Childhood crimes thread >go to gas station with family >drink

>>36405644
>punched a deer
>punched a deer
>>36405644
>>36405644
>>36405644
>punched a deer

>>36405644
>be me ,maybe 7
>wit baby sitter
>she takes me to grocery store
>I see lemons
>yellow is my mom's faverite color
>shove a lemon down my pants
>get back to baby sitters
>playing with other kids, lemons falls out of pants
>wtfanon.jpg
>uhhh Its my lemon I've had it all day!
>babysitter is pissed that I'm lying
>she calls my parents but tells me she's calling the cops to arrest me
>have a panic attack
>mom is more mad babysitter upset me so bad than she is at me for stealing
>told her I stole it for her
>got yelled at but she took me out for ice cream

Weird day for kid me. Never stole again.

>>36405644
I once stole a book from a bookshop because having to communicate with the cashier made me feel anxious so I just walked out with it

I never read that book

>>36405735
What was the book? Something comically ironic I hope?

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>go to store/gas station with a bathroom
>get snack
>go into bathroom
>eat/drink snack
>dispose of evidence
>leave
I did this dozens of times

>>36405762
Honestly die. That shit is NOT cool

>>36405644

>be 10 year old me
>walk into store
>take a drink
>start day dreaming
>Don't know what's happening
>I'm preoccupied with my thoughts
>My body is essentially on autopilot
>walk towards register
>Turn towards the exit
>walk out with drink in hand
>Still haven't realized i didn't pay for it
>Walk like 30m away from the store
>autopilot is off
>realize that I haven't paid for the drink
>Run off in panic
>Look over my shoulder for the next 3 months
>Never went into that store again.

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>>36405644
>12 years old
>12:00am at night
>big bro tells me to get in car with his friends
>they go to Price Chopper and give me a bookbag
>all of us go to knock shit at the candy aisle off the counters and into bookbags
>employees there just fuck off and we don't get in trouble
>afterwards, bro leaves with friends but drops me off at our house
>lets me keep my bag of candy

>>36405759
>Something comically ironic I hope?
Well, I guess.
It was Bart Simpson's Guide to Life

There used to be a storage area behind this building that had a bunch of randoms shit in it. There was a boat, a lockbox with all kinds of oils and parts and shit in it, a septic trunk, and random junk like piles of bricks or rebar.

I was just fucking around with my friend and we went and opened up the lockbox(which wasn't locked), took all the oil out, and dumped it all over the ground. Then we checked the septic truck door and it was open, so we dumped all the oil we could find all over the inside. Then finally my friend whipped one of the bricks through the window and we hauled ass.

We must have come back 4 separate times to fuck it up more. We ended up pouring tar that we found in some bucket all over the boat and the truck, popping all the tires on the septic truck, breaking the passenger window, and whipping bricks at the windshield. He put out these signs telling us he was gonna catch us if he killed us, etc. I don't know how we never got caught, and we still laugh about how pissed that guy must have been.

>>36405644
>>>punched a deer
absolute madman

Main thing I did as a kid was steal things from school. Lots of dry-erase markers, just because I could. By the end of high school I had like four dozen of them. One time I walked into an empty classroom, popped open the computer, and stole the CPU and RAM out of it. (It was a Duron 750, if you're curious) I wrapped it up in typing paper as a rudimentary antistatic bag and left. I couldn't even use the shit, I gave it to my friend who was trying to scrape together enough money to upgrade his Pentium MMX. I stole a teacher's keys once. I didn't have a car or a license so I never went back to school after hours to do anything with them, I just had the chance and took them. Still have them.

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I randomly snuck into this sales office type place full of people that was in the middle of block of stores and stole like 6 boxes of donuts from their break room when I was 8.

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>>36405644
The only "crime" I committed as a kid was climbing on my roof and shooting at other kids with my paintball gun to the point where cops showed up. I was like 11. I wasn't caught and lived on a good street with a bunch of other kids around my age. This was before smartphones that ruined childhoods. I became a shut-in neet at 12 and dropped out of school at around 14 so I couldn't get in trouble even if i wanted to.

>>36405644
>stacey older sis (6 years older than me) and I are in bulkbarn (FUCKING LEAF food store)
>Dont know exactly how old I was but I was pretty young
>looking at the candy section
>sis shows me how to steal candies/snacks from the sample box things without people noticing

>be me as as kid (younger than I was in previous story)
>summer camp
>indoors
>camp has boxes of lego for kids to play with
>see piece I don't have that I want
>steal it
Pretty hardcore f a m

>>36405644
>18 years old
>talked to this girl I really like
>decide to buy some condoms just in case
>buy two bags of chips to conceal condoms
>go to the toothbrush aisle where the condoms are located.
>pretend to look at toothbrushes
>when no one was looking, quickly snatched a box of condoms and tossed it into my basket
>go to self checkout
>the condoms didn't scan
>panic and threw it into the bag
>payed for the rest of the items
>tfw I accidentally stole a box of condoms
>but it gets worse
>as I leave to catch my bus, I forget to take one of my bags losing my condoms and toothbrushes.

tl;dr. I accidentally stole condoms and lost them on the way back

>>36405644
>>punched a deer
Was it gay?

>went to convenience store with dad lots of times as a kid
>every time when we leave it, my father gives me some candy and says he stole it
>one day I enter with him, he buys some shit and then we leave
>I show him some candy that I stole
>he says he never really stole them, he had actually paid for them all this time

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>in 6th grade (i think)
>theres this kid thats been fucking with me for a while
>one day I drop some papers in class
>he stands on one and wont move when I tell him I need to get it
>I push him off of it and he pushes me back
>doesnt escalate but I'm mad as fuck now
>other kid leaves the class before the bell rings for some reason I don't remember
>when I leave to go to my next class I see him walking down the hall in my direction
>without thinking I walk up to him and 'punch' him in the shoulder
>but it wasnt a punch
>I just reflexively stabbed this kid with my pencil without thinking
>dont stop walking, go straight to next class
>teacher comes to get me after a few minutes
>taken to principles office
>they threaten to suspend me
>crying and shit
>end up getting charged with battery and have to go to some gay class at the courthouse

You will never be more fucking scared than when you realize you just accidentally fucking stabbed a bitch

>>36405644
>be me
>around 5th or 6th grade
>out to eat with family at decent restuarant
>restuarant has big chalkboard near enterance where customers can write things about the food
>finished eating but parents are still talking get up and walk around restuarant
>see blackboard
>AUTISM MODE ENGAGED
>get peice of chalk and draw a dick on the board
>proud of myself
>8/10 qt waitess notices and walks over to me
>ohshit.avi
>casually lean with back against blackboard as she approaches
>she ask me to move then sees dick drawing
>asks me where my parents are
>point at random middle aged couple eating
>waitress turns around to go tell them
>quickly 180 degree nope out of the restuarant and sit on bench outside until parents come out
>mfw they never found out

Bump so people will see my story

I looked at images of two young cartoon cat boys having sex when I was 13. Little did I know that that would be considered equivalent to cp where I live, granted though I felt too ashamed to ever look at that kind of stuff ever again.

>>36405885
>PRICE CHOPPER
NIGGA WHERE YOU AT

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i honestly didnt think throwing turtles would hurt them but yeah I got kicked out of gay indigo child nature camp.

>>36405644
>emergency exit at McDolans

I've never seen this

>>36405762
>go to store/gas station with a snack
>get bathroom
>go into snack
>eat/drink bathroom
>dispose of snack
>leave
I did this dozens of times