I think I fucked up /r9k/ >download tinder >ugly as fuck

>>36343282
>Put on a tie

>>36343282
Just do what I do and never assume that anyone ever wants anything to ever do with me.

Also have fun being a sex offender.

Holy fuck OP what is wrong with you?

>>36343354
>also have fun being a sex offender

What the fuck? This can't actually happen from this right? I don't live in America so I don't expect to get meme'd big time but would she really go the police? I just thought that's how these things work and she would go along with it

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>>36343282
>Was it the tie?

It's always the tie

>chubby
>doesn't turn to to be so obese she could outweigh two pregnant elephants

This is unbelievable.

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You have to kiss her, with your clothes on, start finger-banging and touching her up and then start stripping her/yourself before you fuck

Also don't wear a fucking tie

>>36343282
>was it the tie?
BAHAHAHAHAHAHA HOLY FUCK

>>36343364
i never knew how these things worked anon, i'm a virgin and never been with girls, i thought this is just what everyone does, i know people say real life is nothing like porn so i didn't people like spoke / done other stuff before hand, i thought they just got naked and had sex like it was natural

>>36343415
Nobody told me about this, I just thought you get naked like I said above

>>36343418
I just wanted to look sharp

>>36343282
You should have tied a knot around your balls with the tie when you got naked.

>>36343282
>message her " was it the tie?"

my fucking sides include me in the screencap

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>was it the tie?
jesus original christ anon you are a special one
put me in screen cap

>>36343436
As a hubsand and a guy that has had 20+ sexual partners, kissing usually indicates as a precursor towards sex. Y'all gotta touch each other first.
>geddeen budd ass nayked
fuggg :DDD

>>36344090
maybe if i was a normie i'd know this shit wtf i didn't have anybody to tell me

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>>36343282
Some top tier greentext. Thanks Anon.

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>>as soon as she leaves the room i take off all my clothes and lay naked on her bed like a starfish
And I thought I was bad.....
Pls include in screen cap ;)

>>36344454
No father or uncle to help you?
>tfw I've never pick up a chick and all of my past sex partners and wife started talking and flirting with me first (I met most from parks, amusement parks and concerts)
I literally don't know how to pick up chicks.
Well anon... Go to an advice forum. And don't be scared of getting reject (though, I've never experienced this).
t.SoCal dude.

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>>36343282
Should have played it like George Costanza and just removed your shoes and laid comfortably on the bed, then she couldn't accuse you of being uncomfortable

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>>36343282
>"was it the tie?"
lmao anon, you've redeemed yourself

this makes a very funny story, don't be embarrassed at all

>>36344661
nah, no family. been in foster homes my entire life, don't know any of my real blood relations, live with roommates now but still really just got moved around growing up

Probably why i'm a retard.

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>>36343282
>get in my car and message her " was it the tie?"
Slayed me OP

Really though until you stripped it seemed fine.

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>>36344761
Fuck dude. What country?
Joining sports or joining a "cause" can help your confidence, create a bigger social circle and enhance you people skills. Get >>>/fit/ and some sun?

>>36344839
Australia, I'm not unfit but i'm just a retard, i think i have some undiagnosed mental problems clearly because of the fucking OP.

I have a job and everything and make ok money but my people skills are well completely non existent

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Speaking of tinder, what the fuck is my bio supposed to say?

>>36343282
>not wearing two ties, a bow tie and a top hat.
Virgins, I tell ya.

>>36344924
Well Strayan lad... For me, amusement parks helped me with chicks the most.
The adrenaline and dopamine rush (plus a lil booze we sneaked in) helped me big time in organic chemistry with girls.
>wooch aoot foh dah keedz! Theha ahh manee deengoes neeyah tha ahreeah mayeet!