I feel too much.
The deepest part of someone, we go there. The most vulnerable place, I always bring people there. I small talk and am just normie enough to force you to let me in. I don't know why I do it. I want to fix you. I know I'm broken too. But you don't need fixing right? You're an adult. You're past whatever those things are.
Then you meet me. We are children again. We go through it all. I don't know what exactly is going on but I know you're vulnerable. And for some reason I'm going to learn all the mannerisms you show during that time you are, and synthesize them into normalcy.
I bring people to that point.. every time. I'm not kidding.. it's the only way I interact. But I just want to fix things. And I don't mess up, I don't break identity. The simple solution is throw it back on myself.
Is anyone else like this. As a child I was the most autistic. In college I became chad. I've been everything in between. It's like I am everyone. That is why I am so alone.
Every. Damn. Time..
Believe it or not. I actually don't mess up. Least not in the way that the vulnerability is ever concluded as theirs. It always concludes as mine.
This has been my state of being for 5 years now. I don't plan to ever leave.
Fucking weird..
>>36252204
You sound like me. An autist growing up to become a Chad later in life. As for the emotional part, you're likely evading yourself through other people, albeit in a generous manner. Did it ever occur to you that you can open up how you feel to others and let them take you on a journey to fix yourself?
I, on the other hand, merely keep enough distance from women to maintain a semi-superficial relation so that detachment isn't painful, because feelings are. Open up to someone OP, you'll share the weight of loneliness with someone else.
>>36252601
Could be, I am broken too. It seems as if I fall in love with everyone I meet. I can't justifiably leave that state of being.. but I don't want to. I'm just a little tired is all.
And that's actually it, though you are right I don't have anyone right now. But I don't think I want anyone. I have dated too much for me right now. It is very complex. I am simply blogging. I am open to us discovering it, but beware, we will not.
>>36252204
>autist realizing he has empathy
lol
>>36252934
Perfectly summarizes me, desu :)
Now I have made this thread, so I am responsible for it. But I will ignore it now.