Do you want to be loved for who you are or for who you think you are?

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Both? I want somebody who loves who I am now and will also love who I want to be. That's probably a bit much to ask for though.

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>>36377573
but who you think you are is not who you actually are, are you?

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>>36377615
True, I probably have a skewed view on myself. I generally see myself as a negative person and a complete asshole. While I'd like to be the complete opposite of that, but I've recently been told that people don't actually think I'm an asshole so I guess I'm making steps in the right direction. I would prefer if somebody loved me how I am now and continued to do so if I ever do become who I want to be.

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>>36377727
thanks for the insightfull post. You want to be a more positive person who adds goodness to other people's lives. Good progress, Anon.

I want to die tbqhtm

I just want to be loved desu

I cannot be loved for who i really am, that's why i have to create a fake personality and to deceive people.

>>36377517
>Do you want to be loved
Yes, that's it.

Anyone else hate the thought of being loved?

I have to respect the person I'm sharing my life with, and I couldn't respect someone who behaves in a fundamentally irrational way towards me. They wouldn't see me as I actually am, but with an enamored, fantastical perspective that would skew their judgement and critical thinking skills. I want a pragmatic girlfriend/wife, not someone who thinks I'm some ideal human being.

>>36378134
You can love some one for their flaws too, I think you are over thinking it.

>>36377517
I want someone to love the best possible version of me. Me at my best I guess. So that they keep me on the ball to keep it up.

>>36378171
>you can love someone for things that are objectively bad and off-putting.

This makes no sense. Just furthers my point of love being retarded

>>36377517
Any source on this pic? Google won't tell me nothing

>>36377517
Everyone wants that, that's not even a question.

>>36377517
I want to be loved but I never thought about the reasoning in this way.

Honestly, I don't think who I often find myself to be and what I do on a daily basis is deserving of love. I think I'd be happiest with a person who loves the core of my personality but at the same time wants me to be a much better person than I am, without changing those core traits of who I am.

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>>36377961
be carefull what you wish for
>>36377986
>>36378037
makes sense
>>36378012
with so many people on the planet, I'm sure someone would love you for who you really are. The other question is, would you love that person, if you were to meet and reveal your real yous?

>>36377517
I want someone to hold.

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>>36378134
Are you confusing being loved with being idolized?

>>36378224
what do you think love means?

>>36378181
>I want someone to love the best possible version of me. Me at my best I guess. So that they keep me on the ball to keep it up.
you want no gf, you want a youtube vlog and a fanbase

>>36378279
>>>/p/thread/3058342#p3058592
let's see if this linking works

>>36378290
You are not your identity.

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>>36378297
How much better of a person can you become without changing your core traits?
Someone loving you and wanting you to be better seems desirable.

>>36378354
atleast you get a (you)

>>36378542
Love is idolization+familiarity. Otherwise, there would be no reason(from a universal mindset) to not just go to an objectively superior mate when one is found.

>>36378747
>idolization+familiarity
Aren't these mutually exclusive? Celebreties can be idolized precisely because they reveal very little about their actual living selves. Once you're familiar with someone, any fantasies you built in your head must face the reality of a real human being. Thus you stop idolizing.

>>36377517
good question, but I hate myself so noone could love me if I'm anything like what I think about myself

>>36378967
You become familiar with someone, delude yourself that this attachment is based on some immeasurable bond rather than chemical processes compounding, and you then idolize them to reconcile the absurdity of remaining attached to this person despite better people existing.

>>36377517
I hope my parents love me for what I've achieved in life even though I have no success with women at all.

Also, women don't love men the same way men love women. They're in love with the status and reputation you project to her.

No man is able to say their girlfriend/wife loves them for who they *are*.

>>36379053
>if I'm anything like what I think about myself
do you wanna test yourself and find out?

>>36379062
this really makes me unironically think, thank you.

>>36379133
why do you want your parents to admire you, instead of loving their son unconditionally?
>women don't love men the same way men love women.
possibly true

>They're in love with the status and reputation you project to her.
>project
Are you projecting?
nice digits, btw.

>>36378629
Thanks anon, here's a (you)

>>36379423
no need to test anything
being 23 and kv shows me that I'm a fuckup

Y'all niggers don't have the slightest clue about love.

I, for one, am much more interested in loving someone. It's an inexplicable craving I've always had, to be undyingly loyal to someone for the rest of time. I've already walked through fire for my friends, but I want someone to move a mountain for, with nothing but a pickaxe. Someone to focus the entire energy of whole being on, a reason to live. I wouldn't ask anything in return, not even a gratitude, not even acknowledgment.

>>36377517
Love is cheap. I want respect.

>>36379538
that's because you're a limp-wristed beta faggot.

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>>36379426
Thank (you) for the (you)

>>36379518
what you had said earlier indicated that your self perception might not match up with your real you. Get some confidence on where you're standing right now.

>>36379538
>defining yourself by other people
do you atleast consider their perspective in your quest for glory?

>>36379591
what kind of respect do you want?

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>>36379538
>n-word
>>36379697
>f-word
GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY THREAD ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>>36379699
>do you atleast consider their perspective in your quest for glory?
I don't obsess over someone who doesn't want anything to do with me and force myself onto them, if that's what you mean.

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I don't really feel worthy of love, to be honest.

I try to be good but I have a lot of shortcomings.

>>36379423
>why do you want your parents to admire you, instead of loving their son unconditionally
I want them to be genuinely happy in me, not just satisfied that I've left the house.
>Are you projecting?
I have little to project, but if you want a full-time relationship with a woman, you have to do it a lot and do it 24/7 for her to stay around. Just call it "maintaining frame"

>>36379699
I know where I'm standing and that is in deep shit, that's why I'm just so pissed
>dropped out of uni in 1st year
>worked at shitty factory that only requires elementary school in a different country
>got really tired of everything there, returned home
>got a job here as a call centre agent
>got fired because not selling enough shit
>now I'll have to return to the other country and find another shitty job
>literally no jobs here for me
>to get a job there I need paperwork
>to get the paperwork I'd need somewhere to stay
>to stay somewhere I'd need money
and I didn't even start to talk about how much of a failure I am with women

>>36378629
>How much better of a person can you become without changing your core traits?
A little or a lot, I guess it depends on the person. For me, getting better as a person would entail doing all of the self-improvement I'm comfortable with. I wouldn't geek out about vidya less or wear clothes I don't find comfy like people would want me to but instead improving in areas that /I/ would want to improve. I think this kinda internal sense of what it means to be better is the only way you can get better without changing who you really are.

Dunno if that makes sense.

>>36379752
>I don't obsess over someone who doesn't want anything to do with me and force myself onto them
good

>>36379767
nice number desu
good trying and bad feeling


>>36379794
>I want them to be genuinely happy in me, not just satisfied that I've left the house.
You want your parents to be proud of you.
>Just call it "maintaining frame"
Please explain in your own words.

>>36379878
that sucks. I admire your courage to leave your country and work in a foreign place.

>>36379921
it makes sense. wanting to get better is certainly part of becoming better.

>>36377517
I want to be loved for who I once was

>tfw can't be an innocent child when kissing meant so much

I'll never experience that romantic innocence again

>>36380202
>I want to be loved for who I once was
do you not like who you are right now?

>>36377517
I want to be loved for who I am thought to be.

>>36380143
>Just call it "maintaining frame"
It means always being confident and never slipping up.

If you do slip up, then women will "marry up" i.e. fulfil their hypergamous desires.

>>36377517
I want them to love me as I really am. I have no idea what that is because I know I have a warped view of myself and where I stand with others.

>>36381045
always and never are fighting words. do you see relationships as fights?
>hypergamous
use your own words please.

>>36380986
>I want to be loved for who I am thought to be.
this sounds like it's from the brain sequence meme

>>36381069
>I want them to love me as I really am. I have no idea what that is because I know I have a warped view of myself and where I stand with others.
neato pistachio

>>36381175
>this sounds like it's from the brain sequence meme
If you say it like that, I guess that's true.
But it's the most reasonable thing, because in the end, what matters is how you are perceived by others, not how you perceive yourself, or the truth.

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>>36377517
I honestly would like someone that loves me for who i am, but i want to be able to love someone because i don't know if i can

>>36381249
>but i want to be able to love someone because i don't know if i can
Kek.

Ikr.
No actual reason.
This person.
I will dedicate THINGS.
To this person.

How long till it gets boring.
Costing more than you got when it started.

>>36381217
>But it's the most reasonable thing, because in the end, what matters is how you are perceived by others, not how you perceive yourself, or the truth.
I agree.

>>36381249
have you loved before?

>>36381313
nice thirteens and nice cryptic peom.
do you also dedicate actions to this person?

>>36381391
No, how can i love someone if i can't love myself.

>>36381455
why can't you love yourself, Anon?

>>36381523
Because it's hard to do that when you are depressed.

>>36381652
you're probably right about this originally

I know love is just chemicals in the brain that evolved over time because biology wants us to fuck and make kids, therefore making it something shallow and impossible to keep but I still want it. I've fallen for its idealism. I guess I can only want someone to love me for who I really am because I have a really warped and bullshit view of myself.

>>36378012
>>36377961
>>36377986
I know these feels desu oregano

>>36381391
Actions are things are they not?
Things is any thing you can muster.

I can barely muster things for myself.
Everything decays man.

Why would I invest in something logically bound to end in failure?

No one deserves that if it can be helped.

>>36377517

Both, OP.

Both.

*cuts self*