Why are you sad tonight, anon? Let it all out.

>>36294788
I loved her man, I fuckin loved her

im bored
alone
a disappointment
skinnyfat
a virgin
dumb
failing uni
and I've spent the entire day browsing 4chan and doing nothing about it, again

I don't know which way to go. I'm relatively poor with poor prospects.
The only one to really help me is me, but i'm pretty fucking dumb.

>>36294788
shes working again tonight so i probably won't get to talk to her at all albeit some back and forth texts about how stuff is going

i just want to hold her in my arms and shes thousands of miles away from me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uADPJJy8GyI

if you guys ever need a song to cry to, this is the one

lonely
some kind of social autism
sometimes i feel ugly other times handsome, i don't know anymore

- A 24,5 yo NEET
- depressed
- Literally no friends
- Hate everyone and everyone hates me back
- Currently in a feud with my mom
- Various mental problems, like OCD, scared of people and going out
- Spend all my days in my room on computer or console
- God hates me
- i am messing up everything
- No ambition left in me, no hope, just despair
- Want to kill myself but I believe in the God and am unrepented atm (is this even a word?)
- Not a single thing makes me happy

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I just feel really tired anon. Tired and hollow.

I want some friends

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I'm not sure what's going on.

I can't tell if I'm just accepting this shitty, endless misery, if I've become a stoic, or if I'm just depressed to the point where I accept everything that is bad without even caring.

I remember when I was miserable, I always talked to myself about how I was going to make something of my life. But now I just want a decent job with minimal socializing in a cold town where no one will bother me.

I'm a dumb blogposter

I thought having a gf would make me happy
And it does
But only sometimes

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>>36294788
My closest friends all got themselves gfs and are now planning their lives together.
I feel like a huge manchild with my immature behavior and interests.

But me being a virgin at age 24, how do I get something I only heard stories about?

Now not only my mother but my even my friends are asking when am I gonna find a girl.
I admit the loneliness is getting to me for the past few years. I tried offsetting it with work and hobbies but FUCK am I lost right now.
Alcohol and cigarettes are my best friends now.

I have no idea. Even hung out with a friend yesterday and smoked some good weed. The guy is funny and a good friend and all but he is legitimately a sub-90 iq degenerate retard (very normie non virgin). I don't even brag about "muh iq" but there is just so much disconnect between me and the very few friends I have.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49E9grEcrxs
That the world is being destroyed by muslims.

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>>36297147
> My closest friends all got themselves gfs and are now planning their lives together.
> I feel like a huge manchild with my immature behavior and interests.

Your interests are your interests. Those won't change much even if you got a gf. They are part of your persona/ego.

> But me being a virgin at age 24, how do I get something I only heard stories about?

I feel you there bro. I feel you. I just want to plow some puss just to get it of my bucket list. If I end up forming a bond that be great but I ain't counting on it.

> Now not only my mother but my even my friends are asking when am I gonna find a girl.
> I admit the loneliness is getting to me for the past few years. I tried offsetting it with work and hobbies but FUCK am I lost right now.
> Alcohol and cigarettes are my best friends now.

You set your own expectations. Living towards others expectations is a bad plan. If you meet theirs they'll just give you a 'good job man' and if you exceed them a lot of people will even end up jealous. Alcohol and my vape are nice though, I admit.

I just had sex for more than an hour straight. I couldn't come. She came a bunch of times but no matter how much effort I put into it I couldn't come.

What the fuck is wrong with me.

>>36297241
Am currently at my cousin's house and your description fits him spot on.

>>36294788
There's a deep void in my soul that I cannot fill. Things that should make me happy doesn't, and even if my situation can be regarded as good, I'm not satisfied.

It's like I want to vomit, but with my soul, not my body.

>>36297525
Deathgrip / circumcised.

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>>36297437
>You set your own expectations. Living towards others expectations is a bad plan. If you meet theirs they'll just give you a 'good job man' and if you exceed them a lot of people will even end up jealous.
It's more about the sudden realization that a SO is something worth pursuing and that I completely disregarded it due to previous bad experiences.

Thank you for your post. The fact that somebody took the time to reply means a lot.

>>36297525
completely cut out porn, buddy

>>36297542
In what area are you not satisfied?
In some it might be a great thing to drive you forward, in other quite destructive.

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>be burger
>no work experience
>apply to shitty min wage jobs
>dont even get an interview
>21 years old and never had a job

i dont know how u get your frist job without bsing your rresume

>>36297578
I'm not cut, but death grip makes more sense. I've never came with a woman and I think its a psychological thing. I cant even get hard without medication.

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>>36297845
I'm done chasing that shit (mainly because I don't care about sexing up some 8/10 anymore and #sexwiththeyoung is out of the question for me).

So I started on a road of self improvement. I know it sounds a lot like MGTOW but I try to get 1.5 hours of weight training and 1.5 hours cardio a week.

I also have an interest in writing / podcasts / video. So I decided it's a better bet just to focus on getting my setup ready and practice writing and voicework before I start producing content next month.

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I've pushed all my friends away and now I'm alone.
I hate myself

>>36297901
Like an other anon said, try cutting out fapping for some time or limit to once a week. Be glad you aren't cut though. Not that I give great advice because I fap twice a day and am 29 years old. Guess my drive is just high.

>>36298033
Me too anon, I get really close to people and then ignore them. What the fuck is wrong with me?? I have no one left because I'm such a fuck up

not allowed to play vidya DDDDD:::::::

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>>36298033
>>36298085
And how have you managed to push them away? That question is more important. Makes you think who pushed who away. The people I have left are all a bunch of cynical niggas with a very dark side of humor that are interested in the same things I am.

Ask yourself that first.

>>36298055
Dude I've fapped once in the last ten days. I think I'm gonna have to limit the fapping to once a month but I'm not sure its worth it. It's not like I get laid often.

It might be true, though. I'm too used to porn.

>>36294788
life is shit :^) and original

>>36294788
BRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPFFFTTTTTTFFFTTFTFT

>>36298127
I said my drive is probably high. But I remember when I was depressed for a year (actually depressed with meds and shit) I didn't fap for like two years.

>>36294788
I'm not sure any of my friends like me, I see the world through shades of gray and it brings them down.

>>36295304
god doesn't hate you anon, don't think like that buddy.

>>36294788
I'm 22 years old with no plans for the future and still living with my parents. I have no goals, no motivations, not even a guideline on where to start. I'm in the process of joining the Army for a cozy desk job or Infantry. I'm not picky; I have to do SOMETHING.

I'm still waiting to go to MEPS and I'm worried things won't work out. What do I do if it doesn't??

>>36298178
This. I see the silver lining and the middle road all the time. I find myself surrounded with black and white thinkers everywhere eager to jump on bandwagons and into camp 'just cause' it's easy.

>>36298212
Anything you can think of - it's your life and you are your own compass. It doesn't matter. Anything is better then nothing.

>>36298177
Do you get laid? How does it work for you?

I can fap easily twice a day. I get the urge more often than that. But with girls my dick goes full spaghetti even if I haven't touched it for weeks. Today I reached the edge several times but couldn't release. Now my nuts hurt like they got hit with a hammer.

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>>36298259
I feel so hollow, at this point if the Army doesn't work out I'd probably try and get a minimum job save up just enough cash for a handgun and blow my brains out. I don't want to be stuck working a minimum fucking wage job while still being supported by my parents. God forbid something happens to 'em I AM FUCKED.

>>36298115
>niggers
>dark side

kek

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>>36297999
>I'm done chasing that shit
I'm not. Mainly because I feel like I didn't give it much of a shot.

>I know it sounds a lot like MGTOW
So what, nothing wrong with that. Gym is usually full of people like that.
I did 1,5 hour a day. 6 days a week. I feel like I got into my peak performance but I reduced it since it's a bit ridiculous. I am proud of the body it got me but it did not help me much overall.

>I also have an interest in writing / podcasts / video.
Where can I follow you?

>>36298366
Don't do it anon. There is always a backup plan, you could join the french foreign legion or become a priest or something, don't kill yourself it's not fun.

>>36298337
If I got laid I wouldn't be here anymore friend.

Just imagine a smug anime girl picture - too lazy to look for one.

The lamb I helped bring into this world died this morning. He had been sick for a week, but looked like he was getting better. He crashed last night, and began having breathing difficulties around ten, before he stopped breathing altogether at four. I just feel awful, I know I did everything I could have to help him, but that just wan't enough.

>>36298422
How would I even get there in some hick town in the US. I don't have any money.

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I just I just feel overwhelmingly lonely all of a sudden. I'm becoming increasingly paranoid of girls despite desiring to be in the company of one. I'm also feeling worse about my future, I'm studying for a career but I fear that I won't make enough money for myself or for a prospective woman. I also feel sad because I feel like I've missed out on life so far due to strict parents and terrible religion I'm stuck in. And I feel these random bouts of sadness, disinterest, and hopelessness. Finally I fear that I won't make enough money for a dream car I've always wanted. It's a classic car mind you but I fear that I won't be able to afford it and if I could, there probably wouldn't be any; as stupid as it sounds that makes me sad.

I just can't guarantee that I'd be with a woman. But if I had that car I'd be so happy.

Pic related is the car I want. A 1959 Oldsmobile 88

>>36298447
I know what you mean. If I didnt have dick problems I'd probably be on Facebook instead of here.

It's frustrating to be so close to being a normie yet so far away.

>18 years old
>NEET
>Hikikomori for three years
>Poorfag
>Idiot
>Diagnosed autist
>Fat
>Ugly
>Virgin
>No friends
>Never talk to family, even if I try they tell me to go back to my room
>Deep seated psychological issues due to feeling emotionally neglected as a child
>My deepest desire is to have a partner who genuinely loves me, and who I can do things with to enjoy being a NEET again, but I'm the most undesirable, worthless person imaginable
>These days even my hobbies don't bring me joy
>Too unmotivated, talentless, and stupid to develop any skills for careers I want
>Would feel even worse working a normie job I have no interest in
>No idea what I'm going to do with my life, considered joining the army for a sense of purpose but I lack the will to get /fit/
>Realized how much of my life has been wasted doing nothing and now the constant passage time terrifies me
>Want to sleep constantly to stop feeling bad but can't and even if I could it's mean wasting more of my limited time on this earth
>Can't commit suicide because I want to see the future too much


Nothing in this world makes me truly, deeply happy, I just live seeking the occasional bit of fleeting joy from escapism or seeing whatever crazy shit is happening in the news, and now even that stuff doesn't satisfy me.


It just hurts so fucking much to live, but I'm afraid of death.

>>36298493
https://skiplagged.com/

It can get you places for pretty cheap and if you have military experience it would make it easier to get into the legion.

>>36298530
You should see a therapist anon, they would be able to help you get motivated.

>>36298418
>I'm not. Mainly because I feel like I didn't give it much of a shot.
I'll just see what lands on my path. Not losing sleep over it anymore. I had a few gfs when I was younger but never sealed the deal.

>So what, nothing wrong with that. Gym is usually full of people like that.
I just do it for myself. I lost all conditioning I had from when I was younger due to having had two liver transplants (got me a bad ass chest scar though). At rock bottom I hit 38 kg at 1.72m height - severely underweight.. probably lost all my muscle.

>Where can I follow you?
Still thinking of a name. But if you want to know what style would be like you can listen to The Procrastinators Podcast on Youtube. Might not be your cup of tea but these guys are lunatics and mostly red pilled as fuck. I like most of their content. They are unapologetic and honest.

>>36298530
I never liked the Idea of convincing other to people to kill themselves...but there's no reason to fear death. The way it happens sure, but there's a strong possibility that at the end all that awaits oneself is oblivion. The absence of EVERYTHING. You no longer exist and neither will any pain...or joy, if you feel like clinging to something,

>>36298530
I was almost in the same situation as you at the same age, neet since I was 15 up until 18, poor, not stupid but you're probably beating yourself up too much about that, ugly and scrawny like a skeleton, virgin, no friends or family to talk to, no job or money

Literally spent all my time on the computer day in and day out, derived zero joy from it but thought life without it would be fucking unbearable. Ended up taking a class at community college, then next semester 3, then 5 the next, all the while working out at home with pushups and situps before i gained the courage to go to a gym. Worked hard and got accepted to a not bad university where I joined some soccer type team where we casually play every week. Gained some good friends who genuinely respect and care about me. Trust me, I know what you feel like man, I thought normal life was going to be even fucking worse and monotonous than the life I had back then, but I gave it a chance because why the fuck not and I would have never imagined the happiness that I have in life now. Maybe its a bit weird I'm sharing this all with you, but trust me bro, it's doable

My current life is so aimless, I'm in this country for one more year and I'm just wasting time. I also saw my ex yesterday for the first time in months since we broke up, made me a bit sad

>>36298822
What are your plans for the future anon? originialcontentreeeeeeeeeee

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I'm not sad I just want something different to happen

>>36298866
Doing the study maths 6-figure starting salary meme. In many respects my life is really worked out for the future, i can focus my sadness on my inability to interact with humans

>>36298625
>At rock bottom I hit 38 kg at 1.72m height
I am literally the same height and i felt like a skeleton at my lowest (52kgs). I can't even imagine 38.

>you can listen to The Procrastinators Podcast on Youtube
I will. Thanks for the tip.

Wishing you all the best anon. Hopefully things work out for you.

>>36298985
I was in a similar situation and I sought out people who shared similar interests with me. Another change, if someone I knew invited me to anything I would go, sometimes it sucked but it was usually a pretty good time.

I'm about to break up with the only person irl who really loved me because I just have zero romantic feelings. I still wanna be friends but I don't think it will happen and I feel like absolute shit

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>>36294788
Blood and death are waiting like a raven in the sky
I was born to die
Hear me while I live
As I look into your eyes
None shall hear a lie
Power and dominion are taken by the will
By divine right hail and kill

My father was a wolf
I'm a kinsman of the slain
Sworn to rise again
I will bring salvation, punishment and pain
The hammer of hate is our faith
Power and dominion are taken by the will
By divine right hail and kill
Hail, Hail, Hail, Hail and Kill, Hail and Kill
Hail, Hail, Hail, Hail and Kill, Hail and Kill
Im happier than ive ever been. Im going to travel the world for 4 years, visiting all 7 continents. Then im going into military contracting.


Now im just smoking weed and listening to manowar.


Life is good when youre angry
Like is good when youre happy
Life is bad when youre passive
Life is bad when youre sad

>finally muster up the courage to ask a girl out
>she isn't my type but I'm desperate and she. seems to click decently with me
>I'm 27 khv and she's 18 shut in who isn't even going to college so I should have this in the bag!!!
>Going to ask her to see guardians 2 caus she loves capeshit
>get onto Facebook to message her
>I'm doing it, I'm finally going to ask a girl out!!!
>she has a new post
>"lol why do people ask me out, I'm not interested in a relationship. they dont believe me but I really am not!! :(((("

time to find a heroine dealer. can't deal with life anymore.

>>36299324
> 18
Teenagers are dumb, anon. Their brains haven't even developed yet.

>>36299446
I need someone with an undeveloped brain to get Mr the experience and confidence boost to actually be with someone my age.

Nobody wants to be with you when you have no confidence, and the "fake it till you make it" thing doesn't work if you consistently never make it. At a certain point it's almost like trying to fool yourself into feeling confident you have the ability to shoot a kamehameha. As much as you can PRETEND and TRY you know deep down its impossible.

It just hurts caus I got shot down before I even asked. It reinforces the idea that I shouldn't even bother.

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>>36299324
just become a heroin dealer, girls will flock to your mighty needle.
Or just, you know, lift weights, read books, become a better person.
Nah, thats to hard.
Deal heroin.

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>>36294788
I suck at everything I try. Girls don't like me. I have nothing to look forward to.

>>36299554
You're right but 18 is just too young for you, she has to be at least 21~24. Anything younger is cancer.

>>36299649
>lift weights
Maybe. I'm slim though.

>read books
I'm more literate than pretty much every single person I encounter. I frequent /lit/ and actually have read every book on my shelf.

>become a better person
The one thing I have confidence in is that I am a good person, but have shit luck and am too cynical to ever try because I feel I'll always end in failure. This was a rare time I'm which I actually pushed myself to try and, just as I predicted, it ended in failure before I could even open the messenger.

>>36299760
>21-24
By this point they already have too much experience to deal with a khv who's older than them. Maybe one that's like 20, not at 27 they will avoid you hard.

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>>36294788
>tfw get robot bf
>he wont have sex with me anymore
>screams at me for no reason
>puts object up my ass for punishment
>mfw no one else will ever want me why live

>>36299794
nah ur just DYEL
If you just stopped caring about anything, injected test, and dropped acid, you would see the truth.

My girlfriend is breaking up with me because she says we are too different.. Even though she likes being with me and everything idk man.. We're only dating for 2 months. We started dating kinda suddenly so we didn't even have time to fall in love and stuff. Fuck I miss her.. I haven't seen her in over a week.. Tomorrow we'll see each other and sort things out. What should I do? Is it even worth trying anymore? I thought that it was a good thing that we are different I thought that she would make me a better person. She's really extroverted and it really helped me since I am introverted. I wanna tell her that I started to enjoy life again thanks to her. I don't want to lose her man.. She wants to stay friends after we break up but I don't know if it's a good idea. She also says she's not ready for a relationship idk what to believe anymore she says that maybe one day she'll be ready and we can hit it off again but I want to stay in this relationship now. I don't want to be alone again. I know that we can continue dating. I need to convince her to stay with me.. Sorry for the long text I needed to write it out..

I really wish I could be with my oneitis, or even just get a chance to be with her. But she has a bf and we'll probably never be anything more than friendly work acquaintances. I'm texting some other girl atm but that girl is a bit of a roastie and I know I'd be constantly paranoid of getting cucked if I was with her.

>>36300131
I don't know how old you are, sounds vaguely like a school relationship, if it is or you haven't had sex it's not a thing and you never will with her, you just have to move on. Otherwise just try and root, that'll get to the bottom of how she feels very quickly

>>36297525
Good job buddy, consider a job in the porn industry

>>36298033
This was me about 8 months ago. I didn't feel it until about December and I realized I'm a spastic retard with anger problems. Luckily I made up with my friends, I broke up with my gf though.. that was a mistake. I don't know how people put up with me.

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I'm in love with a girl that doesn't like me much anymore
I'm wasting tons of money in college and taking forever to get anything done
I'm lonely and only have two internet friends, one of whom is the girl I love
I don't sleep well anymore and have no energy
Pretty much every attempt I make at real life social interactions fails

>>36299184
You're going to miss them extremely. Be really sure of what you're doing anon. I wasn't.

>>36298736
>not stupid but you're probably beating yourself up too much about that

I'm not exaggerating that part, my mother took me out of school in fourth grade because I constantly got into fights with other kids.
I went to junior high part time for a year, then highschool full time for three months before dropping out again, I'm terribly educated, in particular I can't comprehend math beyond basic addition/subtraction/multiplication/division.

>Ended up taking a class at community college

Doesn't college require a lot of money? don't have a whole lot of that.

>working out at home with pushups and situps before i gained the courage to go to a gym.

I can't do a proper push-up, my body is too heavy and my muscles too weak, and with sit-ups I just raise my legs rather than my upper body, don't have anything to keep them on the floor.

>joined some soccer type team

I played soccer and baseball as a kid, didn't enjoy them, still don't have any interest in normal sports.

>Gained some good friends who genuinely respect and care about me.

They're probably normalfags, I don't really hate normies but I can't find anything to connect with them on, my older sister is the only person in my family who ever tries to talk to me and we just don't have anything to talk about, our interests are so different, I'm too much of an autistic weeaboo.


I don't think a lot of what worked for you will work for me, I'm such a particular brand of fucked up, I'm not sure what to do, but I will start trying to work out, in combination with only eating one meal a day I might manage to do a single push-up by this time next year.

Thanks for taking the time to give some advice, anon.

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I miss my ex and I regret breaking up with her. At the time I just went full nuclear and thought I needed to rid myself of everyone around my life because I was so sick of everything. Huge mistake. She simped for a few months after the break up but I'm pretty sure she got over me around January. Now I caught feelings for her again.. I know she's not the right person for me. I just want somebody to hold and to try and fix things again. While she's off enjoying her life and looking for someone to replace me, I'm over here thinking about her every waking moment. I just need to get over her. That's all I want.

Other than that, I have never had a job, I dropped out of community college, and I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I have been going to the gym for the past few months, lost 26 pounds and it makes me feel slightly better. Sorry for the blogshit, I just feel like I can relate to you guys more than I can with my friends..

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>>36299324
>"lol why do people ask me out, I'm not interested in a relationship. they dont believe me but I really am not!! :(((("

Why are so many females practically asexual?

It's not fair, why can't women desire men the same way we desire them?

Why do we have to be so lonely?

I want someone to give me a hug and tell me I'm going to be okay. That all the effort I've been putting into my job isn't futile, or that I'm doing the right thing. That I can get past this depression and just accept life for what it is; there's a lot of shitty people out in the world but not everyone.

Its been a shitty week and I have no one to talk to. I think I'm just lonely.

>>36300732
>practically asexual

yeah keep telling that yourself

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>>36294788
>person I like is most likely completely apathetic to my existance/don't have the courage to make a move
>soon I won't be able to talk to her as much
>probably going to get some other girlfriend

I've never tripped over a girl so hard. Every single person I ask for help just tells me that stupid "yea just b urself dood." Fuck.

I am in my early 20s. Today I had my first kiss with some random brunette who had a decent body. We didn't even exchange any words just made out for a few minutes and I got to grope her ass and tits a bit. Today was a good day.

>>36300608
>cant comprehend math beyond basic
If you honestly are near retarded, which I think is just actually self pity, then there are plenty of trade schools that aren't exactly hard which will give you a decent living.

>doesnt college cost a lot of money
Community colleges are cheap as fuck, you can even get student loans for them too so its almost negligible.

>i cant do a proper pushup
look at link related : http://dailyburn.com/life/fitness/how-to-do-a-push-up-variations/

for a situp just find something line a cabinet or mattress and put your legs under them. Trust me, there's always a way to start. Hell just even making an effort to walking more every day does help.

>no interest in normal sports
it doesn't have to be sports, it can be a club or an organization related to anything, schools and towns have countless groups for pretty much anything which is an opportunity to make friends. Fuck I joined the d&d club at a university I never even attended, just found the poster on the wall.

>i cant connect with normies

That's because you're a robot right now. Once you start living healthier and moving towards a real life you'll find not only do your interests change but your entire mindset socially. I was a recluse who had no interest except fucking dota and esports games, but I just branched out and explored different things and found a community that I never imagined I would like before.

I don't know you but fuck I care about your life because I can connect to you personally about what you're feeling, just give it a shot man, I promise you it's worth it. I'm proud of you for taking the first step in escaping the cycle, once you get the ball rolling it gets easier.

I started attending a snooty private school this year, one where none of my friends attend. I still talk to them everyday on discord and we play vidya and hang out together but I really miss going to school with them. I've been stuck spending my entire senior year at a school with a bunch of richfags (40k a year tution) that only care about sports. In order to get my grades up I've stopped talking to my real friends (I told them I was gonna focus on school) and I feel so alone. I never realised how much vidya and my real friends meant to me, I hate everyone at my school. My best friend is a fucking nigger and this girl I hang out with is a commie. Everyone there is a lib and you have to play along if you don't wanna get fucked. I seem really happy and outgoing to everyone there but on the inside I would rather be with my friends at public school, playing vidya all night. It fucking sucks, I've picked up guitar but I suck at that too. I just fucking hate my life even though I've got everything laid out for me. Hell, I go to the best private school in the state. I have my college paid for and good pc and everything. I should be happy. Those fucking normies at my school just suck the energy out of me and I fucking despise them all. The only girl I ever had a chance with goes to a different private school 30 minutes away and we don't talk anymore. I don't know what I want to do in life, something big. My worst fear is that one day I'll die and nobody will remember me. Sorry for rant but I just hate everything and want my old life with my old girl and my old friends back.

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Today in a small whatsapp group of 4 people one invited the other two to his house, why the fuck would someone do that, just ask them personally or make another group

>>36301000
you're so young
wait till you drift into college, make zero friends, stay inside your dorm whenever you're not in class, and have no ambition or interest in your major or any major for that matter and have no idea where your life is headed or how to live it

>>36301135
Honestly if that happens I'll just kill myself. I can't live like that.

>>36301191
thats what you think. But can you face death when you have so much in front of you?

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I miss you erika. Not a single day goes by where you dont cross my mind. I always think about the things I could have said but didnt. God dammit im tearing up again

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>>36297241
Do him and you a favor and dont hang out if youre going to be a downer.
>>36297379
This is what is important.
>>36297889
Got a job washing dishs at 16 and worked under the table before then.
Start sucking cocks ANON.
>>36298055
I can keep going hard after I cum and I smoke alot.
Get gud scrub.
>>36298447
Pic here you go.

>>36299760
18 is fine jesus.

>>36301240
I don't want to be alone. I don't want to waste my life, I want to change something or do something I don't know. I don't think I could kill myself directly, the idea of death is horrifying, maybe go die to ISIS or some shit.

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i lost another friend yesterday
i don't know how to feel
we didn't even know each other for very long
why did i fuck it up, it was such a simple thing too
i could have prevented it
i just hope they're okay
i hope they can still be happy
i'm sorry

It's not so much not getting any chicks itself that bothers me, I've resigned to wizardry if that's my destiny, but trying to figure out the reason. The more people around me obsess about it the more I feel like I'm lacking a basic human drive or function or something, its a strange feeling to be so aware of your differences.

Maybe I've just had too much time with my thoughts.

>>36300508
I cried like shit but I knew I had to do it. We're staying friends

bc friends categorize me within their social hierarchy as a lower friend so i dont get invited to do stuff as much anymore.
should prolly find new friends

>>36301418
tfw always the lower friend

>>36294788
My last friend passed away and I am really alone now.
I started snorting oxy pills because they convince me that there are nice things in life.
I have lost 15lbs so far and am losing the will to eat entirely.
i write a new suicide note every week but never fucking do anything ebacuse im a dumb pussy

i cry in the bathroom every day i work, but thankfully it is spring so i have the excuse of allergies

io just need to fucking get it over with, but i cant

>>36301361
Shit I don't know about that anon.. usually being friends works out for a week or two but oh well what's done is done. Hopefully things work out for you my man.

>meet a qt 3.14 at work
>fall head over heels for her
>she's already got a bf
>try to move on but fail
>fall for her even more
>start deluding myself maybe he'll break up with her and I'll have a chance knowing full well this is the worst thing I could possibly do
>find out he's most likely gotten her pregnant
This is some next level beta cuckery. Just die in my fucking sleep already.

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a trifle of a deformity has been torturing me for a while
I am too self involved and too cursed
less than a human, but not even an animal because even they are perfect beings

I realize I don't exist in the world like other people but am more like an empty caricature of a something

I am too exhausted in every possible way to keep complaining about things
I am a vile vile vile creature that needs a vile end and I am becoming less afraid to do it

After weeks of still talking to my ex, I finally cut all relations with her. No matter how much I still love her, I had to do this in order to heal. But I'm feeling really fucked up. I loved talking to her.

>>36297542
> this feel

I wanna kill myself

>>36298502
>terrible religion im stuck in

Lemme take a guess; Jehovah's witnesses right?

>>36302065
i hope so too. I knew i had to do it because my ex is the only fucking person i can get stuck on and i just couldnt put my current s/o through that

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>>36302039
Hang in there buddy

Orgnl

Because I'm 30 and stuck here with you lot.

>>36302164
Brah......i feel you
Im not apart of this reality system, im foreign, this isnt my world. I dont think im entirely evil, im just hateful and angry. Suicide is a no go, bad consequences. Just waiting for natural death

I joined the military and I'm still kiss less friendless virgin

>>36302456
Right on the money my friend. How'd you know? Are you stuck too?

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>19th birthday is in two days
>have no friends to spend it with
>know parents will insist on making me go out to dinner with them to celebrate
>i just want to be alone but i also deeply want friends, this loneliness is killing me

>>36294788
because im all alone
normie and get women but not the one i want
im really upset because of it because im in a call with her right now and i cant get rejected again

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>>36294788
>Why are you sad tonight, anon?
Because I've legitimately had no actual friends (zero) for the past year. I've had no "real" friends my entire life. My only 'friends' are my co workers, who mainly talk among themselves while I walk around and work. I'll join in on the conversation sometimes and I might laugh, but I don't know what to say. Or I'll say something and only one person listened. Then they walk away and talk about how they're all going to hang out without me. I want to be more fun and expressive, but I think being in the background is just my personality, but it doesn't always feel good. I only exist in my head it seems

hopefully things get better when i go back to college and start taking classes i enjoy or meet new friends. i'm also trying to get out of the house to go to the gym and get hobbies, but I just think it's only me.

I was at two parties this weekend. Both had girls my dixk wanted to score on. Both times I failed to do anything about it. Last night I jacked off and realized that I shouldn't always listen to my dick, which is a lesson I have already tried to learn many times before but obviously to no avail. Happened again tonight and want to cap to forget it but too drunk to get hard to do so. Ended up chugging water for an hour while my shave friend felt up the girl I wanted so I could drive home semi sober. Typed this sitting on my toilet. Hate my shit self. Let it be Monday so I can wallow in wage slavery again and have no meaning or purpose in my meaningless life. Fuxkvvc

>>36294788
I'm not sad. I am only capable of anger and wrath.

I'm all alone
I have no friends
Nobody to talk to
I have to go to my dad's tomorrow and he's a piece of shit
I want to tear myself apart because I feel like someone played a cruel trick on me, taping water balloons to my chest but it's part of my body and I just want to rip them off with a knife
I have anxiety
I might have ADHD
My sister is suicidal

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>>36294788
Because once again I am alone on a weekend.

No friends, and every cry for help gets duly ignored. Nobody gives a shit about me.

If I was a female if I ever gave the slightest hint of sadness I'd be swarmed with sympathy.

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>tfw chubby, gay, black, and small-average dick

Man everyone is so fucked up nowadays. The industrial revolution was a huge mistake

>>36294788
>trying to get my shit together and the only thing stopping me is my ptsd and anger issues from childhood abuse
>tfw looking for a job that isn't shit that I can tolerate and everything hasn't worked out so far

One of these fucking days though.

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Because I grew up alone without making any friends or worthwhile memories or childhood desires. No single good memory as a teenager and even more alone. Parents never cared much for me and I myself don't care much about them.

I'm already turning 24 soon and yet to find anyone to genuinely like me. Never felt another embrace of a human being and being deprived of affection kills you inside. Everyday I'm either spending my days inside or walking all day trying to keep my mind occupied .

I'm not afraid of dying. In fact, I have a pistol ready but I won't do it yet. I'm saving up enough money to cover any expenses when it comes to my suicide. I think maybe 6 grand should cover it.

I'm not sad. I'm in anguish.

>>36294891
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yGfhHQ9wDsY

I miss her so fucking much.

I don't think I'm ever gonna see her again. I don't know how she ever happened. All I know is that she was the girl of my dreams and I wasted my chance and it hurts so fucking much.

I cried in front of my peers and authority figures TWICE in the same fucking day.


I just want the stupid thoughts to stop.

>>36305439
Did you do something to her?

After 27 years of leeching my way around life, I finally want a job. I want to fix my NEET ways, but I just can't find a job anywhere. Damn, I guess I'll have to resort to the crime life.

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Well, this girl said I was cute and that we should hang out sometime. Turns out that she had just "broken up" with her boyfriend. They're mending shit or whatever, so now she's saying that she just wants to be friends with me. She was cool too.

I wouldn't say I'm sad, just generally bummed about being alive.

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I feel less than human and spend my time escaping life. I definitely don't wanna go through another 50+ years of this shit, but I'm not yet bad off enough to kill myself.

Lost all the contact with my best friend a year ago
still think of him and miss him every day
:(
no homosex

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my foreign friend i talk to on whatsapp doesn't reply to me anymore

the past 3 times i've texted her (spaced out over 2 weeks) she hasn't replied

tonight i texted her 'happy easter' and she viewed it immediately, never replied

>>36294788
im different from everyone I know and meet and its impossible to actually be myself without the people around me thinking im legitimately fucking insane

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Suddenly everyone has stopped texting me at once, and I don't know why.

I met this girl in a discord a while ago and she's like no other girl I've ever met. She has singlehandedly restored my faith in girls. She's like me in a way that even my guy friends never are. She keeps insisting that I'm cute and that she likes me.

This is great and all, but I had been lying to her about where I lived. I told her I lived near her when in reality I am about five hours away.

Assuming that I couldn't come back from that, I confessed and told her that I wasn't going to text her anymore. Surprisingly she genuinely asked me not to. I caved and told her that we'd meet sometime and she agreed. Things were okay for a while, but then she took this trip across the country to visit her family. She was saying some weird stuff before she left, and now she is barely texting me, and her snapchat story has some guy in it.

I don't know, I guess I just can't help but spaz out.

._.

>>36306208
>I met this girl in a discord
stopped reading there

>>36306236
Yeah

I know

Sorry dude.

>>36298530
Father not around then? I can't see any man allowing this - I wouldn't.

Get out of the house - you will feel better. Small steps is the way to go, and you've got time on your side.

I wont pretend that I dont have issues. I hate minorities, im afraid of being an old man and having them wiped out most of my race. I hate our society. I just want a nuke to set us back a couple eras. suicide is pointless but staying alive to watch them suffer would make me so happy...

then again, thats probably my sadistic side talking. If the us got nuked, and didnt get run over immediately afterwards, being apart of the effort to rebuild somewhat of a decent society would be a nice way to live out the rest of my life.

>>36295923
I knoe you probably won't see this, but I know that feel.
>>36296945
Would you rather not have one?(Honest question)
>>36297147
>>36297437
He nailed it on the head my man.
>>36297525
That sucks(lol) but try and look at it as a positive, would you rather come immediately?
>>36298488
Do you work on a farm?
>>36298502
You have good taste in cars and you sound pretty positive despite your situation, I'm sure things will work out for you
>>36301253
That's rough buddy, Erika is a nice name.
>>36305427
Fucking solid music man, this might be a new favorite, thank you
>>36306391
Maybe focus on stuff other than minorities?

i know most of my problems are and how to fix them but i refuse to do it

im an aspie, got diagnosed without parents knowledge and theyre going to see me for my 21st birthday (khv so beginning to feel wizard powers then) so theyll probably tell me ive been on the spectrum all along. i'll probably tell them i hate them from hiding it or something stupid, then start crying but it doesnt even make a difference anymore

i fucking hate uni, i used the power of autism to major in math but some classes i seriously hate because when something isnt interesting i flat out refuse to learn it. and the other classes i easily keep a good grade but become paranoid and constantly think about a question or if i failed a test even though i do fine, it eats me up inside and sometimes i need to lie die for a few hours staring at nothing or else i'll become overwhelmed and have a panic attack. i want to drop out so badly because being around so many people makes me uncomfortable/nervious to the point where i arrive on campus a few minutes after classes start (on the hour mark) so i dont have to walk by as many people, but it would be nice for my parents to be proud or at least prove that im not useless (i dont really care about it but i dont know what would happen if i just decided to fail my classes)

horrible acne, i refuse to look at myself in the mirror. when i was in high school i gave myself a huge cut on my face because i hated the way i looked so much (also tried stabbing my eyes with a metal finial once), thought it was funny then started cutting my arms a little and still have a little scars so i wear long sleeves or a jacket all the time. i hate myself for being such an autist

i also hate how all i do is go to class, sit by myself and then go back to my and do nothing. i know i should be doing something more or trying to be with people but for some reason i can never get myself to do it, no matter how frustrated i get

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>>36294788
Because this thing doesn't fucking stop

>>36306484
Why didn't you give me a reply?

Fuck you

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no gf
no friends
only thing in life is lifting
on a cut, maybe i'll get a gf when they see my abs
noone responds to my posts

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no friends
no gf
failing 2 classes
no summer job
zero social ability
parents divorcing
probably losing it
I don't even like games anymore
or youtube
or music. I went to Your Name at the cinema and I guess I enjoyed it because it really drew me in, but now I'm sad for no particular reason over it (or maybe the reason is buried in my subconscious, bet that's what my therapist would say). And I can't sit through movies or even tv episodes at home.
at this point I'm just telling myself that a job and not having to go back to my parents will make me happy and sane again even though I know that's not true.

this has been an autism blog

>>36294788
>Going to uni out of state
>Best friends with a girl back home
>We have a really odd relationship where we call each other baby and shit all the time but we're not actually dating
>But I'm kind of in love with her
>I've asked her on dates in the past
>We went on one but the rest she's flaked. She's a really thoughtless person, I know she doesn't feel the same way about me but it hurts me when she doesn't even pretend to care about me
>Also sort of a degenerate slut who drinks/parties constantly
>Today she really hurt me. She said she was hiking with some friends. One time, though, I asked her to go hiking and she said she hated it
>Have not spoken to her since
Someone please tell me what to do. I love this girl but I know she doesn't like me. I'm terrified of losing/dropping her because she's the only friend I have. Help.

I just feel really empty all the time, nothing really touches me. My parents are divorcing and I don't care. There's a girl who loves me but I just don't feel anything for her, only mild lust, occasionally. Whenever I think about the future I just feel dizzy and all I can see is darkness, I feel bleak all the goddamned time. Literature and language learning are the only things that keep me alive.

>>36294788
The obvious reasons, of course (no gf, no sex, no career, no college education, etc.).

But tonight I'm especially bothered because I told my mom that I might make a dessert for Easter tomorrow and I didn't. I'm probably gonna stop at a store on the way to my parents' tomorrow and pick up a cake or pie or somethin', but I'm just really disappointed in myself. I put off doing what I should have done for no good reason and now I'm regretting it.

This has been my entire life and I know up until I'm on my death bed, this will be my life.

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>22
>fat
>depressed
>no motivation
>unattractive
>KHHV
>never had a job
>despite many applications i've only had one interview and i was almost immediately afterward told that i didn't get the job
>it was for stacking shelves at a supermarket
>even if i wasn't an idiot when it came to talking to girls i don't have any avenue to meet them
>drifting away from my friends because i don't feel attatched to them

i dont want to be alive
>don't feel strongly about anything anymore

>>36307056
hmm it's been a while since I've had friends but you may be overreacting to the hiking thing
if she is as close to you as it seems, then it may be like this: if I have "friends" out of obligation or a group of people I'm trying to get closer to, I'll do whatever they feel like doing. One time I went to a baseball game with some guys in high school even though I don't care about baseball, but I wanted them to like me. But if one of my best mates asked me if I wanted to go to a baseball game, I'd say fuck no you know I hate sports.
in short, from what you've said it's not clear that she doesn't hate hiking

>>36307159
The hiking thing was a while back, before we were really close

I was promised the world in school and no one not even my parents told me that life will spit on you hit your knee caps with a bat and keep you pinned down and if you let it do this you will be miserable the rest of your days. I am alone..my hole life I was never pushed to be better. We always won a participation "sticker" this is because for 12 years I had female teachers. When I graduated life hit me soo hard. I feel like a failure I have no gf I'm to much of a pussy to talk to women. Just turned 20 i want to change this I want to do something with my life. If life is working 50hrs a week in a factory moping floor i want out. I am ANGRY AND MAD I WANT TO CHANGE MY LIFE.

I've already been a schizoid trying to put himself out there but after my grandmother's death two years ago - whom we've been living and taking care of and whom I grew up living with - and since then my life has been a slow but steady downward spiral into nihilism

I feel that death takes us at unexpected and unpreventable moments and that solidified previous speculations that life and its values are meaningless. Granted that there's some days where I can react to this positively and seize the day but I'm just unmotiviated and tired on most days.

I've already been detached but I am even more so now. Life gives and takes people away, so we may enjoy those moments but it's best not to get too attached.

Still in university, I drink basically every day even if it's just beers, really really hoping this doesn't cause really really serious problems during exams

Will this ever end? I hope I do

I keep trying to believe in god but it's hard

>>36307722
Same. Just hard to believe some times

>>36294788

that were not dead yet because north korea fucked up today.

dammit you yellow gnome dick cucks get it right next time

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>>36294788
i really want to talk to kelly again, i really really do
idk if she still likes me or whatever but damn did she want me and damn was i scared
i have hard intimacy anxiety so it was hard for me even to look at her, and she waited a good 4 weeks for me to make some sort of irl move but i never did
god
fucking
daaaaaaaaaaaaaamn
not only that but i feel like joy wants my penor but im too scared to ruin what little friendship we have since i value her opinion so much cause she is the only girl my age i feel comfortable talking about my problems with
fuck ik im attractive but i am just too scared to go out and get girls
im still a KHV but i have more girls liking me than i can count
FUUUUUCKCKCKCKCKCCKK
LOVE ME KELLY
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I DONT EVEN HAVE MONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY
i also need to work on my confidence

My default state is sad.

Am doibg nofao. Actually feel the positive changes going through by body. Yet I cant hold a streak longer than 5 days because of those seconds of pleasure.

I am so dependant on an orgasn. I know that if I succeed in nofap it will be a huge postive change in my life but i can control my self to do that.

I know stoppibg porn use and masturbation won't instantly make me a chad but it is a small step forward. Yet i cant even do that.

>>36294788
I'm sad dental costs so goddamn much for major work.

I have 2 brothers who are chads, I am a fat fuck who can't be fucked to get /fit/. Everytime I go out to get food with them, girls look at them hoping to fuck them, and sometimes some even look at me, with a disgusted look on their face, and jokingly say to their friends "You can get the fat one". I used to go out alone and I'm used to being invisible to people, I didn't really mind when little shits look at me like I'm a giant who would eat them alive if they pissed me off, or if they pointed and laughed at me. Now that they're staying with me I can't even cry myself to sleep like I do almost every night. They don't even understand what it's like to be overlooked, almost everywhere they go, people stare out of awe. I wish I could just be alone again, or get a loving gf who won't even look at the direction of my chad bros. But I know deep in my heart, everytime I'm with her, she would think of ways on how to get to my brothers. I'm nothing more than a stepping stone for the gods who share the same genes as me.

>>36307941

Fucking yellow cucks fail at everything

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I'm a spineless people pleaser. I always put on a fake personality in order to be liked by everyone, but it feels hollow.

GF been more distant recently.
Pushes me away when I try to hold/hug her fairly often
Any time I try to kiss her she dodges
Doesn't talk to me as much
Seeing her less and less as of recently

>>36308859
She's cheating on you because you aren't fulfilling her anymore.

>>36308877
I would highly doubt that. She spends most of her time working and studying and then the rest is talking to me or doing stuff at home. Also I know she still likes me because just the other day she brought up marriage and long term us.

>>36308919
>no hugs, kisses, doesn't talk to you much
>pushes you away
>seeing her less and less

Anon come on now, she's fucking some dude on the side and wants you to settle down with her just to settle.

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she said to me today nobody has ever made her as happy as i have. that no one has ever done such kind things for her before. she's everything i've wanted and everything on paper says that she'd feel the same

but it's not looking like she does.

>>36308932
Nah it all started cause she's a virgin and we were making out one day and she pulled me on top of her and we kinda started sorta grinding and then she freaked out and pushed me off and yea it's been like that since then

>>36308974
>tfw rape victim
>tfw virgin talking of marriage already

Oh man, you're both young and still learning huh?

>>36308987
Yea we are pretty young. Her family is fairly religious so she feels torn of if she wants to do it but she has decided she will but just wants to take it slow so I'll endure :/

>>36309010
You've got a lot to learn my young friend, you and her both. I don't want to tell you that its not going to last, because it might certainly will, but the chances are very rare for it continue that way forever.

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>>36308968
it's like the more i talk to her the more i hurt cause i just can't find that one thing that'll make her love me. have you ever loved so much you want that person under your skin? we're so similar that it's like she's a female version of myself. but not quite, because a female version of myself would feel the same

>>36309040
Yea it certinly feels that way.
I'm her first BF and you can easily tell at times.

>>36309075
Well just go with the flow for now try and talk about your problems and work through them best you can, if you even can.

Enjoy the moment, don't worry about the future or what ifs, they'll always lead to disasters.

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Because I'm scared of school and growing up and work and I want 2D mommies to hold me and make me feel safe and make it so I don't have to worry about anything anymore. I need to be held and loved and safe. I'm not ready for any of this. I wanna go home. I miss my mommy. This isn't fair, I'm just a little boy

Recently transcended to normie
>get freinds
>go to parties
>get gf on Wednesday
>her ex kidnapped her on Friday
>listened to her tell me how he saw her talking on her phone to me and got really angry
>started beating her and then raped her
>her friend barges in and saves her mid rape
>I swear to her I'm going to castrate him
>police most likely won't do anything
>that was two days ago
>this feels so unreal it's like an anxiety nightmare I can't wake up from

It's been two years and he keeps reaching out. I can't let go of him. kms.

I fell for a gay guy tonight and my stupid pessimist brain is making me me imagine all the negative outcomes it's gonna bring. I'm nervous and I want him so bad that it hurts. The first time in my life I really connect with someone and it's a guy

>>36309188
You're so retarded and such a literal imbecile I spat out my drink laughing. Kill yourself.

>>36307056
From my experience, women cannot into friendship. I suggest you to move on and sever all ties you have with her. This relationship will bring you only more pain and humiliation.

>alone in a foreign country for 6 month
>LDR gf breaks up with me
>in return I hurt her even more
>still want her tho
>late on a lot of the work i'm supposed to be doing
>no motivation whatsoever

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what's a good heavy annie may to watch?
i've been clean for about a year

i like dramatic, 2deep4u shit like lain, kara no kyoukai, monster, steins; gate, rin: daughters of mnemosyne, etc.

>>36309188
If this is real story, than you are either a cuckold or a fool.

>>36309776
>2deep4u
It may seem like a obvious advice, but Evangelion. I was drunk for a week straight after that shit.

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>>36309790
seen it, along with EoE
should probably watch some of the newer movies though

>>36308321
Don't know if you're still here anon, but for anybody here.

They've actually begun to figure out a way to get around implants/dentures. Still obviously trying to perfect it for humans and get it mainstream, but they're starting to use stem cells and lasers to stimulate regrowth in jaw bone structure, enamel, holes, decay/meth/heroin mouth, tooth regrowth for lost teeth, etc.

Far less invasive and far less expensive. So for anybody with bad teeth, hopefully they can get this worked out properly within the next couple of years and everyone will be good with teeth. Though I don't particularly understand why Americans are so concerned with teeth. They're typically only good for about 35-40 years and about 90% of people from Age 20-34 have some form of cavities, missing teeth, severe tooth decay, gingivitis, etc. Not counting wisdom teeth. And counting fillings, and general dentistry work Age 20-34 people are missing around 4-5 teeth with about 13-14 of them worked on, which is half of your teeth.

>>36309188
Get btfo kiddo

I feel very alone right now.
I feel like i'm wasting my life accomplishing nothing and not feeling what I really want to feel.
Suffice to say this doesn't make me happy at all and after many years living like this i've realised that I'm just trying to acquire as many experiences as possible to hide the fact that I'm hurting from lacking in the kind of experience I want the most, e.g friends.

I'm running away from my abusive household. I'm just tired of my father hitting me or threatening that he would hit me. I hate being the punching bag and I hate seeing him hitting my younger siblings as well. I got punched, slapped and kicked in the stomach, legs.

My mother(s) just stood there and watched as he beat up his fucking daughter with his fists. He even belittled my depression. Said it didn't exist because it wasn't like I had to murder someone like he did.

Now, if I do end up living in a shelter and patching myself up, I would be happier but to be honest I think I'll just live for a bit until I ultimately kill myself.

>>36309776
Texhnolyze
Also
>steins;gate
>deep

>>36294820
nobody replied to this? am I the only one who found it weird?

>>36310857
>>36309779
This is 100% true
Why are you so mean :(