How To Normie Guide

>>36230497
How much money do you need to have saved up/earned per year in order to safely move out?

>>36230671
Depends on where you live/what you do, living costs and rent vary a lot from country to country
If you're a student and there are bursaries from the government for that kinda stuff, it's a lot easier. If your country has an extensive welfare program and support for low-income housing, tap into that. Do your research before moving out.
Two general tips though: unless your family is absolutely shit and you hate living with them, living at home can give you more stability to tackle those self-improvement/personal growth things. Funnily enough, moving out is not as big of a thing as it might seem to you. Yes it's a big step to independence, but it's not necessary/an absolute requirement to move out right away when you're an adult. Don't put that kind of pressure on yourself and feel like others are going to be little you for still living with your parents. What's way more important than what others think is that you personally are in a mentally stable position and a good place to take this challenging step. Either way, you should have some money saved up for deposits etc. and should have a stable source of income before considering moving out, it's stressful enough as it
#2 is that I would encourage everyone who wants to move out to share a flat with other people. Not only does it make things cheaper and more affordable, having other people there can help with mental health stuff (because living on your own can make you feel really lonely and isolate you) and can give you a sense of security (there is someone there who could look after you if you get sick or if you need advice from someone).
With moving out comes so much more responsibility that you have to take on, rent, bills, grocery shopping & cooking, doing laundry, keeping the flat clean, all sorts of tiny stuff that you don't really notice when you're living at home but that really eat into your time once you've moved out

>>36230497
Are you good looking? That's literally my only problem. Is there a solution for that?

>>36230841
If that were literally your only problem you wouldn't be a neckbeard virgin NEET. No, you have other problems.

>>36230841
I'm moderately attractive at best. You wouldn't believe what you can make up with confidence, social skills, intelligence, humour and also exercise and good posture and body language

Plus even if you're unattractive, chances are there are people out there who will find you attractive, you might just have to search around for a little. And while you're searching, work on improving yourself physically and mentally and becoming a better person, that shit is attractive as fuck

>>36230791
I'm asking since I'm starting to see my mother is displaying more and more narcissistic tendencies (Has she always been this way or is this new? Hard to tell.) and I do not think I can rely on her to support me for much longer. The list of things that would get be thrown out grows longer by the week.

>>36230867
I'm not a neckbeard NEET, I have a good job and I own an apartment. I'm a 25 yo virgin.

I have good clothes, I'm thin, I know how to hold a conversation in different subjects, but my looks get in the way. What do?

>>36230880
In that case, definitely consider the possibility of moving out and make a budget. You will need money for rent, bills, groceries and food, transport, clothes, insurance, and probably some other stuff. Make a budget, tally it all up, and see how much your monthly expenditure will be.

About the problem with your mum: talk to her about it. Communication can really help things a lot of the time. That means being open and honest with your feelings and trying to understand her point of view as well. Chances are there is a reason why she is becoming more narcissistic and if you can figure out that reason, understand it, and work on the situation, there is a possibility for this situation to be resolved

>>36230923
It's hard to reason with a person who sees herself as perfect. I remember she used to joke about it when I was younger but back then that was probably the most narcissistic thing she did.

>>36230878
Are you a white? Do you like in a predominantly white area? I'm asking because I'm not really white and I live around white people, and they all consider me ugly because I'm not blonde nor do I have blue eyes. How can i compete?

>>36230897
Either improve looks even more by working on skincare, hairstyle, working out more and building muscle, or consider lowering your standards. What are you looking for in a potential partner? Chances are if you are looking for someone who is about as attractive as you are, you have the possibility of a good match and actually finding someone.

The other thing you might want to consider is how people react to you. It might be that they think you are nice and can hold a conversation, but that you are lacking something else that would make you more interesting to them and thus desirable as a potential partner. Consider expanding how interesting you are by picking up new hobbies, learning a new language, reading books/watching movies, and dabbling into humour more

>>36230497
>even if a girl was to fall for you, you would quickly manage to push her away through self-destructive behaviour and lack of social skills (also empathy).
Oh my god, this, so much THIS

>>36230947
You don't necessarily need to reason or argue with her about it. What is comes down to more is you both being able to communicate your point of view and making the other person understand how you are thinking and why you are thinking this way, as well as (most importantly) understanding how you feel. It's a little hard to give very specific advice while I only know so little, but generally speaking open communication can help mend many things that seem broken

>>36230982
>learning a new language, reading books/watching movies, and dabbling into humour more

I know more than people studying cinema and literature, so that's definitely not a problem.

So, I'll have to settle for an ugly woman? Sad!
Guess I'll remain a virgin, but thanks for the advice.

Now tell us about your life.

>>36230952
I'm white, and I'm living in Scotland currently which is mostly white as well but the city I live in is quite diverse anyway.
Being white definitely helps though, people of colour often have an additional hurdle to overcome when it comes to being accepted/liked by others

>>36231013
It's such a common theme on /r9k/
"I just need to find a gf and she'll save me and everything will be okay" people think it's the end all of everything but it really isn't if you're not in a good place mentally

>>36231064
I'm not exactly a POC, so I can't even enjoy the exotic factor. I'm like 90% white, but it stands out. I know I'm ugly and I don't deserve anything, but this makes me sad anyways.

>>36231053
It seems a little odd to expect a relationship with an attractive woman if you describe yourself as ugly, that doesn't seem to match up.

You also forgot to read the rest of my post, that wasn't just about being "interesting" in terms of having topics to talk about and being knowledgeable about subjects, but about having a certain something "extra" which attracts people. This might include being understanding, empathetic, caring or simply a friendly person in conversation as well. These are usually things many people look for in potential partners as well, and the way in which you talk about how much you know about X and Y and how you complain about having to "settle for an ugly woman" makes me think that's where the problem might lie, charisma/character flaws. Obviously I don't know you or much about your life so it's hard for me to judge, but it seems like that's where the problem might lie

>>36231151
>charisma/character flaws. Obviously I don't know you or much about your life so it's hard for me to judge, but it seems like that's where the problem might lie

you're probably right, but I only have this problems because of my ugliness.

now tell us about your life.

>>36231087
I guess that might depend on your environment. If you're just slightly more tanned than white people, that could play in your favour as tan is generally seen as attractive while being too white or pale can be a negative thing.
About being ugly and not deserving anything: first of all this is some of the negative and self-destructive attitude that I mentioned in my write-up which will stop you from succeeding. Being deserving or not is not really a helpful concept anyway, because who defines who is deserving and who isn't? And even if you might be ugly, saying these things to and about yourself will reduce your self-esteem and confidence which subsequently has negative impacts on your interactions with others because you don't believe in yourself. Ideally, you should ignore the way you look in social situations. It will of course still have an impact on whether or not people are attracted to you, but it will improve your confidence which will improve the way others perceive you.
Physical attractiveness is way less important in social situations than many people think (it has more importance for romance, ofc, but many ugly people can be social - and by being social, be attractive - despite how they look). What influences how you are perceived by others, again, is confidence, body language, posture, and the ways you express yourself: what you say, how you talk, and how well you engage with others in conversation

>>36231211
But what does your attractiveness have to do with whether or not you are an understanding and empathetic person? I don't quite get the connection between the two, and I feel like you are blaming one factor you can not change (looks) for another factor you could change (personality), which may very well be a factor in why you don't seem to have any success in romantic relationships. Do you have many friends, or do you find it easy making new friends (I'm talking on a more deeply connected level than just acquaintances)? If not, that might be an indicator that your personality plays a role in your relationship success and might need some work

What would you like to know about my life?

>>36230497
what happens when you run out of things to talk about with a normie? do i just say bye and leave

a friend of mine who had depression killed himself on tuesday

>>36230497
you can go stick dicks in both your eyes and get hit by a car faggot

leave my board REEEEE

>>36230497
Thanks for doing this for us.

>>36231714
Pretty much. Except you don't say bye, you find a more casual way to exit to conversation (aka. sorry I gotta be somewhere/meeting someone, I'll let you be on your way) and if you want to, you can finish it off with a little "great talking to you, see you around" or some bullshit like that. But yeah, conversations don't have to go on forever, normies run out of things to say all the time. What you do is you find a way out of the conversation, often through some excuse to leave. Make sure your body language signals this as well (eg. while you're finishing your last sentence, turn your feet and body slightly away from them, this indicates to the other person you're about to leave the conversation). It's all about making the end of the conversation seem casual and natural instead of abrupt and awkward. After talking to normies for a while, you'll start to recognize when a conversation is about to end and be prepared for it

>>36231750
Hey buddy, this used to be my board as well for many years, just because I've now managed to attain normie-passing status doesn't mean I can't check in on you guys anymore

>>36231728
I'm really sorry to hear, that's awful. 3 of my friends have tried to commit suicide at some point, it's a really shitty situation to be in. How are you holding up?

>>36231334
Just talk about your relationships.

>>36231834
Well your life is boring and shit if you feel the needs to '''check up''' on this place.
If I became a socially adjusted normie, the last place I would ever think of coming back to would be this miserable shithole

>>36231997
I'm not quite sure what to tell you, it'd help to know what you're looking for. I've been with my current girlfriend for about 1 1/2 years at this point, things are still going well, we communicate a lot and it's a decent relationship because it's based on trust and understanding.
Before that, I was single for a while, had a short friends-with-benefits thing going with a friend of mine because we'd both come out of relationships around the same time before that and that was fun as well.
I'm really not quite sure what you're looking for but I'd be happy to answer any questions you have.

>>36232116
My life is pretty alright actually, apart from going through a depressive episode right now things are pretty okay, I'm in a much better place than during the time when I was here.

This is the first time I've been back since 2014, I certainly don't feel the need to constantly check in on what's happening here. It's more that I'm in a much better place now mentally then I was then and I thought I could give some advice to people who struggle through similar things that I went through then. (plus it's been fun procrastination, I have lots of work to do)

>>36231334
It actually has a great effect. If you have an attractive face you don't have to experience envy every day of your life, so you aren't dead inside. Basically being in a good situation yourself makes you able to care about other people's sorrows.

You say that it doesn't matter, and yet you tell that guy it's odd that he expects to find an attractive girl, as if he was a lesser human being. There's nothing he can do about it. If that doesn't kill any positive feelings in a person, I don't know what does.

>>36230497
>pastebin isn't just "be yourself"

OP you had one job

>>36232416
just be yoself dude, the chicks will dig it

>>36232398
I am genuinely not very attractive, I would maybe rate on a 5/10 or something, maybe a little higher on a good day. I've also never considered myself to be particularly attractive and had lots of issues with how I look in the past. I also feel like the two can be separate. You can be empathetic and caring of others without being attractive yourself, it's more about personality which is not directly related to yours looks. I understand your point about feeling bad about yourself and your looks, and how that can drag you down and prevent you from caring about others. What I meant by caring about others is not necessarily "caring about their sorrows" though, it's about taking an active interest in them and trying to understand them beyond what is beneficial to you (eg. caring about the other as a person, not as an object of desire or in terms of what you can gain from it).
Envy is difficult and it is easy to become envious and salty of others who seem to have it better and be in a much easier situation than oneself, simply because of how they are born, that is a common theme on this board. It's not a healthy emotion to hold on to, however, and prevents you from growing as a person and developing yourself, because you feel like you will by nature be forever unable to live up to what these other people have been given just by virtue of birth. That is why therapy and self-assessment are so important, it's about developing self-confidence and acceptance of one's own body, which in turn makes it a lot easier to take positive steps forward as opposed to bitterly dwelling on the injustice that random distribution of genes is.

I was not implying that guy is a lesser human being in the slightest. What I was questioning was his logic of "I am not attractive but am somewhat interested, and yet I have to settle for an ugly girl". It was worded in a way that made it seem like he felt himself entitled to dating an intelligent, funny, interesting 10/10

>>36232653
*interesting

cont:
It's this sense of entitlement that causes envy and feelings of injustice, and that causes the frustration that so many people on this site feel. Taking a heartless economic view (which isn't ideal for dating because attraction isn't quantifiable but it'll serve to underscore the point), he expects her to be intelligent, funny, interesting, caring AND very attractive, while he does not bring all of these criteria to the table himself. He is frustrated because he feels like he deserves better and this feeling of entitlement ruins many possibly great relationship opportunities that he might have. It is hurting him in the pursuit of his own happiness.
Plus it's also neglecting the fact that just because someone isn't an 8/10, 9/10 or 10/10, they can still be attractive and can be perceived as attractive. I've noticed that the longer you look, the more beautiful things you find in people and I really don't think "settling" (it shouldn't even be called that) for someone who is moderately attractive, but intelligent, funny, caring and compassionate should be seen as something negative.

>>36231086

There's even a good chance the added stress of a relationship could pull you deeper into the spiral of depression.

>>36232738
Plus the eventual breakup, losing the one thing that you thought would make everything whole again, would be even more devastating in this situation. Many of the people on here hardly know how to deal with themselves while wanting a relationship, can you imagine finally having something that you've dreamt of for so long and then losing that thing, feeling it slip through your hands, and realising you were wrong the whole time.
Additionally, it would be an additional blow to their self-esteem because if would increase feelings of unworthiness, insecurity and frustration which are already way too present

>>36230497
Wow, awesome, I will just reach into my pile of money and go get that therapy

>>36232793
I know therapy is not available for everyone everywhere, but if you live in a country where you have that opportunity, go for it.
In any case, it is something worth considering, if you can afford it of course.

However, that's not the only suggestion in there and there are other free services online, such as bigwhitewall, which provide self-guided Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, which can also help, and some online Counselling Services, which if not free are definitely a lot cheaper than conventional therapy. Therapy can't do much more than guide you and assist you in working through your issues anyway, the main chunk of work is done by the person themselves, so it's definitely possible to do it without therapy as well.

>>36230497

What you say about talking to random people in a mall or picking up random chicks walking around Uni are completely on point. Many people on boards like this and the similar ones on reddit seem to really buy into the "it's a numbers game" theory, and then ask out hundreds of women, often people they just run into. They are then are shocked that they get very very few (if any) positive responses. What they're missing is that talking to random people like that literally never happens in the real world, it's incredibly awkward and most of the time when you see people do it on youtube it's faked for the views or pushing some class or book or something. If you wanna meet people (girls or just normal friends) join a club, go to parties, or just talk to your classmates and group members.

An added thing that you may want to point out is the fundamental failure on boards like this where you have the bottom 10% or so of people among the social hierarchy arguing back and forth about trying to become the top 10%, ie. Chad. I'm sorry if you're a 27 year old K Triple-H V card holder then you're better off trying to become like the 80% of guys between you and Chad than aiming for the top. Literally almost all people have sex, almost all people get into relationships, almost all people get married. The focus should not be on being the 1% but getting yourself out of the bottom of the pit.

>>36231053
Recommend movies

>>36232864
That's a very true point. What adds to the whole "picking up people in public" thing is that the youtubers who showcase that a) only show the times when it worked b) are often very attractive and charismatic and c) have an interesting line of dialogue or something interesting about them that gets the girls interested. Doing that as an average attractive person with low social skills and without a conversation gimmick will yield not nearly the same results.

What feeds into the second point is that becoming Chad is not necessarily desirable, even if it was achievable. Chad is a lonely dude and yes, he gets to have sex with some attractive girls and act cold-hearted and non-caring, but in reality he's lacking love, a true connection and real intimacy with someone. Everyone's goals differ of course, but especially this stereotype of the dominant, masculine alpha-dude is incredibly damaging and has many negative consequences for the self-perception of the people that ascribe to it. Not being top 10% should be seen as way more acceptable, if you have someone that you find beautiful, that you can laugh with and cuddle, that you can listen to for hours and that will stick by your side through sadness and joy, who cares where in the social hierarchy (which is bs and doesn't exist btw) you are located?

>>36230497
Still here, OP? I have some questions.

>>36233074
Still here, hit me

>>36233149
Do you have another goal besides end getting pussy?

>>36231064
w...where in Scotland senpai?

>>36233347
With regards to women? Sex isn't the goal, and making it your goal will leave you feeling empty and unfulfilled, even if you succeed. The goal is waking up next to someone that you love, seeing open their eyes and smile at you and say I love you. The goal is having another person that you care deeply about, that you share your highs and lows with, a relationship with mutual support, understanding and respect, fun and excitement. And I feel like I've found that right now. And I hope all of you will get there at some point as well.

In life I have lots of other goals and ambitions that I'd like to fulfil. Right now the primary goal is to get back to being happy,, lots of shitty things have happened the last 1-2 months so the depression is hitting quite hard again, but I'm confident that things will look up again at some point.

>>36230497
>What's up you depressed fucks

Stopped reading there.

You sound like an edgy faggot.

>>36233351
Edinburgh, ya cabbage

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>>36233485
o shit man
me too

>>36233480
well starting off with "Hello dear friends from the Robot 9000 Community :)" didn't really seem in style

I can assure you I'm definitely not edgy in the slightest though

>Pick-Up-Artist shit isn't successful like 95% of the time
I don't know if to laugh or get pissed every time I see this. Not only it does work, it's like magic. Put your PUA knowledge to use and don't fuck it up and you're practically guaranteed to lay a bitch, even a hot one, even if you've been a sperg your whole life before.

At least it worked for me. I'm still a loser for other reasons, but if I wanna get laid I know exactly what the steps I have to take are.

Though normie =/= alpha. PUA is alpha behavior so losers can get laid. Normies are mostly betas who can get laid sometimes cause they're not losers. But if you just want to get your dick wet without changing your lifestyle PUA stuff is your best bet.

>>36233523
damn dude where at?

>>36233525
I'm glad that it works for you for some reason, but that definitely does not mean that it's a universal recipe for success. People without social skills taking on what they perceive as "alpha" behaviour can terribly backfire because it's so easily exposed. That's a problem because people with low self esteem who try out PUA techniques put themselves in uncomfortable, hard to navigate situations where the chances of success are low and when they fail, might come out of it more devastated than before.
The other thing is that even if it does work, PUA doesn't get you anymore than a bit of sex and you don't learn any of the skills necessary to actually function as a human being, let alone to attract a girlfriend. It actually does the opposite by teaching techniques to effectively manipulate women into sex, which is pretty much the opposite of the effect that you want to see in personal growth.
PUA strategies are (at best, that means if they are successful), a short-term, non-fulfilling, manipulative fix to a need for intimacy which lies way deeper than that.

>>36233589
in the middle of town, not far from the uni.
You?

>>36233702
Bruntsfield, so same
UoE?

>>36233149
Okay, sorry for the late reply.

Long story short I'll be moving into a dorm. I was told that girls live in the other room. How do I not spill enough spaghetti to drown the Earth?

>>36233675
You just don't understand the concept, man. It's not a trick for manipulating people. It kinda seems like that at first, on it's surface, but it's more of a guide to social interaction.

Girls are not gonna fall for you for your pick up tactics, but they'll give you the resources so you can engage them and get them to show interest in who you are. If you have no social awareness or experience it's an incredibly useful tool and, in the worst case, if you're a complete fuck up and a person of no substance, they'll still get you laid.

They're also useful for making friends, connections, hell interacting with anyone. It is not a universal recipe for success but a universal manual for social interaction.

>>36230497
>expectations of yourself that are way too high, being afraid of failure, being embarrassed because of your lack of achievements,
>coping with these negative feelings of failure in rejection by isolating yourselves,
>taking drugs to numb the pain, falling into other self-destructive behaviours

Am I really that much of a cliche?

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>>36233710
>UoE?
Yeah. Never expected someone in the same country to be here, let alone same uni.

>>36233739
How much time do you have before moving into the dorm? If you've got enough time and you have some girls to talk to where you live right now (eg. friends or just people you know) talk to them quite a bit beforehand so you get used to the concept of talking to girls and your brain won't spazz out.
Apart from that, play possible situations through in your head (not like you walk into their room and they're butt naked and invite you for a threesome), more like we move in they say hello I say hi blabla - playing through normal situations and eventualities in your head will mean that your head has a go-to response when you're hit with a question that you may not have been expecting.
In addition to that, learn some breathing techniques for anxiety and some stretching techniques for open body language etc. If you know you're gonna have to interact with them and you think it's gonna be a problem, do those beforehand and you'll get a physiological effect that'll make you calmer and more chill.
Are you moving in with someone? In that case, that's great and you can let them do some of the talking so you're not put on the spot.
Don't imagine any dumb situations with them or hopelessly crush on one of them on the first day. If things happen and develop, that's cool, but keep your heads clear at first and push those thoughts away if your brain tries to fantasise

Most importantly, remember to relax and not overthink this. Yes they're girls, but they're still just humans. Chances are you're moving into a dorm for uni and everyone won't have any idea what's going on. Just talk to them like you would to friends, don't put too much pressure on this situation in your mind. Once you have that in your head, it's smooth sailing from there

But yeah, breathe and chill out dude, you're gonna be okay <3 and if fuck ups happen, that's how it goes. Even sociable people fuck up sometimes and when that happens, take a breath and move on because people will forget

>>36233840
These are just really common patterns that many people go through, you're not alone brother <3 But if we can make it, you can too

>>36233860
Same, although as I said I haven't been on here in ages and likely won't be on again until in a couple of years maybe.

Actually I do know quite a few mongs at uni who definitely lurk on /pol/, you can almost instantly smell that kinda stuff

>>36233840
Yes. You robots all are.

>>36233945
how can you tell? Almost everyone I've met are complete normies.

>>36234035
Sometimes they talk in shitty 4chan speak and almost all of the stuff they post on facebook you can tell is straight from /pol/

But yeah, it's hard to tell immediately when you see someone because they might just be a normal loner, but sometimes when you talk to someone for a bit it shines through

like 90% of people here are massive normies though, you're right

>>36234035
also there's this dude who constantly posts about trump and who fucking booked it to Cambodia without telling anyone to take a shitton of drugs because he couldn't stand "all of the lefties" in Edinburgh, he's fucking hilarious

>>36230497

>i used to be just like you, now i'm a normie and happy, so you should definitely trust my advice
Yeah no. Advice should be judged on it's own merit, not because you say so.

>spend less time on the internet
How about you say what to do instead of what not to do? This advice is useless.

>This means that if you slip up in conversation, chances are they hardly noticed
Bullshit. Whenever someone says something retarded, they get teased about it for months, even years.
This advice only applies if you hang around stupid people. Normal people however remember everything.

>PUA is bullshit
I don't see any threads on r9k advocating PUA anon. What are you talking about.

>deal with your emotions
Again. Tell us what to DO, not how to THINK.

>Exercise, proper diet, sleep
Tried for a year. Didn't work. I only got /fit/.

>stay away from drugs
FUCKING TELL US WHAT TO DO NOT WHAT NOT TO DO

>socializing is a learned skill
No shit sherlock.

>start with people that you are comfortable talking to
Who? My parents who hate me and want me gone? Been talking to them all my life every day. Nothing ever changes.

cont...

>>36234178

>Do you have a friend/friends that you can talk to?
No. Just people i know from school.

>sports clubs, chess clubs, pretty much anything where there are people
Nobody goes alone to any of these. I've looked through pictures of countless events. Not a single alone person.
Everybody either has a group, or come with a partner.

>How to talk - just use generic/meaningless shit
Except for the fact that everything is a test. If you get teased, you need to respond accordingly not to appear weak.
If you ignore the teasing, it just continues until you become a punching bag for everybody.
And if you explicitly make people aware of the teasing, you're labeled a whiner who can't take a joke.
You cannot ever relax during a conversation. You have to be constantly aware of this.

>Making yourself interesting
Nobody cares about specific hobbies anybody has. They just want to fill time.

>Watch some videos about body language on youtube
You really think a person is capable of consciously being aware of their body language, other people's body language, AND keep up with the conversation?
Of course not. If it doesn't come naturally to you, you're screwed.

>hurr don't worry, its gonna happen eventually, a woman will like you
Fucking when? What are you supposed to DO specifically?

>>36234191

>you can find people online to chat to in forums or some bullshit
I've done that thousands of times. Most guys drop you after they find out you're not a girl. Most girls live in another country.
The girls who stick around want to talk meaningless shit every day, rant about their day, exchange photos, until they get a bf and drop you.

>>36234178
Points taken and noted. I wrote this up at like 5am so in no way is this a complete guide, merely some pointers.

>advice should be judged on its own merit
yeah ofc, wasn't implying that that was my claim to correctness, simply trying to state that I understand the situation many of the readers are in

>tell us what to do, not what not to do
I feel like this is still valid advice because it'll help you break negative habits and remove yourself from a mentally unhealthy environment

>PUA
Definitely mentioned every once in a while, maybe not in that shape or form, but always something about just wanting to be able to turn on the Chad factor and pick up girls

>Slipping up in conversations
You'd be surprised how much that is true. Yes people might remember it, but the actual chances of this ruining your life or social standing aren't that high, and it's often played up and makes people even more anxious about talking to people

>dealing with your emotions is an incredibly complex topic which after writing 4000 words already I was too tired to expand upon but that may have been important. What I meant is double-checking and re-assessing your thoughts and whether they hold true to reality (something which can be learned through online CBT although it's hard and requires effort) and generally working on yourself as a person and on the view you take on people. This is still not detailed in the slightest and I realise this, but a lot of the time this is based completely on the situation

>nobody cares about specific hobbies
Some people do and through those hobbies you have talking ground with people you have something in common with. Also sounds a lot better than just "I sit in my room and look at pictures of frogs all day"

>body language
I'm not suggesting to consciously watch your body language all the time in conversation, what I am saying is that studying how human body language works can help with self-awareness (cont)

>>36234178
>exercise + diet
those aren't fix all solutions, but rather foundations for good mental health that you can hope to build upon and that hopefully should life your mood slightly, I'm not saying if you'll eat some Kale you'll have instant success with the ladies

>finding friends/people to do things with
I understand your frustration and that it can be difficult to get in contact with people if you don't have anyone. Trust me though, many of these clubs, especially at uni etc can be quite inclusive and it is fine to show up there alone. The reason why you don't see people alone at these events is because during the event they are talking to people and socialising, which is exactly the outcome we want

>talking and stuff
what I meant by that is that you shouldn't hit them with your autismo opinions on Final Fantasy after the first two minutes and keep the topic on safe territory for initial contact especially

>teasing/responding to tests in conversation
generally speaking, the goal of conversation is not to make you uncomfortable or to test you. it depends who you are talking to and in high-school that sort of mentality definitely exists. however most of the time, that won't be the case. Yes there will be conversation strands thrown at you that you have to react to, but if you think in this mindset that everyone is out to get you, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy because every conversation you will be anxiously awaiting the moment when they try to fuck you over which will lower your conversation skills. As with anything, that'll get better over time. You might be dumbfounded the first time and reply too harshly the second time, but as you learn to judge social situations better, your responses will be more measured and you will be less stressed about conversations

>>36234191
>>36234251

>when will a woman like me?
That's one of the things that I wanted to point out with this, that should not be your primary focus. Your goal is to become a well-rounded individual who is content with himself and able to be happy on his own. Self-development is the key here. When we have reached that level, chances are there will also be women who are interested because having your shit together and being a mentally stable person is pretty attractive. This precludes working on ourselves though, both in terms of physical stuff and exercise, but also in terms of personality, self-perception and definition of self-worth.

>people in online chat forums or some bullshit
The thing is, if you have no friends or people you could strike up friendships with, online forums etc. can not be a bad option. Remember, we're not doing this because we are incredibly interested in the people but rather because we would like practice and expand our social skills so if we find people in the real world, we'll be more prepared. Being online gives you the safety of being somewhat anonymous etc. If you have been friends with this girl for a while online and you get along okay, why not skype instead of texting at some point? Great opportunity to not only to test how your speaking etc. works but also to maybe try out some riskier stuff that you're not sure would work in normal conversation, such as trying out jokes or sarcasm.

This guide emphasises one thing as a necessity for personal growth, which is then helpful in the goal of acquiring a girlfriend: working on the problems that you have be that depression, anxiety, autism, personality disorders, social disorders etc. Getting help and assistance for these (if financially possible) could mean that you make progress in terms of personality and become more content with yourself, which has positive knock-on effects etc

The part about "Others are too self centered to notice all your failures" really helped me, it's something I keep forgetting when I (attenpt to) socialize with people I sort of but not really know (classes and stuff)
Thanks so much OP, I feel motivated

>>36230878
What a disgusting post this is to read

>>36235069
I'm not claiming that I'm any of these things, all I'm saying that there is a lot of work that can be done to how improve how one is perceived by others. But I agree, post not worded that well

Alright, I should finally go get some work done and close this tab. Hope this was helpful for a few of view, sorry if it wasn't.

We'll all get through this together and eventually, things will be okay <3

See you in a few years