>Why don't you do anything? >Why won't you work?

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>Why don't you do anything?
>Why won't you work?
>because life is not fulfilling enough for me to suffer this much to prolong it.


I haven't said it.
I don't have anyone to say it to.

I just found the words now.
I uhm.
I don't think they are capable of processing this.

Their low points while they cannot be measured it quality.
An undeniable truth.
You cannot peer into the emotions of a brain.

They can be in quantity
They are wired much differently than me

I say me not us.
I speak only for myself until I am agreed with.

They have proven they cannot comprehend.

How could they?

Having a meal makes me irascible.
Its a quick set of cyclical logic.

I don't have an appetite mostly.
I must eat to survive, to avoid pain.

I do not want pain.
Eat, eating prolongs survival.
Survival prolongs pain.
To eat to avoid pain, creates pain.

Pain creates anger.
I chew scrambled eggs slowly with a scowl like a cantankerous old fool.

People see this.
Why is he angry at breakfast?

How could they know?
How could any of them fucking comprehend?

I don't want to prolong this.
I don't want benzos, Xanax, zoloft any of this shit to make me forget the natural state I exist in is hellish

I don't want to exist any more it is inherently tiring, and there is no where to rest.

I certainly dont want to exist on the crutch of a capsule keeping me numb and alive.