ITT: Autistic shit you do

>>36218491
>pretend to preform the song I'm listening to in front of my whole high school despite being 23

I do that, sort of, except I imagine I'm this super musician/singer and I can change my voice to fit the song

And I go through my spotify library and imagine I'm performing that song the first time and everyone's amazed

Also when I watch a talk show I pretend I'm there and answer questions

>>36218491
>can't sleep without shoving ear plugs in my ears
>chug calcium or magnesium laced water when i'm anxious or depressed
>masturbate in my own pants often without changing them right away.
>have way too much fun shitting and thus stay on the toilet for at least 15 minutes.

File: oshitnggr.jpg (18KB, 366x380px) Image search: [Google]

18KB, 366x380px

>be in public
>pretend to stare into distance like im in deep thought
>maybe someone will think im a genius of epic proportions
I just dont even.

File: Comedy[1].jpg (50KB, 600x328px) Image search: [Google]

50KB, 600x328px

>>36218608
Alri Rupert Pumpkin

File: banner-2.jpg (675KB, 2200x900px) Image search: [Google]

675KB, 2200x900px

I don't think it is autistic but I have been in legal trouble for it.
Basically, I am concerned that soil erosion is damaging the food supply here in the UK, so every weekend I go out to nearby farms and dig holes and write notes about the soil quality and biosphere. I also make notes on how the farmer could diversify their crops to ensure food security and leave a note outside the door.

The issue is last week I was leaving a note for a farm suggesting he try and grow Sweet Potato in a greenhouse to prepare for global warming and he caught me and tried to shoot me with a shotgun (only gun I have seen IRL). I escaped but feel nervous now.

>>36218491
The first one is definitely me at all times kill me pls kill me

File: Men-out-on-shoot-photo-Farlap-Alamy-Stock-Photo[1].jpg (86KB, 900x507px) Image search: [Google]

86KB, 900x507px

>>36219076
I would shoot you if you kept coming on to farm Tbh m8

Better not be in Gloucestershire

>>36218750
fuuck I do this all the time.

>>36218491
I've stopped listening music because of the first

>>36218750
>>36219153
I used to spend my time sitting on public benches when I was a teen

dunno why

i drink jamba juice

File: 1410223801198.png (80KB, 375x383px) Image search: [Google]

80KB, 375x383px

>>36218491
Within 2 or 3 times of meeting someone I'll try to show them 5+ minute videos on youtube on my phone that sometimes don't match their humor but they watch politely anyways

>>36218491
>performing for your highschool
I'm also 23 why do we do this.

>>36219273
Also me.
It's so cringe when you can feel them slowly loosing interest but you force them to hang on until the last seond.

>>36218491
Did this nigger really just put anime into the same category as philosophy and religion?

>obsess over childish shit and hate myself for it
>Autism sneakers
>very picky with food
Just kill me now

>>36219406
>he still thinks anime isn't the highest form or art

>>36219273
Wow I hate you already

File: 1489162299422.jpg (15KB, 319x331px) Image search: [Google]

15KB, 319x331px

>>36218491
>same with the doorknob thing, except it's also with everything else, like if I walk with one foot on grass I have to do it with the other
>incoherently scream and ramble whenever I'm alone in the house
>curse and hit myself whenever I remember something embarrasing I did that day, last week or 5 years ago
>go on long nightwalks, loudly cursing whenever I'm sure no one is around
>actively avoid eye contact with people, which is especially difficult since I also have an autistic tendancy to stare at people

File: Screenshot_20170201-021443.png (1MB, 720x1280px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 720x1280px

>>36218491
This thread sucks
Im gonna dump my pissbottle collection
Theres a big surprise as the last picture.

>>36219652
>>very picky with food
Exact opposite, lately I've been very open to eating whatever, as long as it's actually edible and I won't die/get horribly sick from it I'll eat it.

Just think this to yourself next time: "this was made for people to eat so why wouldn't I eat it?"

File: Screenshot_20170201-033748.png (1MB, 720x1280px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 720x1280px

Here is more piss oreahginal

File: Screenshot_20170201-021448.png (1MB, 720x1280px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 720x1280px

Hmm this bin is rather large...

File: 1488048043563.jpg (13KB, 414x415px) Image search: [Google]

13KB, 414x415px

>every time I play a video game I make an imaginary sequel/spinoff to it in my head, especially if it's a story based game. I essentially have entire story boards for video games memorized in my head that will never actually become real
>Every time I finish a game, movie, tv show, or anime, I start talking to myself like I'm reviewing it on YouTube
>whenever I take a shit I imagine that the bathroom I'm in is a underground bunker and I'm living there to avoid some apocalypse above ground, it only works when I'm the only person in the bathroom though otherwise it feels awkward

>>36219189
Why exactly
Oregano

>>36219852
>>incoherently scream and ramble whenever I'm alone in the house
>>curse and hit myself whenever I remember something embarrasing I did that day, last week or 5 years ago
>>go on long nightwalks, loudly cursing whenever I'm sure no one is around
i do similar things to all of these
i'm trying to tone down the reactions so these days i mostly just gag or make chokey sounds

File: ee6.png (444KB, 357x750px) Image search: [Google]

444KB, 357x750px

>>36218491

Have completely fake ID with a made up organisations logo and phone number (which when ringed goes to a pre recorded voice asking for an identification number and then goes dead after 10 seconds)
> Carry around government looking documents with complete bullshit written on them like stuff about immortality and where the last of certain long lost species are

Basically playing pretend spy as a grown up.
If I die though, police will have to read that shit and will genuinely think I'm apart of some breakaway society that knows all about immortality and catches and keeps crytozoologyical specimens underground.

>>36220460
>implying they wouldnt just think youre a crazy person

File: Screenshot_20170201-021450.png (1MB, 720x1280px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 720x1280px

Ok im back
Lets take a look here

>>36220507

Nah. I'd end up on one of them Top 10 YouTube lists, and fellow autistics would investigate and be fooled.

>>36220019
Oh dude you're not the only one. I do 1 and 2 all the time with every game I've ever played.

File: st.jpg (55KB, 500x473px) Image search: [Google]

55KB, 500x473px

>answer a professor's question in class
>say "roasties" instead of "women"

File: depression_by_pwneropwnage-d6emf77.gif (280KB, 550x400px) Image search: [Google]

280KB, 550x400px

>be me
>sit in the dark in my room at like 1 am getting drunk and thinking about my ex and shit thinking im like that sad part from a movie but in reality i know no one is even watching me

I can't go into the same store if I've been there that day. I have a local store like 2 minutes away and another 15 minutes away and another like half an hour away.

If I need something else, I'll go to the 15 minute store over the 2 minute one. Then the half an hour one.

File: you.png (104KB, 841x618px) Image search: [Google]

104KB, 841x618px

>>36219076
You may not be autistic but you are retarded.

>>36220460
this one sounds fun though

>yell nigger at the top of my lungs when I'm sure nobody is at or around my house

>>36218491

>pretend to preform the song I'm listening to in front of my whole high school despite being 23

Jesus Christ I imagine that too.

>>36220726
>thinking your life is a movie
I'm not the only one that does this right?

>>36220843
wow there's a meme for everything

>>36218491
>like girls i either know nothing about or know too much about
>exist
>Never ask for help when i need it

>>36220939
Nah sometimes I pretend I am The Driver and act all cool and collected.

File: 99c7a81c.jpg (195KB, 1440x720px) Image search: [Google]

195KB, 1440x720px

What do you think his MBTI is?

>>36219652
I'm hyper picky with food and always have been. I dislike most things with taste. Except for really sour or spicy stuff as for me its so overwhelming they numb my mouth. Anything else with taste I hate so I just eat tasteless stuff.

Have imaginary conversation with people from uni. Imagine them initiating a conversation with me and me have lengthy convos about art politics. I pretty much imagine I have friendship with people from university. Reality is im a neet dropout. .

>>36221009
Literally who and why the fuck do you care?

>>36221087
oops this is not the MBTI thread, my bad

>>36220019
I do the first, I make up imaginary games and also imaginary movie, game and TV show adaptations and how I'd do it. I have a bunch of fake TV and movie adaptations in my head and a bunch of spin off games.

Also even though nobody will ever watch it, on RPGS I fully roleplay my character. Even if I disagree with their thought process and disagree with the choices they make, thats what my character that I made up would do.

I've done it for Dragon Age, Mass Effect, Fallout etc. Anything with choices and character creation.

>>36219076
that's actually good of you. soil erosion is a real thing. keep up the good work.

I havent left my bedroom for months now apart from going to the toilet. I feel like my brain is withering away due to lack of intellectual stimulation. Yesterday I stayed in bed staring at the ceiling then drifting in and out of consciousness

>>36220460
Can you provide a throwaway email to contact you? I can't imagine how funny you are in real life. I need to have a conversation with you, it will enrich my existence.

>>36221155
Hey, at least you aren't forced into situations that force some spaghetti spilling!

File: crazy laugh.gif (991KB, 233x199px) Image search: [Google]

991KB, 233x199px

>if my butt itches in public will rapidly pucker and unpucker my asshole until it goes away

File: 1474669517982.jpg (600KB, 739x960px) Image search: [Google]

600KB, 739x960px

>Sometimes I spend hours a day, pacing around my house, thinking about writing a shitty webcomic that I'll never actually write
I sit on an idea for a while and flesh it out in my head, and then I file it away in my head for when I want to think about it later or I want to think about something else. My current most fleshed out idea is something along the lines of pic related.

>constantly make hand tics or anxious body movements
>mimic drone sounds or bass with my mouth
>stare at others
>spit repeatedly for whatever reason
>avoid the sunlight at any possible cost
>awkward sitting positions
>don't look at people directly whenever I'm focused on something else

>>36220999
lmao you say this as if the rest of the time you're freaking out and shitting yourself

>>36220999
>nice trips
Yeah I pretend I'm the driver too.
I pretend I'm in the elevator and crushing the skull of chad while defending my oneitis.

>intense oral fixation
>cannot concentrate on tasks if any unwanted noises at all (talking, breathing, fidgeting, etc)
>always screaming in my head
>screams if alone or with small amount of friends
>talk to animals regardless of who is around

>>36221344
>>constantly make hand tics or anxious body movements
fucking kill me right now

File: red.jpg (358KB, 599x902px) Image search: [Google]

358KB, 599x902px

I'm constantly falling in love with pretty much every girl that shows me attention. The problem is that they are all way out of my league, so I can't tell them how I really feel.

It gets so bad that when ever I see the girl(s) I usually imagine what our lives would be like together.

>>36219273
fuck you. you have me do that all the time, sure its humorous but i dont need 10 minutea of silence while your phone plays

File: 1488311464302.gif (490KB, 160x120px) Image search: [Google]

490KB, 160x120px

>pretend to cuddle with imaginary girls while laying in bed
>when there's not enough room for 3 i hump the air and pretend a 3rd one is there
I-im not the only one, right?

File: FYuidlFn-jJI3zvG6nXLTAwTxEpWkcXcq7GDb3Xs3tg.jpg (93KB, 468x767px) Image search: [Google]

93KB, 468x767px

>>36221230
what a tekko meme