/britfeel/

First for islam

Anyone up for a piss up?

>>36269749
Get a creative hobby lad. Start writing, drawing or play an instrument and make music.

It'll do your self esteem a world of good over time.

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Nobody who earns over 35k a year is allowed to post in this thread

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Second for forced meme

Looks like the cat got the milk

Is there a kind of a guide how to be homeless?

>>36269913
https://england.shelter.org.uk/get_advice/homelessness/homeless_and_on_the_streets/how_to_survive_living_on_the_streets

>>36269893

Where are you lad?

thiswontbeoriginal

>>36269864
Why can't they distribute some wealth in my fucking direction then?

>>36269902
Why? That's stupid. I worked hard to get to where I am. I pay my taxes happily for neets to enjoy. And I give to charity.

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>>36269902
>35k

try 15k

>>36269902
Unironically going to vote for him in the next GE

>>36269938
>that's right peasants
>bask in how wonderful I am
>I hope you're grateful to be in my presence

Fuck off and take you bankers bonus with you

>>36269944
>Tfw voting lib dem just to annoy /pol/cucks

>>36269924
Thanks a lot, oroginal post.

>>36269865
SLick you suck dick priiiick pour out some. Some booze out son and loose the happening is cracking at spelling mishaps maybe gravy perhaps not slimed bloody snot but whom knew that feeling of being so interesting the sale comes an auction before code news from here or choose the other avenue and cruise because I feel like none (you)s see saw blues as a cover to surround and dampen the souls that fly around with sound just before tha snooze button is hit its just apples falling from trees, what you listening to sons?

https://youtu.be/yL7wPpH4iZE

>>36269913
Dude what's up? Gonna be homeless to soon. You won't get shelter if you're a dude with no kids and no disabilities.

What's your plan?

>>36269938
>I give to charity
Stupidest thing you could do with your money. If people flat out refused to give to charity then the state would have to step in.

Fucking hell, just checked Facebook and it turns out my work bully us gay

He literally advertises it on his into line at the top of his page

Looks quite sad and insecure in his profile pic, feel bad for him now
Might have been a selfie

>>36270002
In America giving to charity gets you tax reduction/exception so you save a fortune each year. I guess there's some similar benefit for the super rich in the UK too

>>36270002

By raising taxes. How about we lower taxes and let people give to charities they care about.

Who else here /sinkpisser/?

not oregano

>>36270015
What's your facebook Amir? Can I add you?

>>36270021
FOYank

>>36270015

You gonna do him up the bum then lad?

mates being proper downers and not up for going out. instead im stuck inside watching K-On like a fucking degenerate.

>>36269962
The Surge!

>>36270021
>I guess there's some similar benefit for the super rich in the UK too
There's a limit

And it's not deducted from your tax, just reduces your income reducing your tax

>>36269985
> Dude what's up?
No munney and no legal reason to stay here.
> What's your plan?
No plan, really, just to wait till I die or some law that will help me to be passed.
> Gonna be homeless to soon.
Wanna cooperate?

could someone redpill me on the jawas from star wars please?

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Party lad here, spend the past 20 minutes in my mates mums bedroom mking out. I'm going to make it lads But I don't have a condom, I wasn't fucking planning on this, told her I'll go get more booze but I'm tryng to find my mate to see if he has on I can use, should I just risk it? I dont want to pass up on possibly my only chance to lose my virginity. It's an anon becomes a dad at 20 kind of episode.

Pic related she posted it to her instagram, she now has photographic evidence when she accuses me of rape.

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>>36270035
He deleted it. This was his FB pic though

>>36269913
>>36269924
>>36269944
Does anyone else think homelessness is what they're destined to be? I think no matter what I'll do, I'll end up messing up and will probably end up homeless anyway.

>>36270021
I use Gift Aid so the extra money goes to the charity too.

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Word of the thread - Electric

and related words

>>36270035
I don't have an account

>>36270042
Kinda fantasising about him hate fucking me

I've been perma banned off the uk subreddit for saying "islam doesn't need the daily mail to look bad it's good enough at that itself".

Absolutely terrible left wing circlejerk.

One of the mods is a muslim.

>>36270071
I think this way about suicide.

>>36270078
>Electric brain

chinese is fucking caveman tier

>>36270079
You should tell him that mate. Give him a note that says "hate fuck me in the toilets" today.

>>36270065
Any modern woman should have johnnies on her. Defintely get something out if lad even just a blowie. Good luck anon.

>>36269903

can you translate it for the normies lad

>>36270065
How good is your pullout game

>>36270078
These don't help at all post the pinyin

>>36270086
>reddit

Therein lies the problem

>>36270113

It's just 'britfeel' in Chinese lad, pronounced 'Yinggan'

>>36270055
>legal reason to stay here
What did he mean by this?

Where are you? When are you getting kicked out?

I know why I have a mental age of 18
It's became my growth was stunted from 16+ when I went to sixth form and uni

The isolation wrecked me
Now at work I'm finally starting to develop

>>36270070
>tfw so oppresses I could only have the one haircut all my life

>>36270065
Morning after pill is probably a standard part of her breakfast, don't let the lack of condom stop you

>>36270071
I've been homeless before. Incredibly hard to get out of and you've no idea how alone you feel.

Ate another bowl of porridge. Is this stuff actually good for you or have I fallen for a meme?

>>36269864
My boss is and theres less than 65 people at my company so I guess from my small anecdotal evidence we can conduse that this is true. I wonder if it counts assets because that would make it easier for people who bought houses for cheap years ago that are worth a lot now.

>>36270002
I can agree with this I guess. Charity is an excuse for the rich to feel like they're doing something good without having to put any work in.

>>36269913
I've always wondered how I'd do if I was homeless. Although I don't think it could ever happen. My family doesn't hate me enough to refuse to take me in, and I have some people that I'm sure would let me sleep on their couch for a couple of weeks.

>>36270065
Ask her directly "are you absolutely sure that you want to have sex with me now?"

Record it and her answer

This is the only way for it to not be rape.

>>36270065

I've fucked two women, neither time with a condom, just go for it

Anyone wouldn't have the source for the mad lads farage poster would they?

>>36270144
Fuck it Im going for it. Trying to get as drunk as possible to kill my fucking nerves, heart is poudning

>>36270139
In Coventry. Going be thrown away in June. I came from some shithole, was in uni. I had a plan to make money to continue my studying but this plan failed. So either go back or stay illegally.

>>36270023
>why don't we support the popular rather than the needy

I'm all for libertarian values in regards to how people live their life but I think the state should dish money out to the needy on an as-needed basis. It's disgusting how much money goes into advertisements and marketing agencies that could be helping people.

Whats everyone drinking on this fine friday night. Got Guinness myself as usual. The four day weekend almost makes me forget I want to die.

>stepsister sends me messages for years
>don't respond
>just got another one
>she's STILL trying

How many years until they get the hint?

>>36270078
>electric brain
in my electric dreams
>tfw born too early to fall in love with and marry your computer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PE1lzqJCeJ0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVZXj53i9Js

>>36270211
I had two cans of bourbon and cola I got from Aldi earlier. Now I'm drinking Carslberg

>>36270197
>I've already committed to raping this girl
>go hard or go home I guess

Please reconsider

>>36270213
She wants it lad

>>36270211
Famous Grouse and cola, because it was on offer and cheaper than the own brand whisky

>>36270197
Go for it lad. Just enjoy the moments.

>>36270211
going to go pub with the lads and do some shots and have some vodka and cokes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bB3oTLaUczY
>Friday night and I just love complaining
>And no I haven't got anything better to do
Appropriate song.

>>36270245
She's a bit young for that, anon.

It's an anon rapes a drunk girl AND becomes a dad episode

>>36270309
Turns out the girl who quit work today finished uni 3 years ago

Wonder what she has planned?

>>36270320
If you go to prison for s rape does that mean you get off having to pay child support?

Might be worth 2bh

Should I buy a kindle?

>>36270352
Child support is retroactive, so it just means you have debt building up all the time you're in prison

>like to bite the top off an easter egg and drink milk out of it

>>36270309
My uncle's girlfriend is the sister of the lead singer of half man half biscuit

Lads the Nords are trying there own feels thread. Dont kill it but remember to colonise it when it starts to die.

Need advice lads.
My roommate of 3 years is moving 80 miles away to live with his gf of barely 2 months he met on OKC. It's his first gf since high school and they decided they were going to move in after a month of dating. Is it any of my business to tell him that's a fucking stupid idea?

>>36270370
That sounds kinda amazing

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>>36270370
>bite the top off an easter egg and drink milk out of it

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How do I get a slag gf oregimaional

>>36270334
People only work in call centers until they find something better. She's probably found something better.

>>36270402
it actually tastes just like milk, you occasionally get some little chocolate crumbs in it though
which is nice

>>36270230
>>36270256
Clearly cheap whisky and coke is a /britfeel/ favorite.

>>36270291
Even trying to ignore how out of place this post seems here who the fuck does shots in a pub?

>>36270309
I knew I recognized the name. These lads live real close to me. Pretty sure Mark Steel in Town mentions these on his episode on Birkenhead.

>>36270393
He's not going to listen lad. With women, you need to make your own mistakes to learn anything.

>>36270421
act like a normie and go clubbing, dance with every girl until one sticks - but slag gfs are likely to cheat

>>36270393
Gotta tell him gently otherwise he won't listen to you. Carefully suggest the reasons why he shouldn't do it, see if there's things he hasn't considered

>>36270372
That's pretty cool. Have you met him? What's he like in person?

>>36270451
>who the fuck does shots in a pub?
if this is a serious question my answer is 19 y/o trying to get pissed before going clubbing on the cheap

>>36270382
Net sure if I want to venture outside this thread into the rest of /r9k/ though.

Failing to motivate myself to do anything.
cba to paint, cba to play any games, really don't want to work tomorrow or for the three days in a row after that that I'm working, never heard back from the person I've been talking to, I'm desperate to spend money I don't have to the point I'm trying to find things I can fucking sell to wants or wherever.
Feeling exceptionally lonely and all I can bring myself to do is bury my head in my arms and cry

>>36270451
>who the fuck does shots in a pub

Pints are for old people. Everyone does shots and red wine now

>>36270065
>race mixing

kek not original

Has anyone noticed, is it possible to relatively safely commit suicide via train?

>>36270493
I can confirm this.

The normal thing to have at a pub is a glass of pinot noir with a shot of sambuca on the side.

>>36269898

I borrowed a keyboard from my dad and learned to play fur elise and I like to build scale models. I want to keep learning the keyboard because there's some songs I desperately want to learn.

When you're a NEET and you have no schedule and nothing to live for you basically have no motivation to change. You become an amalgamation of all your bad habits.

My PC has all the instant gratification and the reward centres of my brain have been completely flooded so now its the only thing I know.

>>36270451
>who the fuck does shots in a pub?

Spoons jagerbombs are 3 for a fiver lad, most I've ever done was 40. Got kicked out of fucking spoons after that, not my proudest moment

>>36270509
If you do it by train then you're a fucking selfish cunt for exposing everyone to your death and for fucking transport up

>>36270456
then how do i get a pseudo-slag gf who secretly is uncomfortable being one and just wants to do perverted stuff at home

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Oh, it's great being a financial advisor in Weatherfield.

>Elderly people won't DARE question your advice

*has financial trouble*

>You get to bash EVERY old woman within a one mile radius with your beautiful crowbar

*cuts to canal scene*

>>36270424
But she worked there for two years and has a degree in as field with as much legitimacy as harry potter studies

>>36270509
Suicide is pretty dangerous, life-threatening in fact. There's no safe way to do it so just stay in and listen to some comfy tunes.

>>36270524
>40 jagerbombs

alri ghost lad

>>36270493
>>36270510
My mates usually drink the house red with a shot of green chartreuse.

They always take the piss out of me for drinking a lager, but to me drinking a red wine and a shot of strong booze is fucking disgusting.

Normies just like to follow fashion I suppose.

>>36270463
I haven't met him. His sister's pretty cool though. I imagine he's like a lot of people of that generation from the North West, there are certain characteristic that people of my parent's age seem to have in common

>>36270453
>>36270461
Yeah he's smitten with her, I mean that's good for him and everything but if they break up he's gonna be homeless in a new city with no friends and no job.
I'm not gonna stop him but I think i'll feel like shit if I don't at least be the voice of concern. I don't think anyone else will have said it to him.

>>36270533
Isnt our gov selfish enough to prohibit assisted suicide?

>>36270481
Surely you'd just buy a bottle and do that at home though.

>>36270493
>>36270510
Clearly I'm an old bloke then. Always figured shots was more of a club/party thing.

>>36270542
Still better than having no degree at all lad.

>>36270545
>Suicide is pretty dangerous, life-threatening in fact
kek

>>36270509
Train is a great option for suicide. If you're going out, might as well fuck up other people's day. See >>36270533

If I finally decide to quit the game, I'm doing it at Waterloo during rush hour. Ruin everyone's fucking day, not just the people on the actual train I go under

>>36270545
I just see no problems I can encounter if I will be hit by a train.

>>36270540
>drives into canal
Thats what Len wants you to think.

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>>36270546
Would never recommend it, the look of disgust you get from the bartender when they have to go through about 10 cans of Monster

>>36270510

my favourite drink when i go down the pub is a lager with a gin & tonic and baileys chasers, i call it the Ladyboy

>>36270550
>They always take the piss out of me for drinking a lager

At my work leaving do people genuinely gave me funny looks for ordering a pint. I had to switch to Jameson and water so they'd stop asking me why I was drinking pints.

I think my suicide method will probably be train, with apologies to those whose days it fucks up. If I were allowed to just die quietly another way then I fucking would do. Not my fault options are limited.

>>36270578
you'll end up on live leak.

>>36270564
Yeah it used to be before this fucking red wine + shot craze started.

I tried to keep up with my friends one night. 4 glasses of red and 4 shots in an hour and a half. Obviously I spewed up and it was disgusting. Gives you an awful headache too.

Also my mates do this drink called a "French Bomb", which is a glass of red wine with a shot of cognac dropped in it. Fucking atrocious.

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>>36269865
Cheeky Augustine edition

Oh, it's great being black in a white neighborhood

>White boys wont DARE start a fight with you

"intimidates whites boy*

>You get to fuck EVERY white girl within a one mile radius with your beautiful black...

*cuts to interracial sex scene*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyhmlS-CMsQ

>>36270538
You need to be a chad/have a very large penis and work out at the gym, also have a good income.

I'd need several pints before even considering a shot. And then it's very much downhill from there.

>>36270604
kek

Literally had this conversation during my psych assessment

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>>36270584
Wait, are you saying Hillman was trying to break but Len pushed his foot onto the accelerator?

>>36270609
Maybe my mom will even see it and think about how she made me do it.

>>36270585
>monster

Fucking awful, that stuff is too smooth tasting for a bomb

>>36270594
In my binge drinking days mine was a shot of gin, a jagerbomb and a pint of cider. To be had in that order

>>36270623
I remember the first time I figured out I could torpedo a bottle of WKD

Served me well in uni

>>36270631
>Fucking awful
It is, but Spoons don't do redbull for some strange reason, probably to keep costs down

>>36270550
>>36270596
Is this a south thing or do I just know people who don't tell me? I haven't ordered anything other than pints for ages.

>>36270585
Jagerbomb with monster? No wonder the bartender was disgusted. I would be if I had to make jagerbombs with monster at my old job.

>>36270652
Maybe, it was in London.

>>36270652
I'm in the south lad, pretty sure the wine and shot combo isn't up north yet. Maybe in Manchester but not further.

>>36270515
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIl_BNIJcFg

You need to break the conditioning. LSD has helped me quite a bit. I'm no longer as bitter and angry as I once was and I think I've gained a lot of perspective in these last few months of tripping.

I'm not saying it made me happier but it's certainly made me calmer, more critical and most of all, more comfortable in my own skin.

It won't hurt to try, most research about psychosis from drug use these days suggest it's mostly a problem for people under 21.

>>36269865
are you sure you've got the correct word for /britfeel/.
searching google just comes up with
rashly and forcefully
by brute strength
to work tenaciously with no fear of hardship
bull-headed.which does tie in with the forcing of the meme
and a chinese to english translation says
Ying gan de guanfang yuyan shi zhongwen
The official language of ying is Chinese

I'm looking for crazy conspiracy/doomsday youtubers. Any help?

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Oh, it's great being a Home Guard captain in Walmington-on-Sea

>ARP Wardens won't DARE interrupt your evening parade

*glares at warden*

>You get to requisition EVERY church hall with your military authorisation

*cuts to bank managing scene scene*

>>36270703
>based home guard
They would have seen us alright lads

>>36270648
More they've done a deal with Monster so will only sell Monster. There's a place round here that sells Jungfrau instead of Jagermeister for the same reasons.

>>36270703
This is one of the best yet.

>>36270666
>>36270667
Hope it never makes it up here. I live in Liverpool though so I guess it's extra working class so might be unlikely.

>>36270615
I just assumed you were exaggerating, but that's actually pretty terrible

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Gonna buy this

Only 30 quid

>>36270722
>Jungfrau
Fucking awful stuff, I always thought it was the same reason as Spoons using monster, because it's cheaper since I only find it in cheap clubs but never occurred me it's a sponsor kinda deal

>>36270730
Take it that you're not from around these parts.

Is poley still a real person? He has to at least be making up his descent into debt?

>>36270729
I don't know, Liverpool has a lot of students and autistic Beatlesfags

Might happen

>>36270743
Jungfrau is only 22% so it's a pretty shit substitute for Jaegermeister.

>>36270735
Sling me 180 you cunt I'm fiending

>>36270750
The accompanying picture always intimidated my white self away from watching the video, but I'm feeling brave tonight so I went for it.

>>36270752
I'm not in debt

I have a job, NEETscum
I can afford to splash the cash twice as much as I currently am

>>36270771
That's too much unless we get high together

>>36270703
Allo Allo' one please

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Wish I could be as positive as Sexy Kev right now t.b.h

>>36270807
Oh not for drugs, I'm fiending for toys and stuff
Not sex ones

>>36270760
Please no. Saying that I know a lot of people who buy cocktails instead of pints. Haven't seen a lot of them since they've gone off to uni though so hope it hasn't tainted them.
I ain't gonna stop though I'll be chugging these Guinness's till the day I day. which is hopefully soon.

>>36270807
Poley if you buy coke and weed then you can come to my flat in Manchester City Center and get high with me and my girlfriend.

>>36270822
why so glum roy?

I'd give anything to get copies of my old msn messenger conversations.

>>36270807
You have 4 credit cards and actively look for things to spend money on. Do you not see the problem?

>>36270842
I'm sure mummy may could hook you up

>>36270817
i actually didn't watch much allo allo, might slip a cheeky father ted one in tomorrow

>>36270615
My mum has been talking about /Goodfellas/ on the phone to her friends recently and my dad has started work on a shed ffs. Coincidence?

>>36270841
Just seems to happen each night lately. Not sure why but after 10pm I just start feeling like shit.

Tar for asking all the same though.

>>36270824
oh, give my some suggestions and links then

>>36270837
Not sure if I want your girlfriend there unless she's prepared to pretend I'm good friends with her

>>36270850
I know my limits, just spend like 200-300 quid a month on recreational stuff

>>36270842
I have a few messages from an ex i can;t bring myself to delete.
Also had pictures and a sex tape from another ex that she deleted from my computer, but I had them on a USB stick as well. Unfortunately I lost it, my brother found it and fucking deleted the contents so he could use the stick for school. What I'd give to watch that video again

>>36270905
I'm not suggesting things to you so you can buy the stuff I want and then rub it in my face

>>36270905
I dunno what you mean by pretend to be good friends but she'd be friendly.

Just say a message from wednesday asking for a lift. Kinda glad I missed it desu cause I didn't have to make an excuse to not. go.

>tfw addicted to comfy doomsday Christian chat

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsMkUUAEhvY

>>36270926
>I'm not suggesting things to you so you can buy the stuff I want and then rub it in my face
Post them and see what happens

>>36270955
I want her to pretend as if we've been friends for several years, that we're very close and she is comfortable around me, like a gal pal

If she can't do that then just tell her to fuck off

New Kendrick is pretty good. Not 100% convinced about this double album shit though.

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>>36269944
Why tho tbqh

>>36270995
She'll be comfortable around you and act like a gal pal. Asking her to role play like you've been friends for several years is too insane though.

>>36269944
I probably will only because it's the closest we've had to a proper left wing candidate in awhile.

>>36270995
I'm that cunt that's been going on about 40K to you lately.
Majorly in need of another two knight warden kits. Also aside from that desperately want just under 200 in google play vouchers.

Please stop teasing me

>>36271009
Because the vast majority of people in this country would be better off with a stronger state and better workers rights, myself and, statistically, yourself included.

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>>36270852
She'd better deliver the goods, or I'll get her nudes.

>>36270926
Fuck you've reminded me that I lost all the fucking screenshots of all the msn nudes I got as well. Guess we're both just stuck with memories now.

Gonna go get another can don't do anything to entertaining while I'm gone.

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Need a brew. Too lazy to go make one

>>36270999
Reminds me of The King of Limbs a few year ago when people were convinced Radiohead were dropping a second part because the album was really short, a bit underwhelming and ended with "If you think this is over then you're wrongggggg".

Oh, the joys of being a chad on /britfeel/

>robots won't DARE start a fight with you

"intimidates robots*

>You get to fuck EVERY fembot in a one mile radius of your beautiful big...

*cuts to inter-social standing sex scene*

>>36271030
Well she can't roleplay a good gal pal without doing the friendship thing

>>36271055
How about some little LotR figurines instead or maybe a Gundam?

Google play vouchers is too vague and impersonal

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>yfw yanks desperately fail at copying /britfeel/

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We did it, sorry to the lad who put 10quid on but a sweet draw

>>36271112
Nah I get tunnel vision when I want things and even other things that are good become vastly less appealing

Looking for something classy and tasteful to wank to lads.

>>36271112
Sorry mate it's too weird.

This is why you don't have friends, you impose insane conditions that no one could ever follow.

You drove that lad earlier away by being racist, and now you're driving us away too with your mental demands.

>>36271174
Angela White "amateur" hotel scene

Oh it's great being jimmy savile in the early 80s

>kids won't DARE
no you know what, i'm not going to do it

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>>36271174

here you go lad, just the thing

>>36271207
faggot
he fucked em, as many as he could get his hands on

>>36271195
Way too much focus on the penis for my liking.

>>36271207
I admire your restraint.

>>36271234
sometimes it's better to take the high road lad

>>36271235
At least go for the bit where she's bent over on the bed and the camera is focused on her face.
I nut to that bit alone all the time

>>36271225
That is just a webm of a guy masturbating

The filename is an outright fucking lie as the webm is actually really fucking gay

Stop this

I make a grand a year, I can spend what I like
I could even buy a high end laptop

The tiny things like trading cards and vidya are nothing
Plus I get reward points etc

>>36271185
Fine, fuck your gf then

Just you and me
Obviously pretend we've been friends for a while

>>36271164
Eh at least its only 95 quid, looks cool but now I'm seeing all the ones you've shown me look kinda the same

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>the feelings of hopelessness and dread are back

My mum gave me an Easter egg today. I'm 40 years old.

It is a very nice egg though and I've already eaten half of it.

>>36271262
That's because imperial knights and titans are largely based off the same construction pattern.
Gotta look at stuff like Warhound titans and Cerastus knights to see much real variation in them

Bed time

Work makes you tired

>>36271292
Yeah, I've seen some cool alien types

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Oh it's great being a school caretaker in Soham

>Britfeelers won't DARE stop writing letters to you

*writes letter to BritNormie*

>You get to drown every sprog in a one mile radius with your beautiful avocado bath suite

*cuts to burning in forest*

>>36271122
American adaptions are always shit

>>36271329
What's Maxine Carr up to these days?

>>36271262
>a grand a year

are they paying you in peanuts and string?

soronprfbs tbqh lads

>>36271291

Are you the oldest brit lad. How did you end up here.

>>36271351
She was a bit of a babe tbqh

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>tfw no Christian milf gf to explain the N.K situation like I'm 5

>>36271329
Nice one lad.

Anyone ever think about some towns will forever be known for just one bad thing?

Soham, Hungerford, Dunblane, Lockerbie etc. Wonder how many decades will pass before people forget about them?

>>36271394
She looked like a weird, old woman despite only being 25 when all that shit went down

>>36271291
I'm 3 yrs younger and my mum's done the same, and got some creme egg twister things they aren't as good as a creme egg though

i just need to test this really quick ok?

>>36271207
Sir Jimmy was innocent.

Oh it's great being a goodfella's parody poster

>original goodfellas lad won't DARE reply to you

*copy and pastes goodfellas meme*

You get to come up funny little references to brit comedies and britfeel memes

*cut's to captcha solving scene*

>>36271376
Probably. Never see anyone else claiming to be older.

Ended up here cos I have no social skills like most of the rest of us here.

>>36271480

Shit break there pampaw. How long your parents got left you reckon?

>>36271480
Wow I feel almost young for a change (30). What year did you start on here?

>>36271282
iktf, had about 6 week of not feeling it now it's back with avengance

>>36271472
oh it's great being a goodfellas parody parody poster

>goodfella parody posters won't DARE reply to you

*makes fun of goodfella parodies*

You get to act smug and above anons having a bit of fun

*cuts to anon sitting smug at his computer waiting for his (you)'s scene*

If we're this devoid of genuine happiness and hope at this stage of our lives, how the fuck will we cope when we're old?

>>36271530
>You get to act smug and above anons having a bit of fun
this is news to me

>>36271531
shouting angrily at kids and being able to do so because youre old

>>36271530
this is all getting a bit meta

>>36271531
>implying any of us will make it past 40

>>36271531
Won't need to if I don't exist

>tfw too beta to tell parents I smoke even though I'm basically an adult
Might do when I move out so it doesn't threaten the fact I can stay here for cheap.

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>>36271472

This is one of the best so far desu

Oh it's great being a goodfella's parody poster

>original goodfellas lad won't DARE reply to you

*copy and pastes goodfellas meme*

You get to come up funny little references to brit comedies and britfeel memes

*cut's to getting no (you)s*

>>36271531
I'm on the shotgun retirement plan so thats how.

>>36271617
if you are original shipposter then you've made my day, truly you are the greatest memer these threads have seen, thank you

Well lads I had sex with the girl from singapore. I think she's passed out, she's just lying next to me. It's kind of nice desu. Do I bail? I think it'd be awkward to wake up next to her in the morning. This is all a new situation to me

>>36271496
Two of my grandparents made it into their 90s so quite a while yet, statistically.

>>36271512
I remember being on /fit/ around the time zyzz died, so that would make it 2011. I've not been a reg for any great length of time though - sometimes don't visit for months or even years at a time.

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Oh it's great being a supreme gentleman

>Chad won't DARE intimidate you

*splashes vanilla latte*

You get to shoot EVERY student within a one mile radius, with your shiny loaded...

*cut's to bodies littering Del Playa street*

Anyone seen the key to the runthole?

>>36271617
wish my GP would inject me with a lethal dose of morphine, would be a good way to go out


BASED SHIPMAN

>>36271661
>fuck a drunk girl
>leaves when she passes out
you chad already

>>36271616
they already know, you stink of it when you come home

> article on bbc news talking about artificial intelligence being racist

The absolute STATE of the western world.

>>36271602
There's an anon above saying he's 40 only a few posts above.

>>36271671
speaking of, i think i might have killed the runt catcher earlier. i snuck up on him and tied his shoe laces together. i hope he didn't fall and bang his head. it was only a prank.

>>36271661
shes dead lad, you fucked up

>>36271681
I feel bad at the idea tbqh, I'm not sure what to do. There is always the possibility of my mates parents coming home early and finding us in their bed. The alcohol is starting to get out of my system and I'm starting to feel regretful but it was a very nice experience

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gonna be completely honest with you lads i feel sexy af in my new outfit ngl

>>36271661
Nice one lad. No idea what advice to give because dont know shit desu

>>36271661
no, stay with her and look after her.

>>36271696
He's obviously a ghost.

>>36271661
put her in the recovery position, leave a glass of water next to her, and leave.

Why does duolingo have no mandarin but has meme languages like esperanto and Irish?

Hoping the local record store stocks the new Gorillaz when it comes out can't be arsed waiting for a delivery.

>>36271690
Maybe but I always used to say I liked to hang out outside with the smokers even when I didn't years ago. As long as they don't bring it up it has the same effect though.

>>36271716
looks a bit gay tbqh with you lad

>>36271732
Mandarin is harder so it would be more work for them.

>>36271740
they are your parents, you came out of your mother, they arent retards anon

>>36271748
thats a compliment teebeehaych

i am a faggot

>>36271716
Is this actually originally you?

>>36271762
I know. I'm just gonna ignore it so it avoids any awkward situation which is basically all of my life.

>>36271768
If you're going to compliment me then yes, if you're going to insult me then no

>>36271716
>these are the people that type alongside us in these threads

fucking hell lads i think im going for good this time

>1/2 odds on YES result in turkish referendum.

Isn't this just free money?

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>>36271668
Oh it's great being a supreme gentleman

>REAAAAL HUMAN BEAANNNNN

*AND A REALLL HERO hero*

REAL HUMAN BEAAAAAANNN

*AND A REAL HERO hero hero*

>>36271789
Nice picture then senpai. Where did you get the outfit?

>>36271637

You're more than welcome anon, if I put a smile on a fellow robots face then I'm glad.

/r9k/ is a truly magical place, some anon even paypal'd me 20 bong once when I was a poorfag and couldn't afford fuel to get to work or food for a couple of days

https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/18751424/

>>36271695
Remember this?
https://www.cnet.com/uk/news/google-apologizes-for-algorithm-mistakenly-calling-black-people-gorillas/
Keks were had.

>>36271805
sometimes i think this website isnt good for me at all

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>>36271816
/r9k/ is a truly magical place
absolutely

>tfw you were one of the posters who talked Ebinanon out of falling for the jew circumcision meme
Feels good when you save a lad

Ive had 4 joints today lads and im thinking about another, should ?

I wonder if the Chinese are worrying they don't have enough female politicians / they're not diverse enough / their AI is racist while they match ever closer to surpassing the west.

>>36271805
>implying this wasn't obvious.
Gay posting is pretty rampant here even if its not my jam it's impossible to miss.

>>36271808
>tfw I love to drive around at night blasting this song in my 2001 Fiat Punto with shitty speakers
When my watch used to work I even put it on the steering wheel like Goose.

Managed a day without nicotine lads, it's starting to get quite uncomfortable now though.

>>36271849
There's a lot of good around here. Len stopped me from gambling my life savings as I was just about to make the deposit.

>>36271695

The guardian article is even worse.

They blame unconscious bias in humans for the algorithm being "biased"

Except that a computer algorithm is inherently 100% unbiased.

A COMPUTER detected the objective biological difference between men & womens interests, language and career path.

But no. Computer is wrong :^)

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Goodfellas is going to challenge Sexy Kev at some shitty leisure centre in Halifax.

>#THOSEGOODFELLAS

I feel bad for those guys. They took so long to release their show, tey were beaten to the punch by the Dear White People crew

>>36271909

How much were you going to deposit?

>>36271900
the chinese are ethnically pure so they dont have this problem in their country, we have failed as a people and a nation letting in different ethnic groups into our country and it destroy us

>>36271940
but its not a ethnicity problem, its a gender problem

>>36271695
Yeah, just read that and it's plain stupid. The reporter is just a silly woman, the algorithms don't even understand the concept of racism and she's trying to accuse it of being racist

>>36271925
But dear white people is against everything Goodfellas does

>>36271952
>but its not a ethnicity problem
>its an ethnomasochist episode

>>36271966
Explain

They're both racist shows where black people are treated as objectively superior to whites

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>>36271923
A while ago this wrestler asked me where the pisser was. Appears to be vaguely famous cause I saw him in some video with a funny entrance a month of so earlier.

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>>36271900

The Chinese state literally pays shills to post in Yingga...Britfeel

>>36271977
If you watch the trailer of Dear White People it's satirising the whole 'all whiteys are racist' thing

>>36271989
>implying I want that shit in my Youtube recommendations

The title was all I needed, thank you

>>36271834
Not sure what places is more corrupting, here or /pol/

>>36271989
No it's not. This is lefty damage control

i hate this chinese forced meme. genuinely the worst meme. its not funny at all.

>>36270221
>and marry your computer
>tfw your waifu takes more and more dongles as the years pass

it's hard being an Apple user

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>>36271849
I might have died from an infected penis after a botched operation if it wasn't for you

>>36271989
You sure it's not that niggers are too dumb to write properly so it ends up looking like satire.

Every pro china post I make I get 1 renminbi hoping to save enough for a Chinese gf

>>36272014

"Hello"
>"Forced meme!"
"What do you mean?"
>"You're trying to force the 'hello' meme
What is the 'hello meme'?
>When you meet someone, you start the conversation with 'hello'
>It's a shitty forced meme

>>36272008
i only really post of brit feel, and it isnt very corruption here at all compared to pol. its more degenerate here. the entirety of r9k might be as bad as pol though.

>>36272019
or worse had a mutilated numb dried up old (((cutdick)))

Hope the stretching etc is going well.

>>36272046
>saying hello
>not saying 'aright?
fucking murifats

>>36272046
not really sure what you're trying to imply lad.

Well lads, I'm leaving her and going home. I got her a glass of water and asked my mate if she could sleep at his and he said yeah. Had to put up with the whole chad comradery thing from him now that I'm no longer a virgin which was a bit cringy. According to him I'm a man now, but I feel the same. It's time to recluse back into my autismo shell of a life I think

>>36272046
*glomp* whats this 0w0 a forced meme??

>>36271928
That day, I lost 1000 pounds, bringing my total losses to over 4000 pounds

I was going to go to the high roller table and put another 4000 on one roulette spin and invite britfeel along for the ride, but he slapped some sense into me.

>>36272073
You realised that losing your virginity doesn't change anything. Welcome to the club

>>36271979
Grado? More like Gaydo

>>36271881
might as well, i'll partake and roll myself 1 as well, don't worry i've got my own weed senpai
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpP1oYNsXwI

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1FmRGGGBa7T

>>36272073
nice lad.

>>36272094
yeah, losing your virginity wont save your problems but it will boost your confidence and make you feel less insecure.

>>36272117
Your accent is pathetic

>>36272117
the fuck did you just say about my mum you little cunt?

lads why does it feel everyone fucking hates us? I used to think it was a meme, but 4chan, reddit (fuck off) has really opened my eyes to how they feel about us.

>>36272117
the fuck is this Dynasty Warriors Ching Chong shit

>>36272136

What did I say then?

Anyway, my written is much better than spoken.

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>All my life
>I'm in the stakin' bar
>I got debts, I'm a debaser

>>36272150
>everyone fucking hates us?
Who is us?

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>>36272077
Oh it's great being t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m

>People wont DARE understand your randomness

*Watches Invader Zim with my girlfriend (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it)*

You get to be RanDOM in EVERY thread on /b/ within a one mile radius !!!!!

*Cut to holding up spork scene*

>>36272123
Losing your virginity removes a massive weight from your shoulders but your shoulders still hurt forever after

HAHAHA
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-39533308

>>36272172
England, the English, mainly. Britain as a whole, to a lesser extent.

>>36272155
How am I supposed to know? I don't speak chink

>>36272150
you mean why do people hate r9k?

well its probably because the culture is degenerate. people casually tell others to kill themselves, they hate anyone that is somewhat normal, racist, self defeatist, and bitter

>>36272190
computers are pretty smart

>>36272192
Just ingrained jealously mate. We're more comfortable being hated anyway.

>>36272054
theres some alright progress but it is slow. I don't really have to worry about using it ever anyway so the only negatives is it can hurt during the night/morning if I get an erection. wanking and stuff is totally fine though

>>36272149
>the fuck did you just say about my mum you little cunt?

Didn't say anything about her m8

>>36272190
Who gives a shit though. Even as a dirty commie theres 1000s of more important things to care about.

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>tfw at my parents and about to raid their cheese and biccies and wine

>>36272150
probably has something to do with being at war with every country worth noting then setting the standard for civilisation with the industrial revolution

>>36272190
its not racism, its subconscious because pretty much all the people responsible for all that are white

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Study Mandarin now.

>>36272278
no, it would be pointless. i never want to live in china, it is a shit hole.

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>>36271662

All gonna make it brah

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-aqkLKK8biM

>>36272117
>>36272117
I dont speak chink, i managed to google what a few words sounded like

Daojiao = a town in Guangdong
Wushan another place in Guangdong
yinghang = bank
laoshi = teacher

desu mate ive no fucking clue

>>36272278
No! How about you study English, you commie fuckers.

>girl I know's brother died 2 days ago
>posts about it yesterday
>less than a day later she's sharing buzzfeed nutella recipe videos

what the fuck is wrong with women

>>36272320
this. all this commie shit is gonna split up brit feel. do you lads want a civil war or something

>>36272316

I said

"Da jai hao, Yinggan, wo shi ni men de laoshi"

"Hello, Britfeel, I am your teacher"

You got teacher right lad

>>36272320
>>36272342
>calling current China commie
Thats just uneducated lads.

>>36272278
but I am

do you watch any china focused youtubers anon?

Mandarin is probably the best britfeel meme of 2017

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>>36272174
Stop the madness

What's the easiest language to learn? might give it a go on youtube.

>>36272348
>Yinggan
why do you translate britfeel to this
1. yinggan
rashly and forcefully
by brute strengtht
to work tenaciously with no fear of hardship
bull-headed

>>36272370

No, but I am subscribed to this guy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hklTSxxGIME

>>36272390
american english

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>>36272278
I don't study forced memes. Sorry

>>36272385
based Grahame Chapman, ive retired all my efforts of goodfellas parody posting

>>36272369
the disparity they have with the wealth in their country, the abuses against human life, and the environmental harms. may not be commie but its shit hole. the amount of homeless people you see on the street in china. fuck that.

>>36272393

Ying = British/English
Gan = Feel

>Have started a discussion about China
>4 Yuan has been deposited into my account.

> butaihao

All the mandarin you need lads

>>36272411
is that the childrens show paki?

>>36272429
>but its shit hole.
I ain't gonna argue that. Just saying that for decades communism has been basically none existent over there. Mao was just a completely incompetent leader.

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Bought a Chinese watch

>>36272464
The one Charlie Brooker slides into her black mirror?
The very same.

>>36272466
its just banter though init. like calling the germanis nazis.

i dont come here to see chinese shit. this is meant to be brit feel, not china feel.

>>36272498
Fair enough mate. You can never be sure over here though.