/cripplingdepression/ general

>>36225758
I just found out my old Japanese notebook while cleaning my room. I tried learning Japanese when I first dropped out of HS. Makes me sad that I gave up learning it, and just spent 3 years doing nothing but post on /r9k/. i recently gave up on learning math too.

don't know what to do with my life

other than that, I'm doing fine shitposting on /r9k/ while listening to Spotify

Every team I like has lost so far in the NHL playoffs, and my home team isn't even it but. But playoff hockey is a good enough excuse to not kill myself.

Other than that I'm extra lonely lately. I officially have no friends, no gf (obviously), and my parents have been avoiding me. I'm pretty sure if I died, no one would care within a week.

>>36225865
Its okay, I give up on most things too
Also math is 4 nerds dont worry
WHatcha listening to?

>>36225886
would you want friends?

>>36225900
>WHatcha listening to?
Get Lucky - Daft Punk is currently playing. I already finished listening to "The Dark side of the Moon", which is considered a good entry album to get into Pink Floyd. I enjoyed it.

Im alright. Kinda down since i feel kinda alone and shit. I just saw power rangers for the second time. still awful but quite enjoyable.

>>36225952
Never listened to Pink Floyd, its eventually gunna be next on my list but idk when

>>36226104
I too feel alone. Wanna talk about it?
Also was the new power rangers garbage?

>>36226129
Yeah lmao my friends dont feel like friends. They just kinda feel like distractions. I just wanna care about someone and have them care about me. Im not close with my family either.

Power Rangers was pretty bad but it was really enjoyable for some reason.

>>36226229
Do you have hobbies that you could use to get close to people?
And I watch a lot of bad movies and enjoy them, you can like garbage stuff

>>36226301
My only hobby is drumming. I dont see me making friends with that one any time soon. Tell me about you, though! What are you feeling? Why are you lonely?

>>36226364
Im stressed and lonely. Stressed because i need a job but im afraid to get one, and lonely because i dont know really, like i have people i enjoy but still lonely for some reason. I want a boyfriend but that wouldnt make me any happier haha

>>36226408
ill be back in like 15 mins i gotta go get food but wait for me. i crave attention lmfao

>>36226448
im not going anywhere
ever
lmao

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skelly! hey. glad to see youre still with us

im sad for no reason

>>36226560
hah honestly wish i wasn't but i've been getting worse and when that happens i spend more time on r9k
Sorry to hear you're feeling sad :(
also thats a good picture of me

>>36225758
I started a new job 6 months ago. I don't have a regular schedule and am pretty much always on call. It's making my anxiety fucking terrible, the thought I will be called to work always worries me. I feel like I'm losing my mind, I always seem to get a new job and have my anxiety shoot through the roof, but now I have bills to pay.

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>>36226625
>hah honestly wish i wasn't but i've been getting worse and when that happens i spend more time on r9k
fugg. id say that were both gonna make it but i dont think either of us would believe it

>>36226637
that honestly sounds awful, not having a regular schedule would ruin my routine, and i reallly need that to function.
Could you look for another job?

how long has it been since you last made a thread?

>>36226408
i used to be lonely like that and i still am, but now all the friendships and relationships feel kinda not real. Im sorry you feel that way ://. Get a boyfriend. YOU NEVER KNOWWW

>>36226697
Yesterday. No one responded. Its been at least one a week for a month ish now. Trying to be more regular about it but its hard

>>36226718
Why dont they feel real to you?
And idk im hung up on this boy who doesnt like me like I like him and I should move on but also I'm a shut in at this point and its hard to meet other people let alone other homos

>>36226663
I might after a year. The thing is they pay me well. Also, the thought of quitting and having to talk to my boss and co-workers about that sounds horrendous.

>>36226857
Thats true, I wouldnt wanna have that talk either

>>36226752
They dont feel real because it doesnt feel like they care very much. Maybe im just dumb. The only person i genuinely adore and who i think adores me is my best friend thats a literal autist so he never lets it show and hates physical contact/feelings. I dont know how to help you with that, since ive never been super hung up on anyone.

>>36226979
Ah i get that, like surface level relationships.
Its cool, i know exactly what to do but i wont do it haha

>>36226979
I have that same problem recently. I have?had? friends that i would make time for, try to invite to things. But either they're too fucking lazy or just don't care enough to put in effort to do the same. Like if i didn't try all my "friendships" would just die when nobody reaches out or makes an effort. Should have been a football playing normie. Fuck.

>>36227096
yeah man. so hows everything? what are your hobbies? what music do you like? what are you doing right this second?

>>36227288
Shitty, being a NEET sucks for my mental health. Hobbies are generic video game stuff, bad movies, dungeons and dragons, physical history and esoteric internet drama. Music uhh depends on my mood, had beach boys stuck in my head for the past few days. Right now currently playing bideo bames

>>36227369
What game? I havent played video games for a long ass time now. Injustice here and there with my autist friend. I main joker and i will fuck you with him.

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are anti depressants worth it lads. i just feel shit all the time and feel like my brain is shutting down. i cant type worth shit and my attention span is worsening when it was already shit. also im losing interest in vidya

>>36227459
Persona. They actually made the combat good this time
I used to play fighting games but I've always been shit and noone every plays them with me

>>36227483
I think so. How long has this been going on?

>>36227483
>are anti depressants worth it lads
I've heard nothing but good things about Xanax, but never managed to get my hands on it. I used to take Wellbutrin and Bupropion, but never felt the difference.

Also, if you're having attention span problems, then I think antidepressants will make that worse. Since they're supposed to make you feel calm

>>36227508
Ive never been good at games EXCEPT fighting games. dunno why

>>36227566
huh nice, you have a community around it where youre at?

>>36227508
about four years on and off. droped out of post high school and uni because of it. im worried that i might have fucked up too much already but idk if it will help.

desu im kind of against it because i dont want my mom to have to buy antidepressants and i havent been honest with my shrink about the depression

>>36227545
>Since they're supposed to make you feel calm
does it have an anti anxiety effect also?

>>36227576
nah. Only my friend who introduced me to Injustice and comics overall

>>36227601
You need to be honest, its doing you more harm than good when you arent
Also I'm sure she wouldnt mind

>>36227642
You into superheros in general?

>>36227692
Yup. Currently reading The Flash: Lightning Strikes Twice

>>36227739
god the flash is a bullshit hero
honestly I dont really like superheros because there dont really seem to be consequences involved with the universe(s)

>get a job
>start losing weight
>feel even worse

Is there any hope or should I forget about being happy again?

>>36227774
The flash IS a bullshit hero lmao

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>>36225758
it's my birthday
the only birthday wishes I got were from my brother, a taken girl who rejected me years ago, and another taken girl who rejected me a month ago. And the last one sent me a poem about the beauty of life.

when does the suffering make you stronger lads

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>>36227692
>Also I'm sure she wouldnt mind
im pretty sure if i mention constantly wanting to kill myself shell tell my mom

Whats up bros hope I'm not too late. Flunked outta college and tried community college and didnt go cuz useless piece of shit now my richfag parents encouraged me to apply to art school and I'm doing it cept I'm trash. they think I'm doing good I'm fucking up big time all over the place. everything is about to come crashing down real soon looking forward to prolly an hero who knows well see

>>36227794
Do you enjoy the job? If not, would you be up for switching?

>>36227845
STRONG AGREE

>>36227854
Happy birthday my dude.
Also suffering only makes you stronger if you're a masochist or have deluded yourself into thinking its a good thing

>>36227917
You probably need help soon then. DO yyour parentsknow how you feel>?

>>36227935
yeah mom and dad know I'm real depressed. they reach out a lot feels real good but I'm not gonna be able to tell em if this wild false illusion falls apart since there'll prolly be no recovery without massive fallout

>>36227794
You do stuff in your free time? You got any fun shit to waste time and money?

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>>36227935
thanks dude

*raises glass

>>36225758
Not too good. A little over 3 months ago, I came to one of these very threads and shared I lost my best friend of 9 years, but not before he threw a couple of my biggest insecurities from our time in my face and calling me a disappointment to him, and I still can't stop thinking about it.

I keep going over motives for this and what it'd be like to talk without me being a pussy like last time even though it wouldn't change anything. I wish I could stop.

>>36227973
You need to tell them before things collapse

>>36228085
no problem my dude

>>36228126
I think i remember that. IIRC he sounded really narcissistic and probably a bit mentally ill
Dont bother talking to him, he's long gone my dude

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I am oh so sprung for this girl in my cohort, skeleton. So sprung. I don't think I have ever wanted somebody so badly in all ways.

On another note, one of my closest irl friends is a virgin lesbian and we have had many conversations lately about how we both are frustrated horny virgins ready to fuck. It's nice to have people to talk to without boundaries and judgment.

>>36228166
Can't. On the off chance things finesse their way mediocre to good they can't know about the bad years. Plus they're too success for me to be a fuck up an an hero would be a huge favor down the line

>>36228455
Whats wrong with them knowing about the bad times?
killing yourself isnt going to do them any favors

>>36228403
Why this particular girl?
And yeah, its very nice to have people to talk to

>>36228520
Relatability is the main factor. We come from nearly identical backgrounds, and I already do not fundamentally relate to 99% of people I meet. She is also insanely cute and has the physicality going on, along with endearing mannerisms and the way she carries herself.

>>36228673
go for it my dude, you sound super into her!

I thought this was going to be a cool thread but it's just a bunch of queers talking about "personal issues" like fags.

Holy shit, go back to /soc/ or whatever you mewling weaklings came from. I'm out.

>>36228703
I want to but she's in a shitty LDR right now. Idk how long, she makes it out to be years but her boyfriend is a fuccboi who cheated early in the relationship and I theorize that he doesn't allow her to talk to guys or some such. I hope she one day develops self-esteem to allow herself to date someone who respects her.

>>36228742
lmao

>>36228821
>LDRs
Time to break them up

>>36228877
I know I know. They've met before several times from what I know but still. Probably some sunk-cost fallacy.
>tfw both my closest irl friends who also know her agree that her boyfriend is a fuccboi and tell me "fuck the boyfriend"
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh I want her so much.

>>36228898
They're telling you to fuck the boyfriend? Literally? Or metaphorically

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>>36228877
You're cool though, skeleton guy, even if you are a triphomo. You should probably put some dope skeletons next to every post though.

>>36229017
No, as in "fuck that guy he's stupid don't even worry about it etc". That context.

>>36229045
fuck that lol think about how much work that would be
I'm not that dedicated to my meme name

>>36229077
I'm surprised you're more dedicated to the trip than the dank skeleington memes out there.

>>36229111
i barely have the effort to get out of bed let alone meme that hard

>>36229075
ok was just making sure
it shouldnt have confused me but it did

>>36228520
Mostly the fact they think ive been in school and progressing for 3 years but ive gotten nowhere

Hey skelly how've you been?

Therapy has helped me out a bit but i've always come to these threads when i felt really shitty and you always cheer me up a little bit

>>36229791
Are y ou set to graduate?

>>36230234
<3 been better
need to just get a job
that will fix some of my problems
how are you?

>>36229791
Aye me to dude I've been living a lie for 3yrs and everyone thinks I'm gonna graduate. Will probably be homeless pretty soon. Sleeping in walmart parking lots actually sucks alot

>>36230258
Pretty good lately, i'm dealing with people a lot better and blaming myself less for things that should not concern me, still a lot of work to do but I feel stronger

What job are you looking for?

>>36230321
Anything not retail or fast food. Tempted to work factory with some people i know but IDK if i could handle that lol
I'm avoiding real life
I''m glad you're feeling stronger :)