What's it like being a cyborg anons?

The thing with Cyborg is that you know what you're saying is autistic, you just don't know how to change it...

>>36330369
it fucking sucks being in the middle.

>tfw too weird for normal people but too normal for weird people

>>36330438
this, being a cyborg is just being a super aware robot and being able to fit in just enough to pass as normal. I really dont mind it cause robots seem to be on a lower tier, so I'm not a chad or outright normie, but I've had enough experiences to where I can say I'm not a full bot. Being a cyborg is nice though cause people somewhat get what you're about without being creeped or weirded out by it

>>36330369

its not bad. i feel like i can enjoy the intricacies of both worlds. i loathe social interaction, but i do fine as long as there's an agenda and context involve (interviews, job-related ect). I can't go up to someone and start a conversation without the self-perception that its inauthentic and forced, so i just don't do it. Everytime i've tried to take initiative socially in my life it doesn't work. however, if there's already a pre-set agenda and logical flow of dialogue (again, like an interview) then i have no problems and feel comfortable in those settings.

>>36330369
No matter how many people you know and say they care about you and like you, you're still going to feel that deep loneliness.

>>36330757
fucking this

I can't escape it no matter what I do

>>36330907
Even with a fucking gf man I can't think of anyone I've had a deep connection with. I obviously understand that maybe my standards are way to high but talk to most people feels just like going through the motions.

>too retarded to stop oneself from bad moves
>too aware to overlook what you just did

>>36330757
yep, have people trying to talk to me on the daily and I feel like the last motherfucker on earth most of the time

>>36330369
Being a cyborg is nice because robots have so little self awareness that they have no soul, they're not sentient.

>>36330942
I was in a relationship, and even loved them at that, but I still couldn't shake off the feeling that everything was fucking wrong. It's just all made up of small bullshit routines. I can't understand why people do it yet here I am still trying to go through it all because maybe one day I'll feel the same way they feel. It's hell.

>>36331417
I'm hoping it's chemical bullshit going on in the brain. I'm currently going through a bunch of meds to fix shit.

Android master race here. When you see shit from every perspective you eventually realize everyone's the same. Including robots.

>tfw no cyborg bf to talk about cyborg feels that no normie or robot could ever understand

why even live :(

>>36331503
I'm betting it is. If it isn't then I'd kill myself, no hesitation. Keep trying with meds though. I fucked with some back when I was a kid and thankfully had a combo that made me feel better.

>>36331585
Why don't you go find one then?
And not from here everyone sucks here.

>>36331684
I don't, that's gay.

>>36331585
Why don't you find someone that you connect with first and then see if you want to be their bf?

>>36330757
Fuck me anon this is accurate. I want to be away from people who don't understand but at the same time I don't want to be alone anymore. How are you holding up?

>>36331831
Well I came out of a depressive episode for a bit to make a bunch of new friends but I'm right back into the depression again and feeling lonely, hence posting on r9k again. There was one girl I've been hanging around a lot recently but there's still something definitely missing from it. I don't feel like I'm someone without emotions or anything like that but I never feel like people work on my same level.

>>36331710
You're gay
"So am I :P"

>>36331964
Exactly same, down to every detail.

You know what the worst part is? You can't explain it to people. If somebody notices and goes "what's wrong" you can't say "I feel so alone", because they'll just try and remind you of all the friends you have and when that doesn't work they'll just be confused. Or you have the other kind of person who just thinks you're a whiny, needy piece of human garbage who wants attention, and will gradually get more tired of your incessant sadness until they leave you.

It's very bittersweet. You're normal enough to fit in social situations but deep down you know you're fucked

I've had enough experience not to be a robot. On the other hand, I've seen enough shit to understand that the true robot is hurting deeply inside. In the end, I can't be friends with the robot because I'd end up disagreeing with far too much, but I can't truly accept those who are normal because I see them do things that I find highly upsetting. In the end, I just keep to myself getting by in life only conversing with others in person when they come to me. Which needless to say, as far as normal people, is normally whenever they have an issue like anxiety, depression, or relationship issues that they'd be made fun of for or dismissed entirely talking about to the rest of their friends.

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I finally get people talking to me and even this one black qt flirting yet I keep subconsciously shoving them away. I really don't want to be alone but I cant help it. I can tell they are starting to grow diatant and there is nothing I can do about this. I think we're just born to be alone

>>36330369
I'm sooooo close do being able to socialize normally. But just so slightly off. Like, i can see myself succeeding, but I can't physically do it. It doesn't help that ive developed an occasional studder in the last few years.

>>36332154
I get ya man. I think people are never that bothered by your own sadness if you're not trying to push it onto them. As much as I'm bitching my friends do still listen to me about my shit without judgement (and I'll do the same for them). I'm back at therapy now so I'm hoping it does help me feel more satisfied with life in general.

>>36330588
This. If i need to talk with someone about something specific i can. But talking to someone, just for fun, i guess, is one of the hardest, most exhausting things to do.

Normies approve of me and I'm welcome with them but everybody knows something is up and I always feel off when I'm with most of the people in my circle

It is nice to just norman out sometimes though, a cyborg can probably find happiness he just has to find people he's completely comfortable with versus normans who can get along with anyone

>>36332503
Iktf, dude it sucks as well cause I want a gf but I know I'm not gonna be able to text her enough because it doesn't come naturally so I'll probs just get tired and annoyed. Also don't know how to touch a girl without feeling like it's weird

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>>36332588
Different people have different social thresholds and there are definitely girls out there that don't need that much social contact (as long as you don't act distant when you do interact). The touching thing you definitely get over after a bit dude.

>>36332633
You were in that /lit/ thread too huh

>>36332487
Does therapy work?
Been thinkin about going for a while.

>>36332659
Nah watched the video though

>>36332661
Depending on the therapist it can be quite good. There is honestly shit you don't understand until you kind of get it out to another person verbally (not through text), and then hopefully they can offer some sort of solution (such as CBT).

>>36332699
My sincerest thanks go out to you anon. Thank you for understanding and for soldiering through it like me and the countless others. And I will take your advice on the therapy, soon as I move out.

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April 16, 2017
>wake up late because I have no sleep schedule and just pass out
>visiting grandmother's for easter
>get text asking to stop by grocery store
>easy mode stores are closed because I woke up late
>finally find a Giant
>roam around store because what do people normal people eat today
>qt in a sunday dress nearly runs into me
>she says sorry and starts to spaghetti a bit
>she hesitates to walk away and is staring into my face
>I have a hat on and glasses btw
>I say it's nothing and she finally leaves
>roam some more
>run into her again
>she's blushing
>raise eyebrows as I walk away
>go to checkout
>she's at the opposite register
>try to checkout faster
>somehow we finish around the same time
>walk out the store
>notice she's beside me
>look down at her and raise eyebrows again
>she smiles
>I walk to my car and speed off
>get to grandmothers
>lay down on couch
>question existence and reality
>pass out because no sleep
>dream about starting a family with grocery girl
>wake up
>check 4chan
>some guy killed an old guy for no reason
>lay down on couch again
>question the value of life and existence again
>work on some projects for school
>head over to /r9k/
>notice it is almost 3am

>>36330369
Got a job, there's a qt that works there younger than me. I'm going to ask her to go on a date, but don't know how to bring it up, so I'm just going to draw her in a little book that I'm going to buy (I'm not terrible) until she sees it. She's still in High School, so I think she might think it's romantic or something. Is this Cyborg? I had a Mormon girlfriend my Senior year.

>>36332906
In my personal opinion asking directly is the best way to go about it. I can tell you her opinion of you isn't going to change based on how you ask them out (the date is more important for that anyway).

>>36332825
No worries dude. Just remember that it's not that weird to be having these sorts of thoughts and a lot of other people have gone through it before. Also remember nothing is really black and white (apart from the colours themselves) and anything can happen. Don't feel stuck in that rut.

Im basically a good looking cyborg. So its possibly worse because I actually look like an extremely cool person but then people get to know me and then desert me soon after. Literally everywhere Ive ever been I become infamous for being good looking but weird. It sucks so bad but I live with the hope that Im eventually going to become famous or something and then my weirdness will be celebrated.

>>36332939
We just met like a week ago, and don't have a lot of time to talk while we're working, so I don't think there's a connection yet. Like don't you have to be a little bit "friends" or something, I don't want to ask, and then have to work with the girl who said no.

>>36332995
I've done this before and it generally doesn't get weird. Trust me when I say the longer you kind of leave it, the harder it's going to get to ask her out. It's generally better to make your intentions clear from the start what you're wanting from her out of a relationship as opposed to just being friends.

>>36330369
I can blend in, but I'm too reclusive to create or maintain friendships/relationships.

I'm a ghost. It is intensely lonely and nobody's fault but my own.

>>36330438
For me I already know what not to say, and can tell if something is autistic before I say it, but I also have the problem of not really knowing what to say alternatively.

>>36332959
Liam?

Oregon oregano organ

>>36333026
Yeah, ok anon, I'll try to see what happens. Thanks for the advice.

>mfw I googled her last name and it's "Eastern European" and (((Jewish)))I want to give her sweet Goy babies if she's really Jewish she kind of looks Jewish too.HNNNNGGGGGG I'm a /pol/ack too hahah

>>36333068
Just keep your mind open to whatever happens senpai. There's always gonna be another gril.

>>36331282
yeah this is true

Its funny because total normies and robots both have the same level of not being self aware, which is why normies cant understand why weird people act weirdly.

>>36331542
this, basically. People are just people and people who go through bad shit have a bad perspective. Hence why everyone is happy as a child until they get fucking molested or beaten up or something

Being a cyborg can be nice sometimes. About a week ago I was able to have a lengthy conversation with a cute girl from my programming class since she offered to sit with me while I was eating lunch after our lab for the class. It turned out we had a lot in common, especially with many similar interests and similar high-school experiences.
I was pleasantly surprised to actually have a lot in common with someone. Too bad the robot part of me doesn't take the initiative to actually spend more time with her.

>>36332344
I miss the good old days when I used to laugh at people with depression and anxiety and think they werent real because the idea of them was so foreign to me that I thought those people were just looking for attention

> tfw became depressed and anxious

hello karma my old friend

>>36332561
>a cyborg can probably find happiness he just has to find people he's completely comfortable with

so true. the main thing stopping me is trust issues from being deserted by all of my true friends. Also its hard to infiltrate friendship groups when you're 20+

>>36332883
lets be friends, you got skype?

Can covert schizoids be considered robots?

We have the ability to blend in fairly well, but the disorder makes us unable to make emotional connections with other people. Can't feel strong emotions, they're all blunted. That means I can't fall in love or hate someone like a normie would.

At least I'm self-aware and I plan ahead well. With enough painful practice I could even become a Machiavellian Pseudo-Chad. But I'll always have that emptiness inside.

>>36333065
Nope soz

originally

As a cyborg I've had a decent amount of friends in high-school since friends are much easier to make when you have existing friends to make it easier to become friends with their friends. Most of my social interaction in high-school was joking around though, so I'm still not good at normie small talk. I also have 0 romantic experience, so I'm still screwed on that front.
Being a cyborg I'm very aware that I have the ability to improve if I gained more experience, but my robot laziness keeps me from wanting to leave my room for non-class related stuff.

>>36333131
Let me guess, every one of your normal friends eventually deserted you once you started suffering depression and anxiety.

>>36330496
I find it's more like being a chameleon. You can fit in with any of them, for a little while... but soon enough they'll look close enough to discover the truth.

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>>36332883
April 17, 2017

>find myself on my back again, lost in thoughts
>I have a three page paper due in 12 hours
>I still have not done my taxes
>I am incapable of panicing because I know I will do both in time
>think about that shooting again
>it reminds me of an encounter I had years ago
>some stacie was upset because I wouldn't submit to her demands
>tells everyone that I am some crazed serial killer
>rumor spreads like wildfire
>as I walk the halls, npc at work ask if I killed anyone lately
>work lunch: employee tells nearby homeless man to watch out
>everyone laughs
>despite my best attempt, I couldn't get upset
>realized they were more comfortable with me being a serial killer
>realized if I told them the truth they wouldn't understand
>realized if they knew how little I cared about them, they would truly believe I was crazy
>tonight, I remembered that there is at least one person out there that thinks I'll turn killer
>I try to imagine a life where I actually care enough to hunt someone down and kill
>I come up with nothing
>I feel nothing but tired
>I can't sleep so I return to /r9k/
>I post on 4chan to see If anyone else is out there
>I know it's just me here
>Nothing exist outside of my thoughts
>I realize I'm just talking to myself
>I accept that this thread will probably die before I hit post
>I post anyway
>There's no point, but there's no point in believing in pointlessness

>>36333269
You tried medication or therapy my friend?

>>36333269
Normie music for cyborg feels.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8fFVOoqepc

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>>36333093
I hope so anon, see you later, going to bed now. Nighty night.

>>36333167
You don't want to be a robot anon, it's not good, in some ways. There is reading I've been doing, and I will probably make a thread about the "robot" phenomena some day. The robot does not fit into modern day society and yet this name couldn't be less apposite, since those who truly are robots (in the normie sense), as they are adapted to the technological* society, while retaining their sanity in the technicized world. It is a result of atomization and societal breakdown that "robots" begin to form. The growing frequency of such school shooters, beginning with Columbine is a sign of what is to come. I do not believe that such outliers will be reduced as the world continues into technological slavery. It is natural that not everybody can adapt or fit into this world, and those who don't "drop out". This is not ideal, obviously, and should be addressed. I think that "robots" could, fight against this phenomena. This requires will power and an understanding of the problem however. This is something I don't think psychologists or sociologists have been willing to look at. This is a shame since I myself am but a plebeian layman, and my opinions should not be taken serious without consulting the proper experts, which is what I must do as well. This phenomena and the people affected by it, should be helped.

*technology (or technique) is not just the "gadgets" microwaves or refrigerators, but the application of "techniques" to achieve maximum efficiency in whatever endeavor regardless of the effects on humans.

>>36333269
Fug, 99% of the time, when people shit on me, it doesn't affect me at all, I just couldn't bring myself to be upset.

But in that other 1%, their words randomly hit me hard, and I get irrationally overemotional and shit. What did my brain mean by this?

>>36330369
Its.. Still lonely..

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>>36333269
April 17, 2017

>the thread still lives for some reason
>I notice I misspelled "panicking"
>I ponder possible reactions
>I question why I misspelled the word
>I smile in a temporary state of bliss
>I have something other than time, life, and death to think about
>I understand this distraction is temporary
>It may be enough to get me to sleep
>I have difficulty believing that because I'm still posting here
>I wonder what difference it will make in an hour, tomorrow, next year
>I need to get off the internet

>read robot sperg stories on /r9k/
>get confidence boost knowing i never have and never will be as bad as some people on this board
>confidence diminishes as i'm unable to interact with normal people beyond pleasantness and small talk

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>>36333158
I deleted all of my social media accounts years ago. I am unreachable by mail. I only have a basic cell phone for work. I average 20 minutes a month. T-Mobile will not offer me a cheaper plan. They charge me $56 a month. They suggest I go prepaid. If I did, it is unlikely that I'd continue my cellular service. I don't want to hear my phone ring again. I don't want to speak or hear anything.

Unfortunately my friend, I only exist in brief periods on 4chan. I ceased the use of my trip years back because of unwanted hostility. I am Anonymous now; whenever you are here, whoever you are talking to, you will always be with me.

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>>36330369
It's strange. I feel terrible but i feel like i can approach anyone. Most of the times I just know what to say, and yet the way i say it puts most people off.

I've never had a girlfriend, but girls would still walk up and talk to me frequently, that was when I actually went outside.

Back in highschool I wooed about half of the teachers and they all kissed the ground i walked on, and somehow the other half were plotting to murder me in cold blood.

I've never been banned on any board, so that's good

I've never gotten into any kind of trouble, though some of the stuff i do is legally questionable

Don't like the music popular with millennials nowadays, but I like gorillaz which can at least be recognized

Close to the middle of the political spectrum, test said i was slightly left, I suspect because I just want weed legal. Don't mind trump as a president, though I do think he could at least try to make himself seem more appealing to the public eye of non-Americans. Been living out of country for awhile and I gotta say, not many people like him. The least he could do is try to make himself more presentable. Change of hairstyle, maybe.

I can't say I've ever really had a lack of friends, but I still feel a very strange and strong disconnect from the people around me, like their personalities aren't real, or that they're secretly like me but are too afraid to accept the same feelings i get. Whether they're robot or human. I would typically make friends with the robots though, they lasted longer.

I play very many video games, but I don't need them to survive

I play eight different instruments

I can typically get anything I want with the right phrasing, I just have to know the person first. Breezed through school with a silver tongue, could get an extension on any assignment, any excuse I used suddenly became valid, just as long as I chose my words carefully, even with the teachers who hated me.

It's certainly an experience being me.

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>>36333316
>therapy
>medication

I have no need for either. I do not feel despair or depression. I do not feel anything; that includes negative emotions. I have decided your post was an attempt at offering support. I am grateful for your support. However, I am not in need of any mental or emotional support. I only need sleep, water, and occasionally food. My only obstacle is myself. My thoughts keep me awake. My insomnia destroys my diet. I can not overcome my thoughts. They are all I have. They are all I am. My existence relies on my ability to convince my self I exist. I am convinced my thoughts exist. If I stop them, I may stop existing. Unfortunately, I need sleep too. Therapy is of no use to me and medicated sleep is artificial.

>>36333780
I mean the way you're thinking is not nuerotypical and I would consider you of needing help if you've gotten to the point of what you're typing. I don't want other anons thinking this shit is healthy behaviour.

>>36330369
Robots are pathetic beta bugs, normies are fucking retarded sheeple; if anything, I think we're the normal people.

>>36333988
My guess is that we're the most intelligent between robots, normies, and cyborgs, since we have the social inhibition of robots, but the intelligence to know how to act normal based on analysis rather than much experience.

>>36330369
I have a lot of close friends, yet I'm still a KV (I got some pity hugs not to brag). It's frustrating because I'm funny, attractive, and not autistic; which is enough to make real friends, but not enough for poon.

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>>36333842
This is the internet, 4chan of all places, your consideration has no weight. I fed you a (You) and a compliment. I was not requesting any more of your opinion. Your ability to replicate terms does not qualify you to give medical advice. You are part of the problem with this board. Every poster and lurker on here is fine the way they are. This ridiculous desire to compare one grain of sand to another, and posters like you that attempt to exploit it, are cancer.

Before your ego takes the keyboard, to tell me that you're not just another Anonymous poster, and have over 500 confirmed kills, understand your insignificance. If you cannot accept it, try therapy or medications; trust me I'm some "anonymous" internet poster.

>>36334135
Nigga you're a bit delusional which is why I'm saying it's a problem.

>>36333432
Okay it was melancholy at first but now you're just being an edgy faggot, back to the robot realm you go

>>36334135
I cut myself on that edge

>>36334135
I understand the whole Nihilism thing but you're also a fucking human and biologically what your saying doesn't make sense. I mean on one hand you sound so far up your own asshole that you might just genuinly believe you're something special but on the other, you could be having some serious delusions going on. What I think the point he's making is that you can do what you want, but other anons shouldn't be taking you seriously in any way if they're looking to become healthier mentally.

It's difficult because I have to actively work to prevent myself from falling back into robothood. I know how comfy it can be so I'm always working against my mind to become normie.

>>36330369
I think it's fine. I'm cool with it myself. I can interact with normies, albeit they think I'm odd, and I can interact with robots, albeit they think I'm kind of a normie.

>>36330369
Sperglord reporting in (actually diagnosed).
Existence is torment.
While on the one hand I can just about navigate a face to face conversation without seeming *too* off and I'm attractive enough to benefit from some halo effect, I'm utterly unable to build and maintain any relationships.
I've lost contact with almost everyone who spoke to me.
In any social milieu/'scene' there's this whole network of implicit relations and communication between the members, that i'm totally blind to unless they're exceedingly obvious. In my old house at uni, half of the people who lived there fucking hated each other and i didn't notice and thought we were all still a big happy family like we were when we met in dorms.
I only have access to the realm of the explicit, I can only understand what's written or said and if I suspect something's being communicated beyond that I'm totally unable to put my finger on it.
Its like there's this whole other realm of communication and I don't have the antennae to pick up the signals.
I just can't fucking relate to people. Their lived experiences are so alien. I just don't have the ability to connect in any meaningful way, most of my previous friendships were made because they thought the retarded antics of the character i play to get through social environments was funny. When that character runs out of lines or I'm to depressed to play him I have nothing to say.
I've got no social intuition at all, I can't gauge how others feel towards me and I just cannot navigate in a social milieu. Yet I'm passably attractive, have had the semblance of friendship and some female interest (that has made me extremely uncomfortable most of the time), so to people here I guess i'm a normie.
Sorry for the blog post.

>>36330369
what is this? fucking ghost in the shell?
>normie brain in cybernetic body
>normie with red pill vision
Or even scarier
>robot that has become self aware

>>36334777
cont.
tl:dr I only feel like half a human. We are incredibly social creatures, perhaps defined by it and the depth of our interactions spans multiple levels far beyond what is explicitly stated, yet I only have access to the uppermost, superficial level.

>>36333842
Anon, there is a chance that your reasoning might be false. You represent millions of year of evolution. There is no you trapped inside of you. You seem confused about something you can't understand and stuck in circular logic.
Take a step back to see the bigger picture.
Make conversation with other people than yourself.
Also, the medication does nothing more than triggering existing part of your brain. You should reconsider.
>>36334777
>Sperglord
You mean autistic?

>>36335109
I mean I've seen the science behind it and its the most convincing argument around mental health. Metaphysical stuff is all nonsense generally. Don't get me wrong, I understand we're basically nothing and there really isn't an intrinsic meaning to life, but the human brain can make meaning.

>>36335109
well, aspergers.
I'm not full on crash helmet and window licking, though i wish i was because then at least i wouldn't have normal wants and needs that i'm forever unable to fulfil.