Just nine days. Am I overly paranoid or not? What should I do?

Relax, you've said it yourself, when you meet you'll know her true intentions

>>36317366
straight up ask her what she sees in you that makes her want to talk to you

Good reason: Probably OK

"because you are kind/caring/listen to my problems/etc.": red flag

kek show us that scar you redditfag

>>36317366
Le bacon narwhals.
Don't do anything retard just relax.

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>>36317445
Yeah, this is what I want to do, still there's an alarm ringing in my head and I just can't shake it of.

>>36317454
This is what I asked her few times during our email conversations. I guess it's your red flag then because she said that she cares more about the personality. No, it didn't calmed me down a bit.

>>36317457
Sure, here you go.

>>36317366
Well OP 2 years ago i would've said go for it.
But now i'm extremelly cinical and hate pretty much everyone.
So i would say this. Go meet her but if anyone is gonna be using anyone, it should be YOU using HER. If you feel like you this is what it's gonna boil down to, just do it without any remorse.
There is no point in holding on to any sense of virtue or empathy.

>>36317895
What makes you so angry towards others, anon?

>>36318129
Past experiences plus some deeply rooted issues. I realized there is nothing to look forward to. The only thing that makes sense for me now is making money so i can further isolate myself.

>>36317366
What website was that? And yeah she most likely has bad intentions but there's a chance she doesn't, too. Just go into it with that in mind. You seem intelligent and not naive, so you should be fine regardless.

>>36317599
that's a fuckin wicked scar thanks for actually posting it

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>>36317895
>it should be YOU using HER
this. btw you are a BIT paranoid (not overly), but thats usually good. dont let it overwhelm you, if you see her face to face, you can add everything up and go from there. if a girl is really into you, she'll eventually name what exactly she likes, even if youre not handsome

>>36317366
OP, what's her MBTI ?

If she's xNTP, good sign.
If she's xxFx, red flag.

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>>36318429
I'm on kinda same boat. Just my edgy hatred already burned out so I'm just a dull cynic. Also my view on future is quite similiar too. I tried to rope myself when I was 21, then I've been in that crash I mentioned at OP and so I decided just to sustain myself alive until I simply wither away.

>>36318499
Just a local anonymous board, nothing serious, I'm from small country. I doubt her motives, I don't believe someone like her comes down from skies like some fucking angel just like that and for nothing.

>>36318603
Not sure what you like about it but yeah, enjoy yourself. I've also got pic related. They call it a VAC system.

>>36318633
And what if she names exactly what she likes and yet it won't convince me? Am I just *that* paranoid? Also she sent me pics of her in underwear and said she's still a virgin.

>>36318734
It was INFJ, if I can recall correctly. Mine's 98% INTJ, at least that's what 16personalities says.

>>36318976
>I'm from small country.
What country?

>>36319002
Why'd you care?

>>36317366
Assuming you'll meet someplace neutral and public just go meet with her. If it goes sideways for whatever reason just leave. I completely understand your being skeptical, but I'd give it a try....

>>36319297
Yes, we will but I'm not expecting any harm from her at first meet. I don't expect she's going to reveal her true intensions (if there are any), that would be rather stupid and tragically comic. It's the long termed things that may occur what burdens me.

>>36318976
that thing looks like a cunt to deal with, that'd suck, no wonder you're wondering if this bitch is just into you for crash $$$

also i could only find shit about Steam and vaccuum cleaners when i google VAC system. is it a designated shitting bag or what?

good luck scarbro anyhows

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>>36317599
Don't women like scars? I mean if you lose a bit of weight I can see a women tracing their finger down your belly. Though it does need to heal a tiny bit more and that bellybutton needs a nice top rim. I'd tell you to do sit-ups and shit though you'll probably feel like your intestines would start pouring out heheh. What are the other two holes though? I'm trying to think how they could have been impacted.

With work you could be potentially fit, don't let it go to waste friendo. (Nice short thingies too, metal shirt looks a bit cringey though, I'd assume you're part of a scene).

Also, since I'm bored, I'm going to assume you are from the Czech Republic from the Vildtex thing. How is the place? Always wanted to try central Europe though being isolated as fuck I'd have an anxiety attack should I go to somewhere like Prague.

>>36320035
Oh, and as a footnote, not to sound sexist, though women generally are brought up in an environment that teaches them that they are the arbiters of elegance and peace, they are not as aware (generally speaking) of the harsh truths of life, most notably that one cannot change another. Still, they proceed to get off on the thought that they are helping another person, a fantasy of raising them from the rubble to ensure them a greater well-being that previously would have been thought of as impossible - this accounts for the short-comings in their own lives and allows them to believe that they are truly a great person and have had a lasting effect on the world (even if it will die with those around them). For all we know she could be twisting you for money, keep tight financially and only look out for yourself, with that being said do still be kind to her, just not generous (there is an enormous difference between the two). Try to find interests and watch some films/tv if you don't know what to talk about, unfortunately if you're at this stage then you have to force yourself to do everything, most probably. (Don't bother with books/music btw, they usually come off as pretentious as they are "less accessible"/"more artsy" so to speak, a great tv show doesn't have the same affect as a great book or album).

>>36320014
I just googled this for you, should be the same:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Negative-pressure_wound_therapy

TLDR, it support cellular healing by creating unique negative pressure (vacuum).

>>36320035
It's not that easy, mate. The scar healed pretty good, although it got stretched because I've got an incisional hernia in it's lower half. I'm planning to see a hernia specialist to consult if there are any chances for at least partial recovery. I tried to do some little lifting under a supervision of my gymrat robot friend but I've got that feel you described quite well. So all I do is a bicycle commute to the work and some little manual labour there.

Yet I slowly lose weight, I mean really slowly, just by drinking the tap water only. Still feels good to finally buy a size smaller jeans than gradually bigger since the high school.

>metal shirt looks a bit cringey though, I'd assume you're part of a scene
I'm not really, it's from those times when I was eager to go to every metal festival. Now I wear these shirts only at home or if I want to trigger a particulary sensitive colleague at work just for some fun.

God damn you image board detectives... It's quite calm here but a bit dull too. Nothing much to do here, unless it's the calmness you're looking for. We're not that isolated here, population is dispersed across the whole country, it's like a fucking village at every 2nd mile. Hard to find really solitary place here.

>>36317366
I think you're being very paranoid. You should look forward to meeting with her and definately don't look at her as someone trying to take advantage of you. While there are a lot of horrible women out there, there are far more women who just want to be happy and find someone they love and be with them. Can I ask how old you both are? It could be that she has a very low self esteem also and wants a relationship with someone who feels like her, or maybe she has been taken advantage of before by guys and wants to find someone who she thinks will be honest and open with her. Again, look forward to it. You have a really good opportunity to meet someone who genuinely likes you, don't let your paranoia ruin it for you. Be as genuine as possible and just try to have a good time.

>>36320200
>a fantasy of raising them from the rubble to ensure them a greater well-being that previously would have been thought of as impossible
> this accounts for the short-comings in their own lives and allows them to believe that they are truly a great person and have had a lasting effect on the world
This is the first possible outcome I predicted at OP but you just explained it much better than I did. The words of wisdom, are they coming from your personal experience?

And keeping out for myself is something I did since I became a more aware about who, or rather, what I really am. I believe I'm not that stupid or desperate to litteraly get my own money leached by her. But I don't want to act like a dick or even hostile when I'm not still sure about what she's up to with all that just based on my paranoia. She said she likes walking so yeah, we can take a stroll at local city park and then park ourselves at some cafe or restaurant but the issue is we already talked about everything, I mean everything, that similiar minded persons can talk about. So I hope the meeting is going to clarify lot of things, at least for me, if not for her too. I just can't shake that disturbing feeling off.

>>36320940
It seems to me that the perfect thing to talk about is what you want to accomplish in the future. You should be able to gage from there what she wants from you. She says she wants to start a family? Then she's probably hinting that she likes you and wants to be with you. If her only aspirations are to become rich or become popular or famous or something similar then she probably just wants your money.

Don't focus just too much on it though and talk about whatever comes to mind.

>>36320908
Yeah, this is the other side of the coin. I have some experience that just adds to the paranoia - the one from OP in particular. I just forgot to say that woman from OP post wanted to marry me because as I found later, she had 80000USD worth debt and marriage would split it in half for each of us. Plus some typical girly bullying and harassment earlier at high school. That got me in defensive, almost defensively hostile stance whenever woman projects anything that would might be romantic towards me. Fortunately I can talk to any woman in non-romantic way just like with any other person.

I'm 27 and she's 20, quite the difference, I know. Yet my parents have the same age difference. We talked quite a lot about this topic and she said that her self-esteem is also pretty low, although not below the freezing point as mine. She also said that she just intentionally avoids any guys with signs of interest towards her because she's shy and it makes her feel uneasy and under pressure. That's what she said she likes about - that I didn't do any pressure on her, not like those *send nudes* guys.

As I said here >>36320940
>I hope the meeting is going to clarify lot of things, at least for me, if not for her

>>36320508
>Negative-pressure_wound_therapy

thats hardcore
way cooler than a shitting bag. nice. thanks for link

>>36320940
I have a couple of sisters and they both have a tendency to act like this, one of them (the less attractive of the two and certainly the less, how should I say? Capable) especially has a tendency to go out with noticeably less attractive people who have dead-end carriers with this ridiculous mindset that such people can be "changed", whether it be through showering them with gifts and affection or making them socialise more, and it always fails, because it works on ideals that simply cannot be achieved. Quite ironic also, since if she spent half the energy on improving herself she would probably be better off than I am.

And then there are all the girls my age, I've seen many of them act like this though in a much more obvious manner (they are usually middle/mid-upper class women specifically choosing those with poorer backgrounds) who attempt to change those who have clearly gone past the point of no return (got addicted to drugs, got severe mental problems etc.), I suppose if one can get it to work and accomplish change then sure, in the long term it would pay off, though in reality it never happens. Those that cannot change themselves certainly cannot be changed by others, and only then in a negative manner. Usually it ends up just draining both parties and the person who is meant to "change" ends up reverting immediately back to their old ways or worse, intentionally harms themselves to spite the other.

That's as good as I can put it anyhow, I can see why some may see that as being bitter though I've yet to see it be disproved.

Anyhow you seem like a cool guy, hope it goes well for you, I can't really give advice as I'm not that much better myself when it comes to women, though have you tried brainstorming ideas? Its supposed to be handy though eh, I suppose conversation comes naturally and for the best, you don't get shaky when it comes to converse do you?

>>36321264
We've been talking about that too and she knows my life-long plan is to wait to the day I finally die. You know, I tried to discourage her by pointing out my flaws, it didn't work. Sometimes it seems it even made her more adamant in her attempts. She also say she feels *genuinely* sorry for me being alone and taking hits from everywhere and that it's a shame it got me in this mindset I'm at now (I prefer calling it being hardened against any shit the world can throw upon me). We also talked about the family, she doesn't want to marry or have kids at any soon future which is something we both share.

>>36321312
Designated shitting bag was also a possible outcome for me. Got my intestines rekt pretty bad and if the stitching or healing failed, shitting bag, here I come.

>>36321362
>>36321362
I believe there's a name for it, a good samaritan/nice girl syndrome or something like that?

Yes, this is what I've been trying to explain her everytime she starts talking about this! It's all "I'd cook for you, it's what woman is supposed to do" but then I ask her for how long is she going to find a joy in it until it becomes a chore and then a nuisance? Is she thinking it is going to change me? I know there's something fucked up in my head, I'm too scared of any possible diagnosis a psychologist or even psychiatrist would might come up with but some nice girl is not goint to fix me, especially when I'm used to stand for myself and rely only on myself. Not from the selfish reasons but because life experience taught me so and now supposed to turn to opposite just like that from nothing? And the recent accident didn't add anything positive either... I'm waking myself from dreams with heart beating and with the feeling of the sudden panic I've got when I knew I'm about to crash and there's nothing to do with it. I'm damaged both physically and probably mentally too, so why would she lose her time and emotions with me when there's lot of normie guys, ready to shower her with their love, attention and kindness?

I think it's going to end after the meet. Not abruptly but it will just fade away. I also hope she will finally see what special snowflake I am and that it's going to change her mind. But something inside me screams to not let her go because this could be my only chance in foreseerable future to finally acquire kind and caring girlfriend. I have lot of topics to talk about, actually I can get quite talkative and well spoken, at least in Czech (I know my English is quite bareboned but it seems it get's the message through).

>>36321897
Sounds like a doozy, if it means anything your English on here is brilliant, better than most native speakers (though I'm sure its a thousand times easier on a keyboard than face-to-face), I'm guessing she is also Czech? To be honest though I can't really give any more advice, you've gotten further than me (though I did do the whole fade out of communication thing, mostly because I was disinterested and didn't want to tire them for nothing. In short, not worth it if you aren't 100% sure that you're not going to regret it, worked for me though it seems like you may either have something or nothing, you know better than I). Do you have PTSD, by the way? I've never really met anyone who has that, so again I can't say much. The only thing I'd imagine that would help is to keep a hedonistic mindset without overstepping one's boundaries.

From what you describe she sounds like one of the more conservative type, and from my experience those can be awkward - on one hand you want to encourage self-development and keep in line with them, showing them dominance and self-assurance, though in the modern environment its so easy to over-step one's boundaries and manipulate them unknowingly, it really is an awkward situation.

I don't really know what more to say though, you've always got here (if you consider that a good thing), not really much though you know what to do if it goes awry, hope it goes well regardless, maybe you'll have good chemistry, who knows?

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>>36322471
I still have lot of issues when English word order in a sentence is mixing up with the Czech, so it may look quite awkward. Funny enough, I was one of the best at English at high school because I already spent lot of time on the internet and language skills come with this I guess. And if this is how our best looks like, than you can make a clear picture of how average Czech speaks or at least types in English. But yeah, it's for more easier on keyboard than a face to face conversation but I'm able of even that at some degree. Yes, she's Czech too. Yeah, that's called ghosting, I've done it few times already. I will never be 100% sure about that but I think she's not going to bite my head off on the first meet and I'm not obliged to her at all so I can send her away whenever I like. This probably something I needed to work myself up to.

A psychologist visited me once during my hospital stay because doctors deemed I'm too dull and apathetic but it was just my way to cope with that situation. So they fed me with antidepressants (Lexaurin and Seropram) which I stopped using once I've got released. About the PTSD... I don't know, nobody ever talked about it in relation with me. And it's only about the dreams, I'm back behind the handlebars (pic related) and no fears or panic whatsoever, except few riskier manouvers.

Well, I'd prefer more conservative type than those wild outgoing party goer. But I wouldn't like manipulating with anyone, especially in relationship. It's something I despise and I'm not going to do the same unless I get pushed to. But it's not that rose tinted, I know. Eventually it will end up in someone manipulating the other.

I can always break up with here without any obligations if it turns in shit or rather if it's about to turn in shit. I'm not sure about my chemistry though. It usually worked opposite way, making people agressive or negative towards me. At least this place is going to be here forever, waiting.

Anyways, it's been nice talking to you, guys. Especially to you, >>36322471, anon. It's 1:30AM here and I'm quite tired.

Thanks and have a good day or night (or at whatever time you're at now).