>SHITSHIT. THE FUCK IS THIS MY MOM JUST SENT ME THIS MESSAGE,

she's going to yell at you until you agree to get your life on track.

Maybe she saw your internet history

>>36217875
>obligatory "she wants to fuck" post

>>36217891
I have a small payed job :/
>>36217897
PC is ALWAYS password protected, i've never left it unlocked.

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>>36217875
>>36217916
look, now, we see you are putting much effort into this by explaining detailles about you, but you're gonna need to post some kind of timestamped picture of your phone's screen or something to actually make this thread interesting

She adopted you out so one of her coworkers, you are going to have a new mommy.

^
please fuck off of to 9gag

>>36217994
FUCK YOU, Go burn yourself with a pan or soemthing

Have you ever had a gf?

she's gonna ask if you're gay

>>36217875

She found your BLACKED folder

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>>36217875
>testing your own mom
People actually do this?

Uh oh tendies and hotpocket privileges may be revoked

>>36217994
fuck you, cant believe i looked at it

>>36218050
I mean teXting

>>36217994
classic prank anon. Regardless of whether you read and/or respond to this I will still bum your mother tomorrow

>>36218041
Could be, always been a single retard.
>>36218055
I buy my own food, fuck u

>>36217994
Go eat a bag of vaginas you fucking faggot

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>>36217875
>"Son...you know I'll always love your father, but...well, there's someone I'd like you to meet. "

>>36218050
Yes
Mom has a smartphone
You have a smartphone
Why would you not text each other?

she hears and smells your masturbating

>>36218118
My mom doesn't text.

Also OP you are getting kicked out of your house.

>>36218118
I'm 25 and I have never sent a text to my mom (or my dad). I just fucking call them.

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>>36218112
Never, If she does that, im never leaving my house

>>36217994
i enjoy massive nigger dick in my anus

>>36218143
Why call when you can text? You can organize your thoughts better with writing and other people can't hear you and know what you're talking about

>>36218165
You're going to have to. They're turning your bedroom into a gym for Tyrone.

>>36218112
That woman is seriously batting above her league
Ugly as sin

>>36218184
That's why I only call when no one can listen in.

>>36218184
My parents don't like reading screens.

>>36218232
Another reason why texting is better
You can do it any time anywhere

>>36218209
She is white so she's rather a trophy for the nigger than anything else.

>>36217875
So how long till she has this talk with you?

>>36218118
My mom is still rocking a 15 year old dumb phone.

>>36218184
This desu
op keep us updated

>>36217994
Hah! Gottem!
Knew what it was and read the damn thing anyway. Thanks lad

>>36218278
In about 20 minutes, if she gets here in time .

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She obviously found your perverted drawings of your sister.

>>36217994
fuck you originally oregano

>>36217994
Why do i fall for this one everytime

>>36218206
chuckled

originaIIIIllII

>>36218118
>mother eventually gets smartphone
>starts overusing emojis

>>36217994
C U N T S T A I N

>>36217875
>JUST SENT
>7:56
>14:48
???

>>36218419
ebin mene

Married:
She's getting a divorce

Single:
She wants to make you someone's wife's son

>>36218419
>timeszones

>>36218453
>getting married with your mom
l-lewd

>>36218439
IT'S A HUGE INCONSISTENCY IN OP'S STORY, PROBABLY JUST A FAGGOT PRETENDING

>>36218485
time is now 11:30 pm tho

>>36217875
Op update please

Original inhabitants

>>36218471
>sent :56
>posted :48
>JUST SENT

>>36217994
Low tier, would be better if you hadn't given the game away in your post. But well done, got me to reply at least

>>36217994
haha that's an epic meme

OP better update us

OP what timezone you at nigga

>>36217994
Kys nerd
Originaloli ravioli

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UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE

>>36217994
Y lad y u do dis

>>36218371
My mom is specially fond of the [girls with animal ears in leotard] emoji
I'm not sure what it means

>>36218371
my mother also does this now
her texts are practically hieroglyphics

>>36218720
His net got cut off. He is being forced to move to the country with a older family member.

>>36217994
Holy shit go back to elementary school already

I WANT TO KNOW OP

COME BACK HERE

>>36217994
die you cunt. or fuck off.

>>36217875
kys yourself

or

upd8
p
d
a
t
e

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OP SURELY ISN'T A COCKSUCKING TRAP POSTER AND WILL DELIVER

>>36218807
is it the dude who had to decide if he goes to china to his grandparents? it probably is the dude who had to decide if he goes to china to his grandparents

>>36218279
After I got a new l phone I gave my mom my old android and taught her how to play candy crush in it
I ruined her life when I did that desu
She's chained to that thing now

>>36217994
I hate you only a little less than my superstition

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>>36218852
that's a shitty pasta anon don't be obtuse

>>36217994
Screw you I love my mum blox.

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>>36217875
haha mine was like this

>have a family gathering
>at least 20 members
>cousin asks me
>"why don't you have a girlfriend anon?"
>they laugh it up hahaha anon still doesn't have a gf
>I got mad and start to shout
>"I JUST DON'T CARE ABOUT GIRLS"
>I wanted to say that I just kinda gave up
>akward silence and after a minute they start to do whatever normies do

fast forward one week

>be at work
>have an exact same message like op
>go home
>"anon we decied that you will see a psychologist because of what happened last week"
>of course they understood it like I am gay
>"wtf mom dad there is nothiing wrong with me"
>"YES THERE IS WRONG WITH YOU IF YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT GIRLS"
>"what happened with you anon? Did a girl bully you?"
>"no mom please understand that"
>"THERE ARE NO BUTS. WE CANT LET YOU TO DO THIS. IF YOU WONT VISIT A PSYCHOLOGIST YOU WILL LEAVE THE HOUSE"

>>36218929
t. kevin from home alone

Did the OP die or get shipped away?

>>36218929
Did you move out?

>>36217994
There's been a lot of this shilling lately.

>>36217994
g-good one

>>36217994
ok mummy

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>>36217994
N-n-no...
origami

>>36217994
fuck this omg

>>36217994
>All the (you)s for this.
God /r9k/ is worse than /b/ these days.

>>36217875
>7:56
>posted at __:48
>my mom JUST sent me this
Now why don't I believe you, OP?

>>36218929

Pls mum no bully

>>36217875
whatever it is, remember anon, it's not your fault. let them know. make sure they understand you are just the product of their upbringing.

if you are a shut in, social reject, unemployed, virgin, that is just the reflection of your parents. if they are mad at your, in reality they are mad at themselves.

if they throw you on the streets. embrace it. just hang out where they do shopping, where they work, where they do stuff. have a cardboard sign saying "my parents threw me on the streets, anything will help. bless you"

>>36219972
what are time zones, hmmm

>>36220325
Time zones don't change the minutes. It would have been 52 minutes later at the minimum

>>36217994

Dubs and you get a horrible disease for making that post.

>>36220423
I like that
Dubs and it comes true

>>36220131
Is this what you tell yourself each night to justify being a shitty, loser son?

>>36217994
Fc uK

>>36217994
Pls no di

>>36217994
oreginalaly aleon ekgotl my punny

>>36217994
Clever girl

Ravioli ravioli this comment is originoli

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Garibaldi obongo faggot

>>36217994
fuck off
oreganoregonaregano

I fucking HATE when people do this. Is it literally just to make me afraid? Just come and talk to me FUCK

My dad used to do this while we were both home and doing nothing, he would make me stew for like an hour for NO REASON. Fuck that guy and his fear tactics. He knows what he is doing.

>>36217994
You're a fucking roodypoo you faglord

>>36220921
Blorbliginal blost

>>36221114
Wait I thought this was one of those posts nevermind

>>36217994
haven't laughed this hard all week. can't fucking breathe

ggwp

>>36218165
then you get to hear jamal pound your mom's ass while her head bumps against the headboard and she's whimpering like an asian sex doll

>>36217994
fuck yourself you fucking faggot REEEE

>>36217994
Go fuck yourself in the ass Anon

>>36218143
it's better to text because it makes your mom keep her messages brief and succinct instead of rambling on while you're trying to get high or masturbate or do anything else more entertaining than talk to your folks

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My parents had to talk to me once, it happened after this
>be me
>highschool junior, pizza face and negative 5 stronk
>have giant crush, 7.8/9 qt
>see her at school
>"h-hey there Karlie"
"do I know you?"
>"umm we have first period chem together"
Chad walks up, literal Chad in every way, shape and form
"whats your problem, limp doodle, wanna tilly bro?"
>Karlie giggles
Little did Chad know, I had 3 weeks of kung-fu training
>get into defensive stance
>Chad hits me
brokennose.gif
>get stuck at home for 3 weeks
>watch nothing but discovery channel
>see show about bulls and their mating rituals
>watch the bulls slaughter eachother over females
>tfw bulls are the true chads
>get back to school
>go up to Karlie
>"hey there Karlie how about you and me study our chemistry together"
"uhhhmmmm_"
>Chad walks up
"need to learn another lesson tiny tits?"
>no martial arts needed
>time to out-Chad the Chad
>I put thumb tacks in between my fingers
>get low
>kick feet back off ground, like enraged bull
>let out my battle cry
MYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
>run at Chad, head down, arms raised
>hit him, fall back
>success
>look up Chad is fine
fuckingChad.jpeg
>mfw I stabbed the teacher with 10 thumb-tacks over mating privileges with a girl who didnt even know my name

>>36218236
>reading screens

what does this even mean?

>>36221029
Aye aye, gotta demand some clarification. If they won't go for it start turning it back on them with your own ominous messages

>>36218329
>read the whole screencap and have turns pouring down my face. everyone in the building can hear me laughing like a jackass

>>36217875
did you do anything degenerate that could be seen? if not it's probably some family matters shit about you or someone else

>>36217994
hahahha nice

original gomment

>>36217994
I never reply to this shit anyway

>>36217994
Fuck your originality originally

>>36221271
sorry but this is jut a low quality shit post. I know you're trying to get unto leddit /4chins but just stop posting forever please

>>36217994
Fug

Original, you creative onlooker

>>36217994
I do love my momma, holla

>>36217994
fugg uuu a-hole

>>36217994
fug organgolia

>>36217994
fug u :DDD
Or iginally

>Tfw never had this happen
>Tfw I'm a good son and my mom loves me
>My family accepts that I'm a loner, doesn't ask me about a gf, doesn't pressure me to go outside and do things
Feels mighty good

>>36217994
Chika chikaow!!! Lol guau.

>>36222546
>low quality shit posts aren't the bread and butter of this east asian silk trading forum

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>>36217994
ALL THESE UNDERAGE FUCKING FAGGOT NORMIES FALLING FOR FUCKING 2001 MSN CHAINLETTERS

KYS

IF YOU REPLIED TO THE POST I AM QUOTING THEN YOUR MOTHER WILL DIE TONIGHT.

NO PROTECTIONS
NO IMMUNITIES
NO REVERSALS
NO COUNTERS
ANY COUNTERS CAUSE YOUR MOTHER TO DIE TWICE

>>36218118
>everyone in my family is like "look at this meemee"
>emoji spam with text

>>36217994
This was actually used well for once

>>36217994
Best of these I've ever seen. I'll reply to respect that fact.

>>36217994
Kys shitty nigger

>been four hours
yep OP is a faggot who just wanted (you)'s

>>36224233
truly weird to see chain emails evolve into chain text messages into images following the "reply with x so that y" pattern

>>36217994
Why do you do this?

Originolia raviolia

>>36217994
DIE, MOTHER KILLING ROASTIE

>>36217994
Now why would someone post this. That's not very nice.

>>36217875
Kill yourself OP, that will show her.

>>36217994
gay go fuck off nigger nigger r9k worst board ever good god i cant even browse without niggers like you fucking shit up god

>>36217994
Why? How do you have this power?

>>36217994
Fuck you anon, Your mum should abort you, you fucking jew

>>36218209
For black men, white skin and light hair hair adds like 3 points on the attractiveness scale. Some of us are stupid like that.

That's the only way I can explain a 4 being with a 7.

>>36217994muted for 2 fucking minutes, fuck you

>>36217875
If your mom is like mine she does empty threats like this all the time and nothing comes of it.

>>36217994
You little prick

>>36221271
Sure anon. Btw why did you put 10 thumb tacks in between your fingers? Shouldn't it have been 6 if there were one between each of your fingers?

>>36217994
>reply
Sheeit nice one

>>36217994
Fuck you Nigger cunt faggot

>>36221316
>If they won't go for it start turning it back on them with your own ominous messages

top kek

So what happened to OP? He's not coming back is he...

>>36217994
fuck you sgohaoip iousdf gp]sdf g[oius dfgoi eroiu a[odihfg sdlf gdsf

>>36217994
Well done cunt

>>36217875

My dad sent me a similar text before he told me he was driving me to the marine recruiting office and that I could either go with him and enlist or move out and get a job and support myself. Tried to explain to him that times have changed and that "a firm handshake and eye contact" won't get you a job anymore but he just called me lazy and entitled. I ship out to boot camp soon and I'm terrified. I could barely even hold a conversation with the recruiter.

>>36217994
Douch3

>>36225747
You won't survive basic. You have to be able to deal with constant banter, bullying and shit tests over your masculinity

Have fun

>>36218929
You're just a brainlet anon. Your parents obviously care about you and are concerned about your social incompetence

>>36217994
burn

origami salami

>>36225956
t. guy who has watched too many military movies

in 2017 the military is totally cuck'd and easy as fuck to get into and stay in...the only "hard part" of my job is that I know I am wasting valuable years of my life doing this shit
-3 years as a 13B in the army

>>36218112
I've actually had a Russian friend in high school whom this happened to. Basically his father left for a few months for work reasons. His mother cheated on him and got knocked up by by a nigger, and ironically kept it for morality based reasons. Never heard what happened after he never spoke about it. Just became an alcoholic always drink in the bathroom stall. Funny enough it was always whiskey and beer with him never vodka.

>>36217875

She found your CP folder

OP is a dead man

>>36225747
You'll be fine. Basic is hardly anything these days. Don't volunteer for anything. Keep your head down and just follow the crowd. Request to be shipped to Okinawa so you can just drink and fuck locals.

>>36217994
i'll kill you and your lice

>>36220921
RUNNIN IN THE 90S
IT'S A NEW WAY I LIKE TO BE

>>36217994
Anon, we don't need more of these. It's time to let it go

>>36217994
Fucking asshat

Orgaloo

>>36217994
Gold

Original gf anon

OP will never respond

>>36224233
i really hope my mom dies tonight

>>36226666
cool quads

>>36217994
smfd

>>36217994

please stop

oreginald

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>>36217875
maybe it's not a big deal 2 days ago my mom was like "can we talk?" and she just wanted me to order pizza for dinner

>>36227915
why they do tihs?

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>>36221368
who the FUCK are you quoting dude

>>36227944
ikr I was like oh shit am I in trouble!!?
btw did OP tell us what happened

>>36217994
AaaaaAaaggggShsjd

>>36217994
Niggershitshittyshitnignognig

>>36217994
You can't fool me again

>>36217994
Sonofabitch.

Bottom text.

>>36217994
Rhfhfjhenndjdcjeenennc

>>36217994
youre a faggarooni my doodlidoo

>>36217994
same

>>36218050
of course

>>36217994
FUCKK I can't risk it fuck you bitch

>>36217994
Hsnwhevenwkwuwgwnwkwjwbfufyisosmesbwwjjenejekwnwnehenene

>>36217994
Fuck. you Mara.

>>36217994
No please

Oriniolf

OP's timezone is out of fucking spacetime, because nigga dont know what the fuck 9:25 is. It's 10:42, and if you're AMERICAN no one cares.

But seriously, he probably got booted out so no Wi-Fi.

>>36227540
Me too anon, but not replying never works...

>>36217994
havent read it but just in case

>>36217994
I didnt even read it but im just gonna reply i guess

>>36218143
I only call my dad, my mom and I bounce between texting for shorter conversations and call for catching up

>>36217994
RRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
nigger nigggg

>>36217994
im gonna be late for work

>>36217994
these are so dumb

>>36227944
Fruit don't falls too far from the tree, if you're this pathetic, it's fair to assume that your mother is also pathetic.

Being pathetic, she has nothing worth noting going on with her life, so talking about dinner becomes a really important topic that demands special treatment.

>>36217994
Orangunal

>>36217994
what are you gonna spend all these (You)'s on anon

>>36217994
I already knew it was coming lol

>>36217994
shitting fucking reeeee

>>36217994
This is 10/10 necessary

>>36224233
Can it be my mom and dad?

No please dont do this to my beautiful mother ;(

>>36218184
Because it's fucking dishonest. Learn how to socialize

>>36217994
I read the image name but still read the text.
actually retarded.

>>36224233
>Die twice

>>36217994
Why aren't mods doing their job?

>>36227953
He's not quoting

>>36217994
Bollocking fuck

>>36217994
fak

oreganouuu

>>36217994
please stopp

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>>36217994
Danger doggo is stronger than your curse

>>36217994

YOU CANT HAVE MY MOMMY YOU ROASTIE

>>36217994
Gas yourself you nugget shit nugget eater

>>36217994
Every mother flaking time

>>36217994
fucksickles

niggoriginal

>>36217994
TEEEEEHHEEEEEEEE

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>>36218329
Oh god, I was there for that thread, what a nice time.

>>36217994
Fuucck...I will fucking rip your nuts if my mom dies today..

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>>36217875
Don't panic OP. Your shit mother is using the sort of masturbatory tactic women use when they want to discuss something "serious".

They say that to get you unsettled.

>>36233570
Doesn't that mean that danger dog kills itself?

>>36217994
I hope you disintegrate

>>36217994
rrrrhrhrjjjjrjjnnbdb

>>36217994
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TbbvXK5QS8&ab_channel=Tyrone
Fuck you anon

>>36218329
Jesus Christ. Updates?


Originalio

>>36217994
testgregegre

>>36234751
Try a ouija board

Is OP kill?
organolio

Shit shit shit what did I miss?!