cringe shit you did

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>>36293034
Wore the fedora. TO SCHOOL

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>>36293034
>was like 9
>had a cool camera parents bought
>liked taking silly pictures of myself n making stupid faces n shit
>take picture of asshole
>forget about it
>over at uncles house with camera
>parents wanted to show some stupid family photos
>they see my asshole just there
>they call me over and tell me to delete it


god im so mad at myself i wish i never took that photo and i still cringe whenever i think about it

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>>36293034
>Be 16
>friendless silent type that no one knew existed
>sitting in history class watching a documentary about the slave trade
>BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAB.mp4
>massive wet fart comes out of my ass
>teacher gives me a sidways disgusted glance as he pauses the documentary.
>mfw my autistic rage meter fills up and I yell "GOD FUCKING DAM IT" at the top of my lungs
>didn't go to school for the next 2 weeks
>No one said anything but I know what they where thinking.
>Spend the rest of the year plus my senior year with no one talking to me unless its mandatory.

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I said hello to a girl i thought i knew but it wasn't her

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>>36293034
>be 9-ish
>at cousins place
>we like to sleep in a tent in the backyard in the summer
>she is about 6 years older
>shows me she can "bellydance"
>Tell her I need to "hold in to something"
>grab her puss puss.

This story is my kryptonite

>>36293410
god damn fucking alpha

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>>36293410
got more

>be tenth grade
>be hanging with anime/emo types
>the bigger girls starts to tickle me or some shit
>stick my foot in her puss puss
>this was in front of everyone

Also 10th grade
>Have GF for some reason
don't know how it happened, but it did
>anyways we cuddle
>get boner
>sing german ww2 songs to get it down
I did this in front of the whole crew

Be 14-ish
>Cousin wants me to sing for her
>Sing Panzerlied

Also gotten kicked out of severa parties for discussing Hitler in a positive manner

>around 8th grade
>have a crush on this girl for a while
>my friend devises a plan to get her and I alone so I can confess
>me, my friend, 2 girls, and my crush all meet up at the park around 7pm
>kinda dark out
>we're all playing on the swings and such
>my friend gives me the look
>he takes the 2 girls away somewhere
>crush is leaning against a railing
>go next to her
>make small talk
>say "hey so you know it's been a while"
>don't really know how to say what I want to say
>she begins to feel awkward
>"you know I..."
>can't do it
>pull out my phone, open my diary app, and show her the latest entry
>she reads it
>"did you see it?" I say
>"I dunno I just skimmed through it"
>ohmygod.gif
>friends comes back, we all walk my crush home
>he hugs her
>I make eye contact and motion for a hug
>she starts the motion too
>I freeze
>we stare at each other for a minute
>everyone's staring at us
>we say goodbye and go our separate ways

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>>36293524
My sides


You are hilarious

>>36293780
Ooooof
Hits too close to home

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>>36293524
>>36293803
More on the way

>Be about 10-ish
>Join my friend on a tripe to Greece
>Get served som non-alcoholic shot
>Act drunk and laugh my ass off while sipping from a waterbottle

Another one
>Same friend
>be at public pool
>we are about to get dressed and go home
>we lock ourselves inside the handicap place becuse fucking old naked guys everywhere
>about to put on my sock when suddenly something goes up my ass
>its his dick
mfw
>thursts a little bit, but since I was a fatty it only got stuck between my asscheeks
>we switch places and I do the same to him
>we stop out of nowhere
>put clothes on and go get slushies

>>36294016
>that last one

Possibly the biggest cringe I've ever read. At least it wasn't a public thing

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>>36293034
>high school
>really into lolicon bc of 4chan
>drew naked loli cat girl saying something along the lines of "o-onii chan, please be gentle..."
>hide in drawer
>months later she's gone through my shit to """clean""" my room
>can't find drawing anymore

>shat pants mid-class in high school because teacher wouldn't answer me despite waving my hand around like an absolute sperg and looking directly at me
>class ends with shit dripping down my pants and a huge brown circle on my autism jeans
>chad behind me goes YOOOOO WTF BRO LMAO and stacies giggle incessantly

>tried to be cool in gym and not run
>fat kid brags about how he beat me and when I tell him I wasn't even trying he just denies it

>same fat kid bullies me for being stupid and I retort with calling him poor and despite his good grades he'll never get into college because of his financial situation
>in the middle of a quiet class

>became such a shut in retard that if anyone tried to talk to me or look at me my entire face would turn bright red and I'd look away from them until they left

I'm sure there's more and I just don't remember.

>"break up" with autism gf loser for like twentieth time that week
>act super depressed and angry
>we have next class together
>sit on opposite sides of the room and glare at each other
>start listening to brostep to cheer up with headphones
>tearing up from it, banging my head around to he beat
>Stacy girl next to me looks at me like I'm crazy
>shoot her my most ebin' death glare of anger

Fucking high school

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>>36294016
More

>Be 11-12
>Be at friends house
>lets me surf on his pc while he sits on the bed behing me playing Nintento DS or some shit
>Hear behind me: "Anon?"
>turn around
>he's naked spreding his ass-cheeks showing me his cornholio
>he laughs
>I turn around and continue browsing Youtube
mfw

>>36294128
>not sticking the DS up there
Wat a beta

Somehow not original

>>36293243
Hahah, fuck anon that's hilarious, I loved having kids like you in my classes, they're the only people I actually miss from school

>>36294128
One more I remeber
>Same friend again
He was cray-cray. I always attracted that type of peronallity
>I'm at a sleepover at his place
>starts fapping in front of me
>some sticky shit comes out
>"Is that sperm?" I ask
>"yeah I think so" he says

Why do I get the psycho friends?

>>36294259
>>36294128
Fuck you anon, I would have loved to have a shota fuckbuddy friend at that age

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>>36294259
Same dude
>Near the apartment complexes we lived there was a small hut of some sort
>He pulls down his pants and shits in the corner
>goes on to talk about Pokemon

why me?

>>36294319
Different kid this time
>Lets call him Bert
>Bert was a neglected kid
>Berts mother DGAF about her child
>when we were over in the smmers she would be tanning on the balcony exposing her titties
>bert would be out of control if he did'nt get his way
>he would scream and it his mom in front of me and my friend
>One day Bert and earlier mentioned frieds gets into a fight
>I just sit on a chair on the other side of the room watching

>>36294290
We also dryhumped each other on sever occations

>>36294439
That's not cringe that's just kek

I told a girl I liked she looks like rukia kuchki

>>36293175
Fucking shit my man

>15
>playing with my lil cousin she is 7
>rub her tights and ass
>dad walks in
>screams at me and tells everyone
>mom gets on my side
>they divorce
>unbearable guilt since then cannot go to parties or outside my shed because i developed anxiety
was it really that bad i was just a horny teenager
i could say that ruined my life if i feel guilty about that i can't imagine how people who rape girls feel about that

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>>36293524
holy shit you remind me of myself, always parading Nazi shit as long i can remember. reminds me of something i did as a little kid.

>be me, 7 or 8
>at brother's soccer game in the park
>really bored
>go walk to the playground i always went to
>fucking around until i find charcoal on the ground
>pick it up and start drawing swastikas all over the concrete and walls with the peice of coal
>some old guy confronts me
>looked jewish, big nose, bald, fat
>he asks if i know what swastikas are
>n-no (i obviously do)
>"thats a german nazi, they gassed six gorrilion joos, never do that agian blah blah blah"
>walk away like nothing happened, parents never found out

Here i am now, still an autistic nazi
also i bought Mein Kamph and some other nazi books when i was 11-12

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>>36293034
sent a girl i liked gore on MSN

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>>36294439
Hapened literally just now

>Mother tells me she going to bed
>decide to have a fap
>start fapping
>get really into it
>Log out to get tissue
>right when I do she bursts in starts talking about godknowswhat
>yeahwhatever.jpeg
>lingers like noone lingered before
>I just stare blankly at the wallpaper
>gives me a hug and walk out

Arousal level: Gone
fuck you, mom

>>36295020
I just want to clarify that she was not in the room when I started fappin'

**Breaking Cringe**

Just made fun of this kid on this show my mom was watching because he got caught jacking off and I tried roasting him and acted like I never fapped in my life, she then says the neighbors had a camera in their house when I was house-sitting for them 12 years ago.
anyway she (and most likely the entire neighborhood)knew I jacked off on every picture in the house and me and my brother dry humped like crazy in every room in the house

>>36295020
is she ugly?or milfy
?

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>>36293034
> 16
> first days of high school

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>>36293175
>>36293175
You think that's bad?
>be me
>like 17 years old with twin 13 year old sisters
>vogue twin always gets the latest technology
>one day receive second hand iPhone 4s
>decide to test out the camera
>take a bunch of random photos and the for some fucking reason decide to take photo of my dick
>literally minutes later sister walks into my room and shoves the photo in my face on her new phone
'Uhh, hey I don't know who's that is'
>can clearly see by bedsheets and the shorts I was currently wearing in the photo
>she deletes the photo and walks out obviously really uncomfortable

I forgot to turn off her fucking iCloud account on the second hand iPhone

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>qt crush
>think of plan to make her mine
>get her a hat with her name on it
>give it to her
>"geeeeeeee thanks anon"
>she gives it back to me
>says it doesnt fit
>one size fits all

>>36293034


>be at university
>hang out with some cute, although awkward, girl when we have the same lectures
>she is pretty easy to talk to tho, so I always enjoyed her company
>go to eat something after a lecture in the cafeteria
>place is completely jammed
>get our stuff and go to the register
>I lose her along the way in the crowd
>think "whatever", she probably found some other friend of hers and dropped me, I do not mind
>go to some table and get rid of my food quickly
>get up and walk to next lecture, read some book while waiting
>girl suddenly approaches me
>"anon, what the fuck, I waved at you like crazy, you looked in my direction and completely ignored me"
>do not even know what to say, already deleted the whole problem in my brain
>"haha, I guess I did not see it, sorry"
>ended up sitting with her the next lecture and the conversations with her were awkward as fuck

Did not cringe back then, but now the memory really pains me. I think I even saw her, but deliberately refused to acknowledge it. She was such a nice girl and I had to play the walled off sperg for some reason. Worst thing is that I ended up treating her like this over and over again. If it would be some roastie bitch it would be okay, but this girl honestly did not deserve this.

>>36294899
If you bought a book called Mein Kamph, you got ripped off hard

>>36294843
I hope you're joking.
By age 15 you should know better.
I got caught humping my sister when I was like 6 and she was like 4. I was imitating my dog... Not acting on sexual urges.
You deserve that shit. She was fucking 7. If you're gonna molest someone at the age of 15 at least let them be old enough to understand what sex is too.

>>36295095
This. I would have probably maintained an erection.

>>36295813
who the fuck would wear a hat with their name on it

>>36298918
I don't care about the incest part
It's the age

>>36299105
I was thinking that, but still...

>>36295089
>I jacked off on every picture in the house and me and my brother dry humped like crazy in every room in the house

hysterical

>>36293175
Lmao I did this shit too

>>36293034
>high school
>cute girl with an unbelievable ass is into me, friend tries to set her up with me, wingmanning me in class all the time
>she sits next to me, always flirting
>asks for my number
>texts me, actually dont sperg out and maintain a decent conversation
>one night shes drunk, asks to come over and hang out(with a winky face)
>say sure, pick her up, shes hammered giggling and touching all over me
>live with my mom only, shes out of town on business so perfect
>get home, go to the basement and turn the TV on, pop in the first movie I find on the shelf, star wars episode 3
>actually havent seen it yet and was looking forward to it, but whatever, its just background noise
>shes cuddling up to me, has a few beers she brought in her backpack so shes staying drunk
>too scared to do anything but shes still touching all over me the whole time
>part comes where anakin is near the lava and obi kenobi has the high ground
>she puts her hand in my underwear giggling
>yell "STOP IM WATCHING", so engaged in the scene
>she pulls back and pouts, gives me a mad look
>grabs her backpack and storms up the stairs out of the house, don't know how she got home
>probably lost my only chance to get laid ever because i didnt see star wars in theatres when it came out

>>36299438
Heh r-roasties b-btfo

>>36299438
It's okay anon. I had a girl touch my dick through my pants and I said "Shit, I'm thirsty lemme get some water" then proceeded to admit to her that I did it because there was no way I could get hard.

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>be 14 and emo as shit
>make friends with emo 2 yrs above in HS
>up all night because autistic 4channer even then
>he starts talking to me on skype
>we video chat
>he cuts his wrists and cries on webcam
>i agree to sneak out to meet him at 2am
>we sit on church steps and talk all night
>i kiss his cheek
>he rejects me
>go home

>school next day
>"hey, fembot, i heard you had sex with emo guy"
>i fucking wish
>get called a slut all day

>go home and post screenshots of him crying and cutting wrist on his fb page

>>36299997
Not really cringe. He deserved it if he was beta enough to lie that he fucked you.

>>36299997
>>he cuts his wrists and cries on webcam

Even at 14, you should have recognized that as a huuuuge red flag and broke off all contact immediately.

>>36300074

Was cringe for me due to rejection, then the shame.

>i leaned in to kiss his cheek
>he puts hand on my shoulder
>pushes me away
>"I have a gf."
>he stands up
>i stand up
>awkwardly hug
>"thanks for being there for me, fembot."
>go home and cry

>>36300341

I wanted the d.

Let me tell you guys about my first day of 8th grade, because it was probably the most autistic day of my life.

>Arrive to school in a kilt
>Get shown around the school by some Chad
>Didn't pay attention while being shown around so I have no idea where my classes are.
>Eventually figure out that I have a very similar schedule to someone else so I just stalk them all day
>Lunch time rolls around and I go sit with the Chad and his Chad friends because he's the only person I know
>Make small talk and eventually one of the Chads asks me about my pets
>I had two dogs, one of which my parents decided to name after a Dr. Who character
>Didn't want to tell the chads this so when they asked what my dogs were named I said "I forgot."
>They look at me like I'm fucking retarded.
>Never speak to Chads again.
>PE comes around and I'm still in a kilt because I didn't bring gym clothes
>Play volleyball with a couple other socially awkward people

Not sure why I didn't just kill myself when I got home.

about 6 years ago i knew this girl, i was really lonely and used to invite her over and gave her free drugs just so she'd hang out with me for a bit to watch a movie or something. i knew she didn't really like me and just wanted the drugs, but it was still nice to hang out with her, sometimes we would end up cuddling and falling asleep.

its pathetic and i would never do anything like that again, even though i'm probably even more lonely than i was back then

>>36294843
> 15
yeah you're a sick pedophile. Youre only remorseful because you got caught you sick fuck. Kill yourself

> molesting your 7 year old cousin a year before 16

just wow

>>36298918
you sick fucking pedophile fuck. I honestly would happily torture a pedo to death

>13-ish
>thought Jizz in my Pants by Lonely Island was the pinnacle of comedy
>thought jizz meant piss
>asked dad if he'd ever jizzed in his pants
>he stared at me for a long time
>"anon why would you ask that"

>>36300774
it's ok anon, when I was 13 I went to school on non uniform day in a gi that my brother had from Judo

Probably still one of the worst days of my life

>>36300774
> arrive to school in a kilt

immediately lost it

>when I was like 3/4 used to stay at cousin's house (same age)
>not knowing any better, we'd do 'lewd' stuff because genitals were crude and funny xD mentality
>completely forget about it because I was so young
>be like 13 or something
>parents call me in to have an intervention
>apparently he told his parents 10 years later who told mine
Why man, I forgot it even happened then you pull this

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>>36293780
>pull out my phone, open my diary app, and show her the latest entry

I'm officially done

>>36302706
wait

wait

wait


Jordan?

>break phone
>dad lends me his
>bored because he has no games, decide to browse gallery
>suddenly a picture of my mum's snatch
>absolutely horrified
>picture burned into my memory forever
I genuinely have PTSD from it, years later and random things will remind me of it and it'll stay in my head for hours

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>>36295020
>mother casually strolls in <45 seconds after I've ejaculated all over myself
>pull comforter over me tightly, very uncomfortable
>sits on edge of the bed and obliviously chats for 15 minutes
REEEEE MUMMY GET OUT I JUST BLEW MY LOAD I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT MY COUSINS

>have ex-girlfriend
>get drunk at a sleepover at friends and message her years after we last spoke
>plan on getting a milkshake with her to catch up
>suddenly my friend decides it's a good idea to come to with his gf and other people
>wtf no
>meet girl with like 6 other people when it was supposed to be just the two of us
>was still socially awkward and didn't know how to even talk, let alone break the ice with 6 different people I didn't know also being there
>didn't say a word the entire time
>ex leaves after half an hour clearly embarrassed for me
This probably hits me the most, why didn't I just say something lmao. It probably wouldn't have led to anything anyway, but at least it wouldn't have been such an embarrassing experience.

>>36298964
I wore a hat with my name on it for years until I lost it. I got it at one of those custom-stores at the mall in 2004, for no particular reason, when oddball brick and mortar stores still were viable.
I am a diagnosed sperg, but that particular memory never bothered me much... was it that bad?

>13
>have dog that loves licking people's feet
>mum says it has a foot fetish (didn't know what that meant)
>in science class a few weeks later
>teacher talking about mental implulses
>randomly say "my mum says my dog has a foot fetish" innocently thinking it's some sort of mental thing
>teacher just stares at me
Didn't see the harm in it at the time but god fuck years later I realize I could have ended social life with that quote, luckily I think everyone else was too innocent to know as well

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>>36303030
Cool digits.
People made fun of me for literally everything else I did, even when it probably wasn't justified. I have no idea why they let that one go.
Maybe it was:
>probably thought you were literally retarded
and pity started to kick in, who knows?

>>36296996
I get this problem all the time, I've very badly short sighted and often wear earphones while walking alone in public
I've had friends scream at me and flail their arms about to get my attention and I've just walked straight past kek

>>36293034
>"Will you sit next to me if I give you my pringles?"
>"Sure"
>he invites his friend to sit next to us and then ignores me for the rest of the lunch period.

>>36293034
>Be me 17
>Girl I really like just started talking to me agian after 2 months via Skype and Kik.
>She says her gf just broke up with her and she wants to meet.
>Fuck yes I'm gonna get laid
>Instead of being patience I start being a dumb fuck and asking stupid ass questions.
>She says she's sorry and we can't met now.
>Fuck my life.jgp
>Month later she gives me a second chance and wants to Skype call
>Start call see her talking but can't hear her, forgot my fucking headphones and was at a Starbucks using their wifi, she looks freaked out, ends call.
>Next day she breaks up with me and starts insulting me and refuses to talk to me.
>Month later she starts dating someone else.
>Fuck my life.jgp.
>Turn 18 and move far away as a bitter virgin still using a sushi website.
Fuck my life why must it be this way.

>>36302119
Okay I laughed
Oregano

>>36294111
>drew cartoon figures of the people on my table on my jotter
>we were all friends and it went well
>later on in the year completely forget the drawings were on the cover
>standing my jotter up since I was reading it rather than writing in it
>chad turns around to see all these cartoon drawings
>does the obvious chad thing and shouts about it making it a big deal
>had to explain to the entire class and teacher that each drawing represented someone on my table
>get criticized because I gave one of the girls huge tits

>>36302706
Kek, when I was 5 me and my friend licked each other's dicks. We never talked about it but it was weird seeing him when we were older. When we were 17 we smoked weed together.

>>36303247
I've done this 3 times now, cousin when I was 4, best friend when I was about 10, other best friend when we were 16.

Apparently the dude when we were 10 had done it to like half our friend group, he would lure them in to do lewd stuff and actually stuck his dick up another kids ass like a week before

>>36302917
My dog likes to lick toes, I like when he does it. It's cute.

>>36293034
>7th grade
>Stand up to stretch
>fart
>not a quick *snap* but more like a solid *CLAAAAAAAPPPP* sound
>Trip over desk trying to run
>Teacher calling me by name to return to my seat
>Trip over my shoelaces as I get to the door
>Bloody nose
>Run outside
>Teacher ends up coming out to talk to me and convince me to come back or she'll call my mom

The name "Farty McManass" followed me through high school...

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>>36296996
>when you hear your name and just assume they're shouting at someone else

>>36303400
Every fucking time. Every single fucking time.

>>36303169
this is the most retarded thing ive read on 4chan this month

>>36303395
In hindsight? You're right. Not like I've done anything with my life at 22.

>>36301929
>>36298964
>>36298901
She keeps contact with me she asks me why i don't go to family reunions
Probably she doesn't even remembers besides it was just rubbing
fuck i know people who get away with worse shit

>>36303481
You're telling me, I blame my autism.

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school did this thing with this local ice-skating rink as a sort of fundraiser where students get discounts if they go on a certain friday every year

>be me
>school friday night skate
>want to tell crush I like her
>write little note for her
>basically just says I think youre really pretty I like you blah blah
>sign my name with little heart
>skate up behind her
>plan was to give it to her stand there while she reads it
>mentally picture spahgetti falling out everywhere
>decide to just place it in the hood of her jacket
>sneak it in
>success
>10 minutes later friend comes up and hands it to me
>says it "fell out" of her hood and he found it
>hands it back to me and says maybe I shouldnt try and put it back in
>winks and gives empathetic look
>later see crush looking at me weird
>next day everyone knows I have crush on her and teasing me about it
>never talk to her again

fucking hell I was just trying to see what would happen maybe youd talk to me and you cant even reject me to my face AND you have to tell the whole school.
what harm did I ever do to you

>>36303525
it's not that you're autistic, it's that you're a literal retard

>first day of grade 7
>english teacher asks everyone to go up to the front of the class and say something about themselves
>my turn
>"my name is anon and i play runescape"
>instant outcast

>>36303640
Yes and that's why im on here bitching about how my life is horrible and instead of having a gf and being happy.

>>36299438
You got cucked by the Star Wars prequels. Nice.

>from ages 5-8 I made out with my female cousin every weekend
>she even shows me how to French kiss
>tfw my maid knew
>fast forward to when we both reach puberty, I'm 13 she's 14 I think
>at the beach house late at night
>"anon my sister grew boobs and she let me touch them, do you want to touch mine"
>say "no thanks" like the retard I am
>awkward silence
>"anon wait here I have to pee"
>I say "you're already on your swimsuit why don't you pee here"
>she starts peeing and some of the pee puddle touches my foot

it may not sound like something really cringe but when I think about it I wanna kill myself

She's my first cousin by the way.

>>36303714
gf =/= happiness

another reason you're retarded

>>36301791
t. Pedobear

>>36303889
>cucked
The prequels didn't steal the girl from him and fuck her.
Why does cuck no longer mean what it used to.
It's kinda like how the words "cool" and "chill" stopped meaning "cold" many years ago.

>>36303969
Dude, you could have touched them right then and there for free. Regardless of how autistic you are. Why.

>be college freshman
>oneitis is a girl in my Physics course, we've talked irl before this like maybe twice
>in room playing EU4
>suddenly get a facebook notification
>holy shit it's her
>"come to my room rn"
>assume it's some party
>head down to Oneitis's room
>guy playing as fox suddenly gets all anal
>head up to bathroom hear fapping noises
>mom into succubus
>head up to bathroom hear faping noises
>.
>oneitis in bed
>guy playing as fox suddenly gets all anal
>mom into succubus
>hear fapping noises

>>36303986
Well if a gf isn't make me happy then what will? I thought a gf is the one thing everyone on this board wants but is unable to attend.

>>36304068
Please explain, this tingles my interests

>>36303986
maybe some, but a true robot doesnt feel the need or want for such things.

hence being a ROBOT as the name implies.

>be in high school
>in french class
>have phone
>was popular for kids to take video and spread memes of people and shit
>decide to do it to girl next to me
>SHE CATCHES ME TAKING PICTURE
>me being the autist i am, didnt realize that it totally looked like i did a creepshot
>didnt mean it
>small class, teacher wasnt paying attention (thank god), but the other kids noticed
>get embarrassed as fuck
>forget about it after 15 minutes or so
>go to bathroom to take a piss
>come back, she asks me "if i enjoyed myself" and giggles
>never talk to or acknowledge women again through high school.

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>me. 16.
>had a crush on my school.
>my course was on the basketball field so we can hear a speech.
>saw with my peripherial view that my crush was looking at me.
>tried to stand out and pretend i wasn't watching her
>suddenly starts smelling bad
>realized i step on dog shit
>looked at her and she was laughing at me
>had to stand up listening to a speech while smelling like shit
>skipped the first class bc i was on the bathroom while cleaning out my shoes

Damn, i still cringe..

>circa 2013
>girls asks to netflix and chill
>I go over to her place
>she makes some alcoholic drinks for us
>turn on netflix
>she seems uninterested in netflix for some reason
>I choose an interesting look documentary
>finish movie
>she feel asleep on the couch
>I go home

>Be me
>Second school dance, 6th grade
>Was in conjuncture with other private schools
>meet this one girl
>Looked like an 8/10
>We hangout and dance
>Thought I was cool, really just doing this autistic failure of a cartwheel.
>say I want to talk to her more after the night, she agrees
>Get her Facebook info
>Go home after the dance
>See her Facebook, 4-5/10
>Never talk to her again
I cringe.

>>36304471
I honestly wish I knew a girl that I could netflix and chill with without intending on it being sexual. I just wanna chill and drink with a girl.

>Be me
>10 years old
>Say, "My underwear feels tight" to a girl you were trying to impress
>Die

>be me
>15
>home alone
>play nazi songs on really loud speaker

>>36294160
There is no fucking way that wasnt original.

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>>36293034
Shit and I thought I successfully repressed this one
>be me in 7th grade
>just started edgy atheist phase
>it's spirit week and every day you have to come to school with a different outfit (for example there was pijama day)
>it's fictional character day
>come into school with my normal clothes and cotton glued to my face like a "beard"
>people ask who I'm supposed to be
>say god
>dead silence
>thought I probably blew people's minds and that they thought I was cool
In retrospect I realize they just thought I was autistic

>>36294899
>tfw this resonates with me
>having fond nostalgia for being an internet racist at 13

Jesus Christ what is wrong with me. I was absorbed in edgelord power fantasies at that age.

>>36301899
Under-originally-rated post

I was obsessed with ghosts and UFOs at age 11-13. I even told several of my friends I was a ghost hunter and could capture spirits in a polaroid camera and kill them by burning the photo. Thankfully none of them had seen Fatal Frame. I also believed I was an ancient reincarnated soul from some precursor race before humanity and I had ESP powers to bend metal. I was a fucking turboautist.

Pretty much everything I ever said in group therapy at about the age 13

>>36293034
Told a girl I like about some guy I know who spreads his asshole and takes pictures of it and uploads it on the internet. She stopped talking to me a little while after that.

>>36302764
I've also seen pictures of my mother's snatch, but I don't remember them that well.

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>be primary school
>one teacher found mistletoe
>hung it up above door
>later
>one of my same gender friends standing under one probably without being aware
>remember hearing people kiss under mistletoe
>I decide sneaking up for the kiss is a good idea
I know this was primary but just why
we were not that good friends even
there was simply no reaction and nobody mentioned it again ever

>>36306497
o-oh
I think you might be right

>>36293034
You faggot, she maybe was liking the shit out of that moment and awkwardly tried to act cool. Why the fuck did you stopped talking to her?

>>36305602
I've developed selective memory from all the cringy shit I did (you wouldn't believe how much cringy shit I've done)

>>36303696
Man Runescape was played by everyone, even the cool kids, in grade 5 and 6 (c. 2002-2003)

>>36302764
Reminds me of the time some drunk fat chick threw my phone across the room when she was rifling through my pictures and saw one of my dick. Why would you snoop around on someone's phone like that without permission?

>>36293034
>be me now
>love girl
>never tell her even when she asks me how I feel about her
>puts head in my lap while watching TV together
>never try anything

I cringe every single day when I think about how obvious it was that this girl loved me too.

>>36300774
A-a-are you Scottish too?

>>36304439
>basketball field

I assume you're not American?

>>36303889
He has done that himself

>high school stories: the thread.

kill yourselves

>>36307389
Why even bother posting that? You are one sad, retarded mongrel.

>>36305207
I would have thought you were interesting, at the very least. Maybe not cool, maybe a bit overbearing, but interesting. It takes at least a little guts to do something like that.

>Make fake Chad tinder profile
>Match with tons of Stacys
>One of them wants to meet up and fuq
>Agree to meet that same night
>Remember I am not Chad
>Feels bad
>AmazonNow a giant dildo
>Dildo arrives and I tape it to my leg
>Arrive at club to meet Stacy
>Too dark for her to see me properly and too loud to talk properly
>Hug her such that she feels what I am packing
>Order a drink
>Sneak into the bathroom with her
>Make out and bend her over
>Pull out the dildo and toss it away so she doesn't notice
>Penetrate her and loose my virginity
>Quickly cum and run away
>Cease all contact

Do this with tons of Stacys now

>>36295629
Always, always, ALWAYS factory reset if you get a used phone. People always leave dumb shit on their phone or forget to sign out of their accounts. Same goes for giving one to someone else, I'd be fucking dead if I handed someone my phone with everything in it right now.

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>>36303353
i lost it lmao

>>36298964
Bulma does

>>36307504
This isnt cringe man you deserve 6 gorillion upboats good sir. Well memed!

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>grow up in bible belt in high school
>coincidentally also grow up where jungle fever virus is contagious
>be small skeletal
>apparently nigresses were into that kinda shit
>constantly get teased by black chicks
>succumb to jungle fever and have occasional erections
>have mild peyronie's from chronic masturbation since i was little and discovered porn
>imprint shows curved dick
>one day a girl spots the imprint
>all the black girls and eventually the school call me "Curvy Claus" until graduation

>>36294625
woooooow what nade you think it was a good idea?

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>>36304068
>guy playing as fox suddenly gets all anal
>mom into succubus

>>36293034
>13
>have friend over
>we play xbox and shit
>gets late
>bedtime
>we sleep in same bed
>have a boner
>he's sleeping
>dry hump him

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=00pkNz0SgX4

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>>36308973
Ouch dude. That's hurt me physically

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>be 18
>jerking off in bed before getting up for classes
>finish and bask in the afterglow, cummies caught in my hand
>mom bursts into room before I can get up to wash hands, "anon, I need you to sign this!"
>grimacing, take pen from her with jizz dripping from my fingers and sign
>return it to her open palm, her fingers close slowly around it
>stares for fifteen seconds

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>About 14 years old on a trip to the zoo with my class
>Piss in an empty apple juice bottle and go around to every kid to get them to drink it
>I thought it was 10/10 hilarious at the time
>10 years later I get flash backs of my classmates faces and realise how grossed out they were and I understand why my life has been so lonely and friendless

Pic is their exact reaction

>>36302764
Archer?

Oregano

>be in 7th grade
>lunch back then was kinda good. chicken nuggets and pizza stuff like that
>today was chow mein
>eat like 3 bowls because skinny and under-fed at that time
>next day
>its about noon after lunch, just started 4th period i think
>had horrible stomach issues since i woke up that morning
>wet, questionable farts all day
>sitting in class and get a very sudden urge to shit
>instanly rise out of my seat and speed walk out of the classroom
>normaly you ask the teacher if you can go to the restroom, if you didnt you got in trouble
>probably looked suspicious
>get in bathroom
>have to shit very badly at this point
>pretty much jumping to the stall trying not to poop myself
>as i approach the toilet, im at that point where you turn around to sit down
>diherrea shoots out of my ass, on the toilet seat, my pants and floor
>fuck
>see long strip of slightly digested lettuce on my boxers that was in the chow mein the day before
>smells like rotting vegetables in bathroom
>desperately wipe my pants with toilet paper in hopes of getting diherrea smell off of them
>eventually cant smell diherrea any more after 15 mins in the bathroom trying to clean it off
>must mean nobody else can smell it
>pull up pants, still damp from shit
>go to class like nothing happened
>>>everyone is sitting on the floor doing group project
>my ass and shit damp clothes woft by all of the students faces
>kid i sat with in class said i smelled like horrible BO
>go on with my day as if i didnt shit ass water all over my pants
>try to avoid eye contact with anybody because deep down i knew everyone could smell me
Boy i was retarded

>>36293064
For pretty much the entirety of 2nd grader i wore a fedora.
Got mad puss

>17 at high school formal after party
>Drinking very cheap wine nicknamed goon
>Start to feel funny , first time drinking
>Goon is extremely strong I drank too much
> My ex GF is there along with everybody else in year 12
>I'm black out drunk stumbling around the backyard in front of all my peers
>Suddenly start crying like a bitch begging my ex GF to take me back
>No mates help me
>3 people whom I wasn't too close with called my parents and got them to pick me up
>I'm throwing up everywhere crying like a bitch
>Woke up the next day in my house with no memory
>Go the toilet and bits and pieces start to come back
>I don't want to remember, it's too painful, I process downstairs to get absolutely screamed at and owned by my parents in regards to drinking
>They have no clue or concept about the humiliation and simultaneously losing all my friends and the respect from every person in grade 12
>Went back to school a few days later, looked at by all as a complete loser, nobody talked to me anymore friendships that were formed in primary school turned to ashes
>Thank God there is only three more days left before we all graduate
>Live with this public humilation for years unable to move on constantly haunted by this night unable to sleep form friends or be myself without feeling like a peice of garbage not worthy of life, constant thoughts of suicide
>Didn't learn self control for drinking I went out time and time again to clubs and pubs alone since no one wanted to be around me. Being tipsy was the only time I felt comfortable in my skin and was able to socialize without extreme anxiety
>I was still mentally and physically a child at 18/19 and I continued to drink like a retard and publically humilate myself every time, got known for being "that guy" and the locals looked at me with disgust, bouncers hated me
>So any shitty nights out drinking with regret filled days that ate and consumed me for years


1/2

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>>36304068
>Mom into succubus

>>36309219

>The pattern I trapped myself in stunted my personal growth it was only until I tried LSD 8 years later and I could finally forgive myself, control myself and love myself.

The redemption

>Lived as a nervous introvert for years, rejected invites and new people I to my life because I was scared they would find out I'm a peice of shit
>Start to come out of my shell slowly after dropping acid
>Invited to the work Christmas party
>Alcohol and hard drugs would be there, this made me worry as my hedonism knows no limits and I couldnt live with myself if I behaved made a complete loser ass out of myself like every other time
>Brought a carton of Miller's chill lime, tastes good and not strong so if I lose control it can't escalate to full retard levels
>Promise myself I will not drink spirits of mix my drinks, max 10 beers in X amount of hours
>Drop my old mindset of being a worthless peice of shit not deserving of anything just for a night
> Have a fucking fantastic time and connect with so many co workers like I have never done before, almost the life of the party teir, cracking jokes making people howl with laughter left and right.
>Stay at a respectable tipsy level the whole time based Miller's chill
>The next day get invites to 2 different Facebook group chats and make friends with most the people at my job
>That night I bawled my eyes out in a park because the feeling of acceptance was so potent and mysterious, all these years wasted punishing myself trapped in a viscous cycle of hatred self loathing and drug abuse.
>Life has been improving and I'm finally at peace with myself, might even go to the high school 10 year reunion

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>>36309400
thats more sad than cringe anon... :(

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>>36293034
>unironically doing crappy minecraft videos when I was 13
I shiver every time it pops in my head

>>36304005
Underrated nostalgic meme

>>36304821
There's nothing I want more than to cuddle with a girl while watching tv

>>36309611

Thanks for reading my story bro, i have never shared it with anyone before but i felt tonight was the night. One thing that made me feel better when i was at my worst was reading other peoples drunk stories, hopefully it can help a fellow anon stuck in a rut

I have come to find that Cringe and Sadness are cut from the same ilk. As the cringe level rises the sadness will intensify based on the damage you actions have done.

It was a rough lesson to learn as a kid but looking back now i feel much stronger for overcoming memories and making a positive change. I occasionally get a cringy twinge but i have learned how to deal with those emotions and funnel them productively.

>summer going into 9th grade
>massive crush on female friend
>people around me are starting to get gfs
>I am a hopeless ugly chubby kid into anime
>text female friend because why not
>friend is on vacation
>we chat for a little bit
>out of nowhere things get serious
>we start talking about her bad family life (parents were drug dealers)
>opens up to me about how she feels worthless, I do the same
>this goes on for a bit
>"Gn anon, I need some sleep"
>get text about an hour later
>"hey"
>"I've been thinking, we have such similar issues and hobbies, plus I think your kinda cute sooo"
>holy fuck yes
>ask her on a date to see some shitty horror flick when she gets back
>we both don't even wanna see it, but it's the only thing in theaters
>talk and flirt until 5am
>happiest I've ever been
>next morning
>she still talks to me but seems out of it
>don't think too much of it
>A week of this goes by
>she gets home tomorrow
>get text at 2am
>"anon, I can't do this anymore..."
>don't hear from her for over a week
>defeated inside
>another week passes by
>"hey, I need to come clean"
>"I never actually wanted to go out with you, it was my sister messing with me and you"
>start crying

I lost it, I shut myself in for the rest of summer bc if her

But it continues

>I don't talk to her for over a year
>I finally talk to her again
>we both apologize
>start talking in person more
>we both feel a connection going on
>invited to her house for a party (first time I've been invited to one)
>excited as fuck
>first one to arrive
>we both sit together awkward as fuck and are super embarrassed
>her sister walks in
>"Oh yeah, I invited a few more people btw"
>10 minutes later my friends mega chad ex shows up
>he starts threatening me and shit
>eventually he manages to win my friend over again
>they cuddle and make out for hours
>I have to sit there and watch because I had to wait for a bus

I hate her and her sister to this day. They are basically responsible for my crippled self esteem.

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>>36309773
it was a good story anon, it certainly brings up some bad drunken memories, but none as widely humiliating as yours :/

regardless, you've overcome it. best wishes anon :)

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>>36293524
kek
i did the hitler thing too
>be 20
>at party
>standing around outside smoking
>start talking to some guy about shit
>start saying things supportive of hitler as a meme
>"hitler was a stand-up guy"
>dude starts losing his shit
>arguing with me loudly
>progressively get more memey
>"hitler was a stand-up comedian"
>dude is having none of it, not even listening at this point
>get known as the insane edgy nazi to everyone this guy talks to
>still successfully make out with a fat autistic girl
this was 4 years ago
today i successfully have 0 friends

>>36309921
I'm gonna kill myself, I saw the comf wojak and thought this was a feels thread.

>11-12 year old boy
>I liked Hello Kitty and kawaii things like that but was too embarrassed to admit it
>Was homeschooled and went to a homeschool group a few times in a week so became family friends with some other parents who homeschooled
>Overheard one of the mothers from that group talking to another, she had two daughters
>Mentions something about having a stash of old "girl toys" to give away
>Frustration increases because I like kawaii things but am not a "girl" and couldn't admit it
>Misdirect my frustration toward this poor woman and write a letter basically complaining about "muh gender roles" in a proto-SJW style but I was a kid so I couldn't use any proper terminology
>Pass it off to her while she's sitting next to some other mothers from the homeschool group (including my own mom) then run off
>Remember watching her open and start reading the letter
>Thankfully I repressed whatever happened after this because my last memory of it is watching her reading from afar

>>36302119
Holy shit I had the same exact thing happen to me. I would sing that song in like 6th grade in class before I knew what it meant. Also around that time on facebook I would always say "cumming" instead of "coming" without knowing what it meant cuz I wanted to make myself unique.

>>36302119
in home ec class or whatever it is. we made pillows that were different shapes of things. I made a guitar one, and my sister said it was my dildo. I had no idea what it ment so I asked people on the bus to pet my dildo

>>36303169
if you were like in a group chat or something, then ya talking to someone would be a bit rude, but skyping with a qt is always socially acceptable, you were gonna be heard talking anyway.

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>>36309966
>"hitler was a stand-up comedian"

>>36309400
>>36309568
Dunno if you'll see this, but that was a good roller coaster ride - from heart breaking to heart warming. I'm happy for a brother that broke out of their cage.

Although, your former 'friends' sound heartless as fuck. Friends since childhood and they just ditched you like that? If they were real friends, they woulda been all "bros before hoes", but turned their fucking back on you instead.

So who are you gonna hang out with at your reunion then?

>>36306965
Most depressing post this week desu

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>>36309921
fuck broham

>>36309921
Why didnt you tell that cunt to fuck off

>>36310677

Thanks bro, Yeah it was quite a ride i wanted to build a time machine for years haha.

It was harsh but at the same time i had trouble facing and looking into anyone's eyes so the shame certainly kept me depressed and down leading to further isolation and you know how quick your life changes after school.

I don't know who i will hang out with, i want to do it for myself mostly i dont care about anyone there... i cant. Its the last rung on my ladder out of the guilt/shame pit

>>36303300
>checked
nice double dubs friendo

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>>36293034
This is a good start for a cringe thread.

>>36302764
Fuck you, i actually saw my mothers snatch one time and had finally forgotten about it. Your post triggered the memory

>>36293780
>8th grade,phone, diary app

Nigga how old are you.

>>36302837
why the fuck did you even tell your friend about it

>>36309400
i can tell you're australian too but this is bretty fkd up ,all this because you got drunk one night????
I have had several friends and people in my year and in other years and in other schools get blackout drunk,pass out ,embarass themselves e.t.c people snapchatted it or made jokes for 1 or 2 weeks then forgot about it
soz anon

>>36309568
Proud of you homie

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>>36311994
how do you know hes australian? 'goon'?

>>36293034
>Naruto the hedgehog running
>Writing in all caps
>Not writing in Cursive
>Reading actual books
>Studying
>Free thought
>Not going directly to college post graduation
>Legitimately trying to learn nipponese

>>36312026
Not him but i would assume so, common slang for boxed wine over here

>>36304068
>faping noises
>.
>guy playing as a fox suddenly gets all anal
>mom into succubus
Enlarge my text in the screencap

>>36294319
>>36294259
>>36294128
how
how does that even happen
please add more stories or more details

>>36309773
Your friends were cunts. Real friends would have mocked you mercilessly for years afterwards but still remained your friends and would have got your back when others shat all over you.

>>36303353
fkn kreggelmorf

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>>36293175
Kek, same happened to me
>bro and me decide to take pics of stuff when we were like 7 or 8
>for some reason I took a pic of his bum while he was leaning over naked
>my dad was using that camera to send pics of stuff he was selling on ebay
>he accidentally sent CP to some guy on ebay
>luckily the guy just thought it was my mom (what a fucking retarde)
>mfw getting chewed out

>>36309966
Kek, normies have no cool when it comes to Hitler.

>>36307268
Basketball field
Football rink
Hockey court

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>>36304068
watorgano

>>36304429
I felt this one in my bonemarrow
underrated post

>>36293175
I haven't read something this funny in years. Thank you

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>>36304068
I can't stop laughing and farting. What in the fuck is this some kinda /r9k/ elder scroll

>>36310537
No I was only talking to her, and she did hear and see me, only thing she saw and heard was "Im at Starbucks and I can't hear you" then me moving around autisticly for 2 minutes then ending the call.

are these the thoughts before going to sleep that make your body burn up and massive anxiety? that's why feelguy is in a blanket, right? worst feeling i've ever had, experience same events but with new perspective of how much of a fuck up I am.

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>>36293034
>be 21
>Get depressed
>Join feels thread on /b/
>Get invited into kik group
>Meet girl
>Get in LDR
>Waste a year falling in love.

It was a cringy and stupid decision. I bought into her "I'm unique and not like other girls" bs.

I'm really missing her right now. She's a retarded slut who convinced herself she has artistic talent but still feel like crawling back like a cuck from time to time. Idk how to stop this. I'm very bad at distracting myself.

>>36312227
>Not writing in Cursive
Is this a problem?

>be in grade 10
>make way to science class
>teacher not there yet. Door to classroom is locked.
>Students begin lining up outside of class
>teacher still not there.
>Girl looks at me and tells me "You have a nice backpack anon".
>Say "thanks".
>Shortly after uttering those words my bag breaks.
>The fucking strap broke.
>Cant fucking believe it.
>Awkward silence.
>Teacher shows up and we start class
>Girl never talks to me again.

Just give me the fuck my shit up special senpai

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when I was 15 I cut my arm open in the middle school bathroom. Random twat walks in, I walked out awkward hiding my arms behind my back while blood drips everywhere.

>>36308740
i can only imagine that making you insecure about your penis. i myself have a moderate case of peyronies, and refuse to have sex because of it

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>be 9
>have friend over, we're both grills
>she brings porno mags
>"hey anon, wanna try something?"
>she mounts her fucking pillow staring at giant tits
>i guess i'll do it too
>fucking our pillows
>don't understand

>tfw fag fap fest at 9

why did i do it

>>36316572
>we're both grills
kys roastie

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>>36295813
>>36298964
>>36302902
>>36308630
god this thread hurts

>>36307504
Things that never happened: The post.

original

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>>36309966
nice dubs
Same guy you replied to here
these Nazi stuff has been going since I was about 14-15 And I'm 22 now
I have 0 friends myself, but its cool. They're all sub-human normies anyway.

It is better to be far right than far wrong, anon

>>36317184
it's better to blissfully close your eyes than for them to be painfully open

>>36293034
>8 years old
>posing on the front steps of my grandparents house for family photo
>All my uncles and aunts and cousins
>mum and step dad, brothers and sisters
>both grandparents
>The family is all broken up now
>grandparents dead, house is long sold
>everyone else is dead or gone
>old polaroid photo
>only photo that exists of us all together
>my hands are covered in blue paint, I don't remember why
>whoever took the picture shouts cheese
>I flip off the camera with both hands and a stupid cheeky grin on my face
>tfw every time I see that picture I feel like a total autist

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>>36317256
>it's better to blissfully close your eyes than for them to be painfully open

The battlecry of cowards

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>>36293175
holy shit mega keks

>>36317435
It takes strength to allow yourself to be happy, but for the clever ones, nothing distracts from the wasted potential of everyone and everything. I would rather be a happy coward than a sad hero.

Don't you ever wish you were stupid enough to enjoy social media and pop culture?

>>36309921
I'm originally sorry anon. Fucking normies.

>>36317585
>Don't you ever wish you were stupid enough to enjoy social media and pop culture?

And never see the beauty in litterature, art and philosophy? Never brood over the teachings of Aristotele or Hermes? No. or me it i far better to be sad over reality than sad over not having enough likes on Facebook. Have you eber een a sad normie? The constantly complain over trivialissues that can easily be resolved by getting off oness ass, but they rather complain and never get anywhere. All they want is useless bullshit like the astest car or the biggest house and the newest phone. This is not a life, but a meaninglesss existence.

>>36295089
This is not only gay but what the fuck man

>>36317585
>>36317697
also sorry for mis-spellings, but my keyboard has Niggeritus

>>36293034
Recently happened.
>see guy, sense he's probably a robot
>i see him browsing instagram and looking at hot girls all the time during class
>i am the opposite of those hot girls but it's fine
>he's a legitimate pro at playing league apparently
>was going to ask for his number directly but get too nervous so i ask his friend to ask him
>he says, "I would never give my phone number to her"
>i laugh it off but cringe so, so hard.

RIP self esteem. He wasn't even attractive so i was convinced I wouldn't get rejected, he was a "safe" bet to me. The friend I asked told me he likes fat girls apparently (and i'm 100 lbs) but what an unnecessarily awful rejection that i will always remember

>>36316065
topkek, i could imagine your fatass wobbling around in your seat

>>36293331
>knowing girls

>>36295095
My moms ugly, fucking sucks. Some of my friends moms are god tier, feels bad. I'm not bad but damn she is ugly.

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>>36308065
This
>mfw i remember all the porn saved on my camera roll

>>36317747
you said you would rather be sad than happy, but it isn't a choice for most of us but a dice roll

>>36293034

I am Indian and hairy as fuck; Uniborw appeared during puberty and I beacme quite self concious off it; Some girls commented on it; I panicked and shaved it off with dad's razer; Shaved off too much it looked all fucked up; Everybody noticed; Depression ensues and it has been with me ever since; On the bright side, I learnt to pluck my eyebrows and people eventually forgot and changed schools and moved on :D

>>36318081
where u live and what type of indian

>>36317697
>And never see the beauty in litterature, art and philosophy? Never brood over the teachings of Aristotele or Hermes?

Oh shut the fuck up you pretentious fuck. You can enjoy pop culture and use social media and still appreciate high culture, they aren't mutually exclusive.

>>36318168
Whut type ? am Indian Indian who lives in India.

>>36318270
religioun and region

>>36318280
HINDU NUFFIN

>>36299438
You are such a massive faggot for that. But we're all spergs here so I'll excuse you.

>>36318249
I agree but they don't correlate, but that's beyond the point. Somebody who is intelligent and thus innately sadder than dumb people would rather be happy and ignorant but it takes a twisted sort of mental strength to achieve this. A paradox for this would be sacrifice for the happiness of your family so much so that you suffer in terms of your fulfillment, but consequently so do your family, however, if you could balance selfish and selfless acts you could achieve the greatest potential for happiness for you and your family because they correlate. Just an abstract thought, but I believe that if I had the chance to become a chad or roastie I would jump at it.

>>36316203
Some wisdom unfortunately gained from direct experience.

It's good to have relationships with people, but never be reliant on anyone. It's better to be self-sufficient, people are inherently unpredictable and untrustworthy. That way, you'll probably end up having better relationships with people, and not be as fucked over at the end of them. All relationships will come to an eventual end, even if neither party wants to or is at fault.

I'm sure you already figured out as much though. Reminder that it's better to learn now, and do better next time, than learn later. Don't worry about it, it won't help.

>>36318081
Have you ever used a toilet?

>>36318168
Hes a poo in the loo Pajeet you faggot

>>36318280
Muslim and I live in capital

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>>36300774
>arrive to school in a kilt
I'm already in tears, this is gonna be good

>>36318270
The type of indian that shits on the streets with his friends

>>36318880
what sect of islam?

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>elementary school
>was a squeamish kid and only ate lunches from home
>hated how other people chewed with their mouths open so I would just stare at my lunch bag and eat silently
>one day decide to get the school lunch because it's tendies
>see that it came with a bread roll
>decide to try something new and eat the bread roll
>it's stale
>disgustingly stale
>I feel like I'm going to puke but when I ask a lunch attendant to use the restroom they keep me sitting there
>tell her it's an emergency
>"lunch will be out in 10 minutes anon just sit quietly"
>finally done, because I actually got a tray I have to walk with the other kids in a line holding my tray and throw it in the trash (usually I would just put my bag back in my backpack so I didn't have to walk past the trashcans
>ask people if they would throw my tray away for me, tell them that I'm sick
>told to get lost, get called a wimp, loser, etc.
>walking in line, the kid in front of me has some really disgusting mixture of different foods on his tray
>throw up all over my tray
>panic, turn around and throw it at the young stacy standing behind me in line
>She starts screaming with my puke all over her
>I run out of the lunchroom and throw up in the hall
>get sent home
>the girl I threw the puke tray onto was well liked and popular, so I was basically treated like shit for the rest of elementary school

>>36319055
>later, middle school
>we're about to take a test in my english class but we're called out for a fire drill
>we were in a portable classroom right by the practice field so we stood out there
>when we get back to class I'm the first one in
>see that the teacher left the test answer paper right there in the open
>feeling devilish, I grab it and quickly put it on the projector so that the answers are being shown on the board
>the only other person in the room is some stacy that starts laughing, think to myself that I finally did something "alpha"
>the rest of the class quickly comes in, noone suspecting what happened
>teacher comes in and notices the test answers being projected on the whiteboard, asks the class who did it
>they all rat me out immediately, without remorse
>teacher asks me why I would do something like that
>stutter out "I-I dunno"
>get detention, treated like a piece of shit for the rest of the year
I never understood this. Chads did stuff like that all the time, they would openly fucking cheat during tests or screw with the teachers and everyone would laugh, I do something and I'm human garbage

>>36317823
Nah I'm under 140 pounds and I was standing outside.

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>>36319162
also
>senior year, statistics class
>teacher asks the class a question that nobody wants to answer, it's clear that he's not going to move on with the lesson until someone tries to answer
>think I have it figured out. I thought that people would be relieved that they wouldn't get called on to answer the question
>raise my hand, answer it
>someone on the other side of the room says "wow, he actually CAN talk"
>roaring laughter

>later on in the year, nearing graduation
>everyone in the class is sharing yearbooks and discussing senior quotes
>someone asks me, out of the blue what my senior quote is from
>I figured I picked a stealthy enough phrase from an an anime, but I didn't want to tell them so I just said "it's just a saying some of my friends told me once, haha"
>they leave me be, until one guy sitting behind me that looked it up on his phone tells everyone "nah man that quote is from an anime"
>shows everyone on his phone
>feel immense, crippling shame

>>36304068
>guy playing as fox suddenly gets all anal
>head up to bathroom hear fapping noises
>mom into succubus
>head up to bathroom hear faping noises

is this like some weird ass riddle or some shit

>be opening bank account for first time in my life
>sheltered 18 year old fag
>lady at bank asks me "so why are you getting a bank account"
>fucking froze, I'm not even usually socially retarded, I just got a total mind fart
>palms sweaty, knees weak
>arms spaghetti
>voice starts to shake as I barely make out the sentence
>"have you heard of steam? I need games"
I don't think she cared, but I still cringe

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>mfw this thread

>used to play the shit out of TES: Oblivion
>probably like 10 or 11 years old
>at pool with qt in front of me in line to go off diving board
>don't know why but thought I could impress her with some random quote from Oblivion
>something along the lines of "Have you ever wondered what something looks like without their skin on?"
>slightly confused by her reaction which you could probably imagine
>go on as normal
>mfw to this day

>have online gf for almost a year, when I was 14-15
>she lived in Louisiana or some shit
>I felt so attached to her, in reality all we did was send naked pictures to each other
>made plans to live together and get married someday, we even discussed countries we could live in
>one day I get a text from her
>it's her mom
>very long message that read something along the lines of "Anon, stop texting my daughter, I will not allow her to continue her sexual relationship with you"
>I was heartbroken
>never spoke to her again
>eventually I just forgot about the entire thing, looking back I realize that I was a complete fool for thinking I'd actually be able to meet her and spend my life with her

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>be 13 year old me
>cutest girl in school confess that she likes me
>not even remotely close to her level
>never been in this situation before
>laughts it off and runs away
>been destroying me for 5 long years but it was for the better since she was arabic and im now a proud white nationalist that wants to preserve the white race by having 5 white kids with my white wife

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>>36303353
Funniest story in this thread

>>36320248
It was probably a dare by her friends anyway.

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>>36304068
What the hell is this? I came here for keks not riddles.

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>>36304068
t. Brain damaged faggot

What the fuck did I read?

>>36310811
Hey, it's >>36310677 here. Again, you probably won't see this, but when you say this:
>Its the last rung on my ladder out of the guilt/shame pit
That is very brave of you to see it that way, and you and I both know that you must see it through - you must face these last demons.

But, no matter what happens, whether you reconnect with your old friends or you get shitfaced again, know that you no longer need them. Know that you have your own fucking life now, and that you won't let those fuckers destroy you like they did in the past. You are better, stronger than that now.

I wish you the best of luck in the reunion and your future. Godspeed.

>>36302119
>asked dad if he'd ever jizzed in his pants
I actually laughed out loud when I read that.

>>36320049
I know that feel. I'm getting in the same kind of situations pretty fucking often

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>>36309921
>talk and flirt until 5am
>happiest I've ever been
>next morning
>she still talks to me but seems out of it
>don't think too much of it
>A week of this goes by
>she gets home tomorrow
>get text at 2am
>"anon, I can't do this anymore..."
>don't hear from her for over a week
>defeated inside
>another week passes by
Fuck same man. I know how it is.

>>36295098
In some places of Europe High School is only 2 years and you start when you have 16. I'm from Spain and can confirm, we call it "Bachillerato" here.

>be me
>on the wrestling team in high school
>last tournament of the season
>semi-chad friend points to 6/10 Asian girl in stockings
>"yo anon she's got stockings she wants the d, you gotta get her digits"
>Stacy friend tells me to stop being a bitch and go ask
>say ok
>wind up standing near her, our team had a match on the mat she was working
>tell other friend what I'm trying to do
>he said do it no balls
>figure it will be painless anyways
>"h-hey could I get your number"
>she looks at me the way you look at nasty roadkill
>silence.mov
>I ask again
>"yeeeeeaaah, sure"
>hand her my phone
>she punches in an obviously fake number and keeps staring at me like human waste
>say thanks and walk away
>friends in hysterics
I wanna fucking die

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>>36317434
anon i...

thats actually pretty sad though

>16
>really pissed at this guy for rejecting me
>decide I'm going to fuck his life up
>got drunk and stole the car at like 3am
>stole eggs too
>drive 5min to his house
>see his brand new car that he is super proud parked on the street
>try cruising by slowly as I throw eggs
>miss both times
>too scared to try turning around so the drivers seat was closer
>back up
>throw like 3 more and finally hit his fucking tire
>decide that'll do and go home feeling satisfied

Also around the same time

>get drunk steal the car deep in the night again
>was really devastated over something idr
>try to steal a blanket
>stopped by old lady employee at the door
>"here take it I don't even want it!!"
>she lets me go but tells me never to come back to that store

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>>36309921
Dude I'm so sorry. That's really gotta hurt. This is probably the 1st post that has really gotten some emotion outta me.
Hurts to read it.

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>>36303297
same thing happened to me
>be 13
>just getting horny
>my weird friend starts getting closer to me
>we are playing vidya and he asks if we could maybe lick eachothers dicks to see how it feels so when a girl does it we won't be suprised
>feel hesitant but let him do it
>he sucks my dick
>feels_good_man.png
>cum after 3 licks
>"what the hell anon i licked you for like 10 seconds!"
>tfw he dies in a car crash DAYS later
>no one except the posters on this board and myself will know
>mfw

>>36317697
Alright NEET philosopher

>>36319162
>>36319293
This is why I originally hate normies

>>36318394
LMAOOOO ORGGIJANLLAY

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>>36302119
>Also thought jizz ment piss
>Sitting in Living room with my family
>Want to test out my new vocabulary
>"Be right back i have to go jizz"
I want to punch myself

>>36295020
>>36302824
I can relate to this very much.
This has happened to me multiple times with all of my immediate family and I'm pretty sure they never figured it out because I always covered up just before they came in. It was still awkward as fuck for me though.

>>36295089
You're mom is a fucking legend for keeping quiet about that for all that time and then just dropping such a massive roast on you out of nowhere like that.

>>36309689
I tryed to do Minecraft videos. Thank god i was too retarded to manage to upload them.

>>36300664
>roasties cannot handle being in the friendzone for even one second
>first time friendzoned posts extremely embarrassing private pics of person out of pure emotional tantrum
Is this why they hate nice guys so much?

>be around 12 or 13
>just discovered the word orgasmic but don't know about orgasms
>assume it just means that something is good
>christmas dinner with all the family
>cousin is impressing everyone with how smart he is
>i'll show him with what big words I know
>say loudly to all my relatives "MMmmm this turkey is ORGASMIC"
>everyone just kind of stares at me

Fuck it still hurts to think about

>>36304068
YOU FUCKING WHAT NIGGER?

>be 15
>been talking to this girl who lives near me for about 4 months
>she asks if I want to play Destiny with her
>am nervous because I didn't have any online or offline friends and she was the only one I got (still don't have any friends)
>accept
>join her party
I assumed that it would just be us two, but she decided to invite a couple of her friends. They were both males.
>stay quiet because socially awkward
>it wasn't too bad, we just did a couple of the story missions, although she pretty much only talked to her other friends
>she was using her Dad's headphones at the time
>they break
>she's freaking out in the party text chat
>She then says, "Someone just take my virginity now I'm about to die"
> I then say "Don't worry, I'll take your virginity. Brb."
>I laugh awkwardly
>The chat is silent
>Say I gotta use the bathroom
>See her text into the chat box that she'll try to forget what she just said
>Turn off Xbox and never speak to her about this again

She never invited me to play with her on Xbox after that. Fuck her. She would never text me first, and would always prefer talking to other friends than me. Glad we don't talk anymore.
Robots, seeking friendship isn't worth it. It causes unnecessary stress and anxiety. Just work on improving yourselves. Rise above the common man. Train yourself to your full potential.

>>36324034
> "See her text into the chat box that she'll try to forget what she just *heard*
FTFY

>>36324034
>15
>playing Destiny
S0mething doesn't add up here...

>>36324034
>15
>Destiny
Get off this board, underage and b&

>>36324034
Same guy here. I'm not done.
>be 14
>I'm walking to a local store to buy some snacks
>See people outside collecting money for the homeless
>I had some money and was willing to donate but I just wanted to buy my snacks first
>Getting closer to them
>Don't want to just walk by them and make them think I'm an asshole for not donating
>Get to their stand
>Turn around
>This kid around my age looks back at me
>Stare back
>I then say "I don't have any money"
>Kid says nothing
>His face doesn't even twitch
>Turn around and walk away
>Buy snacks
>Avoid his stand
>Every time I see their stand I always go around
>A month later they disappear forever
Goddamnit, I was so awkward in my teens.
I got more stories but only if you guys want to hear them.

>>36303161
this one hurts. i feel this in my bones

>>36324253
You're still in your teens fuckface
Get the fuck offa my 4chan REEEEEEE

>>36324169
>>36324207
>>36324333
I just turned 18 recently. I'm sorry for rustling your jimmies for not specifying my time of birth. I deeply apologize.