36416352
I am feeling like crap, my rheumatism is ravaging bad today, lotsa pain.

>>36435432
Medical marijuana, my nigger.

I'm having a problem as a new father going back to college. My wife doesn't understand my workload.

My wife and I have been married for 4 years and together for 7, we're both 26. We have a daughter who is 2 months old today. Wife is out of work for the foreseeable future, her job wasn't much to begin with so we're p[laying it by ear with them. I deliver food part time while taking classes (AAS. InfoSec) full time. With our daughter here I take my classes online which I really don't like; I prefer to be in-person.

The problem I'm having is my wife expects me to spend most of my time not working with our daughter or her instead of focusing on classwork. Now I never intended on neglecting my family or household chores, I don't think she understands that between work and school, two things she doesn't currently do, I don't have a lot of time to spare.

My problem is how do I approach this situation and to those who've dealt with it, what did you do?

>>36434758
Iiiiiit's theeeee mooost wonderfullll tiiiime
sorry about the resolution of all of this...

>>36434758
I could use one of those
At least it would compel me to do something

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>slept 3 hours total over the past 3 days

I am so durn tired but I have so much I still need to do and so little time to do it. I went off on a waitress yesterday. She looked horrified. The stress is insane.

>>36418533
I turn 27 this week and have spent over a decade on 4chan. How does that make you feel?

>>36424144
>>36424046
I'm getting major deja vu from this, have you posted this before? Years ago?

>>36427866
>Apparently we had an hour-long conversation about /r9k/
Christ, my mother knowing about /r9k/ is one of the worst things I can imagine.

>>36416824
>being a shut in
>going outside

right

>>36417579
>>36417665
get out

originallola

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>>36421421
>tfw a 26 year old kv hikki and your biological clock is ticking but you know you don't have the life skills to be a good wife or mother anyway

> Want a family.
Kill yourself.
And anyways, you are not a girl.
Fuck off gay cunt.

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>day off from work
>wake up at 12
>headphones on, listen to my fav ambient music and browse /r9k/
>"anon I'm going to the hairdressers I need you to get up so I can tidy your room!"
>ignore her
>comes outside my room every 20 seconds to remind me she's in a hurry

Thank you for answering.
I haven't given up, but I've definitely taken the black/grey pill. I just to be a really happy, almost joined a philanthropist organisation and moved to another country, got fucked up by philosophy, dropped out of highschool since I was so fucked up. I have troubles getting into routine, but I try really hard. I just want to help the world, but everyday is a struggle, I am literally to sensitive for this world. I will never kill myself, but I don't think I can ever be fully functional honestly.
Going into neuroscience next year I think, I am not a brainlet and I can probably become very intellectually satisfied, I just don't think I can handle being in a relationship or going to a 9-5 job. My parents love me though..

How are YOU?

I'm ready to die Anon. I realized a few weeks ago that there is no point to life unless you find one, and I haven't found one.

>>36437637
Also I am under investigation of autism/adhd, did brain scans, took tests. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me, but I'm different alright.
I show signs of high intelligence but I am emotionally very childlike too, just fuck my shit up senpai.

>>36416352
I'm a lil unhappy. I wish there was a woman that would be kind enough to become gf but that will never happen.

>>36416352
I'm fine, thank you!

I feel like I'm starting to fade. Uni is getting hard. Not because its harder than before, I can be assed to make an effort anymore. I have no budget to record music and producing is not as interesting as playing. I enjoy listening to my songs but I just got into producing and I'm way too far behind. I have no resources for my favorite hobby to be productive and I'm fucking up my career cause I hate it.

I had sex and it no longer interests me. Not as fun as I thought. Drugs lots their appeal as well. I don't know what to pursue anymore. I'm too young to die and too old to start from zero.

>>36430672
Get sleep and please don't abuse Adderall. Seriously, you will regret going down that path senpai.

>>36416352
You know that feeling that you're missing out on something, like your friends going somewhere without you?

That is all I feel now

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Recovring from the flu. I always get depressedwhen I'm sick. I might have to go back to collegebecause my mom wants me to. I don't wanna go back and I'm hoping they kick me out. I'm a KHHV. I can live in my car if I want to. I'm going to smoke weed today.