Psychological Issues #30

>>36244000

We're off to a good start. To celebrate the thirtieth thread, I suppose, we get trips. Forgot my trip for the occasion.

Technically, this is thread 31 because I realised I made #26 happen twice in a row.

I'll be posting the archives for this thread. Took me a bunch of time today, because I didn't realise you could look up thread subjects right away. Desuarchive is great, it saves images and spoilered text. Great resource for anyone who wants to read on other anon's problems.

Again with this shit.

Nick. You are such a faggot.

Just kill youself.

>>36244120
Dude
Wow
Not cool
If you don't like Nick's threads, don't bump them

>>36244120

Well, hello there. I'll assume this isn't your first time here and that something makes you angry, but probably not the mere fact that I'm doing this thread.

Why don't you tell me?

Another day, another thread. Welcome back, Nick. Be sure to always be original.

>>36244251

About that... Why does it even exist? It's the stupidest thing, and it actually stresses me out: the idea that some day, we won't be able to write here anymore (even if in theory it'll be in thousands of years or something, I don't care, I don't like limits).

It needs to be removed, though. It forces anons to shit up their own posts. Conversation shouldn't be put in a straitjacket like that. To avoid getting reported and banned again, I'll be quoting John Donne poetry whenever I'm not original enough. I sure hope that doesn't count as "blox" posting.

Here are the archives:

1 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/35498409/
2 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/35521806/
3 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/35541735/
4 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/35547290/
5 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/35567230/
6 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/35668421/
7 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/35689780/
8 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/35716442/
9 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/35740738/
10 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/35763440/
11 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/35777773/
12 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/35803625/
13 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/35835561/
14 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/35855848/
15 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/35876435/
16 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/35882457/
17 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/35906378/
18 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/35926221/
19 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/35945942/
20 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/35971403/
21 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/35994443/
22 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36019645/
23 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36040635/
24 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36089774/
25 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36093480/
26 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36108068/
26 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36132647/
27 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36158561/
28 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36183284/
29 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36210653/

>>36244290
I almost never even have to consider whether my posts are original or not, so it doesn't bother me much.

>>36244000
First time in this thread.

But what I want help with is my constant overthinking that turns into worst case scenario thoughts which spiral into a torturous spiral of dark thoughts.

I wish I could explain it better. I can't seem to make myself stop from it.

A little backstory: have battled with severe depression for 3-4 years, but finally managed to crawl out of it. I'm 22 now.

>>36244331

I have to, whenever I answer very shortly.

>>36244332

Very classic symptoms for C-PTSD. Catastrophism, you imagine things to their worst conclusions. You can't stop doing it because you learned to do this a long time ago and it doesn't just stop by itself.

Depression is only a symptom but stems from the same cause.

I'm going to assume your childhood wasn't ideal. Describe your parents.

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RESOURCES

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201602/10-signs-narcissistic-parent

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/personality-disorders/borderline-personality-disorder.htm

http://www.blueknot.org.au/Resources/General-Information/Types-of-child-abuse

http://www.synergiacounselling.com/the-complex-post-traumatic-stress-disorder-cptsd-test/

http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv

The last one is a test I wanted to put in the OP but forgot. My bad. Do the test, post a screenie of your results, expect surprises, as this test somehow delivers unusual results sometimes.

Here's mine.

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>>36244290
>the idea that some day, we won't be able to write here anymore (even if in theory it'll be in thousands of years or something, I don't care, I don't like limits).
I think it doesnt work like that. posts are only temporarily "saved", after a while they reset and you can post the same thing again. not sure what the actual time limit is tho.

anyways hello again. havent drawn in three days. ive also been having prepsychotic episode effects again. lack of sleep (no more than four hours a night), ideas about being in a dream, slight paranoia etc. ive been taking lexotan to try and make me sleep more but it hasnt worked so far

>>36244468
Cool drawing. Reminds me of cubism

Oh good, I was starting to think this thread wouldn't be here today

>>36244468
>I think it doesnt work like that. posts are only temporarily "saved", after a while they reset and you can post the same thing again. not sure what the actual time limit is tho.

If true, that makes it all OK, but I'm not sure it's true, though. The only thing that resets, to my knowledge, is your punishment in seconds. It doubles down after some time.

I was at 16 seconds recently, now just 8. Glad to see you in the thread; as always, post as much art as you can!

Schizophrenic girl here again to not take my medication and annoy you guys because I swear I don't need it.

Hi everyone and Nick.

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>>36244550

I opened it as soon as I could. Pic very related.

>>36244553
What do you want to get out of this thread?

Hey idk if you remember me but I've been doing really good the last couple days.

>>36244553

I thought of you as a boy since the beginning.

What effects do you get when you don't take your medication?

Do you see a psychiatrist regularly (every month or more) or are you just on your own?

>>36244562
Damn that's cruel, do the mods have it out for you or something?

>>36244587

If you remind me of your issues, I will remember, but with just your name, I confess I don't. Nevertheless, glad you're doing good! But do remind me, I'm curious.

>>36244608
Probably just anons obsessively reporting because muh tripfags

Afternoon, been a long day waiting for thread. Dang ban. Hope all is well.

>>36244608

I suspect anons who dislike the thread made an effort to report me every time I made a "blox". I received at least two warning before the ban, but misunderstood what a blox was. I thought it was just repeating letters in a row, not the fact of writing nonsense to be original, since everyone does that here.

I suppose I'll have to be efficiently original now. No more blox for me.

Facet, Facet, Facet.

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>>36244553
I'm sure others will disagree, but my brother avoids taking meds unless it's that or hospital. He says they scramble his brains and they're just to make patients easier to control, rather than providing any benefit. The anti-psychiatry movement is pretty big, so it's an option. How good of an idea largely comes down to the individual. I'm certain my brother wouldn't be nearly as successful if he was on them.

Here's my results to the test. Welcome back. Hi to meta and the others too.

>>36244684
You'll slip up sooner or later, then you'll get banned again

>>36244689
>>36244697
Oh, shit it actually fucking worked...

>>36244697
Hi Facet, good to see you.

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>>36244551
>http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv
im pretty much the posts archive gets deleted periodically. ive posted the exact same phrase like a month apart

>>36244516
thanks, it was partly inspired by cubism

>>36244684
Well in any case, I'd like to talk. I had a bad day today

>>36244642
Guy who went to doctor that said idk sorry dudeidk, basically just feel super disassociate-y and all the fun stuff that comes with that.

>>36244689
>>36244697

Nice.

Welcome, Facet.

And everyone else I haven't welcomed by name!

This thread feels like a club now. I like it.

As to your results, Facet, your highest ones are my lowest. That's interesting.

Paranoid and narcissism, these are my lowest.

I wonder, if your other ones did the test, would they each get their own results?

Try doing the test again but in the name of another one. The one that's most different from you. Just to see.

>>36244582
Someone to relate to.

>>36244591
I feel more effects when I take it than when I don't (olanzapine). It makes you tired and sucks the life out of you.

>>36244697
I agree but my family feels I need medication around if it goes out of control. I don't mind that if they feel safer. I talk to them often about how antipsychotics shrink your brain and stop dopamine from reaching it.

I have a few problems with some of the questions in these quizzes such as

>do you find it difficult to trust others
>do you think your family/friends are doing things behind your back

This totally depends on the environment. When I was growing up I lived in a poor as fuck area, full of thieves and scumbags, couldn't trust anyone.

Now in middle class suburbia everyone is nice and there's little be afraid of.

Now how is this taken into in these tests?

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>>36244750
You too, nobody. Good day so far?

>>36244747
You called. We came.

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>>36244736
>You'll slip up sooner or later, then you'll get banned again

>mfw getting threatened

I just won't slip up. Think about it: if I make an unoriginal post, it will tell me; at this point, I know to post some John Donne and not a blox.

You wouldn't report some Donne, would you?
-------------
The Bait

Come live with me, and be my love,
And we will some new pleasures prove
Of golden sands, and crystal brooks,
With silken lines, and silver hooks.

There will the river whispering run
Warm'd by thy eyes, more than the sun;
And there the 'enamour'd fish will stay,
Begging themselves they may betray.

When thou wilt swim in that live bath,
Each fish, which every channel hath,
Will amorously to thee swim,
Gladder to catch thee, than thou him.

If thou, to be so seen, be'st loth,
By sun or moon, thou dark'nest both,
And if myself have leave to see,
I need not their light having thee.

Let others freeze with angling reeds,
And cut their legs with shells and weeds,
Or treacherously poor fish beset,
With strangling snare, or windowy net.

Let coarse bold hands from slimy nest
The bedded fish in banks out-wrest;
Or curious traitors, sleeve-silk flies,
Bewitch poor fishes' wand'ring eyes.

For thee, thou need'st no such deceit,
For thou thyself art thine own bait:
That fish, that is not catch'd thereby,
Alas, is wiser far than I.

>>36244800
Having it as a worst-case scenario measure is likely appropriate. Better to have it and not need it, right?

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>>36244467
Posting mine. It's not surprising or interesting. These are my results after not having relapsed into an episode for 4 months.

>>36244756
>im pretty much the posts archive gets deleted periodically.

That, yes. I kept all the links to previous threads and could see them dying day by day.

You have now removed a mental obstacle for me. Thank you.

>>36244759
>Well in any case, I'd like to talk. I had a bad day today

Go right ahead. Sorry to hear that, but I'm sure it'll get better. Speak!

>>36244777

Trips. You need to seek a psychiatrist who knows his job. I've heard some medication works with this condition, depending on how bad it is.

>>36244825
That's true Facet, a positive way of looking at it. In a way, it feels demeaning to need to take pills with you when you visit relatives, etc. It's difficult to hear people constantly ask if you have them with you just so they can feel secure.

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Well fuck me something must be wrong with my brain, didn't expect so many high/very high.

I thought I was just a bullshitter when I lie to people, tell them I have cancer and fuck a girl a week, but it seems to be something deeper.

>>36244391
My mom is in her core someone who believe she's basically worthless. The kind of person who bends over backwards for another person she cares about. Unbelievably kind.

Dad grew up with nothing. Poor family, harsh restrictions on letting out emotions, not allowed to raise voice. He has always prioritized himself above all except my older sister. Selfish, hard to control his temper, burst of pure rage which leads to abusive behaviors.

We're Swedish, if it helps somewhat.

>>36244802
>Now how is this taken into in these tests?

You're right, I thought the same. The way I do is I assume the test means normal people. If your family DOES shit behind your back, you adapt for the question.

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>>36244811
hellraiser, nice. same day different day.

>>36244467
regarding this quiz - wew

>>36244811

I marathoned the Hellraiser movies many years ago. I goes down really fast after the third one. Some aren't even Hellraiser movies, it's pretty insane.

>>36244939
to add, no, my childhood was not ideal.

>>36244981
>that quiz
Are you okay?

>>36244891
He seemedd like a decent guy but yeah felt like he was just there to hand out depression and anxiety meds. Don't really have any other options though cause no money or healthcare.

>>36244857

Damn... You sound like a heck of a normal person compared to me.

I'm mindblown by your results.

>>36244904

What do you DO when you get an episode?

>>36244873
Well, on the bright side, it looks like I'll be moving in with my boyfriend a lot sooner than I thought, but it's because I just I like I thought I might, I pretty much got fired today. Basically what happened was I started having another panic attack at work, since i have to walk home in the dark after work, and I left my knife at home, which I normally always carry when I'm alone after something happened to me a few years ago. So I start freaking out and my manager asks me what's wrong, I explain, but won't calm down, and she basically goes on a huge rant at me at how I'm always doing this, and that it's showing in my work, and that if I won't act like a normal human being, then I'm not fit to for the job. After a while she calmed down and let me use her phone to call my bf again to pick up after I started crying (I know), but she said she was serious about what she said, so now I'm out of a job and don't have a replacement

>>36244906
>I thought I was just a bullshitter when I lie to people, tell them I have cancer and fuck a girl a week, but it seems to be something deeper.

A bit narcy to tell such lies for no other reason than fooling people and/or getting compassion/admiration.

Any obvious links to your past?

>>36245012
i don't think so euuk

>>36244939
>My mom is in her core someone who believe she's basically worthless. The kind of person who bends over backwards for another person she cares about. Unbelievably kind.

A people-pleaser, probably one or two of her own parents were narcs.

>Dad grew up with nothing. Poor family, harsh restrictions on letting out emotions, not allowed to raise voice. He has always prioritized himself above all except my older sister. Selfish, hard to control his temper, burst of pure rage which leads to abusive behaviors.

Sounds narcy as well. Give me an example of what triggered the dad rage.

Jag so mycket, or something. And... Jag slickar dig? Is that it? My Swedish is very rusty.

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Jumping on the bandwagon... I frequently either don't know if I'm answering truthfully or think the answer is more complicated than a simple yes or no.

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Took quiz for fun.
Woops.

>>36244981

Holy shit, Nob, you're the winner!

Nob sounds better as a name. "Nobody" keeps being confusing to use. I'll call you Nob from now on.

>>36245126

I was a loner in school, spent pretty much my teen years alone on the internet. No weird behavior though.

Then out of the blue I start doing shit like lying and acting like a total weirdo, doing the kind of stuff you see in spaghetti greentext stories.

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>>36244988
I'm a big fan of Barker. He heavily inspired my own writing. For those who are unaware though, his writing rather than adaptations thereof are routinely pretty homo as well as sadomasochistic.

>>36244981
I can't be the only one who would absolutely have to solve the Lament Configuration, right? Not saying I wouldn't regret it for millenia afterward, but I'd still have to do it.

>>36244904
Iktf. When I told my Dad I was struggling with the DID stuff he just said:
>If you're serious just get committed then.
Then he just walked off. Cool guy.

Attached is a different quiz image, the link to which is below for those who're interested. Not to brag, but as you can see I'm pretty spooky.

>>36244993

Some reading for you:


https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201602/10-signs-narcissistic-parent

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/personality-disorders/borderline-personality-disorder.htm

http://www.blueknot.org.au/Resources/General-Information/Types-of-child-abuse

http://www.synergiacounselling.com/the-complex-post-traumatic-stress-disorder-cptsd-test/

>>36245031

In that case, try findind more efficient medication.

>>36245173
Slickar is not the... appropriate wordage.

My mom's dad is most likely the narcissist.

>what triggers the dad rage
Missteps in his eyes. Being confronted with something he knows he is bad at/can't do properly. Acknowledging his shortcomings basically.

>>36245115

Your boss needs to be educated on a few things. It's not your fault, for fuck's sake.

>after something happened to me a few years ago.

Is this when your issues started?

Also, did she ACTUALLY fire you?

I'd recommend seeing someone who can certifiy your PTSD issues, just to protect you. I doubt they can fire you given your condition. It'd be abusive.

>>36245263
I don't take any. I'm pretty good at being normal so I didn't qualify as having anything diagnosable.

>>36245321
I would say it started before what happened, but it definitely worsened it, and as far as I can tell, she basically meant "if you can't fix it don't come back", and right now fixing it isn't really working

>>36245210
what did i win ? nob , don't reli like the sound of it but i guess its ok if its you nick

>>36245229
i would solve. never regret it.

>the link is below,
did i miss it

>>36245225
>I was a loner in school, spent pretty much my teen years alone on the internet. No weird behavior though.

Being a loner is "weird" enough, not that being weird is a problem, but it's not beneficial to you. I speak from experience.

>Then out of the blue I start doing shit like lying and acting like a total weirdo, doing the kind of stuff you see in spaghetti greentext stories.

I'll want examples of this. As is the tradition, anons who don't pick a name for their first post get to be baptised by me. You are now Spaghetti.

how long does the lexapro take to work? it's been 3 weeks and i still don't see much difference in my mood

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>>36245426
The lack of a link was all part of my devilish scheme
http://www.celebritytypes.com/dark-triad/test.php
I'm expecting a good score out of you based on your other results nobody

>>36245229
>I'm a big fan of Barker.

I have two books by him but never read them. Blood Books and the novella that Hellraiser is based on.

>pretty homo

I knew he was but wasn't aware it was that prominent in his writings. I didn't know you wrote, either. Not surprised. Might want to read some in future.

>I can't be the only one who would absolutely have to solve the Lament Configuration, right?

I can actually solve a Rubik's Cube. That's enough for me.

>Then he just walked off. Cool guy.

A straight dick.

>dark triad
>not tetrad

Get on my level. They always forget sadism.

Where's the link? I want to show what a good boy I am.

>>36245303
>Slickar is not the... appropriate wordage.

It means to lick, in my memory.

As to your dad, yes, narc. My father is the same and rages for similar reasons. But don't automatically assume your mother isn't, like I did. She was too, but more covert.

>>36245365

Do this: explain to her. Tell her you've been assaulted (or whatever happened) and you've kept some mental scars ever since, which you're working on, but it doesn't go away quickly.

She may react more positiely than you know; if not, the law may still be on your side. Look it up, see what you're entitled to.

>>36245489
Forgetting my trip was also part of this scheme

>>36245512
Both of those are decent, though I believe there are several Books of Blood?

If I can find something non-shit to show you, maybe.

The test is:
http://www.celebritytypes.com/dark-triad/test.php

Just for you though, I'll see if I can find a tetrad test.

>>36245426
>what did i win ? nob , don't reli like the sound of it but i guess its ok if its you nick

I kind of wish you had a name that wasn't so negative. Nob isn't all that positive, since it means dick in British English, but a cock is better than a nobody. But I ain't forcing you. It's your name.

>>36245085
I would say I am normal most of the time aside from a couple stays in mental wards. I was pretty much a normie before the diagnosis besides being a homebody with a shitty past who browses /r9k/.

That all went down the drain instantly. I just started having disorganized thoughts right after my 25th birthday. I was involuntarily committed about 5 weeks later. I have been diagnosed for about a year and maybe it hasn't progressed far enough yet.

>>36245452

For antidepressants, always wait 8 weeks, by which time you'll probably feel better on your own anyway.

What do you take it for? And don't tell me just depression, tell me how that depression came about.

>>36244784
>This thread feels like a club now.
Very true. I'm taking off for this reason, at least for now.
Bye Facet and Nick, good luck with everything.

>>36245444

Sorry I had taken my name off - my previous post was about lying, see >>36244906

Some more changes:

I used to be quiet (like I said, loner) but now I am very outgoing but in an awkward way. I make people feel uncomfortably by telling inappropriate stories, I make dumb jokes, and tell lies.

I am very dogmatic and opinionated about certain topics. If you get into an argument with me about politics you will not win.

Also I drink and take drugs like a total degenerate.

Obviously I'm telling you this because I have realized it's not right and I'm trying to change.

>>36245577
>Just for you though, I'll see if I can find a tetrad test.

Making me feel special is the way to my heart.

>>36245594

I'd be very sad if you no longer came to the thread.

Are you OK?

>>36245555
I'm not really sure I could bring myself to tell her what happened right after she tried to fire me, it feels like I'm using it to make her feel sorry for me, and she does have point, me panicking on the job and ruining things is my fault alone

Guy from yesterday. Heres my response.

>>36216195
I don't remember well, random things here and there. My mother was never around since she worked. When she was, it was just to work with me on school work, which I resented her for.
I was scared of my father. I don't think he ever hit me, but he was always angry, and would always complain about taking us (me and my sister) anywhere. My parent oversll were pretty hands off, I never even learned to ride a bike or thigs like that. We live in the middle on nowhere, so I rarely was with "friends". I only sort of had friends anyways, I always felt disconnected from people around me.
My relationship with my sister is also non existent. We played when we were younger sometimes, but we grew apart.

My parents have mellowed out a bit with age. My mother still works alot. However, there is no way I could have a real relationship with them, that is forever gone.

>>36245621

Dubious Dude was a good name, if you'd rather be that, fine by me. Dropping a name happens.

If I were you, I'd look up schizoid and schizotypal. Do that.

>>36245685

Law-wise, you may have to inform her before you can have it work for you. Give her a chance to be a decent human being.

It's not your fault, Ethan. If somebody gets attacked with an axe and has a bleeding wound because of it, it's not their fault. You're doing your best and suffering because of it, and others can't see the wound. Tell her. If she wants to fire you, at least have her do so knowing what's up.

>>36245594
What's up meta?

>>36245103
It's usually kinda late to reverse it by the time I realize how far it is.

Things I try to do
>try to sleep more
>consume electrolytes
>eat food
>shower

What I actually do
first week
>at first, run around a lot feeling energized
>laugh at an apple on a tree
>cry randomly
>sleep 30 minutes a day and lie there attempting to sleep
>write notes to myself, such as thoughts
second week
>call 911 often and ask them to do blood tests
>swallow a bottle of potassium pills while panicking
>lose my temper because no one will take me to the hospital
>throw objects during tantrum
>scream and kick things out of frustration because the episode is reaching its full swing
>call people to try to remain calm
third week, i am usually committed at this point
>sleep 12-16 hours a day after taking medication
>overeat
>wash off two weeks of grime
>pace constantly while awake because it makes you feel a little more lucid
>tolerate hallucinations (not responding to them)
>ignore nurses and other patients because their voices sound garbled
>sit in bed holding myself and hoping it will be over when i wake up

Then it sort of wears off with medication and I get released. There isn't much to do while you start hallucinating because I can't actually tell what is going on. I try watching movies with other patients but I can't hear the actual dialogue or see the screen properly so I can't follow the plot. I mostly hang out alone while in mental wards aside from meals and doctors asking you questions/nurses bringing medication.

>>36245706
>I never even learned to ride a bike

This reminds me I taught myself, by going down a slope with my feet a few inches from the ground. Eventually, it worked.


https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201602/10-signs-narcissistic-parent

Your parents sound very off, like mine in many ways.

By the way, I found fuck all that wasn't meme shit for sadism quiz. There was a really long and involved BDSM quiz but that's not really what you were going for I don't think.

>>36245792

That's pretty frightening. If I were you, I'd have pills at hand at all time. Would pills stop it from happening or do they function like antidepressants?

>>36245762
Would I have to tell her exactly what happened, or could I say something vague, because I'm not sure if be comfortable with that

>>36245838
>I found fuck all

One of my favourite Brit expressions: fuck all.

It means "nothing", for those who aren't aware.

Give me that BDSM quiz anyway, I like failing tests that have no consequences.

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>>36245229
>http://www.celebritytypes.com/dark-triad/test.php
sorry to disappoint

>>36245839
It's more frustrating, but one pill won't do much. A lot it revolves around getting sleep and food and having many days of taking pills.

It's not terrifying, just frustrating.

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>>36245859
Sure. Here are my unsurprising results too. Spoilered for slightly lewd information.
https://bdsmtest.org/

>>36245906
I hope you had fun doing it anyway.

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No surprises there.

Told you I was a good boy.

>>36245858

You don't have to go into details, you can even say you're not comfortable with it and that's why you didn't mention it before.

If you merel say, "I've been physically assaulted in the street at night some time ago and it has left me with some mental issues," that will be fine.

Some people don't realise that odd behaviour doesn't come out of magic hats.

>>36245952
Wew I genuinely find these results hard to believe. Were you really answering honestly, in your heart of hearts? How is that possible?

>>36245581
yeah but if i didn't have this name then i couldn't get the occasional anon with the 'nobody cares' puny pun pun. heh

>>36245906

Purdy scary!

(How the hell do you guys answer to get these results???)

>>36245911
>It's not terrifying, just frustrating.

I'd flip out if it happened to me. Damn...

>>36245986
honestly welp

>>36245944

I remember doing this one with my loved one. We'll see what happens.

>>36245971
Well I'll try talking to her and hopefully she'll give me another chance, since I have rent to pay and I can't just leave my house suddenly when my friends don't have someone else to replace me. I'll just say something along the lines of: "I'm sorry I didn't tell you this before, but the reason I started acting up was because of something that happened at night a while ago, which had a big impact on me, if you give me one more chance I promise it won't happen again" sound good?

>>36246027
>Nick in a kink-aware relationship
The plot thickens

>>36245973
>Wew I genuinely find these results hard to believe. Were you really answering honestly, in your heart of hearts? How is that possible?

That is my EXACT reaction to your insane results.

Yes, I answered with my heart. My loved one really thought I was an angel. Until I betrayed her. She thought I was so special, I used to scare her with the idea that I was REALLY an angel and that this could be proven by the fact that I had no asshole, because angels don't shit. It was all jokes but she got concerned enough to want to try and check it out. I never let her. She found another way to see that I wasn't an angel, sadly.

I cry for her every day now.

>>36246082
And to think, she never discovered the colostomy bag

>>36245979

Was thinking the same. I liked that pun.

>>36246059

You need to say "physical assault" or some technical term, not just "something". She's a woman, reading "assault" will give her a much clearer picture than just "something". Ethan, you're not sharing with her, you're informing her of a serious condition you're in. And don't promise things you can't be sure of, it would make you sound responsible when you're not.

"I was physically assaulted some time ago and this has made things difficult for me; I will do my best to solve this."

And do seek therapy for it, for yourself, not just for the job.

>>36246068
>The plot thickens

So does your dick, doesn't it.

>>36246146
The thing is, i wasn't actually hurt during the encounter, so I feel like saying "physical assault" is a lie. And I will look into therapy, but isn't it quite expensive?

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>>36245979
And there's scope for so many more.
>I heard chilling laughter behind me. The most frightening part was, I turned round and nobody was there

>Nobody understands!

>It was a horrible accident, but at least nobody died
Just bants, no buli

>>36246280

Then go with just assaulted:

At Common Law, an intentional act by one person that creates an apprehension in another of an imminent harmful or offensive contact.

As to therapy, how does your health insurance work?

>>36246301

Nobody likes your humor.

pls no buli

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>>36245944
would make a good pirate

Your BDSM quiz, I remember doing it, feeling like a damn priest or something. 95% of this stuff doesn't appeal to me at all.

Yet I know how to make excellent sliding knots that only slide from one direction. And I didn't learn that for sailing (but I know use the skill to tie my pullup bar to the beam in my roof).

>>36246354
Rigging is a noble profession. Are you into it or just interested in the idea?

>>36246368
Shibari is a lot of fun. Great aesthetics.

>>36246354

Ahahah, that's fun.

I'm still completing it. Getting triggered by those illegal commas.

>Torturing someone sexually, is appealing
>dat comma separating the subject and its verb for no good reason

>>36246280
Usually for assault, you need visible injuries, such as xrays, photos of bruises or just cops seeing it.

I wouldn't call it that unless you are testifying in court.

>>36246308
Ok I'll go with "assaulted" and I have no clue how my healthcare works with stuff like therapy and mental issues, I'll have to look into it

>>36246399
>Shibari is a lot of fun. Great aesthetics.

I'm not that good, by far.

>>36246435
Yeah that's why I'm apprehensive of saying assault, but I really don't want to describe what happened to her, even if it could save my job

>>36246465
This is probably no surprise at all, but I frequented BDSM clubs and learned a few tricks. Made someone clean up my drink with her hair, talked about knots, spanked an old man in a skirt. Pretty chill crowd.

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>>36245944
>>36246354
Thought I'd join the fun

>>36246435

I gave the legal definition: some assaults don't leave any traces except in the mind.

>>36246439

Do that.

>>36246399
not sure what it is desu, tieing up is appealing though.

shibari hmm, never new that was what it was called.

>>36246474

Short of that, just state what happened in an objective, simple manner.

>>36246499

Damn...

>>36246511

You kinky thang.

>>36245802
I need to somehow find a job for the summer to get them off my ass, but it feels impossible. I keep putting it off, and I get so anxious it hurts when I try to look, let alone apply.

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>>36246511
Wew, interesting results.

>>36246523
It just means the one doing the tying rather than rope bunny, who is the one who is bound.

>>36246523
what. i never typed desu- 100% sure.

>>36246549
Alright I'll just say I was assaulted, and try to avoid saying it explicitly, but if it comes to it, I guess I'll have to

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As expected, I'm not much of a kinky person when it comes to BDSM.

>>36246598
i don't mind doe

>>36246568

The fact that they're pushing for it won't help. I know exactly how that feels. It's made me resent trying anything at all, in the end.

Forget about them, and try to focus solely on how good it'd be for you, moneywise and experience-wise.

I know it won't be easy, but try to remove them from the equation. Do it for yourself.

>>36246499
>>36246499
interesting.

>>36246511
nice

>>36246590
sounds right

>>36246619
hmm-

>>36246598

Word filter?

What filters into desu?

>>36246600

You can also say you'd rather not discuss the details as it's traumatic to you. (We'll have to discuss this when you are ready, however, but at your own pace and whenever you want.)

>>36246621
There's a word filter on
>t-b-h (desu)
>F-a-m (senpai)
>F-a-m-s (senpaitachi)

>>36246688
>hmm-

Yes? Give me some feedback, rigger.

>>36246690
>>36246694
wew - i thought me mad for a minute there.

>>36246694

Don't forget
>g-u-l-l-i-b-l-e (faggot)

My personal favourite.

>>36246717
You're still in the thread so I wouldn't rule it out just yet desu

>>36246733
You're not catching me out you slippery devil

>>36246744
>You're not catching me out you slippery devil

Try it, it's fun:

>faggot

>>36246690
Are you saying that WE have to discuss it, because unless I'm faced with suddenly being out and alone, I'm ok with talking about it, it happened quite a while ago now so I'm mostly over it, but it left enough of an impact to make me fear the streets at night

>>36246710
seems pretty vanilla desu

>>36246619
The only surprise there is 'rigger'. I keep expecting you to get secretly devilish results but you are shockingly vanilla.

>>36246773

We don't have to, but we should. And yes, that's PTSD. You have PTSD. You can tell your boss that too. PTSD from a traumatic assault.

>>36246815
Alright then what do you want to discuss about it?

>>36246619
Are you gay or straight?
This is a highly original question

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>>36246785

Yes.

I'm a goody-two-shoe and I'm vanilla as fuck. (Or am I...)

>>36246792
>The only surprise there is 'rigger'. I keep expecting you to get secretly devilish results but you are shockingly vanilla.

I know right... The only reason why I became a rigger was because my partner was into it and I loved making her happy. So even that part isn't really me.

>mfw I'm a good boy

>>36246840

I think it may help to just share the story. That way you're not alone in carrying it, and it's easier for us to do.

>>36246857

I'm shockingly straight.

Oh, btw I had an interview today and it went well. Now I'm onto the final stage. I expect to get it at this point. Dropped the old spaghetti a little at one stage but considering I wasn't in the mood, satisfied with the outcome.

>>36246912

Share this spaghetti.

Will you tell us what the interview was for?

>>36246864
it's the good ones you have to watch

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Might as well do this. I mean, I'm a virgin haven't gone past kissing but that's only very relevant
My mom massaged a link out of my neck, see, she can be nice, I didn't even ask
I tried paying more attention to my emotions but for me it was sort of "am I feeling this? I don't think so". I tried to do little "check ins" with myself at points, but they were all like that. I'm just glad the talking thing helped rule out autismo

Let's do the theme for today:

How often were you guys washed as kids? My brothers and I were washed once a week, I believe, usually on Sunday.

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>>36246986

Pic related for Facet.

>>36246986
>I'm just glad the talking thing helped rule out autismo

Mostly ruled out yes.

Do this test:

http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv

>>36246879
Well it started with me coming home from a party quite drunk a few years ago. The party was hosted by someone I barely knew filled with people I didn't know, just an excuse to go have fun, something I'd never go to now. I was leaving the party after midnight with a friend, and after a while, we split ways. Soon after I was walking under a kid of tunnel underneath a train station, and realised I was being followed. I recognised the guy from the party but didn't, and to this day still don't know his name. Now, at this time, I had only just come out, and it was obviously spreading through gossip at the party and such, because this guy said something along the lines of "so I heard you were a faggot", and suddenly grabbed me by the collar and pulled out a lock knife, put it close to my throat, forces me to my knees, and long story short he orally raped me knife point, afterwards he left, and took my bag of food with him that I just bought from a supermarket, and my wallet

>>36246995
don't remember but i do remember that i used to have baths with my sister though, we would pretend there was a waterfall at the end and try not to fall down.

>>36246926
>Will you tell us what the interview was for?
Nah.

The question was, what did you learn/ what was the biggest challenge at [previous position]. Had to think of something on the fly that was relevant. Stumbled with my words a bit I think, but came up with an excellent answer at least.

>>36246995
Comfy thread today. Reasonable amount I think. Got fixated on my stepdad's dick when he was in the bath though (shortly after the abuse, so you know).

How was food treated in your respective childhoods?

>>36247017
I hear you. Some of the best ones have been virgins when I found them

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>>36247088

Holy shit, and you said it wasn't "physical assault"? Holy shit, never underestimate the powers of the downplaying gods.

That's worse than molestation, it may even count as rape, legally. Holy shit, Ethan...

That's hyper brutal. You were sexually assaulted, that's the exact definition, use it to your boss. She'll either understand or you're better off not working for her.

But yeah, you need to get yourself a therapist. This is no easy event you went through. Damn...

I'm here if you need to speak about it more, or if you want to change the subject, anything!

>>36247114

That's cute, provided you weren't 15.

I think I might have done the waterfall thing too, actually.

>that feel when the bathtub felt 20 times bigger than it is nowadays.

>>36247088
This is severe. Some would say a life-changing event. If you're able you need to press charges.

>>36247214
Well now that I think about it, there was a physical aspect, but I just didn't really think that it counted because there was no actual harm inflicted.

The worst part is that I still don't know who it was, so instead of being scared of one person out there , I feel like potentially anybody could do this to me again, which is why I got so worked up about it at work today

>>36247057
Some of those questions were worded funny and I wish there was a "some of the time" option, it seems a little too general but who am I to say

>>36247233
yeah, cant fit in a bath nowadays.


>>36247148


>How was food treated in your respective childhoods?

in what sense?

>>36247214
cute image

>>36247148
>How was food treated in your respective childhoods?

In my household, food was almost always the same. Pasta and meat, 80% of the time. It was easy to prepare, though our mother would always make sure to make us feel like her cooking was some kind of modern crucifixion and that we were so lucky to have a cooking mother.

She burned the bottoms of sunny side ups because it was easier to get them out of the pan. I remember eating hundreds of plasticky eggs because of that. Now I cook my own on the lowest setting to make sure my eggs remain nice and soft, and not plasticky. It's like eating clouds.

>>36247271
I would if I could, but I still don't know who it was, and I haven't seen him since

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>>36247308
Fuck, forgot the picture
>>36247315
I can, finally, a perk of being small
>>36246995
When I was really young? Can't remember. As deep as I can remember at least once a day

>>36247296
>Well now that I think about it, there was a physical aspect, but I just didn't really think that it counted because there was no actual harm inflicted.

Ethan, please realise what's happening here: you're downplaying this very, very hard. I know, I've done similar things to my own memories, but it's vital that you realise. It's very much physical and the harm is psychological, and it's deep.

You were held at knife point, that alone is traumatic, but the rest is worse. It sure as fuck counts as physical assault. It's sexual assault. You could arguably call it rape too, but I'll pass on technicalities.

> I feel like potentially anybody could do this to me again, which is why I got so worked up about it at work today

That's PTSD. I'd be scared too, most of us would. It's a normal reaction, and it's not your fault.

>>36247393
I guess I am downplaying it a bit, but I'm not sure if I'd say I had PTSD, I get scared easily because of it but isn't PTSD from stuff like war? It just doesn't seem like I experienced something bad enough to give me PTSD

>>36247088
>>36247296
The first step would be to find out who was at the party. Speak to others who were there. If you recognise him you can give a description. Then you find out who it was, and you extort him. If he has a gf even better. He'll likely threaten you. Make sure you have someone else who knows, but don't tell him who, who will expose him. If you can, force him to do something on video. If you have a big friend or several, even better. Once you have a video of him compromised, you can truly make the most of a bad situation. I've be happy to help you, if I'm able. But I'd want a cut down the line if it goes very well.

>>36247315
So, was food considered important? Was it a
>Clear your plate or else
household? Did you get a lot of sweets? Anything that stands out.

>>36247319
I'm surprised that she didn't take pride in her cooking, given other things you have mentioned. Very poor form.

>>36247336

In my country, you can still sue "against X" even when you don't know. I'd still report it to the police. You'll feel better having done something about it.

The guy who did this to you, you probably weren't his first victim, and probably not his last. So it's important to report it to the police. He'll probably get caught for something else, and you may be called in to identify him.

>>36247354
>As deep as I can remember at least once a day

Question to all: is once a week unusual?

>>36246995
I took a bath every day I believe. I still enjoy baths from time to time (I'm in one right now!)

>>36247460
I've been thinking about trying to find out for a long time now, but I thought it would just be best to try and get over it and forget

>>36247477
Would the police care about an event that happened several years ago? I haven't had much experience with police

>>36247502
Yes, once a week is unusual but I suspect you knew that. Every two, three days is reasonable.

>>36247521
It wouldn't. You haven't forgotten. You will not. He has hurt you deeply. You need to take everything you can from him. Make him weak. Make him want to kill himself, but don't give him the option: threaten his family. Over time you can increase the threats. With the right direction, he'll become convinced that you have more power than you do, and he'll be yours. Damn, I really want to go for this now.

>>36247457
>I guess I am downplaying it a bit, but I'm not sure if I'd say I had PTSD, I get scared easily because of it but isn't PTSD from stuff like war?

Ethan, I'd rather take a bullet in the leg than get orally raped at night by a stranger outside of a war. At least in a war, you expect to get shot at, that's the deal.

PTSD is anything that causes you such intense stress that you suffer from it later with related situations. This can be war, but it can be abusive parents, or what happened to you. It's absolute PTSD: you got assaulted at night, and now you freak out if you have to walk out alone. It's the purest form of PTSD.

You may also react negatively to people holding knives or people following you. Any of this is PTSD.

Don't downplay it. What you went through is worse than many of the things that happen during a war.

>>36247568
I promise you that the police would care and they'd take it very seriously if you go down that route. Remember, it's also a hate crime because he abused you for your sexuality. Extremely serious in the eyes of the law.

>>36247502
I actually shower twice a day now, once in the morning as a habit and kids are gross so once when I get home

>>36247600
Thanks, I'll go to the police station tomorrow and tell them what happened

>>36247460
>Once you have a video of him compromised, you can truly make the most of a bad situation. I've be happy to help you, if I'm able. But I'd want a cut down the line if it goes very well.

You're one odd piece of machiavellianism. He should report the guy to the police and sue, not get involved in his own criminal activity!

Ethan isn't the kind of guy who would do this. If he tried, I doubt he'd make it.

>I'm surprised that she didn't take pride in her cooking,

Her cooking was shit, but if we were asked how it was, the only right answer was "good". I tried acting like an adult when I was 17 or so, and told her my actual opinion. It was risotto and it wasn't very good, so I said, "I'm no big fan of risotto, but it's a bit dry, I think." Cue 30 minutes or arguing, followed by crocodile tears from my mother, followed by my father pushing me down my bed and being physically threatening, literally pushing against my legs, which I had raised in defense (my back against the bed).

Cooking and food was mostly a way to remind us who we had to thank for being alive.

>>36247354
i would like to be small.

>>36247315
i see, i had potatoes and mice 100% of the time when at my mothers, when i stayed at my fathers, i guess due to awkwardness on my part i felt i couldn't just eat their food so i never had breakfast or lunch for that weekend - i was always made food for dinner i didn't like and father got angry when i didn't eat it , so forced self- heh my fault for being an awkward eater.

>>36247460
was never fond of sweets when i was younger

>>36247521

Find out. Ask around, use Facebook; you might even find someone who was assaulted too.

>>36247568

Yes. Suppose you were a cop and your job was to serve and protect your people: would you like to know that some homo rapist was loose? Hell yes, even years after the fact. Absolutely. You can go with your boyfriend for support.

>>36247568
Statute of limitations on crimes vary, sexual assault is usually more than just a few years though. I'd say report it, but it can be mentally tough I imagine.

>>36247502
I've never gone more than a day without bathing, but I think a few times a week is acceptable. Once a week seems too little to me.

>>36247675
>Ethan isn't the kind of guy to do this

You're right, as much as I hated the event, I wish no harm upon the man who did it, I hope that he's made a better a life for himself now

>>36247575
>Yes, once a week is unusual but I suspect you knew that. Every two, three days is reasonable.

>I suspect you knew that

No. I had no idea. I grew up being washed once a week and later on I washed myself once a week. I washed my hair more often as a teen and later, but I didn't know once a week was "unusual". I started showering way more often when I started working out and being given moisturiser for my very dry face skin (my loved one provided me with everything I had needed ever since childhood but was never advised on, I didn't even know there were solutions for my problems).

Assume I don't know anything about a normal childhood.

>>36247575
>It wouldn't. You haven't forgotten. You will not. He has hurt you deeply. You need to take everything you can from him. Make him weak. Make him want to kill himself, but don't give him the option: threaten his family. Over time you can increase the threats. With the right direction, he'll become convinced that you have more power than you do, and he'll be yours. Damn, I really want to go for this now.

While I agree in part, I don't think Ethan wants to burden himself with a dark mission like this. Jesus Christ, Facet, would that really be your plan of action? It could backfire easily and you'd end up in prison even though you were innocent.

When you're innocent, don't act like a criminal. The law is on your side.

>>36247717
Yeah, I'll definitely go to the police tomorrow, as for asking around, the only person I've asked is my boyfriend, who was at the party as well (before he was my boyfriend) and didn't know who he was, but recalls seeing him

>>36247630
You're welcome. I wish you the very best in finding justice. It will grant you the closure you need. Hopefully then, with time and therapy you will be able to regain what you have lost. I'm sorry that something like this happened to you. Remember that it was not your fault, it was a big deal and you are not bad because something bad happened to you.

>>36247675
>Ethan isn't the kind of guy who would do this. If he tried, I doubt he'd make it.
I figured as much, but it seemed worth offering at least. You can understand me responding strongly to this.

>>36247675
I wonder if the police could be an option for you too, actually.

>>36247696
That's a little unusual, but no biggie.

>>36247741
Why? Are you sure you're not just repressing it?

>>36247776
But what if you became muddy? Children are not clean animals.

>>36247600
>Remember, it's also a hate crime because he abused you for your sexuality.

I personally find the "hate crime" thing stupid, but if that helps, all the better. I kinda doubt it'll work because the scumbag is a homo himself, obviously. So I doubt that angle will work, unless the police is refined enough to understand homosexual homophobia.

>>36247630

Excellent! You're making progress every time you come. I applaud you.

>>36247696
>i had potatoes and mice 100%

What? Mice?

>>36247816
It's just something I've been mulling over myself. I suppose it could backfire though, and that would be bad.

>>36247840
Homos can still be tried for hate crimes. You might find it stupid but it adds that extra power to the case. There's a mandatory increased level of gravity I believe.

>>36247719
>Once a week seems too little to me.

I think my mother didn't want to bother with showering us more often. My father never took care of it I don't think.

I recognise the pattern of laziness and not wanting to spend time with their children, because my parents are not human.

>>36247832
>you can understand me responding strongly to this

Sorry for my ignorance, and for prying, but why is that? Has something similar happened to you? If so, I'm sorry for bringing it up

>>36247877
mince* i see how that could of looked funny

>>36247741
>I hope that he's made a better a life for himself now

He most likely has severe issues that he isn't treating. While you do well not to wish him harm, don't go too far. This is a man who would deserve being murdered for what he did (and I hate him very intensely for having done this to you). You're a good person, you don't have to be so kind to him, however. He doesn't deserve it.

>>36247857
Thank you!

As for my boss, should I tell her the story, or just say I was assaulted, I don't want her feeling sorry for me, I just want my job back

>>36247899
Couldn't you just get in the shower yourself? Or would they get angry over that?

>>36247920
Thanks, but I wouldn't want someone being killed for a mistake they made one night. I even find imprisonment harsh, I think this man needs help, not punishment

>>36247906
You don't need to apologise. I'm very transparent about my experiences; honestly, though they affect me a great deal I feel so distanced from them I can talk about them without feeling moved. You can ask whatever you like.

The tl;dr is that when I was about seven me and my brother were abused by an older boy. A bully. The worst part, though, were the threats. The sex stuff was one thing but all the stuff that came with it made it truly nightmarish. We were convinced that if we ever told, it would be such a horrendous crime that not only would we die, but God and the Devil would basically team up to torment us; the worst Hell imaginable wouldn't equal the suffering to follow. So when I did tell I did so for my brother's sake. He begged me not to because we both knew what was coming, but I did it anyway.

>>36247982
Oh my god I'm so sorry, you've gone through a thousand times worse than I have. What happened to the bully?

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>>36247832
>You can understand me responding strongly to this.

Yes.

>mfw

>>36247832
>I wonder if the police could be an option for you too, actually.

For my parents or X?

We've considered suing our parents, but figured there was too little evidence and it'd be more problems than anything. There's no prescription in my country, so we still might.

>But what if you became muddy? Children are not clean animals.

That never happened. My parents always whined about how we didn't go out much, but we knew better than to dirty our clothes. I never had fun in puddles of mud and such. I was super well-behaved and never did anything I knew to be wrong. I realise I didn't act as a child and thought of adult concerns such as not dirtying my clothes instead of fucking some mud up. I never dirtied anything or made any kind of mess. I think I knew I was better off not doing such things.

>>36247908

I was getting concerned. Being fed mice, holy shit.

>>36247921
>As for my boss, should I tell her the story, or just say I was assaulted, I don't want her feeling sorry for me, I just want my job back

"I was sexually assaulted one night when I was coming back home; ever since, I've been scared to walk alone at night."

That's enough that way, she'll understand very well. You don't even have to say PTSD. If you want, I can write you a model for an e-mail that you can send her.

But did she fire you already or only threatened to?

>>36248017
I think he tried to kill himself by drinking petrol. He was abused by his stepfather so I do feel bad for him too. I'm sure he's a real piece of shit now though. I saw his brother once and I absolutely froze. I was in the supermarket. My eyes went to a can of tomatoes. I thought about it - whether I could kill him - but in the end I ended up hiding from him, as though I was the one who should feel ashamed. It was a bad moment.

Again, don't downplay. What you went through would scar anyone. Honestly, for most of the people who visit these threads life hasn't been a bed of roses, and the solidarity is one of the best things about it.

>>36248096
I hope that you do make your parents pay, and the law would be the best way to do it.

>I was super well-behaved and never did anything I knew to be wrong
One day you may go off the rails if you don;t learn to let your hair down in some small way. I hope I'm around at that point if it does happen.

>>36247948
>Couldn't you just get in the shower yourself? Or would they get angry over that?

I was a kid. In my world, showers are taken on Sundays. I had no idea once a week was not much. It wouldn't have come to my mind to do things differently.

In the past, people didn't use water to wash, they thought of water as dirty, so they never used water. Would one of them decide to use water? No. Same for me. (To be fair, water was gross in the past so they might have dodged more diseases than not by dry-cleaning.)

>>36248177
Me, obviously. Has anyone noticed that the doubles game seems really strong ITT?

>>36248154
She started out by outright telling me not to come back, but once she calmed down, it was more "if this happens AGAIN, don't come back" so I feel I need to apologise and explain myself

I don't know if you remember me but i was the one who asked you a question about women.

So you just said that i should wait and that "let's see how it develops" means that she needs time.

I just asked this girl if she wants to do something with me and she just said yes.

But after i asked her for a time and day she just said.

"Hihi <3 you are my best friend"
"I'm happy that we are something

She always says things like that if i do something with her like she wants me to know that i'm friendzoned.
Hihi you are my best friend

>>36247953
>for a mistake they made one night.

Oh, no, this was no mistake, Ethan. This was premeditated, planned, and carried right to the end.

> I even find imprisonment harsh, I think this man needs help, not punishment

He knew what he was doing and most likely got off on knowing how bad it was. I agree he needs help, but he also needs justice. He may require to be taught empathy forcefully. I'll be probably sound more like Facet than you would, but I won't shed a tear when this guy gets anally probed in prison.

You're a good person, Ethan, keep it up. You're very resilient and your spirit hasn't been broken. I'm pretty amazed. You're super tough as fuck and don't even realise it.

>it wasn't really physical for an assault
>U WOT M8

You are a superior being, Ethan. I'm not even kidding. You're tougher than a war vet in my eyes.

>>36248177
Sorry to hear what happened to you, and thanks for the advice, also:

>bed of roses

Kinda poetic, seems comfy, but roses have thorns. I like it

>>36248230
Tell her to just fuck off. She's a parasite. I know this is standard /r9k/ advice, but she will lead you on in order to drain you dry.

>>36248177
>I hope that you do make your parents pay, and the law would be the best way to do it.

Unfortunately, there isn't one event that stands out so much, with evidence, that could be used for suing. It's years and years of covert abuse, with some things that are worse, but I was told it wouldn't work out in court much.

My parents are paying already: by being pieces of shit. I'm free of them now.

>One day you may go off the rails if you don;t learn to let your hair down in some small way. I hope I'm around at that point if it does happen.

Oh, that was when I was a kid. I did things differently after that.

>>36248260
Thank you for your kind words, and I understand that he premeditated it, but I meant mistake as in looking back, I'm sure he regretted what he did. I understand where you're coming from with the justice view though, but I guess it's just not how I'd like things to be done.

>>36248211

Yes. Thread started with trips. Kek be praised.

>>36248216
>so I feel I need to apologise and explain myself

Fuck no, you don't apologise, you explain your stuff (and I'm serious about the e-mail, I'll write you a model if you want) and SHE will apologise to you.

>>36248348
>I'm sure he regretted what he did.
You shouldn't be sure of that at all. The most compelling evidence is that he robbed you too. Insult to injury.

>>36248230

Being a girl's best friend doesn't always entail that she doesn't want the D.

Ask her on a date, see what happens. It'll be obvious if she wants more or what.

If I recall, she has issues of her own and NEEDS a slow pace.

>>36248365
I would like the model please, as I think we still have two different opinions on what to say, but I trust you and will try and understand what you mean

la beeeeeep la boooooop

>>36248348
>I'm sure he regretted what he did.

95% sure he didn't. This isn't the sort of thing you go "Ooops" about. To do this, one needs to have almost no empathy.

>>36248457
I'm pretty sure he was quite drunk as well, which obviously makes you do things you wouldn't normally do. Not to say you're wrong, it's just that that's what I think

>>36248402
They usually are leading you on. They want you to orbit, they crave the attention.
>>36248230
Drop her, she'll cause more pain in the long run than whatever you feel immediately.

>>36248402
Yeah she has many issues.

But i asked her if she wants to do something and she said yes but after she said yes she dropped a "You are my best friend <3"

I think i'm done with her.

>>36248407

OK, I'll improvise it here:

"Dear Mrs Boss,

In view of my recent behaviour and your disapproval of it, I am forced to explain a few things, so you can judge the situation appropriately.

A few years ago, I was sexually assaulted in the street at night, and robbed, at knife point. The trauma of this event has never quite left me and this is the reason why my behaviour becomes abnormal on occasion. I am doing my best to counter the trauma, but it doesn't go away easily, nor quickly.

I would understand if you saw me as unfit for the job, and I can only ask you to give me a chance to improve my condition as well as my ability to perform my job as you see fit.

Best wishes,

Ethan Toughasnails


Something like this.

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>>36248449
>Nobody is THIS cute of a robot

>>36248492
Alcohol lowers your inhibitions.

>>36248492

Have you checked yourself for any STD's and such?

>>36248518
>But i asked her if she wants to do something and she said yes but after she said yes she dropped a "You are my best friend <3"

What's the "something"?

>Anona, do you want to do anal with me later?
>Yes! Hhihi, you are my best friend anon, <3

This would not cancel anything.

>>36248568
Yes of course, worst experience of my life

Guys, I should go to bed very soon. I'm staying a few more minutes if you have anything to tell me before I leave.

>>36248542
This is excellent, thank you for this, I'll tweak it a bit and send it ASAP

>>36248619

Glad to help! You deserve it. You're a golden person.

>>36248619
Good luck and godspeed. I hope you continue to post in these threads.

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I have a weird problem, Nick. First time posting in these kind of threads. There's a lot of other discussions going on rn and a lot of replies, so maybe i should wait for the next thread. Maybe.

>>36248633
>>36248666
Thank you both, I will definitely be keeping you updated on my situation, as it was you who helped me to improve it so much!

>>36248591
If you want i can quote what i said and she.
This was the first time that i asked if she wants to do something the last time she asked me.

She made a picture of her cat and made a Snapchat story

I said "Hehe back in the City and touching the pussy?

She : " Hihi and that Shushi icon"

Me " How was Berlin?"

She: "Nice <3"

Me : " Do you want a smooth question or just a plain one"

She : "Like always the smooth one :P"

Me :" Heyy Emily whats that thing on your shirt in the picture?
Hmm i think the story is to long to write let's just meet at 16:00 at the Cafe on Thursday"

She : "My best friend <3"
"Yeah let's do it"

>>36248673

Ask away. How many conversations are ongoing isn't your problem, don't worry about it. Tonight is pretty chill, in fact.

Me again! Pretty much just feel like venting again. The angrier I get the hornier I get.

>>36248816
Like a sexual Hulk.

>>36248723

She doesn't react negatively to your lame sexual joke (that's huge).

She calls you her best friend with a HEART afterwards. And she says to go do it, even though the way you introduced your invitation is just strange.

If not with words, make a move physically, come closer to her, but not in a creepy way. See her reaction.

Mostly, look into her eyes. If she looks back and holds your gaze, it's a good sign.

>>36248609
pre-emptive bye bye, night.

>>36248816
>>36248838
>Like a sexual Hulk.

That's disturbing as fulk.

Murderfag, I think you'll want to talk with Facet tonight.

>>36248849

Bye bye!

I'm just waiting for raccoon anon to tell his story and then I'll be in my bed. I hope to see the thread live on after I'm gone. I do read from my phone.

>>36248756
How do you overcome guilt? Is karma real? I think I'm losing my mind. I used to not feel guilt for doing certain actions but right now everything is kind of becoming clear and i'm realizing certain things through a moral perspective.

Sometimes i freeze up and other times i just feel like i need to die, but im afraid to die because hell seems so scary if it exists.

Sorry if my point is hard to get across. I'm an ESL fag

>>36248839
She always does the same lame sexual jokes too.

So just looking in her eyes will do the trick?

>>36248920

OK, first thing I feel is that you're doing a good thing. You're realising more than you did before, you're becoming more aware, more conscious, more moral. All of this is good.

But, with it, comes guilt. Not a bad thing either, especially if you should feel guilty for what you did. You're a more moral person by recognising what you did.

By now, you should tell me what you did, so I can understand your reaction better.

>>36248965
>So just looking in her eyes will do the trick?

It's not a trick, it's the best communication. You'll know through her eyes.

>>36248920
Karma isn't real per se. Guilt is the main way that it's felt, meaning some of the worst offenders never pay. You won't go to Hell: for a start the two concepts are from different systems. The only Hell you're likely to feel is the one you make for yourself. Just move beyond it. The best way to do that is to try and atone for your misdeed if you can't get over it.

>>36248838
That's very profound.

I'm so tired but I have no idea why. I've been sleeping with my cpap almost every night the past 2 weeks for about 8 hrs on average.

I'm tired in general of everything. I usually have to go about my day and go to work and shit and I don't feel ready at all.

I feel like I can't think straight just in general but because of all these issues. I probably am not...

Also it's been about 3 years since I had much emotion. I've been wanting them to come back for about 2 years. Idek anymore

.....I don't remember anything unusual from my childhood. Well in high school I didn't really talk to anyone at all. I didn't go online much back then and I had no friends either.

Idk why I thought my life would improve.

I wish I was never born at all.

>>36249023

You and Facet should really talk. You have quite a bit in common.

>>36249035

http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv

Do this.

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>>36249023
What's going on? Vent away, Murderino.

>>36249000
>>36249044

Check'em.

Check my original repeating digits.

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>>36249000
I will try it as always thanks for the advice Nick.

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Guys, I'm sorry, it's 3:13 a.m. here and I can't hold on anymore.

For anyone I miss, I'll be there tomorrow.

>>36249099

You'll be fine. Don't worry.

Nighty all.

>>36248979
I really don't want to go into detail rn because my story is pretty strange and le edgy but I've done various bad things and associated with various bad people for a good couple of years now

I was raised catholic and from a christian perspective im going straight to hell when I die.

Currently, im not too religious but the thought of god, karma, punishment has been scaring me shitless. Like i can hardly even fall asleep sometimes without having just weird religious nightmares. Im starting to believe Hell is a very real place and im going there and im so scared

Ive taken even to smoking ice or hielo just to stay awake sometimes cause im afraid of sleeping.

>>36249083
>Those digits
You are like a little baby.
>>36248666
>>36248555
>>36248311
>>36248211
>>36248177
>>36247600

I always feel anxious in public. My palms get sweaty constantly, along with the rest of my body, my face gets warm and red, my heart starts beating much faster, and I feel like I'm the center of attention even when I know I'm not most of the time.
Also, I have prolonged periods of intense anger and intense sadness, with very little happiness (i.e. I experienced happiness for the first time in over a year this week when talking to a girl, lasted a few minutes and when she wouldn't reply I'd feel angry and sad).

And I have strong fantasies of murder and rape, I feel that I've come close before.

I know it isn't with today's theme, sorry

>>36249119
Sleep well. Hopefully no cunt bans you this time.

>>36249134
Remember that it is faith, not works, that guarantees your spot. Pray, and as a Catholic, confess. You're not bound for damnation provided you repent - and it seems clear that you're penitent.

>>36249163
The theme was just to inspire conversation. You needn't worry about that - most of the thread hasn't related.

Can you think of any event that might have led to these feelings? They're quite powerful, and such things are unlikely to be without an instigating factor.

>>36249231
Should I kill myself, though? I keep "sinning" and must continue to sin or i'll probably die. I'll die if I end up in prison too.

My only 2 options seem to be killing myself and somehow getting into a US prison where i can be safe but i might just get deported.

I just really want to start anew from a blank slate but i'm starting to feel like thag i'm not meant to just go without some kind of punishment or whatever on my life. I can hardly even call myself "religious" but these feelings have a sort of religious feel to them cause of my upbringing.

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Shit, my gf is hassling me to sleep. Sorry to abandon the thread - I'd planned to stick around a while longer than this. Instead I must behave like an under the thumb cuck. Murderfag please vent away and I will respond in the subsequent thread.

Night to newcomers and regulars alike - in particular for tonight, Ethan, nobody, zoidberg, murderfag and welcoming perezoso and TylerT

>>36249392
night night facet

>>36249067
I just really wanna hurt myself. Like I really want to cut myself open and bleed. I just have such a lust for violence. I don't know how else to not except to keep repressing and pretend the feelings aren't there.

>>36249425
i should go to sleep myself desu

>>36249388
No because suicide is an irredeemable sin. Guaranteed Hell for that one if you're Catholic. Even if you're not, this is it: no do-over. You need to unfuck yourself in this life. The 'punishment' is to make something of your life; wallowing is mere self-indulgence. If you can improve your lot enough to help those around you, your life will have been worthwhile. Help others. The first way to do that is to visit these threads in order to learn more of yourself and to offer support to others by listening and responding.

>>36249445
boxing or mma desu?

>>36249392
Good night. I'm going to try to lucid dream tonight so I can act out some fantasies. I used to be a pro at lucid dreaming, but it's harder than it used to be.

>>36249456
We probably all should.

>>36249445
Take up a martial art. A proper full-contact combat sport. To hurt and to be hurt is very cathartic.

>>36249483
>>36249499
Maybe. I have pretty bad social anxiety and I think that would make it hard. But the thought of getting a beating every once in a while is orgasmic. ...maybe I will look into that.

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>>36249499
Thanks for the advice man. I'll be sure to visit the next thread.

If I'm cutting myself for pleasure and not because I'm suicidal at all, do you guys think that's an issue? I don't do it because my wife would be completly heartbroken if I started again, but sometimes I feel like she's overreacting. I'm not suicidal.

>>36250024
Have your wife cut you

>>36249392
Goodnight friendo, see you later